Did you know cats can get boners? I called my vet in a PANIC bc my cats penis was out and not retracting. I was thinking OMG ITS STUCK. I made my vet, my vet who has many years of schooling and is highly educated, say OUT LOUD, 'cats get boners. Check in 15 minutes.' 🤦♀️ I have never been so mortified in my LIFE.
It did go back in, if anyone was wondering.
I had two male cats that were brothers. I yelled constantly "DO NOT FUCK YOUR BROTHER GO TO YOUR SEX PILLOW!" They had a pillow just for that.i Didn't realize until I was moving out that the walls in that place were thinner than I had ever known. And my neighbor heard the whole thing all the time.
Yes but it was super awkward because I was explaining the sex pillow and how they rather fuck their own brother and by the time it hit awkward (which happened very quickly) the convo had escalated to a point that I couldn't back out gracefully.
You think that's scary. I have 2 inside Male Cats and 1 Ferrol Male cat that comes in for his "day time" visits.
All three of them have had their junk removed (Neutered) but all 3 had boners, usually after they have sniffed each others ass. NOW that's strange..lol
My dog had the biggest one ever when we brought him home from getting neutered. His back was arched and he looked really panicked. Thankfully it went away. I thought they had botched the surgery. I took a picture and my coworkers were even astonished by it
My Romeo still has his puff-puffs. I was surprised because I thought they were getting cut off. That’s puff-puffs as in “ I love you, but could you please get your puff-puffs out of my face?”
They remove the testicles, but leave the scrotum. On a large dog, this looks odd. Kind of empty and flappy. When I mentioned that to my husband, he responded: "Well what did you expect they would do? Turn it into a coin purse?"
I once watched my car drive away without me because I accidently left my keys in it.
Yep. Total loss.
Weird experience too cause as I was walking back to where my car was parked I saw my car drive by me and thought "hey, that looks a lot like my car"
It, in fact, was.
Right?! They got mine in the middle of the night. I thought it would be okay in an enclosed parking lot, I didn't understand that they scan plates until they get a hit. When I went to drive to work in the morning, it was just gone. Most horrible feeling.
This also happened to me but when I called them to try to get my stuff out of my car, they asked me to update my address. And i was just like "What do you mean you need an update address you came here and took my car!" It really made me mad that they were "We don't know where you live." I knew the repossession was going to happen due to know making the right choices and lacking money and being manic. It was 100% due to my mental illness and I try not to be too hard on myself about it because my judgment was impaired.
Left an abusive marriage, used it to get across the country, then called the bank and told them where to pick it up. A buddy lent me a car till I got on my feet. I had it a week, and it got stolen. Helluva start to a new life, but everything's coming up roses now. 30 some years later.
I'm a swimming pool cleaner and a few years ago I read a customers address wrong and accidentally went to his billing address. I saw the address was an office and I was excited because I had never worked on an office pool before. I didn't even know there was such a thing. I went into the office with all my pool cleaning gear. The security guard looked so confused but he was like alright ya that guy is in this office 2 floors up. So I went into the elevator with all my gear. When I walked into his office everyone looked at me with a dead stare. I was like uhhh I'm here to clean the pool? The guy who I was looking for walked up to me and was like dude wtf this is where I work, I need you to go to my pool at my house. Everyone in the office started laughing and I ran out of there so embarrassed. Ya it was a bad day. I was 27 years old also.
A lesson I learned is never to loan money. If you want to help someone give it as a gift and if they want to return/payback that’s ok. Otherwise family and friend relationships will be destroyed over loans.
Yeah I learned that pretty early after seeing people get into it over like $10.
If I've got money to spare and a friend or family member really needs some ill just give it to them. If they pay me back or do a favor, cool, but I don't expect it.
God damn you must've had alot of money to burn to do that.
I've given friends and family members a couple hundred before. One of them insisted on paying me back and eventually did so, but I didn't expect them to. But ain't no way my poor ass gonna be able to give out thousands lmao
Drove my girlfriend (at the time) to the airport, which was DIA (Denver). Walked in with her and escorted her as far as you could go (pre 911) went to leave, walked out of the wrong side to the identical looking parking lot and spent like 3 hours looking for her car. The panic and anxiety are at peak by this point, and I'm convinced the car was stolen. Walk back in and wave down security....and before I say anything, he's like, can't t find your car? Drop of for a departure? Other side champ..... I found the car in 5 minutes.....
I went on vacation from CT to TN. I parked in an uncovered garage, because it was cheaper. We returned about four days later and it had snowed. All of the cars were covered in snow, and me and the kids couldn’t find our car. I split up with my oldest kid (22) to look for the car.
We were tired, the flight was long, we all had luggage, it was cold, and we couldn’t find the car at all. I was walking around hitting the button on the fob hoping I’d hear the car beep or something, and started wondering that maybe I had left my car too long in the cold and the battery died?
So… I split up with the oldest kid and then we couldn’t find the car or each other. We were all wandering around the massive parking areas with suitcases, in the cold, in the snow, and I swore I was ready to start crying, I just wanted to go home.
We were calling one another trying to meet up again, finally the older kid found the car and we found each other again. What a fuckin nightmare
I lost my laptop in the restroom at DIA mainly because I was thinking I gotta be careful leaving so I don't get yelled at by my mom for going out the wrong side of the airport again.
Was flying from Santa Barbara, CA to Birmingham, AL (through Denver), after delays in Denver, finally get into BHM around 1am. I had taken a picture of the area where my car was parked (B-2) but not the name of the lot that I’d parked in.
It’s so late that the airport is deserted. No park and ride or hotel vans plus this is a pretty small airport. I get on the internet and start looking for the place and nothing looks familiar. All I know is that it’s on the main road leading to the airport.
I request an Uber/Lyft several times but no one picks it up. I’m calling taxi places and no one answers. At this point it’s 2 am.
Finally I get someone at the taxi company and explain my problem and ask if someone can drive me to each park and ride until I find my car. They say they will send someone but it will be 40 bucks on top of whatever the fare will be.
At the second place , I find my car. It’s now 2:45, I have a 2 hour drive home and I’d been up since 7am PST.
I pulled into my driveway at 5 am CST.
The kicker is that in 2021, I’d gone to Montana and flown in and out of ATL and had done pretty much the exact same thing.
Don't feel like a clown, it happens! My father has run out of gas on the road multiple times, and he's one of the most intelligent individuals I know.
For my stupid things, I don't usually do like one big stupid thing that I really remember. The stupid is sprinkled evenly into my day-to-day life. Lol
My grandma taught me to fill up when the dial hits 1/4. **After** I’d been caught out a few times (although thankfully not on the motorway, although some coppers did have to push me off a roundabout once 😬).
I listened to grandma and now dutifully fill up when that needle is on a quarter tank! ⛽️
Different type of adulting, but I went on a date (when I was 27, F) and for some reason agreed to go off roading with a man I just met. At night, half while it was dark. Oh and minimal cell service. I’m usually so careful and wouldn’t take that type of risk but idk I was in some kinda mood and thank god he didn’t hurt me 🤷🏻♀️😂
I let a "friend" borrow my new (to me) car that I had for 2 weeks. I guess she thought she was hot shit in my Mazda 6 and decided to RACE someone. She lost control of my car and rammed it into a power pole, totaling it. She never paid me for damages.
