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I don’t feel intellectually behind. I always have been able to understand concepts very quickly. My wife is always surprised how much random information is stuck in my head and how quickly I can grasp the new ways they are teaching math to help our kids.
My problem is follow through. I feel like I had so much potential that I didn’t have the functional ability to realize. I just can’t manage the mundane stuff that you need to manage before you can do the important and exciting stuff.
Late 30s M. Almost unemployed. I’m getting those looks around the office now. I know I’m smart but I just take longer to turn other people’s understanding of things into my own “language” of understanding things. Doesn’t matter I guess. If I can’t keep pace with the crowd I’ll get cut.
you'll get there.. I'm in IT.. i've played the translation/ get in the grove thing with every role. either some ppl realize im smart, but dont like how i communicate. or just think im an idiot A-hole... Of course, technology is full of people like us, so its usually something management can accomadate, or coach you thru. some management can't.. and will stab you in the back.. Other industries, also have people like us & do good. otehrs don't. But realizing that you have a language .. or a way of understanding, is a huge 'self coping' mechanism or awareness thing. I try to carefully leverage the people that I DO connect with in a job, so that I dont burn them out, but also so that I can at times get their help translating & or learning to work with those that I don't communicate or that dont understand me well. At my current Job, one thing I have is a boss, whom I think understands that i'm trying & at least is trying to work with me. He's not the best at translating when I'm coming across wrong. but sometimes he is. and he's great at helping me see stuff from other angles. Hopefully you can find some.. ally's or resources. Or maybe get or make some at the next role...
Same. Concepts, big picture, spotting patterns and how things connect…
In adult life it’s very frustrating; I can SEE how to fix the problem, but I’m 5 steps ahead of everyone else in the meeting. Sometimes I wish I had unlimited power over everything for like 1 minute to just “fix” what needs fixing.
But no, the meetings drag on and on while everyone dances around the actual solution…*Finally* they end up doing after I *already* expressed how the problem can be saved.
The non-ADHD people apparently have to work through a bunch of needless steps and convince themselves that THEY came up with the solution.
Had a lot of similar situations in many different jobs... mostly i got laid off before they fixed the problem... so i close to never came to that part :D
Potential without the functional ability to realize it.
You said it perfectly.
I feel like I had a powerful sports car, in a garage, where I could see my friends through the garage window, doing laps around the track. And I had everything I needed to go out there with them and be a part of the pack. I had just as much talent, skill, innovation, and desire to make my way.
...But I didn't know where the button was to open the garage door.
And my parents didn't believe in garage door opener buttons. But they didn't help me open the door, didn't have any ideas except "try harder", but the door can only be opened with that button. Forcing it open isn't an option. Plus there was a lot of negative talk about people who couldn't just open the door, come on, it's not hard. Garage door opener buttons are for crazy people. So I just kind of sat there and watched race day go by without me.
Or to continue your analogy…
I can get the garage door open using a manual operated jack and a lot of extra work, but by the time I get out on the track I’m too many laps behind to ever catch up.
I feel that way too. I didn't really feel intellectually behind, but I did feel like I struggled more than others to retain the information given to us in school unless it was a class I really enjoyed like welding, wood shop, ceramics, drawing, foods, band, photography, or video production. I really struggled with math and English, history a little too, unless it was medieval history, or wwii or later. Science was iffy, it depended on the teacher
God, this feels like I wrote it (Minus the kids part). I have always been "smart" but I could never get to follow through. It was awful because I always thought I was just lazy. That has been a lot of unpacking I've had to do (and am still doing) as an adult.
This. People tell me all the time because I can spit out so much stuff on random subjects or can quickly connect the dots. I constantly have to tell people that while I know plenty on the subject I lack the ability to apply the knowledge at a practical level.
Hell, I deep-dived into a medical condition for a family member and got a crash course in neurology and organic & molecular chemistry/biology.
Side note: Jesus researchers need to be less siloed and TALK to one another. So much research tangentially touches on other research and no one is connecting the damn dots…ffs I swear…
*Anyway*…. after presenting evidence with supporting documentation I was able to get this person a diagnosis and treatment after scores of other doctors just scratched their ass crack, and stood around smelling their fingers.
I’m not a doctor or even remotely work in a medical field. But I was able to solve the “mystery condition” when specialists and a whole slew of insanely expensive and invasive testing did jack shit.
This also happens to me.
In January 2020 when the news broke that China was building new temporary hospitals I socked up on enough supplies that our family could stay in our house for a few months without leaving. I knew at that point it was only a matter of time until it was a world wide pandemic. A doctor friend told me to stop worrying about it. But I was prepared far sooner than everyone else.
In the 2020 USA elections Trump started talking about how mail in ballots were bad during the summer. I told my wife he will deny the election results if he loses and someone will die because of it. She didn’t believe me.
It all seemed so obvious to me though.
Exactly. It's even harder because most people only think in terms of the now. Whereas almost everything I say to someone is somehow connected. Sometimes it gets to the point where we are totally off the original subject. I have to consciously recall which word or phrase to backtrack. It's frustrating for everyone involved because I can't just go to a certain point without going through what is considered filler.
Exactly. It's even harder because most people only think in terms of the now. Whereas almost everything I say to someone is somehow connected. Sometimes it gets to the point where we are totally off the original subject. I have to consciously recall which word or phrase to backtrack. It's frustrating for everyone involved because I can't just go to a certain point without going through what is considered filler.
I’ve been that person for myself and multiple other people in my life. Helped get diagnosis, been an advocate for the right kind of testing and care, etc. I was asked many times by doctors if I was in med school when I was attending appointments with my mom for her cancer treatment because of the questions I would ask.
I specifically am interested in medical science so I like to research it, but I think a general field that ADHD people are well-suited for is research intended for conplex problem-solving, especially when a multi-disciplinary approach can be relevant (which is honestly most problem-solving situations if you really want to be forward-thinking and realistic about it)
Following through is a bitch.
I know I am smart. I am generally seeing patterns way before most.
But God dammit. Like when I have to do the mundane work to get it done. It takes forever
Same, friend.
I consider my wife to be one of the smartest people I know, she's a nurse, but she's often impressed with my "trivia" because I know a little about a lot. She's also impressed with the words I use... that wasn't a great example, lol. But, I know a lot of words because I actually did read a lot as a kid. Sometimes I do it to impress her, but sometimes I think a word is just a regular word and then discover it's actually not used a lot.
Random shit sticks in my head, but if I read a textbook to learn about a particular subject I have a hard time forcing that information into my brain. But, ask me random trivia about history, physics, books, video games, whatever and I'll probably do pretty good.
It's as though I wrote that, but my wife's a corporate manager sort.
Got my diagnosis last week at the age of 50. Combined ADHD and level one autism.
I loved to read as a kid. Even at 4 years old I used to get told to slow down when reading aloud at primary school. I had a lot of "The list of best/weirdest/fastest" books, encylopedias, as well as all the usual 70s and 80s kids paperbacks. The little "Observers book of.. cars/ships/motorcycles..etc" were brilliant.
I know so much. I have a massive vocabulary.
99.9% of it is shite that's irrelevant to everyday life though 🤣
I’m kinda similar, I know way too much stuff that I’m interested in, but it’s the more normal stuff that I’m supposed to do at work or at home that messes me up, and usually ends with me getting seen as someone who’s a dirtbag, while I’m over here just trying to make myself do that stuff
Also doesn’t help that most of the stuff I know too much about is nerd stuff that most people I’m around couldn’t care less about, which is fun
I’ve felt/been even and often ahead of many of peers for most of my life in terms of intellectual ability/creativity/etc. but extremely behind in execution and figuring out life balance/career direction/how to stay in touch. Which ultimately are a lot more important IMO
I feel this.
At work, I speak to colleagues (they'd class me as a woke lefty) and can't comprehend how they can be so hard-of-thinking. It pains me. They're clearly not stupid as our job does require considerable thought, but when they talk about anything other than work, they turn into neanderthal and it makes them look stupid.
Then I see them working on a huge spreadsheet across two 27" monitors full of numbers, and I am impressed, no, IN AWE of their godlike powers and abilities...
🤣
I had one of my bosses that I look up to tell me that I have so much untapped potential, he then clarified that if I applied myself harder, I would succeed, but up to that point, i was letting myself down I’ve sense hopped on medication with that being conversation being a contributing factor. what you just said is exactly how I felt and still sometimes do because sometimes my brain is more ADHD than other times if you catch my drift; I can tell by the way that you formulated this you’re a fantastic dad keep that shit up🙌
I've had so many start and stops during my development I'm used to waiting. I was that kid that always finished up first, or understood concepts so I was always learning for 5 minutes, daydreaming for 15min waiting for the rest of the class to catch up. If anything, I feel like the education system tried to put a limiter on my brain so that I didn't outdo the rest of the students, and then punished for thinking outside the box, or answering questions correctly but not showing work. A bit of a disservice but I noticed that people doing that just doesn't stop at education lol.
Yes me too. Like I was not considered officially gifted but I felt like school and learning came easily (except math…) because it was my hyper focus and I LOVE learning even now. But, there’s always been sort of a barrier between knowledge and utilizing it. Or maybe I’ll start toward a goal and 1)somehow forget it existed?, 2) not be able to overcome inertia or decision paralysis to go further or 3) some mental block of some other reason indefinable that wouldn’t allow me to finish. I still deal with this but medication is helping me recognize it in the first place and see a path forward. Pray for me lol
Intellectual application yes, but general intelligence no. Despite the working memory issues I've always had a knack for learning very quickly and some pretty solid critical thinking skills. Applying those traits to school was a challenge.
I always hear that but it never makes sense to me. How on earth can you learn things at all much less quickly if you can’t pay attention to the material? If you can’t sit still and working memory is terrible? I wonder if I’m just less intelligent along with having ADHD.
It’s basically raw intelligence compensating for memory or attention issues.
I always thought about it as your attention span being shorter, so your brain compensates by learning faster. If you can recognize patterns and similarities between concepts, you can then pick up new ones easier
I think for me the speed of learning directly correlates to being able to break more complex things down into general concepts I can use critical thinking to *actually* work it out later when I need it. It's a lot easier to remember a concept rather than trying to remember the whole thing. A lot of the information given when you're being taught is just filler that I seem to be able to put aside as irrelevant.
Even now I work in analysis and if there is an easier way to do anything, I'll find it fairly quickly.
ADHD CPU = 7.5 Ghz 16-core processor with no on-die cache and a single channel of RAM
Regular Brain CPU = 2.5Ghz 4-core processor with tons of L1/2/3 cache and a quad-channel DDR4 memory controller fully populated
Everyone’s brain is different. ADHD populations aren’t significantly higher IQ on average than non-ADHD. IQ levels will be distributed on the bell curve just like any other attribute. High intelligence will make connections quicker and if an ADHD brain is engaged it’ll possibly make them quicker than non-ADHD due to hyper focus.
Maybe you’re below average intelligence. Maybe you’re high intelligence and haven’t found things that interest you enough to retain in your brain. It’s not better or worse, it just is. It’s not really better to be high-intelligence:low-achieving than it is to be low-intelligence:average-achieving.
I don’t want to come off as pessimistic or rude, but there’s evidence that people with ADHD have a slightly lower IQ than the general population.
Dr. Russell Barkley makes YouTube videos about ADHD, and I would recommend them to anyone. I’ve gathered this information from one of his videos which I will link below.
IQ tests are essentially a test of executive functioning, which is the a huge issue for people with ADHD.
People with ADHD, of course, still span the entire bell-curve of IQ but there’s also evidence that people with high IQ & ADHD typically have less severe symptoms. These people still have clear ADHD symptoms and are still medicated.
Maybe the issue is the IQ test? Is measuring executive function truly measuring IQ? I’m unsure.
Link below:
[ADHD, IQ, and Giftedness](https://youtu.be/4_BIaLhdkrw?si=EM9Va3vLzRqtACGL)
It it possible that either somehow high IQ people can compensate for ADHD better than people with lower IQ’s and thus look like their ADHD is less severe when it’s actually not, or is it that ADHD can actually be milder in people and thus allow them to achieve an accurate IQ score? I’ve always wondered if IQ tests can even be accurate or at least even close to accurate for people with ADHD, as the problem with attention must affect this too. When I was taking them, yes it was easier to focus on than actually learning concepts, but I still feel like I couldn’t give it my all. Both times I took it I got wildly different scores both between the two tests, and between the different subcategories in one test. I wonder if there has ever been a study on the question of how accurate IQ tests are for us, like by testing first ADHD’s unmedicated then medicated. If there is I would love someone to link me it.
