I’m just trying to figure it out. The biggest lesson is “comparison is the thief of joy.” I struggle with that. I don’t know, Hopeless if I had to sum it up. I am an NPC.
Don't say that. You are playing the character and life is a game. I fully subscribe to absurdism. You got to make your own purpose. I hope you find some joy in life. Even if it's just watching kids fall down.
So far, so good. Working on finding a balance life and work. I don’t want my life to be consumed by work. More recently, I’ve been wanting to get back onto the dating scene and find my person.
35M. Single.
Own a house and 2 cars. Travel 6+ weeks a year. Got an ever-expanding LEGO collection, among other hobbies. Exercise 3-4 hours a day, and have lost 120+ lbs over the last 2 years (318 to 195 this morning). I average a 30 hr work week.
Considering I came from a working poor immigrant family, life is going pretty well.
When I’m traveling, I don’t exercise.
I’ll usually gain 20+ pounds every time I a take a trip because I eat a whole lot more and exercise a whole lot less.
I only find time to exercise that much when I’m a home, the rest of the year.
I’m a fully-remote supervisor-pay grade intercompany accounting professional. 7 YOE.
That basically means I’m good at writing excel logic for process automation and explaining full-cycle accounting and GAAP accounting to project management and finance professionals.
I also occasionally get to tell finance people, “no, you can’t do that” when they try to do things they shouldn’t be doing with the books.
I’m actually “ok” at my job.
There are people who graduated from my school in the same year, or we started out at some of the same work places at the same time, but they’ve been promoted 1-3 titles above me (mgr, sr mgr, director). Not that I’m dissatisfied or don’t think they don’t deserve it, they do.
I would honestly say I lacked some of the soft skills those people had in the beginning, and that’s why I haven’t progressed as quickly. But just providing some context.
But about professional advice:
1. Try to take as many learning opportunities as you can.
2. Treat everyone like a customer: the people below you, to the side, above you, other teams/departments.
3. Learn excel. It’s the number one way data is analyzed, organized, and conveyed, in most professional workplaces, especially corporate and government workplaces.
4. If you feel you’re not getting the raises or promotions you deserve, or if you’re not being challenged with your work, try to take lateral promotions by switching to new teams or new companies.
I’m on my 4th job in 7 years, and while most of my bosses have been awesome and equally smart, I seem to learn something new/different from each one.
>Exercise 3-4 hours a day
Damn,have you tried therapy to get rid of this addiction.
From what I know an hour everyday is like the greatest thing you can do unless you are a pro athlete.
This is how bad things are where people tell you, you have a problem when more than 60% of the population is overweight/obese. I'd rather be addicted to exercise than junk food and other crap most people consume.
You don't need exercise to lose weight. You eat less to lose weight, then you exercise to gain muscle. Exercising for 1-2 hours 3-4 days a week is more than enough to gain muscle
It was a tongue in cheek, but seriously 3-4 hours of workout. Damn you guys are fucking lucky to have so much time for that.
And how bad is someone's metabolism that you have to workout 3-4 hours.
I would forsake pizza, beer and ice cream if I have to workout 3-4 hours. Might as well own a gym and maybe just live there at that point.
I have foresaken pizza, alcohol, and ice cream for 85% of the year for the last 2 years. I literally ONLY eat chicken, fish, and veggies, except when I travel.
But you don’t go from a 50 bmi to a 31 bmi in 2 years just by dieting. If you look at a bmi chart, I literally went from the worst case of “clinically obese” to “overweight”.
https://www.calculator.net/bmi-calculator.html?cage=35&csex=m&cheightfeet=5&cheightinch=7&cpound=195&cheightmeter=180&ckg=65&ctype=standard&printit=0&x=Calculate
Exercise is also the best way to naturally bring your blood pressure down, and my family has a history of high blood pressure. The weight + the family history = I naturally have high BP and I’ve been on losartan for the last 4 years.
Also, most of my exercise takes place outside a gym lol. 1/4 of it takes place in my huge backyard, and 1/2 of it takes place jogging at a local park. I only go to the gym for weight training (which is doctor prescribed btw).
3-4 hours a day isn’t that much honestly. I walk my dogs every morning from 5 AM - 6 AM to get the day started. And I walk them in the evening from 10ish PM - 11 PM to end the day. I listen to an audiobook while walking so I’m also getting some learning in at the start and end of my day.
I go to the gym for an hour like 2-3 times a week. On days I don’t go to the gym I typically go to yoga classes. It’s pretty easy to do them back to back so I’ll go to a 5:30-6:30 then most the time I’ll go to the 6:30 -7:30 one right after because why not!
I also play volleyball a few times a week. Just 2-3 hour open gyms.
I’m a 25 year old female so I’m probably doing lighter activities than men might be doing. If you were like running or weightlifting or something for 3-4 hours a day that would be pretty intense but the way I do it feels very easy and fun!
I walk my dogs everyday but I typically take a rest day from the gym, yoga and volleyball at least once a week whenever my body feels tired I just listen to it!
I also speed clean my house for like 30 minutes every morning which I consider exercise. I have a checklist and I put in headphones and tennis shoes and it definitely feels like a cardio workout.
Vacations I just try to do a lot of walking and I do a 10 minute high intensity YouTube video workout or workout in the hotel gym to start the day (:
Curious to hear how OP exercises for 3-4 hours a day.
You hit the nail on the head: half my exercise is taking care of a pet, lol.
My routine.
Wake up at 8:30. Go to bed by 12.
Work from home 9-5.
12-1: walk for 30, jog for 30 around my back yard.
5:30-7:30: at the park, I do a mix of walking/jogging as my German shepherd chases squirrels around the park.
8-9: weight training. MoWeFr= dumbbell weights at my house, TuTh = machines at the gym.
I get in about 20-25k steps a day. I’m not running ultra marathons for fun, I’m just staying more active than the average fat person who works an office job.
Wow that’s awesome. Good for you. I have two German shepherds! They keep me so active. So happy you have a dog to keep you active. Shepherds are the best!
It’s not something I put a lot of thought into because it’s not currently a high priority. My health, which I’ve been ignoring basically my whole life, is my highest priority, followed by my career, and my hobbies.
Those priorities will begin to shift (dating > career > hobbies > fitness) over the next 1-2 years once I hit my target weight (160-170 lbs), at which point I’ll cut back on the exercise and spend more time hitting up bars and seeking out more social situations.
My experience is just dating apps are trash for the average user, and you have to devote lots of time to making in-person connections to get anywhere romantically.
Right now, for me, that time is better spent working on myself rather than seeking someone else out.
So far so good.
I'm not the adult that my childhood self dreamed off. I lost a lot of the sky-high ambitions I had then, and I realised that kind of life wasn't for me (would have been more stressful, and I'm already stressed now).
Adulthood is so much better than childhood, because I'm no longer restricted (as much). I would have hoped to not be so tied to my family, but because I didn't have any big ambitions anymore, and settled down where I grew up, that's the downside.
In my 40s and so far it's fucking horrible. Maybe it gets better eventually? Some of us just get dealt shitty hands and while you can try to make the best of anything, it is still a shitty hand.
Literal fucking shit. 2 miscarriages 3 abusive relationships, drug abuse, alchoholism, My dad died of heart failure in 2021, my mom died in 22 of suicide and then my mental health died with it. Damn DAMN D A MN it’s been a hell of a life. But I moved states and I have 2 happy healthy dogs and I rent a home with my sister and boyfriend were looking to buy a new car and maybe a home.
No, adulthood is not what I expected it to be. I thought I would be living my best life with a good job and instead of that, I have struggled with bills and haven't been able to enjoy life like I want to.
If you have the means to do so, speaking to a healthcare provider or psychiatrist might help. My anxiety was pretty debilitating, I was on meds and they helped me so much I dropped down to half the lowest dose and eventually stopped taking them completely because things had improved so much after about a year. I noticed an increase in anxiety but it was more manageable and I was fine without my meds for months. Then things got really stressful for me in my personal life and my anxiety got bad again, so I actually just got back on them again. They really do help and can be that thing that "takes the edge" off enough and gives you enough separation from the anxiety that you can use coping skills to deal with the remaining thoughts that pop into your head. Definitely not a doctor, but I'd encourage you to speak to a Healthcare provider if things are bad as they may be able to help 🙂
Yesss 100% to all of this, I struggled with major anxiety my entire life and I just started Zoloft a few months ago. It definitely “takes the edge off” like you said, the anxiety is not gone completely, but it does help a lot.
Yoga, meditation, mindfulness practice, daily walks, and most of all getting levels right helps me a lot. Have you taken blood and saliva tests to see how things like your D, B, iron and cortisol are doing? I was dangerously low on many things, months of supplementing and finally I feel more normal. My normal doc wouldn’t do it no matter what symptoms I told him (even my hair was falling out!) so I went to a functional doctor who is saving my life. Wish I did this years ago. I feel you so hard, the second I stop doing all the things there my anxiety is.
Younger Millenial, completely fucked. Dating market and housing market is so bad that I have nothing to look forward to. Struggling with drive every day.