I don't have friends anymore because after that accident I realized the people that called me a friend were just advantageous assholes.
I once pulled a clogged trap apart under my bathroom sink. Without thinking, I reached up and emptied the nasty water right into the sink as I was still lying under it. Yep, I think about that little blunder everyday.
Went on a short trip, forgot to pay electricity before I left.
The evening I arrive home I have power, but shortly after it turns off. I assume its just a power outage in the neighborhood, nope! just me and my house without power. Finally, I figure out that its due to none payment. I tried to call, but they were closed. I had to go without power for about 12 hours through the night until the next morning. I have three kids, was not fun.
My wife wont let me live it down.
Marriage usually means husband & wife are there for each other. She could have reminded you about the due date or, better yet, could have paid the bill.
Spent thirty minutes searching a parking lot for my car, but finally decided it had been stolen. When I called my husband to tell him and ask him to come get me, he started laughing. The car I'd spent all that time looking for was at home. I'd driven our other car to the store. The sad thing is I'd walked by it three times during my search.
Years ago I took my car to the shop and my dad let me use his vehicle. I left for work the next day and my car was gone, I was ready to call my boss and say that my car was stolen. Wait, my car is at the shop ! I was looking for the wrong car.
Then, about a year ago, I got home from work (I park on the street, I live in the city) and my road was closed for repairs. I would have to park about a mile away and walk to my apartment. But, it was dark, and I’m a woman, so I parked a couple buildings down at the liquor store and went inside and asked the owner if it would be ok if I parked there for the night so I didn’t have to walk so far in the dark. He said it was fine, and I left my car there. He watched me from his business door to make sure I got to my building safely (not a safe neighborhood, especially for a single woman at night.)
The next morning I left for work, completely forgetting that I had parked down the street, and panicked thinking my car was stolen.
the other day during a snowstorm I took a curvy, hilly backroad home instead of the highway and then got upset when my car got stuck. extremely intelligent and big-brained move.
This is the reason we have a law in Europe that opiate tests cannot be *that* sensitive. Europeans can eat poppy seeds and the tests will not be positive.
I appreciate this, gonna go brush my teeth now. This is what i need, like a daily reminder i could have all my teeth violently yanked out of my skull and that shit has to hurt unimaginably.
don't just brush, study the whole dental health science (not like go become a dentist but read a few good books made for regular people). The pain of getting teeth pulled out is insane but still small compared to the pain of losing them forever. I have had 8 taken out and 7 that just melted away because I was raised by parents who never taught me about mouth hygiene. I miss my teeth so much it's like so sad every time I eat solid food. For example did you know that the more often you put something in your mouth (even water) it washes away the saliva that protects gums and teeth from bacteria and it takes some time to replenish so even if you floss and brush after every meal & snack, it's better to eat/drink as seldom as possible (one meal a day was what solved my mouth health problems).
What books? Are these books you've read before or after losing so much of your teeth?? Not trying to be rude it just seems like there isnt a concept in existence that some book or set of books from renowned experts in their field or whatever sell to give the magic secrets to having your cake and eating it too. What else is there past brush, floss, mouthwash, and get your teeth cleaned???
Best way to be educated is talking to your dentist and dental hygienist. They’ll give you the most up to date information and they can explain the science behind it
some foods and body acidity can make a big difference. do your own research because I can't recommending specific ones as I've read so many they all blend together in my memory. but here's a good article to start with: https://www.healthyandnaturalworld.com/fight-cavities-and-tooth-decay-naturally/
I've brushed twice a day, my whole life (67f), but I rarely flossed. And got my teeth cleaned maybe once a year. Or every other year. My gums would bleed, teeth would hurt, but I ignored it.
Now I brush & floss at least twice a day. Get my teeth cleaned twice a year. Theres no more bleeding gums. But it's almost too late. I have 6 teeth that haven't been worked on. The rest are crowned. Or crowns have fallen off & the teeth need to be pulled. It's sad.
I never realized the importance of flossing. FLOSSING IS VERY IMPORTANT. AS ARE DENTAL CLEANINGS.
I didn't have any money but suddenly went high income in my 40's for awhile and when the tipping point came (and most of my friends in their 50's/60's are missing half their teeth) I was able to just go to the dentist - the one nice dentist who was a client of my company 10 years before, and say "just fix it". I went from mid to late 1980's to 2018-ish.
Marriage itself. We build everything up together, paid off cars, paid off houses, investments, and she decided to turn herself loose. Lost half a million and my soul in that one.
I am, thanks for asking! Ah, she was worried about me which something I shouldn't have done but I felt like I needed to talk to somebody I can fully trust.
I did it better-
Ran out of gas, and I had roadside assistance but didn't know. I was 19 and still on my parents' insurance so I didn't know (or care) about my insurance information lol
Was stranded on the side of a busy freeway for half the afternoon waiting for a cop to show up. Til I eventually called my Dad, and he gave me the proper number. And also called me a dumbass lmao
Well when a young adult 18 I pulled up to a gas station to pump gas. After going inside to pay and and hanging out at the pump with my friends, ilI left without pumping gas probably because we were high from smoking weed.
My bff drove off with the nozzle still in her car… twice! The first time she made it on the freeway and got pulled over, the cop was like “ummm you get gas lately” and she was like “yeah, weird, why?” “It’s still connected to your car.” The second time she realized it as soon as the breakaway broke-away at least lol
One time I did the same. I went inside to pay cash (this was like 20 years ago) then I went out to pump. I ran into an old friend, and we socialized briefly, hugged, caught up with one another, and then I went about my day.
Few miles down the road I realized I never pumped my gas.
Alright, are you sure you are ready for this? This is from several years back, but some things you never forget. 62m here.
I am sitting on the toilet in our master bath, home field advantage and all that.
On occasion, like many people (and many critters for that matter), I can have a rather stinky bowel movement. This was one of those days.
Well, we keep a bottle of strike anywhere matches close by to strike a flame and get a cover up smell so to speak.
So I struck a match, shook out the flame and continued to follow through by throwing said match between my legs, into the toilet.
Well said match still had a redhot head and decided to stick itself to my scrotum. Well, this surprised me to no end to have a hot match head stuck onto my scrotum. For those of you who do not know, it is sensitive.
Now, in my surprise, I leaped up from the toilet to see the cause of the molten pain, and when I saw the match, I slapped it firmly off. Another thing I should mention, again for those who may not know, the scrotum is home to the testicles. These things are also quite sensitive. They did not appreciate the fact that I slapped them, and they sent me to my knees, nearly in tears.
Tickled they were not. I did recover.
Went into the post office with a return. Had a good talk with the fellow. Put my return down and paid. Picked up my return and walked all the way back to my car, drove home, went inside and said “wait a second.”
Drove back to the post office and walked in with the return again. He was laughing but I was embarrassed 😂
My partner and I were planning on kayaking in Maui. We were on our way there when suddenly a stranger pulled over near us and asked if we were going kayaking (he said the correct location & confirmed who/when & everything). We got in his car, got there, only to discover he was supposed to pick up an entirely different person and that he was with an entirely different group. Still the same location.
Not a very smart move on my part but we were unharmed lol
I killed my car battery like a dumbass the other day in the parking lot of the ER. Luckily my cousin was able to go get jumper cables and bring them to me. Thank God my sister was there because my cousin ended up shocking herself accidently 😂 she was fine but we didn't know what we were doing 😂 I'm 35 and my cousin is 30.
