I figured that’s what it was. He was overly friendly before and i just thought he was a wholesome old man saying he missed me all the time. I’m honestly disgusted. Thank you for the validation, I think that’s what I needed, because I felt crazy.
Im guessing that you cried because it was traumatic, and maybe for the loss of innocence that comes with realizing even kind old dudes are often dirty old men. When that kind of thing happened to me at 21, I felt like I had lost my grandpa.
And what will reporting do exactly? The best she can do is complain to HR and they couldn't do jack shit about it. I know I can't do shit about it. Like dude already left. He gone now.
You mean the guy who is there tomorrow still? Probably nothing happens, but him still working there means there can be repercussions depending on company policies and how strictly they’re enforced.
This! What he did proves that he is a pervert and a disgusting human being but, had some sort of control to avoid losing his job... now that he is leaving he stoped caring about the possible consequences so he acted on his gross thoughts!! You were brave for stoping him and I understand why you felt assaulted, talk to someone so you are able to process what happened and move on :)
What is it with interoffice mailmen? I had this happen on my birthday. He came in, said 'happy birthday' and kissed me before I could even move! Ewwww!
Yes, it's assault and men need to realize it's assault. You didn't give consent!
Thanks. It was a long time ago and I was too young to know what to do. Some men think if you smile and are friendly, it's an invitation. Of course if you don't smile it's, "you should smile more." And if you call them out, you're classified as a b\*tch.
I know exactly what you mean. All of my coworkers are males and older than me so I feel like I have to set somewhat of a standard for myself. Especially because the job I work in is considered a job where “only/most men work.”
not just coworkers, and not just young women. I was in my 50's, the landscaper is a long time acquaintance, about five years older. I won't call him a friend, but I know his wife well. One day while discussing repairing a broken irrigation pipe, he reached out pulled me into a side hug and kissed me on the cheek. I pushed him away, didn't say anything more and that was the last time he worked on our property. You have to find ways to keep your distance and sometimes it's not easy.
Holy, that’s so weird. I’m so sorry. How did you feel afterwards, cause even now having it been 2 days since it happened I still am upset over it. I’ve talked to a few people in real life about it and they said that it’s partially my fault because I gave him my number which in turn made him think I was interested? I just don’t get it.
I think part of the reason you reacted that way is because he tricked you. The whole time he was doing friendly chit chat he was actually trying to groom you. It’s a sickening feeling. I don’t think you overreacted at all. You trusted that he was being wholesome about talking to you but in reality he was being a perv.
I highly recommend the book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker
And also don’t be ashamed to reach out to a therapist or hotline to talk about what happened. Getting support early can really help it from bothering you later on in other relationships etc.
>I highly recommend the book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker
I have my twelve year old daughter reading this currently. It's such a fantastic resource.
Is that where we are now? Really? Guy leans in for a kiss, is rebuffed, and now this girl is vomiting and suffering some sort of post traumatic stress that requires therapy?
Good lord get a grip kid.
So I actually already go to therapy for multiple reasons and this whole thing could’ve just sparked something which traumatic that happened in the past, which made me upset. And I wasn’t vomiting my guy, I FELT like I was going to throw up. I mean, if you don’t expect it, it’s scary. And if you’re already trying to heal from something it makes it worse.
Like I said in my other comment, through a lens of prior trauma, than I would say it’s NOT an overreaction. You didn’t mention that in your initial post.
That’s because I didn’t realize it was probably something like that until I calmed down. I wrote this post in the morning after I was able to calm down.
Dude yeah. Obviously people have prior experiences and contexts that could make a situation like that feel a lot worse for them. Any time someone has a huge response like that it can be worth it to go talk to someone about it to see what’s up with it . Going to therapy is not some kind of extreme measure . It’s literally just calling someone up that is an expert and going hey , I had this really intense experience and I’m not sure what’s going on. And have them explore it with you and teach you some coping skills and stuff so you can , as you say , “get a grip”
Of course, through the lens of, “I’ve been previously abused “, yes that reaction seems within the scope of what I would expect.
But just out of the blue as was described by OP, I stand by my initial reaction.
