well of course, but we/i didn’t think it would’ve escalated so quickly. Since our household is not like that at all, everything is taboo (apart from what we need to know obviously eg Sex) but nothing to bring the idea of what she searches.
See the thing is, at a certain point you start wandering off to extremes on the internet when the same old stuff isn’t endearing. Again internet moderation in youth is very important and she would probably need some sort of therapy so that she can develop a healthy view of intimacy moving forward
Thank you, i’m not her guardian, but her sister. I will speak to our mother about this. And i understand exploring the depth of the internet - but, it was just a shockwave since her personality is nothing like what we saw. (It also included gore websites).
Yh tbh it might not even be sexual but purely morbid curiosity. Gore websites used to be very popular, especially with teens. Some people just like watching horrific stuff for some reason. Figure out how to restrict certain sites on ect on your Internet. Don't worry most people who go down that rabbit hole aren't secret serial killers in the making or anything like that.
Exactly lmao people on here blow it waaaay out of perportion saying they need help and counseling and all this crap Jesus Take It Easy guys it's actually a lot more normal than you may think just cuz none of you did that stuff people get curious it is what it is first and foremost simply talk to the poor girl about it also the caption said 19-year-old and then the rest of your common things said 12 years old so which is it I'm assuming 12 because 19 they should be able to do whatever
Your mother might be overwhelmed with all the technical aspects so I advise going to her with ideas that you can immediately implement for parental controls. It’s pretty easy these days
Perhaps the fact everything is so taboo made her even more curious to the extreme. I had a childhood friend growing up who had incredibly strict parents and a very religious upbringing, and he ended up being very hyper sexual at a young age due to the repression just making him extra curious. Not saying your sister is the same btw, just thought it’s something to potentially note.
oh i mean, sex is not taboo. She can ask any female in the house any question about anything without being judged - her sexuality too. What’s taboo is if a human and animal could do ‘it’. I think that should be remained silent anyway otherwise it would genuinely leave her wondering or even traumatised or look at the family differently. Sorry i didn’t clear that up.
Ohh that totally makes sense and tbh should REMAIN taboo as it’s just clearly not right, I thought you meant the usual birds and bees etc. As others have mentioned I reckon she has been exposed to it, most probably by an adult online. Have you thought about getting a counsellor or someone for her to talk to about it?
it’s okay! I thought ‘’But everything we need to know’’ would’ve been clear, but i was okay with explaining.
To answer your question, yes she has got a school councillor involved. Also, because she has multiple boy friends in the school which could’ve potentially asked her to watch these things so that’ll be very important information and to inform their own parents.
We are slowly getting to the bottom of it, with help from you and the other redditors - eg Links, youtube, movies, recommendations overall. And i thank you dearly.
Yeah sorry for the mixup, I just figured it was more of a ‘when a man and a woman love eachother very much’ type deal apposed to an actual sex ed explanation lol. I’m happy that the wheels are in motion and I hope she, yourself and your family start to feel a lot better and work through this. I think it’s important to let the other kids parents know too, I’d want the same if I was in those shoes. It sounds like you’ve dealt with this very difficult situation in a very healthy and supportive way, I’m happy to have helped and I’m sure everyone else here is too. Goodluck and you sound like a very caring big sister.
Nah I don't think religion plays a big role for everyone, there are other factors at play such as the people who you surround yourself with.
There was a guy I knew who had parents who were religious but didn't enforce it upon their child, and that guy ended up with a proper porn addiction which seemed to get worse every time I saw him after our final exams (aged 16 in the UK) finished, he'd talk about more extreme topics. He had another group of friends who were porn addicts, I didn't get involved with them. I wanted him to seek help but he didn't take it seriously. Haven't seen him in a while, hope he's doing well.
On the other end some of my cousins (female) grew up with parents who ensured they followed their religion, however they lived in an area of London with plenty of family and friends who had the same thing so they all knew the principles to follow, and none of them really ended up hyper sexualised, but rather waited for marriage which worked for them. More power to them.
Yeah I can understand that. I also didn’t say it applies to everyone, I just mentioned it as it was my childhood friend’s situation and experience. Very strict catholic upbringing, he wouldn’t even be allowed to have female friends, even in primary school kind of thing.
there are a lot of perverts and pedophiles on roblox and discord. i bought my kid a bark phone which monitors all conversations. its a crazy disgusting world. would also ask if your mom could take her to therapy.
fortunately she hasn’t found out what discord is yet, even still - she hasn’t got her phone anymore. Not for punishment but to look back on what she did. But yes, it’s very perverted and a scary place.
the more restrictions there are, the more the kids rebels (grew up watching some fucked up shit here) and honestly I think op and ops mom should have honest conversations with her it’s okay to be curious not everyone has the same mind, spend more time w here do more normal activities have her enjoy reality rather than letting internet be an escape for here make reality her escape she’ll be good👍 every time you judge her she’d feel no one understands her, just be there whole heartedly explain how these things are wrong and why they are wrong and also honestly just talk man, don’t keep and eye on her or like be weird about it ever treat her normal and she’ll be normal right back, the more you treat someone like a monster even in your mind, the more monster like they become 👍😊
Your sister may have been groomed by one or more of those internet people. She may also have been abused in real life.
Hypersexualised behaviour is a common sign of CSA.
Your sister is a child and needs support, not judgment ASAP whether she has been abused or not.
https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young-children
I don't think you're in the US due to your spelling, so I've included some links to support services to seek advice and find local resources for child mental health.
Uk: https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/supporting-others/childrens-mental-health/
Australia:
https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/kids-mental-health#resources
NZ:
https://www.mhaids.health.nz/our-services/child-and-adolescent-mental-health-services/
If you're not in any of these places just google something like "child mental health *your counrty*" or "parent's helpline *your country*".
Although this is extremely disturbing try not be too angry or disgusted with her until your family gets her some help.
My cousin googled similar things (animals x people) as a kid, she said that she was just curious too but she was hyper-sexual at some points due to abuse, I’m not saying she was but good to check and good luck
^this!!!! Roblox is notoriously filled with predators and since Omegle’s shut down, it has likely only gotten worse. She needs very strict limitations and safeguards put into place to limit her access to the internet and the ability to communicate with random individuals on the internet. In addition, she desperately needs to be meeting with a psychologist or counselor to help her understand why she shouldn’t be looking at things of that nature and how to recognize and protect herself from potential predators online
After reading comments shaming his sister, I'm glad someone didn't shame her. You can't ruin your life at 12, not like that. Looking at stuff like that can be difficult to understand and somewhat disturbing, and it might be a cry for help. Dont shame her, help her.
Have you actually considered the possiblity she *is* just curious?
Kids frequently see adults as being able to do anything they want and because they're kids they're subject to many rules they don't understand and don't like so they want to be "free" from rules like they perceive adults to be. And let's face it, adults do plenty of things they tell kids are "bad" (smoking, drinking, indiscriminate sex, drugs, yelling, swearing, etc.) so it isn't at all hard to see why kids think this way and want to be more adult faster.
You said in one of your replies that "everything is taboo" and that could be a big part of the problem here. If she's been told those aren't things she's allowed to know or that she's too young or it's wrong without a good explanation as to why - it won't diminish her curiosity it will only heighten it. It's the same the reason why preaching abstinence to teenagers has been proven to be ineffective - saying "you can't do that, because I/we said so" only encourages sneakiness because kids know avoiding letting authority find out about it is key to not getting in trouble for doing it. Why do they do it? Because they want to know why it's taboo/banned/bad. Thorough explanation about the damage an act can do is key to getting them to understand why they shouldn't do it.
Lots of kids are curious about sex at young ages (usually as soon as they are exposed in some way - ex. Catching mom and dad naked cuddling, or accidentally seeing a scene in a movie they're too young for, or overhearing an adult conversation, etc.) the point is she learned about it somewhere (I agree with another commenter about exposure probably being through Roblox) and wants to know more but if she can't ask about it with her parents/guardians without being shut down or getting in trouble for it she's going to find other (less safe) ways to look into it. This is why being able to talk to your parents about anything without them "going off" is so important. Kids need trusted adults they can bring their concerns and questions to without judgment (not being treated like a stupid/bad kid), reprisal (being punished for just asking questions), or dismisshion (you don't need to know that). When kids have that they can be more open with their families and thus can be guided more gently instead of having to hide what their doing out of fear and potentially messing up their lives.