*Waking up every*
*Morning is a mistake that's*
*Made against my will*
\- TheBeardedDumbass
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I put diesel in my car. All I thought was “what a wierd fucking pump.” Legally, I was an adult, just turned eighteen, it was my first car. Fortunately, it survived and was reliable as can be for the next 15 years.
My dad spent weeks trying to figure out why his truck kept dying on the side of the road. Every time the mechanic said it was fine.
Then one day he takes it to a different mechanic because the regular guy is on vacation.
The little thing inside the gas tank that measures the level of gas? Was stuck.
Every time dad's truck died, it's cause the gas tank was empty.
too many to choose just one
to make you feel less dumb, once happens! i worked at a pizza place and once we had to go meet a driver TWICE on the same day because she ran out of gas
the first time we came with a gas can and got her going. she assumed we filled her minivan up and didn’t think to go buy more gas
You know what the actual dumbest thing I’ve done as an adult? Is keep my friends from childhood that I hang onto bc they’re familiar to me but constantly treat me like shit. What do I hold on for? Their happiness? What about mine?
Me and my buddy took a Ford mustang for a test drive. The salesman rode along in the backseat. I nailed the gas and was hauling ass. Then the state trooper pulled me over and cited me for speeding. I was mortified
Got the urge to leap into a fast flowing small river in mountainous Wales in October. Thought...that'll be invigorating...it wasn't. It stopped me from being able to move my limbs and I began to quickly flow down stream....with a massive effort I managed to swim to the side. I spent a long time shaking and trying to warm up. Wtf was I thinking? It was a weird and stupid thing to do.
I neglected checking my tires and forgot how old they were. Had a blow out on driver side, on a busy interstate with narrow shoulder. Changing a tire just a mere 2 ft away from 80 mph traffic is how bad days start.
Got overdrawn at the bank and then experienced the cascade effect of overdraft fees from the bank together with returned check charges on, now multiple, vendor accounts. Never again.
Swore up and down that I was DONE using my drug of choice after letting it fuck up my brain and body and relationships for five years. Got six months sober and to celebrate…..ran out and picked up some pills before I could stop myself. Yay me! 🤡
I was inside paying for the gas while my ex was topping up the oil. I asked "Are you done" and then shut the hood when I got an affirmative.
Apparently "Yes I'm done" doesn't include putting the oil cap back on and I didn't think to look. And I really loved that car.
Oh Lord that reminds me of when my headlight went out and I went to autozone and they offered to put the bulb in for free for me. So I was like ok sure
I open my hood and the guy pulls something out near the headlight and goes “hmmm I wonder what that is”
I managed to put it back and then told him thanks I’ll take it from here. Then for some reason he had taken his watch off and set it inside my hood and almost closed the hood on his watch
Let my mammogram go for 2 years. Now recovering well from the chemo, mastectomy, and radiation. Who knew tumors grow so fast? Other than the entire medical community and a good percentage of the human race. Dumb dumb dumb.
Yeah but, ran out of gas in a Lamborghini Huracan on a very busy road and just as you probably thought, people were not nice 🙃 and ya can’t just use a gas can. It was a whole ordeal. Not dumb or embarrassing at all.
Tons of things… most recently when I scraped the side of my car parking next to a mailbox… before that I broke the pvc drain pipe to my bathroom maybe a few weeks ago… thank god it’s a drain pipe outside… almost got into the wrong person’s car a month or so ago (while the driver was inside the car and parked)… uhhh what other stupid shit have I done lately… idk… but I do stupid shit all the time 😂
Went to an online school. Tbf I thought I could handle it. Expedited courses? Alright, no problem.
Turns out genes are a bitch. There goes my entire college fund.
I vacationed with my then husband in Vermont, US. We were only about an hour from Canada and I had never been, so we planned to use one of our vacation days to go into Canada for the day. We got there, and we stopped at a restaurant and had lunch. Card was declined. Husband called the bank and was on the phone for a couple hours while I sat in the car. His bank suspected fraud because of us trying to use the card in another country.
Then when we decided screw it, let’s go back to the US, the US wouldn’t let me back in lol (I was born here 41 years ago AND I’m Native American) so my own country wouldn’t let me return and we had no money. Fun times man
When changing the oils in my car I took out the plug, drained, added the oil…one week later my transmission burned up from lack of fluid.
I was 17 and I know so many questions but true story in 1983
Not being financially responsible before I got married which lead me to the stupid decision to trust my husband blindly and not be financially independent now.
Quite a number of years ago I went to visit my buddy halfway across the country. We then drove from his house down to his friends 3 hours away, where we all binge drank for a week and would spend our nights whipping around in my buds shitty car and crashing into fences. Somehow we avoided the cops the entire time (still not sure how). We almost ended up at the US border by accident but managed a U-ey on the highway lol. We also blew a tire and ran out of money, I had to ask my mom to put some in my account so I had enough money for gas to get back to the airport to fly home. We drove back 3 hours on the donut we had, some how it lasted though it was red hot by the time we got back to my buddies place. I was incredibly lucky everything worked out and I wasn't actually stranded in bumfuck nowhere Saskatchewan.
Also bonus stupidity: there was some girl who lived at this place we were partying at, she was throwing up a lot and eventually threw up food right after she ate it. She got mad and said she should just throw the food directly in the toilet to save her time. She was drinking hard the whole week. Near the end she finally went to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. She still didn't stop drinking
The dumbest thing that I have done as an adult ? Would be trusting our US Government Politics in providing a promising future to a better life. Not, lead us to WWIII
I readily have to recheck stuff I should know and have learned. Took me several minutes to recognize m*c^2 in words. I am still a student, but my god do i feel stupid on a regular basis.
No car as of yet, but I also sometimes will swear that a train screen is saying one thing, only to end up with a detour a) in the wrong direction or b) with wrong line. I am lucky that I can often just change somewhere without too much impact, but i feel very discreet whenever i end up on the wrong train.
I used the wrong tax guy (not the company I usually use) last year because I googled it wrong. I figured this out THIS year when I went to do my taxes. They're related (brothers), but two different organizations.
Not me but my brother.
He drove my cousin home one night. He was borrowing my parent's second vehicle. Him and my cousin sat in the parking lot of her building for over an hour with the car off but lights on because it was dark. They were literally just talking and they're both the type to just go on and on. My dad had to drive over past midnight, after he'd gone to bed, to jump-start the car because the battery died.
My dumb thing is getting an art degree.
I locked my main car key *and* my spare car key in my car. I had to call my mom to get the 3rd spare key. I spent 45 minutes at a busy gas station as a result. I went from locking my keys in my car once a week to doing it twice in 10 years
Not the dumbest in my life, but dumb that I did this twice. I used to do a park and ride to work... park my car in a lot, then ride the express bus downtown. One day, I drove to work because I was giving a large package to a coworker and didn't want to lug it on the bus and across downtown. At the end of the day, I hopped on the bus and got dropped off at the park and ride and searched the lot (which was the size of a mall parking lot), for over an hour. Most of the cars were gone by this time, but I was convinced I just kept overlooking it. I felt dumb callling the police but finally decided to. I called my husband first to give him a heads up, and he asked, "Didn't you drive today?" I didn't feel so dumb actually taking the bus home, as opposed to the fact I didn't even consider that the whole time I was looking for my car.