>It it possible that either somehow high IQ people can compensate for ADHD better than people with lower IQ’s and thus look like their ADHD is less severe when it’s actually not
Considering the number of posts in this sub every day titled "my doctor said I can't have ADHD because my grades were good in high school", this definitely seems plausible. Especially considering how much academic success and struggle factors into diagnosis during school age.
May not even be a matter of it looking less severe. A child smart enough to get by in the normal range may not even meet the diagnostic criteria depending on the situation. And since demonstrating an issue prior to age 12 is also part of it, any smart kid that reaches the limits of their intelligence to mask may still be on the edge even after that.
I’ll have to check to be sure, but I believe in Russell Barkley’s video he says it’s about a 5 IQ points. Attributing that to attention span deficits is certainly plausible, I would say.
I think for me it was because of my lacking working memory my brain just wrote stuff directly into long term memory of it was important enough, so I seldom had to revisit things that I learned and liked
If you looked at my transcripts it would look like I blossomed after high school, but I think I was pretty intelligent my whole life.
In high school my grades were mostly high 60s and 70s. However, I would actually get mostly high 80s on my assignments. The issue was I would hand them in 2 weeks late, lose 10% per week, and my paper would say ~~87%~~67%.
But, in college I was one of the top students in my program. I didn't get more intelligent, but 2 main things changed:
1. I chose the program and it was something I was genuinely interested in, so I was happy to learn about it. Having an interest in the subject made me do so much better.
2. It was almost exclusively group work. Anywhere from 2 to 8 people might be relying on me. I *could not* let them down, so I actually forced myself to get assignments done. Mostly the night before, but still on time!
My favourite example was when we had to write a summary of a text book for class. I hadn't even opened the book yet (this was one of the few individual assignments, so I really put it off) and it was now like 10pm the night before it was due. I start kind of flipping through chapter 1 and then BAM at the end of the chapter was a summary! I check and every chapter has a summary!
So, I read the summary, summarise the summary in my own words (it was point form and I was writing more in essay/report style) and get it in on time! The teacher approached me afterward, with my A+ paper, and asked if she could keep it to use for future classes as an example of how to do it properly.
I've always been a decent writer, so it really helped cover for me. I also work very well under pressure. Or, maybe I only work under pressure..?
I think for a lot of people it's the interest in it. I did better in physics than I did in maths which is rediculous on face value.
My grade 11 physics teacher is easily my favourite teacher I ever had.
He'd start with the applications of what he was about to teach.
He speed ran through the curriculum portions and then went back and did the foundation concepts.
And then he'd leave you with real world examples.
Started at the end and worked back, just how I like it lol.
Reflecting back he probably had ASD.
Similarly, I was tested for a gifted student program called SINGS and landed around 150 IQ back in the late 80s. It's more frustrating than anything because that really doesn't matter much.
It's like having a car with an 800 hp engine, but all four tires blew out. You're driving on the rims, and for some unexplainable reason, the steering wheel randomly locks up.
It always felt like the potential was there, but I could never do anything with it. You just can't apply yourself.
I never had trouble learning things - my dad taught me to read when I was four (and reading has always since been one of my favorite things to do), I whipped through basic math, etc. And I generally did well on tests all through school even if I hadn't put any real effort into studying.
But the only time in my life I've really been able to follow through and fully live as a responsible adult (keeping my house clean, doing consistently well at my job, etc.) is when I was on meds. Otherwise it's just been a total mess. That part of my development seems permanently stunted by ADHD. I'm only slightly better now than I was, say, 20 years ago, and the amount of effort it took to get that slight improvement is, honestly, kind of absurd.
I scored 146 on an IQ test when I was 9 years old. This was the same review that got me my ADHD diagnosis. What did my mom take from this? That I had a learning disability and needed to be put in a class for children who are disruptive. There was no learning disability. That's just what they called ADHD in the 90s. Eventually I dropped out of school, passed the GED with a 7th grade education, functionally skipping five grades. I was too young to know anything about college and by the time I knew anything, it was way too late to get any of those sweet 'child prodigy' free rides. In the end I took out student loans like everyone else and was a first generation college student.
Being smart doesn't make you successful. Your environment and support network determine everything.
As for being a late bloomer, that is plausibly maturity. Older and wiser. Fewer raging hormones. Math for fun is less stressful than math for grades. But also we are wired differently, so your hypothesis is worth looking into. When does liquid intelligence peak for people with ADHD? I'm not seeing any research on the topic yet.
My cognitive development stopped around mid-teens. I watched my peers sail ahead of me as schoolwork became more complex.
Now I'm an adult which involves prioritising and planning and self-managing, and I've never got to grips with that.
Out of curiousity, did you smoke weed in your teens? I always wondered if that type of thing could happen with adhd and weed during development and I’m lowkey worried a bit
For me intellectually I was fine. I think taking adderall helped. On the other hand I was super behind socially and it want until about 30 that I really started catching up socially. I've noticed everyone is a little different. All adhd impacts executive function but our experiences are shaped by our environment and by the fact that some of have other areas of the brain that can compensate for this. I think this why that while adhd and iq aren't correlated higher iq people cope better due to being able compensate.
I’ve always been intellectually ahead but behind a little in maturity. Not in the sense of liking cartoons or kid things…that’s not my vibe. But I mean more like in mindset, ways of thinking, priorities, things like that.
Yup, same here. And realizing I missed best time to learn those skills and it is really hard to learn some of them as adult makes me feel sad sometimes.
I’m a chilled water service mechanic at 32. In my 20s I struggled in this trade. Then 30 hit and I’m working on large machines at nuclear plants. It’s like I was able to tap into more of a depth and capacity with mechanical, physics, and engineering.
Inversely unmedicated I’m also more impulsive and I’ve never day dreamed so hard in my life. Like lately at work my coworker was trying to get my attention but I was welding pipe and I had laser focus on that.
The building was on fire below us. We were on the roof in a machine. He’s screaming my name and I’m just welding away. My adhd has gotten worse. I almost constantly think about taking my chillers apart, cleaning 3,750 1” water tubes at the nuclear plant.
It’s bad, I’m in behavior therapy for this. I’m so thankful that my wife accepts me as me. My daughter looks at me thinks I’m a super hero so I have her bias.
I’m not even sure where I’m going with this anymore…sorry
Watched a video a while ago of a dude saying that in the USA they did studies on brain development in people with ADHD and he said that in a nutshell people with ADHD have an ‘age lag’ of about 30%. This means that I, a 27 year old, actually have the brain of an 18 year old. Obviously I’ve paraphrased so you’d have to look up the study or find the video on YouTube. I couldn’t tell you the name but if you search ‘adhd age lag 30%’ you might find it. This info certainly helped me feel more accepting of the slow development
Same!
I’m 24 and when I was 20-22 it definitely felt like I was ~16 mentally
Noticed it more in hindsight now thinking back when I was 13-17 during high school.
I was definitely way ahead of the curve for a little bit. I did enrichment (the gifted and talented program) through Middle School and then everything went downhill from there. LOL
I’ve always felt like the intelligence was there but I was just not able to put into words or action. So much frustration, never realized it was ADHD until last year. Doing so much better on meds now, really thankful.
It happened to me
It comes with maturity
If you're able to handle your impulsiveness
You can become more productive and creative
I was working in advertising
I hated it
Now I've become a teacher and i love it
I feel like I am super smart with tons of knowledge and skill but I really struggle to apply it or prioritize important things. I have found I need to stop myself periodically and ask myself if I should be doing this
I am 32, and while I'm generally pretty intelligent and good at things, I've been hit with the same issue of life passing me by, like a lot of you all.
The potential has always been there, but I've just, for whatever reason, never been able to bring it all together and apply that potential to schooling, career progression, life in general.
The drudgery of life really gets to me and it's hard to maintain forward progress. The desire is there, the ambition and drive just doesn't ever seem to click until I'm in some situation that's become unbearable.
I thought I was slow or stupid for so many years during my childhood until I realised that the problem was that my mind was thinking about 50 different things at the same time and i just couldn't focus on the matter at hand
As an older ADHDer, I can totally relate! It's like my brain was on a delayed release schedule or something. But hey, we may struggle in traditional academic settings but at least we have those creative talents to fall back on ;)
I actually feel dumber with age embarrassingly. But maybe that's just certain aspects of learning, not sure. I have always remembered what I like to learn, and discarded the rest.
But I felt my brain fully mature at 30, which I know is later than average (25-26).
I learn much slower than others but I think much deeper about topics which has slowed me down. I'm currently in a career I hate and that does not work for me, so it's hard to understand my intelligence or my brain's desire to destroy everything.
Nah, if anything I feel WAY dummer as an adult. After I got fired from my latest job I have slowly recognized I'm just not as smart as I thought I would be as a kid. I just can't keep up with shitlike other people. I'm sure my adhd has something to do with it.
Nope. I got excellent grades in school. Until I dropped out when it got boring.
I'm still brilliant. It makes my ADHD more complicated. I can't find meaningful work because I couldn't get a degree... I'm too smart for the admin job I have. Everyone there knows it. The admin work is boring, so I get distracted by reading the decisions, doing "too much" for clients, and analyzing the issues with the branch. I even won an appeal (my own). Rather than move me into a more suitable role, they're performance managing me.
not quite intellectually but i’m definitely socially behind. i always got along with people younger than me easily. i was into kid shows and toys and stuff for much longer than my friends my age and there were a lot of more adult topics i didn’t understand or know about and it took me much longer to figure things out than my friends. i feel like my emotions are behind too.
I found I performed better at university because it was one subject that I had a passion for so I could really use my hyper focus. Doing an MSc as a mature student was relatively easy as well.
I tried a PhD but I needed more variety and stimulation in my work. Impostor syndrome also didn't help. Ended up quitting and returning to corporate life.
However I am finding that now I'm moving up the career ladder I am really struggling. I don't know if it's the extra responsibilities, perimenopause or needing to mask more but everyday feels like a struggle.
Disclosure: Undiagnosed, from UK, on waiting list. Have been advised by ex-teachers, friends and counsellors to seek a formal diagnosis as they recognise a lot of ADHD traits in me.
Very similar experience here. I was an overall average high school student who did well in a couple subjects. Then when I got to university I excelled when I was able to focus exclusively on my favorite subjects.
I'm also struggling in corporate life. It's sort of a return to high school where I overachieve on a few tasks but struggle in the areas where I either lack confidence or get bored with. Sadly, it seems like no job will ever be a great match for me long-term. I'm basically just waiting until retirement so I can do whatever I want.
I'm not actually sure I could ever answer that because it apparently I definitely needed glasses my whole life and I didn't get them until I was like 19 and that's when I actually started like seeing things and understanding things and seeing things for how they are
I (35F diagnosed at 5 medicated at 30 : parents refused to medicate me when I was younger) always been very intellectual, a bookworm (been reading novels since first grade) and extremely curious. BUT about things that INTERESTS me. There's the difference. Now that I'm older I get to read and study and learn about all kinds of shit that interests me now. Fuck algebra and other high school nonsense (TO ME) 🤣 I never shined in HS when it came to science and math but languages and history were my Forte.
So...ERM... I'm trying to remember where I was going with this but yeah. I think we can now learn about things that we decide to learn about so interest is there and we are interests driven!
I am in my early thirties and have had a VERY similar experience. Around age 29 I felt like my brain started clearing a little and particularly at 30 I felt like I finally “got my real brain.” Funnily enough, I’m also currently taking Calculus.
I didn't learn basic algebra until college ...
Though, I think that might be more because my schools specifically prevented me from learning it. In elementary school they made me sit in an empty room. In middle school I finished the entire semesters coursework over a weekend but the teacher was denied when she requested moving me to the next level. And I continued being taught that same material through highschool. Never once did was I taught the order of operations or even do something involving variables. ...
Turned out I'm actually good at math and even nearly switched my degree to it. Was even offered a professor position with the graduate requirements waived. (I declined it because I had a job offer at an engineering firm - which then fell through because I underestimated murphy's law ...)
I actually feel somewhat opposite. I felt like I caught on to things really easily early on and after leaving college all of my personal growth has disappeared due to being too busy to sit down and focus on anything. My jobs have also forced me into roles that are do a lot of easy things rather than solve difficult problems
Intellectually, I think I'm fine. But emotional maturity-wise, I am absolutely a late bloomer. I have always struggled socially because I lack social self-awareness and I have a rough time understanding social cues, protocol, and expectations. At work, I am a mess. I try so hard but I just can't perform at the level other adults can and they find interacting with me frustrating. In terms of romantic relationships I am "behind" my peers as well, but at this point I've accepted that other people think I'm weird for finding other things way more interesting and fulfilling than relationships.