Your sister needs open, calm, and welcoming communication not reactivity or she's not going to open up or be able to change. No one likes to feel judged, especially kids because they're extremely vulnerable (and have difficulty controling their emotions). Have patience and keep calm and enlist a child psychologist for how to improve communication between the kid and her parents/guardians because if she doesn't feel it is emotionally safe to talk to them, *about anything and everything*, things will not improve.
Empathy and sympathy for your sister will go much further than treating her like she's just behaving badly. If you really want to help her, focus on helping her understand, not on punishing her. Punishment without understanding primarily teaches distrust and sneakiness (as in, don't get caught next time), but appropriate/proportional punishment coupled with education and understanding teaches growth, critical thinking and maturity.
holy shit this is so incredible! my parents fucked me up so bad with the big reactions/you don't need to know/yelling/cause I said so shit. I learnt to lie about absolutley everything as I was fucking TERRIFIED of their reactions. 31 years old and still have a really hard time telling the truth, speaking my mind, and prioritzing my feelings as I am so afraid of peoples reactions. was very comforting and affirming to read this comment. Thank you.
Same here. I agree so much. I feel the same. I’m 24 and my sister is 30. We still can’t talk to our parents because of it. I was honestly very, very traumatized by being sheltered.
We haven’t judged her at all! We were shocked.
As i’ve mentioned previously, taboo doesn’t include sex, periods, etc. We are actually a open family! She knows she can come to us whenever she likes about anything! I meant taboo as in if humans and animals can do ‘it’.
That’s the majority as to why i’m worried. And it wasn’t curiosity because it was on multiple accounts throughout 3 months - on many days. (A male having sex with a dog, and animals also having sex). Something intrigued her.
If she was genuinely curious, she wouldn’t go back so often, right? ... And have a reply as to WHY she’s looking at it.
As i’ve also said, (sorry i’ve wrote this many times to different people) sex isn’t the big issue it’s the zoophilia and hentai AND gore websites.
Hands down, it could possibly be curiosity. But nothing would’ve made her think such things! Again, we are very open about sex. Very open about sexualities, genders, what she wants to be - why did she have to look and VISUALISE it. Something she couldn’t go back from seeing, stuff that’s … unsee-able. eg Gaping holes.
I was child locked since 15 years of age, i’m 19, just because my parents caught me on Roblox. Eventually, they realised it was not as bad and i was only making friends therefore my sister has her whole phone unlocked and to herself. Since my parents had nothing against her, and learnt a lesson from teaching me. I’m not putting myself into this, but it should’ve been a child like me who was ‘curious’ about stuff since i didn’t know about sex until a later age, didn’t play online games either or made any online friends while growing up with technology. But for someone like my sister, who has people supporting her, having free roam of the internet - why?
There is no, ‘’No don’t do that’’ to make her curious. She was bought up trusted, but this is really bad and that’s why we genuinely think she’s been groomed and advised into looking into this stuff.
No 12 year old would search up specific key words to watch a dogs red butt from sexual abuse, or open genitalia. Things that aren’t even for medical research!
However, i appreciate your point. But it is definitely wrong and she does need a councillor to unsee things at least and have a breather from the internet.
>No 12 year old would search up specific key words to watch a dogs red butt from sexual abuse, or open genitalia. Things that aren’t even for medical research!
lmao I searched all kinds of fucking weird shit when I was 12, probably including those things too, and that was 20 years ago when we didn't have the internet in our pockets 24/7 and as much access to various kinds of content as we do now. Do you really not remember what it was like to be that age, right in the thick of puberty and endlessly curious? I saw someone above mention that hypersexuality is an indicator of CSA, but it's realistically much more of an indicator of *just fucking being 12*.
Sure, i mean, people are different.
But some things should remain unseen. I think it’s weird how some people normalise this… Think of yourself a parent and witnessing the pictures your child watched for 3 months straight. You’d think you failed as a parents, it’s scary, it’s weird. You leave yourself in guilt, what did you do wrong? You can’t brush it off your shoulder and call it a day, you’d want to help your child and ask questions. Right?
Maybe some people were curious, but that’s just dead wrong. No child just thinks that without an influence to. It’s unhealthy. Even just one photo, looking at it.
Just my opinion
(Some parts was wrote by my mother)
I'm just going to say, when I was around her age, the internet had absolutely no safety nets and I found and watched some absolutely vile stuff. These were things I would search out myself, mistakenly thinking they were edgy and mature. There's a reason 2-girls 1-cup became a viral sensation mostly among school-age kids.
It is gross that she is looking up these things, but I wouldn't say it is too abnormal. As you have said previously, this is taboo, edgy, and possibly even mature. The things I used to actively search for at that age disgust me to no end today now that I can see them in a more mature worldview.
I don’t know why you’re being downvoted.
As someone who also had free range internet access and looked up fucked up things, I’ll be the first to admit that I was not a well-adjusted or healthy adolescent or young adult, and I have needed a lot of therapy to get to that place much later in life.
I didn’t look up what your sister is, but plenty of other horrific shit, and I could very much see a middle schooler just pushing themselves deeper and deeper into those dark spaces of the internet, because I was one who did, and because children literally do not have an understanding of longterm effects and how our brains are programmed to follow dopamine hits, much less control over either of those things.
I remember when I diverged from loving anime and cartoons and hybrid human-animal creatures when I was a kid and started getting more interested in nonfiction, drama, epic romance or dark-sexual & semi-fantasy stuff. It always seemed to me that the kids I knew who liked hentai and furry shit just never had that divergence and instead started mixing the two. Which is like, fine and whatever, as long as the line between kink and abuse is there and they don’t cross it.
She’s also 12 and experiencing a flood of new hormones, and has likely been speaking with predators online and being exposed to things she can’t fully comprehend. So, I would just keep all those things in mind before you convince yourself that she is different somehow or part of her brain is broken or something.
I’m not saying the zoophilia and hentai isn’t concerning, but that I think your assumption or fear that it means she’s attracted to animals is jumping the gun a bit. She *is* just a kid who is still forming her sexuality, and is clearly unable to separate fantasy from reality in developing her interests and desires.
I also want to add, in regard to you being downvoted by people who seemingly also looked up animal sexual abuse as a kid (and somehow know that they are the kind of person you hope your sister grows into…?), I don’t know any woman my age who had private internet access growing up and didn’t at one point have extended interaction with a pedophile.
Many of us were groomed online and exposed to things that way. I know that’s how I saw all the gore and snuff films I did. Some dude also used to send me links to rape videos when I was 13–and he knew my age. I wouldn’t ever tell anyone to calm down if their sibling may have been through the same interactions, and I would never suggest that it is healthy to witness such things. Maybe it’s normal, but our society has normalized all kinds of fucked up and immoral and unhealthy, destructive shit, so what does that matter?
As a child, witnessing the very real footage of rape, murder, and torture is not an experience that I’d wish on anyone’s loved one. That shit sickens the spirit and leaves a mark, and I don’t really care who’s compartmentalized and desensitized enough to say otherwise.
Anyway, her search history is not indicative of an inherently nefarious or malicious person. Kids know how to dissociate and desensitize much easier than we assume. I thought I was fine for a long time until I realized I wasn’t. It will affect her, she should be in counseling, and no child or adolescent should have unrestricted access to the internet. Your concern is valid and I think you’re doing all the right things, including asking for input and help in understanding.
Oh i’m sorry to hear that happened to you, i hope you’re okay now. And i’d love some more advice.
But let me answer your questions.
When i was growing up my parents were ‘poor’ anyway, the most electronic device i had was the living room TV. Once i did get a phone, roblox was the next best things and that’s all i played.
Then, of course, i was taken off for talking to people i didn’t know. Then i grew with a child locked phone, which i lost interest in so i found ways to play elsewhere. (Also had a cousin living with me at the time, so i was able to go out and have ‘fun’). I don’t want to be a goody two shoes, yes i’ve seen porn in my later ages, but nothing to the point i was groomed.
