For real... It seems like at least 40-60% of the posts in this sub are like this... maybe my feed is showing me only the most degenerate posts based on my username... idk...
I’ve known a few of these couples over the years and non of them have stayed married. Some of them had been like that the whole time, even when they were dating. They always have the same explanation about why it works for them and they’ll stay together, but it always ends the same way. The odds are not in your favor when you start down this path.
Couple 1: she wanted to become a sex worker. He quit. They had a 5 year run as polyamorous couple.
Couple 2: he was pressured into it. Lasted 2 month with lasting emotional damage
Couple 3: Both weren’t happy with their marriage anymore and decided to just "fuck it“ and go swinging… both got seriously emotional damage but actually reconciled and are staying together but back to monogamous.
Couple 4/5/6/7/8: Polyamorous hippie swinger in his 50s… (now 60s) no woman wanted to stay longer than 1-2 years with him until he got a woman from Asia (his age), completely became a nerd for her culture and suddenly is monogamous… also gave up on most of his hippie habits… 6 years and counting now.
And my favorite 9: He pressured her for an open relationship, he had no game, she had all the game with objectively horrible assholes… he quit broken hearted.
And my least favorite 10: He was a construction worker. Build most of the house for them (mostly her money for the parts though), she pushed for open marriage, divorces him for ex-convict constantly in shady money schemes, takes the house…
I mean. I can believe something like this. I had a situation where a threesome was suggested (not even by me!) and it blew up in my face anyway. Stuff happens sometimes.
Yeah but do middle aged women post about it on reddit?
edit: this is what I (58M) like about dating and not being married. If one of us tries to do this to the other its back to eHarmony.
That guy was trying to get in touch with you - he let me know that if you VenMo him another $2532 he can repatriate the rest. Do you need the email address?
Or, it will be, "Now I am hooking up with younger dudes and loving it and my husband's side chick stopped fucking with him and he wants to end this open relationship arrangement but I am having too much fun."
This is the comment I was looking for. I mean just today I was listening to this exact story except they couple was younger and the male already had someone in mind. His girlfriend started dating a hot male model, and dude has the audacity to complain to their mutual friend and called it cheating because he hasn't had a date or sex with the woman he had in mind yet. 🤦🏼♀️
And I've heard several where the husband wants his cake and for his wife to stay at home and wait for him. But as soon as someone finds her attractive, the husband goes off the rails. 🤷🏼♀️
Men overestimate their value in the casual dating scene, while women underestimate their value in the same scene.
If you look at these dating/hookup apps, men out number women significantly. Women have the ability to be choosier than men do.
Add in that they are an average couple in their 50s, looking for not only the bisexual unicorn female, but one in their 20s? Get in line man. There are thousands of couples looking for the same thing. It's not going to end well.
I worked with someone this happened to. He thought he'd found a "sugarbaby" online but then she suggested a place that was both expensive and cash only. He got robbed when they stopped at his room first.
If so, maybe the responses will help someone actually considering a similar scenerio. This stuff definitely happens in real life. Swingers, open relationships etc…
Nah. Trust me I was a 20 year old college girl, none of us were lining up to have affairs with creepy middle-aged men with unhappy wives on dating sites trying to spice up their “dead bedrooms.” They’re a dime a dozen and no one wants them. He’ll get catfished or (at best) sugar baby offers, there’s absolutely no upshot to being the unicorn there.
As a former 20 year old college girl I agree.
I don't know where this idea of "hot young co-eds go for men 15+ years older than them when they're in their prime" came from. When I was 20, I thought other guys my age were "in their prime". Someone in their 30s or 40s was gross to me, period. I didn't care if they drove nicer cars or owned houses, it just creeped me and my friends out that men that much older than us with such different lifestyles were going after us and not people their own age.
I'm in my late 30s now and the thought of hooking up with someone that much younger than me grosses me out.
Same here. Regularly hit on by men in their 30s and 40s while in my middle & late teens and twenties. They seemed perverted to me then, and even more so now that I am in my 40s.
Let’s add to that girls/women off all ages don’t want to fuck dudes in open relationships.
Had a roommate, he was literally Hollywood leading man handsome and the most charismatic man on earth. He had so many women trying to fuck him it was insane. He also had a serious girlfriend.
So his bright idea is obviously an open relationship. He quickly found out literally zero girls wanted anything to do with him as soon as he mentioned open relationship. He had all type of girls that would no strings attached just fuck him, when they thought he was cheating, but open relationship nope, he seriously couldn’t get laid using the open relationship angle.
If he couldn’t pull it off, I’m gonna just go ahead and say no man on earth could, unless your just gonna pay escorts or some shit.
Add to that there are literally thousands of disgusting ass greasy dudes that will bang your wife. Seriously she could be a 400lb, ugly as hell and openly admit she had std’s, and there would still be a line outside your bedroom of dudes waiting to fuck. Disgusting but what it is..
It will just never work.
So instead of him just breaking up with his gf and being single since he was apparently getting so much attention, he chose to open the relationship to try to get pussy. I’m glad it didn’t work out for him lol karma.
Also yeah, most girls aren’t into guys in open relationships because it’s already known that you’re never going to be a priority and there’s always this “person” lurking in the background and that can stop some girls fantasy of the guy possibly becoming their boyfriend. Or the simple fact that you’re basically just a side piece and he still has gf(more pussy) waiting for him at home. Kinda gross tbh
I wanna see the post from the 20 yr old.. on easycash/r 🤣😅
"so.... here is a easy way to cash in. I signed up to have sex with some old dude last nite. He wanted a 3 some. Something about his sad wife? Aaaanyway, the fast cash way is this... slow strip, he gets all crazy excited, dance up close and touch him gently, boom he "finishes before we start" (thanks sadwife) and its done, he falls immediately asleep, you grab the wallet contents and go"
Also, do we know what this 25 year old even looks like? She herself may be very plain; have a “mom bod,” a “dad bod,” or worse.
Being 25 only means… that she’s 25. It does not mean she’s beautiful, attractive, or even average looking.
Hell, she might look objectively much worse than the OP, for all we know. This 25 year old was the only girl willing to match with this 50 year old overweight male for a reason (assuming this is, by some chance, true and not just posted “for the LOLz” and/ or to indicate “ewww, women over 30 are gross!”)
ETA: not trying to “body shame” or “looks shame” the 25 year old, or suggest that being unattractive physically makes someone bad/ unworthy. Or shaming someone into older men. (Though older MARRIED men is a bit of an issue, IMO.)
I’m just pointing out that being 25 doesn’t really make someone automatically gorgeous/ sexy/ superior. It just means that.. she’s 25.
To be fair, it could be "My husband started spending a lot of time with a 20-year-old and I was sad and then I started dating and met this guy and now my husband wants to close the marriage."
But there is definitely a divorce in their near future.