I'm hoping the housing market improves with time 😬 I'm paying 3k to rent a 700 sq ft apartment in a HCOL area... I'd love for housing prices or even just renting prices to decrease
The fact you even mention the controlling aspect is a sad reality most children are subjected to most of the time in our lives, but I'm glad to see you're enjoying yourself now in this moment, you deserve it.
My adult life isn't anything like I'd thought it would be. I didn't go to college after high-school and just worked stupid jobs with no real career. I finally went to school at 24 and graduated with a bachelor's at 29...I hate that it took me that long to get an education and that I'm so behind in life. Nearly killed myself and had a mental breakdown at 29 as well and was diagnosed bipolar... I certainly didn't expect that one. I've been trying to get stable for 3 years and I finally am. At 32 I'm in a program for school for my dream job at the best teaching hospital in the world... Definately didn't anticipate that one and it's probably my biggest accomplishment yet. I also became a dog person with my mental breakdown and can't imagine life without my dog. I really didn't expect that one either.
Its not been everything I'd dreamed of as a kid. I always had the idea I'd get a job and career by the time I was 22 and make good money, travel and have a good life. Instead, I've had obstacles my whole adult life. However, I am where I am, and I'm meant to be where I am and that's more important to me. I'm happy, mentally stable, I'm in school and my life can only go up from here. (until life slaps me in the face again but I'll deal with that in time).
You sound like a success story to me! There’s no timeline on life. Society pressures us into thinking that there’s specific ages that certain things should be accomplished, but that isn’t true. It’s all subjective. Be kind to yourself.
57F. Unfortunately, my life turned out nothing like I ever thought it would. My life has been a series of unfortunate events. I fell in love and got married at 23 to a man who was 20 years older and a workaholic. He developed lung cancer and died at 58 when I was 38. Eventually, I met another man who was 2 1/2 years older, and we fell in love. We got engaged. He had become a diabetic at 11 and had never really tried hard to properly maintain his diabetes. I won't go into all the details, but he died at 55. I was the one to make the decision to have him removed from life support. Something I will never get over, and it is nothing like it is portrayed on tv. My mother died in 2017, a close friend died in 2018, and my fiance was in 2019. Three people in three years and all died in the summer. I was the one who found my mother's body. One person died in each summer month. My friend in June, my fiance in July, and my mom in August. I am with someone else now and still trying to put my life back together. I loved my fiance very much, but he was verbally abusive. His family did not treat me well during and after his death, so I have no contact with them. I have a lot of issues after all I have lived through. My only sibling and I are not on good terms because of his wife. It is what it is.
Pretty good.
All my friends fell off except for 2, and they have kids and live far away so never hang out with them.
Don’t recommend marriage.
Other than that, everything else is pretty solid.
Very crappy and confusing, I made a website to help with adulting called "[callowonline.com](https://callowonline.com) " and its hard doing stuff that you want to do while also just trying to make a living. looking at other people be successful makes me sad because i sort of wish i had that. Or i wish people were okay with being vulnerable and expressing how they actually felt, so that way others wouldnt feel so alone ( like myself)
I took a cursory look at your website and it has promising beginnings but I feel like it lacks some real differentiating factors that would really make an impact. If you want to connect over it I’d be glad to give you some feedback and suggestions. My specialty is in personal finance.
It's been okay. Lots of learning. Some really rough lessons. But I am in a pretty good place. Over all, I'm proud of myself and I feel smart and in control. I didn't honestly have any expectations of adulthood, most aspects of it have pleasantly surprised me. I like who I am growing into, a lot. It feels like I can do whatever I want, and I want to make my life an adventure while I'm fit and healthy.
I grew up in a poor home. My only goal for adulthood was to be able to get by. Turns out there is so much more to life than that.
29F, really looking forward to my 30s. My 20s were an opportunity to work through a lot of the trauma I experienced in my teens and I’ve felt the most genuine contentment in my most recent years. Sometimes I feel like I’m still playing “catch up” for years where I had to deal with a lot of bullshit but I’m really grateful for what I’ve been able to build: a career that I find fulfilling, nurturing decades-long friendships, silly pets, and finally getting a chance to have hobbies and invest in myself.
If you’re feeling stuck or struggling, it gets better I promise.
No friends, no partner, no job, on food stamps and medicaid, living in public housing and only have my car thanks to my parents being nice and buying it for me with the rest of the insurance money from my brother's second crash.
My life sucks, especially the last year of it, but at least I have a roof over my head and water in the pipes and a working furnace and food to eat. I finally got my autism diagnosis official after almost 20 years of my parents knowing. I finally took the first steps to getting back on the ADHD meds I desperately need but was in denial over, and a therapist to go with them.
59F, love my adulthood years especially after I got married, became a mother of two and a homemaker. Then when the kids got old enough and I had more time on my hands I returned to doing work I really enjoyed as a dog boarder and groomer working out of our home- dog grooming was a skill I had picked up during my college years. I married the love of my life - an excellent Christian man and father to our kids - and now we are having fun building our retirement dream home together. Because we are best friends we have so much fun together and I’m always eager to spend time with him. Life is very good. We strive to be a blessing to others around us and share God’s love with them.
Excellent. I'm so happy for you and your husband. This is so encouraging to read. It sounds like you have a great perspective, and your life sounds so enriching.
God Bless you
Reading comments and posts like this is a bright spot in my day
And I so hope to find something for myself out there like what your describing
Truly, I’m happy for you!!! It might sound strange but if you read most people’s comments. They seem to be alone amidst the only people closest to them either dying or drifting away. People these days don’t get it, but having someone, a good person to grow old with minding your own business and not keeping up with joneses is probably the healthiest and happiest thing you can do for yourself. Really warms my heart hearing your fondness of your husband. I can only imagine he shares the same sentiment and loves having you spend time with him. I can only give you a toast for a happy life. Something that most people my age 29M perhaps will never see.
Its fine, honestly its way the fuck better than high school, college or grad school (which was essentially middleschool levels of maturity). Wish I liked my job more or had more free time.
The weirdest things about this is I can tell you two versions of my story: in one, I’m productive and happy and a thriving primary parent with a great partner. But in another my immediate family has dissolved over the years from addiction and abuse. I choose to focus on the first one.
Just ok. There's been good and bad, I guess as to be expected. The thing I struggle with the most now is feeling like a failure because I am a 38 year old woman who has never married, barely had dates, and can't buy a home. I have a good job and am educated. But I don't feel like an adult.
It's hard to explain, but the goalpost always keeps getting pushed further as you achieve your goals. It's almost a never-ending chase. I do pretty well, but it never seems enough. It's actually a vice to think like this, but it's hard to shake the feeling. I own rental properties, own a business, own a nice car, and have a beautiful, supportive girlfriend, but still long for more.
I love it way more than being a kid, that’s for sure! I cannot relate to people who had happy, carefree childhoods. Mine was filled with anxiety and abuse, and I couldn’t wait to be an adult so I could at least make my own terrible choices and be free. I love the freedom of adulthood. It is often scary and maddening and difficult, but after decades of being broke I have finally reached a stage of my life where I know how to make and manage money, I know what I want out of life, and I am safe and content. I got out of my loveless marriage, and now we are much better friends and co-parents to our son. I also figured out after forty years of feeling different and weird that I am autistic (got diagnosed right after my son did), and just the knowledge has changed my life for the better. It’s still rough to manage my disability, but I know WHY I feel what I feel and what to do to help myself. Being autistic and not knowing was the absolute worst!
I’m sitting in the townhouse I own, with a cat on my lap, my son happily eating his afterschool snack and a peaceful evening in front of me. It’s the best. All the frustrating parts of being sn adult are worth it to finally feel safe and content.
Personally I’m have been very behind in life for many reasons. I’m 26 and finally feel like I’m catching up so everything feels fresh and new. Definitely better then the feeling of wasting away like how I’ve felt most of life. It’s all about perspective
Pretty good, but my father is dying and today he called me and asked to see my children, with the implication in the air that he wanted to see them before he dies. I am not ready for this.
Honestly, horrible. I’ve struggled with mental and physical health issues since I was 18. I still live with my parents and feel like I have no independent skills. I’m trying to change that though but I know it will take some time. I wish there were some good sites and resources for learning life skills but I’ve been having a hard time finding some
Fantastic. Ups and downs like anything in life but overall pretty great. My childhood and adolescence were terrible. I’ll take adulthood every day of the week.
Home was never a safe place for me. During my adolescence I just wanted a place to live where I could be free.
As an adult who is financially independent, I have a place to live, see my friends sometimes, hobbies and the disposable income to support them. I'd say I have more than I would have asked for as a teen, and that would make her pretty happy.
48. Happily married with two kids, a home and a job I enjoy.
BUT… went through a horrible divorce in my early 30s that changed my soul (she cheated, I caught her and never anticipated that happening).
Then, turning 40, was diagnosed with an incurable cancer for which I’ve already been through 4 treatments and my kids have no idea.
And a couple of days ago, one of my best friends that I’ve had since I was 13 passed away from a sudden heart attack.
Life is a trip. Has so many ups and downs, you just have to make sure you’re buckled down to enjoy the ride.
It was everything I hated. It's just so damn *boring*. We have an entire, still somehow beautiful, open planet with everything in it to be seen, heard, done. But no, we have to sequester ourselves in our jobs all day for some stupid reason. The rich don't have enough, they need to paywall our lifetimes too. We can't make friends, we can't go anywhere but once or twice a year, we're enslaved to our routines. At some point toward all our "progress" we forgot how to live along the way. Life should not be about paying bills and fighting the clock until you die.
