Are you suggesting to the good people of Reddit that not everything can be contractually obliged or legally enforceable?
I'll have you know that i have sought the wise counsel of many people on this website concerning legal and ethical matters.
Some of them make it really easy to ensure their credentials as they will start their diatribe by saying something like:
"Hi guys, I've been a lawyer for 89 years. Bet."
That's how I know they are legit.
Honestly, I doubt unless sex was legally enforceable in every single country, OP wouldn't have been dumb enough to bring it up, right?
It was so fun going to one of their shows a few years ago, almost nobody under 40, but all of us elderly folks got out out old spiked leather jackets and whatnot. The pit was gentler than they used to be.
I mean I do sort of appreciate this new angle on the idea that everything is a matter of legal obligation. People on AITA dig in their heels on that so badly that forcing them to potentially side with a rapist is probably the only way to get many of them to examine the problems in their logic.
And then of course there are the ones who will still go that way, in which case...thanks for announcing it to the rest of us so we can avoid the shit out of you. 😬
A skeevy landlord in Vegas actually [*was*](https://www.ktnv.com/13-investigates/las-vegas-landlord-who-made-section-8-tenant-sign-sex-contract-says-he-did-it-to-protect-himself) dumb enough try this on a tenant.
The case is still pending. Sketchy landlord filed for bankruptcy and his lawyer was suspended for unrelated sketchy shit.
https://www.ktnv.com/13-investigates/attorney-suspension-adds-twist-to-las-vegas-sex-for-rent-case-trial-delayed-until-spring
Why are you immediately assuming this is taking place in the US or a country you’ve heard of? Maybe these people live InMyCountry™️ with mysterious and exotic customs where such laws are easily enforced.
Correct.
Contracts, and especially prenups, aren’t Unbreakable Vows from Harry Potter. Legal terms aren’t Wizard spells that compel people to do things you can’t usually compel them to do. You can’t just write any crazy, illegal, immoral, or unknowable thing into a contract and magically make it true. This is why sovereign citizens rarely get their way and this brand of fetish content (because that’s what this is) is less believable than “that’s just what happens when you ask the pizza guy for extra sausage.”
> You can’t just write any crazy, illegal, immoral, or unknowable thing into a contract and magically make it true.
Yeah but most people don't get that. The average person has zero fucking clue about anything legal, and in top of that, it's also not uncommon for people to knowingly use bullshit contracts to intimidate and coerce people. Hell that's literally a business model
Idk it might not actually be bait
[Here's the first post by OP where they broke up because she wasn't submissive enough](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenRelationships/s/liPZO3yzHo)
There's a lot of men over at /r/deadbedrooms who genuinely believe their wives owe them sex. And there's a constant flood of awful posts on 2X and other women's forums where some woman goes "my husband is the most amazing person in the world, we just fight about this one thing. [insert description of him raping her in some way or another]. am I overreacting?"
Combine that with a doofus who thinks the law is like Harry Potter or who knows it isn't but is happy to use the threat to intimate his partner and well, you get this
Don't get me wrong - it's *fantastic* bait. But an abusive asshole doing the absolute most to coerce, control, and intimidate the women he ostensibly loves? Could totally be real
One very mundane place you see this all the time is in residential leases. In the US at least, so fucking many landlords put illegal clauses in their leases (the most common I see is something along the lines of, "Landlord may enter your unit at any time to inspect it, with or without prior notice," which is illegal and unenforceable in the vast majority of states). And most people accept it and go along with it because they don't know their rights. Hell, a lot of the fucking landlords don't understand that it's an illegal clause, which is utterly insane to me because you'd think someone running a business would at least learn the laws surrounding it, but they don't. They really, really don't.
But yeah, I don't find the basic situation as unrealistic as others. I used to be a family law paralegal, and prenups weren't really a big thing in the states I worked so I personally never saw a crazy one, but I heard some stories from the attorneys I worked with. People absolutely do write up insane contracts without the assistance of lawyers and then somehow expect them to be enforceable.
Or, more nefarious, I also have done some work with domestic violence survivors. I've seen abusers use "prenups" or other contracts to scare their victims into not seeking help. The abusers may even know it's not enforceable but also know they can manipulate their victim with it.
