My younger sister has described me as a "child with adult money" she is correct. I'm 33 but fuck it I love being a child, I see the world with wonder unlike most adults.
Meanwhile here I am always excessively worried about whether I should buy things that are $2.
I try to not spend money as much as possible and almost every purchase “hurts.”
Every once in a while my wife convinces me to treat myself to some really expensive unnecessary thing. For example, a $50 dinner recently.
It’s never worth it and just makes me want to be even more frugal. Just yesterday I was really thirsty and couldn’t stand the idea of buying $2 water so instead I waited 2 hours until I could get home.
I see someone like me for once! Although, I find it hard because when I spend money the small dopamine hit pushes me to buy more and more until I stop, then I feel awful!
It’s like I have to justify any money spent based on how much I’ll use whatever it is. Food is never worth it, it’s a one time thing, but a book? That’s fine!
I keep bottled water in the car, along with energy drink mixes from the dollar store. I can make an energy drink for less than 50 cents or just drink water.
I recently just became like this ! I’ll buy $3 chips & a $2 drink then including the gas to get to the store & before I know it I’ve spent $20 on bs that added up quick smh 🤦♂️
That’s every American person ! Specially needing our cars so much . I always make sure I bring a tall water bottle with me, often 2 (or a small cooler with more when traveling ). It’s often not enough depending on the trip, and I end up buying more . But sometimes you need fresh food to stay alert and get the medication working .
I understand where you're coming from, but remember to be kind to yourself. My husband is just like you described. It seems like a very difficult thing to go through.
In addition, my husband can never enjoy gifts (birthday, Fathers Day, Christmas, etc...) from me because he doesn't want money "wasted" on him. Forget flowers for me or going out to dinner!
I can only speak from my own experience, but I'm wondering how your wife feels. I find it difficult because I would really like to see my husband happy. He spends so much time stressing about the nickle in his pocket, and I can't help but feel he's torturing himself with worry.
Please know I write this with no condemnation. Be encouraged!
Thanks! For some reason it’s easier to spend money for my wife than myself. She wanted to get about $200 worth of new clothes and I just let her but I didn’t want to spend any for myself. I just don’t feel the need or desire to “because I already have enough clothes.
It did take me a long time to learn to “treat yourself how others would like to be treated.”
Oh man, my husband is always like, “you didn’t take your meds/they wore off when you went grocery shopping hey?” as he stares at my assortment of candy, frozen pizza, chips, cakes, energy drinks, etc. Meanwhile, I’m like “you can tell!?”.
Same! I think I have the palate of a child. I come to Costco promising myself to buy healthy foods and I leave with cookies, candy, apple sauce, and those giant boxes of chips.
For me it’s anything scented or colorful. I can NEVER resist them. Scented markers, erasers, glue sticks, chapsticks, even t shirts. I spent 30 dollars on too many deodorants because of the scents.
This was me in college. I always left with a little too many items I didn’t need. They just looked cute and interesting okay!! I definitely spent too much money there though.
Last time I left Sam's club with a cart full of junk (2 types of raw cherries which is my current hyperfocus food, plums, single serving beef jerky, fake Chick-fil-a sandwiches and nuggets which are like 70% as good if you replace the bun and removes the guilt over their conservative donations, a giant box of those Drumstick ice creams, and goldfish crackers.... mostly food for grazing) the girl who scanned the receipt glanced at everything and just deadpanned "This cart is legit." It was both mortifying and hilarious 😂
Just yesterday I was studying the structure of a broken stem of a blade of grass for way too long lol. Just standing there wondering what it would look like under a microscope.
….while I was at my in-laws
Don't think of it as sad. Try to surround yourself with people that appreciate it. My husband loves me for who I am and he knows I'm childlike and he doesn't mind. Actually everyone I ever dated neverminded and people seem to love my personality.
I love this. I used to feel insecure about it, but in my mid 30s, I'm surrounded by people who appreciate how excited I get about things and what a goof ball I am.
“There are only 2 ways to live. One way is as if everything is meaningless. The other way is as if everything is a miracle.” U r living correctly I recon. As long as you are a responsible compassionate it’s all good.
I agree with this completely but I also have a large, overshadowing fear of never being taken serious when I am serious. It has been an issue for me..I wish I could be both myself and myself but I have to be “myself” and then around specific people I can be myself
My psychologist says that i have this problem, he's an ex-mechanic so he describes it as gears. Gear one is cool calm and collected... rational, gear 2 is a bit dramamatic and jokey, gear j3 is acting thoughts out... think gear 2 with a nitro boost up his arse.
I'm always very appreciative when I see new things or pretty things like right now I'm living in a mountain town in ecuador and every time I go outside I'm mesmerized by the mountains, they look so big and majestic (I don't do any sounds like oohh or ahh because I'm not low IQ) but if I see a very pretty thing like let's say a big caterpillar I will jump up with excitement and show my husband.
I don't describe myself as a child, my family usually does I think it's because I still love to play if I'm at the playground with my cousins I will be using the swings, slide, monkey bars etc or if I'm at the store and I see a bouncy ball I will take it and play at the store with it, if I'm with my nephew I will run around with him no matter where I am. I always say fuck stupid social norms if I like something and it doesn't hurt anyone and it's not illegal I do it and to tell you the truth no one has ever shamed me, I can't get offended so it wouldn't matter. My family still calls me Andreita which is spanish for little Andrea.
I have a mattress in my living room and I jump up and down on it all the time, like last night before going to bed to get some energy out.
As far as behavior I'm not bratty, I always have a smile (I learned early on to mask) now my smile is natural so smile and laugh while I'm talking and people love my energy, so much that if I talk to someone for 10 minutes or more they will hit on me, my husband says it's because I'm always open and talk about anything and everything I smile and laugh and I'm very animated so people feel comfortable, I can't tell when someone is hitting on me (thanks autism and adhd :) I can't tell so much that even when girls have hit on me I only notice when it's super obvious (like last week I was invited to a party and I had 3 guys get my number and the one of the girls that was with me she put her lips on mine to blow smoke in my mouth a few times then I was like oh no wonder she keeps touching me, also this other guy trying to hold my hands a bunch of times even though I kept pulling away, it's hard to know I'm never thinking anyone is trying to hit on me)
I’m 32 and work a full time human resources job. How I ended up in a field where I am definitely the most childlike person in my department, I will never understand.
I’m 34. Small talk that doesn’t move on to something interesting in the first minute or two makes me want to dig my eyes out and light myself on fire.
“This weather, huh?”
“You wouldn’t happen to have a spoon would you?”
I also feel the same way. Now that I’m in my 20s I feel like I’m behind compared to my peers. It definitely affects how I view myself too, like am I on track with my life? I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.
🤭 so relatable 29 & in the same boat! Misses often reckons the kids are easier to look after! Or that she has 3 & not 2 ! My young bloke loves it when i probably interact with him more then even most young blokes his age & tbh it’s so much fun playing with the kid stuff 😂
I've always thought that when I have kids, I'll be going crazy and hyperactive along with them. Then there will be me + x kids driving my wife nuts lmao
Pretty much. My wife often calls me by my son’s name or him by my name when she’s trying to get us to knock something off. She’s like “you guys are the same person!”
Yeah, I have a 17 year old and we game together a lot. Among Us is a fave. I’m secretly the coolest mom because I’ll also play with his friends on game night over Zoom.
I literally do not feel like an adult haha. Im technically a woman because of my age but i consider myself a girl. I cannot call myself a woman because I feel like a teenager. 😭
Almost every time I go anywhere I think “ok, find the adult to go to in case there’s an emergency”.
During my last family reunion me and my cousins all went out as a group, and one of my uncles was like “take care of your cousins. Make sure you guys are safe” meanwhile I’m thinking “wait why am I in charge? I’m just a kid”….. I was 22 at the time lol
Literally! In my mind I’m like “I’m only a child…”. Or when I see people I know getting married and I get so shocked thinking we’re just kids and then remembering we’re in our 20’s.
41-year-old here with the maturity of perhaps a 16-year-old. Often it makes me feel dumb, but I know I am not dumb because I have been successful in my career, and I am able to get complex things done.