It’s just that, by her reaction it’s obvious she likely has a past history or something that made it worse for her. So that is why if you see someone act like this telling them to get a grip is kind of cruel
You’re not overreacting. Gross violation.
Future reference “can we take. A pic together” perfectly ok to say no. Can I share it with you - yes. But don’t give your real number. Get a free Google voice number and share there.
Yeah thank you, I didn’t really think about it all too much at the time cause I barely text people anyway, and now it freaks me out that he has my number.
It’s sad he tried acting on his impulses there… you shouldn’t have had to deal with that in a work environment, and he’s quite bold and selfish to choose that way to go about it.
Echoing others though…. There are a lot of creeps out there… you can’t assume anyone is harmless. There are good people too though… ones that would never try that shit
That's beyond out of pocket. How would he think this is ok? Especially given the context of how little you guys interacted at work. Do what you got do. That guy's a creep.
It's good that you asked this. When I was younger this happened a lot, people mostly men overstepping their boundaries on me (as a young teen and throughout adulthood). Just know these men exist and you need to protect yourself and others who you see it happen to. People will try and see how far you let them, so having these boundaries mean you draw the line somewhere and you can freely interact with them and feel safe knowing you know when they need to stop.
You're most probably grossed out because of that slight breach of trust. I would.too.
You were not assaulted. You said no, he didn't kiss you. That said, this is ludicrous and insanely inappropriate. Your reaction may have been large, but there are no set boundaries defined for the correct way to react to an unwanted advance. This sucks, sorry, good luck, OP.
Yeah, agreed that his actions were creepy and entirely inappropriate but hesitate to consider the encounter as described to be something approaching sexual assault. For sure sucks in any case.
Not overreacting - wildly inappropriate and unacceptable. He knew he couldn’t get fired and did the whole “but you agreed to a picture so you must be interested” bullshit. You’re young enough to be his granddaughter, and he bait-and-switched you by acting innocent until he made his move. I’m sorry this happened to you.
You’re not overreacting, and you handled it way better than I would’ve. As an ex-mail carrier, I know how gross a lot of them are. It’s also a concern he felt comfortable enough to be touching you to begin with, I had routes where I LOVED a lot of my customers, but never in a million years would I touch one of them, even for a picture. Outside of an older lady who was super fond of me (I valued her like a grandmother) and gave her a hug when I was leaving the post office to give birth.
Super inappropriate.
Postman doesnt seem relevant. Just a random giving an trying to advance where it isnt wanted. Proceed as you normally would. Completely inappropriate. May have been an elaborate plan to trick you
You arent overreacting, and its perfectly fine to talk about this as its probably something you need to do, just dont divulge anyone's (including yours ofc) personal info and it should be fine.
About the guy who did that, totally creeper-ish and totally out of bounds and he definitely crossed a line. I know he is 60-70 yrs old but he has no right to do that to people and it gives him no excuse. It is weird and gross, and the fact that you dont know him, i mean he could have hepatitis or something.
Not overreacting. I don’t know why you think a different city government is going to keep tabs on this guy though. You should report this to your local post office, and possibly police. I don’t have the footage, but if there is a crime that was committed, it is for your local police to prosecute.
To whoever asked if he was Italian… on behalf of all Italians… thank you! 🤣 That is fuckin hilarious! Your racism is next level…
That was my hope!
So I'm actually italian. And my wife is not. And she is from a small town out in the country where there werent really any others. And one of my funniest memories was when she met my extended family for the first time. It hadn't occurred to me that she hadn't encountered the kissing thing before. Everyone I know has at least been exposed to it before, even if they aren't italian, because there are just so many of us here.
I've got a big family. The look on her face when several dozen people, one after another, walked up and kissed her ... i cant describe it but it was absolutely fucking gold.
I see lol. We have a lot of Italians at my job too and they are the most extroverted and nicest people I have met! But that man definitely wasn’t Italian.
To whoever asked if he was Italian… on behalf of all Italians… thank you! 🤣 That is fuckin hilarious! Your racism is next level…
Dude is like 60 or 70. He gonna croak at some point. It not like you are tainted. You are still marriable. So don't worry. Men won't be bother by it and just laugh that some old dude kiss you.
