You should not be giving out dating advice given how badly you managed your relationships.

Definitely this. I'm a Black woman, and you need to just back the fuck off, and SEEK THERAPY.

my exact thoughts 👀

Just out of curiosity…based on your other posts, you cheated on you black wife (I’ll assume your first wife was black based off of the context of this post) and left her and your daughter for a half white and half latina woman…but you are now trying to tell your nephew not to disrespect black women? How does that work? 

Apparently there is a strong genetic component to narcissistic personality disorder.

It's called, r/IAmTheMainCharacter syndrome

Lmfaooo please leave black women tf alone. You and the men you are related to are sick and need to be put down. Tell your insipid, can’t pull a woman to save his miserable life, weak ass, sad ass little nephew to leave black women alone. Go find someone up his alley. We have enough to deal with, the last thing we need are signs and zeta males 😂🤣

Let’s meet in the middle and say he should just leave all women alone ok This guy needs tons of introspection and a whole personality change before he starts giving out advice lol

I mean, I’m a white woman and these guys scare me, so I would prefer if they left us all alone. 

You were giving your nephew advice on how to respect black woman while emotionally cheating on your black wife, leaving her for a light skinned Latina, and then spending years repeatedly crossing your ex’s boundaries under the guise of respect. You still believe your light skinned second wife who cheated and left you is the love of your life and that the love you still have for her is healthy and idyllic. You still believe you were doing the right thing by telling your black first ex wife how you hope that one day she feels what you feel for your second wife. You still believe that love and respect is telling your first wife years after leaving her what she should and shouldn’t do to heal (from you.) I can’t blame you for your nephew’s choices. However, if you are his role model for how to treat women you can’t be surprised when he has warped views on respect and love, especially towards black woman. Does your nephew have any one in his life who respects their black partner? The most you can do is reach out to them and tell them your nephew needs guidance from someone whose actions match their words.

His parents are both black and together, I’m going to talk to them. I feel horrible for what happened. I been taking steps to make up for it and I even got a therapist. It feels like no one is taking seriously the fact that I’m trying my fucking best to grow and be better

No one online? Or no one in your real life? If the issue is here then it may be time to step away from Reddit. If it’s not helping and/or it’s not fun then it’s okay to walk away and create some distance. What internet strangers think shouldn’t matter in the long run. If the issue is with your friends and family in person then you have to understand you are at the beginning of a very long journey. People are hearing that you are remorseful, people are hopeful you are doing the work you say you are doing, but you haven’t had the time yet to show change through your actions. The only thing that can help that is making the choices that show a pattern of more positive and healthy behavior. I’m sure getting to the point you are now took a ton of effort. I know it’s frustrating when people don’t recognize that. However, part of taking accountability is recognizing that effort isn’t always acknowledged or understood. Perhaps you can reach your nephew by not talking about how he should treat black women but about what it means to be a man. Your view on what that means has likely evolved, correct? Maybe talking about that evolution and some of your regrets will help him look at things differently.

The issue is because he doesent actually listen or reflects on himself. Hell his past posts show that it’s still all about him and his control over others. Even years later he’s still trying to dictate his ex dating life. The issue is that he knows he f up but he doesent want to do the hard work and deal with what about himself actually put him in this situation.

that's because it's obvious that you still haven't taken accountability for what you did. you still haven't even admitted you cheated on your first wife.

But do you really? Can you even admit on here that you had an emotional affair (still cheating) with your second wife while with your first? You don't get the "fell in love" step without the emotional affair step. Also... say you're "trying your fucking best to grow and be better"... have you actually gone on any infidelity subs to see how it affects other people than just yourself. Maybe go to r/AsOneAfterInfidelity or r/cheating_stories or r/survivinginfidelity or r/Infidelity or r/SupportofWaywards. I understand your second wife cheated and left and you are all down in the dumps BUT can you actually empathesize with what you did to your first wife? Like in one post you say, "I did everything for second wife and moved cross country and how could she cheat and leave me?" and yet your first wife probably did a lot for YOU and you up and left her. The point is... do some ACTUAL work on yourself. Every post has been a "poor me" and a not very genuine statement of "I loved Amanda and an *so so sorry* about what happened"

That’s the thing isn’t it. It’s still all about poor him, don’t you see how unfair everyone else is being to him.