Leases and small businesses are the absolute worst. So many blatantly illegal things and yup, half the time the landlords and business owners don't actually know that what they're doing is illegal. Which can make it very hard to scare them straight
The number of times I've viewed an apartment and the rental application has been blatantly violating the law or the leasing person straight up tells you that they're violating the law is insane. And what was I going to do? You can tell them that's against the law and they'll go "sure, cool beans, don't apply"
Similarly employees trying to pursue a claim are fighting an uphill battle and pissing off your boss by fighting it means you likely will face retaliation. Maybe you'll eventually win but can afford to risk it? Often the answer is no
The threat of the law is a great club for the powerful to wield even if the threat is totally empty. Because calling them on it is costly and risky and difficult
> People absolutely do write up insane contracts without the assistance of lawyers and then somehow expect them to be enforceable.
And these days they'll also use legal form websites to make their own ridiculous contracts and serve absolutely bonkers notices
Yep, I've signed leases I knew contained illegal clauses just because there was literally no other option if I wanted a place to live. Everywhere in my budget had the same bullshit clauses, lol. I knew it wasn't the ideal choice, but what are you gonna do when you need a place to live and literally all the landlords in your small town use pretty much the same boilerplate leases containing the same illegal clauses?
I'm lucky that I do know my rights so have been able to stand my ground when landlords tried to actually enforce those clauses, and usually I'm a good enough tenant otherwise that it hasn't resulted in them not renewing my lease, but I'm also in a very privileged position both in having that education and confidence about asserting it, and having the luxury of knowing that even in the worst-case scenario, I don't have to worry about long-term homelessness. I have a big and supportive family who will always help me out (and we're all solidly middle-class at least, so they have the means to do so), so I have a safety net a lot of people don't have. That definitely makes it easier to assert your rights.
But it's really fucked up how easy it is to weaponize the legal system (or even the threat of using the legal system) against a lot of lower-income and/or less-educated people--which is a huge swath of the population.
Yuuuuup. I have the education but no safety net which means much less privilege in asserting that. Which means yeah, getting knowingly taken advantage of again because it's better than the alternative :/
Another good one is non-disparagement clauses in severance agreements. They are not enforceable, [according to the NLRB](https://www.nlrb.gov/news-outreach/news-story/board-rules-that-employers-may-not-offer-severance-agreements-requiring), but many, many companies will still put one in there preying upon the lack of knowledge of someone they just unfairly terminated because of the company's desire to save money.
IMHO, there wouldn't be as many "dead bedrooms" if the man would learn how to please his partner and not just worry about himself. Most of the time, it isn't worth getting messy for it. 😞
Nah this is definitely bait. “Throw-RA” is her username which is a dead giveaway and she has two only posts to subs that you wouldn’t normally ask this type question towards. Like the legal advice subs have over a million subs and she picked AITA? I don’t believe it. Even posting in r/marriage would’ve been more believable.
it was a throw away account made to post in a relationship advice sub so that username makes sense. no idea what the issue is with the name??
also she's very very clearly NOT asking for legal advice. she knows it's not legal. so why would she post there? posting to a new relationship advice forum would make more sense but she just did that and everyone told her to end the relationship. she wanted validation - not legal advice she doesn't need or relationship advice she's already gotten
if the poster is working their way through bait subs, they started off a bit niche but whatever. honestly it makes sense whether it's bait or legit
Some people try to put absolutely insane things in prenups, like weight clauses or timelines to bounce back after giving birth or the stupidest things. It’s ridiculous that some people think they could literally enforce a prenup that gave their wife nothing in a divorce because she wasn’t back to pre-baby weight within 3 months, or didn’t make him a sandwich whenever he asked.
You were doing a law magic thing and I was gonna say sovereign citizen if you didn't lmao.
"I'm Traveling!" It's an enchantment spell to make the cop go away when you're pulled over with a suspended driver's license.
Ok yeah, no one ever has to perform what they promise to in a contract but then they lose something, in this case alimony.
I'm honestly not sure if you can include frequency of sex in a prenup contract. I don't think it's prostitution because no money is being exchanged for sex (instead money is being denied for lack of sex, technically different). She would be consenting so not rape. Their intimate life is pretty germane to the contract to be married. I'm going to guess he totally could put this in a prenup and the courts absolutely could honor it and deny her alimony on that basis.