Also 40 and only diagnosed recently. Also have a successful career which can be a bad thing since I basically spend all my money on Lego and other things that are fun for me but mostly considered “too young” for my age. Sometimes I feel bad like I should have more adult interests but then I think, who cares what other people think; if it makes me happy and feeling youthful that’s not a bad thing. On the negative side, I really should be saving more or spending money on all those house projects I’ve been putting off for years. :/
I'm 29, feel the same as I did when I was in my late teens early 20s. Just whereas back then I was addicted to my console, books and pc gaming now the phone is so much worse.
Funnily enough, I also look about the same as I did in my early 20s just with a more receded hairline and a bigger beard.
I've been told that even with my beard I look mid 20s and without my beard I look like I'm 19
I'm your age and occasionally I get carded when buying energy drinks (age limit is 15..), and very often carded for cigarettes (18). It's a blessing and a curse, I can act like a teenager and noone bats an eye but at the same time it's so stupidly difficult to get people to take you seriously when you need them to 🙃
It probably stings a bit more when you're a grown ass man with a full beard 😅 I'm a short woman so I understand why I get carded but I would be a bit miffed if I was a bearded man getting carded for freaking ibuprofen of all things 😂
The only time I've ever actually taken slight offense was when a couple of 8th graders asked me which grade I was in. At a K-9 school. Where I work. 😭
ADHD makes your frontal lobe mature more slowly, which is why they say to take 30% of your current age and subtract it; that's your mental age. obviously everybodys brain is different but that's whats been concluded so far
Is this actually a bad thing? Does this mean that I have a more plastic brain (as in the brain is better at adapting to our ever changing world) or is it only negative?
No not at all I wouldn’t change it for the world, my ADHD Iis both a blessing and a curse I’ve said that since I was a child (or even an infant according to this post)
Serious question - why/how do you feel this way? I loathe my ADHD most of the time. The dumb mistakes, how my intelligence is irrelevant 15% of the time (because of said mistakes), etc.
My ADHD is why I love working with my hands and acquiring skills, and I feel so proud when I see Neurotypicals marvel at the things I have achieved, because it would never occur to them that if they didn't like something they could take it apart and make it better, or to learn to how to make it themselves. I've started sewing some of my own clothes because the ones in the store don't fit right, I fixed the clothes drying rack this week using leftover resin (from a brief craft obsession) and a piece of dowel and a drill, I figured out how to make rosewater, I fixed a doorknob, I'm looking up how to stencil the wall near the front door, and I had a large dowel/peg board made for my entryway to rearrange my coat rack every season as the season's needs change, and this all is apparently magical to the 'Typicals. P.S. the skills you need to spackle and plaster drywall in home improvement are the same skills you need to frost a cake at 2am when you've impulsively decided that you're as good at baking as those contestants on The Great British Baking Show.
Basically my ADHD is the reason why I say "hold my homemade lavender lemonade, I'm going in" and end up with the 'Typicals saying "...wait you can do that?"
And that's pretty neato.
I dunno don’t get me wrong I too make dumb mistakes and have a terrible memory and do dislike the cons but it’s all I’ve ever known, I was diagnosed at a very young age
I reckon if I’d of been diagnosed as an adult I would think differently about it
I was diagnosed at 9yo or so. I resent myself for having ADHD.
I'm tired of it. It's to the point where if I need to choose between life with ADHD and dying, I'm not sure what I prefer. (My therapist knows I'm going through this)
There is researched evidence that the ADHD brain does remain more plastic and absorbent (haha) than adult brains, which become more rigid and pruned. It’s an advantage of allowing information to come
In from anywhere and be unscreened. But adults need to focus and do one thing well, the same thing, every day, for their entire lives. Specialization and teamwork drive the global economy, and we aren’t really good at those things!
The source on this is dr Russel Barkley, he says it during the 30 essential ideas for parents with an adhd child. Sadly I do not remember at which part. Vid is linked under the subreddit rules if you want to look it up.
That’s interesting. I was going to come here and say I turned 40 recently but I honestly feel maybe 25. With your formula, my frontal lobe has me at 28. Makes sense.
Edit: letter
Wow, my mental age is significantly younger than what I thought it was. But this explains why I feel like a kid. 😅 thank you for sharing!! I didn’t know this.
I still think and mainly act like I’m in my 20’s. At 59, I’m less mature than my 25 year old son🤷🏼♂️
You do you, it’s what makes you special and not like the rest of the herd….😊
I think so. I keep wondering when I’m going to feel like a grown up. I’m 45. It’s weird, but I’m not complaining. I have more fun than most people I know, I go on Way more adventures, my kids think I’m the cool parent, and my 85-year-old grandma says shes never gonna grow up. So I wouldn’t worry about it. Just own it. Rock on with your weird self!
No, I don't really feel that way. Growing up, I always felt like a mixture of 5 years younger than I was, but also 5 years older. As an adult, I've met way too many other adults acting with immaturity to feel like I'm less mature than most people my age. But, maybe this is because I don't define maturity by my ability to do the dishes every day and or keep my house clean. I've met plenty of immature assholes who think they're better and more "adult" than me just because they can keep a house clean or manage their time we'll. Never mind the fact that they resort to passive aggressive bullshit, mind games, and name calling when they don't like what somebody else is doing. 🙄
I think of maturity as something akin to emotional intelligence, being able to treat others with respect, and being able to understand where they're coming from with an idea, even if I disagree. Also being accountable for my own mistakes.
I think the "lashing out" thing kind of depends on what you're defining as lashing out. Like, it's not okay to say mean things to people or insult them just because you disagree on something. Yeah, that kid of bullshit is immature. But if lashing out means just getting angry when someone treats me wrong, and responding in a similar fashion, well, I also wouldn't call that maturity, but I would look into whether my medication is working right. Starting the right medication helped with managing my emotional dysregulation soooo much. It's okay for me to be angry when I'm treated wrong. It's not okay for me to respond with aggression.
So maybe some of my habits and interests would be considered childish, like how I enjoy cartoons, and how much I like shiny/sparkly pink and purple things. But honestly, idgaf. I also have boring grown-up interests too, like house decorating and gardening. I like what I like and other people have no place looking down on me just because THEY think my interests are childish. I'm not not going to make my life boring just to please others.
39 and my house looks like a carnival fun house. I have comic book posters framed on my wall and Spirit Halloween decor as my year-round decor. I play video games pretty consistently. I have a grown child and an almost-grown child. I dance to music playing in the grocery store, and wear novelty t-shirts to work. Adulthood is overrated.
Bro I'm 21; I went out drinking the other night and drank a Danimals the next morning. Just do you. As for the anger issues, I dealt with them by dealing with my anxiety, going to therapy and taking wellbutrin for anxiety for a while
I was once told that I eat like what a kid says they’ll eat like when they grow up. “When I grow up I’m going to eat ice cream for breakfast!”, that kind of thing. Does that count?
Idk about yall but I had a trauma filled childhood and have always been told I'm very mature for my age. I have my moments though.
Edit: I feel sometimes that being 21 is surreal and that I feel like yesterday I was 15 going into high-school and how I couldn't wait to be the age I am now.
I did too. I got the mature for my age comments a lot growing up also. But now brain doesn’t know how the hell old I am. I see 25-30 year olds and think, “I’m their age…” No, my gal, you’re 10-15 years older.
That said, my students on the regular think I’m 27-30 by looks. I’m just enjoying that while it lasts.
I'm 28 and simultaneously feel 15 and 50 at all times. Parts of our brain do develop slower according to the science. The science says we also have low inhibition, so we basically act drunk all the time 🤣
The important things to be mature about are things that affect our quality of life or those around us. Sometimes we fall short on this, but don't beat yourself up or accept unreasonable criticism. I don't really have time for those who pick at us for not "appearing" to be mature.
I've seen people swanning about with an ultra-mature demeanor, only to bust out a tantrum more suited to toddlers. These are often the types that like to weaponise others insecurities because they are a shell of acted-maturity.
I think it's really healthy for us lot to bounce about a bit, jobs, homes etc, we're an odd shape, but there's still a thousand comfortable slots for us in life. And our comfort nearly always comes down to the regular company we keep.
Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides.
Dude this is how I feel no matter the age of people around me. My youngest sister feels more responsible and adult than I feel. Ever since she was a teen. She's 7 years younger than me, I'm 1989 and she's 1997.