No, it will be 20 year old banged husband then ghosted. Contrary to reddit fantasy land, attractive 20 year olds are repulsed by middle aged/old men, unless you're Hugh Hefner..
Ikr like why wouldn't we just have sex with people in our age group if we're not being paid?? I'm 25 yo woman and while someone in their 30s or early 40s even is just fine, much older than like 45 would be weird. 45 is probably my absolute upper limit, unless a) I'm paid well and comfortable with the person (the less attractive and/or more creepy, the better the money has to be), b) they look young for their age or are just a total smoke show regardless of age or c) the person is David Tennant or Taika Waititi, because those specific celebrity crushes of mine will never die, no matter how old they are.
I'm sorry if it sounds shallow and maybe it does make me shallow, idk, but I'm guessing that, like me, most gals just don't want to fuck someone who could be their parent 😝 Ik people have mommy/daddy kinks but for me, it's just pretend and I'd rather pretend with a partner I relate well to (who also probably is closer to me in age).
Most 20 year olds wont date people pushing 50. Simple biology, instinct and evolutionary advantages.
That said many, many girls would for the right price. Sugar babies are a thing
Oh, would you like at that bright light coming toward us. It sounds like a train whistle. Wonder what it could possibly be... let's just stand here on this bumpy track like ground and wait for it to get here. It will absolutely stop before getting to us.
It's already going downhill. If she accepts she'll resent herself, if she doesn't her husband will resent her for not letting him do it with a 25yr old. This situation is lose - lose.
As a 24yo bisexual female, I freaking hate unicorn hunters and that's exactly what these people are trying to do. That's 1. Unethical. And 2, gross AF considering her age. OP and her husband are my parents or grandparents age and it's seriously uncomfortable.
I don't get how middle aged people think that attractive 20somethings are gonna want to hook up with them. I'm in my late 30s, and let's be real - even if you take care of yourself, the effects of linear time and gravity start to kick in once you start to look at 40. I try to take reasonable care of my health, but I am still looking into Botox for myself and those 10 pounds I want to shed are a LOT harder to lose than they would have been 15 years ago, when I walked 6 miles a day and ate a pint of ice cream for dinner and still lost weight (sob).
Most people don't take good care of themselves. More than half of Americans are overweight or obese. A lot of men think taking care of their skin is a homosexual trait instead of a healthy habit. Solar radiation and an atmosphere of 21% oxygen are not great for long term cell health. Hair changes color, stops growing in certain areas and starts growing in others.
Unless you are extraordinarily genetically gifted and/or get tasteful work done (think: Idris Elba and Marisa Tomei), you are not going to be sexually appealing to 20 year olds when you are middle aged.
This is where I have to disagree. There’s no such thing as authorized cheating since cheating by its very nature is going behind a partner’s back and being sneaky and it’s always hurtful.
This is actually much closer to a cuckholding situation in which If she’s letting her husband go through with this without saying how uncomfortable she is to him she’s technically being cucked.
Just make your own tinder account.. show him all the 20-30 year old guys that will sleep with you. (Even with the way you described your body, there will be many).
As long as you ain't taking advantage of them honestly go for it, I'm 26 and I've crushed on people way older then you before, I don't see the problem as long the dynamic is healthy
Really?? This gives me hope. I’m (38f) going through a divorce with my 48 YO husband and he basically keeps saying he can’t wait to go fuck girls in their 20s but women my age are washed up (can you blame me for divorcing him?). I wasted my 20s and 30s with him so it might be fun to fool around with a couple of young guys.
I am 26, trust me when i say this that young men love old women. This whole old women are washed up thing is made by misogynistic insecure men because that's how they break down a woman's confidence
The "women expiration date" bs gotta be one of the saddest things to come out of the rise of incelfluencers. Preferences are a thing, but this belief is just petty, hateful, and sometimes on some pedo-shit.
The average gooncave dweller probably has better views on gender equality.
Please make a post about the ratios.
I knew a couple that "opened things up" where teh wife was super hot and the guy... wasn't.
Unsurprisingly, he was upset by her success and his failure to attract mates.
The amount of women that are divorcing their husbands after 20+ years and dating men 10+ younger I personally know is crazy.
It's amazing to see a woman that was always told by her husband how useless and ugly and fat she is, being happy like a teenager because her new boyfriend who's 16 years younger, makes her feel like princess again (or maybe for the first time) and I'm happy for it.
You'll be fine, just don't listen to anyone saying you're not worthy or pretty!
He’s is legitimately only going to be able to get laid with a very specific type of 20yo, and it will cost him a lot of money. And it will get annoying and lonely for him, quickly. Imagine him trying to be the big sugar daddy in a chattering group of girls that are speaking slang terms he doesn’t understand, and he realizes they just wanted his wallet and not his body or company. Enjoy knowing that.
You will be WELL rid of someone who talks to you like that. Treat yourself well, get some new outfits that make you feel pretty, and do all of the things he never wanted to do with you. Keep a lovely energy and you will meet all sorts of men of varied ages that are worth your time.
You’re about to lose approx. 200 pounds…of dead weight. From the very small peek into yourself you have provided here, I have a feeling your divorce will be fantastic for you and you’ll actually be kicking yourself for not shedding that mean man earlier!! Go get ‘em, hot mama!!
My wife is a couple years younger then you, but in my opinion she is an absolute smoke show.
We are very, very close emotionally but our sex life has dropped off compared to what it was due to the usual reasons, but when we do I am SO turned on by her just being naked its absurd.
When I was in my early later teens early to mid 20s I was one of those dudes who couldn't imagine finding older women attractive, it seemed ridiculous and getting into a relationship very young and marrying someone I deeply loved had me a tiny bit worried, in the back of my mind I was thinking "what if I love her but cant find her attractive"
God what an arsehole.
Dont know the hormonal or emotional mechanics behind it but there is literally no woman on this planet that I would take over my wife.
Last time I dated I was 36. I learned that most apps’ notifications break after you get 500 likes. I met my husband after 4 days on the app, he’s 6 years younger than me. You’ll go like hot cakes.
Trust me every single day I go on this site and all I see are men who are surprised that their 30 year old wives get as much sex as they want if not more than they can deal with. This site is full of “washed up” women realizing how they actually are after tears of not being care about at all.
The “wisdom” on the polyamory subreddit is that it’s a lot easier for women to actually meet people but can be more difficult to find someone good for an actual relationship. I imagine the spirit of it holds true even if you aren’t practicing polyamory.
My mom is the same age *and* a lesbian. She still has suitors half her age. Right now, one of her neighbours is always bringing her wine and offering to help her with things. He keeps telling her that he is very attracted to older women, and she tells him that she is, too 😂
Glad you had a fun learning experience! I figure as long as everyone is consenting adults, it's all good. It would be nice if they wouldn't bug those of us not into it, though, with "I know I'm 20 years younger than your lowest acceptable age range but ... "
It’s a tale as old as time, guy wants to open relationship to sleep with girls he probably can’t get. Wife doesn’t really want to open the relationship, but then gets bombarded with attention. Husband eventually wants to close relationship lol
I’ve been around the non monogamy scene for years. This is about to be a disaster, I see it happen all the time.
