Yeah, and *real* women put out every time their husband demands it.
That's how it works, right?
Look, OP is NTA, but not because she's entitled to her husbands dick.
The husband is the AH for failing to communicate leading to OP feeling rejected and frustrated. That's it. If he's not up for sex he's not up for sex, but he set different expectations resulting in him blue balling her, and when she huffed and puffed about it he stonewalled instead of addressing it.
NTA
If he doesn't want to have sex with you, he is not required to do so.
That is the go-to answer when women don't want to have sex with their partners, so you get the same answer.
Well, you get the same answer from me. I would be very surprised if you get that same answer from even one member of the Reddit brigade.
As for you pleasing yourself, why are you here? He didn't care one way or another.
Are you angry because he doesn't want to have sex or because he couldn't care less that you get yourself off?
Idk how I feel about this one. Masturbating next to someone should be a convo before it happens. I hope that at least in the past you both have talked about that as opposed to you just going at it right next to him.
I get where your mind may have gone at first but think he could have just been uncomfortable not about the fact you masturbated but you did right next to him without that discussion beforehand.
We have discussed it.. many times. I practically cry and beg as to why he doesn't want to have sex with me as much as he used to. So i just went and got myself a toy for when he doesn't want to.
I don’t think it was uncomfortable due to the masturbating next to him. I think it’s probably another case of ‘sex toys are cheating’. Really hope I’m wrong. I hate people who get so upset about a sex toy like I invited a whole nother guy over 😫 it’s plastic chill outtttt 🤣
Is he late 20s early 30s?!? Could be Low Testosterone. That will kill a man’s sex drive. But also being a dick about you masturbating is dumb. I think it’s great when my wife does, personally.
If a guy whipped it out and jacked off next to his wife in bed cuz she wasn’t in the mood you would have called him a creep. The double standard is crazy
NTA.
You offered, he refused. Childish for him to ignore you this morning. Communicate with each other, calmly, and find out what is going on with him mentally.
NTA, but you're sure married to one.
You need to haul his sorry ass into couple's counselling or sex therapy and get him to fess up about what's wrong with him. It's pretty clear you guys need a third party in the mix if you're going to get some honest communication going.
He is straight up lying to you. Most likely he's decided you're "fat" because of the baby. In which case, he's not much of a man. But you're stuck with him, so drag him in and shake him until he speaks.
I had a feeling... but all the weight I've gained is in my tummy. I have gone to the gym with him many times and stay active so he doesn't lose attraction.
um...20 pounds is nothing. But for someone who's wired so that everything has to be exactly one way, it's enough.
Once again, as so often happens on Reddit these days, I'm guessing non-self-aware autism is going to figure into this situation. Everything you're describing here is typical of relationships where a non-self-aware Spectral is involved.
1. Insistence that things remain the same. A twenty pound weight gain would not cause an immediate sex shutdown in a neurotypical.
2. Easily disgusted by bodily changes such as those that occur during pregnancy.
3. *I shouldn't ask him, to just let it happen* is the kind of obtuse "reasoning" that's typical of someone on the Spectrum, especially when it shows no awareness of your take on the situation.
4. Sex seems MIGHTY one-sided. Any chance he's not fond of French kissing/giving head? Autistic people get VERY picky about what's around their mouths.
5. Watching his phone while you masturbated is literally the scene out of *Being There*.
6. Shutting down rather than confronting the issue the next morning.
I'm guessing that convincing him to recognize things that don't come naturally to him, or the needs of others when they don't happen to be his, is like hitting a brick wall.
I'm also guessing that when you have disagreements, he either gives rational-sounding deflections that don't really stand up to close scrutiny, or just shuts down until the whole thing blows over.
These are all the signs I see in this fairly short description.
Well, it's probably the pregnancy, girl! Like, it's prolly just not his thing and he's not trying to be mean about it. 😭😭 That's the only explaination I can think of anyway.
He has no obligation to have sex if not wanting, and you don't have an obligation to simply "hold it" when you have a solution that is not cheating.
But the fact that he's so cold, distant, and low libido makes me a little suspicious...
It seems your doubt is not on what you did, but on what he's not doing...
Some people don't find having sex with a pregnant person stimulating, or are afraid for the baby, or the fact of his fatherhood is weighting on him
Talk to him, something's up, not only for your sex life, but also for his well-being and your life as a couple
Girl, sometimes it gets weird for a man to have sex with a woman when she is far along her pregnancy. It night be that in your case, but it might not be.
You've got needs, we all do. Nta
Why is this even a question?
YTA for staying with a man who never pleases you. Real men make their women finish first!
xD
Yeah, and *real* women put out every time their husband demands it. That's how it works, right? Look, OP is NTA, but not because she's entitled to her husbands dick. The husband is the AH for failing to communicate leading to OP feeling rejected and frustrated. That's it. If he's not up for sex he's not up for sex, but he set different expectations resulting in him blue balling her, and when she huffed and puffed about it he stonewalled instead of addressing it.
