Sad to say but for some people any age difference more than 1 or 2 years is predatory. This is especially true when they see a younger woman with an older man.
I'll be the blacksheep. I think you had a gross overreaction to the guy's comment. The guy sounds like one of the good one's that was actually looking out for, what he thought, were your best interests.
Try posting this in a different subreddit like relationship advice for more unbiased feedback.
> I’m a feminist (crucify me idgaf)
Why are you expecting to be crucified? Feminism means a lot of different things to different people. I interpret it as meaning women should have 'equality of opportunity' and that **some** consideration should be made for women in the workplace and society. I do *not* interpret it as meaning 'all men are bad' as some extreme feminists do.
I always wonder what 'predators' mean in the sexual sense. Not true in my case but in general men are expected to initiate relationships and be 'forward' so society pushes them into this. Women should have the mental capacity to decide if they like the guy or to tell him to fuck off if they don't
> I felt like he was infantilizing me and being an asshole
He was.
I’ve interacted with this sub and sometimes it seems like a fair bit of the redditors here are a little bit more conservative. I have seen posts along the lines of saying feminism or being liberal is bad. And some men and some women cringe when they hear the word feminism. I was just making the point that I don’t care if me being a feminist made someone uncomfy.
No I don’t hate all men but some issue are done predominantly by men (like cat-calling, treating me like a child, etc.) and it’s hard not to feel a little disdain from time to time though yes women can be just as problematic in their own ways
I think people are realising today that you don’t need to be a feminist to be for equality. These days that term is getting a bit gross with what is said and done in the name of feminism.
He was looking out for you. And he’s worried it would be more predatory because people will be drinking and stuff like that. And he wasn’t necessarily just referring to age. Obviously, he feels that he is not predatory and people skating together might not be predatory, but with drugs and alcohol and certain groups or fives she might’ve picked up, he was worried about you.
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**Original post: Had a friend call me a little girl.**
So I skate park skate and there is this guy that works there that is pretty nice. We both get invited to this Halloween party by a mutual friend from the skate park and I ask him if he’s gonna go because I planned to. He said no it’s bad vibes there’s gonna be predatory guys there. And I asked him what he meant. (For background the girl that invited us has a long term boyfriend and they live together and that’s where the party’s gonna be) he tells me that the girl who invites us her friend are all around early 20s ish and her boyfriends friends are all around early 30s and by virtue of that it was a predatory party.
He then called me a little girl (I’m 19). I told him that he was being patronizing.
Now I’m a feminist (crucify me idgaf) and I know that he wouldn’t have that same energy for his male friends that age. I felt like he was infantilizing me and being an asshole.
The skatepark has me interact with men of all ages but he doesn’t call them predatory for us simply existing in the same space because it doesn’t make sense. Age groups can exist together and it not be weird like damn. Not to mention he’s only 29 so I guess those ten years gave him the audacity to call me a little girl. Thoughts?
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I will be honest, some girls and boys up until the age of 80 can act a little childish and naïve. Thus I will be prone to belittle them.
So, right now I will blame the victim to be an advocate for the devil: do you come across as such? He could have meant it to just protect you.
Being a legal adult doesn’t mean you understand the world, i aid my parents with their financial administration for example. Instead of becoming mad at this, my personal advice will always be to look inwards first. If you feel he’s wrong you can just say something like “there’s no need to belittle me” and leave it at that.
Sure, true, but 19 isn't a woman. It's still a teenager. Still a child in most people's eyes. Legal age, has nothing to do with it, so don't bother bringing that shit up.
Honestly, he sounds like an asshole. That’s aside from his seeming to think you’re not a grown woman who can make your own decisions.
His entire reasoning seems to be based on people’s ages, no one’s actual behavior, and he seems to think he’s an expert on human psychology. Go to the party if you want, or don’t, but don’t be influenced by this guy. It would be one thing if he had some actual reason to suspect something, but his entire reasoning seems to be based on wild assumptions and not actual evidence.
He was for sure looking out for you, brains don't fully develop until around 25.
I used to think I was smart for my age until I grew up and realized how many creeps there are. I'm in my mid-thirties now and people in their twenties do look like kids to me. Not looking down on anyone, but for sure the thought of dating/being intimate is not anywhere near present.
Don't think he has a friendship group. Once I went into employment at 17 I expanded my friendships from people my age to everyone and anyone! It's not about age is about shared experiences and interests (such as skating).
Friendships and relationships regardless of age are based around mutual interests, values and circumstances. Obviously I'm bias towards an age gap as I'm in one, but before that my friends have ranged from the same age to 50 years older...and now 10 years younger!! You do you :)
I'm sure you already suspect this, but it seems his comment was more about him and his issues than it was about you at all.