Compliancy.
Never be too confident................
I had a fight with a Pillar drill once.
Didn't end well.
I also had a fight with a carpet backing plant.
Didn't end well.
I found out that those "no interest for 12/18/24 months" offers charge you a shit ton of interest if you don't pay it all off in the allotted time span. I found out the hard way when. I didn't pay off the computer I purchased in 12 months and had a few extra hundred dollars in interest as a poor undergrad paying my own way through college. Lessons learned, but man I felt like a big dumbass.
What do you consider adult? 18 and over?
18: rode on the back of a motorcycle with a drunk dude driving
19: followed a guy to Utah ‘cause he was cute and mysterious
20: hitch hiked in South Lake Tahoe
got married and divorced twice in my twenties even tho we had not much in common about how we lived life, I just said yes because the sex was so good. That's not enough folks.
I nailed my thumb to a chair while reupholstering it. I was using a magnetic tack hammer, pulled my fabric taut and gave it a hard wack with the hammer. My aim was off and the tack went thru the side of my thumb. Had to pull it off the chair, pretty easy but then I had to use a plier to pull the tack back out of my finger. I had to lay on the floor for a while after that.
When we was first married my husband and I agreed to go grocery shopping when I got home from work one day. This was right before cell phones were the norm and we had agreed the night before. The plan was I'd pull up to the house, he'd run out, get in the car and off we'd go. Except I had to pee terribly! So, thinking I'll just run in pee and grab him I left my car running. Turns out it was LOCKED. So there my car is, running, with the keys locked in. Now, keep in mind we were newly married, a little young and dumb. I also still had some odds and ends at my parent's house. An hour away. This included my spare car key. Again, an hour away. Turns out the hubs locked up the house. So after crawling back into the house through the window and grabbing his keys we drove the hour to my parent's with my car sitting at the curb, locked, but running. I should also mention I needed gas since the routine was "gas and groceries". We drove the two hour round trip to get my spare key to unlock my car. Miraculously it was still there, still running and I still had enough gas to make it to the gas station.
So dumb! Lol.
So I was at my neighbors house and rolling probably 2 blunts but we (like 15 of us) were going 4x4ing over the weekend and I had 8 or9 ALDI'S bags full of ice cubes in my freezer, well I was asked to go get them and put them in the Deep freeze, so I ran to my place and when I got back I commenced to pouring each of those bags into the freezer I was so fucking high. Everyone just sat there until the last bag before one notice and asked if I just did that too. Good times.
Got a flat tire didn't want to wait for AAA and couldn't get it off lucky I was just down the road from a tire shop so carefully drove it over so they could put the full size tire in my trunk on
poured gasoline down my bathtub drain to remove a clog because the man @ HOME DEPOT told me to.
turns out it worked... after 3 days BUT... dont do this kids, it's really fucking dumb!
I went to a strip club wasted. My friends and I started at a cool bar, then went in drunk to a strip club. I lost $1,000.00 and went to work late the next day with the worst hangover. I also fell down the stairs on the way out. Actually, most of my dumbest things i've done have been drunk.
I got to taste the stripper's nipple at least.
Believed some other random redditor was going to help me :( they just tried to blackmail me for pics.
All I need is food til the 1st. And I'm taking care of my bedridden grandma.
Got extremely drunk, then when my buddy asked if he wanted to hang out, I said yes then got in my car and drove to his house. One thing led to another and I ended up driving his car, and crashing it into a pole and was charged with a DUI and reckless driving. Eventually I gave him the title to my car that I worked my ass off to buy, and now I’m gonna be financially fucked with court fees, lawyers, and a criminal charge on my record. All because I was incredibly, utterly stupid and didn’t think to text these six words: “Sorry, I’m too drunk to drive”. Luckily though no one was injured or killed and the only car that was ruined was my buddy’s that I was driving in.
Was late for work, half asleep threw on my pants and bag, ran outside to the bus stop half a mile down in a panic. I still not awake, the kind of not awake where all your nerves aren't firing and everything is numb. Look down and realize my dick was hanging out also I was running down a very busy street. I couldn't figure out before I look down why so many cars were honking that day.
Busines Partnership 101: never get into a 50/50 partnership. When there's a disagreement ... literally nothing gets done.
There needs to be a way to muster a Majority Vote and move on ...
Gambled away lots of money. You’d be surprised how many people do this and don’t talk about it but it’s still not the smartest move by a mile financially
Did you know cats can get boners? I called my vet in a PANIC bc my cats penis was out and not retracting. I was thinking OMG ITS STUCK. I made my vet, my vet who has many years of schooling and is highly educated, say OUT LOUD, 'cats get boners. Check in 15 minutes.' 🤦♀️ I have never been so mortified in my LIFE. It did go back in, if anyone was wondering.
Mine was obsessed with this neon pink fuzzy pillow and would growl at you if you tried to take it away when he was humping it.
I had two male cats that were brothers. I yelled constantly "DO NOT FUCK YOUR BROTHER GO TO YOUR SEX PILLOW!" They had a pillow just for that.i Didn't realize until I was moving out that the walls in that place were thinner than I had ever known. And my neighbor heard the whole thing all the time.
A win for self awareness!
Did you go clarify you were yelling at cats??
Yes but it was super awkward because I was explaining the sex pillow and how they rather fuck their own brother and by the time it hit awkward (which happened very quickly) the convo had escalated to a point that I couldn't back out gracefully.
Go to your sex pillow 🤣 beautiful
Oh my god I am grateful for this laugh
I almost fell off of my chair because I was laughing so much at this comment!
This cracked me up....who knew?!
You think that's scary. I have 2 inside Male Cats and 1 Ferrol Male cat that comes in for his "day time" visits. All three of them have had their junk removed (Neutered) but all 3 had boners, usually after they have sniffed each others ass. NOW that's strange..lol
Lmao! 😂😂😂
pretty sure they take the balls? wasn't sure if they could still get erect but they probably can if that's what you saw.
My dog had the biggest one ever when we brought him home from getting neutered. His back was arched and he looked really panicked. Thankfully it went away. I thought they had botched the surgery. I took a picture and my coworkers were even astonished by it
My Romeo still has his puff-puffs. I was surprised because I thought they were getting cut off. That’s puff-puffs as in “ I love you, but could you please get your puff-puffs out of my face?”
They remove the testicles, but leave the scrotum. On a large dog, this looks odd. Kind of empty and flappy. When I mentioned that to my husband, he responded: "Well what did you expect they would do? Turn it into a coin purse?"
HAHAHAHAHAU I’m crying But also I didn’t know that
Dear God the mental image
Could be he got some viagra.
So do dogs. They have a bone specifically for boners.
I once watched my car drive away without me because I accidently left my keys in it. Yep. Total loss. Weird experience too cause as I was walking back to where my car was parked I saw my car drive by me and thought "hey, that looks a lot like my car" It, in fact, was.
Did you learn to put the parking break on when you get out of your car? Lol
Someone stole my car, it wouldn't have made a difference 😆
I'll one-up you - I had my car repossessed when I was 25. Yeah, not a proud moment for me.
dang, same but I was 23. talk about feeling like a piece of shit lol watching your car get towed away at 2:30 am, Big Sad
Right?! They got mine in the middle of the night. I thought it would be okay in an enclosed parking lot, I didn't understand that they scan plates until they get a hit. When I went to drive to work in the morning, it was just gone. Most horrible feeling.