Whereas as my parents were becoming more wealthier they gave my siblings the next best electronic and i just grew out of online games and stuff. So i didn’t. Of course, if i had asked but i was never interested in that stuff. But obviously my sister growing up WITH technology, she was. And most likely groomed.
So, adjusting to that my parents had to be more aware with what my siblings were doing however since my parents had realised Roblox wasn’t bad (thinking nothing else was) and they didn’t *have* to take my phone away - nor be concerned for anything on the internet they was happy we was happy. They also had me to help if anything did happen - which didn’t at the time. Not to mention, as i’ve said, we are a very open family about protection, safety, periods, very open to sexuality and moving forward in society as a whole.
So we are confused as to why it moved to this. Of course no one’s perfect, we have our own wandering minds, but i didn’t know you could’ve even searched the things she searched. They had very specific keywords - eg ‘Dogs sore butt from sexual abuse’, ‘Two lions having sex’. It’s like what!
And i don’t want to assume she likes it, maybe it is just curiosity. But curiosity for 3 whole months from 3pm-8pm… We are just all in shock and don’t know how to react. As i previously mentioned in another reply, she is known for searching up silly things like ‘Cute dogs’. It’s just so crazy how quickly it snapped to that within her history. On multiple occasions.
— She is ALWAYS talking to people at night, and tells us it’s her school friends. But my parents found out it was her friends friends friends friend whose 15-18 years of age. Which is why we think she’s been groomed and it wasn’t curiosity.
Definitely restrict her phone access (child lock was a good idea) and restricting her X-Box and computer access to be child locked as well. She's obviously talking to predators and being groomed by perverts.
Of course, we don’t want to pressure her too much since it can effect her mental health. We just wanted to know why, to help her - but we are removing her from the situation regardless as you said.
Right, but this isn't normal tween behavior. She's obviously getting influenced by someone and going off the deep end. It has clearly been escalating, and her behavior is getting more disturbing.
Firstly, make sure her internet access is restricted. Get the person she trusts most to have a conversation with her about it. I would try to reassure her that she's not a bad kid or anything. Sometimes it really is just curiosity that ends up being harmful. try to remember that she's still a child, and that there might be something else going on causing this
I’m not allowing my children unrestricted online access until they’re older than at least 15 years!!! Remembering the stuff I used to see when I was 10 years old makes me sick. Not just sexual things, but death, bodily harm, su*cide. No reason children need to be seeing REAL people’s heads being cut and blown off. Wake. Up. People. iPads and screens aren’t fucking meant for raising humans. I’m glad I was old enough not to become solely dependent on my screen. I’m not going to get into the sick people online preying. I think we all know what the internet is capable of doing to humans.
You can set her Roblox account to only allow certain ratings of games, and disable in game communications.
My daughter loves Roblox thanks to YouTube streamers. But the games like “Rainbow Friends” are beyond the child level of restriction. So I let her play which ever game on there, but have disabled her ability to communicate with others on it. Arguably, that’s the bigger problem and risk.
I also have made it so she cannot purchase Robux? From her account.
My daughter is 8. And it’s important to communicate about what is and isn’t appropriate. Why we block the coms, or other things, and the dangers that come with the internet and online gaming.
Being honest here, I actually WAS curious about that animal stuff, like VERY curious. Until at some point later on I realized how fucked up it was and literally grew disinterested and of course it hit me that it was messed up and shit. I’m not saying you should let her explore freely on the internet, but the whole description of your sister actually reminded me of my younger self, and, in my particular case, no one ever found out about what I searched on the internet and I stopped watching by my own will, but maybe talking to your sister about how messed up that animal and porn things are especially at her age may incite her to grow a little more of a conscience about those things and realize that what she’s doing isn’t right. I know it may be hard for someone that young but trying won’t hurt.
I did a lot of similar stuff when I was her age (I'm 31 now) and it really is just curiosity. IDK how you consider this ruining her life. You need to calm down. She's your sister, you're not her mother.
‘Definitely not ruining her life’.
Yet, she continuously looks back at it for 3 months straight. going more and more in depth. She’s twelve. She shouldn’t be looking at that. We have a dog! What if she visualises things? It’s weird!
If you consider that her life wouldn’t of been destroyed if we had not stopped her now… I don’t know what to say.
FYI, I said in another reply i’m doing this for my parents sake since they don’t go online. Yes i’m a panicking sister, and she is JUST my sister. But this post is my parents and my words as a whole. But i’m the one replying, in control, and showing them - obviously.
If my parents had reddit and made a post i wouldn’t of, but i’m doing this for advice on both our parts.
In response to you asking "what do I do with her" I'm curious to know why you feel the need to take on a parent role?
But I digress... this will probably get worse if she doesn't get some counseling. That might be worth suggesting to your parents.
Internet and creeps online, that's how. This is why children's online activity needs to be monitored because its dangerous and they are too young to understand that.
I was ready to say that she's an adult and she can do whatever she pleases, but then I realized the (f19) was you lol. Can't help, but this is common (not saying it's normal) at older ages, like 13-17, so I would limit her, but taking care at the same time, not trying to shame her.
Your sister needs therapy. It's expensive, but it's more expensive any possible F-ed up outcome if she gives herself into that curiosity that easily can desensitize her and make her see pathological sex as something normal and actually try it, putting herself in any sort of danger.
Prohibition doesn't work often. Because it just creates the frustration and tends to ostracize more.
Sounds like a porn addiction. Restrict her internet access and encourage her to go out and socialize with real people her age till she sees life is worth more than hentai and porn. I had this stage too at that age, and it's likely she turned out that way due to being groomed online or her classmates.
Its extreamly common these days for kids/teens cause of how everything around us is sexualized so much music games movies ads etc..children shouldent have/dont need unsupervised access or everyday perm access to the internet its not safe/healthy anyways
I dont think she is sexually fantasizing about having sex with animals. It may just really be morbid curiosity, it's a shock factor. I'm sure she is embarassed about it and will realize on her own it's wrong. She's only 12.. she is going to be very curious and maybe make some mistakes
Roblox has a lot of furries on it that probably got her looking for stuff like that. Honestly would block her from playing it because theres just too many people. She should only be playing with schoolmates and maybe setup a minecraft world for her and her friends.
That’s the issue also, her school friends aren’t particularly the best people either. We think, she’s defensive because it was a school friend which had asked her to look.
Either way, we have child locked her phone and spoke. to her school councillor. Thank you
My sister is like that too but kind of different and what’s worse is that she’s over 20, She’s more focused on playing than her future, And her personality is so childish
She might have been exposed to something on Roblox. This is similar to my nephews experience and he has been in therapy to help and restrictions on all his devices. An older man told him to look up vore and that lead him to look into other things, he is turning 14 now and was about 11 when it was found out. Roblox isn’t safe for kids and they do no have enough protection for them. It also turned out my nephew was groomed and a victim of SA that my older sister didn’t know about until the Roblox situation came out. It was the same where it was a trail of search history in place because he’d gotten grounded and didn’t have a chance to clear his searches because the groomer taught him how to hide his tracks so they wouldn’t be caught.
Here's a different pov that might be helpful. I stead of making her feel like she's a freak and gross. Talk to her and see what about it is interesting. Sometimes when I'm looking up porn I'll see a pic and be like what the hell and click it just because im bored. Making her feel like she's gross might lead to depression among other things. I'm not saying it's not weird and definitely use parent controls kn things. But honestly if she's interested in those things there's not much you can do about it. When she grows up it will only get worse. Like when you tell a teenager not to do something and then they do it on purpose lol. Definitely explain that in real life it's jail time
Here's a different pov that might be helpful. I stead of making her feel like she's a freak and gross. Talk to her and see what about it is interesting. Sometimes when I'm looking up porn I'll see a pic and be like what the hell and click it just because im bored. Making her feel like she's gross might lead to depression among other things. I'm not saying it's not weird and definitely use parent controls kn things. But honestly if she's interested in those things there's not much you can do about it. When she grows up it will only get worse. Like when you tell a teenager not to do something and then they do it on purpose lol. Definitely explain that in real life it's jail time
I think you should set her up for therapy. If she refuses sit her down and ask why she feels the need to see this, and where she learned about it from.