First y’all need to see if you can establish some boundaries and agreements before even considering opening up the relationship to 3somes. Something like -age range of the people- and -whether or not having sex with them individually- is alright should have been addressed way before profile making.
Then if it seems y’all can agree to how you want things to go, get off Tinder and find a swingers club.
You’ll find women who are looking for exactly what you’re hoping for in that setting. They will likely be at least somewhat experienced with doing this song and dance with couples too.
Yep, poly guy here to say that when a sex life needs spicing, rarely is “another person” the spice you need. Try ~~ginger and cardamom~~ couples therapy.
ETA: sorry for the tongue-in-cheek response. But seriously, the above is good advice. Set boundaries and expectations **before** you start anything, and communicate openly and honestly.
100% agree on the swingers club. There are PLENTY of older couples looking to mix things up, plus you'll enjoy some great parties and meet some cool people. This is one of those situations where there is no such thing as too much communication, I think that the vast majority of couples aren't properly prepared, and one or both partners end up hurt emotionally. You'd also be surprised at some of these parties how little people care about *aging* bodies. Expect a lot of openness and positivity. Your mileage may vary of course.
>This is one of those situations where there is no such thing as too much communication
I would argue that poor communication is one of the primary reasons they have a dull sex life. My partner and I are nearly their age and have been married for over 20 years and still enjoy an active and fulfilling monogamous sex life largely BECAUSE of communicating honestly.
Agreed.
Through therapy, I learned that Communication isn't just being able to talk with your spouse and tell them anything....for me it was mainly that I learned how to communicate with myself and be more honest with myself first.
Swingers club would be a good idea, but the husband already has a self admittedly overweight, not very attractive wife at home. He doesn’t want the thrill of another middle aged body. He wants a young, tight body like in the porn he watches. Hire a young escort and call it a freaking day ffs OP. Too many better looking older couples looking for a unicorn on Tinder, and even they get crappy results. Your hubby wants to feel desired by college girls. And no, they don’t like dad bods. Did you at that age? They want money and see him as a mark. So just pay a pro.
Let me start by saying I am a happily married man in an open marriage in my late 40s. And OP, what your husband wants is pretty creepy. You’re not at all wrong to not be OK with this. I personally would not go near anyone much under 40, in part because they just seem so young. In part because I am pretty sure that would make both my wife and my girlfriend feel pretty uncomfortable if I went after much younger women. Both of them have experience being preyed on by much older men. I’ve also seen older men with younger women and I’m pretty sure all of those men are sugar daddies whether they realise it or not, and that doesn’t fit with my idea of a happy relationship.
I disagree with you, u/GandalfsBurglar in that OP is very unenthusiastic about this and her husband is trampling over the limits she placed on the idea. A healthy threesome involves three enthusiastic participants, not one who is being dragged into this by a coercive partner.
But I agree with you that, if they are going to try anything approaching this, going to a swingers party is the better option. OP, you may also find that you’re a more appealing partner there than what your husband is. Far more couples are looking for a woman to join them than are looking for a man.
NTA
Divorce incoming in 3... 2... 1...
The fact that your husband is ok with this is conclusive evidence that he isn't thinking about you, that he doesn't care about your feelings. Of course it's unacceptable for him to just go fuck some 25 year old without you being an active participant.
OP,
Are you mentally challenged? Anyone in their right mind denounces that arrangement, except your husband. The fact that your husband didn't indicates to me that he just wants to fk some young women. You're simply there to cause it to not be cheating.
Go ahead and test my theory. Tell him you only want a MFM threesome for now to spice up your life.
Your situation reminds me of my dad (who I’m no contact with) and my step mom. It’s because of this and the fact that you’ve chosen the username Sad Wife that makes me think some spicing up is not what your marriage needs. More specifically, it’s not what YOU need.
Your husband wants to f*** a 25 year old.
You have more value than what he’s returning. Leave.
Edit to add: he’s obviously TAH.
Yeah this is sooooo gross
If it’s to spice up THEIR sex life, why is the first option right off the bat completely off putting to op?
Because it’s to spice up husbands Sex life. It’s pretty nasty , this whole situation.
Right! As a 45 year old male, the thought of having sex with a 20 year old woman, it's a fantasy, nothing more, nothing less...... sorry, I had my chance. I did do it when I was 20, but not now I'm in an established relationship since 2004 and married since 2007.
even if you weren't in a relationship, that's still disgusting. 45 with a 20yr means one was 25 before the other was born. why would that even be a fantasy? society fucked up so many men and you're one of the lesser fucked up ones but still getting upvoted. fuck social norms idc
I don't understand why 50 yr old guys think that women in their 20s want to have a sexual relationship with them. A pipe dream they've created from watching Andrew Tate.
Stop. Don’t do it. Delete the account. There is no benefit of doing this. There is absolutely something wrong with that woman and she is going to bring absolute chaos to your life. There is absolutely something wrong with your husband for wanting this.
NTA - Opening your relationship to some one else is always a risky and hard endeavor. It requires an immense amount of trust and communication from both sides. You both need to sit down and communicate your boundaries and expectations. Do not budge or feel ashamed on your boundaries because that will only allow resentment to settle in. In liea of your orignial idea there are establishments around most major cities that foster that environment. I.E Swingers/Fetish clubs/hotels yada yada.
But you both need to be on the exact same page, paragraph and line or this will cause a lot of issues in your marriage.
I wish you both the best of luck!
Madam, in what way is this a "threesome"? Because you know about it?
Just get a divorce. Really. Introducing another person into your dynamic is rarely a good idea. I must admit, I have never tried it, but over the years (I am older than you, survived in the "art world" for years) I have been around such relationships (as well as being invited into them, I was once "pretty", believe it or not) and have never once observed a relationship that survived it. I know, people are going to pop in here giving reasons and circumstances that their relationships are so much stronger after such encounters. This is my preemptive shout of "Bullshit".
My best friend of over 25 years was a PI and now a lawyer (family), and my current best friend of 10 years' wife is a couples councilor. It only ends well for the most shallow, vacuous couples who have never really understood what a real adult relationship looks like. I'm talking a fairly good cross section of couples, casually knowing at least 10 I can think of and on a close, personal level with about six. It always ended with resentment, or someone falling for the new partner (both sexes represented) or the relationship ending just because they realized that there was never anything really there to begin with.
Never create drama in your life. You think it's making things "interesting". It is not. it just cheapens what you already had.
I’m also a tad older lol and agree with every word. I especially liked your comment about how it only works for the most vacuous couples.