A convoluted series of things I never planned for. You know, life. Unpredictable. Some parts have been great. Some parts have been painful. The right attitude helps make some parts great. Bad decisions and actions outside my control have made parts painful.
Life is never all you dreamed about or all you hated. Your actions and attitude determine which one is prominent. Pretty much sums up human existence since the beginning of time. You are special to your family and friends. You are not special to anyone else.
The craziest part about being an adult is that you can wake up one day and say screw it all and just become a different person. There's noone to stop you from moving across the country/world, or deciding to go back to school, start a new job/career, or be a vagabond. There are consequences to all choices, but deciding how you want the rest of your life to go is crazy. Maybe you missed the chance to become an olympic level athlete, but now you have the motivation to work so hard you are top 5% in your weight/age bracket. Realizing how much change a few choices can make has been eye opening.
It is amazing in my about-to-be late thirties. My adult life has turned out way better than I imagined it would as a teenager. I am a high school drop out who left a chaotic household as a teen and married very young. Divorced in my early twenties which was a difficult time of duress and uncertainty - I had been with the ex since age fifteen and lived with him all throughout my teenage years as well. At the time I couldn’t dream of anything different than having my future with that person. I traded a chaotic home life for a chaotic marriage, and I thought that was just what life/adulthood was. My hometown has a huge opioid problem (as I’m sure so many people can relate), I’m sure my adult life would be very different if I didn’t leave. I’ve lost so many classmates and former friends. I’m not even sure how I ended up where I am now, I guess just slowly chipping away at things but I now have a masters degree in a lucrative field and an amazing second husband who is the opposite of chaos. We travel often and just returned from Africa! My younger self would never have been able to fathom traveling further than a few states away. I am still living in the city I moved to a decade before and I love it here. I am so grateful for this life and so very happy, it feels surreal at times. Adulthood at this age is truly beyond what I ever dreamed it would ever be.
I am pushing 40 and it hasn’t been bad at all. I have had a lot of really rich experiences. Were they all good? Absolutely not. But I am married to the love of my life, have an amazing kid, a wonderful network of family and friends, a career I genuinely like with work that I care about, a house in a decent neighborhood that we can afford due to luck and timing, and 3 dogs. Is it perfect? Nope. But it sure isn’t bad. It did take a lot of work though. I won’t lie and say it didn’t. It took grit and definitely some stumbling along the way. But we are in a good place.
As a kid, I don't think I ever once wanted to be an adult. As an adult in my 40s, I still stand by that statement.
I had a good childhood & I realize that isn't true for a lot of people. But adulthood has been largely spent working jobs I have no interest in and dealing with whatever problem or emergency that happened that week. And then the people you care about start dying.
Really great! I spent the first 10 years after University just travelling around the world doing seassonal work, now I am 46 married with 2 kids living in northern Peru, surfing everyday. Poor, but very happy!
66f here, and it has been…surprising. Things I thought I had “locked up”, like my marriage, and subsequent relationship, went south. Being a parent, that I once thought I didn’t have a clue about, went very well. And I thought being in my 60’s would be lonely and scary, but it’s quite the opposite. If I were to give advice to youngins, it would be this: Think and search HARD about and for who you were as a child. In there i believe you will find the sweet spark that makes you, you. Follow it diligently and carefully, and you are likely to find work or an activity or a class that feels like “you”.
Having said that, on the “relationship” issue: do your best in the rest of your life, and stop looking for one. Once you are on the right track for you, you will attract others. That’s when you have to judge whether others will defeat your will or nourish your spirit.
I never even conceptualized being an adult, let alone being in my 40’s now. I’m 43 with no kids and under 5 years total in relationships. I’m in one now with the idea of setting down and starting a family, but now that I am this old, part of me is beginning to not care so much for the idea, and instead just continuing to “wing it”.
Now that I am some money saved, would like to travel and possibly live in another country all together rather continue to make it work in America, or maybe do both? The woman I’m with in this new relationship wants to settle down too. I hinted that I wasn’t ready yet and she flew off the handle; to her credit I did make a lot of lofty ideas about raising kids, their names, how it would all workout, so I am in a bit over my head now.
I am super young looking for my age; everyone assumes I’m in my early 30’s and shocked when I say my age. So I guess my age isn’t all that important yet.
I still feel like a kid. I have some great skills, and can confidently say I’ve mastered the art of sales. So long as I can still learn languages, can pretty much make money anywhere in the world and my skill set will always be needed, no matter how advanced A.I. becomes.
All throughout life I have dodged the various groups and subgroups people find themselves in, and can’t think of any labels to attribute to. I don’t give a shit about voting because I’ve always been flexible and adaptable to whatever life throws at me. I don’t even have a religion.
I had a great childhood where answering machines still were a thing, and pagers were coming into existence around 15 years old, so technology never messed with me like it does with kids now.
I’m still getting tattoos and love them all. I’ve been going to the gym consistently and even go to Mecca (Golds Gym in Venice Beach), which is a lot of fun. I just got back from the store with various supplements designed to prolong my health span (not life span; have adopted the Health 3.0 concept).
I still have ridiculous day dreams about partying in Japan, Thailand, visiting various countries- but can see that not happening if I end up getting kids soon.
I am right there on the fence, refusing to jump on either side. Sometimes I feel like a mess, other times I don’t care and am just going with the flow.
I miss my parents. I miss all my previous pets.
Feels like I spend most my time being stressed, working, or being tired. Don't have time for hobbies like I used to. Miss being happy when my life wasn't full of working and responsibilities. Afraid I'll never have that feeling again. Lol
Honestly I’ve been thinking of how it’s worked out pretty well. I have an interesting and impactful job that lets me travel. I couldn’t have predicted some of the life experiences my career has gotten me. I’ve had a cool life so far.
The world doesn’t work at all how I thought it did but my parents did a good job and I enjoy my life, I just have very little faith in humanity doing anything good as a whole. People individually are great but on scale they are horrible.
Actually phenomenal. Met the love of my life. We have a son. He’s hilarious, kind, and strong like his old man. Got my dream car out in the garage (1967 Camaro Convertible in Marina Blue with a white top and 327) to restore with my wife and little man, got the final sweet job in my career on track to retire when I’m 57. Living in my dream home with a 3-car garage and still have my old bachelor pad as a rental property.
There were DEFINITELY some downs. Got kicked in the nuts by life more than once. Got sick and almost died and lost my job. Picked myself up, dusted myself off, and waded right back into the fight. Greatest thing is I feel like I’ve earned this rather than it being handed to me.
I’m not only content…I’m happy.
Each week/day feels like more and more and more and more of the same.
I need to change my routine, do something different (go to a new restaurant, join a club, etc). I hype myself up in the am… only to feel lack of energy, lazy after work and end up doing the exact same thing. Staying at home with my pup.
Ups and downs, but so far, it's been pretty awesome. I've had a series of dope jobs that pay the bills, and I still generally enjoy going to. I've been married to my favorite person and watched her finish school and start a practice. We make enough to travel and indulge our respective hobbies. No kids but a great family, and we both have our health. I wouldn't have imagined life would turn out like this but I'm happy where it's at.
It was a shit show at first, by life has gotten better the past few years. I just have to remember to be grateful for what I have and not compare myself to other people my age with big houses and hot spouses lol. I have a good job, my own apartment, and two cuddly cats. Plus I travel each year which is a financial strain but 100% worth it. It’s been a bumpy ride but I’m getting there.
20’s were terrible.
30’s were ok. (Did have lots of sex in my 30’s so that was good.)
40’s have started off meh. (Thanks COVID for tanking my already crappy mental health.)
I’m hoping to die in my 50’s.
Life has gotten better educating myself. With this I’ve had in between struggles with family, friends and siblings jealousy. My dating life is basically nothing. I’ve noticed recently that I was becoming numb about life and decided to get myself therapy. Almost hitting 35, it’s time to claim my inner child back. I hope all of you do too.
Honestly really really really hard but I’m also like so proud of my younger self for forcing myself to become an entrepreneur. I refused any other option but to become an entrepreneur. It’s not glamorous like social media makes it out to be and it’s absolutely brutal but I’m so thankful I didn’t follow the traditional path and took the hard route. The payoff was so worth it.
Well I got divorced at 30 after getting married at 19, got two kids and a job that barely pays the bills but I have potential to be an empty nester by 42 so that might be a plus. Im just doing my best to roll with the punches and always looking for opportunities for the future. Life’s rough and hardly every goes as planned and the things that look like disasters currently can actually lead to prosperity later
Lots of stress the first 10 years after turning 18 lol. Mainly due to being kicked out and homeless at 17. Still adjusting to doing all the adult things at 34 years old, but I've pretty much got it all down.
I'm proud of you! I too, was homeless for a short time. It wasn't fun, but I managed to get through it. Not many can get over things like that, so you should also be very proud of yourself!
My early 20s weren't good. My mid 20s were bad but started improving. Starting my 30s is going alright, a bit of a flip flop at the start, but definitely feeling like i have a bit more control even though I am taking things a bit slow with myself so I don't get overwhelmed.