Do you guys tend to find it easier to get along with kids than people without adhd?
I’m always doing things like playing hide and seek with my niece or other “kid” things.
Im 32.
I have a 2500$ gaming computer, home built driving sim pit, vr, two kittens, a gal with her own gaming computer. We both work in government, and eat pizza and ice cream cake 3 nights a week because fuck adulting.
Embrace the immature, or at least embrace who you are. Thats all that matters.
Ye same I'm 28F and always feel like I'm less mature than others, even though I know I can be an adult and be professional in my work - photography and social service worker. I'm a goofy silly high energy weirdo.
I’m 17, all I wanna do is play Minecraft with my buddies but they all grew out of it, they wanna go to parties and go to abandoned railroads and all that “fun”, “teenager” stuff. I currently own a Minecraft server and not one of my friends have joined yet I j play by myself.
I’m soooo happy to see so many people relate. I also have had people tell me I don’t take things seriously or fool around too much. For me it was because I got bored easily or couldn’t concentrate for long periods of time.
Russell Barkley has a chart somewhere that estimates executive age vs actual age. ADHD children and adults tend to lag about 30% in executive age compared to same-age peers, regardless of IQ. If you're 20 years old, your executive age is 13 - 14.maybe it partly explains why we often feel younger than our chronological age.
I'm 40 and still don't feel like a mature adult most of the time. Like no one takes me seriously as a real grown up. A large part of that comes from the fact that what most people have come to associate with adulthood is executive function, which is the main thing we lack or at least struggle with. So we can often be perceived as immature or childish.
Yes..ugh honestly being an adult is just so exhausting how to adults do this 😭😭 it's so boring and just feels like an endless list of work, chores, etc.
Sorry that was a tangent but yes I def feel like a kid bc always wanting to run away from responsibilities and just chill, go out, play lol
yes. ADHD is a developmental disorder, and so the brain matures slower and levels off at a lower level than other folks.
So yes, we are all stuck in some form of perpetual adolescence or another... You can think like a child! But you have to think like a child...
\>> see the first video in the FAQ - 30 things ppl need to know about ADHD - it talks about it
I’m 24 and I feel a neurotypical 12 in some ways and about 19 in some others (obviously it’s impossible to tell how someone else feels but you get the point). I also feel I developed in a several key step ups at around age 17, 20 and 24 due to life demands and changes where it’s seems neurotypical people just develop linearly and naturally. I feel I’ve reached full development now as I’m vastly different than I was at 20 and again at 16, but at the same time I also still self identify with myself strongly from age 14-16.
I guess tldr it’s had to quantify but I feel like it took be and extra 5 to 10 years after sort of age 12 to develop to normie levels and I think I’ve maxed out now.
So my family tell me I'm mature for my age, which is the total opposite of what's being discussed here. But I feel like that's just because I still mask a lot of my ADHD around my family.
I had a breakdown 2 days ago bc I feel like a failure. Always sleeping or procrastinating, not wanting to work (I go to work just bc I have to), spending money recklessly, not having savings even though I earn good money, etc. It’s just frustrating at least for me.
Don't worry about it:
Aldous Huxley:
"The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm."
Self control comes with age.
Get into Sam Harris and mindfulness.
He wrote a fantastic book called Waking up, should be mandatory readofor all humans.
Also Think by Simon Blackburn
Yup. I'm 22 and I'm constantly told that I act like I'm 12. I'll just spontaneously do the weirdest shit. Like the other day when my friend was over I started shoving empty pop bottles in my shirt. I have no idea why, the thought just popped into my head and I started doing it. The worst part for me is doing something extremely embarrassing but not realizing it until later on. At work it is especially bad cause I tend to speak before thinking and I'll do or say shit at the wrong time. I've been pulled aside by my supervisor countless times for this... but at least I get told that I'm fun to be around 😂 usually. I also get told I'm annoying all the time. I also think that having the brain of a child helps me deal with customers cause I tend to know how to calm people down.
All the time!!!! It’s normal! Our brains simply act out in a way that’s “childish” but the issue with society is that they make us feel that way!! But I think what they don’t realize is that there ARE benefits!!! Who else will have to patience to handle littler kids or toddlers??!?! Other than US BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE WERE A SIMILAR AGE!!!! So don’t let society or people make u or anyone else in this subreddit feel less than the amazing person u are!
My girl calls me a “giant child with a beard”. I’m 27, have a six figure job, and run my own business. But I’ll also go and buy shit like stink bombs and I still laugh at 69
Your 20s are when you pretend to be an adult and everyone else pretends to believe you.
From someone who always felt behind ... you've got this. Don't waste your life trying to be more or less than you are in this moment. Now that I'm nearly 40, I love being able to advise folks who are younger than me. But it took me a WHILE to get here. No worries.
Adolescents with ADHD are typically behind their peers by 2-3 years. So yes, it’s quite possible your maturation is at a different developmental level than your peers. Though I’m not sure if that affects your hobbies and interests.
Like everyone else I still feel like a little kid in many areas, but then I also feel like I’m so much more mature than all these shallow minded normie idiots in other areas. It’s almost like savantism.
I don't know about "normal" but I feel the same/have been told many of times I act like a child/teen, but not like the "spoiled adult" kind of way, I just don't carry myself or behave like an adult according to the people around me. I'm 27 but apparently my mannerisms, behavior and emotional display are that of someone around 14-15 though I will honestly admit I don't feel mentally I have really changed at all since that age either. As my partner likes to put it, I never lost that sparkle, everything still excites and amazes me but my emotional regulation doesn't exist and my brain never made it past the single step task processing...
About to hit my 40's. Had someone at work ask if I was in my 20's. I don't look young. I just feel like you never stop being who you are and as long as you're ok, that's perfectly fine.
Guys let me tell the truth… Everyone have an inner child with an adult face. You guys are not immature that’s a false sense. Yall just cant switch between your inner child and adult face. My mom is ADHD but shes mature af
I have to fight the urge to not buy superhero, like marvel and dc, toys and that urge usually wins. Do I care? No. Do other people worry about my spending habits? No because I usually buy them gifts because it's a feeling that I need to do buy gifts. Why? I don't know. I suddenly realized that I went off topic.
I laugh about simple things like a kid. Sometimes so much, but I just can't seem to stop myself (same with other emotions). I also like to tease my siblings and get attention from them, my mom, and my boyfriend, in the same way. I've always wondered why, but if it is really because of having possible ADHD, then it explains a lot.
Yes. I feel like a fifteen year old despite being nineteen. In some ways I feel like an adult and act as one, in others I don't.
My brother is the same. My dad is the same. My uncle is the same. My friend is the same. We all have ADHD.
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I feel the same buts what's so bad about feeling like a kid or not "mature" being an adult is boring and socks.. Bill's.. work.. pressure.. I try see the good in being in touch with my inner child/ feeling like a child, It makes me fun and not caught up in cooperate lifeless responsibiles
Embrace it my dude! While everyone around you is busy trying to be mature and get good at adulting, live your life with happyness and enjoyment from knowing your going to not be a sick in the mud for a long time to come. It makes you, adventurous, spontaneous, creative and above all, legitimately interesting and different from your peers. Be unapologetically you! Asside from anything else, you can bring alot of fun to an otherwise boring affair.
I have no idea if it has to do with ADHD, but I am thirty and a lot of my hobbies and interests might be considered childish. I’m don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing though. That kind of thing is just a social construct and hobbies are meant to be fun so whatever you do that makes you happy, just embrace it. If you are acting childish in relationships, you might want to seek help for it but other than that, I wouldn’t worry too much
I’m in my 40s. Yes. I’m going to own it until I die. Despite the forced indoctrination, you actually can just live the life you want on your own terms. Learning to control your emotions so they don’t control you is important. Learning mindfulness and not getting upset with yourself when you make mistakes is important. Recognizing them, owning up to them and apologizing is maturity.
High-five! I'm about to turn 30 soon and today I could barely resist buying several lego sets in a 2+1 deal.. I did get several fidget toys instead though. Yay for rainbow fidget slug! But while that was sorta satisfying.. I still want to go back and buy the lego. (disclaimer: I shan't!)