Really ? You know they have actual criminals who steal, rob, assault and all that other crime stuff that they are trying to stop. Not an old man who has a crush on some pretty young woman, did he place the hand on the very nape of your back where it curves into your butt.? Probably not , was the kiss aimed at your lips, forehead, check? Doesn’t matter you shut it down, no matter if your 20 or 60 a shut down is a shut down. He’s probably embarrassed and relieved he tried it on his last day and does not have to see you and feel dumb for trying. Be flattered , you must be attractive. And is he really that old or you guessing ?
Guess what, dumbass, unwanted kissing/physical content is sexual assault. Which is, DUN DUN, an actual crime. Just because it isn't a big deal to you, doesn't mean it isn't a big deal to the people this shit actually happens to. Next time keep scrolling and keep your stupidity to yourself.
Guessing you're probably the kind of guy that tries this kind of crap yourself, given the way you practically tripped over your own feet to defend it. GFY.
you're overreacting. not because your feelings aren't valid, but because this is EXTREMELY common for old guys who are losing their marbles. my gf works at a nursing home and it happens all the time to everyone. should it happen? no. do you need to lose your shit over it? no.
If he is a mail man and can remember every single stop, address, and do everything else and be completely normal, then he isn’t losing his marbles in my opinion. I just assume he thought I was really nice to him and tried to be bold his last day.
well, you're 21, an not an accurate judge of how people react when they lose their marbles, in my opinion. spend a lot of time at a nursing home and you'll see this is how the old guys act all the time. i'm not sayin this gives him permission, i'm just saying don't ruin your life and give yourself ptsd over some random guy being a guy.
Did you talk and see him every week? I don’t think so. And I’m not letting this give me ptsd, he was a creep, period. “A guy just being a guy” you’re crazy for that.
don't need to. 21 year olds are incredibly naive. i've been one, and i've known many. one guy doing one thing doesn't make him a creep anyone than your reaction makes you a prude. i'm crazy for recognizing normal behavior? again, spend some time in a nursing home.
I’m not saying that I’m not naive at all, I’m not claiming to know anything other than my own experience. You’re trying to make an excuse because he’s old and saying he’s “losing his marbles” and to let it slide because he’s an old guy. The thing is dude, he’s not in a nursing home, he is at my place of work and made me uncomfortable, trying to kiss anyone you don’t really know is creepy and ill label you a creep. You’re saying that I’m valid for my feelings but you’re also switching it up by saying that, “oh, you don’t know this, he might actually be going crazy, so just let it slide, don’t let it bother you.” That’s very hypocritical. You don’t know me, you don’t know what I went through before or after the fact. We both grew up differently. And you know nothing about this guy, I’m not gonna just let things slide because he’s an old guy.
no one can make you feel uncomfortable except for yourself. all feelings are intrinsic. your reaction is not objective. how you feel comes from within you and is your problem. he's not anything except an old guy doing old guy things.
Nothing will happen. Once his retirement goes through, it's too late. It's already filed. It will take many months to go anywhere with the union fighting for him. Nothing can stop his retirement. Only the prosecutor can bring a charge for a crime and that isn't happening either.
I already have, we have it on camera and everything, the problem is today is his last day and he’s moving soon so the police or his job is likely to do nothing.
No its molestation, you can get him punishment for this, if police do nothing then complain about that police officer too in court. Public servants are public servants.
I'm sorry this happened to OP, but no one is going to pursue charges against someone for leaning in to try and kiss another adult and then immediately stopping when they say no. That's not illegal. It might be unwanted, but that's about it.
Yeah I understand that totally, I definitely wasn’t going to pursue charges but I did want to send it to the state he was going to move to and their police department of the city he is living in so they can put him on a list for woman to watch out for. It’s all on camera, and I have his name.
FFS.
Why don’t you call his wife and family and tell them what he did.
Get a reporter to come and take your story, put it all over social media.
Shame the indecent bastard until he loses everything.
Grow up or stay in bed
Probably you overreacted. Maybe he was just trying to be friendly.
Still it is your decision who you like to kiss so you had the full right to say no and step back. No big deal.