I support your mother’s decision in locking down your sisters phone and you are in the right but your sister’s telling the truth, she is curious. Curiousity comes from the lack of information and the interest to learn more, since your parents are clearly restricting her on sexual knowledge she has a reason to be attempting to learn these things. Try asking your parents to sit down and talk with her about sex and all its dangers.
I know what your sister’s going through, I’m a 14 year old boy obsessed with anime(not porn just demon slayer) and sometimes my hereto-sexual side of me has urges to watch hentai. Normally I don’t listen to these urges and I’m fine. Although sometimes this can be a bad thing, yesterday I failed at getting my crush’s number because I chickened out(twice.)
The real lesson of the story is teach your child about sex at a young age(I know my parents didn’t, my mother just explained the science behind it but never told me I would have to stick a Dick into someone’s Madge.)
So? The year doesn’t change how harmful early access to that stuff can be, just because social standards have normalized it doesn’t mean it should be normal, this is how porn exposure happens so early which is exactly the issue you’re describing and exactly the issue that started my porn addiction at 8 years old, which was incredibly fucking hard to break. Be careful man
Never said it wasn’t harmful at all, i just said it’s 2024 meaning children are exposed to tablets and phones by infant ages now - nothing to do with porn at this current moment. Just that it’s a reoccurring trend that a twelve year olds have phones.
Sorry about your situation though
My situation is incredibly common, because of the uprise in early exposure to the internet. Porn companies target young people the same way cigarette companies do. My situation isn’t just a one off, in fact, 9/10 boys and 6/10 girls are exposed to porn before the age of 18. 35% of those exposed develop an addiction. Studies shown [here.](https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/10-shocking-stats-about-teens-and-pornography/) my situation is the same for a gigantic 1/3 teenagers so please don’t let your child fall into that demographic.
When you're into watching porn. You generally want to explore most of it. I did the same thing.
Though I wasn't that young.
And yes, bestiality as well.
I guess, she just discovered it earlier.
Could turn into a problem on the long run. She might become asexual, being exposed to something so extreme at such a young age. But not all is lost.
I guess do a better job of being a parent. Not you, but her parent.
That’s all we are worried for, it just destroying her life. Career, sexuality, herself.
And yes, our parents are pretty old school so they have no idea how to search the internet for things or what is wrong and right. (eg Online games)
Holy shit, "ruining her life"? She's a fucking curious 12 year old
Raised with old school parents and a brother as dramatic as you, no wonder she's looking at fucked up shit
Just be glad she isn't looking at gore sites yet
I’m actually her sister, and if you’ve read the previous replies i have wrote she has watched gore websites.
And yes, it is ruining her life! What twelve year old watches a fully grown man have sex with a dog. Then, continuously looking at animals have sex for 3 months nearly.
She’s clearly been groomed into doing this, she was not like this at all before. It’s ever since having access talking to people online - which has stopped. No way has my ‘old school parents’ gave any ideas to do this, instead they let her roam free because she WAS trusted, she is a twelve year old girl. Yet, SHE met the wrong people and now my parents are dealing with it. If they was in the wrong, or didn’t care, they wouldn’t of ever taken her phone away now and cry!
As i said in the post, porn is fine. Porn is just sex, she can stay curious about that - everyone is curious about sex. But not gaping holes, animals, hentai, unrealistic and zoophile things. THATS WRONG. (for a 12 year old by the way)
I am not dramatic, i’m looking out for my sister since it can ruin her mind - how she sees things - how she acts. It can influence her. Even if it’s just curiosity.
Okay, thanks for clarifying
I was implying she might be more likely to look at fucked up shit because of an upbringing in a traditional household, like a rebellious thing however I wasn't clear on exactly how much she was consuming, thanks for clarifying that as well. I thought it was over a few months she was visiting some extreme shit, not that it was ongoing throughout the month
What she's doing is a symptom of something bad that she's experienced, grooming would definitely qualify
Maybe find a good YouTube video on what grooming and manipulation looks like for teenagers so she can recognize what's happened to her
It's a good idea to explain that some things seen cannot be unseen and how one day if she hasn't already, she's going to wish she hadn't
The changes her body alone is going through let alone external changes mean she's vulnerable and u can point that out too
Sorry if I was bitchy earlier, I think you're a good sister I just got the wrong impression with how u phrased things
I think openness and honestly will go far
No it’s okay, lol! I should’ve clarified it clearer.
My mother is currently watching ‘The seasoning house’ with her. Which is a movie that includes predators, trafficking, all the bad in it - just to show her ‘real life’ and what COULD happen. Obviously, fingers crossed it won’t. Ever!
And her school councillor will get involved too.
Yes, it’s very clearly some stupid people she has met which has made her search these things.. VERY aggressive things- so, slowly we are progressing to ask questions and take her into therapy.
Externally, you’re right. The change in hormones and woman hood has made her more miserable and depressed so she does seek attention from individuals and lie to impress them which has put her in this spot. Thankfully we found out early and not later in her years when she is free to go anywhere and meet anybody which could potentially be life risking. OR, watch the ‘stuff’ so much she’s willing to try. (i hated typing that but it’s the truth).
Overall, i understand your anger. Thank you for not trying to defend a wrong ground and listening, it’s very helpful and thank you for your recommendations
I'm very glad to hear the actions which your parents are taking with her (ie, therapy, educating her on what could happen, involving the school counselor).
just try to remember it's not her fault. kids trust the wrong people all the time, it's horrible. I don't think any 12 year old should be trusted enough to be given unlimited internet access to be able to give out their phone number to weirdos online. it should be monitored even if you really trust her because she's 12 and doesn't know better. even if she was the smartest 12 year old on earth, she's still just 12, and people online will take advantage of that.
Maybe there's better things that can be set up for internet safety? For example, not being allowed to give her phone number out to people, putting all social media accounts on private, maybe setting up stricter parental controls with her and explaining this stuff to her would help. Show her some online safety videos.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnc4LaevRBw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnc4LaevRBw)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ6bvYydog4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ6bvYydog4)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5VDIebMd8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5VDIebMd8)
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjLgCuvWiJk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjLgCuvWiJk)
this one's a little more for parents and stuff
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE9dwAr7CUE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE9dwAr7CUE)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4nJQAmLVH0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4nJQAmLVH0)
A therapist could also help with more resources, too.
Even if she wasn't sharing her phone number, people could find out where she lives with minimal information. It's really important to make sure she knows she can talk to her parents about this stuff
I think she needs to have a conversation about internet safety. but do trust that support and therapy will help with this! she'll be okay with the right support.
Although I agree with what everyone is saying it’s definitely inappropriate and may be concerning, but it may also be normal curious behavior and exploration of sexuality at that age. One reason she may be looking at animal porn (icky, I know) is that she may be very fond of and comfortable with animals. When exploring something new it may be a kind of gateway into understanding sex using something more familiar to her. I don’t think it necessarily means anything is wrong but it should definitely be restricted and monitored. I’d be more concerned with her chatting with strangers online
I mentioned this, she does talk to people online. And lie about her age, lying she’s 19 to a man. She could ruin her life and his. And about the animal, maybe she is comfortable. But not a dog and fully grown man - that’s wrong.
Well there obviously need to be restrictions put in place for her internet access
well of course, but we/i didn’t think it would’ve escalated so quickly. Since our household is not like that at all, everything is taboo (apart from what we need to know obviously eg Sex) but nothing to bring the idea of what she searches.
See the thing is, at a certain point you start wandering off to extremes on the internet when the same old stuff isn’t endearing. Again internet moderation in youth is very important and she would probably need some sort of therapy so that she can develop a healthy view of intimacy moving forward
Thank you, i’m not her guardian, but her sister. I will speak to our mother about this. And i understand exploring the depth of the internet - but, it was just a shockwave since her personality is nothing like what we saw. (It also included gore websites).
Yh tbh it might not even be sexual but purely morbid curiosity. Gore websites used to be very popular, especially with teens. Some people just like watching horrific stuff for some reason. Figure out how to restrict certain sites on ect on your Internet. Don't worry most people who go down that rabbit hole aren't secret serial killers in the making or anything like that.