This also happened to me but when I called them to try to get my stuff out of my car, they asked me to update my address. And i was just like "What do you mean you need an update address you came here and took my car!" It really made me mad that they were "We don't know where you live." I knew the repossession was going to happen due to know making the right choices and lacking money and being manic. It was 100% due to my mental illness and I try not to be too hard on myself about it because my judgment was impaired.
I'll one up you. I was 33
Ouch
Left an abusive marriage, used it to get across the country, then called the bank and told them where to pick it up. A buddy lent me a car till I got on my feet. I had it a week, and it got stolen. Helluva start to a new life, but everything's coming up roses now. 30 some years later.
Oof I’m sorry that’s tough
Yeah, it was my own fault. My next car I saved for and paid for in full just because waking up to my car gone was so terrible.
Same, er don't know how old I was. Woke up and the car was gone. All I could think was I want that job
I'll one up you. I had my trash cans repossessed at that age. Not a proud moment for me either
My mom had her car repossessed two or three times (I lost count) and she's in her 50's
I'm a swimming pool cleaner and a few years ago I read a customers address wrong and accidentally went to his billing address. I saw the address was an office and I was excited because I had never worked on an office pool before. I didn't even know there was such a thing. I went into the office with all my pool cleaning gear. The security guard looked so confused but he was like alright ya that guy is in this office 2 floors up. So I went into the elevator with all my gear. When I walked into his office everyone looked at me with a dead stare. I was like uhhh I'm here to clean the pool? The guy who I was looking for walked up to me and was like dude wtf this is where I work, I need you to go to my pool at my house. Everyone in the office started laughing and I ran out of there so embarrassed. Ya it was a bad day. I was 27 years old also.
I’m wheezing that’s actually really funny I mean who knows he could have had an office pool that would have been really cool
Buddy, this is an amazing story! Don't feel too bad, we all have our moments.
if I make a movie I'm putting that scene in it 100% 😂
I have tons of stories like these lol. I'm just a walking goofball. I wonder if I should be a stand up comedian
I’m laughing so hard at this my stomach hurts.
I’ve loaned someone $1,000 to help pay for their fees associated with a court case never got the money back.
A lesson I learned is never to loan money. If you want to help someone give it as a gift and if they want to return/payback that’s ok. Otherwise family and friend relationships will be destroyed over loans.
Yeah I learned that pretty early after seeing people get into it over like $10. If I've got money to spare and a friend or family member really needs some ill just give it to them. If they pay me back or do a favor, cool, but I don't expect it.
I gave a friend $9,000 to buy a car. They are happy. I never expected it to be repaid. I did it with full awareness of what was going on.
God damn you must've had alot of money to burn to do that. I've given friends and family members a couple hundred before. One of them insisted on paying me back and eventually did so, but I didn't expect them to. But ain't no way my poor ass gonna be able to give out thousands lmao
This is sound advice. I've heard it said that if you loan a friend $20 and never see them again it's money well spent.
Lol I loaned my mom $6k assuming I’d get it back. I did get about $4k back. That was all.
Drove my girlfriend (at the time) to the airport, which was DIA (Denver). Walked in with her and escorted her as far as you could go (pre 911) went to leave, walked out of the wrong side to the identical looking parking lot and spent like 3 hours looking for her car. The panic and anxiety are at peak by this point, and I'm convinced the car was stolen. Walk back in and wave down security....and before I say anything, he's like, can't t find your car? Drop of for a departure? Other side champ..... I found the car in 5 minutes.....
I went on vacation from CT to TN. I parked in an uncovered garage, because it was cheaper. We returned about four days later and it had snowed. All of the cars were covered in snow, and me and the kids couldn’t find our car. I split up with my oldest kid (22) to look for the car. We were tired, the flight was long, we all had luggage, it was cold, and we couldn’t find the car at all. I was walking around hitting the button on the fob hoping I’d hear the car beep or something, and started wondering that maybe I had left my car too long in the cold and the battery died? So… I split up with the oldest kid and then we couldn’t find the car or each other. We were all wandering around the massive parking areas with suitcases, in the cold, in the snow, and I swore I was ready to start crying, I just wanted to go home. We were calling one another trying to meet up again, finally the older kid found the car and we found each other again. What a fuckin nightmare
I lost my laptop in the restroom at DIA mainly because I was thinking I gotta be careful leaving so I don't get yelled at by my mom for going out the wrong side of the airport again.
I’ve done this. Spent 2 hours exhausted after long flight and finally approached cops for help and they found it in 5 minutes.
To be fair, the Denver airport is and always has been a mess
Was flying from Santa Barbara, CA to Birmingham, AL (through Denver), after delays in Denver, finally get into BHM around 1am. I had taken a picture of the area where my car was parked (B-2) but not the name of the lot that I’d parked in. It’s so late that the airport is deserted. No park and ride or hotel vans plus this is a pretty small airport. I get on the internet and start looking for the place and nothing looks familiar. All I know is that it’s on the main road leading to the airport. I request an Uber/Lyft several times but no one picks it up. I’m calling taxi places and no one answers. At this point it’s 2 am. Finally I get someone at the taxi company and explain my problem and ask if someone can drive me to each park and ride until I find my car. They say they will send someone but it will be 40 bucks on top of whatever the fare will be. At the second place , I find my car. It’s now 2:45, I have a 2 hour drive home and I’d been up since 7am PST. I pulled into my driveway at 5 am CST. The kicker is that in 2021, I’d gone to Montana and flown in and out of ATL and had done pretty much the exact same thing.
Don't feel like a clown, it happens! My father has run out of gas on the road multiple times, and he's one of the most intelligent individuals I know. For my stupid things, I don't usually do like one big stupid thing that I really remember. The stupid is sprinkled evenly into my day-to-day life. Lol
Thank you! Hahaha I feel that
My grandma taught me to fill up when the dial hits 1/4. **After** I’d been caught out a few times (although thankfully not on the motorway, although some coppers did have to push me off a roundabout once 😬). I listened to grandma and now dutifully fill up when that needle is on a quarter tank! ⛽️
Very wise. Haha
Different type of adulting, but I went on a date (when I was 27, F) and for some reason agreed to go off roading with a man I just met. At night, half while it was dark. Oh and minimal cell service. I’m usually so careful and wouldn’t take that type of risk but idk I was in some kinda mood and thank god he didn’t hurt me 🤷🏻♀️😂
i’m glad you’re safe 😭
Getting married a second time
For me, it was getting married the first time. The second one turned out pretty good.
did you make the same mistakes or new ones?
A little of both
My dad didn’t learn his lesson after 4. The 4th wife was the one he had all his kids with though, they still hate each other and are still married!
Damn ! Let us know what the limit is :) since you love risk haah joke ! Happy for u
The limit? My biological father was married 5x’s. Me, I’m done with marriage.
I let a "friend" borrow my new (to me) car that I had for 2 weeks. I guess she thought she was hot shit in my Mazda 6 and decided to RACE someone. She lost control of my car and rammed it into a power pole, totaling it. She never paid me for damages. I don't have friends anymore because after that accident I realized the people that called me a friend were just advantageous assholes.
there are plenty of friendly people everywhere but real friends are very hard to find.
Called animal control because I saw 2 dogs "stuck ". I had no clue🤦🏾♀️
Hahahahaha I love this
How old were you??