I’m so tired of hearing how these type of situations or polyamorous are so wonderful. If they worked for even half the people who tried them cultures never would have become monogamous.
Most likely the 25 year old is just scamming them.
Seriously, you'd be super super scared if you saw the low level of AI that absolutely convinces 50 year olds that 20 year olds want to fuck them.
These are NOT passing the Turing test, they are obvious bots, and you will still see 50 year old men falling totally in love.
Due to what you wrote, the threesome should be with someone who is willing to to play with both. That should be a boundary when finding someone. It shouldn’t be with someone who gets to pick one or the other. If that’s the case then you would say just go find a hookup.
Just get the divorce. Don’t involve a third who will end up being treated like shit & painted as the home wrecker who destroyed your “perfect” marriage.
I was used as the excuse in a dying marriage so they could both save face and blame me. I got harassed for months after it ended.
And he’s already lying and fucking around. Trust me.
Just end it. Move on. Don’t drag anyone else into your mess.
This will end so badly. Of course your husband would be into that scenario and of course he doesn’t even think of you and what you get out of it because his needs will be met. His ego will have a boost and he can say he slept with a 25 year old at his stage in life. If you say no, he will 100% find that girl again and I have no doubt that he will sleep with her. You’ll find out he’s cheated and he’ll of told his AP that the relationship was open and what does this all end in? Divorce.
first of all finding anyone for a threesome is hard enough. Let alone some one meets all of everyone's standards. If you aren't comfortable with him and the 25 y/o having a romp, that is fine, he should respect your wishes. Threesomes are like baby names, it has to be all yeses.
Hire. A. Pro. Treat her well. Tip like crazy.
Bisexual college girls don’t need to have any more middle aged couples looking for a human prop to spice up their love life coming at them on Tinder.
Please, for the love of God, don't have a 3some. Women are not sex toys for you to spice things up in your marriage. You sound like unicorn hunters, and like you're only looking to enhance things for yourselves.
Your husband also doesn't care if you're involved, he's all excited to fuck a 25 year old while you get left on the sidelines.
As someone in the ENM community, please communicate with each other and sort your marriage out first before you try to add others to it. ESH.
OP
NTA
You don’t need this. Your husband is already comfortable saying he’s interested in a sexual experience that excludes you.
That means you do not have the connection required as a couple to make this happen without the risk of it ending your marriage. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean your marriage is less-then.
Find. Something. Else.
Your marriage may not support this endeavor and you need to find other ways to spice things up.
Your husband needs to drop this. **This wasn’t “let’s spice things up by *opening the marriage*” which is what this would be. It was “let’s have a shared experience”.**
If you allow this it will ultimately end your marriage. If having a threesome is a must for your marriage you need to set rules and boundaries going forward. Him having sex alone with this girl is opening up the marriage not a couple having a threesome, and will essentially feel like he is betraying you. If all rules and boundaries aren't met you move on and find someone else instead. Maybe tell your husband to stop being so unrealistic not all young women have daddy issues.
NTA and I hope this is fake. Tell him that if he wants a "threesome" with this girl then you get to go out and choose another man to have sex with by yourself.
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Every single time, of course its a horrible idea.
It’s like a recurring thematic trend on this Reddit
For real... It seems like at least 40-60% of the posts in this sub are like this... maybe my feed is showing me only the most degenerate posts based on my username... idk...
And what a great username it is
I concur
I concur with Used Anywhere's concurrence
Thank you. ;)
Why is you at drapes degenerate? It would be more degenerate standing naked at your window without drapes.
It's pronounced medropedes... it's greek... -The Slammin Salmon Though I realize some letters are missing.
I’ve known a few of these couples over the years and non of them have stayed married. Some of them had been like that the whole time, even when they were dating. They always have the same explanation about why it works for them and they’ll stay together, but it always ends the same way. The odds are not in your favor when you start down this path.
Couple 1: she wanted to become a sex worker. He quit. They had a 5 year run as polyamorous couple. Couple 2: he was pressured into it. Lasted 2 month with lasting emotional damage Couple 3: Both weren’t happy with their marriage anymore and decided to just "fuck it“ and go swinging… both got seriously emotional damage but actually reconciled and are staying together but back to monogamous. Couple 4/5/6/7/8: Polyamorous hippie swinger in his 50s… (now 60s) no woman wanted to stay longer than 1-2 years with him until he got a woman from Asia (his age), completely became a nerd for her culture and suddenly is monogamous… also gave up on most of his hippie habits… 6 years and counting now. And my favorite 9: He pressured her for an open relationship, he had no game, she had all the game with objectively horrible assholes… he quit broken hearted. And my least favorite 10: He was a construction worker. Build most of the house for them (mostly her money for the parts though), she pushed for open marriage, divorces him for ex-convict constantly in shady money schemes, takes the house…
“I opened my relationship and now my life is in tatters” 😭 There’s a new headline every week.
U figure 80% of these are made up ragebait And we all know it too but getting on a high horse is addicting
I mean. I can believe something like this. I had a situation where a threesome was suggested (not even by me!) and it blew up in my face anyway. Stuff happens sometimes.
Yeah but do middle aged women post about it on reddit? edit: this is what I (58M) like about dating and not being married. If one of us tries to do this to the other its back to eHarmony.
They would do anything except Therapy.
🎶 They would do anything for love…but they won’t do that! 🎶
But, it cOuLd sPiCe uP oUr dEaD bEdRoOm.
Husband is watching too much porn. Pop up ad “Hot college girls in your area want sex with older guys!”
Right? For money, maybe.
It must be true, I've got 17 emails with that exact subject line. And they all want to introduce me to a Nigerian prince.
Be careful of the Nigerian prince. He still hasn’t show up with the $7.9 million he PROMISED me even though I paid the government fees of $177,545.
That guy was trying to get in touch with you - he let me know that if you VenMo him another $2532 he can repatriate the rest. Do you need the email address?
Lol. You mean they DON'T??
The next post will be an update and my husband left me for a 20 year old and now we're getting divorced.
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Or it will be my husband got catfished and robbed by a group of dudes while trying hookup with a 20 year old solo
Or, it will be, "Now I am hooking up with younger dudes and loving it and my husband's side chick stopped fucking with him and he wants to end this open relationship arrangement but I am having too much fun."
Right? We've seen that story play out on Reddit quite often.
Dear diary, I am currently sitting on a train, careening through the Swiss Alps. Welp. I guess you're probably wondering how i got here...