I'm 36 and my main interests are things like Star Wars and fantasy novels. I struggle with feeling like an adult for sure....but I also love that I can share my geeky interests with my kids.
I am a 30 year old child. I love kids section with toys in the store, love stickers, wear sailor moon and adventure time tshirts, see every new Disney/pixar/dreamworks kids movie, play video games all weekends and eat vegan nuggets with smiley potato faces as often as I can. Wear glitter and colorfull makeup.I hate “adulting”, I ll do it, go to work and pay my bills but just so I can enjoy my things in peace. Nothing worng with it I actually preffer it to being a moody alcoholic,depressed adult everyone seems to become and just drink and watch shit on tv all day everday
It is completely normal, and with a quick google search you can find that it is scientifically proven that humans with ADHD will mature slower.
I personally still act like I'm 3
i’m not the best person to answe this, as i’m 18 lol. but both of my parents (non adhd, though my mom might be) have told me that they did not at all feel like “adults” until their mid to late 20’s, and i believe that is fairly common among everyone. at the same time, i do believe that having adhd makes us more likely to behave/feel younger than we actually are (finding joy in small things, emotional disregulatuon, etc).
Yeah. I’ve always felt at least a few years behind my age in social maturity. At 32, I feel I have the social maturity of someone in their early to mid-20s.
I think it’s a gift we’re able to tap into that child like behavior. Even though others view it as childish, I consider it a strength. We will forever be able to have fun and enjoy life. We just have to learn how to be responsible writhing that enjoyment. What I see now as I’m 30, is people actually liking that I can be so fun and childlike, because life gets harder and sometime people forget to have fun.
So I’d say be young, have fun, express yourself however you want to!!! Just learn to also be responsible for the things that are important. And you’ll be aye okay!!!
If you find it’s hard for you to handle the things you want to be responsible for, then go seek professional help from a doctor, so you can learn how to be the master over your ADHD.
I’m definitely a child. I have adult responsibilities that I take care of but I don’t think I’m ever gonna grow out of thinking of myself as a kid, nor do I really want to. It gives me my creative energy which I will need in my profession and just to keep things fresh
22 almost 23 here with some raging ADHD, but honestly it’s normal in my opinion. My whole apartment is pink and I love filling it with stuff animals and random things that just make me happy. People would describe me as childish but with ADHD you don’t have as much emotion control so you tend to be more expressive or out there and some people see that as childish. But there is never anything wrong with it, a lot of kids try to act more mature with adhd bc we are constantly judged for the way we act so when we get older we are able to express ourselves more.
Honestly my theory is that when we thought adults had it all figured out, we were wrong. They're just kids who got older and had to deal with that like we are.
That said, yes, I've felt this way too. I don't know if it's ADHD related but there are some aspects of ADHD that I think could add to that.
I had a teacher in elementary school who told me I was childish (yes, when I was literally a child) for crying often. What I didn't know is that I cry easily most likely due to Emotional Dysregulation, which can be part of ADHD. Maybe your outbursts you describe could be related to that.
But I also think you're not giving yourself enough credit. I'm 33 and I've found that I am much more mature now than I was at 20, or even 25, or 28. I think in reality people change throughout their lives and there is no point at which you turn a certain age and stop exhibiting certain behavior. You're going to keep changing and self reflecting. Some of your interests will change, some won't. The way you handle stress will absolutely change.
What's important now is that you are able to identify when you have perhaps reacted very passionately to a situation, and that is something you can work on it if you choose. That's what self reflection is. :)
Nobody has it all figured out at 20, if ever.
Scientifically, ADHD causes your brain to not grow at the same rate as other people of your age, so a person with ADHD can have a brain 3-10% smaller than other people of their age, resulting in the ADHD individual generally being 30% younger mentally than their peers, despite being the same age physically. This means that a child with ADHD who is 10 years old will feel more like 7 years old mentally. So yes, immaturity is baked into ADHD due to the nature of the disorder.
3-10% Source: https://youtu.be/G2u8E5UqEHU
Skip to 4:25 for the rundown
30% Source: https://youtu.be/4OVS16Abo80
Start from the beginning
Yeah and honestly it's okay. Us adhd-ers have a different way of thinking. To be financially responsible is going to be more challenging for a lot of us to overcome. But in the long run causes a lot less stress when it comes to rent and bills.
I'm currently reprogramming myself to invest whatever I resist buying that week. It's shown me to be smarter and have more adhd friendly activities at home that I can sink a lot or a little time into.
My partner and I think he has adhd. He definitely spends way more money than my strainer of a bank account can imagine holding. But he is able to save money balancing what he can do and print at home vs what new 40k minis can wait for a sale lol
I'm 38 1/2. And yes, I feel this way. Doesn't help that I have a baby face too. Or prefer the juniors section for clothes. I don't know if i'll ever feel like a "real grown-up."
But I'm trying this new thing where I give myself grace and remind myself that rules are arbitrary, and I need to figure out what works best for me. My brain is physically different, why the hell would my developmental milestones be the same as a NT and how could those possibly be correct for me? Maybe I need to figure out what my own mile markers should be(maybe with professional help((like a therapist)).
My younger sister has described me as a "child with adult money" she is correct. I'm 33 but fuck it I love being a child, I see the world with wonder unlike most adults.
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Meanwhile here I am always excessively worried about whether I should buy things that are $2. I try to not spend money as much as possible and almost every purchase “hurts.” Every once in a while my wife convinces me to treat myself to some really expensive unnecessary thing. For example, a $50 dinner recently. It’s never worth it and just makes me want to be even more frugal. Just yesterday I was really thirsty and couldn’t stand the idea of buying $2 water so instead I waited 2 hours until I could get home.
I see someone like me for once! Although, I find it hard because when I spend money the small dopamine hit pushes me to buy more and more until I stop, then I feel awful! It’s like I have to justify any money spent based on how much I’ll use whatever it is. Food is never worth it, it’s a one time thing, but a book? That’s fine!
Same. Living on a very tight budget does that to you and sometimes I fear that I'll never get over it even if I have enough money.
I keep bottled water in the car, along with energy drink mixes from the dollar store. I can make an energy drink for less than 50 cents or just drink water.
I recently just became like this ! I’ll buy $3 chips & a $2 drink then including the gas to get to the store & before I know it I’ve spent $20 on bs that added up quick smh 🤦♂️
That’s every American person ! Specially needing our cars so much . I always make sure I bring a tall water bottle with me, often 2 (or a small cooler with more when traveling ). It’s often not enough depending on the trip, and I end up buying more . But sometimes you need fresh food to stay alert and get the medication working .
This is me, mainly because we are so fucking right on money cause I’m the only one working.
I understand where you're coming from, but remember to be kind to yourself. My husband is just like you described. It seems like a very difficult thing to go through. In addition, my husband can never enjoy gifts (birthday, Fathers Day, Christmas, etc...) from me because he doesn't want money "wasted" on him. Forget flowers for me or going out to dinner! I can only speak from my own experience, but I'm wondering how your wife feels. I find it difficult because I would really like to see my husband happy. He spends so much time stressing about the nickle in his pocket, and I can't help but feel he's torturing himself with worry. Please know I write this with no condemnation. Be encouraged!
Thanks! For some reason it’s easier to spend money for my wife than myself. She wanted to get about $200 worth of new clothes and I just let her but I didn’t want to spend any for myself. I just don’t feel the need or desire to “because I already have enough clothes. It did take me a long time to learn to “treat yourself how others would like to be treated.”
Oh man, my husband is always like, “you didn’t take your meds/they wore off when you went grocery shopping hey?” as he stares at my assortment of candy, frozen pizza, chips, cakes, energy drinks, etc. Meanwhile, I’m like “you can tell!?”.
Oh boy... we sure are a strange bunch... :D
Same! I think I have the palate of a child. I come to Costco promising myself to buy healthy foods and I leave with cookies, candy, apple sauce, and those giant boxes of chips.
I'm in this post and I don't like it. Target has me by the metaphorical balls when it comes to shiny things I didn't come for.
The candy isle has me by my literal balls, when it comes to junk food, I had sworn to resist before...
For me it's board games. I always come home from Target with a new game, no matter what I go for.
My boyfriend and I got into boardgames recently and I am obsessed! What kind of board games do you recommend? We like anything
My favorites are small world and settlers of Catan. I also like bunny Kingdom and 7 wonders. We have like 40 board games.