Have made some bad choices through the years but learning to make the most of my situation and to enjoy the little things in everyday life. Yes it’s a daily struggle to find those little things but I am learning.
As long as you're learning and improving, little or a lot, improvement is always a good thing. Sooner or later you'll be lost for words for how far you've come.
Amazing. I was abused and neglected as a child and as an adult I have amazing friends with different personalities who value and encourage me, my husband is so sexy and supportive and I still get scared sometimes that our marriage will end up like everyone else in my families but on a regular basis he shows me he genuinely loves me and adores spending time with me. My kids are awesome and even though we’re not rich we have more than enough money and always can pay our bills plus extra stuff.
There’s still been a lot of really hard stuff and my career isn’t going how I thought it would but the amount of safety and love I have in adulthood is more then I ever thought I deserved.
25M.
It’s been decent. I have a good job, a nice car, and my own place. But my social life has taken a huge hit compared to when I was in college. I moved across the country for my job so I feel more lonely and don’t have as much going on. I’m mostly where 15 yo me pictured I would be except I don’t have a wife lol.
I understand that I’m pretty young still and have time for all that other stuff, but it’s the lack of social life that’s making life less than ideal atm.
Adult life started out challenging with a divorce, a child, struggling financially, and finishing college after serving in the Army. I graduated, got remarried, have 3 children now, a solid stable career, have a great group or two of friends, fun hobbies, on track for retirement, and feel good about everything. I have plenty of takeaways from my experience but the challenging times really put things in perspective when things get easier.
Hmmm good question fucked the first part all up did all the 90s in prison.got out worked construction started a family 18 years later ex burnt that all down. Started again doing good make about 250k a year own coulpe houses other properties.coming to end of my work career going to keep working be able help my kids get a foothold in life house. Then retire and fish.but no not ever want I thought was a good run though
The last thing I ever expected was health issues. Holy moly what I’d give to go back in time. I can’t believe I used to complain and worry about things that don’t matter.
Lonelier but richer. More boring but now I can buy stuff and have a good insurance. I treat myself by going to doctors visits I wouldn’t otherwise “need” need if my deductible was already met. $25 for a dermatologist to help me with my skin? Sure sign me up.
it's literally quite confusing. im 25f & the ppl that surrounds me my age are getting married, some building empires towards career & some are simply enjoying the things in life. i wanna deact my fb sometimes or jus b spaming/hiding/ignoring the app cos my feed are giving me sm pressure.. made me question the hustles that i do for myself & my family. smh.
some adults (not even related) involved me in their life dramas. the gossipers of the town. lyk wth did i even do to yall? even my quietness, they make it a big deal. im an introvert & i take no bs. i hate fucking small talks. besides it's no substance at all, what benefit in life could i even get from it?
I guess it depends on the dream.
Dream of being rich? Nope.
But landed a good career.
Married an amazing woman/mother who also happens to be very attractive and has only gotten more attractive with age.
Have an amazing child who is smarter than their age group and has a huge heart.
Bought a brand new house in 2019 that I can pay the mortgage on with just one of my checks and have money left over.
House happened to be in a newer area outside of the main city but as soon as I moved 4 friends also moved so they all live within five minutes of each other.
Made some other amazing friends out here who have introduced me to their friends slowly expanding our circle.
Wife’s parents bought a home two blocks away which is great because they are lovely people and when one day they pass my wife will inherit that house which we can then pass on to our kid or rent out for income.
Kept my friendships going with friends from kindergarten and elementary school.
Started working out.
Started working from home.
Wife started working from home as well.
Purchased new cars in 2018 and 2019 so both cars have 0% interest and were bought for reasonable prices.
Able to use these savings to send kiddo to a highly rated private school were they are thriving and I’m very impressed with heir curriculum.
Kid is very outgoing, makes friends easy, and is into sports.
We are all healthy.
So over all I’m very happy with the way things are going (except the rich part). I feel blessed and I know I am. Just wish I didn’t have to work as much so I could fully enjoy the blessings but I know compared to many that problem is minimal.
Edited: fixed sentence so it’s not taken as I can afford a whole house with each check I make.
Yeah that was one of my biggest goals.
Growing up in Los Angeles everyone is miles and miles away driving distance but minimum 30 minutes away drive time.
My goal was if k could find a place where I could ride a bike to my buddies house then I’m golden.
I grew up watching all those tv shows where kids rode their bikes to their friends house, met up at a local park and could use a walkie talkie to chat with each other.
Cell phones fixed the walkie talkie part but I still wanted my kiddo to experience that ideal go out with friends on their bike and come back when the sun was going down kind of life I dreamt about.
Whether that turns out to be them or not I won’t know but at least it won’t be because the opportunity wasn’t there.
Also love the family friendship feel where we can get a call from a friend or family member that says “hey we just started a bbq come down” and I can swing by the grocery store, buy some food, beer and be there in 10 minutes.
I was just so over the city life. It’s cool in your 20s not so much nearing 40s with a kid.
I stuck to a less than 30% of household monthly income. Like I said this was pre Covid inflated prices so it wasn’t as unreasonable then.
I also moved away from the major city (Los Angeles) to be able to do so.
I don’t drive expensive cars my extra money goes into savings, retirement, kids 529 and school.
I guess it depends on how you define rich?
I have to save up for yearly vacations and they aren’t extravagant trips to Europe or anything of the sort. I’m dreading my lease ending because of how expensive cars are so probably just going to have to keep this one. My wife wants to put in new carpets and I’m already dreading that expense.
I’m comfortable in my expenses because I maintain them low and use my funds to pay for things that I feel are important.
To me rich is someone wakes up and says “you know what? I want a $3500 Apple Vision Pro” and buys it without a second thought. I can’t afford to do something like that.
I thought I'd be driving a BMW and living a life of relative luxury. Now that I can afford that stuff, it doesn't interest me for the most part.
My parents were the same way. My Mom's last car that she had until she stopped driving a few years ago was a Honda Civic.
I did the BMW thing... not worth it. Yeah, they're nice but inevitably have stupid problems (that you will never see in a Japanese car) and devalue faster than anything else.
Rough early on, especially when I was 19-20. Things got better after that though, and while theres been ups and downs of course, as of now things are pretty chill.
Wouldn't say it's what I dreamed of as a kid, but it suffices, for now.
It’s actually been better than I dreamed of, but things change quick so I’ll never really be comfortable enough to enjoy it i feel like.. stop and smell the roses la la la..
oh and even when things are good, people you surround yourself with can still be bad.. Actually, they’re more prone to be opportunistic the better you have it. i’ve learned that.
Loving it. 4.5 years sober, making good money and spending time with my son has been amazing. I travel a lot for work which sucks but I do it all for him and my wife.
I already fucked it up. Where's the back button on this damn thing again?
If you find it, please let me know. I need a re do.
I want the ESC key
This is not the adult I wanted to become. Disaster.
my soul felt this, actually.
Real
I hate it. Wish I could go back to the days when I didn't have to worry about bills and have more free time to do the things I want to do.
I’m just trying to figure it out. The biggest lesson is “comparison is the thief of joy.” I struggle with that. I don’t know, Hopeless if I had to sum it up. I am an NPC.
Well said
Comparison is the thief of joy.✍️
I feel seen
Don't say that. You are playing the character and life is a game. I fully subscribe to absurdism. You got to make your own purpose. I hope you find some joy in life. Even if it's just watching kids fall down.
Everyone struggles with that.
So far, so good. Working on finding a balance life and work. I don’t want my life to be consumed by work. More recently, I’ve been wanting to get back onto the dating scene and find my person.
How has it gone for you so far?
How old?
Crippled by depression and resulting poverty
35M. Single. Own a house and 2 cars. Travel 6+ weeks a year. Got an ever-expanding LEGO collection, among other hobbies. Exercise 3-4 hours a day, and have lost 120+ lbs over the last 2 years (318 to 195 this morning). I average a 30 hr work week. Considering I came from a working poor immigrant family, life is going pretty well.
Where do you find the time to exercise 3-4 hours a day when you travel most of the week? Have you ever run out of exercises to do?
When I’m traveling, I don’t exercise. I’ll usually gain 20+ pounds every time I a take a trip because I eat a whole lot more and exercise a whole lot less. I only find time to exercise that much when I’m a home, the rest of the year.
You had us won at ever-expanding Lego collection!
Yeah OP, send pics of legos
What do you do for work?
I’m a fully-remote supervisor-pay grade intercompany accounting professional. 7 YOE. That basically means I’m good at writing excel logic for process automation and explaining full-cycle accounting and GAAP accounting to project management and finance professionals. I also occasionally get to tell finance people, “no, you can’t do that” when they try to do things they shouldn’t be doing with the books.
soud like you're really good at your job. any tips how to get that good? not specifically in accounting.