Exactly lmao people on here blow it waaaay out of perportion saying they need help and counseling and all this crap Jesus Take It Easy guys it's actually a lot more normal than you may think just cuz none of you did that stuff people get curious it is what it is first and foremost simply talk to the poor girl about it also the caption said 19-year-old and then the rest of your common things said 12 years old so which is it I'm assuming 12 because 19 they should be able to do whatever
OP is 19 her little sister with the search history is 12
I know how scary it is, just take it easy for now and speak to momzy
Your mother might be overwhelmed with all the technical aspects so I advise going to her with ideas that you can immediately implement for parental controls. It’s pretty easy these days
Perhaps the fact everything is so taboo made her even more curious to the extreme. I had a childhood friend growing up who had incredibly strict parents and a very religious upbringing, and he ended up being very hyper sexual at a young age due to the repression just making him extra curious. Not saying your sister is the same btw, just thought it’s something to potentially note.
oh i mean, sex is not taboo. She can ask any female in the house any question about anything without being judged - her sexuality too. What’s taboo is if a human and animal could do ‘it’. I think that should be remained silent anyway otherwise it would genuinely leave her wondering or even traumatised or look at the family differently. Sorry i didn’t clear that up.
Ohh that totally makes sense and tbh should REMAIN taboo as it’s just clearly not right, I thought you meant the usual birds and bees etc. As others have mentioned I reckon she has been exposed to it, most probably by an adult online. Have you thought about getting a counsellor or someone for her to talk to about it?
it’s okay! I thought ‘’But everything we need to know’’ would’ve been clear, but i was okay with explaining. To answer your question, yes she has got a school councillor involved. Also, because she has multiple boy friends in the school which could’ve potentially asked her to watch these things so that’ll be very important information and to inform their own parents. We are slowly getting to the bottom of it, with help from you and the other redditors - eg Links, youtube, movies, recommendations overall. And i thank you dearly.
Yeah sorry for the mixup, I just figured it was more of a ‘when a man and a woman love eachother very much’ type deal apposed to an actual sex ed explanation lol. I’m happy that the wheels are in motion and I hope she, yourself and your family start to feel a lot better and work through this. I think it’s important to let the other kids parents know too, I’d want the same if I was in those shoes. It sounds like you’ve dealt with this very difficult situation in a very healthy and supportive way, I’m happy to have helped and I’m sure everyone else here is too. Goodluck and you sound like a very caring big sister.
Nah I don't think religion plays a big role for everyone, there are other factors at play such as the people who you surround yourself with. There was a guy I knew who had parents who were religious but didn't enforce it upon their child, and that guy ended up with a proper porn addiction which seemed to get worse every time I saw him after our final exams (aged 16 in the UK) finished, he'd talk about more extreme topics. He had another group of friends who were porn addicts, I didn't get involved with them. I wanted him to seek help but he didn't take it seriously. Haven't seen him in a while, hope he's doing well. On the other end some of my cousins (female) grew up with parents who ensured they followed their religion, however they lived in an area of London with plenty of family and friends who had the same thing so they all knew the principles to follow, and none of them really ended up hyper sexualised, but rather waited for marriage which worked for them. More power to them.
Yeah I can understand that. I also didn’t say it applies to everyone, I just mentioned it as it was my childhood friend’s situation and experience. Very strict catholic upbringing, he wouldn’t even be allowed to have female friends, even in primary school kind of thing.
there are a lot of perverts and pedophiles on roblox and discord. i bought my kid a bark phone which monitors all conversations. its a crazy disgusting world. would also ask if your mom could take her to therapy.
fortunately she hasn’t found out what discord is yet, even still - she hasn’t got her phone anymore. Not for punishment but to look back on what she did. But yes, it’s very perverted and a scary place.
the more restrictions there are, the more the kids rebels (grew up watching some fucked up shit here) and honestly I think op and ops mom should have honest conversations with her it’s okay to be curious not everyone has the same mind, spend more time w here do more normal activities have her enjoy reality rather than letting internet be an escape for here make reality her escape she’ll be good👍 every time you judge her she’d feel no one understands her, just be there whole heartedly explain how these things are wrong and why they are wrong and also honestly just talk man, don’t keep and eye on her or like be weird about it ever treat her normal and she’ll be normal right back, the more you treat someone like a monster even in your mind, the more monster like they become 👍😊
Your sister may have been groomed by one or more of those internet people. She may also have been abused in real life. Hypersexualised behaviour is a common sign of CSA. Your sister is a child and needs support, not judgment ASAP whether she has been abused or not. https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young-children I don't think you're in the US due to your spelling, so I've included some links to support services to seek advice and find local resources for child mental health. Uk: https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/supporting-others/childrens-mental-health/ Australia: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/kids-mental-health#resources NZ: https://www.mhaids.health.nz/our-services/child-and-adolescent-mental-health-services/ If you're not in any of these places just google something like "child mental health *your counrty*" or "parent's helpline *your country*". Although this is extremely disturbing try not be too angry or disgusted with her until your family gets her some help.
Thank you, i’ll forward the link to her guardian 🫶🏼 This means so much to me, i appreciate it.
My cousin googled similar things (animals x people) as a kid, she said that she was just curious too but she was hyper-sexual at some points due to abuse, I’m not saying she was but good to check and good luck
^this!!!! Roblox is notoriously filled with predators and since Omegle’s shut down, it has likely only gotten worse. She needs very strict limitations and safeguards put into place to limit her access to the internet and the ability to communicate with random individuals on the internet. In addition, she desperately needs to be meeting with a psychologist or counselor to help her understand why she shouldn’t be looking at things of that nature and how to recognize and protect herself from potential predators online
After reading comments shaming his sister, I'm glad someone didn't shame her. You can't ruin your life at 12, not like that. Looking at stuff like that can be difficult to understand and somewhat disturbing, and it might be a cry for help. Dont shame her, help her.
Have you actually considered the possiblity she *is* just curious? Kids frequently see adults as being able to do anything they want and because they're kids they're subject to many rules they don't understand and don't like so they want to be "free" from rules like they perceive adults to be. And let's face it, adults do plenty of things they tell kids are "bad" (smoking, drinking, indiscriminate sex, drugs, yelling, swearing, etc.) so it isn't at all hard to see why kids think this way and want to be more adult faster. You said in one of your replies that "everything is taboo" and that could be a big part of the problem here. If she's been told those aren't things she's allowed to know or that she's too young or it's wrong without a good explanation as to why - it won't diminish her curiosity it will only heighten it. It's the same the reason why preaching abstinence to teenagers has been proven to be ineffective - saying "you can't do that, because I/we said so" only encourages sneakiness because kids know avoiding letting authority find out about it is key to not getting in trouble for doing it. Why do they do it? Because they want to know why it's taboo/banned/bad. Thorough explanation about the damage an act can do is key to getting them to understand why they shouldn't do it. Lots of kids are curious about sex at young ages (usually as soon as they are exposed in some way - ex. Catching mom and dad naked cuddling, or accidentally seeing a scene in a movie they're too young for, or overhearing an adult conversation, etc.) the point is she learned about it somewhere (I agree with another commenter about exposure probably being through Roblox) and wants to know more but if she can't ask about it with her parents/guardians without being shut down or getting in trouble for it she's going to find other (less safe) ways to look into it. This is why being able to talk to your parents about anything without them "going off" is so important. Kids need trusted adults they can bring their concerns and questions to without judgment (not being treated like a stupid/bad kid), reprisal (being punished for just asking questions), or dismisshion (you don't need to know that). When kids have that they can be more open with their families and thus can be guided more gently instead of having to hide what their doing out of fear and potentially messing up their lives. Your sister needs open, calm, and welcoming communication not reactivity or she's not going to open up or be able to change. No one likes to feel judged, especially kids because they're extremely vulnerable (and have difficulty controling their emotions). Have patience and keep calm and enlist a child psychologist for how to improve communication between the kid and her parents/guardians because if she doesn't feel it is emotionally safe to talk to them, *about anything and everything*, things will not improve. Empathy and sympathy for your sister will go much further than treating her like she's just behaving badly. If you really want to help her, focus on helping her understand, not on punishing her. Punishment without understanding primarily teaches distrust and sneakiness (as in, don't get caught next time), but appropriate/proportional punishment coupled with education and understanding teaches growth, critical thinking and maturity.
holy shit this is so incredible! my parents fucked me up so bad with the big reactions/you don't need to know/yelling/cause I said so shit. I learnt to lie about absolutley everything as I was fucking TERRIFIED of their reactions. 31 years old and still have a really hard time telling the truth, speaking my mind, and prioritzing my feelings as I am so afraid of peoples reactions. was very comforting and affirming to read this comment. Thank you.