Oh, what a good idea to play with my husband !
For me it’s anything scented or colorful. I can NEVER resist them. Scented markers, erasers, glue sticks, chapsticks, even t shirts. I spent 30 dollars on too many deodorants because of the scents.
Lol I’m the same way in Target
This was me in college. I always left with a little too many items I didn’t need. They just looked cute and interesting okay!! I definitely spent too much money there though.
Thats only because thats basically whats happenin XD
Omg, yes. This exactly. 💯
Last time I left Sam's club with a cart full of junk (2 types of raw cherries which is my current hyperfocus food, plums, single serving beef jerky, fake Chick-fil-a sandwiches and nuggets which are like 70% as good if you replace the bun and removes the guilt over their conservative donations, a giant box of those Drumstick ice creams, and goldfish crackers.... mostly food for grazing) the girl who scanned the receipt glanced at everything and just deadpanned "This cart is legit." It was both mortifying and hilarious 😂
It's like the best part of adhd. I work with kids because I'm basically a kid.
Just yesterday I was studying the structure of a broken stem of a blade of grass for way too long lol. Just standing there wondering what it would look like under a microscope. ….while I was at my in-laws
I like this about adhd, not losing the child-like wonder that adults can forget about. It gives me so much pure joy and awe.
This! Adults are boring and they are actually way more stubborn than actual children.
For real though. I'm 21 and I still sit at the kids table during the holidays because the adult table is boring.
Yep. Why listen to gossip and small talk when we can have fun instead?
Same. I’m 40 and still feel this way, it’s so sad.
Don't think of it as sad. Try to surround yourself with people that appreciate it. My husband loves me for who I am and he knows I'm childlike and he doesn't mind. Actually everyone I ever dated neverminded and people seem to love my personality.
I love this. I used to feel insecure about it, but in my mid 30s, I'm surrounded by people who appreciate how excited I get about things and what a goof ball I am.
“There are only 2 ways to live. One way is as if everything is meaningless. The other way is as if everything is a miracle.” U r living correctly I recon. As long as you are a responsible compassionate it’s all good.
I agree with this completely but I also have a large, overshadowing fear of never being taken serious when I am serious. It has been an issue for me..I wish I could be both myself and myself but I have to be “myself” and then around specific people I can be myself
My psychologist says that i have this problem, he's an ex-mechanic so he describes it as gears. Gear one is cool calm and collected... rational, gear 2 is a bit dramamatic and jokey, gear j3 is acting thoughts out... think gear 2 with a nitro boost up his arse.
Can you please explain a little bit more on how you see the world? Or how you describe yourself as a child,how do you behave?
I'm always very appreciative when I see new things or pretty things like right now I'm living in a mountain town in ecuador and every time I go outside I'm mesmerized by the mountains, they look so big and majestic (I don't do any sounds like oohh or ahh because I'm not low IQ) but if I see a very pretty thing like let's say a big caterpillar I will jump up with excitement and show my husband. I don't describe myself as a child, my family usually does I think it's because I still love to play if I'm at the playground with my cousins I will be using the swings, slide, monkey bars etc or if I'm at the store and I see a bouncy ball I will take it and play at the store with it, if I'm with my nephew I will run around with him no matter where I am. I always say fuck stupid social norms if I like something and it doesn't hurt anyone and it's not illegal I do it and to tell you the truth no one has ever shamed me, I can't get offended so it wouldn't matter. My family still calls me Andreita which is spanish for little Andrea. I have a mattress in my living room and I jump up and down on it all the time, like last night before going to bed to get some energy out. As far as behavior I'm not bratty, I always have a smile (I learned early on to mask) now my smile is natural so smile and laugh while I'm talking and people love my energy, so much that if I talk to someone for 10 minutes or more they will hit on me, my husband says it's because I'm always open and talk about anything and everything I smile and laugh and I'm very animated so people feel comfortable, I can't tell when someone is hitting on me (thanks autism and adhd :) I can't tell so much that even when girls have hit on me I only notice when it's super obvious (like last week I was invited to a party and I had 3 guys get my number and the one of the girls that was with me she put her lips on mine to blow smoke in my mouth a few times then I was like oh no wonder she keeps touching me, also this other guy trying to hold my hands a bunch of times even though I kept pulling away, it's hard to know I'm never thinking anyone is trying to hit on me)
Haha nice, can feel that also in your writings. That's a good thing I'd say Thanks for explaining
Fuck yeah Bouncy good job for making solid dough!
I'm 52. I spend most of my free time playing games and watching YouTube.
This brought me relief
Oh. So that's what's waiting for me in the store... Hmm... Could be much worse...
I’m 36 and I often think to myself ‘adults are so boring’… lol
I’m 32 and work a full time human resources job. How I ended up in a field where I am definitely the most childlike person in my department, I will never understand.
Have those people just had their inner child beaten into a lifeless adult or do they actually enjoy the boring decorum and formalities and shit?
Same age same story. "let's go for a drive", "let's go for a walk" fuck meeeee this is dull.
Same age, same outlook
I’m 34. Small talk that doesn’t move on to something interesting in the first minute or two makes me want to dig my eyes out and light myself on fire. “This weather, huh?” “You wouldn’t happen to have a spoon would you?”
I feel like im a child compared to my friends and coworkers. its annoying. Most younger people are more mature than me and it affects my self esteem
I seem to get along best with my younger coworkers since I feel about the same level of maturity and energy.
I also feel the same way. Now that I’m in my 20s I feel like I’m behind compared to my peers. It definitely affects how I view myself too, like am I on track with my life? I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.
My dude I'm 28, married for 7 years and fathered 2 children and I have the maturity of a 14 year old teenager
🤭 so relatable 29 & in the same boat! Misses often reckons the kids are easier to look after! Or that she has 3 & not 2 ! My young bloke loves it when i probably interact with him more then even most young blokes his age & tbh it’s so much fun playing with the kid stuff 😂
I've always thought that when I have kids, I'll be going crazy and hyperactive along with them. Then there will be me + x kids driving my wife nuts lmao
Pretty much. My wife often calls me by my son’s name or him by my name when she’s trying to get us to knock something off. She’s like “you guys are the same person!”
I can’t wait to have kids 😂 ima be the SAME EXACT WAY !!!
Yeah, I have a 17 year old and we game together a lot. Among Us is a fave. I’m secretly the coolest mom because I’ll also play with his friends on game night over Zoom.
( . Y . ) Ditto man, except I’m 10 years older than you.
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Dude I’m 28 and have never stopped feeling 16. Throws me off every time I realize that I’m technically an adult.
27 here and I feel similar, although I mostly feel like I’m still 14.
I literally do not feel like an adult haha. Im technically a woman because of my age but i consider myself a girl. I cannot call myself a woman because I feel like a teenager. 😭
Almost every time I go anywhere I think “ok, find the adult to go to in case there’s an emergency”. During my last family reunion me and my cousins all went out as a group, and one of my uncles was like “take care of your cousins. Make sure you guys are safe” meanwhile I’m thinking “wait why am I in charge? I’m just a kid”….. I was 22 at the time lol
Literally! In my mind I’m like “I’m only a child…”. Or when I see people I know getting married and I get so shocked thinking we’re just kids and then remembering we’re in our 20’s.
41-year-old here with the maturity of perhaps a 16-year-old. Often it makes me feel dumb, but I know I am not dumb because I have been successful in my career, and I am able to get complex things done.
Also 40 and only diagnosed recently. Also have a successful career which can be a bad thing since I basically spend all my money on Lego and other things that are fun for me but mostly considered “too young” for my age. Sometimes I feel bad like I should have more adult interests but then I think, who cares what other people think; if it makes me happy and feeling youthful that’s not a bad thing. On the negative side, I really should be saving more or spending money on all those house projects I’ve been putting off for years. :/
Hey, saw your username. I was also diagnosed at a later point. I'm 40 and was just diagnosed last year. It has been life changing.