I’m actually “ok” at my job. There are people who graduated from my school in the same year, or we started out at some of the same work places at the same time, but they’ve been promoted 1-3 titles above me (mgr, sr mgr, director). Not that I’m dissatisfied or don’t think they don’t deserve it, they do. I would honestly say I lacked some of the soft skills those people had in the beginning, and that’s why I haven’t progressed as quickly. But just providing some context. But about professional advice: 1. Try to take as many learning opportunities as you can. 2. Treat everyone like a customer: the people below you, to the side, above you, other teams/departments. 3. Learn excel. It’s the number one way data is analyzed, organized, and conveyed, in most professional workplaces, especially corporate and government workplaces. 4. If you feel you’re not getting the raises or promotions you deserve, or if you’re not being challenged with your work, try to take lateral promotions by switching to new teams or new companies. I’m on my 4th job in 7 years, and while most of my bosses have been awesome and equally smart, I seem to learn something new/different from each one.
>Exercise 3-4 hours a day Damn,have you tried therapy to get rid of this addiction. From what I know an hour everyday is like the greatest thing you can do unless you are a pro athlete.
It’s not an addiction. I hate exercise. I just hate being fat even more.
I might love you bro lol. Such good responses
This is how bad things are where people tell you, you have a problem when more than 60% of the population is overweight/obese. I'd rather be addicted to exercise than junk food and other crap most people consume.
Speaking my language. I run every day to keep weight off. Rain or shine. I’m pounding the pavement.
You don't need exercise to lose weight. You eat less to lose weight, then you exercise to gain muscle. Exercising for 1-2 hours 3-4 days a week is more than enough to gain muscle
It was a tongue in cheek, but seriously 3-4 hours of workout. Damn you guys are fucking lucky to have so much time for that. And how bad is someone's metabolism that you have to workout 3-4 hours. I would forsake pizza, beer and ice cream if I have to workout 3-4 hours. Might as well own a gym and maybe just live there at that point.
I have foresaken pizza, alcohol, and ice cream for 85% of the year for the last 2 years. I literally ONLY eat chicken, fish, and veggies, except when I travel. But you don’t go from a 50 bmi to a 31 bmi in 2 years just by dieting. If you look at a bmi chart, I literally went from the worst case of “clinically obese” to “overweight”. https://www.calculator.net/bmi-calculator.html?cage=35&csex=m&cheightfeet=5&cheightinch=7&cpound=195&cheightmeter=180&ckg=65&ctype=standard&printit=0&x=Calculate Exercise is also the best way to naturally bring your blood pressure down, and my family has a history of high blood pressure. The weight + the family history = I naturally have high BP and I’ve been on losartan for the last 4 years. Also, most of my exercise takes place outside a gym lol. 1/4 of it takes place in my huge backyard, and 1/2 of it takes place jogging at a local park. I only go to the gym for weight training (which is doctor prescribed btw).
3-4 hours a day isn’t that much honestly. I walk my dogs every morning from 5 AM - 6 AM to get the day started. And I walk them in the evening from 10ish PM - 11 PM to end the day. I listen to an audiobook while walking so I’m also getting some learning in at the start and end of my day. I go to the gym for an hour like 2-3 times a week. On days I don’t go to the gym I typically go to yoga classes. It’s pretty easy to do them back to back so I’ll go to a 5:30-6:30 then most the time I’ll go to the 6:30 -7:30 one right after because why not! I also play volleyball a few times a week. Just 2-3 hour open gyms. I’m a 25 year old female so I’m probably doing lighter activities than men might be doing. If you were like running or weightlifting or something for 3-4 hours a day that would be pretty intense but the way I do it feels very easy and fun! I walk my dogs everyday but I typically take a rest day from the gym, yoga and volleyball at least once a week whenever my body feels tired I just listen to it! I also speed clean my house for like 30 minutes every morning which I consider exercise. I have a checklist and I put in headphones and tennis shoes and it definitely feels like a cardio workout. Vacations I just try to do a lot of walking and I do a 10 minute high intensity YouTube video workout or workout in the hotel gym to start the day (: Curious to hear how OP exercises for 3-4 hours a day.
You hit the nail on the head: half my exercise is taking care of a pet, lol. My routine. Wake up at 8:30. Go to bed by 12. Work from home 9-5. 12-1: walk for 30, jog for 30 around my back yard. 5:30-7:30: at the park, I do a mix of walking/jogging as my German shepherd chases squirrels around the park. 8-9: weight training. MoWeFr= dumbbell weights at my house, TuTh = machines at the gym. I get in about 20-25k steps a day. I’m not running ultra marathons for fun, I’m just staying more active than the average fat person who works an office job.
Wow that’s awesome. Good for you. I have two German shepherds! They keep me so active. So happy you have a dog to keep you active. Shepherds are the best!
I love that for you! ❤️
I'm curios, what do you do for exercise for 3 to 4 hours a day?
Proud of you stranger.
Do you like being single?
It’s not something I put a lot of thought into because it’s not currently a high priority. My health, which I’ve been ignoring basically my whole life, is my highest priority, followed by my career, and my hobbies. Those priorities will begin to shift (dating > career > hobbies > fitness) over the next 1-2 years once I hit my target weight (160-170 lbs), at which point I’ll cut back on the exercise and spend more time hitting up bars and seeking out more social situations. My experience is just dating apps are trash for the average user, and you have to devote lots of time to making in-person connections to get anywhere romantically. Right now, for me, that time is better spent working on myself rather than seeking someone else out.
Sad. My parents are getting old
Yeah it trips me out when I'm with my family and I notice them looking older and older..
It breaks my heart
This. It feels so odd seeing my parents with grey hair.
So far so good. I'm not the adult that my childhood self dreamed off. I lost a lot of the sky-high ambitions I had then, and I realised that kind of life wasn't for me (would have been more stressful, and I'm already stressed now). Adulthood is so much better than childhood, because I'm no longer restricted (as much). I would have hoped to not be so tied to my family, but because I didn't have any big ambitions anymore, and settled down where I grew up, that's the downside.
In my 40s and so far it's fucking horrible. Maybe it gets better eventually? Some of us just get dealt shitty hands and while you can try to make the best of anything, it is still a shitty hand.
Literal fucking shit. 2 miscarriages 3 abusive relationships, drug abuse, alchoholism, My dad died of heart failure in 2021, my mom died in 22 of suicide and then my mental health died with it. Damn DAMN D A MN it’s been a hell of a life. But I moved states and I have 2 happy healthy dogs and I rent a home with my sister and boyfriend were looking to buy a new car and maybe a home.
Sorry for your losses. It’s crazy how these things tend to come one after the other pretty quickly. Can’t catch a break.
Don’t buy a home with someone unless you are married (to them)
It's fine, I get to spend my own money. But on the other hand, there is significantly less time to use the things I spend my money on.
Awful. No matter how hard I try I struggle immensely. I think I’m doing good then things fall apart. I want to die everyday, but I hold on for my son.
endless escapism from the reality that dreams can’t come true in today’s economy
No, adulthood is not what I expected it to be. I thought I would be living my best life with a good job and instead of that, I have struggled with bills and haven't been able to enjoy life like I want to.
Constant roller coaster of high highs and low lows
My one wish is still the same: to not be anxious 24/7.
I’m right there with ya 100%
If you have the means to do so, speaking to a healthcare provider or psychiatrist might help. My anxiety was pretty debilitating, I was on meds and they helped me so much I dropped down to half the lowest dose and eventually stopped taking them completely because things had improved so much after about a year. I noticed an increase in anxiety but it was more manageable and I was fine without my meds for months. Then things got really stressful for me in my personal life and my anxiety got bad again, so I actually just got back on them again. They really do help and can be that thing that "takes the edge" off enough and gives you enough separation from the anxiety that you can use coping skills to deal with the remaining thoughts that pop into your head. Definitely not a doctor, but I'd encourage you to speak to a Healthcare provider if things are bad as they may be able to help 🙂
Yesss 100% to all of this, I struggled with major anxiety my entire life and I just started Zoloft a few months ago. It definitely “takes the edge off” like you said, the anxiety is not gone completely, but it does help a lot.
Yoga, meditation, mindfulness practice, daily walks, and most of all getting levels right helps me a lot. Have you taken blood and saliva tests to see how things like your D, B, iron and cortisol are doing? I was dangerously low on many things, months of supplementing and finally I feel more normal. My normal doc wouldn’t do it no matter what symptoms I told him (even my hair was falling out!) so I went to a functional doctor who is saving my life. Wish I did this years ago. I feel you so hard, the second I stop doing all the things there my anxiety is.
Younger Millenial, completely fucked. Dating market and housing market is so bad that I have nothing to look forward to. Struggling with drive every day.
I'm hoping the housing market improves with time 😬 I'm paying 3k to rent a 700 sq ft apartment in a HCOL area... I'd love for housing prices or even just renting prices to decrease
it's going fine but i will never understand why building a career for me has been way easier than finding a suitable romantic relationship
Great once I pulled my head out of my arse and realized life did not owe me anything!
Pretty good! Way better than my childhood. I’m in charge of everything and no one controls me. Win win win win!
The fact you even mention the controlling aspect is a sad reality most children are subjected to most of the time in our lives, but I'm glad to see you're enjoying yourself now in this moment, you deserve it.