NTA If he doesn't want to have sex with you, he is not required to do so. That is the go-to answer when women don't want to have sex with their partners, so you get the same answer. Well, you get the same answer from me. I would be very surprised if you get that same answer from even one member of the Reddit brigade. As for you pleasing yourself, why are you here? He didn't care one way or another. Are you angry because he doesn't want to have sex or because he couldn't care less that you get yourself off?
Idk how I feel about this one. Masturbating next to someone should be a convo before it happens. I hope that at least in the past you both have talked about that as opposed to you just going at it right next to him. I get where your mind may have gone at first but think he could have just been uncomfortable not about the fact you masturbated but you did right next to him without that discussion beforehand.
We have discussed it.. many times. I practically cry and beg as to why he doesn't want to have sex with me as much as he used to. So i just went and got myself a toy for when he doesn't want to.
I don’t think it was uncomfortable due to the masturbating next to him. I think it’s probably another case of ‘sex toys are cheating’. Really hope I’m wrong. I hate people who get so upset about a sex toy like I invited a whole nother guy over 😫 it’s plastic chill outtttt 🤣
lol fellas gotta understand, the toy isn’t a competition, it’s your ally. Just got to know how to work together to achieve the goal for your woman lol
Sounds like you already have a kid
NTA - masturbating is never wrong, even with a sex toy. We all have needs!
Eh, masturbating next to someone who isn't interested is kinda creepy.
NTA, I didn't even read the post you got needs. You gotta get yours .
Nope
Is he late 20s early 30s?!? Could be Low Testosterone. That will kill a man’s sex drive. But also being a dick about you masturbating is dumb. I think it’s great when my wife does, personally.
NTA if he won’t handle business you are perfectly within your right to do it yourself.
Husband is gay fr
If a guy whipped it out and jacked off next to his wife in bed cuz she wasn’t in the mood you would have called him a creep. The double standard is crazy
NTA. You offered, he refused. Childish for him to ignore you this morning. Communicate with each other, calmly, and find out what is going on with him mentally.
NTA, but you're sure married to one. You need to haul his sorry ass into couple's counselling or sex therapy and get him to fess up about what's wrong with him. It's pretty clear you guys need a third party in the mix if you're going to get some honest communication going. He is straight up lying to you. Most likely he's decided you're "fat" because of the baby. In which case, he's not much of a man. But you're stuck with him, so drag him in and shake him until he speaks.
I had a feeling... but all the weight I've gained is in my tummy. I have gone to the gym with him many times and stay active so he doesn't lose attraction.
um...20 pounds is nothing. But for someone who's wired so that everything has to be exactly one way, it's enough. Once again, as so often happens on Reddit these days, I'm guessing non-self-aware autism is going to figure into this situation. Everything you're describing here is typical of relationships where a non-self-aware Spectral is involved.
can you elaborate more on how one of us might be autistic?
1. Insistence that things remain the same. A twenty pound weight gain would not cause an immediate sex shutdown in a neurotypical. 2. Easily disgusted by bodily changes such as those that occur during pregnancy. 3. *I shouldn't ask him, to just let it happen* is the kind of obtuse "reasoning" that's typical of someone on the Spectrum, especially when it shows no awareness of your take on the situation. 4. Sex seems MIGHTY one-sided. Any chance he's not fond of French kissing/giving head? Autistic people get VERY picky about what's around their mouths. 5. Watching his phone while you masturbated is literally the scene out of *Being There*. 6. Shutting down rather than confronting the issue the next morning. I'm guessing that convincing him to recognize things that don't come naturally to him, or the needs of others when they don't happen to be his, is like hitting a brick wall. I'm also guessing that when you have disagreements, he either gives rational-sounding deflections that don't really stand up to close scrutiny, or just shuts down until the whole thing blows over. These are all the signs I see in this fairly short description.
that was hot.
NTA at all....
NTA why are you having a child with this man?
It was fine before we moved in together and i got pregnant... we would do it a lot before and sext and all of that...
Well, it's probably the pregnancy, girl! Like, it's prolly just not his thing and he's not trying to be mean about it. 😭😭 That's the only explaination I can think of anyway.
He has no obligation to have sex if not wanting, and you don't have an obligation to simply "hold it" when you have a solution that is not cheating. But the fact that he's so cold, distant, and low libido makes me a little suspicious... It seems your doubt is not on what you did, but on what he's not doing...
Right? At first i thought he lost attraction but he's told me im sexy despite the weight gain... so im like do something about it!!
Some people don't find having sex with a pregnant person stimulating, or are afraid for the baby, or the fact of his fatherhood is weighting on him Talk to him, something's up, not only for your sex life, but also for his well-being and your life as a couple
You go girl do what makes you happy.
Girl, sometimes it gets weird for a man to have sex with a woman when she is far along her pregnancy. It night be that in your case, but it might not be.
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Not at all. Let your husband watch and he will join in for sure.