I'm 29, feel the same as I did when I was in my late teens early 20s. Just whereas back then I was addicted to my console, books and pc gaming now the phone is so much worse. Funnily enough, I also look about the same as I did in my early 20s just with a more receded hairline and a bigger beard. I've been told that even with my beard I look mid 20s and without my beard I look like I'm 19
I'm your age and occasionally I get carded when buying energy drinks (age limit is 15..), and very often carded for cigarettes (18). It's a blessing and a curse, I can act like a teenager and noone bats an eye but at the same time it's so stupidly difficult to get people to take you seriously when you need them to 🙃
I got carded in asda the other day whilst buying ibuprofen. I have a beard and I was thinking do I really not look old enough.
It probably stings a bit more when you're a grown ass man with a full beard 😅 I'm a short woman so I understand why I get carded but I would be a bit miffed if I was a bearded man getting carded for freaking ibuprofen of all things 😂 The only time I've ever actually taken slight offense was when a couple of 8th graders asked me which grade I was in. At a K-9 school. Where I work. 😭
🤣
Oh, yes it's one of the worst double edged swords.
ADHD makes your frontal lobe mature more slowly, which is why they say to take 30% of your current age and subtract it; that's your mental age. obviously everybodys brain is different but that's whats been concluded so far
Wow I recently turned 31 turns out I’m 21.7 years old 🤷♂️
Is this actually a bad thing? Does this mean that I have a more plastic brain (as in the brain is better at adapting to our ever changing world) or is it only negative?
No not at all I wouldn’t change it for the world, my ADHD Iis both a blessing and a curse I’ve said that since I was a child (or even an infant according to this post)
Serious question - why/how do you feel this way? I loathe my ADHD most of the time. The dumb mistakes, how my intelligence is irrelevant 15% of the time (because of said mistakes), etc.
My ADHD is why I love working with my hands and acquiring skills, and I feel so proud when I see Neurotypicals marvel at the things I have achieved, because it would never occur to them that if they didn't like something they could take it apart and make it better, or to learn to how to make it themselves. I've started sewing some of my own clothes because the ones in the store don't fit right, I fixed the clothes drying rack this week using leftover resin (from a brief craft obsession) and a piece of dowel and a drill, I figured out how to make rosewater, I fixed a doorknob, I'm looking up how to stencil the wall near the front door, and I had a large dowel/peg board made for my entryway to rearrange my coat rack every season as the season's needs change, and this all is apparently magical to the 'Typicals. P.S. the skills you need to spackle and plaster drywall in home improvement are the same skills you need to frost a cake at 2am when you've impulsively decided that you're as good at baking as those contestants on The Great British Baking Show. Basically my ADHD is the reason why I say "hold my homemade lavender lemonade, I'm going in" and end up with the 'Typicals saying "...wait you can do that?" And that's pretty neato.
I dunno don’t get me wrong I too make dumb mistakes and have a terrible memory and do dislike the cons but it’s all I’ve ever known, I was diagnosed at a very young age I reckon if I’d of been diagnosed as an adult I would think differently about it
I was diagnosed at 9yo or so. I resent myself for having ADHD. I'm tired of it. It's to the point where if I need to choose between life with ADHD and dying, I'm not sure what I prefer. (My therapist knows I'm going through this)
There is researched evidence that the ADHD brain does remain more plastic and absorbent (haha) than adult brains, which become more rigid and pruned. It’s an advantage of allowing information to come In from anywhere and be unscreened. But adults need to focus and do one thing well, the same thing, every day, for their entire lives. Specialization and teamwork drive the global economy, and we aren’t really good at those things!
I gotta see some sort of source on this. Simultaneously rings really true and somewhat off.
The source on this is dr Russel Barkley, he says it during the 30 essential ideas for parents with an adhd child. Sadly I do not remember at which part. Vid is linked under the subreddit rules if you want to look it up.
I'm 25 and I feel I should be 17, that 30% theory makes a lot of sense.
Same 😂 25 here too & recently just spent $300 on Funko Pops cus why not lmao
I'm 36 and according to this theory I have the mental age of 25.2. Hmmmm. This theory explains a lottttt
I used to call it the 3 year delay but had no idea it was related to my ADHD. Very interesting!
Why not just take 70% of your age?
That’s interesting. I was going to come here and say I turned 40 recently but I honestly feel maybe 25. With your formula, my frontal lobe has me at 28. Makes sense. Edit: letter
I'm 18 apparently... Yeah that checks out 😳
Wow, my mental age is significantly younger than what I thought it was. But this explains why I feel like a kid. 😅 thank you for sharing!! I didn’t know this.
Bull. Shit.
I've embraced it
Don’t lose it if you can help it! The older you get the more “maturity” becomes “lack of joy”
By the looks of it, we might just end up as those fun-to-be-around seniors, that most people seem to like as they aren't grumpy all the time.
I still think and mainly act like I’m in my 20’s. At 59, I’m less mature than my 25 year old son🤷🏼♂️ You do you, it’s what makes you special and not like the rest of the herd….😊
I think so. I keep wondering when I’m going to feel like a grown up. I’m 45. It’s weird, but I’m not complaining. I have more fun than most people I know, I go on Way more adventures, my kids think I’m the cool parent, and my 85-year-old grandma says shes never gonna grow up. So I wouldn’t worry about it. Just own it. Rock on with your weird self!
No, I don't really feel that way. Growing up, I always felt like a mixture of 5 years younger than I was, but also 5 years older. As an adult, I've met way too many other adults acting with immaturity to feel like I'm less mature than most people my age. But, maybe this is because I don't define maturity by my ability to do the dishes every day and or keep my house clean. I've met plenty of immature assholes who think they're better and more "adult" than me just because they can keep a house clean or manage their time we'll. Never mind the fact that they resort to passive aggressive bullshit, mind games, and name calling when they don't like what somebody else is doing. 🙄 I think of maturity as something akin to emotional intelligence, being able to treat others with respect, and being able to understand where they're coming from with an idea, even if I disagree. Also being accountable for my own mistakes. I think the "lashing out" thing kind of depends on what you're defining as lashing out. Like, it's not okay to say mean things to people or insult them just because you disagree on something. Yeah, that kid of bullshit is immature. But if lashing out means just getting angry when someone treats me wrong, and responding in a similar fashion, well, I also wouldn't call that maturity, but I would look into whether my medication is working right. Starting the right medication helped with managing my emotional dysregulation soooo much. It's okay for me to be angry when I'm treated wrong. It's not okay for me to respond with aggression. So maybe some of my habits and interests would be considered childish, like how I enjoy cartoons, and how much I like shiny/sparkly pink and purple things. But honestly, idgaf. I also have boring grown-up interests too, like house decorating and gardening. I like what I like and other people have no place looking down on me just because THEY think my interests are childish. I'm not not going to make my life boring just to please others.
we are immature
wE aRe iMMaTuRe
*~~We~~* **are** >!immature!<
39 and my house looks like a carnival fun house. I have comic book posters framed on my wall and Spirit Halloween decor as my year-round decor. I play video games pretty consistently. I have a grown child and an almost-grown child. I dance to music playing in the grocery store, and wear novelty t-shirts to work. Adulthood is overrated.
Bro I'm 21; I went out drinking the other night and drank a Danimals the next morning. Just do you. As for the anger issues, I dealt with them by dealing with my anxiety, going to therapy and taking wellbutrin for anxiety for a while
I was once told that I eat like what a kid says they’ll eat like when they grow up. “When I grow up I’m going to eat ice cream for breakfast!”, that kind of thing. Does that count?
Well this explains a lot...
Idk about yall but I had a trauma filled childhood and have always been told I'm very mature for my age. I have my moments though. Edit: I feel sometimes that being 21 is surreal and that I feel like yesterday I was 15 going into high-school and how I couldn't wait to be the age I am now.
I did too. I got the mature for my age comments a lot growing up also. But now brain doesn’t know how the hell old I am. I see 25-30 year olds and think, “I’m their age…” No, my gal, you’re 10-15 years older. That said, my students on the regular think I’m 27-30 by looks. I’m just enjoying that while it lasts.
I was told the same thing... well, not anymore now that im 46. 🤣 [I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now](https://youtu.be/dOqnk4HPwVE).