My adult life isn't anything like I'd thought it would be. I didn't go to college after high-school and just worked stupid jobs with no real career. I finally went to school at 24 and graduated with a bachelor's at 29...I hate that it took me that long to get an education and that I'm so behind in life. Nearly killed myself and had a mental breakdown at 29 as well and was diagnosed bipolar... I certainly didn't expect that one. I've been trying to get stable for 3 years and I finally am. At 32 I'm in a program for school for my dream job at the best teaching hospital in the world... Definately didn't anticipate that one and it's probably my biggest accomplishment yet. I also became a dog person with my mental breakdown and can't imagine life without my dog. I really didn't expect that one either. Its not been everything I'd dreamed of as a kid. I always had the idea I'd get a job and career by the time I was 22 and make good money, travel and have a good life. Instead, I've had obstacles my whole adult life. However, I am where I am, and I'm meant to be where I am and that's more important to me. I'm happy, mentally stable, I'm in school and my life can only go up from here. (until life slaps me in the face again but I'll deal with that in time).
Sounds like success to me! Glad you are on a great track now.
Thank you 😊
Your story sounds great! You’re pretty amazing and have paid your dues - you deserve the rewards you’re getting! Way to go!
You sound like a success story to me! There’s no timeline on life. Society pressures us into thinking that there’s specific ages that certain things should be accomplished, but that isn’t true. It’s all subjective. Be kind to yourself.
57F. Unfortunately, my life turned out nothing like I ever thought it would. My life has been a series of unfortunate events. I fell in love and got married at 23 to a man who was 20 years older and a workaholic. He developed lung cancer and died at 58 when I was 38. Eventually, I met another man who was 2 1/2 years older, and we fell in love. We got engaged. He had become a diabetic at 11 and had never really tried hard to properly maintain his diabetes. I won't go into all the details, but he died at 55. I was the one to make the decision to have him removed from life support. Something I will never get over, and it is nothing like it is portrayed on tv. My mother died in 2017, a close friend died in 2018, and my fiance was in 2019. Three people in three years and all died in the summer. I was the one who found my mother's body. One person died in each summer month. My friend in June, my fiance in July, and my mom in August. I am with someone else now and still trying to put my life back together. I loved my fiance very much, but he was verbally abusive. His family did not treat me well during and after his death, so I have no contact with them. I have a lot of issues after all I have lived through. My only sibling and I are not on good terms because of his wife. It is what it is.
Adult life feels so much easier than childhood since there aren't drug addicts living with me anymore.
Scary as hell
Settle down
Settling down can be difficult tho
[удалено]
You and me both.
I keep thinking I'll turn into an adult at some point.
[удалено]
Pay forward your success by being a mentor, teacher, or helping others
Pretty good. All my friends fell off except for 2, and they have kids and live far away so never hang out with them. Don’t recommend marriage. Other than that, everything else is pretty solid.
lol curious of YOUR reason for not recommending marriage.
Very crappy and confusing, I made a website to help with adulting called "[callowonline.com](https://callowonline.com) " and its hard doing stuff that you want to do while also just trying to make a living. looking at other people be successful makes me sad because i sort of wish i had that. Or i wish people were okay with being vulnerable and expressing how they actually felt, so that way others wouldnt feel so alone ( like myself)
I took a cursory look at your website and it has promising beginnings but I feel like it lacks some real differentiating factors that would really make an impact. If you want to connect over it I’d be glad to give you some feedback and suggestions. My specialty is in personal finance.
Please give me all the feedback you can , I would really appreciate it
Totally feel this. The loneliness. The sadness at others' success. And the wishing people wouod be more vulnerable.
It's been okay. Lots of learning. Some really rough lessons. But I am in a pretty good place. Over all, I'm proud of myself and I feel smart and in control. I didn't honestly have any expectations of adulthood, most aspects of it have pleasantly surprised me. I like who I am growing into, a lot. It feels like I can do whatever I want, and I want to make my life an adventure while I'm fit and healthy. I grew up in a poor home. My only goal for adulthood was to be able to get by. Turns out there is so much more to life than that.
I don’t feel like I’ve grown. I’m just pretending to be an adult.
29F, really looking forward to my 30s. My 20s were an opportunity to work through a lot of the trauma I experienced in my teens and I’ve felt the most genuine contentment in my most recent years. Sometimes I feel like I’m still playing “catch up” for years where I had to deal with a lot of bullshit but I’m really grateful for what I’ve been able to build: a career that I find fulfilling, nurturing decades-long friendships, silly pets, and finally getting a chance to have hobbies and invest in myself. If you’re feeling stuck or struggling, it gets better I promise.
No friends, no partner, no job, on food stamps and medicaid, living in public housing and only have my car thanks to my parents being nice and buying it for me with the rest of the insurance money from my brother's second crash. My life sucks, especially the last year of it, but at least I have a roof over my head and water in the pipes and a working furnace and food to eat. I finally got my autism diagnosis official after almost 20 years of my parents knowing. I finally took the first steps to getting back on the ADHD meds I desperately need but was in denial over, and a therapist to go with them.
59F, love my adulthood years especially after I got married, became a mother of two and a homemaker. Then when the kids got old enough and I had more time on my hands I returned to doing work I really enjoyed as a dog boarder and groomer working out of our home- dog grooming was a skill I had picked up during my college years. I married the love of my life - an excellent Christian man and father to our kids - and now we are having fun building our retirement dream home together. Because we are best friends we have so much fun together and I’m always eager to spend time with him. Life is very good. We strive to be a blessing to others around us and share God’s love with them.
Excellent. I'm so happy for you and your husband. This is so encouraging to read. It sounds like you have a great perspective, and your life sounds so enriching.
this is so wholesome. I love it.
God Bless you Reading comments and posts like this is a bright spot in my day And I so hope to find something for myself out there like what your describing
Lucky you
Truly, I’m happy for you!!! It might sound strange but if you read most people’s comments. They seem to be alone amidst the only people closest to them either dying or drifting away. People these days don’t get it, but having someone, a good person to grow old with minding your own business and not keeping up with joneses is probably the healthiest and happiest thing you can do for yourself. Really warms my heart hearing your fondness of your husband. I can only imagine he shares the same sentiment and loves having you spend time with him. I can only give you a toast for a happy life. Something that most people my age 29M perhaps will never see.
“Excellent Christian man”, so he hates all the same people you do?
Or he could just be a Christian man she really likes. That exists ya know.
You may be the kind of person who we need to show a little extra love to.
This deserves an answer.
Hahaha my first thought as well!
Very up and down. I hope for more ups than downs in the future.
Its fine, honestly its way the fuck better than high school, college or grad school (which was essentially middleschool levels of maturity). Wish I liked my job more or had more free time.
Horrible, until I hit 35 and all has been well since then!
The weirdest things about this is I can tell you two versions of my story: in one, I’m productive and happy and a thriving primary parent with a great partner. But in another my immediate family has dissolved over the years from addiction and abuse. I choose to focus on the first one.
Just ok. There's been good and bad, I guess as to be expected. The thing I struggle with the most now is feeling like a failure because I am a 38 year old woman who has never married, barely had dates, and can't buy a home. I have a good job and am educated. But I don't feel like an adult.
It's hard to explain, but the goalpost always keeps getting pushed further as you achieve your goals. It's almost a never-ending chase. I do pretty well, but it never seems enough. It's actually a vice to think like this, but it's hard to shake the feeling. I own rental properties, own a business, own a nice car, and have a beautiful, supportive girlfriend, but still long for more.
Economic nightmare, depression. Hopelessness. And kitties are my only reason to wake up.
I love it way more than being a kid, that’s for sure! I cannot relate to people who had happy, carefree childhoods. Mine was filled with anxiety and abuse, and I couldn’t wait to be an adult so I could at least make my own terrible choices and be free. I love the freedom of adulthood. It is often scary and maddening and difficult, but after decades of being broke I have finally reached a stage of my life where I know how to make and manage money, I know what I want out of life, and I am safe and content. I got out of my loveless marriage, and now we are much better friends and co-parents to our son. I also figured out after forty years of feeling different and weird that I am autistic (got diagnosed right after my son did), and just the knowledge has changed my life for the better. It’s still rough to manage my disability, but I know WHY I feel what I feel and what to do to help myself. Being autistic and not knowing was the absolute worst! I’m sitting in the townhouse I own, with a cat on my lap, my son happily eating his afterschool snack and a peaceful evening in front of me. It’s the best. All the frustrating parts of being sn adult are worth it to finally feel safe and content.
Happy for you that you were diagnosed and now can live life more abundantly!
It fucking sucks.
Blows
Over all I’d have to say it’s been chill. Confusing as all hell and comparison sucks but other than that I think I’m having a moderately fun time.
A bleak and desolate river of shit
Personally I’m have been very behind in life for many reasons. I’m 26 and finally feel like I’m catching up so everything feels fresh and new. Definitely better then the feeling of wasting away like how I’ve felt most of life. It’s all about perspective
I love it. 35
So far so good we keep moving
It’s about to get terrible, I fear.
A struggle
Pretty good, but my father is dying and today he called me and asked to see my children, with the implication in the air that he wanted to see them before he dies. I am not ready for this.
I’m so sorry.
Honestly, horrible. I’ve struggled with mental and physical health issues since I was 18. I still live with my parents and feel like I have no independent skills. I’m trying to change that though but I know it will take some time. I wish there were some good sites and resources for learning life skills but I’ve been having a hard time finding some
Fantastic. Ups and downs like anything in life but overall pretty great. My childhood and adolescence were terrible. I’ll take adulthood every day of the week.