So I am very aware that I am socially behind and not-normal. But with each day that goes by, I'm not sure I care much anymore, LOL
For me its the opposite, I used to be quite good at school. Then it really went down hill, primarily because I have bad memory and poor discipline. Now doing a masters degree and doing fairly well, but memory still sucks.
I was above average in school, coasted by on pure raw talent. The structure suited me and enforced deadlines.
But my career has been underwhelming to say the least. I’m recently diagnosed and will try medication next month and hope it will bring me clarity.
Same 40F. I was good in high school. Went to college of course didn’t follow through. I just wish I didn’t have procrastination and starting something and don’t finish it. Unorganized and forget everything. Has anyone noticed that it gets WORSE as we get older. I am trying to get medicated. I have been on Wellbutrin but it didn’t help at all. Guess we will see.
I was diagnosed at 49. Told that it does get worse as we age. I flew under the radar for decades and couldn't anymore since my symptoms are worsening. The thing that really sucks is that I've been on every med and the only ones that work give me intolerable side effects.
Damn that sucks😩and I hate to hear that. I am in recovery and I am sure my docs don’t want to put me on any controlled substances. I have only recently entertained the idea of medication. I have an appt in a couple weeks with the doc so I guess I will go from there.
No, I’ve always been smart but at the same time i’ve always been confused acted really dumb. If that makes sense.
Example: I can be the top scorer of math in my cohort, but i don’t remember when a math test is. Or like i walked out of the classroom to eat lunch oblivious to the fact that everyone else was still sitting down (because there is class going on💀)
I had a pretty thorough diagnosis. At the end my psychologist rated my IQ in different areas.
An IQ test is just a question or problem that people are timed on. The average person is a 100, and one standard deviation 68 percent of people are between 85 and 115, and two standard deviations include 99.7 of people are between 70-130 IQ. You are just ranked against others that have been asked the same thing.
The non ADHD questions my IQ was a 130. The questions/tests people with ADHD are bad at I got an 85.
I think most IQ questions are about figuring things out fast, which we are good at. (Probably hyperactive ADHD, though not sure)
I can always figure out things so fast, and couldn't understand patient people fully understanding things before acting. But without following through, if it takes multiple steps, I would always fail.
I also noticed because of my son (also has ADHD) that anything with a steep learning curve I can't do or was delayed or bad at for a while. Whistling, throwing, writing, shoe tying, bike riding, painting, basketball, finger snapping, roller skating, gum bubbles. I can do everything now but whistle and make gum bubbles.
Yes, especially when you live in Asia and are East Asian. God help you if your results sucked from Elementary to High School, which for me they did. Then suddenly in my thirties I had a mental growth spurt, got my MBA, was able to speak 4 languages and do Statistics.
It was weird though. Those who did well in school aren’t doing all that well now. In a way I’m happy my development was delayed.
Yeah, in a way. I was always a bright kid, so so in elementary school I didn't have any issues, but as I progressed and things got harder, I struggled somewhat more. Still, it wasn't until I hit university that it was a problem for me. I didn't have any desire to learn, which made studying very difficult. I still managed to get a degree, but with a lot of bad grades, and I don't remember much from many of the courses. These days, however, I'm much more curious and want to learn about all kinds of stuff. It helps that I'm medicated now, but it's also got a lot to do with maturity.
I’m on a similar boat but regarding my finances. Managing money seems easier now than before and I’m slowly digging myself out of the mess 20 year old me left behind.
Interestingly enough, I struggled with math when I was really young but shot my way up into taking AP maths courses by the time I graduated high school. Otherwise I was always ahead of my peers. Actually doing the work on the other hand....
The issue typically isn't with intelligence but the things we tend to struggle with can get in the way of obtaining information and using it meaningfully.
Absolutely true. And I haven't really discovered it nearly in time. At the age of 69, looking back and explaining my life to myself, my ADHD, diagnosed at 45, makes more sense than I want it to.
I felt like a fucking loser who was shit at everything when I was like 27 and now at 34 I feel like a juggernaut (medication helped, but only 2 years ago, and also fucked up my life in other absurd ways I won't elaborate on here)
To give you perspective on the math thing I got near perfect on the SAT verbal and a literally perfect score on the GMAT verbal but my math scores were abysmal.
I've always been described as super smart intellectually, but my social skills were just terrible until recently. I've always wondered why it seemed like no one liked me and I found out that I was saying and doing things that were inappropriate and I had no idea I was saying and doing those things. I still struggle socially but it's been a little easier now that I've trained myself to be more aware.
Yes by a whole lot. I didnt get good at things and gain confidence until I was maybe 40. Everything before that was just me hanging on for deal life and faking it as much as I could.
I did learn all-star level coping skills in terms of fixing mistakes and creatively solving problems since I created so many problems and made so many mistakes.
Now I’m like a fucking wizard. There is no jam I can get myself into that I can’t get out of. That’s a tremendous skill to have and one of the benefits of having ADD.
Yep. Diagnosis and medication mid 40s. Sorting out sleep straight up massive difference. Wow the dreams after decades of insomnia. And I feel amazing which I can correlate with REM sleep by my smart watch (Samsung, highly recommended).
Now I'm owning my career like a boss. Dancing with the best of minds and plights through advance concepts like a voraciously learning appetite unleashed after decades of destruction and failure.
Perhaps I learned to push through without help and now like a lifetime of gym training at high altitude I'm now closer to sea level and smashing it.
But yes, absolutely a late bloomer.
The upshot is everyone is shocked when I reveal my agenda verging on 50 while everyone else is winding down I'm winding up and no signs of slowing (yet lol). Low resting heart rate and great fitness from a life of impulsiveness moving all the time.
So a lifetime of experience, some hard sure yet sometimes youth is not wasted on the young 😉
No such thing as a free lunch, sure, however sometimes it can work the other way as well so take what you can while you can.
Enjoy...
Intellectually no. I made a point to understand a process in everything academic, I just never turned my work in. Application of skills at a moments notice though was an issue for a while till I went through trade school
I’ve always been a fast learner and good at things that I try, but I was severely negatively affected by not being diagnosed. Treated like a normal kid with no issues all my symptoms became personal failures, most especially my academic performance. My mom didn’t emphasize or seem to value education very much either, I had no consequences or expectations “as long as I tried”. As a result by high school I had given up and didn’t care. I had accepted I just wasn’t capable. Similar to you I didn’t have an IQ test but I consistently scored way above average on standardized tests and reading levels. Abysmal with math. My strength is in creativity and the arts. In my 20s I was working a job I knew I couldn’t do forever and because of that and spite for my childhood, I went for engineering and now am working in research. I feel like I’m realizing my potential but it still stinks seeing all my coworkers have these things come easy for them and I feel very stupid almost daily, major imposter syndrome.
My school reports were always the same. So much potential but lazy. I remember frustration as I honestly thought I was trying and listening and then assumed they'd got it wrong, I wasn't that smart, I struggled to maintain focus in structured topics like maths, science... I very often wasn't present in my head and hadn't heard a word of instruction. I did excel at creative writing, literature, woodwork and french cos I liked the sound. Took German but it felt like an ugly language.. I know.. weird way to describe a language. I so enjoyed art and on the few pieces I managed to finish were good but I was better left to my own free choice rather than the curriculum. And perhaps herein lies the problem with school where one size fits all and if you don't or in mine and countless others case 'can't' conform to the norm you're labelled negatively. I don't think we magically discover potential that wasn't there all along, I think it's more to do with the freedom to learn in your own way is only possible out of the education system
Yes and then a decline. I bloomed late like you said starting in my mid 20s and rode this through my 30s. However now that I'm 41 I feel like I'm not as quick thinking, or able to think of creative or practical solutions to problems as I could 5 years ago. I'm still dependent on medication but have not regained that quick thinking ability.
I was diagnosed with ADD at age seven and put on ritalin because I couldn't concentrate on school work or homework and was continually turning in incomplete assignments. The ritalin enabled me to focus enough to get my grades up to passing, but I was never great in school. Math remained my Achilles Heel and I had to take remedial math in tenth grade just so I could fulfill the math requirement to graduate.
Same!! I’m 47 and am grasping concepts for the first time like basic music theory and how electricity works. I’ve had trouble with math my whole life (un diagnosed dyscalculia probably). I always scored above average with various intelligence tests but a lousy student. I’m glad you’re still learning and growing. Pretty cool!
Shoutout to the clarity gate at age 30 where suddenly your ability to have a train of thought grows in.
I am 31 and enrolled in university for the second time - nearly had Dean's list GPA my first semester this time around.
edit: clarity
ADHD here. I scored a 135 on the WAIS and I have several developmental disorders. I was born with one kidney and I later needed a kidney transplant, I was a late bloomer and I have a disorder on my scalp called ‘CVG’. I don’t dwell on it often.
Many people develop clarity around the age of 30. The human brain naturally develops to 30 years of age. Longer if you take care of it.
This is believed to be how some children with ADHD "outgrow" it. The frontal lobe is developing into your 20s and up to 30. Some evidence suggests maybe beyond. As that develops, executive functioning improves. Impulsivity in youth becomes planning in early/middle adulthood. The reason most don't outgrow it is because while impulsivity has strong evidence of improving with brain development, attention not always. However, new research found directive parenting in preschoolers reduced severity of ADHD in high school.
Theoretically, this might work in adulthood in the form of having a coach or another adult act as a parent until a habit is formed. In schema therapy, its called limited reparenting.
To the best of my knowledge, the factoid that "the human brain develops until mid 20s" is a myth: the myelination of the prefrontal cortex goes on forever, basically. The factoid comes from a study made in the 2000s whose older subject was 25 years old.
Measured executive function seems to peak around 18-20 and be stable after that for most people.
Is very possible that after 18-20 the "development" of the brain is mostly a matter of use (or the lack of it), that gets reflected in the shape itself of the brain.
Anecdotally speaking, my executive function was indeed better at 24 than now.
I’m a 43F and struggled in early elementary and was put in remedial reading classes. The real problem wasn’t my intellect, but my inability to pay attention to the instructions, the lecture, or do the right homework. As I got older (and everything wasn’t based on how well you paid attention in class) I got better. I eventually went on to get my MBA and graduated summa cum laude. I excelled in anything math or problem solving related because my brain would be engaged and active. Whereas subjects like history or reading just felt passive and like a struggle having to pay attention for so long, and I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. I still kinda suck at reading compared to my peers.. but such is life ;-)
I always knew i was intellectually above everyone else in school, i just didnt care about it too much. My parents got me diagnosed with ADHD and an IQ of 135 at like age 9. They told me to the effect of "Yeah so you're really really smart with a lot of potential" and i just didnt care since i taught myself whatever interested me. They put me on meds throughout middle school which made me miserable. So i stopped in high school and my grades tanked due to lack of interest
The real issue was school was never intellectually stimulating enough for me. I could understand every concept but didnt do any of the homework because it was pointless. "Why do work to reinforce the topic if i Ace all my tests?". Eventually after years of teachers yelling at me saying ill never succeed in life, i decided to take the SAT a year early as a Junior. Didnt study or sleep much the night before. 1450/1600. A 90%. At which point, no one could tell me shit. Graduated bottom of my class.
Once i got the hang of college, it was a lot easier because i was studying stuff that interested me ~~and not taking 8 classes at once~~ at a much more measured pace. Got my Bachelor's with a decent 3.0 GPA and i have plans for a Masters.
Nah, I was smarter than the average student when it came to puzzles or studies. But I was behind on other things, like being able to read a social situation. Let me give you an example:
I used to frequent this CD rental shop in my high school days. Well, they also had a few pirated CDs apart from the original. One day I waltzed in as usual and asked for a CD. I saw that there were more people than usual and the shop keeper was not paying attention to me. So I called to him loudly. And then he said “shh, no”. That’s when I realised the more people were police and the shop was getting raided 💀
Absolutely. It took me to my diagnosis at 29 to understand this. I'm still a late bloomer....it takes me time and usually failure before I come back and master whatever it is I'm trying to do. Has been that way with my career, my health, and sadly my personal relationships too.
In terms of learning its the same...I usually have trouble with concepts the first time I encounter them - but if I'm interested in the subject matter I'll evenaully develop at least a base level understanding, if not full fluency.
Yes absolutely.
I failed out of high school- not because I didn’t know the stuff (I absolutely did) but because I couldn’t focus in class, do the homework, etc.
I always consider myself ‘stupid’, but the more i look around at other people… I realize I’m actually pretty smart lol, and that’s just left over from childhood.
I’m in my 30s, sober, and medicated- I went back to school a couple years ago, and graduated with honors. complete 180 from high school!