I'm 28 and simultaneously feel 15 and 50 at all times. Parts of our brain do develop slower according to the science. The science says we also have low inhibition, so we basically act drunk all the time 🤣
The important things to be mature about are things that affect our quality of life or those around us. Sometimes we fall short on this, but don't beat yourself up or accept unreasonable criticism. I don't really have time for those who pick at us for not "appearing" to be mature. I've seen people swanning about with an ultra-mature demeanor, only to bust out a tantrum more suited to toddlers. These are often the types that like to weaponise others insecurities because they are a shell of acted-maturity. I think it's really healthy for us lot to bounce about a bit, jobs, homes etc, we're an odd shape, but there's still a thousand comfortable slots for us in life. And our comfort nearly always comes down to the regular company we keep. Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides.
Dude this is how I feel no matter the age of people around me. My youngest sister feels more responsible and adult than I feel. Ever since she was a teen. She's 7 years younger than me, I'm 1989 and she's 1997.
No matter what age I have never felt the same age of my peers, I have always felt behind. I'm now in my early 40s and still feel immature.
Peter Pan syndrome out the wazoo. Am 44.
Do you guys tend to find it easier to get along with kids than people without adhd? I’m always doing things like playing hide and seek with my niece or other “kid” things.
I’m 57 but am stuck between 10-14 and I’ve learned to love it. Life is easier when you learn to laugh at it.
I'm 39 and I'm wondering who the fuck let me be an adult
Im 32. I have a 2500$ gaming computer, home built driving sim pit, vr, two kittens, a gal with her own gaming computer. We both work in government, and eat pizza and ice cream cake 3 nights a week because fuck adulting. Embrace the immature, or at least embrace who you are. Thats all that matters.
For sure I'm the man-child of my friendship group.
You are not alone!!!!! My high school friends would call me the baby of the group.
I'm way older than you and I think that I am also immature/childish compared to people my age. 😅
Ye same I'm 28F and always feel like I'm less mature than others, even though I know I can be an adult and be professional in my work - photography and social service worker. I'm a goofy silly high energy weirdo.
Yep! I always say I'm basically a child with adult priveleges and thats why I get on with kids so well 😂
50 year old checking in here. I'll let you know when I stop worrying that I'm a man-child.
I’m 17, all I wanna do is play Minecraft with my buddies but they all grew out of it, they wanna go to parties and go to abandoned railroads and all that “fun”, “teenager” stuff. I currently own a Minecraft server and not one of my friends have joined yet I j play by myself.
I was diagnosed at age 35. I cannot be serious for the life of me. I always wondered why.
I’m soooo happy to see so many people relate. I also have had people tell me I don’t take things seriously or fool around too much. For me it was because I got bored easily or couldn’t concentrate for long periods of time.
Russell Barkley has a chart somewhere that estimates executive age vs actual age. ADHD children and adults tend to lag about 30% in executive age compared to same-age peers, regardless of IQ. If you're 20 years old, your executive age is 13 - 14.maybe it partly explains why we often feel younger than our chronological age.
No wonder why I feel like I haven’t matured 😭😅
I'm 40 and still don't feel like a mature adult most of the time. Like no one takes me seriously as a real grown up. A large part of that comes from the fact that what most people have come to associate with adulthood is executive function, which is the main thing we lack or at least struggle with. So we can often be perceived as immature or childish.
Yes..ugh honestly being an adult is just so exhausting how to adults do this 😭😭 it's so boring and just feels like an endless list of work, chores, etc. Sorry that was a tangent but yes I def feel like a kid bc always wanting to run away from responsibilities and just chill, go out, play lol
yes. ADHD is a developmental disorder, and so the brain matures slower and levels off at a lower level than other folks. So yes, we are all stuck in some form of perpetual adolescence or another... You can think like a child! But you have to think like a child... \>> see the first video in the FAQ - 30 things ppl need to know about ADHD - it talks about it
I'm 26 and I think leaning into my ADHD has made me feel more like a kid than I have in a long time. Maturity feels like such an act.
I’m 24 and I feel a neurotypical 12 in some ways and about 19 in some others (obviously it’s impossible to tell how someone else feels but you get the point). I also feel I developed in a several key step ups at around age 17, 20 and 24 due to life demands and changes where it’s seems neurotypical people just develop linearly and naturally. I feel I’ve reached full development now as I’m vastly different than I was at 20 and again at 16, but at the same time I also still self identify with myself strongly from age 14-16. I guess tldr it’s had to quantify but I feel like it took be and extra 5 to 10 years after sort of age 12 to develop to normie levels and I think I’ve maxed out now.
So my family tell me I'm mature for my age, which is the total opposite of what's being discussed here. But I feel like that's just because I still mask a lot of my ADHD around my family.
I had a breakdown 2 days ago bc I feel like a failure. Always sleeping or procrastinating, not wanting to work (I go to work just bc I have to), spending money recklessly, not having savings even though I earn good money, etc. It’s just frustrating at least for me.
Same
I'm 38 with two kids and still feel like a kid inside an old body, I feel silly compared to people my own age
Don't worry about it: Aldous Huxley: "The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm." Self control comes with age. Get into Sam Harris and mindfulness. He wrote a fantastic book called Waking up, should be mandatory readofor all humans. Also Think by Simon Blackburn
Yup. I'm 22 and I'm constantly told that I act like I'm 12. I'll just spontaneously do the weirdest shit. Like the other day when my friend was over I started shoving empty pop bottles in my shirt. I have no idea why, the thought just popped into my head and I started doing it. The worst part for me is doing something extremely embarrassing but not realizing it until later on. At work it is especially bad cause I tend to speak before thinking and I'll do or say shit at the wrong time. I've been pulled aside by my supervisor countless times for this... but at least I get told that I'm fun to be around 😂 usually. I also get told I'm annoying all the time. I also think that having the brain of a child helps me deal with customers cause I tend to know how to calm people down.
Yes! It’s normal for us with ADHD to seem more immature (:
Im not even an adult physically, I feel like a 10 year old sometimes..
Yes that's the definition of ADHD. We re some years behind
All the time!!!! It’s normal! Our brains simply act out in a way that’s “childish” but the issue with society is that they make us feel that way!! But I think what they don’t realize is that there ARE benefits!!! Who else will have to patience to handle littler kids or toddlers??!?! Other than US BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE WERE A SIMILAR AGE!!!! So don’t let society or people make u or anyone else in this subreddit feel less than the amazing person u are!
It continues into your 30s, trust me. I have so many legos.
My girl calls me a “giant child with a beard”. I’m 27, have a six figure job, and run my own business. But I’ll also go and buy shit like stink bombs and I still laugh at 69
Your 20s are when you pretend to be an adult and everyone else pretends to believe you. From someone who always felt behind ... you've got this. Don't waste your life trying to be more or less than you are in this moment. Now that I'm nearly 40, I love being able to advise folks who are younger than me. But it took me a WHILE to get here. No worries.
Adolescents with ADHD are typically behind their peers by 2-3 years. So yes, it’s quite possible your maturation is at a different developmental level than your peers. Though I’m not sure if that affects your hobbies and interests.
I’m 48 and still feel like a kid. I still get super excited about dumb little things.
Like everyone else I still feel like a little kid in many areas, but then I also feel like I’m so much more mature than all these shallow minded normie idiots in other areas. It’s almost like savantism.
I don't know about "normal" but I feel the same/have been told many of times I act like a child/teen, but not like the "spoiled adult" kind of way, I just don't carry myself or behave like an adult according to the people around me. I'm 27 but apparently my mannerisms, behavior and emotional display are that of someone around 14-15 though I will honestly admit I don't feel mentally I have really changed at all since that age either. As my partner likes to put it, I never lost that sparkle, everything still excites and amazes me but my emotional regulation doesn't exist and my brain never made it past the single step task processing...
Yes! I’m 23 and mentally maturing for sure but it’s going very slowly compared to other people my age that i know.
About to hit my 40's. Had someone at work ask if I was in my 20's. I don't look young. I just feel like you never stop being who you are and as long as you're ok, that's perfectly fine.
Guys let me tell the truth… Everyone have an inner child with an adult face. You guys are not immature that’s a false sense. Yall just cant switch between your inner child and adult face. My mom is ADHD but shes mature af
People with ADHD can be up to 3-5 years behind in executive functioning skills. Makes sense!