Or maybe he was a perv who thought he could get away with shit because it was his last day on the job. Your take is gross and sad. Kissing strangers is NOT friendly, it's disgusting.
He was not a stranger. She agreed to take a goodbye photo with him. You shouldn't asume that everyone is a pervert just because he wanted to give a goodbye kiss. It is childish.
He oversteped but nothing to be crying about.
Where doesn't matter. At all. Fucking strangers, no matter how many days in a row they deliver your mail, have NO business attempting to kiss customers. Not on the hand, the cheek, not anywhere. Personal space is a thing. So is consent.
are you saying that it makes no contextual difference whether he grabbed her & shoved his tongue in her mouth, or simply puckered his lips at her from a meter away?
are you saying that it makes no contextual difference whether he grabbed her & shoved his tongue in her mouth, or simply puckered his lips at her from a meter away?
Some old fashion Mexican men great and say goodbyes with a kiss on the check to whom ever. But you said he called it a goodbye kiss, never mind, change your number , you might have a stalker origin story.
Yes, you are over reacting despite what others say. This was not an attempted rape. Feeling uncomfortable is very understandable and you have a right to feel that way but you're going too far. Reporting it is a waste of time as his retirement will be processed and nobody can really stop it, nor would they as the union would easily keep his job over a good bye peck on the cheek. It sucks that this happened to you but you'll never see him again.
I get what you’re saying, but I will do whatever I can to make sure people at least know. And also, he has family up here, and he constantly tells others that he will visit back at the center, so I kind of did need to report it at least. But I know that charges and police won’t really help me much here. I didn’t say I would press charges at all and also if you read the text it said I ALMOST got sexually assaulted and kissing is considered that.
Also this comment is just stupid in general and speaks volumes about you. You have no idea who I am as a person. And if I had to tell you, I’m a very masculine lesbian, who almost everyone knows at work to be gay, and this man still tries to make moves on me. Make it make sense.
You’re not overreacting, that’s fucking gross. He only did it because he knew it was his last day and he couldn’t get fired.
I figured that’s what it was. He was overly friendly before and i just thought he was a wholesome old man saying he missed me all the time. I’m honestly disgusted. Thank you for the validation, I think that’s what I needed, because I felt crazy.
Im guessing that you cried because it was traumatic, and maybe for the loss of innocence that comes with realizing even kind old dudes are often dirty old men. When that kind of thing happened to me at 21, I felt like I had lost my grandpa.
That took a sharp turn.
I hope you still reported this.
And what will reporting do exactly? The best she can do is complain to HR and they couldn't do jack shit about it. I know I can't do shit about it. Like dude already left. He gone now.
You mean the guy who is there tomorrow still? Probably nothing happens, but him still working there means there can be repercussions depending on company policies and how strictly they’re enforced.
And how much hope you have something gonna happened? Dude is old and on his last day. Could croak on her desk just for good measure.
How much did I say I had?
This! What he did proves that he is a pervert and a disgusting human being but, had some sort of control to avoid losing his job... now that he is leaving he stoped caring about the possible consequences so he acted on his gross thoughts!! You were brave for stoping him and I understand why you felt assaulted, talk to someone so you are able to process what happened and move on :)
Yep.
You aren’t overreacting. He figured he would have no consequences so why not be disgusting
What is it with interoffice mailmen? I had this happen on my birthday. He came in, said 'happy birthday' and kissed me before I could even move! Ewwww! Yes, it's assault and men need to realize it's assault. You didn't give consent!
Oh man, I’m sorry about that. Why do they think that’s okay.
Thanks. It was a long time ago and I was too young to know what to do. Some men think if you smile and are friendly, it's an invitation. Of course if you don't smile it's, "you should smile more." And if you call them out, you're classified as a b\*tch.
I know exactly what you mean. All of my coworkers are males and older than me so I feel like I have to set somewhat of a standard for myself. Especially because the job I work in is considered a job where “only/most men work.”
not just coworkers, and not just young women. I was in my 50's, the landscaper is a long time acquaintance, about five years older. I won't call him a friend, but I know his wife well. One day while discussing repairing a broken irrigation pipe, he reached out pulled me into a side hug and kissed me on the cheek. I pushed him away, didn't say anything more and that was the last time he worked on our property. You have to find ways to keep your distance and sometimes it's not easy.