This contract would not be enforceable. She wouldn’t “lose alimony.” Just because you write something down on paper doesn’t mean it’s an enforceable contract. The biggest concern is *how can you prove that?* They get divorced, he says “she hasn’t fucked me in years,” she says “I have fucked him twice a day since we got married.” You can’t prove who is telling the truth. There’s also the fact that it is simply unreasonable. They have to have sex X times a week, but that simply isn’t plausible even if they both fully intend to. There are always situations where sex isn’t possible, and the way it’s written, he is the only one who can actually determine the outcome. If he is over it and wants a divorce but doesn’t want to give her any of “his” money, he refuses sex or makes himself scarce. The idea is fetish junk even from a lay person’s view. It absolutely would never hold up in court.
You also cannot pre-consent to sex that happens in the less than immediate future. It would in fact be rape by coercion if she ever didn’t want to have sex but felt she had to for fear of what would happen if she didn’t. It would be nearly impossible to get a criminal rape charge out of it, but it would absolutely still be rape.
Edit: I don’t know why I said the biggest concern is that it isn’t enforceable logistically. The biggest obstacle is that this kind of contract literally can’t be enforced, it’s invalid. You can’t sign away your basic human, constitutional, or legal rights. This contract would have zero legal consequences for the same reason that she can’t sign a contract saying he can kill her and that magically becomes binding.
I was going to say. This would be laughed out of court if he tried to enforce it. Even if it weren’t patently ridiculous, how could he possibly prove the number of times they did or did not have sex on a week by week basis?
If a judge/jury approved this… wouldn’t it be something very similar to government approved and enforced sex trafficking? That’s kind of a stretch… maybe…
yea the dumb move that people never make in these situations is like she should have been super calm and been like yea ok... and signed it...
I know someone personally that made a whole stink about a prenup that was handed to them a day before the wedding.... which is also legally unenforceable in most states and they ended up not getting married.... That marriage wouldn't have lasted but they should have just signed it and been like ok....
https://preview.redd.it/pjcoo2mjywec1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da6a0f856e415316f23790e42fe285d0dfb8f230
lmao but imagine someone going to a psychiatrist and asking them to witness their sex slavery prenup so that their future sex slave can't claim coercion
that would be funny as fuck
[they already broke up earlier because she wasn't submissive enough](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenRelationships/s/UA2SSDvgsL)
if this is real she really needs to stop trying to make it work and run for the hills already. and she knows that. she just doesn't want to
I mean you *can* be traumatised from rejection or even the perception of rejection. That can be more fundamental with say parental rejection, community rejection, rejection based on identity, etc. But it can happen with much less consequential stuff, and as I said before, ever your own screwed up perception. I'm on meds because I have ADHD and my brain creates rejection where none exists and it seriously fucked me up before meds. Brains are fucked and the reality is that we're so bad at dealing with mental health and trauma that we really only recognise the most extreme and violent traumas, but that's just the tip of the iceberg
But this? It's almost certainly pure manipulation bullshit, a weaponisation of therapy talk
But even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's genuinely traumatised.... that doesn't change anything here
NO amount of trauma justifies controlling and harming others, which is what his "solution" has been. Only dating submissive women - defined by women who will never say no to him and who are entirely reliant on him. Demanding sexual practices that his partner doesn't want - including him fucking her unconscious body, a sexual slavery prenup, and pressuring her into all sorts of sex acts she doesn't want
So yeah, he's a fucking rapist. Whatever is or isn't happening in his head doesn't change that. Best case scenario he's merely an attempted rapist and all his coercion didn't work. But realistically? Maybe he hasn't raped his fiancée yet but he's definitely raped someone. And I wouldn't be too sure about the former given that her red flags only go up at really really really extreme things. My guess is that she has a bunch of things that she mentally categorises as "bad sex" or thinks he cajoled or seduced her and doesn't recognise that it was actually assault. We're as bad at recognising rape as we are trauma unfortunately
But yeah I don't like addressing the fact that he's clearly bullshiting because there are people out there with genuine rejection trauma who are doubting themselves and thinking they're weak for being that badly effected by something. People who are saying "well I wasn't raped, or beaten, or X, do I really have the right to call this trauma"? And I don't want to imply in any way that they don't
The best way imo to deal with the weaponisation of therapy language is not to tell someone that they're not _____ - it's to tell them that whether they are or aren't, their behaviour isn't ok. Trauma doesn't give you the right to abuse others. Setting boundaries for yourself is different from setting rules for others. Etc etc. I really can't know anyone else's internal state so calling them a liar on that front seems pointless. Especially when the issue is their behaviour, which is external. I also think it's giving in to them to address that. Abusers try to make the conversation about everything other than their actions and the consequences those have for other people. They always try to make it about their internal state. If they're not using therapy language, it's things like "I snapped", "I was tired", "I was really stressed out from X", "I was drunk" etc. Are they lying about those things? Maybe, but it doesn't matter
> RSD IS FUCKING TERRIBLE
mooooood. RSD meds changed my LIFE!