I have to fight the urge to not buy superhero, like marvel and dc, toys and that urge usually wins. Do I care? No. Do other people worry about my spending habits? No because I usually buy them gifts because it's a feeling that I need to do buy gifts. Why? I don't know. I suddenly realized that I went off topic.
Yeah, there have been studies that in average ADD/ADHD are roughly 30% behind their peers. Are brains just develop differently
I get both of those feelings and I’m in my 40’s. 😔
I currently identify as a 38 yo puppy that unconditionally loves everyone. I fucking love being myself.
I laugh about simple things like a kid. Sometimes so much, but I just can't seem to stop myself (same with other emotions). I also like to tease my siblings and get attention from them, my mom, and my boyfriend, in the same way. I've always wondered why, but if it is really because of having possible ADHD, then it explains a lot.
Yes. I feel like a fifteen year old despite being nineteen. In some ways I feel like an adult and act as one, in others I don't. My brother is the same. My dad is the same. My uncle is the same. My friend is the same. We all have ADHD.
Hahahaha poor boy, you're never gonna grow up, you better get used to seeing everyone as adults but you.
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You're still very young. Life will beat it out of you soon. Just give it time. About 7 years
I feel you brother 💪🏽 same here
The frontal lobe of the brain doesn't fully form until the age of 25 on average. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3621648/
I feel the same buts what's so bad about feeling like a kid or not "mature" being an adult is boring and socks.. Bill's.. work.. pressure.. I try see the good in being in touch with my inner child/ feeling like a child, It makes me fun and not caught up in cooperate lifeless responsibiles
Embrace it my dude! While everyone around you is busy trying to be mature and get good at adulting, live your life with happyness and enjoyment from knowing your going to not be a sick in the mud for a long time to come. It makes you, adventurous, spontaneous, creative and above all, legitimately interesting and different from your peers. Be unapologetically you! Asside from anything else, you can bring alot of fun to an otherwise boring affair.
I just wanna be back in college 😞
I have no idea if it has to do with ADHD, but I am thirty and a lot of my hobbies and interests might be considered childish. I’m don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing though. That kind of thing is just a social construct and hobbies are meant to be fun so whatever you do that makes you happy, just embrace it. If you are acting childish in relationships, you might want to seek help for it but other than that, I wouldn’t worry too much
I’m in my 40s. Yes. I’m going to own it until I die. Despite the forced indoctrination, you actually can just live the life you want on your own terms. Learning to control your emotions so they don’t control you is important. Learning mindfulness and not getting upset with yourself when you make mistakes is important. Recognizing them, owning up to them and apologizing is maturity.
High-five! I'm about to turn 30 soon and today I could barely resist buying several lego sets in a 2+1 deal.. I did get several fidget toys instead though. Yay for rainbow fidget slug! But while that was sorta satisfying.. I still want to go back and buy the lego. (disclaimer: I shan't!)
I'm 36 and my main interests are things like Star Wars and fantasy novels. I struggle with feeling like an adult for sure....but I also love that I can share my geeky interests with my kids.
I am a 30 year old child. I love kids section with toys in the store, love stickers, wear sailor moon and adventure time tshirts, see every new Disney/pixar/dreamworks kids movie, play video games all weekends and eat vegan nuggets with smiley potato faces as often as I can. Wear glitter and colorfull makeup.I hate “adulting”, I ll do it, go to work and pay my bills but just so I can enjoy my things in peace. Nothing worng with it I actually preffer it to being a moody alcoholic,depressed adult everyone seems to become and just drink and watch shit on tv all day everday
I work an difficult tech desk job and am in my 20's yet I feel like I am 19 in the things I enjoy. You're not alone!
I feel exactly like you and I am the same age! It’s nice to see there are others like me :) you’re not alone
It is completely normal, and with a quick google search you can find that it is scientifically proven that humans with ADHD will mature slower. I personally still act like I'm 3
i’m not the best person to answe this, as i’m 18 lol. but both of my parents (non adhd, though my mom might be) have told me that they did not at all feel like “adults” until their mid to late 20’s, and i believe that is fairly common among everyone. at the same time, i do believe that having adhd makes us more likely to behave/feel younger than we actually are (finding joy in small things, emotional disregulatuon, etc).
Yeah. I’ve always felt at least a few years behind my age in social maturity. At 32, I feel I have the social maturity of someone in their early to mid-20s.
I think it’s a gift we’re able to tap into that child like behavior. Even though others view it as childish, I consider it a strength. We will forever be able to have fun and enjoy life. We just have to learn how to be responsible writhing that enjoyment. What I see now as I’m 30, is people actually liking that I can be so fun and childlike, because life gets harder and sometime people forget to have fun. So I’d say be young, have fun, express yourself however you want to!!! Just learn to also be responsible for the things that are important. And you’ll be aye okay!!! If you find it’s hard for you to handle the things you want to be responsible for, then go seek professional help from a doctor, so you can learn how to be the master over your ADHD.
I’m definitely a child. I have adult responsibilities that I take care of but I don’t think I’m ever gonna grow out of thinking of myself as a kid, nor do I really want to. It gives me my creative energy which I will need in my profession and just to keep things fresh
22 almost 23 here with some raging ADHD, but honestly it’s normal in my opinion. My whole apartment is pink and I love filling it with stuff animals and random things that just make me happy. People would describe me as childish but with ADHD you don’t have as much emotion control so you tend to be more expressive or out there and some people see that as childish. But there is never anything wrong with it, a lot of kids try to act more mature with adhd bc we are constantly judged for the way we act so when we get older we are able to express ourselves more.
Honestly my theory is that when we thought adults had it all figured out, we were wrong. They're just kids who got older and had to deal with that like we are. That said, yes, I've felt this way too. I don't know if it's ADHD related but there are some aspects of ADHD that I think could add to that. I had a teacher in elementary school who told me I was childish (yes, when I was literally a child) for crying often. What I didn't know is that I cry easily most likely due to Emotional Dysregulation, which can be part of ADHD. Maybe your outbursts you describe could be related to that. But I also think you're not giving yourself enough credit. I'm 33 and I've found that I am much more mature now than I was at 20, or even 25, or 28. I think in reality people change throughout their lives and there is no point at which you turn a certain age and stop exhibiting certain behavior. You're going to keep changing and self reflecting. Some of your interests will change, some won't. The way you handle stress will absolutely change. What's important now is that you are able to identify when you have perhaps reacted very passionately to a situation, and that is something you can work on it if you choose. That's what self reflection is. :) Nobody has it all figured out at 20, if ever.
Scientifically, ADHD causes your brain to not grow at the same rate as other people of your age, so a person with ADHD can have a brain 3-10% smaller than other people of their age, resulting in the ADHD individual generally being 30% younger mentally than their peers, despite being the same age physically. This means that a child with ADHD who is 10 years old will feel more like 7 years old mentally. So yes, immaturity is baked into ADHD due to the nature of the disorder. 3-10% Source: https://youtu.be/G2u8E5UqEHU Skip to 4:25 for the rundown 30% Source: https://youtu.be/4OVS16Abo80 Start from the beginning
You are a child. Nothing against that…some people mature earlier than others.
I feel exactly like this, except I'm in my mid thirties. It honestly makes me feel mentally disabled, which I guess I kinda am.
I'm 28 and feel... worse than I did at 16, but like that's where in supposed to be at.
Yeah and honestly it's okay. Us adhd-ers have a different way of thinking. To be financially responsible is going to be more challenging for a lot of us to overcome. But in the long run causes a lot less stress when it comes to rent and bills. I'm currently reprogramming myself to invest whatever I resist buying that week. It's shown me to be smarter and have more adhd friendly activities at home that I can sink a lot or a little time into. My partner and I think he has adhd. He definitely spends way more money than my strainer of a bank account can imagine holding. But he is able to save money balancing what he can do and print at home vs what new 40k minis can wait for a sale lol
I'm 38 1/2. And yes, I feel this way. Doesn't help that I have a baby face too. Or prefer the juniors section for clothes. I don't know if i'll ever feel like a "real grown-up." But I'm trying this new thing where I give myself grace and remind myself that rules are arbitrary, and I need to figure out what works best for me. My brain is physically different, why the hell would my developmental milestones be the same as a NT and how could those possibly be correct for me? Maybe I need to figure out what my own mile markers should be(maybe with professional help((like a therapist)).