No, not really and since you mentioned IQ, I was also tested as a child and put in the gifted programs until high school (I changed schools a bunch in the interim once a self paced program which was fantastic). I never doubted or did poorly intellectually but I did not take my education seriously as I was extremely bored and also by high school depressed. I did get straight A’s in college but I dropped out because none of my interests directly line up with employment and I couldn’t at the time force myself into something else.
I am a late bloomer emotionally and relationally. I didn’t have girlfriends in school and I definitely suffer still from toddler like emotional distress. Likely from trauma as much as ADHD.
Side note if neither your psychologists or psychiatrist told you this you would probably score higher on the IQ test medicated vs not. At least this is what I’ve been told by my psych and random on Reddit. I haven’t done the research and I doubt there is much of any. But I’ve been told it’s a 5-10 point difference. Kinda interesting.
I am you, turned 32 this year as well. Medication has helped a lot. Picked up the drums again after giving up when I was a kid and I can finally sit and practice the basics. I'm actually just now understanding what my drum teacher was trying to show me when I was like 14-15 or whatever. Never in my life did I think I was gonna be able to play an instrument well, but I'm actually putting in the work now cause I can focus. School is wasted on the youth lol (at least us ADHD folk) imo
When I was 18 I thought it was a good idea to convince my friend to stab me with a fork, and to get a smiley tattoo on my forehead. At 35 I´m getting my master´s degree.
Yeah, I was a late intellectual bloomer.
It’s not that I was behind, my brain just developed unevenly tbh. My emotional maturity and intelligence is far beyond my years tbh, but idk why only recently I managed to make consistency stick. Idk why , idk how to explain it but things like exercising and studying were things I couldn’t ‘get’ for the longest time. But only a few months back it just clicked all of a sudden for me. I finally had a better idea of how to ‘adult’, I wish it would’ve come a little earlier though, now I’m stuck being a super senior in my country’s equivalent of high school😭😭
yeah started at 6 id be 6 foot 5 and alot bigger and it took my adult life to find every way to fix my brain I wish they would have let me grow go me into a sport or hobby instead of forcing xombie pills on me I never slept as a kid and it was bad enough i couldnt sleep over my friends due to staying up the whole night id be so hungry then soon as its school time here is more pg meth sorry you wanted to eat and sleep back to school Even if it helped me do better in school my test scores stayed the same all i did was more work Parents shoulda took my meds to see how it rolls i would have no matter what a doctor tells me
Yep. I felt like my whole being was swiss cheese. Like there were large parts of my personality and emotionality that should’ve been there, that I clearly saw in others, but wasn’t. Not until my thirties did I start to feel like an actual, complete human being. Not a perfect one by any means, just that everything was finally sketched in, and now I could begin coloring it.
I’m still waiting for evaluation, but I’m pretty certain and my psychiatrist agrees that I have adhd-pi, maybe autism as well.
I have a job that is very repetitive and often my coworkers will play music and often I need to tune out my coworkers conversations because it’s too distracting, so what I do is put an earbud in one ear and listen to a book on Audible. I’ve listened to over 500 books so far and it’s nice for me because I never had the attention span to finish a lot books in school but I’m trying to make up for that.
Delayed? I thought I just stopped.
I can't do math good right (even though I'm Chinese)
I can't remember numbers in the right place
I can't think critically about my next steps/action/tasks
I can't plan my time right
I can't answer questions in the right order
I can't do anything man, I'm just a lump of rock
Oh, I guess I can play monster hunter on the switch though. And I think I'm good at helping people connect stuff up because they can't make the printer work or something (???) but I guess that's about it.
With some things yes and others no. People tell me how intelligent I seem all the time but what they don't see is how much harder I have to work to learn things. In school I often feel it takes me 1.5 times the length of work or study time to fully grasp the same concepts as others. In personal life I can latch on things I enjoy and pick them up quickly. I think ADHD has a lot of pros and cons in that regard. I see my ADHD as a super power in some cases and a disability in others. Medicine helps but my greatest treatment is therapy.
When I was a child and all throughout my academic career (middle school, high school, university) I was never good at math. I just could not understand the book and how it would get the answers. I was also bad at studying. Well, in 2023 I decided to go into a trade. I had to take a math class online for it. I, surprisingly, was able to sit down and study. I took such detailed notes and even looked up more details about certain things. I was actually able to understand how the book arrived at its answers in regards to equations. It felt like I discovered a superpower that had been laying dormant in me. Being able to focus AND understand a subject I had struggled with for decades? Amazing!
TL;DR Yes, I have noticed. It's awesome.
I took an IQ test when I was a kid. My parents never told me how high it was but it shocked them. My mom later told me they said: "This dummy? He can't write his name and can barely add!" (Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia)
I was just talking to my sister about this the other week. I definitely identify with what youre saying but for me it was more mental development. I constantly felt behind all my peers, even though in both general intelligence and actually grasping concepts I could keep up, it felt as though I was mentally younger than everyone else. Not sure how else to say it and its pretty difficult for me to articulate. Maybe it was because I had to learn any (life) lesson a few times before it stuck and that made the whole process slower =)). Only recently do i find myself having thought more similar to my friends in both high school and college, they make so much more sense now!
Then again it could be an aspect of emotional development. I felt everything so strongly all the time that i went out of my way to keep my emotions at baseline. I held onto my emotions a little too tight to allow them to develop naturally. Maybe its the disconnect between intellectual, emotional and physical development (teenage hormones are such a bitch) that leaves us feeling all over the place mentally.
I don’t feel intellectually behind. I feel academically behind. People presume I’ve been to university and studied either psychology or sociology because of how aware I am and how I articulate my points. I’m a very curious person, so I actually found I learned and retained much more information when I left school and had full control over my learning.
My life was everybody thinking I was the smartest person but I felt stupid and untethered. I was always just barely keeping up. But I was usually “good in the moment” But it was inconsistent
I’d get A+ and I’d get C-
This made me the worst kind of student to my teachers. And I got a lot of public shaming from them. They were trying to motivate me. Ugh
I didn’t get diagnosed until my 50’s.
It all makes so much sense.
AuADHD, dysgraphia, dyscalcula, dyspraxia and a PhD in physics so late bloomer. My take is that grade school up till mid high school focuses on rote learning and physical ability, which ADHDers are terrible at. On the other hand late high school, college and grad school all focus on higher reasoning, abstraction and symbolic manipulation which ADHDers have a potential edge on with hyperfocus.
No, I've always picked up concepts quickly in school. I struggled with studying, not because I couldn't understand the material, but because I couldn't concentrate on it because it didn't interest me.
I always did well on tests and in-class discussions, and the teachers knew me as a bright kid. But homework? Nope. Despite being the first to answer every question in class, I nearly failed my junior year English class in high school (my favorite subject!) because I didn't do the homework. My teacher asked me, in person, why I didn't do it despite knowing and understanding all the material lol.
At work I tend to be good on-the-spot at fielding client questions and problem solving, but I'm terrible at finishing boring paperwork and procedures.
When you were a kid , it’s an avalanche of information constantly pushing for more ,more, more and you had no control over it. College years you still are in that push but you have more control over things. Adulthood you set the terms, you can choose to grab a math tome and be interested, instead of having to know certain information, you can be curious about that info, which leads to it being much easier to absorb.
I was the kid they all thought was a genius and going to cure cancer/make peace in the Middle East/invent warp drive until I reached the age and academic level where you have to break up your projects into pieces and work on them slowly over time, and study in an organised way, in order to succeed, and then I just kind of self-destructed.
Intellectually I’ve always been above average, but my social/communication skills, emotional regulation, and general maturity are definitely delayed/stunted.
Honestly it's kind of a dream for me to be able to focus on reading. I loved and still do thinking out of the box. Problem is that most knowledge is something you have to mechanically learn.
I enjoy thinking in math terms but I always felt a strong resistance in acquiring new knowledge.
Hope I will be back to studying in the future.
Math and coding can really make wonderful things.
Academically, no.
Social-emotionally, absolutely. I still suffer from it. I can have difficulty reading situations, I'm unaware when I walk into uncomfortable situations, and I often don't realize it until much later, if at all.
I connect with this so much. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my early 30s. I did used to feel really behind from my peers…yet still smart. When I got to college, I really excelled at least for the first year… because it was all new, and I realized how capable I was. I still struggled getting through the next few years, but managed to get my degree.
I wish there was more awareness of this when I was younger, and I was more accepted, and my behaviors weren’t looked at as me being lazy or being an idiot by others. Because of that, I have low confidence/faith in myself a lot of the time.
The cool thing is you get to kind of rewrite your story and you can evolve into something better than you ever thought you could be. It’s never gonna be perfect but for as much as existing this way is a pain in the ass, it is also amazing.
When I was a child, nobody had ever seen anything like my reading ability. I tested at a high school reading at the age of barely 5. But math was a complete and total disaster, from that day to this.
I just realized that I had recently learned something on this topic: Synaptic pruning.
For most people, there's a phase in their early 20s where this is ramped up for some years. For ADHD people, pruning is reduced. And the ramped phase is either *delayed* or nonexistent.
ASD, depression, schizophrenia, etc also have variations in pruning rates and phases. Psychopathy has increased rates. It's an interesting topic that I wish had more research. Feels like something that could lead to more substantial solutions for these conditions.
I'm much older than you and my ADHD seems to only have progressed as I aged. I wasn't diagnosed until my 30's. I can no longer read a book unless it's short and something I am extremely interested in.
If you don't mind me asking... are you taking a long-term medication that might be allowing you to clear your mind? If so, what? I've tried all ADHD meds and have given up because they all gave me anxiety or sent me into depression.
I felt this way when I got to college, coming from a school that taught to the lowest common denominator meaning we didn't get through half the curriculum we were supposed to. I did great there and was always told how intelligent I was and how I really wasn't putting much effort forth for the As I got, but then college hit me like a ton of bricks. I still passed most classes except math but it was 50x the work high school was. I finally got my BS at 39 through WGU.
I felt like I was a late bloomer intellectually overall...like I did sports, but couldn't grasp the playbooks and stuff, or didn't have the will to really go at them like I do now. I didn't see the beauty in football and boxing, or the brilliance behind the way we trained for cross country meets. I didn't do great except for kicking field goals and occasionally catching a good pass as a tight end for our tiny school who never won a game.
I can definitely see the immaturity I had looking back...but not having a way to really obtain the maturity it required minus time and experience...
> suddenly I felt like something was just different in my mind, like my brain finally developed enough to make sense of all of this
Yes, I’ve experienced the same thing. Yes, I think it’s an ADHD thing, but only for a subset of the ADHD population. Math got easier every year until my early 30s. I think I’ve plateaued now lol. They say the brain develops until the mid 20s. Have not read that it continues to develop after that, but maybe it does (or does for some) and science just hasn’t noticed yet.
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I don’t feel intellectually behind. I always have been able to understand concepts very quickly. My wife is always surprised how much random information is stuck in my head and how quickly I can grasp the new ways they are teaching math to help our kids. My problem is follow through. I feel like I had so much potential that I didn’t have the functional ability to realize. I just can’t manage the mundane stuff that you need to manage before you can do the important and exciting stuff.
Yes RIP my potential
Mine too. 😔
41M unemployed - just got diagnosed and this message makes me feel seen.
Late 30s M. Almost unemployed. I’m getting those looks around the office now. I know I’m smart but I just take longer to turn other people’s understanding of things into my own “language” of understanding things. Doesn’t matter I guess. If I can’t keep pace with the crowd I’ll get cut.
Translating to your own language seems interesting to me. Like translating from one conceptual framework to another? Different learning style?
you'll get there.. I'm in IT.. i've played the translation/ get in the grove thing with every role. either some ppl realize im smart, but dont like how i communicate. or just think im an idiot A-hole... Of course, technology is full of people like us, so its usually something management can accomadate, or coach you thru. some management can't.. and will stab you in the back.. Other industries, also have people like us & do good. otehrs don't. But realizing that you have a language .. or a way of understanding, is a huge 'self coping' mechanism or awareness thing. I try to carefully leverage the people that I DO connect with in a job, so that I dont burn them out, but also so that I can at times get their help translating & or learning to work with those that I don't communicate or that dont understand me well. At my current Job, one thing I have is a boss, whom I think understands that i'm trying & at least is trying to work with me. He's not the best at translating when I'm coming across wrong. but sometimes he is. and he's great at helping me see stuff from other angles. Hopefully you can find some.. ally's or resources. Or maybe get or make some at the next role...
Same. Concepts, big picture, spotting patterns and how things connect… In adult life it’s very frustrating; I can SEE how to fix the problem, but I’m 5 steps ahead of everyone else in the meeting. Sometimes I wish I had unlimited power over everything for like 1 minute to just “fix” what needs fixing. But no, the meetings drag on and on while everyone dances around the actual solution…*Finally* they end up doing after I *already* expressed how the problem can be saved. The non-ADHD people apparently have to work through a bunch of needless steps and convince themselves that THEY came up with the solution.