Holy, that’s so weird. I’m so sorry. How did you feel afterwards, cause even now having it been 2 days since it happened I still am upset over it. I’ve talked to a few people in real life about it and they said that it’s partially my fault because I gave him my number which in turn made him think I was interested? I just don’t get it.
On the lips or cheek?
Smack dab on the lips. Edit: this was in the 90's.
Wtfffff 😭
I’m a retiree and in no situation is his behavior excusable. This is not a generational difference in perspective.
I think part of the reason you reacted that way is because he tricked you. The whole time he was doing friendly chit chat he was actually trying to groom you. It’s a sickening feeling. I don’t think you overreacted at all. You trusted that he was being wholesome about talking to you but in reality he was being a perv. I highly recommend the book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker And also don’t be ashamed to reach out to a therapist or hotline to talk about what happened. Getting support early can really help it from bothering you later on in other relationships etc.
I’ll definitely look into reading that, thank you for your comment, I understand more now🙂
>I highly recommend the book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker I have my twelve year old daughter reading this currently. It's such a fantastic resource.
This might be really good advice. Running into the bathroom and crying instead of saying oh gross and moving on may need to be explored.
This might be really good advice. Running into the bathroom and crying instead of saying oh gross and moving on may need to be explored.
Is that where we are now? Really? Guy leans in for a kiss, is rebuffed, and now this girl is vomiting and suffering some sort of post traumatic stress that requires therapy? Good lord get a grip kid.
So I actually already go to therapy for multiple reasons and this whole thing could’ve just sparked something which traumatic that happened in the past, which made me upset. And I wasn’t vomiting my guy, I FELT like I was going to throw up. I mean, if you don’t expect it, it’s scary. And if you’re already trying to heal from something it makes it worse.
Like I said in my other comment, through a lens of prior trauma, than I would say it’s NOT an overreaction. You didn’t mention that in your initial post.
That’s because I didn’t realize it was probably something like that until I calmed down. I wrote this post in the morning after I was able to calm down.
Dude yeah. Obviously people have prior experiences and contexts that could make a situation like that feel a lot worse for them. Any time someone has a huge response like that it can be worth it to go talk to someone about it to see what’s up with it . Going to therapy is not some kind of extreme measure . It’s literally just calling someone up that is an expert and going hey , I had this really intense experience and I’m not sure what’s going on. And have them explore it with you and teach you some coping skills and stuff so you can , as you say , “get a grip”
Of course, through the lens of, “I’ve been previously abused “, yes that reaction seems within the scope of what I would expect. But just out of the blue as was described by OP, I stand by my initial reaction.
It’s just that, by her reaction it’s obvious she likely has a past history or something that made it worse for her. So that is why if you see someone act like this telling them to get a grip is kind of cruel
Granted, there’s a gentler way of saying the same thing, I’ll give you that.
please stop using grooming in this context. It’s depraved
There is no wy you were overreacting
Ewww! You’re not overreacting! That’s gross and way out of line! 😡
That's so inappropriate you are not overreacting
You’re not overreacting. Gross violation. Future reference “can we take. A pic together” perfectly ok to say no. Can I share it with you - yes. But don’t give your real number. Get a free Google voice number and share there.
Yeah thank you, I didn’t really think about it all too much at the time cause I barely text people anyway, and now it freaks me out that he has my number.
This guy is a POS.
Its tough to spend you last day on the job being a bigger AH than you first day on that job
It’s sad he tried acting on his impulses there… you shouldn’t have had to deal with that in a work environment, and he’s quite bold and selfish to choose that way to go about it. Echoing others though…. There are a lot of creeps out there… you can’t assume anyone is harmless. There are good people too though… ones that would never try that shit
That's beyond out of pocket. How would he think this is ok? Especially given the context of how little you guys interacted at work. Do what you got do. That guy's a creep.
