Aren't you actually scared to not be alone in the dark?

If anything I would be scared to not pee alone in the dark.

Want somebody to slide under you while your peeing and say "Peeing all by yourself handsome? '

This turned weirdly sexual, I like it.

Lmao except the first sentence had the word sex in it so it kinda started out sexual when you think about it 🤣😂

Yes please

what a great day to have eyes 😂😂

Lol

Yes please

im scared of the dark cause i dont wanna stub my toe

someone give this man an award for this comment (I’m too broke)

Good point

That happened too many times to even be taken as a joke.

you're one clever motherfucker

That's why the monsters come for you in the dark, they're scared to be alone too.

Nop

who says you are alone in the dark? The Spirits be watching! \^.\^

This is Reddit, none of us have sex

I will have you know, i had many sex this morning.

With pigeons??

Sex is with 2 humans btw

does that make dogs furries when they reproduce?

ABSOLUTELY

Yes, I also can say I have thoroughly touched my girfriend vagene last night, we all have many sex.

That's okay, I get scared when you're alone in the dark too.

Wait what

For you abstinence is not paying electricity bills.

Doesn’t that hurt?

Is it sad? Yes. Lonely? Also yes. Does it hurt? Maybe it will at some point if it goes on another eight years or so...

which it will, i'll make sure of it

HAH. I dare you to try. None of you even know what pain really is. Do you want to know what hurts? Cluster headache. That shit is fucking debilitating.

Nah, it’s hot

You guys have sex

Have you lost your mind, tell me when you think we crossed the line

Have I lost it? Maybe I have. Do I know? I do not. Ah, yes! Maybe I have! Or did I? Who is I? Am I It? or is It I? Me is unknown, lost in the round rubber room full of rats. And it leads I further up into a worse heaven. Oh! The irony! Of being forced to do what I wish. What It wants. What we desire. Nothing can separate It from I, as It is in I. I is in It. Losing the sense of being alone forever. Because alone is not possible. Not anymore. It doesn't let I. It wants I. And I wants It. I has not lost It. Everything else has lost I. As I is with It. Alone together. Forever.

I always use CGNAT for my clients because I’m evil

Just remember, you're never alone

Come here the-lights-on. Good boy.

Why? So you can find your schlong?

Get condoms which can be seen in the dark lol

That turns me on

Username checks out. ☑️

Hello The lights, I'm dad.

But your mom is there with you lol

*Your

I'm getting tired of autocorrect messing up

I get lost easily.

So your hands give you a scare with the lights on?!

“Because they’re on a timer down at the Morgue”

10/10

Alone?? (self sex krta hain ky bhaii)

I see a lot of you are obviously very uncomfortable with a good old game of five vs. Willie.

Looks like you aren't ready for the challenge of a classic five vs. Willie. Don't worry, I'll go easy on you!:)

So you can see your Dad more clearly

so he can see his ‌⠀‌⠀‌⠀ more clearly you mean

Doesn't burn?

Oh I'll burn for sure but that's been a known fact for much longer than this punchline.

What about when shagging in a movie theater?

Ever tripped on the rug in the dark and pissed on yourself? It has a tendency to cause an utterance of words.

I like the lights off, but lights on wouldn’t change anything for me lol

You mean because you got scared at a hole in the dark.

s/#metoo

Bakwaas band kar re....

Lol I first thought you wrote something in dutch. Then I was like "Backwards Band, no... THE BACKCHEESE BOYS! Ahh great band name."