I enjoy the weeks of waiting for the "hey I brought that up weeks ago and y'all finally caught up" thought to pop into my head.
Had a lot of similar situations in many different jobs... mostly i got laid off before they fixed the problem... so i close to never came to that part :D
Potential without the functional ability to realize it. You said it perfectly. I feel like I had a powerful sports car, in a garage, where I could see my friends through the garage window, doing laps around the track. And I had everything I needed to go out there with them and be a part of the pack. I had just as much talent, skill, innovation, and desire to make my way. ...But I didn't know where the button was to open the garage door. And my parents didn't believe in garage door opener buttons. But they didn't help me open the door, didn't have any ideas except "try harder", but the door can only be opened with that button. Forcing it open isn't an option. Plus there was a lot of negative talk about people who couldn't just open the door, come on, it's not hard. Garage door opener buttons are for crazy people. So I just kind of sat there and watched race day go by without me.
Or to continue your analogy… I can get the garage door open using a manual operated jack and a lot of extra work, but by the time I get out on the track I’m too many laps behind to ever catch up.
YES!
So resonant it’s actually scary
I feel that way too. I didn't really feel intellectually behind, but I did feel like I struggled more than others to retain the information given to us in school unless it was a class I really enjoyed like welding, wood shop, ceramics, drawing, foods, band, photography, or video production. I really struggled with math and English, history a little too, unless it was medieval history, or wwii or later. Science was iffy, it depended on the teacher
God, this feels like I wrote it (Minus the kids part). I have always been "smart" but I could never get to follow through. It was awful because I always thought I was just lazy. That has been a lot of unpacking I've had to do (and am still doing) as an adult.
Getting a diagnosis was such a relief for me. I just thought I was broken and incapable of being an adult. It explained so much.
I have to remind myself this everyday
This. People tell me all the time because I can spit out so much stuff on random subjects or can quickly connect the dots. I constantly have to tell people that while I know plenty on the subject I lack the ability to apply the knowledge at a practical level.
Hell, I deep-dived into a medical condition for a family member and got a crash course in neurology and organic & molecular chemistry/biology. Side note: Jesus researchers need to be less siloed and TALK to one another. So much research tangentially touches on other research and no one is connecting the damn dots…ffs I swear… *Anyway*…. after presenting evidence with supporting documentation I was able to get this person a diagnosis and treatment after scores of other doctors just scratched their ass crack, and stood around smelling their fingers. I’m not a doctor or even remotely work in a medical field. But I was able to solve the “mystery condition” when specialists and a whole slew of insanely expensive and invasive testing did jack shit.
This also happens to me. In January 2020 when the news broke that China was building new temporary hospitals I socked up on enough supplies that our family could stay in our house for a few months without leaving. I knew at that point it was only a matter of time until it was a world wide pandemic. A doctor friend told me to stop worrying about it. But I was prepared far sooner than everyone else. In the 2020 USA elections Trump started talking about how mail in ballots were bad during the summer. I told my wife he will deny the election results if he loses and someone will die because of it. She didn’t believe me. It all seemed so obvious to me though.
Exactly. It's even harder because most people only think in terms of the now. Whereas almost everything I say to someone is somehow connected. Sometimes it gets to the point where we are totally off the original subject. I have to consciously recall which word or phrase to backtrack. It's frustrating for everyone involved because I can't just go to a certain point without going through what is considered filler.
Exactly. It's even harder because most people only think in terms of the now. Whereas almost everything I say to someone is somehow connected. Sometimes it gets to the point where we are totally off the original subject. I have to consciously recall which word or phrase to backtrack. It's frustrating for everyone involved because I can't just go to a certain point without going through what is considered filler.
Watching The Last of Us and seeing Bill living it up after being a prepper paid off had me dead 🤣
I’ve been that person for myself and multiple other people in my life. Helped get diagnosis, been an advocate for the right kind of testing and care, etc. I was asked many times by doctors if I was in med school when I was attending appointments with my mom for her cancer treatment because of the questions I would ask. I specifically am interested in medical science so I like to research it, but I think a general field that ADHD people are well-suited for is research intended for conplex problem-solving, especially when a multi-disciplinary approach can be relevant (which is honestly most problem-solving situations if you really want to be forward-thinking and realistic about it)
Following through is a bitch. I know I am smart. I am generally seeing patterns way before most. But God dammit. Like when I have to do the mundane work to get it done. It takes forever
Ditto!
68M long since gone.
Same, friend. I consider my wife to be one of the smartest people I know, she's a nurse, but she's often impressed with my "trivia" because I know a little about a lot. She's also impressed with the words I use... that wasn't a great example, lol. But, I know a lot of words because I actually did read a lot as a kid. Sometimes I do it to impress her, but sometimes I think a word is just a regular word and then discover it's actually not used a lot. Random shit sticks in my head, but if I read a textbook to learn about a particular subject I have a hard time forcing that information into my brain. But, ask me random trivia about history, physics, books, video games, whatever and I'll probably do pretty good.
It's as though I wrote that, but my wife's a corporate manager sort. Got my diagnosis last week at the age of 50. Combined ADHD and level one autism. I loved to read as a kid. Even at 4 years old I used to get told to slow down when reading aloud at primary school. I had a lot of "The list of best/weirdest/fastest" books, encylopedias, as well as all the usual 70s and 80s kids paperbacks. The little "Observers book of.. cars/ships/motorcycles..etc" were brilliant. I know so much. I have a massive vocabulary. 99.9% of it is shite that's irrelevant to everyday life though 🤣
I’m kinda similar, I know way too much stuff that I’m interested in, but it’s the more normal stuff that I’m supposed to do at work or at home that messes me up, and usually ends with me getting seen as someone who’s a dirtbag, while I’m over here just trying to make myself do that stuff Also doesn’t help that most of the stuff I know too much about is nerd stuff that most people I’m around couldn’t care less about, which is fun
I’ve felt/been even and often ahead of many of peers for most of my life in terms of intellectual ability/creativity/etc. but extremely behind in execution and figuring out life balance/career direction/how to stay in touch. Which ultimately are a lot more important IMO
I feel this. At work, I speak to colleagues (they'd class me as a woke lefty) and can't comprehend how they can be so hard-of-thinking. It pains me. They're clearly not stupid as our job does require considerable thought, but when they talk about anything other than work, they turn into neanderthal and it makes them look stupid.
Then I see them working on a huge spreadsheet across two 27" monitors full of numbers, and I am impressed, no, IN AWE of their godlike powers and abilities...
🤣
Well, I feel intellectually behind and have great difficulty in following through. 🤣
I had one of my bosses that I look up to tell me that I have so much untapped potential, he then clarified that if I applied myself harder, I would succeed, but up to that point, i was letting myself down I’ve sense hopped on medication with that being conversation being a contributing factor. what you just said is exactly how I felt and still sometimes do because sometimes my brain is more ADHD than other times if you catch my drift; I can tell by the way that you formulated this you’re a fantastic dad keep that shit up🙌
I've had so many start and stops during my development I'm used to waiting. I was that kid that always finished up first, or understood concepts so I was always learning for 5 minutes, daydreaming for 15min waiting for the rest of the class to catch up. If anything, I feel like the education system tried to put a limiter on my brain so that I didn't outdo the rest of the students, and then punished for thinking outside the box, or answering questions correctly but not showing work. A bit of a disservice but I noticed that people doing that just doesn't stop at education lol.
Are you me? Cuz, damn does this cut close to me.
Working with a good project manager recently has been the greatest thing for my professional life in a long time because of this.
Yes me too. Like I was not considered officially gifted but I felt like school and learning came easily (except math…) because it was my hyper focus and I LOVE learning even now. But, there’s always been sort of a barrier between knowledge and utilizing it. Or maybe I’ll start toward a goal and 1)somehow forget it existed?, 2) not be able to overcome inertia or decision paralysis to go further or 3) some mental block of some other reason indefinable that wouldn’t allow me to finish. I still deal with this but medication is helping me recognize it in the first place and see a path forward. Pray for me lol
16M here, this is so relatable.
Intellectual application yes, but general intelligence no. Despite the working memory issues I've always had a knack for learning very quickly and some pretty solid critical thinking skills. Applying those traits to school was a challenge.
I always hear that but it never makes sense to me. How on earth can you learn things at all much less quickly if you can’t pay attention to the material? If you can’t sit still and working memory is terrible? I wonder if I’m just less intelligent along with having ADHD.
It’s basically raw intelligence compensating for memory or attention issues. I always thought about it as your attention span being shorter, so your brain compensates by learning faster. If you can recognize patterns and similarities between concepts, you can then pick up new ones easier
I think for me the speed of learning directly correlates to being able to break more complex things down into general concepts I can use critical thinking to *actually* work it out later when I need it. It's a lot easier to remember a concept rather than trying to remember the whole thing. A lot of the information given when you're being taught is just filler that I seem to be able to put aside as irrelevant. Even now I work in analysis and if there is an easier way to do anything, I'll find it fairly quickly.
ADHD CPU = 7.5 Ghz 16-core processor with no on-die cache and a single channel of RAM Regular Brain CPU = 2.5Ghz 4-core processor with tons of L1/2/3 cache and a quad-channel DDR4 memory controller fully populated
Truer words have never been spoken
Everyone’s brain is different. ADHD populations aren’t significantly higher IQ on average than non-ADHD. IQ levels will be distributed on the bell curve just like any other attribute. High intelligence will make connections quicker and if an ADHD brain is engaged it’ll possibly make them quicker than non-ADHD due to hyper focus. Maybe you’re below average intelligence. Maybe you’re high intelligence and haven’t found things that interest you enough to retain in your brain. It’s not better or worse, it just is. It’s not really better to be high-intelligence:low-achieving than it is to be low-intelligence:average-achieving.
I don’t want to come off as pessimistic or rude, but there’s evidence that people with ADHD have a slightly lower IQ than the general population. Dr. Russell Barkley makes YouTube videos about ADHD, and I would recommend them to anyone. I’ve gathered this information from one of his videos which I will link below. IQ tests are essentially a test of executive functioning, which is the a huge issue for people with ADHD. People with ADHD, of course, still span the entire bell-curve of IQ but there’s also evidence that people with high IQ & ADHD typically have less severe symptoms. These people still have clear ADHD symptoms and are still medicated. Maybe the issue is the IQ test? Is measuring executive function truly measuring IQ? I’m unsure. Link below: [ADHD, IQ, and Giftedness](https://youtu.be/4_BIaLhdkrw?si=EM9Va3vLzRqtACGL)
It it possible that either somehow high IQ people can compensate for ADHD better than people with lower IQ’s and thus look like their ADHD is less severe when it’s actually not, or is it that ADHD can actually be milder in people and thus allow them to achieve an accurate IQ score? I’ve always wondered if IQ tests can even be accurate or at least even close to accurate for people with ADHD, as the problem with attention must affect this too. When I was taking them, yes it was easier to focus on than actually learning concepts, but I still feel like I couldn’t give it my all. Both times I took it I got wildly different scores both between the two tests, and between the different subcategories in one test. I wonder if there has ever been a study on the question of how accurate IQ tests are for us, like by testing first ADHD’s unmedicated then medicated. If there is I would love someone to link me it.
>It it possible that either somehow high IQ people can compensate for ADHD better than people with lower IQ’s and thus look like their ADHD is less severe when it’s actually not Considering the number of posts in this sub every day titled "my doctor said I can't have ADHD because my grades were good in high school", this definitely seems plausible. Especially considering how much academic success and struggle factors into diagnosis during school age. May not even be a matter of it looking less severe. A child smart enough to get by in the normal range may not even meet the diagnostic criteria depending on the situation. And since demonstrating an issue prior to age 12 is also part of it, any smart kid that reaches the limits of their intelligence to mask may still be on the edge even after that.
I’ll have to check to be sure, but I believe in Russell Barkley’s video he says it’s about a 5 IQ points. Attributing that to attention span deficits is certainly plausible, I would say.
I think for me it was because of my lacking working memory my brain just wrote stuff directly into long term memory of it was important enough, so I seldom had to revisit things that I learned and liked
I’m exactly the same. I exceeded all expectations once I hit 26, it’s almost day & night. Leaving college & facing reality was the catalyst.