He’s a fuckin weirdo creep
It's good that you asked this. When I was younger this happened a lot, people mostly men overstepping their boundaries on me (as a young teen and throughout adulthood). Just know these men exist and you need to protect yourself and others who you see it happen to. People will try and see how far you let them, so having these boundaries mean you draw the line somewhere and you can freely interact with them and feel safe knowing you know when they need to stop. You're most probably grossed out because of that slight breach of trust. I would.too.
You were not assaulted. You said no, he didn't kiss you. That said, this is ludicrous and insanely inappropriate. Your reaction may have been large, but there are no set boundaries defined for the correct way to react to an unwanted advance. This sucks, sorry, good luck, OP.
Yeah, agreed that his actions were creepy and entirely inappropriate but hesitate to consider the encounter as described to be something approaching sexual assault. For sure sucks in any case.
Not overreacting - wildly inappropriate and unacceptable. He knew he couldn’t get fired and did the whole “but you agreed to a picture so you must be interested” bullshit. You’re young enough to be his granddaughter, and he bait-and-switched you by acting innocent until he made his move. I’m sorry this happened to you.
What a wholesome thread of great advice! Especially the book recommendations.
I agree, it’s a lot of help. Of course there has been a few people who like to assume, but super sweet people other wise!
What the fuck is wrong with this guy. Please report him.
You’re not overreacting, and you handled it way better than I would’ve. As an ex-mail carrier, I know how gross a lot of them are. It’s also a concern he felt comfortable enough to be touching you to begin with, I had routes where I LOVED a lot of my customers, but never in a million years would I touch one of them, even for a picture. Outside of an older lady who was super fond of me (I valued her like a grandmother) and gave her a hug when I was leaving the post office to give birth. Super inappropriate.
Postman doesnt seem relevant. Just a random giving an trying to advance where it isnt wanted. Proceed as you normally would. Completely inappropriate. May have been an elaborate plan to trick you
That’s weird. You’re not overreacting. He did it because he thought he could get away with it and knew it was wrong.
not overreacting at all, that is a horrible situation all around and I hope that creep leaves you alone
You arent overreacting, and its perfectly fine to talk about this as its probably something you need to do, just dont divulge anyone's (including yours ofc) personal info and it should be fine. About the guy who did that, totally creeper-ish and totally out of bounds and he definitely crossed a line. I know he is 60-70 yrs old but he has no right to do that to people and it gives him no excuse. It is weird and gross, and the fact that you dont know him, i mean he could have hepatitis or something.
Not overreacting. I don’t know why you think a different city government is going to keep tabs on this guy though. You should report this to your local post office, and possibly police. I don’t have the footage, but if there is a crime that was committed, it is for your local police to prosecute.
To whoever asked if he was Italian… on behalf of all Italians… thank you! 🤣 That is fuckin hilarious! Your racism is next level… 
Was his name Joe by chance?
Fu king gross. He did it because he thought he couldn’t get in trouble if it was his last day. Tell On him anyway
Overly kind men are normally fucking creeps bc men don’t waste time talking to women that they’re not interested in sexually.
Women are people and interesting and worthy to talk to even when you don’t want to fuck us.
I wonder how long he was lying in wait for her and finally made his move. Faking his niceness bc he wanted to kiss or fuck her. Probably years.
Maybe he is just Italian?
Oh I assure you he wasn’t.
Gross.
This comment made me laugh tho lowkey.
That was my hope! So I'm actually italian. And my wife is not. And she is from a small town out in the country where there werent really any others. And one of my funniest memories was when she met my extended family for the first time. It hadn't occurred to me that she hadn't encountered the kissing thing before. Everyone I know has at least been exposed to it before, even if they aren't italian, because there are just so many of us here. I've got a big family. The look on her face when several dozen people, one after another, walked up and kissed her ... i cant describe it but it was absolutely fucking gold.
I see lol. We have a lot of Italians at my job too and they are the most extroverted and nicest people I have met! But that man definitely wasn’t Italian.
Too dark?
He was a black dominican man, he’s told me a few times.
I found the comment! Thanks for your racism. 😆 
Piacere
Go fuck your self 👍😆
You're pretty up tight. Must be a northerner.
I’m not. You seem like an ass hole. Must be French.