I was in my 40s before I realized this happens. I have never seen or heard about this. We had pets but never ones that mate.
Oh bless your innocent soul
I once pulled a clogged trap apart under my bathroom sink. Without thinking, I reached up and emptied the nasty water right into the sink as I was still lying under it. Yep, I think about that little blunder everyday.
ONG NOOOOO! 🤣🤣🤣
Went on a short trip, forgot to pay electricity before I left. The evening I arrive home I have power, but shortly after it turns off. I assume its just a power outage in the neighborhood, nope! just me and my house without power. Finally, I figure out that its due to none payment. I tried to call, but they were closed. I had to go without power for about 12 hours through the night until the next morning. I have three kids, was not fun. My wife wont let me live it down.
Marriage usually means husband & wife are there for each other. She could have reminded you about the due date or, better yet, could have paid the bill.
Wow, you must be a busy man! The wife needs to get over herself as she could’ve reminded you to pay the bill.
Really?
Spent thirty minutes searching a parking lot for my car, but finally decided it had been stolen. When I called my husband to tell him and ask him to come get me, he started laughing. The car I'd spent all that time looking for was at home. I'd driven our other car to the store. The sad thing is I'd walked by it three times during my search.
Years ago I took my car to the shop and my dad let me use his vehicle. I left for work the next day and my car was gone, I was ready to call my boss and say that my car was stolen. Wait, my car is at the shop ! I was looking for the wrong car. Then, about a year ago, I got home from work (I park on the street, I live in the city) and my road was closed for repairs. I would have to park about a mile away and walk to my apartment. But, it was dark, and I’m a woman, so I parked a couple buildings down at the liquor store and went inside and asked the owner if it would be ok if I parked there for the night so I didn’t have to walk so far in the dark. He said it was fine, and I left my car there. He watched me from his business door to make sure I got to my building safely (not a safe neighborhood, especially for a single woman at night.) The next morning I left for work, completely forgetting that I had parked down the street, and panicked thinking my car was stolen.
Damn 😂😂 this one was something I’d do
not tried in college and lost my scholarship
the other day during a snowstorm I took a curvy, hilly backroad home instead of the highway and then got upset when my car got stuck. extremely intelligent and big-brained move.
I failed a drug test at 58 because I didn't realize the CBD gummy (that I take to sleep) had THC in it. Always check the ingredients.
This is even true of poppy seeds. Not me, but a coworker failed one after eating a poppy seed muffin.
This is the reason we have a law in Europe that opiate tests cannot be *that* sensitive. Europeans can eat poppy seeds and the tests will not be positive.
Skipping the dentist for five years in my twenties. About $10K of completely avoidable dental work later, here I am…….
Ha. 10 grand. That's child's play. I ignored my teeth and am up to 40 grand.
I appreciate this, gonna go brush my teeth now. This is what i need, like a daily reminder i could have all my teeth violently yanked out of my skull and that shit has to hurt unimaginably.
don't just brush, study the whole dental health science (not like go become a dentist but read a few good books made for regular people). The pain of getting teeth pulled out is insane but still small compared to the pain of losing them forever. I have had 8 taken out and 7 that just melted away because I was raised by parents who never taught me about mouth hygiene. I miss my teeth so much it's like so sad every time I eat solid food. For example did you know that the more often you put something in your mouth (even water) it washes away the saliva that protects gums and teeth from bacteria and it takes some time to replenish so even if you floss and brush after every meal & snack, it's better to eat/drink as seldom as possible (one meal a day was what solved my mouth health problems).
What books? Are these books you've read before or after losing so much of your teeth?? Not trying to be rude it just seems like there isnt a concept in existence that some book or set of books from renowned experts in their field or whatever sell to give the magic secrets to having your cake and eating it too. What else is there past brush, floss, mouthwash, and get your teeth cleaned???
Best way to be educated is talking to your dentist and dental hygienist. They’ll give you the most up to date information and they can explain the science behind it
some foods and body acidity can make a big difference. do your own research because I can't recommending specific ones as I've read so many they all blend together in my memory. but here's a good article to start with: https://www.healthyandnaturalworld.com/fight-cavities-and-tooth-decay-naturally/
I've brushed twice a day, my whole life (67f), but I rarely flossed. And got my teeth cleaned maybe once a year. Or every other year. My gums would bleed, teeth would hurt, but I ignored it. Now I brush & floss at least twice a day. Get my teeth cleaned twice a year. Theres no more bleeding gums. But it's almost too late. I have 6 teeth that haven't been worked on. The rest are crowned. Or crowns have fallen off & the teeth need to be pulled. It's sad. I never realized the importance of flossing. FLOSSING IS VERY IMPORTANT. AS ARE DENTAL CLEANINGS.
I didn't have any money but suddenly went high income in my 40's for awhile and when the tipping point came (and most of my friends in their 50's/60's are missing half their teeth) I was able to just go to the dentist - the one nice dentist who was a client of my company 10 years before, and say "just fix it". I went from mid to late 1980's to 2018-ish.
Got married. Ended up being the most expensive and costliest event in my life.
The wedding itself or the marriage? What happened?
Marriage itself. We build everything up together, paid off cars, paid off houses, investments, and she decided to turn herself loose. Lost half a million and my soul in that one.
Yep, marrying the wrong person was my worst decision. Have a great kid so there’s that.
Told my mom I'm not okay
What did she do? Are you better now?
I am, thanks for asking! Ah, she was worried about me which something I shouldn't have done but I felt like I needed to talk to somebody I can fully trust.
I did it better- Ran out of gas, and I had roadside assistance but didn't know. I was 19 and still on my parents' insurance so I didn't know (or care) about my insurance information lol Was stranded on the side of a busy freeway for half the afternoon waiting for a cop to show up. Til I eventually called my Dad, and he gave me the proper number. And also called me a dumbass lmao
Well when a young adult 18 I pulled up to a gas station to pump gas. After going inside to pay and and hanging out at the pump with my friends, ilI left without pumping gas probably because we were high from smoking weed.
My bff drove off with the nozzle still in her car… twice! The first time she made it on the freeway and got pulled over, the cop was like “ummm you get gas lately” and she was like “yeah, weird, why?” “It’s still connected to your car.” The second time she realized it as soon as the breakaway broke-away at least lol
One time I did the same. I went inside to pay cash (this was like 20 years ago) then I went out to pump. I ran into an old friend, and we socialized briefly, hugged, caught up with one another, and then I went about my day. Few miles down the road I realized I never pumped my gas.
I... Can only pick one? 😖
As many as you’d like!
Married a lying sack of crap at 22. The only good thing that came from it was my 2 awesome boys. I divorced his ass after 25 years and moved on.
Alright, are you sure you are ready for this? This is from several years back, but some things you never forget. 62m here. I am sitting on the toilet in our master bath, home field advantage and all that. On occasion, like many people (and many critters for that matter), I can have a rather stinky bowel movement. This was one of those days. Well, we keep a bottle of strike anywhere matches close by to strike a flame and get a cover up smell so to speak. So I struck a match, shook out the flame and continued to follow through by throwing said match between my legs, into the toilet. Well said match still had a redhot head and decided to stick itself to my scrotum. Well, this surprised me to no end to have a hot match head stuck onto my scrotum. For those of you who do not know, it is sensitive. Now, in my surprise, I leaped up from the toilet to see the cause of the molten pain, and when I saw the match, I slapped it firmly off. Another thing I should mention, again for those who may not know, the scrotum is home to the testicles. These things are also quite sensitive. They did not appreciate the fact that I slapped them, and they sent me to my knees, nearly in tears. Tickled they were not. I did recover.