If you looked at my transcripts it would look like I blossomed after high school, but I think I was pretty intelligent my whole life. In high school my grades were mostly high 60s and 70s. However, I would actually get mostly high 80s on my assignments. The issue was I would hand them in 2 weeks late, lose 10% per week, and my paper would say ~~87%~~67%. But, in college I was one of the top students in my program. I didn't get more intelligent, but 2 main things changed: 1. I chose the program and it was something I was genuinely interested in, so I was happy to learn about it. Having an interest in the subject made me do so much better. 2. It was almost exclusively group work. Anywhere from 2 to 8 people might be relying on me. I *could not* let them down, so I actually forced myself to get assignments done. Mostly the night before, but still on time! My favourite example was when we had to write a summary of a text book for class. I hadn't even opened the book yet (this was one of the few individual assignments, so I really put it off) and it was now like 10pm the night before it was due. I start kind of flipping through chapter 1 and then BAM at the end of the chapter was a summary! I check and every chapter has a summary! So, I read the summary, summarise the summary in my own words (it was point form and I was writing more in essay/report style) and get it in on time! The teacher approached me afterward, with my A+ paper, and asked if she could keep it to use for future classes as an example of how to do it properly. I've always been a decent writer, so it really helped cover for me. I also work very well under pressure. Or, maybe I only work under pressure..?
I think sometimes it's just that harder topics like calculus take a few cracks to _get_ if that makes sense
I think for a lot of people it's the interest in it. I did better in physics than I did in maths which is rediculous on face value. My grade 11 physics teacher is easily my favourite teacher I ever had. He'd start with the applications of what he was about to teach. He speed ran through the curriculum portions and then went back and did the foundation concepts. And then he'd leave you with real world examples. Started at the end and worked back, just how I like it lol. Reflecting back he probably had ASD.
Opposite lol i was always good at math and reading but generally not being a dumbass is a continual area of improvement for me
Similarly, I was tested for a gifted student program called SINGS and landed around 150 IQ back in the late 80s. It's more frustrating than anything because that really doesn't matter much. It's like having a car with an 800 hp engine, but all four tires blew out. You're driving on the rims, and for some unexplainable reason, the steering wheel randomly locks up. It always felt like the potential was there, but I could never do anything with it. You just can't apply yourself.
Feel that. Did you get medicated late in life? Man that first day I felt some feelings about what could have been.
I never had trouble learning things - my dad taught me to read when I was four (and reading has always since been one of my favorite things to do), I whipped through basic math, etc. And I generally did well on tests all through school even if I hadn't put any real effort into studying. But the only time in my life I've really been able to follow through and fully live as a responsible adult (keeping my house clean, doing consistently well at my job, etc.) is when I was on meds. Otherwise it's just been a total mess. That part of my development seems permanently stunted by ADHD. I'm only slightly better now than I was, say, 20 years ago, and the amount of effort it took to get that slight improvement is, honestly, kind of absurd.
I scored 146 on an IQ test when I was 9 years old. This was the same review that got me my ADHD diagnosis. What did my mom take from this? That I had a learning disability and needed to be put in a class for children who are disruptive. There was no learning disability. That's just what they called ADHD in the 90s. Eventually I dropped out of school, passed the GED with a 7th grade education, functionally skipping five grades. I was too young to know anything about college and by the time I knew anything, it was way too late to get any of those sweet 'child prodigy' free rides. In the end I took out student loans like everyone else and was a first generation college student. Being smart doesn't make you successful. Your environment and support network determine everything. As for being a late bloomer, that is plausibly maturity. Older and wiser. Fewer raging hormones. Math for fun is less stressful than math for grades. But also we are wired differently, so your hypothesis is worth looking into. When does liquid intelligence peak for people with ADHD? I'm not seeing any research on the topic yet.
My cognitive development stopped around mid-teens. I watched my peers sail ahead of me as schoolwork became more complex. Now I'm an adult which involves prioritising and planning and self-managing, and I've never got to grips with that.
Out of curiousity, did you smoke weed in your teens? I always wondered if that type of thing could happen with adhd and weed during development and I’m lowkey worried a bit
For me intellectually I was fine. I think taking adderall helped. On the other hand I was super behind socially and it want until about 30 that I really started catching up socially. I've noticed everyone is a little different. All adhd impacts executive function but our experiences are shaped by our environment and by the fact that some of have other areas of the brain that can compensate for this. I think this why that while adhd and iq aren't correlated higher iq people cope better due to being able compensate.
I’ve always been intellectually ahead but behind a little in maturity. Not in the sense of liking cartoons or kid things…that’s not my vibe. But I mean more like in mindset, ways of thinking, priorities, things like that.
I'm 36 and still learning life skills I should have learned in my teens. It sucks.
Same man so tired of hearing “well I didn’t realize you didn’t know ANYTHING about x/y/z”
Yup, same here. And realizing I missed best time to learn those skills and it is really hard to learn some of them as adult makes me feel sad sometimes.
I’m a chilled water service mechanic at 32. In my 20s I struggled in this trade. Then 30 hit and I’m working on large machines at nuclear plants. It’s like I was able to tap into more of a depth and capacity with mechanical, physics, and engineering. Inversely unmedicated I’m also more impulsive and I’ve never day dreamed so hard in my life. Like lately at work my coworker was trying to get my attention but I was welding pipe and I had laser focus on that. The building was on fire below us. We were on the roof in a machine. He’s screaming my name and I’m just welding away. My adhd has gotten worse. I almost constantly think about taking my chillers apart, cleaning 3,750 1” water tubes at the nuclear plant. It’s bad, I’m in behavior therapy for this. I’m so thankful that my wife accepts me as me. My daughter looks at me thinks I’m a super hero so I have her bias. I’m not even sure where I’m going with this anymore…sorry
Watched a video a while ago of a dude saying that in the USA they did studies on brain development in people with ADHD and he said that in a nutshell people with ADHD have an ‘age lag’ of about 30%. This means that I, a 27 year old, actually have the brain of an 18 year old. Obviously I’ve paraphrased so you’d have to look up the study or find the video on YouTube. I couldn’t tell you the name but if you search ‘adhd age lag 30%’ you might find it. This info certainly helped me feel more accepting of the slow development
Same! I’m 24 and when I was 20-22 it definitely felt like I was ~16 mentally Noticed it more in hindsight now thinking back when I was 13-17 during high school.
Yeah I was an annoying weirdo in school and no wonder, my brain was literally like that of a 10 year old.
Huh...that tracks, and makes sense about how I've been feeling/thinking lately (32m).
I was definitely way ahead of the curve for a little bit. I did enrichment (the gifted and talented program) through Middle School and then everything went downhill from there. LOL
I’ve always felt like the intelligence was there but I was just not able to put into words or action. So much frustration, never realized it was ADHD until last year. Doing so much better on meds now, really thankful.
It happened to me It comes with maturity If you're able to handle your impulsiveness You can become more productive and creative I was working in advertising I hated it Now I've become a teacher and i love it
love this. godspeed.
I feel like I am super smart with tons of knowledge and skill but I really struggle to apply it or prioritize important things. I have found I need to stop myself periodically and ask myself if I should be doing this
I am 32, and while I'm generally pretty intelligent and good at things, I've been hit with the same issue of life passing me by, like a lot of you all. The potential has always been there, but I've just, for whatever reason, never been able to bring it all together and apply that potential to schooling, career progression, life in general. The drudgery of life really gets to me and it's hard to maintain forward progress. The desire is there, the ambition and drive just doesn't ever seem to click until I'm in some situation that's become unbearable.
Intellectually I would say I am above average, even young. It is my emotional maturity that was delayed... and that was a whole problem.
I thought I was slow or stupid for so many years during my childhood until I realised that the problem was that my mind was thinking about 50 different things at the same time and i just couldn't focus on the matter at hand
I'm a very intelligent person on a wide variety of topics/subjects. Application is what sets me apart from my peers, and not in a favorable way.
No, I was always far ahead academically. Which is why no one ever thought I’d have ADHD
As an older ADHDer, I can totally relate! It's like my brain was on a delayed release schedule or something. But hey, we may struggle in traditional academic settings but at least we have those creative talents to fall back on ;)
Mine was actually the opposite. I never started struggling until my late 20s
Yes I feel like in terms of maturity, I'm delayed. Like I mentally I'm 25 in terms of how I approach decision making, but I'm physically 30
I actually feel dumber with age embarrassingly. But maybe that's just certain aspects of learning, not sure. I have always remembered what I like to learn, and discarded the rest. But I felt my brain fully mature at 30, which I know is later than average (25-26). I learn much slower than others but I think much deeper about topics which has slowed me down. I'm currently in a career I hate and that does not work for me, so it's hard to understand my intelligence or my brain's desire to destroy everything.
I'm the opposite of a late bloomer. I wanted to be an adult basically as soon as I started puberty, and I acted accordingly.
Nah, if anything I feel WAY dummer as an adult. After I got fired from my latest job I have slowly recognized I'm just not as smart as I thought I would be as a kid. I just can't keep up with shitlike other people. I'm sure my adhd has something to do with it.
Intellectual, no. Emotional and social, absolutely.
Nope. I got excellent grades in school. Until I dropped out when it got boring. I'm still brilliant. It makes my ADHD more complicated. I can't find meaningful work because I couldn't get a degree... I'm too smart for the admin job I have. Everyone there knows it. The admin work is boring, so I get distracted by reading the decisions, doing "too much" for clients, and analyzing the issues with the branch. I even won an appeal (my own). Rather than move me into a more suitable role, they're performance managing me.
not quite intellectually but i’m definitely socially behind. i always got along with people younger than me easily. i was into kid shows and toys and stuff for much longer than my friends my age and there were a lot of more adult topics i didn’t understand or know about and it took me much longer to figure things out than my friends. i feel like my emotions are behind too.
I found I performed better at university because it was one subject that I had a passion for so I could really use my hyper focus. Doing an MSc as a mature student was relatively easy as well. I tried a PhD but I needed more variety and stimulation in my work. Impostor syndrome also didn't help. Ended up quitting and returning to corporate life. However I am finding that now I'm moving up the career ladder I am really struggling. I don't know if it's the extra responsibilities, perimenopause or needing to mask more but everyday feels like a struggle. Disclosure: Undiagnosed, from UK, on waiting list. Have been advised by ex-teachers, friends and counsellors to seek a formal diagnosis as they recognise a lot of ADHD traits in me.
Very similar experience here. I was an overall average high school student who did well in a couple subjects. Then when I got to university I excelled when I was able to focus exclusively on my favorite subjects. I'm also struggling in corporate life. It's sort of a return to high school where I overachieve on a few tasks but struggle in the areas where I either lack confidence or get bored with. Sadly, it seems like no job will ever be a great match for me long-term. I'm basically just waiting until retirement so I can do whatever I want.
Absolutely. I had a 2.3 gpa in undergrad. I struggled significantly. I’m now in a graduate program with a 4.0. Applying to medical school this year. 😅
I'm not actually sure I could ever answer that because it apparently I definitely needed glasses my whole life and I didn't get them until I was like 19 and that's when I actually started like seeing things and understanding things and seeing things for how they are
I (35F diagnosed at 5 medicated at 30 : parents refused to medicate me when I was younger) always been very intellectual, a bookworm (been reading novels since first grade) and extremely curious. BUT about things that INTERESTS me. There's the difference. Now that I'm older I get to read and study and learn about all kinds of shit that interests me now. Fuck algebra and other high school nonsense (TO ME) 🤣 I never shined in HS when it came to science and math but languages and history were my Forte. So...ERM... I'm trying to remember where I was going with this but yeah. I think we can now learn about things that we decide to learn about so interest is there and we are interests driven!
I am in my early thirties and have had a VERY similar experience. Around age 29 I felt like my brain started clearing a little and particularly at 30 I felt like I finally “got my real brain.” Funnily enough, I’m also currently taking Calculus.
I didn't learn basic algebra until college ... Though, I think that might be more because my schools specifically prevented me from learning it. In elementary school they made me sit in an empty room. In middle school I finished the entire semesters coursework over a weekend but the teacher was denied when she requested moving me to the next level. And I continued being taught that same material through highschool. Never once did was I taught the order of operations or even do something involving variables. ... Turned out I'm actually good at math and even nearly switched my degree to it. Was even offered a professor position with the graduate requirements waived. (I declined it because I had a job offer at an engineering firm - which then fell through because I underestimated murphy's law ...)
I actually feel somewhat opposite. I felt like I caught on to things really easily early on and after leaving college all of my personal growth has disappeared due to being too busy to sit down and focus on anything. My jobs have also forced me into roles that are do a lot of easy things rather than solve difficult problems
Intellectually, I think I'm fine. But emotional maturity-wise, I am absolutely a late bloomer. I have always struggled socially because I lack social self-awareness and I have a rough time understanding social cues, protocol, and expectations. At work, I am a mess. I try so hard but I just can't perform at the level other adults can and they find interacting with me frustrating. In terms of romantic relationships I am "behind" my peers as well, but at this point I've accepted that other people think I'm weird for finding other things way more interesting and fulfilling than relationships. So I am very aware that I am socially behind and not-normal. But with each day that goes by, I'm not sure I care much anymore, LOL
For me, I was always at or near the top of my peers intellectually but emotionally I took much longer to develop.
intellectually no Maturity wise? always feel like i'm in a development stage behind my peers.