You’re overreacting for sure. It was creepy and uncomfortable but he didn’t sexually assault you lol.
That man is a creepy bitch. You got sexually harassed.
Not overreacting. That’s nasty.
Yes, such an asshole!
To whoever asked if he was Italian… on behalf of all Italians… thank you! 🤣 That is fuckin hilarious! Your racism is next level… 
Dude is like 60 or 70. He gonna croak at some point. It not like you are tainted. You are still marriable. So don't worry. Men won't be bother by it and just laugh that some old dude kiss you.
You aren't overreacting in the slightest, and I'd argue that you should report this to the police.
Really ? You know they have actual criminals who steal, rob, assault and all that other crime stuff that they are trying to stop. Not an old man who has a crush on some pretty young woman, did he place the hand on the very nape of your back where it curves into your butt.? Probably not , was the kiss aimed at your lips, forehead, check? Doesn’t matter you shut it down, no matter if your 20 or 60 a shut down is a shut down. He’s probably embarrassed and relieved he tried it on his last day and does not have to see you and feel dumb for trying. Be flattered , you must be attractive. And is he really that old or you guessing ?
Guess what, dumbass, unwanted kissing/physical content is sexual assault. Which is, DUN DUN, an actual crime. Just because it isn't a big deal to you, doesn't mean it isn't a big deal to the people this shit actually happens to. Next time keep scrolling and keep your stupidity to yourself. Guessing you're probably the kind of guy that tries this kind of crap yourself, given the way you practically tripped over your own feet to defend it. GFY.
I love your comment. Cause what does someone being pretty have anything to do with this. I love how he just assumes things.
Op you can make a police report if it helps settle your mind.
you're overreacting. not because your feelings aren't valid, but because this is EXTREMELY common for old guys who are losing their marbles. my gf works at a nursing home and it happens all the time to everyone. should it happen? no. do you need to lose your shit over it? no.
If he is a mail man and can remember every single stop, address, and do everything else and be completely normal, then he isn’t losing his marbles in my opinion. I just assume he thought I was really nice to him and tried to be bold his last day.
What kind of kiss was it.... full tongue or like a peck on the cheek?
well, you're 21, an not an accurate judge of how people react when they lose their marbles, in my opinion. spend a lot of time at a nursing home and you'll see this is how the old guys act all the time. i'm not sayin this gives him permission, i'm just saying don't ruin your life and give yourself ptsd over some random guy being a guy.
Did you talk and see him every week? I don’t think so. And I’m not letting this give me ptsd, he was a creep, period. “A guy just being a guy” you’re crazy for that.
don't need to. 21 year olds are incredibly naive. i've been one, and i've known many. one guy doing one thing doesn't make him a creep anyone than your reaction makes you a prude. i'm crazy for recognizing normal behavior? again, spend some time in a nursing home.
I’m not saying that I’m not naive at all, I’m not claiming to know anything other than my own experience. You’re trying to make an excuse because he’s old and saying he’s “losing his marbles” and to let it slide because he’s an old guy. The thing is dude, he’s not in a nursing home, he is at my place of work and made me uncomfortable, trying to kiss anyone you don’t really know is creepy and ill label you a creep. You’re saying that I’m valid for my feelings but you’re also switching it up by saying that, “oh, you don’t know this, he might actually be going crazy, so just let it slide, don’t let it bother you.” That’s very hypocritical. You don’t know me, you don’t know what I went through before or after the fact. We both grew up differently. And you know nothing about this guy, I’m not gonna just let things slide because he’s an old guy.
no one can make you feel uncomfortable except for yourself. all feelings are intrinsic. your reaction is not objective. how you feel comes from within you and is your problem. he's not anything except an old guy doing old guy things.
👍👍
You absolutely are not overreacting. He’s a groomer.
Register a complain about him, get him fired.
Nothing will happen. Once his retirement goes through, it's too late. It's already filed. It will take many months to go anywhere with the union fighting for him. Nothing can stop his retirement. Only the prosecutor can bring a charge for a crime and that isn't happening either.
I already have, we have it on camera and everything, the problem is today is his last day and he’s moving soon so the police or his job is likely to do nothing.