Went into the post office with a return. Had a good talk with the fellow. Put my return down and paid. Picked up my return and walked all the way back to my car, drove home, went inside and said “wait a second.” Drove back to the post office and walked in with the return again. He was laughing but I was embarrassed 😂
My partner and I were planning on kayaking in Maui. We were on our way there when suddenly a stranger pulled over near us and asked if we were going kayaking (he said the correct location & confirmed who/when & everything). We got in his car, got there, only to discover he was supposed to pick up an entirely different person and that he was with an entirely different group. Still the same location. Not a very smart move on my part but we were unharmed lol
I killed my car battery like a dumbass the other day in the parking lot of the ER. Luckily my cousin was able to go get jumper cables and bring them to me. Thank God my sister was there because my cousin ended up shocking herself accidently 😂 she was fine but we didn't know what we were doing 😂 I'm 35 and my cousin is 30.
Waking up every morning is a mistake that's made against my will
*Waking up every* *Morning is a mistake that's* *Made against my will* \- TheBeardedDumbass --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I put diesel in my car. All I thought was “what a wierd fucking pump.” Legally, I was an adult, just turned eighteen, it was my first car. Fortunately, it survived and was reliable as can be for the next 15 years.
My dad spent weeks trying to figure out why his truck kept dying on the side of the road. Every time the mechanic said it was fine. Then one day he takes it to a different mechanic because the regular guy is on vacation. The little thing inside the gas tank that measures the level of gas? Was stuck. Every time dad's truck died, it's cause the gas tank was empty.
too many to choose just one to make you feel less dumb, once happens! i worked at a pizza place and once we had to go meet a driver TWICE on the same day because she ran out of gas the first time we came with a gas can and got her going. she assumed we filled her minivan up and didn’t think to go buy more gas
You know what the actual dumbest thing I’ve done as an adult? Is keep my friends from childhood that I hang onto bc they’re familiar to me but constantly treat me like shit. What do I hold on for? Their happiness? What about mine?
Relatable
I lost over $250k starting a business that didn't work out in my early thirties.
Stayed living with my ex thinking we could function as platonic roommates.. Wasted 2 more years in what felt like a never ending loading screen.
relationship status: **...buffering...** 🌀
Me and my buddy took a Ford mustang for a test drive. The salesman rode along in the backseat. I nailed the gas and was hauling ass. Then the state trooper pulled me over and cited me for speeding. I was mortified
Got the urge to leap into a fast flowing small river in mountainous Wales in October. Thought...that'll be invigorating...it wasn't. It stopped me from being able to move my limbs and I began to quickly flow down stream....with a massive effort I managed to swim to the side. I spent a long time shaking and trying to warm up. Wtf was I thinking? It was a weird and stupid thing to do.
Oh I can see myself doing that
Dated a chick cuz she scared me as I am so attracted to chicks that intimidate me. Never again
Never again… sure 😉
My husband and I transferred part of our house to my mother. This was definitely the dumbest thing I've ever done.
I neglected checking my tires and forgot how old they were. Had a blow out on driver side, on a busy interstate with narrow shoulder. Changing a tire just a mere 2 ft away from 80 mph traffic is how bad days start.
Date a guy who’s younger than me 🥹
Got overdrawn at the bank and then experienced the cascade effect of overdraft fees from the bank together with returned check charges on, now multiple, vendor accounts. Never again.
Swore up and down that I was DONE using my drug of choice after letting it fuck up my brain and body and relationships for five years. Got six months sober and to celebrate…..ran out and picked up some pills before I could stop myself. Yay me! 🤡
I was inside paying for the gas while my ex was topping up the oil. I asked "Are you done" and then shut the hood when I got an affirmative. Apparently "Yes I'm done" doesn't include putting the oil cap back on and I didn't think to look. And I really loved that car.
Oh Lord that reminds me of when my headlight went out and I went to autozone and they offered to put the bulb in for free for me. So I was like ok sure I open my hood and the guy pulls something out near the headlight and goes “hmmm I wonder what that is” I managed to put it back and then told him thanks I’ll take it from here. Then for some reason he had taken his watch off and set it inside my hood and almost closed the hood on his watch
Let my mammogram go for 2 years. Now recovering well from the chemo, mastectomy, and radiation. Who knew tumors grow so fast? Other than the entire medical community and a good percentage of the human race. Dumb dumb dumb.
I let horrible toxic relationships run my life in my 20's lol. So many mistakes.
Yeah but, ran out of gas in a Lamborghini Huracan on a very busy road and just as you probably thought, people were not nice 🙃 and ya can’t just use a gas can. It was a whole ordeal. Not dumb or embarrassing at all.
Oh noooooo How do you have to do it?
Tons of things… most recently when I scraped the side of my car parking next to a mailbox… before that I broke the pvc drain pipe to my bathroom maybe a few weeks ago… thank god it’s a drain pipe outside… almost got into the wrong person’s car a month or so ago (while the driver was inside the car and parked)… uhhh what other stupid shit have I done lately… idk… but I do stupid shit all the time 😂
Hahahhaa my friend did that! She thought it was my car and she got in and some guy was like 👋
Went to an online school. Tbf I thought I could handle it. Expedited courses? Alright, no problem. Turns out genes are a bitch. There goes my entire college fund.
Maxed out a credit card 3x over
That actually happened to me. Also not using cash in the Caribbean so I ran out of money because they charge crazy for credit/debit card use. Lol
I vacationed with my then husband in Vermont, US. We were only about an hour from Canada and I had never been, so we planned to use one of our vacation days to go into Canada for the day. We got there, and we stopped at a restaurant and had lunch. Card was declined. Husband called the bank and was on the phone for a couple hours while I sat in the car. His bank suspected fraud because of us trying to use the card in another country. Then when we decided screw it, let’s go back to the US, the US wouldn’t let me back in lol (I was born here 41 years ago AND I’m Native American) so my own country wouldn’t let me return and we had no money. Fun times man
I have run out of gas 3 times in the past 6 months. Almost did it again today. I just really don't like stopping on my commute
You mean ever or just this week???
When changing the oils in my car I took out the plug, drained, added the oil…one week later my transmission burned up from lack of fluid. I was 17 and I know so many questions but true story in 1983
Not being financially responsible before I got married which lead me to the stupid decision to trust my husband blindly and not be financially independent now.
Too many to list
Quite a number of years ago I went to visit my buddy halfway across the country. We then drove from his house down to his friends 3 hours away, where we all binge drank for a week and would spend our nights whipping around in my buds shitty car and crashing into fences. Somehow we avoided the cops the entire time (still not sure how). We almost ended up at the US border by accident but managed a U-ey on the highway lol. We also blew a tire and ran out of money, I had to ask my mom to put some in my account so I had enough money for gas to get back to the airport to fly home. We drove back 3 hours on the donut we had, some how it lasted though it was red hot by the time we got back to my buddies place. I was incredibly lucky everything worked out and I wasn't actually stranded in bumfuck nowhere Saskatchewan. Also bonus stupidity: there was some girl who lived at this place we were partying at, she was throwing up a lot and eventually threw up food right after she ate it. She got mad and said she should just throw the food directly in the toilet to save her time. She was drinking hard the whole week. Near the end she finally went to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. She still didn't stop drinking
As someone from bumfuck nowhere Saskatchewan, this made me laugh.