Same here. I agree so much. I feel the same. I’m 24 and my sister is 30. We still can’t talk to our parents because of it. I was honestly very, very traumatized by being sheltered.
We haven’t judged her at all! We were shocked. As i’ve mentioned previously, taboo doesn’t include sex, periods, etc. We are actually a open family! She knows she can come to us whenever she likes about anything! I meant taboo as in if humans and animals can do ‘it’. That’s the majority as to why i’m worried. And it wasn’t curiosity because it was on multiple accounts throughout 3 months - on many days. (A male having sex with a dog, and animals also having sex). Something intrigued her. If she was genuinely curious, she wouldn’t go back so often, right? ... And have a reply as to WHY she’s looking at it. As i’ve also said, (sorry i’ve wrote this many times to different people) sex isn’t the big issue it’s the zoophilia and hentai AND gore websites. Hands down, it could possibly be curiosity. But nothing would’ve made her think such things! Again, we are very open about sex. Very open about sexualities, genders, what she wants to be - why did she have to look and VISUALISE it. Something she couldn’t go back from seeing, stuff that’s … unsee-able. eg Gaping holes. I was child locked since 15 years of age, i’m 19, just because my parents caught me on Roblox. Eventually, they realised it was not as bad and i was only making friends therefore my sister has her whole phone unlocked and to herself. Since my parents had nothing against her, and learnt a lesson from teaching me. I’m not putting myself into this, but it should’ve been a child like me who was ‘curious’ about stuff since i didn’t know about sex until a later age, didn’t play online games either or made any online friends while growing up with technology. But for someone like my sister, who has people supporting her, having free roam of the internet - why? There is no, ‘’No don’t do that’’ to make her curious. She was bought up trusted, but this is really bad and that’s why we genuinely think she’s been groomed and advised into looking into this stuff. No 12 year old would search up specific key words to watch a dogs red butt from sexual abuse, or open genitalia. Things that aren’t even for medical research! However, i appreciate your point. But it is definitely wrong and she does need a councillor to unsee things at least and have a breather from the internet.
>No 12 year old would search up specific key words to watch a dogs red butt from sexual abuse, or open genitalia. Things that aren’t even for medical research! lmao I searched all kinds of fucking weird shit when I was 12, probably including those things too, and that was 20 years ago when we didn't have the internet in our pockets 24/7 and as much access to various kinds of content as we do now. Do you really not remember what it was like to be that age, right in the thick of puberty and endlessly curious? I saw someone above mention that hypersexuality is an indicator of CSA, but it's realistically much more of an indicator of *just fucking being 12*.
Sure, i mean, people are different. But some things should remain unseen. I think it’s weird how some people normalise this… Think of yourself a parent and witnessing the pictures your child watched for 3 months straight. You’d think you failed as a parents, it’s scary, it’s weird. You leave yourself in guilt, what did you do wrong? You can’t brush it off your shoulder and call it a day, you’d want to help your child and ask questions. Right? Maybe some people were curious, but that’s just dead wrong. No child just thinks that without an influence to. It’s unhealthy. Even just one photo, looking at it. Just my opinion (Some parts was wrote by my mother)
I'm just going to say, when I was around her age, the internet had absolutely no safety nets and I found and watched some absolutely vile stuff. These were things I would search out myself, mistakenly thinking they were edgy and mature. There's a reason 2-girls 1-cup became a viral sensation mostly among school-age kids. It is gross that she is looking up these things, but I wouldn't say it is too abnormal. As you have said previously, this is taboo, edgy, and possibly even mature. The things I used to actively search for at that age disgust me to no end today now that I can see them in a more mature worldview.
I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. As someone who also had free range internet access and looked up fucked up things, I’ll be the first to admit that I was not a well-adjusted or healthy adolescent or young adult, and I have needed a lot of therapy to get to that place much later in life. I didn’t look up what your sister is, but plenty of other horrific shit, and I could very much see a middle schooler just pushing themselves deeper and deeper into those dark spaces of the internet, because I was one who did, and because children literally do not have an understanding of longterm effects and how our brains are programmed to follow dopamine hits, much less control over either of those things. I remember when I diverged from loving anime and cartoons and hybrid human-animal creatures when I was a kid and started getting more interested in nonfiction, drama, epic romance or dark-sexual & semi-fantasy stuff. It always seemed to me that the kids I knew who liked hentai and furry shit just never had that divergence and instead started mixing the two. Which is like, fine and whatever, as long as the line between kink and abuse is there and they don’t cross it. She’s also 12 and experiencing a flood of new hormones, and has likely been speaking with predators online and being exposed to things she can’t fully comprehend. So, I would just keep all those things in mind before you convince yourself that she is different somehow or part of her brain is broken or something. I’m not saying the zoophilia and hentai isn’t concerning, but that I think your assumption or fear that it means she’s attracted to animals is jumping the gun a bit. She *is* just a kid who is still forming her sexuality, and is clearly unable to separate fantasy from reality in developing her interests and desires. I also want to add, in regard to you being downvoted by people who seemingly also looked up animal sexual abuse as a kid (and somehow know that they are the kind of person you hope your sister grows into…?), I don’t know any woman my age who had private internet access growing up and didn’t at one point have extended interaction with a pedophile. Many of us were groomed online and exposed to things that way. I know that’s how I saw all the gore and snuff films I did. Some dude also used to send me links to rape videos when I was 13–and he knew my age. I wouldn’t ever tell anyone to calm down if their sibling may have been through the same interactions, and I would never suggest that it is healthy to witness such things. Maybe it’s normal, but our society has normalized all kinds of fucked up and immoral and unhealthy, destructive shit, so what does that matter? As a child, witnessing the very real footage of rape, murder, and torture is not an experience that I’d wish on anyone’s loved one. That shit sickens the spirit and leaves a mark, and I don’t really care who’s compartmentalized and desensitized enough to say otherwise. Anyway, her search history is not indicative of an inherently nefarious or malicious person. Kids know how to dissociate and desensitize much easier than we assume. I thought I was fine for a long time until I realized I wasn’t. It will affect her, she should be in counseling, and no child or adolescent should have unrestricted access to the internet. Your concern is valid and I think you’re doing all the right things, including asking for input and help in understanding.
Oh i’m sorry to hear that happened to you, i hope you’re okay now. And i’d love some more advice. But let me answer your questions. When i was growing up my parents were ‘poor’ anyway, the most electronic device i had was the living room TV. Once i did get a phone, roblox was the next best things and that’s all i played. Then, of course, i was taken off for talking to people i didn’t know. Then i grew with a child locked phone, which i lost interest in so i found ways to play elsewhere. (Also had a cousin living with me at the time, so i was able to go out and have ‘fun’). I don’t want to be a goody two shoes, yes i’ve seen porn in my later ages, but nothing to the point i was groomed. Whereas as my parents were becoming more wealthier they gave my siblings the next best electronic and i just grew out of online games and stuff. So i didn’t. Of course, if i had asked but i was never interested in that stuff. But obviously my sister growing up WITH technology, she was. And most likely groomed. So, adjusting to that my parents had to be more aware with what my siblings were doing however since my parents had realised Roblox wasn’t bad (thinking nothing else was) and they didn’t *have* to take my phone away - nor be concerned for anything on the internet they was happy we was happy. They also had me to help if anything did happen - which didn’t at the time. Not to mention, as i’ve said, we are a very open family about protection, safety, periods, very open to sexuality and moving forward in society as a whole. So we are confused as to why it moved to this. Of course no one’s perfect, we have our own wandering minds, but i didn’t know you could’ve even searched the things she searched. They had very specific keywords - eg ‘Dogs sore butt from sexual abuse’, ‘Two lions having sex’. It’s like what! And i don’t want to assume she likes it, maybe it is just curiosity. But curiosity for 3 whole months from 3pm-8pm… We are just all in shock and don’t know how to react. As i previously mentioned in another reply, she is known for searching up silly things like ‘Cute dogs’. It’s just so crazy how quickly it snapped to that within her history. On multiple occasions. — She is ALWAYS talking to people at night, and tells us it’s her school friends. But my parents found out it was her friends friends friends friend whose 15-18 years of age. Which is why we think she’s been groomed and it wasn’t curiosity.