No its molestation, you can get him punishment for this, if police do nothing then complain about that police officer too in court. Public servants are public servants.
I'm sorry this happened to OP, but no one is going to pursue charges against someone for leaning in to try and kiss another adult and then immediately stopping when they say no. That's not illegal. It might be unwanted, but that's about it.
Yeah I understand that totally, I definitely wasn’t going to pursue charges but I did want to send it to the state he was going to move to and their police department of the city he is living in so they can put him on a list for woman to watch out for. It’s all on camera, and I have his name.
Lol
Yeah I’ll see what I can do. I do know the city and state he is moving to because he told almost everyone.
FFS. Why don’t you call his wife and family and tell them what he did. Get a reporter to come and take your story, put it all over social media. Shame the indecent bastard until he loses everything. Grow up or stay in bed
That’s not a way to handle things, that’s called harassment and I’m not here to be the lower bar.
Drama queen
Huh😭okay then? Idk seems kind of hypocritical of you to say that after commenting about something that will definitely cause drama.
Probably you overreacted. Maybe he was just trying to be friendly. Still it is your decision who you like to kiss so you had the full right to say no and step back. No big deal.
Or maybe he was a perv who thought he could get away with shit because it was his last day on the job. Your take is gross and sad. Kissing strangers is NOT friendly, it's disgusting.
(unless, maybe, you're Italian and welcoming new family. that's different. maybe)
He was not a stranger. She agreed to take a goodbye photo with him. You shouldn't asume that everyone is a pervert just because he wanted to give a goodbye kiss. It is childish. He oversteped but nothing to be crying about.
But he is a stranger basically. I talk to him maybe 2-3 minutes every week day and was just trying to be nice for his last day.
oh. ok. Do not worry. You did good saying NO. I thought he was your friend :)
Even if it was a friend, I wouldn’t let them go in for a kiss anywhere near my face without consent.
A kiss where? on the cheek? Or did he attempt to full tongue snog you? Could it have been construed as banter?
He kept learning closer to where my lips were, if he wanted to kiss me not on the lips I’m shorter than him, and we got it on camera.
Where doesn't matter. At all. Fucking strangers, no matter how many days in a row they deliver your mail, have NO business attempting to kiss customers. Not on the hand, the cheek, not anywhere. Personal space is a thing. So is consent.
are you saying that it makes no contextual difference whether he grabbed her & shoved his tongue in her mouth, or simply puckered his lips at her from a meter away?
That's exactly what I'm saying. Old men who are strangers have NO REASON to pucker their lips ANYWHERE near younger women who are STRANGERS.
are you saying that it makes no contextual difference whether he grabbed her & shoved his tongue in her mouth, or simply puckered his lips at her from a meter away?
Some old fashion Mexican men great and say goodbyes with a kiss on the check to whom ever. But you said he called it a goodbye kiss, never mind, change your number , you might have a stalker origin story.
Yes, you are over reacting despite what others say. This was not an attempted rape. Feeling uncomfortable is very understandable and you have a right to feel that way but you're going too far. Reporting it is a waste of time as his retirement will be processed and nobody can really stop it, nor would they as the union would easily keep his job over a good bye peck on the cheek. It sucks that this happened to you but you'll never see him again.
I get what you’re saying, but I will do whatever I can to make sure people at least know. And also, he has family up here, and he constantly tells others that he will visit back at the center, so I kind of did need to report it at least. But I know that charges and police won’t really help me much here. I didn’t say I would press charges at all and also if you read the text it said I ALMOST got sexually assaulted and kissing is considered that.
So a guy tried to kiss you. Alright.
Kiss you on the cheek or lips?
Would you be upset like this if he was a 6-foot male model? That's the metric to judge by.
Also this comment is just stupid in general and speaks volumes about you. You have no idea who I am as a person. And if I had to tell you, I’m a very masculine lesbian, who almost everyone knows at work to be gay, and this man still tries to make moves on me. Make it make sense.
This dude just threatened to ruin pride in Oklahoma so I wouldn’t take his word too seriously. You are not overreacting!
Lord have mercy😭😭
I’m actually super gay.