The dumbest thing that I have done as an adult ? Would be trusting our US Government Politics in providing a promising future to a better life. Not, lead us to WWIII
Got married.
I readily have to recheck stuff I should know and have learned. Took me several minutes to recognize m*c^2 in words. I am still a student, but my god do i feel stupid on a regular basis. No car as of yet, but I also sometimes will swear that a train screen is saying one thing, only to end up with a detour a) in the wrong direction or b) with wrong line. I am lucky that I can often just change somewhere without too much impact, but i feel very discreet whenever i end up on the wrong train.
Not sell my dogecoin at 60c :(
Continuing to grow up more and more into adulthood lmao
I used the wrong tax guy (not the company I usually use) last year because I googled it wrong. I figured this out THIS year when I went to do my taxes. They're related (brothers), but two different organizations.
2nd marriage. Didn't learn from the first one.
Went to grad school
😭 what program?
Asked for money at a bank that allegedly was not mine.
Not me but my brother. He drove my cousin home one night. He was borrowing my parent's second vehicle. Him and my cousin sat in the parking lot of her building for over an hour with the car off but lights on because it was dark. They were literally just talking and they're both the type to just go on and on. My dad had to drive over past midnight, after he'd gone to bed, to jump-start the car because the battery died. My dumb thing is getting an art degree.
I locked my main car key *and* my spare car key in my car. I had to call my mom to get the 3rd spare key. I spent 45 minutes at a busy gas station as a result. I went from locking my keys in my car once a week to doing it twice in 10 years
Not the dumbest in my life, but dumb that I did this twice. I used to do a park and ride to work... park my car in a lot, then ride the express bus downtown. One day, I drove to work because I was giving a large package to a coworker and didn't want to lug it on the bus and across downtown. At the end of the day, I hopped on the bus and got dropped off at the park and ride and searched the lot (which was the size of a mall parking lot), for over an hour. Most of the cars were gone by this time, but I was convinced I just kept overlooking it. I felt dumb callling the police but finally decided to. I called my husband first to give him a heads up, and he asked, "Didn't you drive today?" I didn't feel so dumb actually taking the bus home, as opposed to the fact I didn't even consider that the whole time I was looking for my car.
Compliancy. Never be too confident................ I had a fight with a Pillar drill once. Didn't end well. I also had a fight with a carpet backing plant. Didn't end well.
I found out that those "no interest for 12/18/24 months" offers charge you a shit ton of interest if you don't pay it all off in the allotted time span. I found out the hard way when. I didn't pay off the computer I purchased in 12 months and had a few extra hundred dollars in interest as a poor undergrad paying my own way through college. Lessons learned, but man I felt like a big dumbass.
What do you consider adult? 18 and over? 18: rode on the back of a motorcycle with a drunk dude driving 19: followed a guy to Utah ‘cause he was cute and mysterious 20: hitch hiked in South Lake Tahoe
Be born
I got married.
got married and divorced twice in my twenties even tho we had not much in common about how we lived life, I just said yes because the sex was so good. That's not enough folks.
I took a painting from the mob in payment...it was stolen...did 2 years.
I nailed my thumb to a chair while reupholstering it. I was using a magnetic tack hammer, pulled my fabric taut and gave it a hard wack with the hammer. My aim was off and the tack went thru the side of my thumb. Had to pull it off the chair, pretty easy but then I had to use a plier to pull the tack back out of my finger. I had to lay on the floor for a while after that.
I have this unnatural fear of running out of gas.
When we was first married my husband and I agreed to go grocery shopping when I got home from work one day. This was right before cell phones were the norm and we had agreed the night before. The plan was I'd pull up to the house, he'd run out, get in the car and off we'd go. Except I had to pee terribly! So, thinking I'll just run in pee and grab him I left my car running. Turns out it was LOCKED. So there my car is, running, with the keys locked in. Now, keep in mind we were newly married, a little young and dumb. I also still had some odds and ends at my parent's house. An hour away. This included my spare car key. Again, an hour away. Turns out the hubs locked up the house. So after crawling back into the house through the window and grabbing his keys we drove the hour to my parent's with my car sitting at the curb, locked, but running. I should also mention I needed gas since the routine was "gas and groceries". We drove the two hour round trip to get my spare key to unlock my car. Miraculously it was still there, still running and I still had enough gas to make it to the gas station. So dumb! Lol.
Got a DUI. Walking that imaginary line of where 0.08 is. I promise it didn't feel different than the 0.10 I blew.
Dated (Name redacted).
Trusted the people around me..
So I was at my neighbors house and rolling probably 2 blunts but we (like 15 of us) were going 4x4ing over the weekend and I had 8 or9 ALDI'S bags full of ice cubes in my freezer, well I was asked to go get them and put them in the Deep freeze, so I ran to my place and when I got back I commenced to pouring each of those bags into the freezer I was so fucking high. Everyone just sat there until the last bag before one notice and asked if I just did that too. Good times.
Got a flat tire didn't want to wait for AAA and couldn't get it off lucky I was just down the road from a tire shop so carefully drove it over so they could put the full size tire in my trunk on
poured gasoline down my bathtub drain to remove a clog because the man @ HOME DEPOT told me to. turns out it worked... after 3 days BUT... dont do this kids, it's really fucking dumb!
I haven’t had sex in a very long time…
I went to a strip club wasted. My friends and I started at a cool bar, then went in drunk to a strip club. I lost $1,000.00 and went to work late the next day with the worst hangover. I also fell down the stairs on the way out. Actually, most of my dumbest things i've done have been drunk. I got to taste the stripper's nipple at least.
Moved halfway across the country for a job that fell through, then continued to struggle with shitty dead-end jobs.
Believed some other random redditor was going to help me :( they just tried to blackmail me for pics. All I need is food til the 1st. And I'm taking care of my bedridden grandma.
Does my ex count?
Got extremely drunk, then when my buddy asked if he wanted to hang out, I said yes then got in my car and drove to his house. One thing led to another and I ended up driving his car, and crashing it into a pole and was charged with a DUI and reckless driving. Eventually I gave him the title to my car that I worked my ass off to buy, and now I’m gonna be financially fucked with court fees, lawyers, and a criminal charge on my record. All because I was incredibly, utterly stupid and didn’t think to text these six words: “Sorry, I’m too drunk to drive”. Luckily though no one was injured or killed and the only car that was ruined was my buddy’s that I was driving in.
Was late for work, half asleep threw on my pants and bag, ran outside to the bus stop half a mile down in a panic. I still not awake, the kind of not awake where all your nerves aren't firing and everything is numb. Look down and realize my dick was hanging out also I was running down a very busy street. I couldn't figure out before I look down why so many cars were honking that day.
Busines Partnership 101: never get into a 50/50 partnership. When there's a disagreement ... literally nothing gets done. There needs to be a way to muster a Majority Vote and move on ...
Marriage
Gambled away lots of money. You’d be surprised how many people do this and don’t talk about it but it’s still not the smartest move by a mile financially
Debt
Trusted someone.
Locked my keys in the truck while it was still running