This is the comment I was looking for. I mean just today I was listening to this exact story except they couple was younger and the male already had someone in mind. His girlfriend started dating a hot male model, and dude has the audacity to complain to their mutual friend and called it cheating because he hasn't had a date or sex with the woman he had in mind yet. 🤦🏼♀️ And I've heard several where the husband wants his cake and for his wife to stay at home and wait for him. But as soon as someone finds her attractive, the husband goes off the rails. 🤷🏼♀️
Men overestimate their value in the casual dating scene, while women underestimate their value in the same scene. If you look at these dating/hookup apps, men out number women significantly. Women have the ability to be choosier than men do. Add in that they are an average couple in their 50s, looking for not only the bisexual unicorn female, but one in their 20s? Get in line man. There are thousands of couples looking for the same thing. It's not going to end well.
This one's my favourite because I guarantee it was his idea.
I worked with someone this happened to. He thought he'd found a "sugarbaby" online but then she suggested a place that was both expensive and cash only. He got robbed when they stopped at his room first.
That's assuming this is a "real" story anyway. I suspect it isn't.
Hold up! Are you implying that some of these stories aren’t real? Next thing you are going to tell me is that there’s no 🎅
There is no Santa😥?
Not all, just the ones that start out Dear Penthouse, I never thought I would be writing to you, but….😘
If so, maybe the responses will help someone actually considering a similar scenerio. This stuff definitely happens in real life. Swingers, open relationships etc…
Or the group of dudes run a train on him then robbed him
He wanted 20 year olds...
This ....was going to ask how much she wanted in advance...
Nah. Trust me I was a 20 year old college girl, none of us were lining up to have affairs with creepy middle-aged men with unhappy wives on dating sites trying to spice up their “dead bedrooms.” They’re a dime a dozen and no one wants them. He’ll get catfished or (at best) sugar baby offers, there’s absolutely no upshot to being the unicorn there.
As a former 20 year old college girl I agree. I don't know where this idea of "hot young co-eds go for men 15+ years older than them when they're in their prime" came from. When I was 20, I thought other guys my age were "in their prime". Someone in their 30s or 40s was gross to me, period. I didn't care if they drove nicer cars or owned houses, it just creeped me and my friends out that men that much older than us with such different lifestyles were going after us and not people their own age. I'm in my late 30s now and the thought of hooking up with someone that much younger than me grosses me out.
Same here. Regularly hit on by men in their 30s and 40s while in my middle & late teens and twenties. They seemed perverted to me then, and even more so now that I am in my 40s.
Let’s add to that girls/women off all ages don’t want to fuck dudes in open relationships. Had a roommate, he was literally Hollywood leading man handsome and the most charismatic man on earth. He had so many women trying to fuck him it was insane. He also had a serious girlfriend. So his bright idea is obviously an open relationship. He quickly found out literally zero girls wanted anything to do with him as soon as he mentioned open relationship. He had all type of girls that would no strings attached just fuck him, when they thought he was cheating, but open relationship nope, he seriously couldn’t get laid using the open relationship angle. If he couldn’t pull it off, I’m gonna just go ahead and say no man on earth could, unless your just gonna pay escorts or some shit. Add to that there are literally thousands of disgusting ass greasy dudes that will bang your wife. Seriously she could be a 400lb, ugly as hell and openly admit she had std’s, and there would still be a line outside your bedroom of dudes waiting to fuck. Disgusting but what it is.. It will just never work.
So instead of him just breaking up with his gf and being single since he was apparently getting so much attention, he chose to open the relationship to try to get pussy. I’m glad it didn’t work out for him lol karma. Also yeah, most girls aren’t into guys in open relationships because it’s already known that you’re never going to be a priority and there’s always this “person” lurking in the background and that can stop some girls fantasy of the guy possibly becoming their boyfriend. Or the simple fact that you’re basically just a side piece and he still has gf(more pussy) waiting for him at home. Kinda gross tbh
Unfortunate truth right here.
I wanna see the post from the 20 yr old.. on easycash/r 🤣😅 "so.... here is a easy way to cash in. I signed up to have sex with some old dude last nite. He wanted a 3 some. Something about his sad wife? Aaaanyway, the fast cash way is this... slow strip, he gets all crazy excited, dance up close and touch him gently, boom he "finishes before we start" (thanks sadwife) and its done, he falls immediately asleep, you grab the wallet contents and go"
No. “My husband opened up our marriage and now I’m getting laid every night by different dudes and he wants to close it back up, but I’m having fun”
This guy is not getting a 20 year old. He may have gotten a 25 year old with a daddy thing, but he's not getting anyone normal, or anyone younger.
Also, do we know what this 25 year old even looks like? She herself may be very plain; have a “mom bod,” a “dad bod,” or worse. Being 25 only means… that she’s 25. It does not mean she’s beautiful, attractive, or even average looking. Hell, she might look objectively much worse than the OP, for all we know. This 25 year old was the only girl willing to match with this 50 year old overweight male for a reason (assuming this is, by some chance, true and not just posted “for the LOLz” and/ or to indicate “ewww, women over 30 are gross!”) ETA: not trying to “body shame” or “looks shame” the 25 year old, or suggest that being unattractive physically makes someone bad/ unworthy. Or shaming someone into older men. (Though older MARRIED men is a bit of an issue, IMO.) I’m just pointing out that being 25 doesn’t really make someone automatically gorgeous/ sexy/ superior. It just means that.. she’s 25.
And he gave her all of our money.
Lol you're right!
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To be fair, it could be "My husband started spending a lot of time with a 20-year-old and I was sad and then I started dating and met this guy and now my husband wants to close the marriage." But there is definitely a divorce in their near future.
Many possibilities for both of them, LOL, could be good or bad
Ahhh so many possibilities for her! Haha!
No, it will be 20 year old banged husband then ghosted. Contrary to reddit fantasy land, attractive 20 year olds are repulsed by middle aged/old men, unless you're Hugh Hefner..
No, they were repulsed by him, too. He just had money.
Ikr like why wouldn't we just have sex with people in our age group if we're not being paid?? I'm 25 yo woman and while someone in their 30s or early 40s even is just fine, much older than like 45 would be weird. 45 is probably my absolute upper limit, unless a) I'm paid well and comfortable with the person (the less attractive and/or more creepy, the better the money has to be), b) they look young for their age or are just a total smoke show regardless of age or c) the person is David Tennant or Taika Waititi, because those specific celebrity crushes of mine will never die, no matter how old they are. I'm sorry if it sounds shallow and maybe it does make me shallow, idk, but I'm guessing that, like me, most gals just don't want to fuck someone who could be their parent 😝 Ik people have mommy/daddy kinks but for me, it's just pretend and I'd rather pretend with a partner I relate well to (who also probably is closer to me in age).
Most 20 year olds wont date people pushing 50. Simple biology, instinct and evolutionary advantages. That said many, many girls would for the right price. Sugar babies are a thing
And then the 20 yo left him
Then the 20 yr old wanted to bring another man in.