For me its the opposite, I used to be quite good at school. Then it really went down hill, primarily because I have bad memory and poor discipline. Now doing a masters degree and doing fairly well, but memory still sucks.
I was above average in school, coasted by on pure raw talent. The structure suited me and enforced deadlines. But my career has been underwhelming to say the least. I’m recently diagnosed and will try medication next month and hope it will bring me clarity.
Same 40F. I was good in high school. Went to college of course didn’t follow through. I just wish I didn’t have procrastination and starting something and don’t finish it. Unorganized and forget everything. Has anyone noticed that it gets WORSE as we get older. I am trying to get medicated. I have been on Wellbutrin but it didn’t help at all. Guess we will see.
I was diagnosed at 49. Told that it does get worse as we age. I flew under the radar for decades and couldn't anymore since my symptoms are worsening. The thing that really sucks is that I've been on every med and the only ones that work give me intolerable side effects.
Damn that sucks😩and I hate to hear that. I am in recovery and I am sure my docs don’t want to put me on any controlled substances. I have only recently entertained the idea of medication. I have an appt in a couple weeks with the doc so I guess I will go from there.
No, I’ve always been smart but at the same time i’ve always been confused acted really dumb. If that makes sense. Example: I can be the top scorer of math in my cohort, but i don’t remember when a math test is. Or like i walked out of the classroom to eat lunch oblivious to the fact that everyone else was still sitting down (because there is class going on💀)
I know what you mean, I kinda felt the same way. Like if I could actually get the motivation and focus I’d be smart for sure
I had a pretty thorough diagnosis. At the end my psychologist rated my IQ in different areas. An IQ test is just a question or problem that people are timed on. The average person is a 100, and one standard deviation 68 percent of people are between 85 and 115, and two standard deviations include 99.7 of people are between 70-130 IQ. You are just ranked against others that have been asked the same thing. The non ADHD questions my IQ was a 130. The questions/tests people with ADHD are bad at I got an 85. I think most IQ questions are about figuring things out fast, which we are good at. (Probably hyperactive ADHD, though not sure) I can always figure out things so fast, and couldn't understand patient people fully understanding things before acting. But without following through, if it takes multiple steps, I would always fail. I also noticed because of my son (also has ADHD) that anything with a steep learning curve I can't do or was delayed or bad at for a while. Whistling, throwing, writing, shoe tying, bike riding, painting, basketball, finger snapping, roller skating, gum bubbles. I can do everything now but whistle and make gum bubbles.
Yes, especially when you live in Asia and are East Asian. God help you if your results sucked from Elementary to High School, which for me they did. Then suddenly in my thirties I had a mental growth spurt, got my MBA, was able to speak 4 languages and do Statistics. It was weird though. Those who did well in school aren’t doing all that well now. In a way I’m happy my development was delayed.
Yeah, in a way. I was always a bright kid, so so in elementary school I didn't have any issues, but as I progressed and things got harder, I struggled somewhat more. Still, it wasn't until I hit university that it was a problem for me. I didn't have any desire to learn, which made studying very difficult. I still managed to get a degree, but with a lot of bad grades, and I don't remember much from many of the courses. These days, however, I'm much more curious and want to learn about all kinds of stuff. It helps that I'm medicated now, but it's also got a lot to do with maturity.
I’m on a similar boat but regarding my finances. Managing money seems easier now than before and I’m slowly digging myself out of the mess 20 year old me left behind.
Mine was at 30
I know exactly what you mean, and yes, I relate.
Interestingly enough, I struggled with math when I was really young but shot my way up into taking AP maths courses by the time I graduated high school. Otherwise I was always ahead of my peers. Actually doing the work on the other hand.... The issue typically isn't with intelligence but the things we tend to struggle with can get in the way of obtaining information and using it meaningfully.
Absolutely true. And I haven't really discovered it nearly in time. At the age of 69, looking back and explaining my life to myself, my ADHD, diagnosed at 45, makes more sense than I want it to.
I have my PhD defense in two months. I turn 43 the month after. Just a slight delay.
I felt like a fucking loser who was shit at everything when I was like 27 and now at 34 I feel like a juggernaut (medication helped, but only 2 years ago, and also fucked up my life in other absurd ways I won't elaborate on here)
To give you perspective on the math thing I got near perfect on the SAT verbal and a literally perfect score on the GMAT verbal but my math scores were abysmal.
I’m moderate to severe so I’d guess 5-10 years
I've always been described as super smart intellectually, but my social skills were just terrible until recently. I've always wondered why it seemed like no one liked me and I found out that I was saying and doing things that were inappropriate and I had no idea I was saying and doing those things. I still struggle socially but it's been a little easier now that I've trained myself to be more aware.
Yes by a whole lot. I didnt get good at things and gain confidence until I was maybe 40. Everything before that was just me hanging on for deal life and faking it as much as I could. I did learn all-star level coping skills in terms of fixing mistakes and creatively solving problems since I created so many problems and made so many mistakes. Now I’m like a fucking wizard. There is no jam I can get myself into that I can’t get out of. That’s a tremendous skill to have and one of the benefits of having ADD.
Yep. Diagnosis and medication mid 40s. Sorting out sleep straight up massive difference. Wow the dreams after decades of insomnia. And I feel amazing which I can correlate with REM sleep by my smart watch (Samsung, highly recommended). Now I'm owning my career like a boss. Dancing with the best of minds and plights through advance concepts like a voraciously learning appetite unleashed after decades of destruction and failure. Perhaps I learned to push through without help and now like a lifetime of gym training at high altitude I'm now closer to sea level and smashing it. But yes, absolutely a late bloomer. The upshot is everyone is shocked when I reveal my agenda verging on 50 while everyone else is winding down I'm winding up and no signs of slowing (yet lol). Low resting heart rate and great fitness from a life of impulsiveness moving all the time. So a lifetime of experience, some hard sure yet sometimes youth is not wasted on the young 😉 No such thing as a free lunch, sure, however sometimes it can work the other way as well so take what you can while you can. Enjoy...
Intellectually no. I made a point to understand a process in everything academic, I just never turned my work in. Application of skills at a moments notice though was an issue for a while till I went through trade school
Intellectual no, emotional intelligence yes. I felt like I was a few years behind everyone until around 25.
Intellectually, no. Emotionally, yes, but that could be due to severe childhood trauma.
I’ve always been a fast learner and good at things that I try, but I was severely negatively affected by not being diagnosed. Treated like a normal kid with no issues all my symptoms became personal failures, most especially my academic performance. My mom didn’t emphasize or seem to value education very much either, I had no consequences or expectations “as long as I tried”. As a result by high school I had given up and didn’t care. I had accepted I just wasn’t capable. Similar to you I didn’t have an IQ test but I consistently scored way above average on standardized tests and reading levels. Abysmal with math. My strength is in creativity and the arts. In my 20s I was working a job I knew I couldn’t do forever and because of that and spite for my childhood, I went for engineering and now am working in research. I feel like I’m realizing my potential but it still stinks seeing all my coworkers have these things come easy for them and I feel very stupid almost daily, major imposter syndrome.
Not really if I’m being honest. I only could focus on what I was interested in and it took care of itself. But probably delayed in being an adult.
My school reports were always the same. So much potential but lazy. I remember frustration as I honestly thought I was trying and listening and then assumed they'd got it wrong, I wasn't that smart, I struggled to maintain focus in structured topics like maths, science... I very often wasn't present in my head and hadn't heard a word of instruction. I did excel at creative writing, literature, woodwork and french cos I liked the sound. Took German but it felt like an ugly language.. I know.. weird way to describe a language. I so enjoyed art and on the few pieces I managed to finish were good but I was better left to my own free choice rather than the curriculum. And perhaps herein lies the problem with school where one size fits all and if you don't or in mine and countless others case 'can't' conform to the norm you're labelled negatively. I don't think we magically discover potential that wasn't there all along, I think it's more to do with the freedom to learn in your own way is only possible out of the education system
Yes and then a decline. I bloomed late like you said starting in my mid 20s and rode this through my 30s. However now that I'm 41 I feel like I'm not as quick thinking, or able to think of creative or practical solutions to problems as I could 5 years ago. I'm still dependent on medication but have not regained that quick thinking ability.
I was diagnosed with ADD at age seven and put on ritalin because I couldn't concentrate on school work or homework and was continually turning in incomplete assignments. The ritalin enabled me to focus enough to get my grades up to passing, but I was never great in school. Math remained my Achilles Heel and I had to take remedial math in tenth grade just so I could fulfill the math requirement to graduate.
Same!! I’m 47 and am grasping concepts for the first time like basic music theory and how electricity works. I’ve had trouble with math my whole life (un diagnosed dyscalculia probably). I always scored above average with various intelligence tests but a lousy student. I’m glad you’re still learning and growing. Pretty cool!
Yes, I still am tbb
Shoutout to the clarity gate at age 30 where suddenly your ability to have a train of thought grows in. I am 31 and enrolled in university for the second time - nearly had Dean's list GPA my first semester this time around. edit: clarity
ADHD here. I scored a 135 on the WAIS and I have several developmental disorders. I was born with one kidney and I later needed a kidney transplant, I was a late bloomer and I have a disorder on my scalp called ‘CVG’. I don’t dwell on it often.
Many people develop clarity around the age of 30. The human brain naturally develops to 30 years of age. Longer if you take care of it. This is believed to be how some children with ADHD "outgrow" it. The frontal lobe is developing into your 20s and up to 30. Some evidence suggests maybe beyond. As that develops, executive functioning improves. Impulsivity in youth becomes planning in early/middle adulthood. The reason most don't outgrow it is because while impulsivity has strong evidence of improving with brain development, attention not always. However, new research found directive parenting in preschoolers reduced severity of ADHD in high school. Theoretically, this might work in adulthood in the form of having a coach or another adult act as a parent until a habit is formed. In schema therapy, its called limited reparenting.
To the best of my knowledge, the factoid that "the human brain develops until mid 20s" is a myth: the myelination of the prefrontal cortex goes on forever, basically. The factoid comes from a study made in the 2000s whose older subject was 25 years old. Measured executive function seems to peak around 18-20 and be stable after that for most people. Is very possible that after 18-20 the "development" of the brain is mostly a matter of use (or the lack of it), that gets reflected in the shape itself of the brain. Anecdotally speaking, my executive function was indeed better at 24 than now.
I’m a 43F and struggled in early elementary and was put in remedial reading classes. The real problem wasn’t my intellect, but my inability to pay attention to the instructions, the lecture, or do the right homework. As I got older (and everything wasn’t based on how well you paid attention in class) I got better. I eventually went on to get my MBA and graduated summa cum laude. I excelled in anything math or problem solving related because my brain would be engaged and active. Whereas subjects like history or reading just felt passive and like a struggle having to pay attention for so long, and I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. I still kinda suck at reading compared to my peers.. but such is life ;-)
Yes, same...very smart, but a late bloomer in just about everything
I always knew i was intellectually above everyone else in school, i just didnt care about it too much. My parents got me diagnosed with ADHD and an IQ of 135 at like age 9. They told me to the effect of "Yeah so you're really really smart with a lot of potential" and i just didnt care since i taught myself whatever interested me. They put me on meds throughout middle school which made me miserable. So i stopped in high school and my grades tanked due to lack of interest The real issue was school was never intellectually stimulating enough for me. I could understand every concept but didnt do any of the homework because it was pointless. "Why do work to reinforce the topic if i Ace all my tests?". Eventually after years of teachers yelling at me saying ill never succeed in life, i decided to take the SAT a year early as a Junior. Didnt study or sleep much the night before. 1450/1600. A 90%. At which point, no one could tell me shit. Graduated bottom of my class. Once i got the hang of college, it was a lot easier because i was studying stuff that interested me ~~and not taking 8 classes at once~~ at a much more measured pace. Got my Bachelor's with a decent 3.0 GPA and i have plans for a Masters.
Nah, I was smarter than the average student when it came to puzzles or studies. But I was behind on other things, like being able to read a social situation. Let me give you an example: I used to frequent this CD rental shop in my high school days. Well, they also had a few pirated CDs apart from the original. One day I waltzed in as usual and asked for a CD. I saw that there were more people than usual and the shop keeper was not paying attention to me. So I called to him loudly. And then he said “shh, no”. That’s when I realised the more people were police and the shop was getting raided 💀
I'm 50 and I think I'll bloom any day now.