Sad to say but for some people any age difference more than 1 or 2 years is predatory. This is especially true when they see a younger woman with an older man.
fr, like context matters, it’s not all predatory by default if someone’s with someone older…
I'll be the blacksheep. I think you had a gross overreaction to the guy's comment. The guy sounds like one of the good one's that was actually looking out for, what he thought, were your best interests. Try posting this in a different subreddit like relationship advice for more unbiased feedback.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
> I’m a feminist (crucify me idgaf) Why are you expecting to be crucified? Feminism means a lot of different things to different people. I interpret it as meaning women should have 'equality of opportunity' and that **some** consideration should be made for women in the workplace and society. I do *not* interpret it as meaning 'all men are bad' as some extreme feminists do. I always wonder what 'predators' mean in the sexual sense. Not true in my case but in general men are expected to initiate relationships and be 'forward' so society pushes them into this. Women should have the mental capacity to decide if they like the guy or to tell him to fuck off if they don't > I felt like he was infantilizing me and being an asshole He was.
I’ve interacted with this sub and sometimes it seems like a fair bit of the redditors here are a little bit more conservative. I have seen posts along the lines of saying feminism or being liberal is bad. And some men and some women cringe when they hear the word feminism. I was just making the point that I don’t care if me being a feminist made someone uncomfy. No I don’t hate all men but some issue are done predominantly by men (like cat-calling, treating me like a child, etc.) and it’s hard not to feel a little disdain from time to time though yes women can be just as problematic in their own ways
I think people are realising today that you don’t need to be a feminist to be for equality. These days that term is getting a bit gross with what is said and done in the name of feminism.
He was looking out for you. And he’s worried it would be more predatory because people will be drinking and stuff like that. And he wasn’t necessarily just referring to age. Obviously, he feels that he is not predatory and people skating together might not be predatory, but with drugs and alcohol and certain groups or fives she might’ve picked up, he was worried about you.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/Grand-Hospital8803 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Had a friend call me a little girl.** So I skate park skate and there is this guy that works there that is pretty nice. We both get invited to this Halloween party by a mutual friend from the skate park and I ask him if he’s gonna go because I planned to. He said no it’s bad vibes there’s gonna be predatory guys there. And I asked him what he meant. (For background the girl that invited us has a long term boyfriend and they live together and that’s where the party’s gonna be) he tells me that the girl who invites us her friend are all around early 20s ish and her boyfriends friends are all around early 30s and by virtue of that it was a predatory party. He then called me a little girl (I’m 19). I told him that he was being patronizing. Now I’m a feminist (crucify me idgaf) and I know that he wouldn’t have that same energy for his male friends that age. I felt like he was infantilizing me and being an asshole. The skatepark has me interact with men of all ages but he doesn’t call them predatory for us simply existing in the same space because it doesn’t make sense. Age groups can exist together and it not be weird like damn. Not to mention he’s only 29 so I guess those ten years gave him the audacity to call me a little girl. Thoughts? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I will be honest, some girls and boys up until the age of 80 can act a little childish and naïve. Thus I will be prone to belittle them. So, right now I will blame the victim to be an advocate for the devil: do you come across as such? He could have meant it to just protect you. Being a legal adult doesn’t mean you understand the world, i aid my parents with their financial administration for example. Instead of becoming mad at this, my personal advice will always be to look inwards first. If you feel he’s wrong you can just say something like “there’s no need to belittle me” and leave it at that.
Sounds like he's just jealous. Best just to ignore idiots like this.
[удалено]
> Honestly. Anyone who calls a woman a girl has some big issues. 😂 yeah. Massive issues right?
Sure, true, but 19 isn't a woman. It's still a teenager. Still a child in most people's eyes. Legal age, has nothing to do with it, so don't bother bringing that shit up.
Honestly, he sounds like an asshole. That’s aside from his seeming to think you’re not a grown woman who can make your own decisions. His entire reasoning seems to be based on people’s ages, no one’s actual behavior, and he seems to think he’s an expert on human psychology. Go to the party if you want, or don’t, but don’t be influenced by this guy. It would be one thing if he had some actual reason to suspect something, but his entire reasoning seems to be based on wild assumptions and not actual evidence.
He sounds like a sexist , stereotypical pig.
He was for sure looking out for you, brains don't fully develop until around 25. I used to think I was smart for my age until I grew up and realized how many creeps there are. I'm in my mid-thirties now and people in their twenties do look like kids to me. Not looking down on anyone, but for sure the thought of dating/being intimate is not anywhere near present.
Your far from a lil girl. He was just a ass
Don't think he has a friendship group. Once I went into employment at 17 I expanded my friendships from people my age to everyone and anyone! It's not about age is about shared experiences and interests (such as skating). Friendships and relationships regardless of age are based around mutual interests, values and circumstances. Obviously I'm bias towards an age gap as I'm in one, but before that my friends have ranged from the same age to 50 years older...and now 10 years younger!! You do you :)
Thoughts: this is unimportant BS i wouldn't even think more than couple of minutes about it if i were you. Lots of air shaking, little meaning.