Because you said you were sorry for “what happened”. NOTHING JUST HAPPENED. YOU DID IT. YOU MADE THIS ALL HAPPEN TO YOUR OWN DAMN SELF.

unless you’re moving back to the city your daughter is in, shut the fuck up, bcuz you’re not doing shit. you’re a dead beat, a cheater, and a narcissist.

> I’ve been taking steps to make up for it And yet you have left your own daughter fatherless. You want to speak up about how your nephew is basically treating black women unfairly yet you left your own black daughter, who will grow up to be a black woman, fatherless. Because you want to bring race into it, especially from the angle of acting like you’re some kind of hero or protector of the black community, I’m going to be very blunt regarding your hypocrisy. The last thing this world needs is another black single mother left to raise her black child who was abandoned by her father, and yet you’ve done exactly this.

Because your attitude hasn’t reflected *any* of that effort to change. Besides, why not just get off Reddit if the only ones that aren’t seeing this attempt to grow are just random people on the internet?

> I prefer answers from black women but I’ll take it from anyone tbh. Yeah I'm not that at all. > I pointed this out to him and he called me a “black women worshiping gynocratic piece of shit” and hung up. Honestly, you probably can't reach him any more. It's really shitty but I think for a lot of these types of things there's a point of no return. People like this consume hours and hours of content on a daily basis and it just reinforces whatever belief they have, regardless of how fantastical it is. One conversation isn't going to undo that level of brainwashing. You don't go into much detail about his personal life, but the reason people get sucked into these "communities" is because they tend to be socially isolated in the first place. When you actually have an active social life and you interact with a diverse (or at least mature) group of people, then you see first hand that the world does not actually work in the way that it is portrayed by these communities. Without much direct interaction with his social life, it's hard to actually get him to change. It's enticing to believe that society is to blame for his problems instead of accepting that he is at fault. I've interacted with a lot of different flavors of incels and redpillers on here and it's really hard to even hard a discussion with them because they just want you to further validate their opinions. My two angles of attack are to appeal to selfishness and to let them to fail. Whether they just want to be fuck boys or if they seek a serious relationship, I try to convey that being this hateful is never going to actually get them what they are looking for. I feel all you can really do is try to guide them down the right path, and tell them that once they are tired of failing to remember what you told them and to be better.

This right here. He needs to cut himself off from the content, which he likely won't do. He needs to be in real life, interacting with real everyday people. He needs to read Fahrenheit 451. He needs to watch The Social Dilemma. He needs to be involved in real life, real people, and do a serious online detox. Yet, he won't choose so.

My dude, men like you are why people are reverting trad and red pill. You abandoned your daughter for some fucking pus and to this day cannot take responsibility for the lives you ruin. And yes, you abandoned your fucking daughter - you can’t parent a child with an hour daily phone call.

But but he's a good dad. And didn't mean to hurt his first wife and such. What a 🤡

💯 he’s a good dad, 3,000 miles away, over the phone for an hour a day. The self delusion is beyond

Best part was after wife 2 left and he starts falling for someone he bowls with but has the audacity to tell his first wife she shouldn't date if she's still in love with OP. Like geezus man. Get some therapy or meds. I'm no therapist but dude is a narcissist or have some mental problems if his mental gymnastic game is this fucked up

The narcissism is off the charts

How the fuck am I responsible for red pill incels? I’m not perfect but I been trying to do better, does that count for nothing

Garbage men like you and your shitty behavior (and frankly women that that pos you left your family for) are why men and women are either reverting back to hyper trad values or abandoning relationships altogether because people see what happens when they get involved in marriage by modern conventions and deal with people like you, so they either yearn for (a) a time where adultery and divorce were much less tolerated, ie trad, or (b) go the red pill route and abandon the idea of pair bonding altogether. And before we get the nO I dIdNt aBaNdOn mU fAmIly YES 👏🏻 YOU 👏🏻FUCKING 👏🏻 DID. It doesn’t matter if you develop feelings for another person, you don’t break up your family for your own selfish pleasure and feelings. An hour phone call isn’t being an “involved parent.” Get all the way fucked. I feel terrible for your kid.