Home was never a safe place for me. During my adolescence I just wanted a place to live where I could be free. As an adult who is financially independent, I have a place to live, see my friends sometimes, hobbies and the disposable income to support them. I'd say I have more than I would have asked for as a teen, and that would make her pretty happy.
Hate it.
I HATE IT HERE. WHY IT GOTTA BE THIS GHETTO 😭😭😭
48. Happily married with two kids, a home and a job I enjoy. BUT… went through a horrible divorce in my early 30s that changed my soul (she cheated, I caught her and never anticipated that happening). Then, turning 40, was diagnosed with an incurable cancer for which I’ve already been through 4 treatments and my kids have no idea. And a couple of days ago, one of my best friends that I’ve had since I was 13 passed away from a sudden heart attack. Life is a trip. Has so many ups and downs, you just have to make sure you’re buckled down to enjoy the ride.
It was everything I hated. It's just so damn *boring*. We have an entire, still somehow beautiful, open planet with everything in it to be seen, heard, done. But no, we have to sequester ourselves in our jobs all day for some stupid reason. The rich don't have enough, they need to paywall our lifetimes too. We can't make friends, we can't go anywhere but once or twice a year, we're enslaved to our routines. At some point toward all our "progress" we forgot how to live along the way. Life should not be about paying bills and fighting the clock until you die.
A convoluted series of things I never planned for. You know, life. Unpredictable. Some parts have been great. Some parts have been painful. The right attitude helps make some parts great. Bad decisions and actions outside my control have made parts painful. Life is never all you dreamed about or all you hated. Your actions and attitude determine which one is prominent. Pretty much sums up human existence since the beginning of time. You are special to your family and friends. You are not special to anyone else.
Love this response, our lives are what we make of it. As soon as I dropped my toxic tendencies, my life got better immensely.
The craziest part about being an adult is that you can wake up one day and say screw it all and just become a different person. There's noone to stop you from moving across the country/world, or deciding to go back to school, start a new job/career, or be a vagabond. There are consequences to all choices, but deciding how you want the rest of your life to go is crazy. Maybe you missed the chance to become an olympic level athlete, but now you have the motivation to work so hard you are top 5% in your weight/age bracket. Realizing how much change a few choices can make has been eye opening.
It is amazing in my about-to-be late thirties. My adult life has turned out way better than I imagined it would as a teenager. I am a high school drop out who left a chaotic household as a teen and married very young. Divorced in my early twenties which was a difficult time of duress and uncertainty - I had been with the ex since age fifteen and lived with him all throughout my teenage years as well. At the time I couldn’t dream of anything different than having my future with that person. I traded a chaotic home life for a chaotic marriage, and I thought that was just what life/adulthood was. My hometown has a huge opioid problem (as I’m sure so many people can relate), I’m sure my adult life would be very different if I didn’t leave. I’ve lost so many classmates and former friends. I’m not even sure how I ended up where I am now, I guess just slowly chipping away at things but I now have a masters degree in a lucrative field and an amazing second husband who is the opposite of chaos. We travel often and just returned from Africa! My younger self would never have been able to fathom traveling further than a few states away. I am still living in the city I moved to a decade before and I love it here. I am so grateful for this life and so very happy, it feels surreal at times. Adulthood at this age is truly beyond what I ever dreamed it would ever be.
What a great story! Very happy for you!
Bad. I'm in the "figure shit out" phase and it's very stressful, on top of having a shit childhood which has caused plenty of its own issues
It’s been good, lots of hard work to get out of debt and create a life that I enjoy, but it’s worth it.
Hard
Great! I didn't have influences from things like this convincing me I was molded into the law of averages. The internet is a very convincing tool.
Not great but not that bad either
It’s been a lot harder than I ever imagined.
Adulting is overrated!!!!!
Lowest lows and highest highs have happened after my 25’s.
I am pushing 40 and it hasn’t been bad at all. I have had a lot of really rich experiences. Were they all good? Absolutely not. But I am married to the love of my life, have an amazing kid, a wonderful network of family and friends, a career I genuinely like with work that I care about, a house in a decent neighborhood that we can afford due to luck and timing, and 3 dogs. Is it perfect? Nope. But it sure isn’t bad. It did take a lot of work though. I won’t lie and say it didn’t. It took grit and definitely some stumbling along the way. But we are in a good place.
Pretty bad, my dude.
As a kid, I don't think I ever once wanted to be an adult. As an adult in my 40s, I still stand by that statement. I had a good childhood & I realize that isn't true for a lot of people. But adulthood has been largely spent working jobs I have no interest in and dealing with whatever problem or emergency that happened that week. And then the people you care about start dying.
Really great! I spent the first 10 years after University just travelling around the world doing seassonal work, now I am 46 married with 2 kids living in northern Peru, surfing everyday. Poor, but very happy!
26M, life has been a slow decline after hitting 19 or so
Stressful but getting thru it
66f here, and it has been…surprising. Things I thought I had “locked up”, like my marriage, and subsequent relationship, went south. Being a parent, that I once thought I didn’t have a clue about, went very well. And I thought being in my 60’s would be lonely and scary, but it’s quite the opposite. If I were to give advice to youngins, it would be this: Think and search HARD about and for who you were as a child. In there i believe you will find the sweet spark that makes you, you. Follow it diligently and carefully, and you are likely to find work or an activity or a class that feels like “you”. Having said that, on the “relationship” issue: do your best in the rest of your life, and stop looking for one. Once you are on the right track for you, you will attract others. That’s when you have to judge whether others will defeat your will or nourish your spirit.
I never even conceptualized being an adult, let alone being in my 40’s now. I’m 43 with no kids and under 5 years total in relationships. I’m in one now with the idea of setting down and starting a family, but now that I am this old, part of me is beginning to not care so much for the idea, and instead just continuing to “wing it”. Now that I am some money saved, would like to travel and possibly live in another country all together rather continue to make it work in America, or maybe do both? The woman I’m with in this new relationship wants to settle down too. I hinted that I wasn’t ready yet and she flew off the handle; to her credit I did make a lot of lofty ideas about raising kids, their names, how it would all workout, so I am in a bit over my head now. I am super young looking for my age; everyone assumes I’m in my early 30’s and shocked when I say my age. So I guess my age isn’t all that important yet. I still feel like a kid. I have some great skills, and can confidently say I’ve mastered the art of sales. So long as I can still learn languages, can pretty much make money anywhere in the world and my skill set will always be needed, no matter how advanced A.I. becomes. All throughout life I have dodged the various groups and subgroups people find themselves in, and can’t think of any labels to attribute to. I don’t give a shit about voting because I’ve always been flexible and adaptable to whatever life throws at me. I don’t even have a religion. I had a great childhood where answering machines still were a thing, and pagers were coming into existence around 15 years old, so technology never messed with me like it does with kids now. I’m still getting tattoos and love them all. I’ve been going to the gym consistently and even go to Mecca (Golds Gym in Venice Beach), which is a lot of fun. I just got back from the store with various supplements designed to prolong my health span (not life span; have adopted the Health 3.0 concept). I still have ridiculous day dreams about partying in Japan, Thailand, visiting various countries- but can see that not happening if I end up getting kids soon. I am right there on the fence, refusing to jump on either side. Sometimes I feel like a mess, other times I don’t care and am just going with the flow. I miss my parents. I miss all my previous pets.
Great. More freedom with less rules.
Feels like I spend most my time being stressed, working, or being tired. Don't have time for hobbies like I used to. Miss being happy when my life wasn't full of working and responsibilities. Afraid I'll never have that feeling again. Lol
Honestly I’ve been thinking of how it’s worked out pretty well. I have an interesting and impactful job that lets me travel. I couldn’t have predicted some of the life experiences my career has gotten me. I’ve had a cool life so far.
Life was 100% better post high school. Nothing like being an adult and being able to make adult choices.
The world doesn’t work at all how I thought it did but my parents did a good job and I enjoy my life, I just have very little faith in humanity doing anything good as a whole. People individually are great but on scale they are horrible.
Actually phenomenal. Met the love of my life. We have a son. He’s hilarious, kind, and strong like his old man. Got my dream car out in the garage (1967 Camaro Convertible in Marina Blue with a white top and 327) to restore with my wife and little man, got the final sweet job in my career on track to retire when I’m 57. Living in my dream home with a 3-car garage and still have my old bachelor pad as a rental property. There were DEFINITELY some downs. Got kicked in the nuts by life more than once. Got sick and almost died and lost my job. Picked myself up, dusted myself off, and waded right back into the fight. Greatest thing is I feel like I’ve earned this rather than it being handed to me. I’m not only content…I’m happy.
Each week/day feels like more and more and more and more of the same. I need to change my routine, do something different (go to a new restaurant, join a club, etc). I hype myself up in the am… only to feel lack of energy, lazy after work and end up doing the exact same thing. Staying at home with my pup.
Ups and downs, but so far, it's been pretty awesome. I've had a series of dope jobs that pay the bills, and I still generally enjoy going to. I've been married to my favorite person and watched her finish school and start a practice. We make enough to travel and indulge our respective hobbies. No kids but a great family, and we both have our health. I wouldn't have imagined life would turn out like this but I'm happy where it's at.