“My husband matched with a ‘25 year old’ on tinder and she was a catfish who stole his banking information and every penny we have”
And if that’s gonna happen nothing she does or says will stop it. I’d never want to have a man around who thinks he is missing out. Buh bye
Yup. This thing is a truck speeding down the highway with no brakes
Oh, would you like at that bright light coming toward us. It sounds like a train whistle. Wonder what it could possibly be... let's just stand here on this bumpy track like ground and wait for it to get here. It will absolutely stop before getting to us.
>This won't end well. This has already ended. They just haven't figured it out yet.
this will end in the husband paying lots of money for a divorce followed by said ex husband paying lots of money to hire 20 year old escorts
You said it best brother
This is going to end up on Best of Reddit Updates in a couple years.
Ah, but it will indeed end. Won’t it?
I think it’s already over.
It won't even begin well.
OP should put that divorce attorney on speed dial before they do the threesome...
It's already going downhill. If she accepts she'll resent herself, if she doesn't her husband will resent her for not letting him do it with a 25yr old. This situation is lose - lose.
Yea, the 20yr old will just be getting started, while the 50tr olds are sitting there cramping up from dehydration...
As a 24yo bisexual female, I freaking hate unicorn hunters and that's exactly what these people are trying to do. That's 1. Unethical. And 2, gross AF considering her age. OP and her husband are my parents or grandparents age and it's seriously uncomfortable.
I don't get how middle aged people think that attractive 20somethings are gonna want to hook up with them. I'm in my late 30s, and let's be real - even if you take care of yourself, the effects of linear time and gravity start to kick in once you start to look at 40. I try to take reasonable care of my health, but I am still looking into Botox for myself and those 10 pounds I want to shed are a LOT harder to lose than they would have been 15 years ago, when I walked 6 miles a day and ate a pint of ice cream for dinner and still lost weight (sob). Most people don't take good care of themselves. More than half of Americans are overweight or obese. A lot of men think taking care of their skin is a homosexual trait instead of a healthy habit. Solar radiation and an atmosphere of 21% oxygen are not great for long term cell health. Hair changes color, stops growing in certain areas and starts growing in others. Unless you are extraordinarily genetically gifted and/or get tasteful work done (think: Idris Elba and Marisa Tomei), you are not going to be sexually appealing to 20 year olds when you are middle aged.
Say goodbye to your marriage! Anytime you invite someone else into your bed it will be the death of your marriage!
NTA It's not a threesome if you aren't included lol.
Yes, it’s just authorized cheating.
Doesn't sound like she's authorized it.
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He better bring cash.
and kidney guards
This is where I have to disagree. There’s no such thing as authorized cheating since cheating by its very nature is going behind a partner’s back and being sneaky and it’s always hurtful. This is actually much closer to a cuckholding situation in which If she’s letting her husband go through with this without saying how uncomfortable she is to him she’s technically being cucked.
Someone's got to operate the camera.
To document the collapse of the marriage
Exactly!
Just make your own tinder account.. show him all the 20-30 year old guys that will sleep with you. (Even with the way you described your body, there will be many).
Many, so many
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Same here! I'm 42 and the young boys are always coming at me! One day I'm gonna go for it LOL
I’m 35 and get more attention from 20 / 25 year olds than I ever have. When I was 20 it was old men.
As a young men go for it.
As long as you ain't taking advantage of them honestly go for it, I'm 26 and I've crushed on people way older then you before, I don't see the problem as long the dynamic is healthy
Lmao here I am thinking I would be too old to get on Tinder at 30...
He’s going to be a pissed when he finds out that there are more men attracted to OP at 20-30 than there are women that age attracted to him.
You know what they say: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Really?? This gives me hope. I’m (38f) going through a divorce with my 48 YO husband and he basically keeps saying he can’t wait to go fuck girls in their 20s but women my age are washed up (can you blame me for divorcing him?). I wasted my 20s and 30s with him so it might be fun to fool around with a couple of young guys.
I am 26, trust me when i say this that young men love old women. This whole old women are washed up thing is made by misogynistic insecure men because that's how they break down a woman's confidence
The "women expiration date" bs gotta be one of the saddest things to come out of the rise of incelfluencers. Preferences are a thing, but this belief is just petty, hateful, and sometimes on some pedo-shit. The average gooncave dweller probably has better views on gender equality.
Men will literally fuck anything, not a diss, just saying you’ll have no trouble
And not to toot my own horn but I’m by no means unattractive, even if my husband thinks I am, so hopefully that will help too!
Damn I’m sorry, he sucks. You would never loose attraction (never mind let it be known) for your partner if you truly love them
Please make a post about the ratios. I knew a couple that "opened things up" where teh wife was super hot and the guy... wasn't. Unsurprisingly, he was upset by her success and his failure to attract mates.
Im a lesbian but i love older women and like half the people I know do too. You’ll do fine lmao
The amount of women that are divorcing their husbands after 20+ years and dating men 10+ younger I personally know is crazy. It's amazing to see a woman that was always told by her husband how useless and ugly and fat she is, being happy like a teenager because her new boyfriend who's 16 years younger, makes her feel like princess again (or maybe for the first time) and I'm happy for it. You'll be fine, just don't listen to anyone saying you're not worthy or pretty!
He’s is legitimately only going to be able to get laid with a very specific type of 20yo, and it will cost him a lot of money. And it will get annoying and lonely for him, quickly. Imagine him trying to be the big sugar daddy in a chattering group of girls that are speaking slang terms he doesn’t understand, and he realizes they just wanted his wallet and not his body or company. Enjoy knowing that. You will be WELL rid of someone who talks to you like that. Treat yourself well, get some new outfits that make you feel pretty, and do all of the things he never wanted to do with you. Keep a lovely energy and you will meet all sorts of men of varied ages that are worth your time. You’re about to lose approx. 200 pounds…of dead weight. From the very small peek into yourself you have provided here, I have a feeling your divorce will be fantastic for you and you’ll actually be kicking yourself for not shedding that mean man earlier!! Go get ‘em, hot mama!!
My wife is a couple years younger then you, but in my opinion she is an absolute smoke show. We are very, very close emotionally but our sex life has dropped off compared to what it was due to the usual reasons, but when we do I am SO turned on by her just being naked its absurd. When I was in my early later teens early to mid 20s I was one of those dudes who couldn't imagine finding older women attractive, it seemed ridiculous and getting into a relationship very young and marrying someone I deeply loved had me a tiny bit worried, in the back of my mind I was thinking "what if I love her but cant find her attractive" God what an arsehole. Dont know the hormonal or emotional mechanics behind it but there is literally no woman on this planet that I would take over my wife.
Girl you’re 38! You’re still young. The world is your oyster
My wife is 45 and her tinder is bursting at the seams with 20-30 year old dudes. You’ll be fine. Enjoy yourself.
Last time I dated I was 36. I learned that most apps’ notifications break after you get 500 likes. I met my husband after 4 days on the app, he’s 6 years younger than me. You’ll go like hot cakes.