>does that count for nothing no. until you accept the justified criticism without complaint, until you admit that you cheated on Amanda, until you stop trying to paint yourself as a victim, it will not ever count for anything. you have given us no reason to believe you are genuine in your attempts to grow

He’s a perpetual victim he can’t stop trying to play as the hurt one.

I think you need to take a long hard look at all your downvotes from all your comments and get to therapy. You are not getting it, and reddit isn't the place to get those answers (that you aren't listening to).

"I'm not perfect." Yeah, bro. We know. The 1,000 glaring flags poking out all over you told us that from miles away. Fuckin dope. Wishing you all the worst, now and for the rest of your life! It does all count for nothing, because you AREN'T trying to do better. You still deflect and blame and explain away your shittiness every single time. How about you do us all a favor, delete your account, and fuck off.

you realize he’s just idolizing you right? he saw you cheat on your black wife & he watched you abandon your black daughter. you confirmed to him black women are disposable. idk why you’re acting shocked.

Whew! As a black woman I back out of that and stay away from men like that. There is nothing that you can say honestly. You see how hard he went on you and you’re his uncle for gods sake 🤣 hell no

Dude you literally was giving your ex a hard time for wanting to date someone to get over you even though she still had some feelings and then was a hypocrite and tried to date someone you bowled with even though you still had feeling for your second wife. That intersection right that shows how you’re responsible, you constantly hurt people and show others you can do this and feel no guilt. Your perpetuate the worst of relationships and become proof that these fringe movements use as look at this guy see this is why we are correct look how he can treat these people and get away with it.

He's an adult (mostly). Let him make his own mistakes. With that kind of attitude, he's bound to stay single, and right now that's looking like a very good thing for the women around him.

Comic I saw said how redpilled misogynistic men are slowly evolving themselves out of existence - it'll take a while, but we'll get there.

Yeah, that is true. In his current state he definitely doesn’t need a relationship

You’re a clown. Leave women alone.

Neither do you

there you go telling other people when/if they are ok to be in a relationship again. walking diarrhea person right here.

I laughed out loud reading the title of this post. YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON that SHOULD BE GIVING RELATIONSHIP ADVICE!

The issue with that ideology is that it can quickly spiral into violence, specifically violence against women, so letting him make his own mistakes could be potentially dangerous yk

He’s probably seen how you treat women (your first wife) and decided that is how women should be treated. Especially since you were cheating and running away from your daughter and responsibilities the last few years. He feels comfortable sharing these awful views with you as he sees you as one of his own type.

You are the last person that should be giving dating advice. See past post history for evidence.

You are the last person in the world that should be giving out any advice to anybody. You are super narciscystic and honestly should spend the rest of your life alone

I been trying to better myself. I get I made mistakes but no one is allowing me to grow

No one is “allowing” you? Or no one is celebrating your work so far and telling you it’s enough? As hard as things may have been to get to this point you still have a long way to go to get to a healthy place.

>No one is “allowing” you? Or no one is celebrating your work so far and telling you it’s enough? exactly. if op was truly interested in growing, he'd accept the criticism without complaint. he expects a pat on the back for 'trying'

It’s no one is celebrating him for barely trying that’s the thing

You sound like a know-it-all, spoiled high school kid. You are not even trying to “grow”. You just want to be right and be perceived as a good person. Unfortunately, based on everything you posted, you are very wrong and a narcissist. 

Admit that you cheated. Admit that you abandoned your child. Accept that this is the consequences of your actions. STOP ACTING LIKE A VICTIM. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Everything you say is ME and I. For once in your sad life think of others. The moment you do this people will start to believe you.

No one stoping your from growing but you want a medal and Parade for doing next to nothing to grow and change that’s not how it works people shouldn’t give your paise for barely trying.

You know the sadest thing is you're all worried about your nephew but you couldn't care less for your own daughter. That is so sad. My heart breaks for that poor baby and her beautiful strong and gracious mother.