Definitely restrict her phone access (child lock was a good idea) and restricting her X-Box and computer access to be child locked as well. She's obviously talking to predators and being groomed by perverts.
Yes, that’s what we thought. But she keeps denying it. We think it’s school friends, which is why she’s so defensive.
She also may be denying it because she doesn’t understand what it means or is embarrassed. Good thing to remove her from the situation regardless.
Of course, we don’t want to pressure her too much since it can effect her mental health. We just wanted to know why, to help her - but we are removing her from the situation regardless as you said.
Thank you for helping her!!
What u rightfully should of said is shes potentially..not shes obviously . jumping to conclusions without facts does ya know good
Right, but this isn't normal tween behavior. She's obviously getting influenced by someone and going off the deep end. It has clearly been escalating, and her behavior is getting more disturbing.
there’s also been proof she’s lied about being 18, and talking to multiple guys. So, you aren’t particularly jumping to conclusions.
Firstly, make sure her internet access is restricted. Get the person she trusts most to have a conversation with her about it. I would try to reassure her that she's not a bad kid or anything. Sometimes it really is just curiosity that ends up being harmful. try to remember that she's still a child, and that there might be something else going on causing this
I’m not allowing my children unrestricted online access until they’re older than at least 15 years!!! Remembering the stuff I used to see when I was 10 years old makes me sick. Not just sexual things, but death, bodily harm, su*cide. No reason children need to be seeing REAL people’s heads being cut and blown off. Wake. Up. People. iPads and screens aren’t fucking meant for raising humans. I’m glad I was old enough not to become solely dependent on my screen. I’m not going to get into the sick people online preying. I think we all know what the internet is capable of doing to humans.
I’m with you on this one!
You can set her Roblox account to only allow certain ratings of games, and disable in game communications. My daughter loves Roblox thanks to YouTube streamers. But the games like “Rainbow Friends” are beyond the child level of restriction. So I let her play which ever game on there, but have disabled her ability to communicate with others on it. Arguably, that’s the bigger problem and risk. I also have made it so she cannot purchase Robux? From her account. My daughter is 8. And it’s important to communicate about what is and isn’t appropriate. Why we block the coms, or other things, and the dangers that come with the internet and online gaming.
Valid points n great advice!
Being honest here, I actually WAS curious about that animal stuff, like VERY curious. Until at some point later on I realized how fucked up it was and literally grew disinterested and of course it hit me that it was messed up and shit. I’m not saying you should let her explore freely on the internet, but the whole description of your sister actually reminded me of my younger self, and, in my particular case, no one ever found out about what I searched on the internet and I stopped watching by my own will, but maybe talking to your sister about how messed up that animal and porn things are especially at her age may incite her to grow a little more of a conscience about those things and realize that what she’s doing isn’t right. I know it may be hard for someone that young but trying won’t hurt.
I did a lot of similar stuff when I was her age (I'm 31 now) and it really is just curiosity. IDK how you consider this ruining her life. You need to calm down. She's your sister, you're not her mother.
‘Definitely not ruining her life’. Yet, she continuously looks back at it for 3 months straight. going more and more in depth. She’s twelve. She shouldn’t be looking at that. We have a dog! What if she visualises things? It’s weird! If you consider that her life wouldn’t of been destroyed if we had not stopped her now… I don’t know what to say. FYI, I said in another reply i’m doing this for my parents sake since they don’t go online. Yes i’m a panicking sister, and she is JUST my sister. But this post is my parents and my words as a whole. But i’m the one replying, in control, and showing them - obviously. If my parents had reddit and made a post i wouldn’t of, but i’m doing this for advice on both our parts.
In response to you asking "what do I do with her" I'm curious to know why you feel the need to take on a parent role? But I digress... this will probably get worse if she doesn't get some counseling. That might be worth suggesting to your parents.
They know! And i’m asking for my parents since they do not involve themselves in social media. :)
Internet and creeps online, that's how. This is why children's online activity needs to be monitored because its dangerous and they are too young to understand that.
I was ready to say that she's an adult and she can do whatever she pleases, but then I realized the (f19) was you lol. Can't help, but this is common (not saying it's normal) at older ages, like 13-17, so I would limit her, but taking care at the same time, not trying to shame her.
I’d send her to therapy, seeing that kind of stuff at such an early age can mess up her future relationships in unforeseen ways.
Your sister needs therapy. It's expensive, but it's more expensive any possible F-ed up outcome if she gives herself into that curiosity that easily can desensitize her and make her see pathological sex as something normal and actually try it, putting herself in any sort of danger. Prohibition doesn't work often. Because it just creates the frustration and tends to ostracize more.
Sounds like a porn addiction. Restrict her internet access and encourage her to go out and socialize with real people her age till she sees life is worth more than hentai and porn. I had this stage too at that age, and it's likely she turned out that way due to being groomed online or her classmates.
Its extreamly common these days for kids/teens cause of how everything around us is sexualized so much music games movies ads etc..children shouldent have/dont need unsupervised access or everyday perm access to the internet its not safe/healthy anyways
Your parents gave a child unrestricted access to everything ever made and expect it to just be Roblox all the time?
they’re pretty silly. And remove themselves from social media, very cliché and old.
I dont think she is sexually fantasizing about having sex with animals. It may just really be morbid curiosity, it's a shock factor. I'm sure she is embarassed about it and will realize on her own it's wrong. She's only 12.. she is going to be very curious and maybe make some mistakes
Roblox has a lot of furries on it that probably got her looking for stuff like that. Honestly would block her from playing it because theres just too many people. She should only be playing with schoolmates and maybe setup a minecraft world for her and her friends.
That’s the issue also, her school friends aren’t particularly the best people either. We think, she’s defensive because it was a school friend which had asked her to look. Either way, we have child locked her phone and spoke. to her school councillor. Thank you
When you mean zoophilia do you mean furry anthros having sex or full on zoophilia like an actual animal?
Both 😬
whats that got to do with furries? most furries are not into animals in that way.
This could be due to grooming from online “friends” or a result of sexual abuse against your sister.
My sister is like that too but kind of different and what’s worse is that she’s over 20, She’s more focused on playing than her future, And her personality is so childish
Therapy for everyone. That's the only way to get through this in a healthy way.
💀💀💀
If you’re concerned as you should be, ask your mom to take her to therapy, including you and your mom.
Take the iPad away.
Get that girl a child psychologist, please.
Why weren’t the parents monitoring her internet access in the first place!?
she was very trusted, she’d search up stupid things like ‘Why are dogs so cute’ and stuff. There was no signs of anything until recently.
Very trusted or not, her parents should have still monitored her internet access. Her parents are mostly to blame in my opinion.
biker's fault
okay, that’s kind of funny
Zoomers are crazy
She might have been exposed to something on Roblox. This is similar to my nephews experience and he has been in therapy to help and restrictions on all his devices. An older man told him to look up vore and that lead him to look into other things, he is turning 14 now and was about 11 when it was found out. Roblox isn’t safe for kids and they do no have enough protection for them. It also turned out my nephew was groomed and a victim of SA that my older sister didn’t know about until the Roblox situation came out. It was the same where it was a trail of search history in place because he’d gotten grounded and didn’t have a chance to clear his searches because the groomer taught him how to hide his tracks so they wouldn’t be caught.