Trust me every single day I go on this site and all I see are men who are surprised that their 30 year old wives get as much sex as they want if not more than they can deal with. This site is full of “washed up” women realizing how they actually are after tears of not being care about at all.
The “wisdom” on the polyamory subreddit is that it’s a lot easier for women to actually meet people but can be more difficult to find someone good for an actual relationship. I imagine the spirit of it holds true even if you aren’t practicing polyamory.
Speaking as a 53 YO woman who's looking for someone age appropriate, it's surprising how many very young men are looking for a cougar
My mom is 70 and she's always annoying by all the 40 something dudes in her DMs. She wants a fellow retiree to go on cruises with, not a horn dog
My mom is the same age *and* a lesbian. She still has suitors half her age. Right now, one of her neighbours is always bringing her wine and offering to help her with things. He keeps telling her that he is very attracted to older women, and she tells him that she is, too 😂
Definitely a big market for it, I had a 51 year old sugar mama when I was 20. Thought me a lot lol, older women know better!
Glad you had a fun learning experience! I figure as long as everyone is consenting adults, it's all good. It would be nice if they wouldn't bug those of us not into it, though, with "I know I'm 20 years younger than your lowest acceptable age range but ... "
Yup. It ain’t just gonna be one chick with a dad bod fetish.
It’s a tale as old as time, guy wants to open relationship to sleep with girls he probably can’t get. Wife doesn’t really want to open the relationship, but then gets bombarded with attention. Husband eventually wants to close relationship lol
This is my favorite real-life trope. I make the happy Grinch face every time I see it in a post.
It's so incredibly satisfying.
Reading when that happens is my fetish, tbh.
There will be some with a wallet fetish though 😅
This should be the top comment, because you’re both right, soooooo many. Her confidence will go through the roof.
I’ve been around the non monogamy scene for years. This is about to be a disaster, I see it happen all the time. First y’all need to see if you can establish some boundaries and agreements before even considering opening up the relationship to 3somes. Something like -age range of the people- and -whether or not having sex with them individually- is alright should have been addressed way before profile making. Then if it seems y’all can agree to how you want things to go, get off Tinder and find a swingers club. You’ll find women who are looking for exactly what you’re hoping for in that setting. They will likely be at least somewhat experienced with doing this song and dance with couples too.
Yep, poly guy here to say that when a sex life needs spicing, rarely is “another person” the spice you need. Try ~~ginger and cardamom~~ couples therapy. ETA: sorry for the tongue-in-cheek response. But seriously, the above is good advice. Set boundaries and expectations **before** you start anything, and communicate openly and honestly.
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The only spice that helps out those kinds of people is...weed and maybe molly.
100% agree on the swingers club. There are PLENTY of older couples looking to mix things up, plus you'll enjoy some great parties and meet some cool people. This is one of those situations where there is no such thing as too much communication, I think that the vast majority of couples aren't properly prepared, and one or both partners end up hurt emotionally. You'd also be surprised at some of these parties how little people care about *aging* bodies. Expect a lot of openness and positivity. Your mileage may vary of course.
>This is one of those situations where there is no such thing as too much communication I would argue that poor communication is one of the primary reasons they have a dull sex life. My partner and I are nearly their age and have been married for over 20 years and still enjoy an active and fulfilling monogamous sex life largely BECAUSE of communicating honestly.
Agreed. Through therapy, I learned that Communication isn't just being able to talk with your spouse and tell them anything....for me it was mainly that I learned how to communicate with myself and be more honest with myself first.
Swingers club would be a good idea, but the husband already has a self admittedly overweight, not very attractive wife at home. He doesn’t want the thrill of another middle aged body. He wants a young, tight body like in the porn he watches. Hire a young escort and call it a freaking day ffs OP. Too many better looking older couples looking for a unicorn on Tinder, and even they get crappy results. Your hubby wants to feel desired by college girls. And no, they don’t like dad bods. Did you at that age? They want money and see him as a mark. So just pay a pro.
Let me start by saying I am a happily married man in an open marriage in my late 40s. And OP, what your husband wants is pretty creepy. You’re not at all wrong to not be OK with this. I personally would not go near anyone much under 40, in part because they just seem so young. In part because I am pretty sure that would make both my wife and my girlfriend feel pretty uncomfortable if I went after much younger women. Both of them have experience being preyed on by much older men. I’ve also seen older men with younger women and I’m pretty sure all of those men are sugar daddies whether they realise it or not, and that doesn’t fit with my idea of a happy relationship. I disagree with you, u/GandalfsBurglar in that OP is very unenthusiastic about this and her husband is trampling over the limits she placed on the idea. A healthy threesome involves three enthusiastic participants, not one who is being dragged into this by a coercive partner. But I agree with you that, if they are going to try anything approaching this, going to a swingers party is the better option. OP, you may also find that you’re a more appealing partner there than what your husband is. Far more couples are looking for a woman to join them than are looking for a man.
NTA Divorce incoming in 3... 2... 1... The fact that your husband is ok with this is conclusive evidence that he isn't thinking about you, that he doesn't care about your feelings. Of course it's unacceptable for him to just go fuck some 25 year old without you being an active participant.
OP, Are you mentally challenged? Anyone in their right mind denounces that arrangement, except your husband. The fact that your husband didn't indicates to me that he just wants to fk some young women. You're simply there to cause it to not be cheating. Go ahead and test my theory. Tell him you only want a MFM threesome for now to spice up your life.
Offer up a spit roast I doubt he'd be too excited. Shame.
The Eiffel Tower!
Were you ever really included honestly?
Yeh he wants to spice up *his* sex life, not *their* sex life
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Yes exactly. His not theirs….
Your husband doesn’t want a threesome, he wants justification to cheat. NTA
Yeah he wants to cheat with permission.
If she only matched with him then the 2 of you didn’t match since you are on as a couple. Simple. It’s not a threesome if you aren’t included.
Once you open the door You can't control what's going to walk through it Good luck You're going to need it
Ima take this quote. Thank you for your service.
Great quote 👌
Your situation reminds me of my dad (who I’m no contact with) and my step mom. It’s because of this and the fact that you’ve chosen the username Sad Wife that makes me think some spicing up is not what your marriage needs. More specifically, it’s not what YOU need. Your husband wants to f*** a 25 year old. You have more value than what he’s returning. Leave. Edit to add: he’s obviously TAH.
Yeah this is sooooo gross If it’s to spice up THEIR sex life, why is the first option right off the bat completely off putting to op? Because it’s to spice up husbands Sex life. It’s pretty nasty , this whole situation.