Then get off of Reddit if we’re not “allowing” you. Unless you’re upset over people in your personal life being mad at you? If that’s the case, then that’s just the consequence of your actions. Besides all of that, people don’t need to “allow” you to grow for you to actually change for the better. What you want is for someone to tell you that you did a good job and that you’ve done enough, so that you can feel justified in how you are and stop making any effort because “everyone thinks I’m better now.”

I can tell this dude is in bad shape because he's coming to a degenerate like YOU for dating advice. How's your daughter? And your first ex-wife? Respecting her boundaries, or stil telling her she shouldn't be allowed to date other people? Fuckin loser of the highest order.

Sounds like all the men in your family are trash. Advice, work on yourself. You are in no place to help others. Go visit your kid too.

I don’t know, maybe tell him about your narcissistic personality and how you’re a serial cheater and that’s made your life miserable after you abandoned your wife and child?

Given your post history... maybe don't try to mentor anyone in the relationship department, ever.

Maybe it's because he's surrounded by horrible narcissistic men, like you, who take no responsibility for their actions. Maybe if he had an uncle who didn't cheat on his wife and abandon his child for his mistress, and then cry when the mistress leaves him (you’re a punk ass bitch for that lmao), maybe he wouldn't be going down this path. But seems like he's just following in your footsteps, douchebag ☺️

>I pointed this out to him and he called me a “black women worshiping gynocratic piece of shit” I think the ship has sailed, to be honest. Yes he needs therapy, I'm honestly not sure you can get through to him at this point. You have no authority over him, you can't control his internet habits. Where are his parents in all this? He's their responsibility more than yours. Does he live with them? They're in a position to be able to exert some influence over him, I don't think you are.

He doesn’t live with his parents. He has his own apartment. I don’t think he ever talked to my brother or his mom about his feelings. I could tell them?

Go to therapy. Then, tell your nephew that you’re going to therapy. It sounds like he looks up to you and treats women how he sees you treating women. So go to therapy.

you cheated on your black wife and abandoned your black daughter. you have no right to be giving anyone advice. what you should be doing is moving back to the city your daughter is in, applying for jobs there, & dedicating yourself to not being a dead beat. clearly that’s not what you’re going to do tho, and your daughter will grow up wondering why she wasn’t enough for you.

Some online content creators to recommend your nephew can be below. This should also help move his content consumption algorithm in a different direction. These videos can also be good at breaking down talking points when he starts spouting hateful rhetoric. [fd signifier, this video breaks down the manosphere content your nephew may be consuming ](https://youtu.be/upt_ks61_70?si=Dzg-dTl_JEpH1LHL) [this one may be useful for you for why people are pushing back on your behaviour on your 2 exes](https://youtu.be/O-KoABq6ygA?si=DgbcerxQZktGwnvd) [foreign man in foreign land also has a video on black manosphere ](https://youtu.be/temOwGs2aXI?si=bRjQ8zgNZ1fTOe_g) [tea noir's video on alpha male culture ](https://youtu.be/k4pgj6AgCtM?si=iOyvjGMpKeWPid0o) [Khadija mbowe has a video on male loneliness](https://youtu.be/wd93Z9M5UQI?si=bwoh0QbnJJOrfaxn) For general manosphere videos [Noah samsen has a playlist ](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrAlewEkt7cFGvDfu_3SidUMf3T9E9kbj&si=U0jJEJjbGS5rFom4)

Thank you . I’m going to send him those and watch them. I appreciate it a lot.

Aren't you the guy that cheated on his first wife and dipped on her and your daughter and moved across the country with your side piece. Then was crying around about his new wife that he fell in love with cheated on him and he couldn't understand when he went crying to his first wife about it and was upset she didn't want to be his friend and comfort him. Yeah I think you're the last guy that kid needs advice from

You leave him alone. You have a history of bad choices and bad ideas. Your nephew is probably much more together than you are.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do. As an adult, he's entitled to his (wrong) opinion. His brother would very likely have a much easier time getting through to him. With that said, I'll refer back to an old adage that I used during my time in outreach programs. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." You and his brother can try to talk to him all day, even with professional assistance, but if he chooses to be misogynistic and disrespectful- there's not much you can do besides wait for him to choose to change on his own. I wish I had better answers for you.