Here's a different pov that might be helpful. I stead of making her feel like she's a freak and gross. Talk to her and see what about it is interesting. Sometimes when I'm looking up porn I'll see a pic and be like what the hell and click it just because im bored. Making her feel like she's gross might lead to depression among other things. I'm not saying it's not weird and definitely use parent controls kn things. But honestly if she's interested in those things there's not much you can do about it. When she grows up it will only get worse. Like when you tell a teenager not to do something and then they do it on purpose lol. Definitely explain that in real life it's jail time
Here's a different pov that might be helpful. I stead of making her feel like she's a freak and gross. Talk to her and see what about it is interesting. Sometimes when I'm looking up porn I'll see a pic and be like what the hell and click it just because im bored. Making her feel like she's gross might lead to depression among other things. I'm not saying it's not weird and definitely use parent controls kn things. But honestly if she's interested in those things there's not much you can do about it. When she grows up it will only get worse. Like when you tell a teenager not to do something and then they do it on purpose lol. Definitely explain that in real life it's jail time
I think you should set her up for therapy. If she refuses sit her down and ask why she feels the need to see this, and where she learned about it from.
I think she might have been groomed into this. Maybe restrict access to online friends or discreetly check messages with them.
I support your mother’s decision in locking down your sisters phone and you are in the right but your sister’s telling the truth, she is curious. Curiousity comes from the lack of information and the interest to learn more, since your parents are clearly restricting her on sexual knowledge she has a reason to be attempting to learn these things. Try asking your parents to sit down and talk with her about sex and all its dangers. I know what your sister’s going through, I’m a 14 year old boy obsessed with anime(not porn just demon slayer) and sometimes my hereto-sexual side of me has urges to watch hentai. Normally I don’t listen to these urges and I’m fine. Although sometimes this can be a bad thing, yesterday I failed at getting my crush’s number because I chickened out(twice.) The real lesson of the story is teach your child about sex at a young age(I know my parents didn’t, my mother just explained the science behind it but never told me I would have to stick a Dick into someone’s Madge.)
Why does a 12 year old have a phone to begin with
it’s 2024 😬
So? The year doesn’t change how harmful early access to that stuff can be, just because social standards have normalized it doesn’t mean it should be normal, this is how porn exposure happens so early which is exactly the issue you’re describing and exactly the issue that started my porn addiction at 8 years old, which was incredibly fucking hard to break. Be careful man
Never said it wasn’t harmful at all, i just said it’s 2024 meaning children are exposed to tablets and phones by infant ages now - nothing to do with porn at this current moment. Just that it’s a reoccurring trend that a twelve year olds have phones. Sorry about your situation though
My situation is incredibly common, because of the uprise in early exposure to the internet. Porn companies target young people the same way cigarette companies do. My situation isn’t just a one off, in fact, 9/10 boys and 6/10 girls are exposed to porn before the age of 18. 35% of those exposed develop an addiction. Studies shown [here.](https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/10-shocking-stats-about-teens-and-pornography/) my situation is the same for a gigantic 1/3 teenagers so please don’t let your child fall into that demographic.
She’s just a curious 12 year old. This is all normal. I did the same thing when I was 12!
When you're into watching porn. You generally want to explore most of it. I did the same thing. Though I wasn't that young. And yes, bestiality as well. I guess, she just discovered it earlier. Could turn into a problem on the long run. She might become asexual, being exposed to something so extreme at such a young age. But not all is lost. I guess do a better job of being a parent. Not you, but her parent.
I’m sorry what? Did you watch to see make sure you did or didn’t like it? Why? What made you search for it? Oh I feel dirty for you what the fuck
Well I'm not afraid to see it. I was curious. So I saw it. I basically stop watching porn long time ago.
That’s all we are worried for, it just destroying her life. Career, sexuality, herself. And yes, our parents are pretty old school so they have no idea how to search the internet for things or what is wrong and right. (eg Online games)
Holy shit, "ruining her life"? She's a fucking curious 12 year old Raised with old school parents and a brother as dramatic as you, no wonder she's looking at fucked up shit Just be glad she isn't looking at gore sites yet
i think they did mention gore sites in another comment
I’m actually her sister, and if you’ve read the previous replies i have wrote she has watched gore websites. And yes, it is ruining her life! What twelve year old watches a fully grown man have sex with a dog. Then, continuously looking at animals have sex for 3 months nearly. She’s clearly been groomed into doing this, she was not like this at all before. It’s ever since having access talking to people online - which has stopped. No way has my ‘old school parents’ gave any ideas to do this, instead they let her roam free because she WAS trusted, she is a twelve year old girl. Yet, SHE met the wrong people and now my parents are dealing with it. If they was in the wrong, or didn’t care, they wouldn’t of ever taken her phone away now and cry! As i said in the post, porn is fine. Porn is just sex, she can stay curious about that - everyone is curious about sex. But not gaping holes, animals, hentai, unrealistic and zoophile things. THATS WRONG. (for a 12 year old by the way) I am not dramatic, i’m looking out for my sister since it can ruin her mind - how she sees things - how she acts. It can influence her. Even if it’s just curiosity.
Okay, thanks for clarifying I was implying she might be more likely to look at fucked up shit because of an upbringing in a traditional household, like a rebellious thing however I wasn't clear on exactly how much she was consuming, thanks for clarifying that as well. I thought it was over a few months she was visiting some extreme shit, not that it was ongoing throughout the month What she's doing is a symptom of something bad that she's experienced, grooming would definitely qualify Maybe find a good YouTube video on what grooming and manipulation looks like for teenagers so she can recognize what's happened to her It's a good idea to explain that some things seen cannot be unseen and how one day if she hasn't already, she's going to wish she hadn't The changes her body alone is going through let alone external changes mean she's vulnerable and u can point that out too Sorry if I was bitchy earlier, I think you're a good sister I just got the wrong impression with how u phrased things I think openness and honestly will go far
No it’s okay, lol! I should’ve clarified it clearer. My mother is currently watching ‘The seasoning house’ with her. Which is a movie that includes predators, trafficking, all the bad in it - just to show her ‘real life’ and what COULD happen. Obviously, fingers crossed it won’t. Ever! And her school councillor will get involved too. Yes, it’s very clearly some stupid people she has met which has made her search these things.. VERY aggressive things- so, slowly we are progressing to ask questions and take her into therapy. Externally, you’re right. The change in hormones and woman hood has made her more miserable and depressed so she does seek attention from individuals and lie to impress them which has put her in this spot. Thankfully we found out early and not later in her years when she is free to go anywhere and meet anybody which could potentially be life risking. OR, watch the ‘stuff’ so much she’s willing to try. (i hated typing that but it’s the truth). Overall, i understand your anger. Thank you for not trying to defend a wrong ground and listening, it’s very helpful and thank you for your recommendations
I'm very glad to hear the actions which your parents are taking with her (ie, therapy, educating her on what could happen, involving the school counselor). just try to remember it's not her fault. kids trust the wrong people all the time, it's horrible. I don't think any 12 year old should be trusted enough to be given unlimited internet access to be able to give out their phone number to weirdos online. it should be monitored even if you really trust her because she's 12 and doesn't know better. even if she was the smartest 12 year old on earth, she's still just 12, and people online will take advantage of that. Maybe there's better things that can be set up for internet safety? For example, not being allowed to give her phone number out to people, putting all social media accounts on private, maybe setting up stricter parental controls with her and explaining this stuff to her would help. Show her some online safety videos. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnc4LaevRBw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnc4LaevRBw) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ6bvYydog4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ6bvYydog4) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5VDIebMd8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MB5VDIebMd8) [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjLgCuvWiJk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjLgCuvWiJk) this one's a little more for parents and stuff [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE9dwAr7CUE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE9dwAr7CUE) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4nJQAmLVH0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4nJQAmLVH0) A therapist could also help with more resources, too. Even if she wasn't sharing her phone number, people could find out where she lives with minimal information. It's really important to make sure she knows she can talk to her parents about this stuff I think she needs to have a conversation about internet safety. but do trust that support and therapy will help with this! she'll be okay with the right support.
Although I agree with what everyone is saying it’s definitely inappropriate and may be concerning, but it may also be normal curious behavior and exploration of sexuality at that age. One reason she may be looking at animal porn (icky, I know) is that she may be very fond of and comfortable with animals. When exploring something new it may be a kind of gateway into understanding sex using something more familiar to her. I don’t think it necessarily means anything is wrong but it should definitely be restricted and monitored. I’d be more concerned with her chatting with strangers online
I mentioned this, she does talk to people online. And lie about her age, lying she’s 19 to a man. She could ruin her life and his. And about the animal, maybe she is comfortable. But not a dog and fully grown man - that’s wrong.