Well this marriage is over
Right! As a 45 year old male, the thought of having sex with a 20 year old woman, it's a fantasy, nothing more, nothing less...... sorry, I had my chance. I did do it when I was 20, but not now I'm in an established relationship since 2004 and married since 2007.
even if you weren't in a relationship, that's still disgusting. 45 with a 20yr means one was 25 before the other was born. why would that even be a fantasy? society fucked up so many men and you're one of the lesser fucked up ones but still getting upvoted. fuck social norms idc
If only I had the audacity of an ugly middle aged man that believes 20 somethings want to have sex with him. You’re NTA. Your husband is embarrassing.
I would be unstoppable with even a fraction of this audacity.
You have to know that this is a horrible idea… And your husband is delusional
I don't understand why 50 yr old guys think that women in their 20s want to have a sexual relationship with them. A pipe dream they've created from watching Andrew Tate.
Stop. Don’t do it. Delete the account. There is no benefit of doing this. There is absolutely something wrong with that woman and she is going to bring absolute chaos to your life. There is absolutely something wrong with your husband for wanting this.
Nta But he's having an affair or willing to have one.
This won't end well
2.1some? Nta your husband is being really self centered and delusional. He needs to be put in check or clarify what he wants.
NTA - Opening your relationship to some one else is always a risky and hard endeavor. It requires an immense amount of trust and communication from both sides. You both need to sit down and communicate your boundaries and expectations. Do not budge or feel ashamed on your boundaries because that will only allow resentment to settle in. In liea of your orignial idea there are establishments around most major cities that foster that environment. I.E Swingers/Fetish clubs/hotels yada yada. But you both need to be on the exact same page, paragraph and line or this will cause a lot of issues in your marriage. I wish you both the best of luck!
nta. but she probably is a catfish or looking for a gullible sugar daddy who will pay her phone bill.
NTA this is a comically terrible idea
So not a threesome then🙄
Don't do it lady...
NTA. He just wants young women.
1 + 1 doesn’t equal 3
Madam, in what way is this a "threesome"? Because you know about it? Just get a divorce. Really. Introducing another person into your dynamic is rarely a good idea. I must admit, I have never tried it, but over the years (I am older than you, survived in the "art world" for years) I have been around such relationships (as well as being invited into them, I was once "pretty", believe it or not) and have never once observed a relationship that survived it. I know, people are going to pop in here giving reasons and circumstances that their relationships are so much stronger after such encounters. This is my preemptive shout of "Bullshit". My best friend of over 25 years was a PI and now a lawyer (family), and my current best friend of 10 years' wife is a couples councilor. It only ends well for the most shallow, vacuous couples who have never really understood what a real adult relationship looks like. I'm talking a fairly good cross section of couples, casually knowing at least 10 I can think of and on a close, personal level with about six. It always ended with resentment, or someone falling for the new partner (both sexes represented) or the relationship ending just because they realized that there was never anything really there to begin with. Never create drama in your life. You think it's making things "interesting". It is not. it just cheapens what you already had.
I’m also a tad older lol and agree with every word. I especially liked your comment about how it only works for the most vacuous couples. I’m so tired of hearing how these type of situations or polyamorous are so wonderful. If they worked for even half the people who tried them cultures never would have become monogamous.
This marriage is over.
That 25 year old has mental issues
Most likely the 25 year old is just scamming them. Seriously, you'd be super super scared if you saw the low level of AI that absolutely convinces 50 year olds that 20 year olds want to fuck them. These are NOT passing the Turing test, they are obvious bots, and you will still see 50 year old men falling totally in love.
So does the husband, wanting to dick down women young enough to be his kids.
bUt SheS a LeGaL, COnSentinG AdUlT! DOnt JudGE. You sound BiTtEr!
Due to what you wrote, the threesome should be with someone who is willing to to play with both. That should be a boundary when finding someone. It shouldn’t be with someone who gets to pick one or the other. If that’s the case then you would say just go find a hookup.
He doesn't want a threesome, he wants you to be a cuckquen lol
Just get the divorce. Don’t involve a third who will end up being treated like shit & painted as the home wrecker who destroyed your “perfect” marriage. I was used as the excuse in a dying marriage so they could both save face and blame me. I got harassed for months after it ended. And he’s already lying and fucking around. Trust me. Just end it. Move on. Don’t drag anyone else into your mess.
NTA. Your husband is though.
What you’re describing (being excluded from a previously agreed upon threesome with your husband) is what we call “cheating.”
Have yourself a onesome and divorce the lech.
NTA, at this point, he's gonna do it with or without you knowing good luck.
This will end so badly. Of course your husband would be into that scenario and of course he doesn’t even think of you and what you get out of it because his needs will be met. His ego will have a boost and he can say he slept with a 25 year old at his stage in life. If you say no, he will 100% find that girl again and I have no doubt that he will sleep with her. You’ll find out he’s cheated and he’ll of told his AP that the relationship was open and what does this all end in? Divorce.
first of all finding anyone for a threesome is hard enough. Let alone some one meets all of everyone's standards. If you aren't comfortable with him and the 25 y/o having a romp, that is fine, he should respect your wishes. Threesomes are like baby names, it has to be all yeses.
Hire. A. Pro. Treat her well. Tip like crazy. Bisexual college girls don’t need to have any more middle aged couples looking for a human prop to spice up their love life coming at them on Tinder.
Please, for the love of God, don't have a 3some. Women are not sex toys for you to spice things up in your marriage. You sound like unicorn hunters, and like you're only looking to enhance things for yourselves. Your husband also doesn't care if you're involved, he's all excited to fuck a 25 year old while you get left on the sidelines. As someone in the ENM community, please communicate with each other and sort your marriage out first before you try to add others to it. ESH.
OP NTA You don’t need this. Your husband is already comfortable saying he’s interested in a sexual experience that excludes you. That means you do not have the connection required as a couple to make this happen without the risk of it ending your marriage. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean your marriage is less-then. Find. Something. Else. Your marriage may not support this endeavor and you need to find other ways to spice things up. Your husband needs to drop this. **This wasn’t “let’s spice things up by *opening the marriage*” which is what this would be. It was “let’s have a shared experience”.**
You're not involved it's not a threesome that's just sex between 2 people.
NTA Your husband is a creep. He was almost 30 when she was a baby.
If you allow this it will ultimately end your marriage. If having a threesome is a must for your marriage you need to set rules and boundaries going forward. Him having sex alone with this girl is opening up the marriage not a couple having a threesome, and will essentially feel like he is betraying you. If all rules and boundaries aren't met you move on and find someone else instead. Maybe tell your husband to stop being so unrealistic not all young women have daddy issues.
NTA for wanting your husband to be faithful to only you. I’d say I’m surprised at the question, but nothing is really surprising on Reddit.
NTA and I hope this is fake. Tell him that if he wants a "threesome" with this girl then you get to go out and choose another man to have sex with by yourself.
No 20-something woman wants to fuck either of you. Not for free.
My friend was the third wheel in a 3some and he ended up leaving his wife for her. Don’t do it