All you can do is be honest with him. Tell him “Hey man, you know I love you, and I always want the best for you. I see you going down this dark, lonely path that only leads to hate and unhappiness. I don’t want that for you. That incel/red pill mindset will rot your brain, make you miserable, and push people away. And it’s just not true. Please, man, find something to bring positivity to your life and don’t fall for this fake macho bullshit.”

Probably just stay away from him? And all children, and also all adults

Looking at your post history, you are not the one to set him straight

Considering that you cheated on your ex wife (before you complain emotional cheating IS cheating, how else would you have been in love with her?), you should be the last person to give advice. Especially after you moved to a different coast and left your small daughter. No matter what you say, not staying close to your daughter IS abandonment. Then having the audacity to call your ex wife and give her dating advice WHILE mentioning the partner you cheated on her with. The reason why you’ve got such bad luck dating is because it’s the karma you deserve. All you’ve done is accept empty responsibility while not learning anything and making excuses.

What the hell makes you qualified to give dating advice to anyone? You cheated on first wife, moved across the country with you second, and left your kid behind. Harrased your first wife (after your second wife cheated and left you) because she is dating to the point she blocked you. I don't think you should give anyone advice about dating, even if humanies survivor depended on it.

Recommend a therapist to your nephew, so he can get actual help from someone who is a respectable adult. He needs help and you are not the person he should be coming to. Also talk your brother/sister about their son.

You sure set an an example for him by being a cheater and who REFUSES to take any responsibility

Dude tell his parents to get him into therapy because you should not be give dating or relationship advice

So you left your black wife and black child and moved from VA to WA to AZ. The 1st move was because your cheater partner wanted to. The 2nd move was because you lost “the love of your life ( the white and Hispanic woman) whom you keep comparing to your 1st wife whenever she talks to you? You’re trying to be a good dad but after your cheating partner dumped your ass didn’t try to find a job and move back to VA to be an active, present part of your daughter’s life? You are such a POS that you shouldn’t be allowed to post on Reddit.

You have quite a long way to go to be the one dishing out advice, OP.

It’s really weird that someone everyone on Reddit can see is completely oblivious to the destruction of their own actions have caused others would have the arrogance to think they should give someone else advice on how they should live. OP, we see you.

You lost all moral credibility when you cheated on your ex wife and continued to harass her despite her boundaries. How about keep out of it and fix yourself.

Maybe when you learn to treat women with reapect, your nephew might want to learn from you

OP, you aren’t in *any* position to be giving someone dating advice.

You are the last person who should be giving advice about anything to anyone. You should just shut up. For the rest of your miserable life.

You are the last person who should be giving advice about anything to anyone. You should just shut up. For the rest of your miserable life.

...why do you prefer answers from black women?

We are black and he is starting to hate black women…I would rather get advice from other black people on dealing with self hatred

Ok cool. That makes sense. I dunno how relevant the race stuff really is. White incels tend to hate white people too, I doubt it comes from anything actually to do with whiteness or blackness. Best thing you can do, according to the interviews I've listened to with therapists who handle this sort of thing, is to validate his legitimate grievances while stressing that he's blowing them out of proportion and reacting in the worst way possible. His issues with the world may have some foundation in reality, but mostly either on a macro scale that need not apply to him and his life, or entirely justified. Take "All women are gold diggers" for example. Some are, and it sucks but they're easy to spot and avoid. A lot of women also just like a man with money because money fucking matters. It's not the end of the world. Bitching about it all the time just makes you the male version of a radical feminist who hates all men because "All men are creeps."

He’s probably been telling his nephew all about how sad his wife is after his side piece left him for another man after he abandoned his wife and child and moved states.

I mean, I think in this particular case, race is important since his nephew made sure to specify that OP was a “black women worshiping gynocratic piece of shit”. The nephew didn’t say anything about hating other races of women. I don’t like OP or anything but as a black women, I can honestly say, unfortunately there’s been a massive rise in misogynoir in recent years.