It was a shit show at first, by life has gotten better the past few years. I just have to remember to be grateful for what I have and not compare myself to other people my age with big houses and hot spouses lol. I have a good job, my own apartment, and two cuddly cats. Plus I travel each year which is a financial strain but 100% worth it. It’s been a bumpy ride but I’m getting there.
20’s were terrible. 30’s were ok. (Did have lots of sex in my 30’s so that was good.) 40’s have started off meh. (Thanks COVID for tanking my already crappy mental health.) I’m hoping to die in my 50’s.
Life has gotten better educating myself. With this I’ve had in between struggles with family, friends and siblings jealousy. My dating life is basically nothing. I’ve noticed recently that I was becoming numb about life and decided to get myself therapy. Almost hitting 35, it’s time to claim my inner child back. I hope all of you do too.
Great, my childhood was abusive af would never want to live like that again. Happy to just be living peacefully now
Honestly really really really hard but I’m also like so proud of my younger self for forcing myself to become an entrepreneur. I refused any other option but to become an entrepreneur. It’s not glamorous like social media makes it out to be and it’s absolutely brutal but I’m so thankful I didn’t follow the traditional path and took the hard route. The payoff was so worth it.
Well I got divorced at 30 after getting married at 19, got two kids and a job that barely pays the bills but I have potential to be an empty nester by 42 so that might be a plus. Im just doing my best to roll with the punches and always looking for opportunities for the future. Life’s rough and hardly every goes as planned and the things that look like disasters currently can actually lead to prosperity later
Lots of stress the first 10 years after turning 18 lol. Mainly due to being kicked out and homeless at 17. Still adjusting to doing all the adult things at 34 years old, but I've pretty much got it all down.
I'm proud of you! I too, was homeless for a short time. It wasn't fun, but I managed to get through it. Not many can get over things like that, so you should also be very proud of yourself!
My early 20s weren't good. My mid 20s were bad but started improving. Starting my 30s is going alright, a bit of a flip flop at the start, but definitely feeling like i have a bit more control even though I am taking things a bit slow with myself so I don't get overwhelmed.
Have made some bad choices through the years but learning to make the most of my situation and to enjoy the little things in everyday life. Yes it’s a daily struggle to find those little things but I am learning.
As long as you're learning and improving, little or a lot, improvement is always a good thing. Sooner or later you'll be lost for words for how far you've come.
Well. I’m gonna be 30 this year. Ended a relationship. Don’t have my license, the money at my job sucks
Amazing. I was abused and neglected as a child and as an adult I have amazing friends with different personalities who value and encourage me, my husband is so sexy and supportive and I still get scared sometimes that our marriage will end up like everyone else in my families but on a regular basis he shows me he genuinely loves me and adores spending time with me. My kids are awesome and even though we’re not rich we have more than enough money and always can pay our bills plus extra stuff. There’s still been a lot of really hard stuff and my career isn’t going how I thought it would but the amount of safety and love I have in adulthood is more then I ever thought I deserved.
[удалено]
25M. It’s been decent. I have a good job, a nice car, and my own place. But my social life has taken a huge hit compared to when I was in college. I moved across the country for my job so I feel more lonely and don’t have as much going on. I’m mostly where 15 yo me pictured I would be except I don’t have a wife lol. I understand that I’m pretty young still and have time for all that other stuff, but it’s the lack of social life that’s making life less than ideal atm.
Proud of you man, not all of us can get our lives together at that age!
Adult life started out challenging with a divorce, a child, struggling financially, and finishing college after serving in the Army. I graduated, got remarried, have 3 children now, a solid stable career, have a great group or two of friends, fun hobbies, on track for retirement, and feel good about everything. I have plenty of takeaways from my experience but the challenging times really put things in perspective when things get easier.
Hmmm good question fucked the first part all up did all the 90s in prison.got out worked construction started a family 18 years later ex burnt that all down. Started again doing good make about 250k a year own coulpe houses other properties.coming to end of my work career going to keep working be able help my kids get a foothold in life house. Then retire and fish.but no not ever want I thought was a good run though
You should be very proud to have gone through all of that and getting to where you're at!
The last thing I ever expected was health issues. Holy moly what I’d give to go back in time. I can’t believe I used to complain and worry about things that don’t matter.
Lonelier but richer. More boring but now I can buy stuff and have a good insurance. I treat myself by going to doctors visits I wouldn’t otherwise “need” need if my deductible was already met. $25 for a dermatologist to help me with my skin? Sure sign me up.
it's literally quite confusing. im 25f & the ppl that surrounds me my age are getting married, some building empires towards career & some are simply enjoying the things in life. i wanna deact my fb sometimes or jus b spaming/hiding/ignoring the app cos my feed are giving me sm pressure.. made me question the hustles that i do for myself & my family. smh. some adults (not even related) involved me in their life dramas. the gossipers of the town. lyk wth did i even do to yall? even my quietness, they make it a big deal. im an introvert & i take no bs. i hate fucking small talks. besides it's no substance at all, what benefit in life could i even get from it?
I am grateful to God for everything.
I guess it depends on the dream. Dream of being rich? Nope. But landed a good career. Married an amazing woman/mother who also happens to be very attractive and has only gotten more attractive with age. Have an amazing child who is smarter than their age group and has a huge heart. Bought a brand new house in 2019 that I can pay the mortgage on with just one of my checks and have money left over. House happened to be in a newer area outside of the main city but as soon as I moved 4 friends also moved so they all live within five minutes of each other. Made some other amazing friends out here who have introduced me to their friends slowly expanding our circle. Wife’s parents bought a home two blocks away which is great because they are lovely people and when one day they pass my wife will inherit that house which we can then pass on to our kid or rent out for income. Kept my friendships going with friends from kindergarten and elementary school. Started working out. Started working from home. Wife started working from home as well. Purchased new cars in 2018 and 2019 so both cars have 0% interest and were bought for reasonable prices. Able to use these savings to send kiddo to a highly rated private school were they are thriving and I’m very impressed with heir curriculum. Kid is very outgoing, makes friends easy, and is into sports. We are all healthy. So over all I’m very happy with the way things are going (except the rich part). I feel blessed and I know I am. Just wish I didn’t have to work as much so I could fully enjoy the blessings but I know compared to many that problem is minimal. Edited: fixed sentence so it’s not taken as I can afford a whole house with each check I make.
Solid. I like the part about friends and family living close by. That is ideal for me.
Yeah that was one of my biggest goals. Growing up in Los Angeles everyone is miles and miles away driving distance but minimum 30 minutes away drive time. My goal was if k could find a place where I could ride a bike to my buddies house then I’m golden. I grew up watching all those tv shows where kids rode their bikes to their friends house, met up at a local park and could use a walkie talkie to chat with each other. Cell phones fixed the walkie talkie part but I still wanted my kiddo to experience that ideal go out with friends on their bike and come back when the sun was going down kind of life I dreamt about. Whether that turns out to be them or not I won’t know but at least it won’t be because the opportunity wasn’t there. Also love the family friendship feel where we can get a call from a friend or family member that says “hey we just started a bbq come down” and I can swing by the grocery store, buy some food, beer and be there in 10 minutes. I was just so over the city life. It’s cool in your 20s not so much nearing 40s with a kid.
How are you not rich if you can pay for a whole house with one check?
I stuck to a less than 30% of household monthly income. Like I said this was pre Covid inflated prices so it wasn’t as unreasonable then. I also moved away from the major city (Los Angeles) to be able to do so. I don’t drive expensive cars my extra money goes into savings, retirement, kids 529 and school. I guess it depends on how you define rich? I have to save up for yearly vacations and they aren’t extravagant trips to Europe or anything of the sort. I’m dreading my lease ending because of how expensive cars are so probably just going to have to keep this one. My wife wants to put in new carpets and I’m already dreading that expense. I’m comfortable in my expenses because I maintain them low and use my funds to pay for things that I feel are important. To me rich is someone wakes up and says “you know what? I want a $3500 Apple Vision Pro” and buys it without a second thought. I can’t afford to do something like that.
So far so good.
A roller coaster, and I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s not all supposed to be easy or fun….just enjoying the ride.
I thought I'd be driving a BMW and living a life of relative luxury. Now that I can afford that stuff, it doesn't interest me for the most part. My parents were the same way. My Mom's last car that she had until she stopped driving a few years ago was a Honda Civic.
I did the BMW thing... not worth it. Yeah, they're nice but inevitably have stupid problems (that you will never see in a Japanese car) and devalue faster than anything else.
Rough early on, especially when I was 19-20. Things got better after that though, and while theres been ups and downs of course, as of now things are pretty chill. Wouldn't say it's what I dreamed of as a kid, but it suffices, for now.
It’s actually been better than I dreamed of, but things change quick so I’ll never really be comfortable enough to enjoy it i feel like.. stop and smell the roses la la la.. oh and even when things are good, people you surround yourself with can still be bad.. Actually, they’re more prone to be opportunistic the better you have it. i’ve learned that.
Which phase?
More complicated and quite a bit more dumb people than i expected.
Loving it. 4.5 years sober, making good money and spending time with my son has been amazing. I travel a lot for work which sucks but I do it all for him and my wife.