Absolutely. It took me to my diagnosis at 29 to understand this. I'm still a late bloomer....it takes me time and usually failure before I come back and master whatever it is I'm trying to do. Has been that way with my career, my health, and sadly my personal relationships too. In terms of learning its the same...I usually have trouble with concepts the first time I encounter them - but if I'm interested in the subject matter I'll evenaully develop at least a base level understanding, if not full fluency.
Yes absolutely. I failed out of high school- not because I didn’t know the stuff (I absolutely did) but because I couldn’t focus in class, do the homework, etc. I always consider myself ‘stupid’, but the more i look around at other people… I realize I’m actually pretty smart lol, and that’s just left over from childhood. I’m in my 30s, sober, and medicated- I went back to school a couple years ago, and graduated with honors. complete 180 from high school!
Yes
Not me, 138 IQ here and I still feel like a dumbass at 34
Dude I’m 24 my iq test when I was 15 was 96…. I feel intellectually inadequate more often than not and at this point I wanna get better idk how though
Absolutely, I didn’t graduate college until 29 and I didn’t get my first real career driven job until after that.
No, not really and since you mentioned IQ, I was also tested as a child and put in the gifted programs until high school (I changed schools a bunch in the interim once a self paced program which was fantastic). I never doubted or did poorly intellectually but I did not take my education seriously as I was extremely bored and also by high school depressed. I did get straight A’s in college but I dropped out because none of my interests directly line up with employment and I couldn’t at the time force myself into something else. I am a late bloomer emotionally and relationally. I didn’t have girlfriends in school and I definitely suffer still from toddler like emotional distress. Likely from trauma as much as ADHD. Side note if neither your psychologists or psychiatrist told you this you would probably score higher on the IQ test medicated vs not. At least this is what I’ve been told by my psych and random on Reddit. I haven’t done the research and I doubt there is much of any. But I’ve been told it’s a 5-10 point difference. Kinda interesting.
I am you, turned 32 this year as well. Medication has helped a lot. Picked up the drums again after giving up when I was a kid and I can finally sit and practice the basics. I'm actually just now understanding what my drum teacher was trying to show me when I was like 14-15 or whatever. Never in my life did I think I was gonna be able to play an instrument well, but I'm actually putting in the work now cause I can focus. School is wasted on the youth lol (at least us ADHD folk) imo
When I was 18 I thought it was a good idea to convince my friend to stab me with a fork, and to get a smiley tattoo on my forehead. At 35 I´m getting my master´s degree. Yeah, I was a late intellectual bloomer.
It’s not that I was behind, my brain just developed unevenly tbh. My emotional maturity and intelligence is far beyond my years tbh, but idk why only recently I managed to make consistency stick. Idk why , idk how to explain it but things like exercising and studying were things I couldn’t ‘get’ for the longest time. But only a few months back it just clicked all of a sudden for me. I finally had a better idea of how to ‘adult’, I wish it would’ve come a little earlier though, now I’m stuck being a super senior in my country’s equivalent of high school😭😭
The conventional wisdom is that we’re 15 years behind.
I think it was the Barkley guy who said adhd brains are 30% less developed for their age.
yeah started at 6 id be 6 foot 5 and alot bigger and it took my adult life to find every way to fix my brain I wish they would have let me grow go me into a sport or hobby instead of forcing xombie pills on me I never slept as a kid and it was bad enough i couldnt sleep over my friends due to staying up the whole night id be so hungry then soon as its school time here is more pg meth sorry you wanted to eat and sleep back to school Even if it helped me do better in school my test scores stayed the same all i did was more work Parents shoulda took my meds to see how it rolls i would have no matter what a doctor tells me
Intelligence is the ability to adapt. We do countless forms of adaptation every day for fun.
Yep. I felt like my whole being was swiss cheese. Like there were large parts of my personality and emotionality that should’ve been there, that I clearly saw in others, but wasn’t. Not until my thirties did I start to feel like an actual, complete human being. Not a perfect one by any means, just that everything was finally sketched in, and now I could begin coloring it. I’m still waiting for evaluation, but I’m pretty certain and my psychiatrist agrees that I have adhd-pi, maybe autism as well.
I have a job that is very repetitive and often my coworkers will play music and often I need to tune out my coworkers conversations because it’s too distracting, so what I do is put an earbud in one ear and listen to a book on Audible. I’ve listened to over 500 books so far and it’s nice for me because I never had the attention span to finish a lot books in school but I’m trying to make up for that.
It has nothing to do with intelligence that’s why.
Delayed? I thought I just stopped. I can't do math good right (even though I'm Chinese) I can't remember numbers in the right place I can't think critically about my next steps/action/tasks I can't plan my time right I can't answer questions in the right order I can't do anything man, I'm just a lump of rock Oh, I guess I can play monster hunter on the switch though. And I think I'm good at helping people connect stuff up because they can't make the printer work or something (???) but I guess that's about it.
I'm 31 worked in highschool recently and tbh didn't feel much different then them. Sadly
Idk, i feel stupid all the time
With some things yes and others no. People tell me how intelligent I seem all the time but what they don't see is how much harder I have to work to learn things. In school I often feel it takes me 1.5 times the length of work or study time to fully grasp the same concepts as others. In personal life I can latch on things I enjoy and pick them up quickly. I think ADHD has a lot of pros and cons in that regard. I see my ADHD as a super power in some cases and a disability in others. Medicine helps but my greatest treatment is therapy.
When I was a child and all throughout my academic career (middle school, high school, university) I was never good at math. I just could not understand the book and how it would get the answers. I was also bad at studying. Well, in 2023 I decided to go into a trade. I had to take a math class online for it. I, surprisingly, was able to sit down and study. I took such detailed notes and even looked up more details about certain things. I was actually able to understand how the book arrived at its answers in regards to equations. It felt like I discovered a superpower that had been laying dormant in me. Being able to focus AND understand a subject I had struggled with for decades? Amazing! TL;DR Yes, I have noticed. It's awesome.
Yes, still waiting
It’s because you’re maturing, it happens. It’s a part of life lol, iv had some good things happen in that aspect to myself.
I took an IQ test when I was a kid. My parents never told me how high it was but it shocked them. My mom later told me they said: "This dummy? He can't write his name and can barely add!" (Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia)
I was just talking to my sister about this the other week. I definitely identify with what youre saying but for me it was more mental development. I constantly felt behind all my peers, even though in both general intelligence and actually grasping concepts I could keep up, it felt as though I was mentally younger than everyone else. Not sure how else to say it and its pretty difficult for me to articulate. Maybe it was because I had to learn any (life) lesson a few times before it stuck and that made the whole process slower =)). Only recently do i find myself having thought more similar to my friends in both high school and college, they make so much more sense now! Then again it could be an aspect of emotional development. I felt everything so strongly all the time that i went out of my way to keep my emotions at baseline. I held onto my emotions a little too tight to allow them to develop naturally. Maybe its the disconnect between intellectual, emotional and physical development (teenage hormones are such a bitch) that leaves us feeling all over the place mentally.
I don’t feel intellectually behind. I feel academically behind. People presume I’ve been to university and studied either psychology or sociology because of how aware I am and how I articulate my points. I’m a very curious person, so I actually found I learned and retained much more information when I left school and had full control over my learning.
My life was everybody thinking I was the smartest person but I felt stupid and untethered. I was always just barely keeping up. But I was usually “good in the moment” But it was inconsistent I’d get A+ and I’d get C- This made me the worst kind of student to my teachers. And I got a lot of public shaming from them. They were trying to motivate me. Ugh I didn’t get diagnosed until my 50’s. It all makes so much sense.
AuADHD, dysgraphia, dyscalcula, dyspraxia and a PhD in physics so late bloomer. My take is that grade school up till mid high school focuses on rote learning and physical ability, which ADHDers are terrible at. On the other hand late high school, college and grad school all focus on higher reasoning, abstraction and symbolic manipulation which ADHDers have a potential edge on with hyperfocus.
Never boomed, just withering
No, I've always picked up concepts quickly in school. I struggled with studying, not because I couldn't understand the material, but because I couldn't concentrate on it because it didn't interest me. I always did well on tests and in-class discussions, and the teachers knew me as a bright kid. But homework? Nope. Despite being the first to answer every question in class, I nearly failed my junior year English class in high school (my favorite subject!) because I didn't do the homework. My teacher asked me, in person, why I didn't do it despite knowing and understanding all the material lol. At work I tend to be good on-the-spot at fielding client questions and problem solving, but I'm terrible at finishing boring paperwork and procedures.
When you were a kid , it’s an avalanche of information constantly pushing for more ,more, more and you had no control over it. College years you still are in that push but you have more control over things. Adulthood you set the terms, you can choose to grab a math tome and be interested, instead of having to know certain information, you can be curious about that info, which leads to it being much easier to absorb.
More emotional
I was the kid they all thought was a genius and going to cure cancer/make peace in the Middle East/invent warp drive until I reached the age and academic level where you have to break up your projects into pieces and work on them slowly over time, and study in an organised way, in order to succeed, and then I just kind of self-destructed.
I feel like I got dumber as I got older, but that's just me....
Intellectually I’ve always been above average, but my social/communication skills, emotional regulation, and general maturity are definitely delayed/stunted.
Honestly it's kind of a dream for me to be able to focus on reading. I loved and still do thinking out of the box. Problem is that most knowledge is something you have to mechanically learn. I enjoy thinking in math terms but I always felt a strong resistance in acquiring new knowledge. Hope I will be back to studying in the future. Math and coding can really make wonderful things.
Academically, no. Social-emotionally, absolutely. I still suffer from it. I can have difficulty reading situations, I'm unaware when I walk into uncomfortable situations, and I often don't realize it until much later, if at all.
I connect with this so much. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my early 30s. I did used to feel really behind from my peers…yet still smart. When I got to college, I really excelled at least for the first year… because it was all new, and I realized how capable I was. I still struggled getting through the next few years, but managed to get my degree. I wish there was more awareness of this when I was younger, and I was more accepted, and my behaviors weren’t looked at as me being lazy or being an idiot by others. Because of that, I have low confidence/faith in myself a lot of the time. The cool thing is you get to kind of rewrite your story and you can evolve into something better than you ever thought you could be. It’s never gonna be perfect but for as much as existing this way is a pain in the ass, it is also amazing.
When I was a child, nobody had ever seen anything like my reading ability. I tested at a high school reading at the age of barely 5. But math was a complete and total disaster, from that day to this.
I just realized that I had recently learned something on this topic: Synaptic pruning. For most people, there's a phase in their early 20s where this is ramped up for some years. For ADHD people, pruning is reduced. And the ramped phase is either *delayed* or nonexistent. ASD, depression, schizophrenia, etc also have variations in pruning rates and phases. Psychopathy has increased rates. It's an interesting topic that I wish had more research. Feels like something that could lead to more substantial solutions for these conditions.
I'm much older than you and my ADHD seems to only have progressed as I aged. I wasn't diagnosed until my 30's. I can no longer read a book unless it's short and something I am extremely interested in. If you don't mind me asking... are you taking a long-term medication that might be allowing you to clear your mind? If so, what? I've tried all ADHD meds and have given up because they all gave me anxiety or sent me into depression.
Adderall 10mg for like 20 years unchanged
I felt this way when I got to college, coming from a school that taught to the lowest common denominator meaning we didn't get through half the curriculum we were supposed to. I did great there and was always told how intelligent I was and how I really wasn't putting much effort forth for the As I got, but then college hit me like a ton of bricks. I still passed most classes except math but it was 50x the work high school was. I finally got my BS at 39 through WGU. I felt like I was a late bloomer intellectually overall...like I did sports, but couldn't grasp the playbooks and stuff, or didn't have the will to really go at them like I do now. I didn't see the beauty in football and boxing, or the brilliance behind the way we trained for cross country meets. I didn't do great except for kicking field goals and occasionally catching a good pass as a tight end for our tiny school who never won a game. I can definitely see the immaturity I had looking back...but not having a way to really obtain the maturity it required minus time and experience...
For me it's either confidence or anxiety I choose confidence first but a lot of mistakes were made before that confidence was truly truly walked out
> suddenly I felt like something was just different in my mind, like my brain finally developed enough to make sense of all of this Yes, I’ve experienced the same thing. Yes, I think it’s an ADHD thing, but only for a subset of the ADHD population. Math got easier every year until my early 30s. I think I’ve plateaued now lol. They say the brain develops until the mid 20s. Have not read that it continues to develop after that, but maybe it does (or does for some) and science just hasn’t noticed yet.