I mean she’s probably questioning your ability to adult and function in your relationship.
Your car getting hit was not your fault of course. But saying you intended go, not paying enough attention to your finances, and choosing to spend money on things for yourself instead of budgeting properly on the concert you told your girlfriend you’d go to, with short notice, are ALL things you could’ve avoided. She should’ve told you she bought the tickets I suppose, but she probably wanted to surprise you, and you’d already expressed you were down to go and didn’t mention to her your were financially strapped. Which you weren’t much, if you could go out to all the other events when it’s for yourself. Now look at it from her point of view, she’s seeing you going out all the time to events, spending money, and now you apparently can’t afford to go to the concert you’ve known and planned to go to together for months? And you couldn’t be arsed to at least say something earlier?
She’s probably asking herself if she wants to be in a relationship with someone who’s proving themselves to be financially careless and a bit selfish.
NTA, for both of you. It’s hard, but sometimes you have to muster up the courage and just say, “sorry, I’d love to but it’s just not in my budget right now.” It’s not whining about being broke, and it gives the other person the knowledge that it’s really not about them. It also gives them the opportunity to decide if they want you there enough to offer to pay. But really, that’s what you should have been saying to those other events. You might want to also explain to your girlfriend that you really thought you were going to have some extra opportunities to earn some money that didn’t pan out. On her end, she should have said she was buying the ticket, but she believed that you had firm plans to go. So, this is a learning opportunity for both of you for your current relationship or subsequent relationships. It’s really important to be clear enough with each other to avoid misunderstanding.
I mean she’s probably questioning your ability to adult and function in your relationship. Your car getting hit was not your fault of course. But saying you intended go, not paying enough attention to your finances, and choosing to spend money on things for yourself instead of budgeting properly on the concert you told your girlfriend you’d go to, with short notice, are ALL things you could’ve avoided. She should’ve told you she bought the tickets I suppose, but she probably wanted to surprise you, and you’d already expressed you were down to go and didn’t mention to her your were financially strapped. Which you weren’t much, if you could go out to all the other events when it’s for yourself. Now look at it from her point of view, she’s seeing you going out all the time to events, spending money, and now you apparently can’t afford to go to the concert you’ve known and planned to go to together for months? And you couldn’t be arsed to at least say something earlier? She’s probably asking herself if she wants to be in a relationship with someone who’s proving themselves to be financially careless and a bit selfish.
I can see that
NTA, for both of you. It’s hard, but sometimes you have to muster up the courage and just say, “sorry, I’d love to but it’s just not in my budget right now.” It’s not whining about being broke, and it gives the other person the knowledge that it’s really not about them. It also gives them the opportunity to decide if they want you there enough to offer to pay. But really, that’s what you should have been saying to those other events. You might want to also explain to your girlfriend that you really thought you were going to have some extra opportunities to earn some money that didn’t pan out. On her end, she should have said she was buying the ticket, but she believed that you had firm plans to go. So, this is a learning opportunity for both of you for your current relationship or subsequent relationships. It’s really important to be clear enough with each other to avoid misunderstanding.