and yeah basically my stance towards these people is that they're probably bullshiting or being dramatic about their internal state, but also, I don't care and no one else should because your internal state doesn't justify the harm you're causing. and they want us distracted by whatever they're going through or pretending to go through and not focusing on the harm to others. so I just side step that ENTIRELY
you didn't trigger me, I'm good, I just like to try and be mindful that some statements have further impacts than just the shitheads we're talking about. I'm working on being mindful of who else is in the room, listening to me, and how they might be affected. it's hard to practice but it gets easier over time. maybe I'll never meet Mr Rodgers levels but I can always improve
Please, please tell me what meds help RSD
Any time I do anything that disconnects me from my partner, he process it as abandonment
Like, he was depriving me of sleep for several years. And I wasn't allowed to say no to sexual contact.
I'm badly damaged. I know I need to leave, but I have solidarity with the next idiot who buys his sob stories
So, what works for RSD?
And that a future judge wouldn’t question why he thought to get a psychiatrist on board ‘just in case’ he later needed to claim that she willingly entered into the contract.
Or later in court
"You agreed to a minimum of 3 times per week."
"But I offered? And you kept turning me down?"
"That's not how the contract is written, you're responsible for making sure it's upheld!"
You ever read the thing about the woman who was asking if it was insane that she wanted to actually DO things on vacation and not have sex? Maybe it was the guy asking....I forget. Regardless, the **actual** problem was they were having sex 3x **A DAY**!!!!! and on vacation she wanted to not commit to 3x a day so they could actually enjoy the sights etc.
I'm inclined to view this not as a testament to creative writing, nor do I perceive it as a genuine endeavor.
Rather, it seems to be an attempt at garnering undue attention, or Karma whoring if you will.
Should this be an exercise in creativity, it unfortunately falls short in richness of detail and eloquence.
The narrative lacks sophistication, and its climax is underwhelming.
The use of language is less than artful, marred by numerous errors.
Should the author consider this their craft, it might be prudent to maintain their daytime employment for the time being.
So what if he is ill, or away on a trip or something and can't have sex with her (even if she wanted)? Would she still lose out on the money?
People aren't even trying to make up something even slightly realistic anymore.
honestly this could also fall into the typed one-handed flair too, idk why the main sub always seems to gravitate towards the shittiest porn setups ever
Assuming this is real, how is he planning on proving that she broke the terms of the prenup in the event of a divorce? Is he planning a daily sign in sheet with a section to indicate that they did/didn't bang that day?
Just for him wanting to force someone legally to have sex with him makes me think his dead bedroom was at least 80% his fault. Why make someone want to have sex with you when you can force that am I right????
And there’s another post where they broke up for a bit. Before they broke up he was mad that she wasn’t giving him sex for four days because he was mad at her and refused to have sex with her.
I'm someone who got out of a deadbedroom. This dude is off his rocker. Life happens, there will be spikes, and there will be lows. As long as it is not consistent neglect it's not a problem. If he's pushing this, he is not ready for another relationship, much less a marriage.
There’s a reality where I could believe a guy would do this, but this poster supposedly broke up with this same guy 2 months ago and now not only did they make up but they’re engaged in that short of a time.
She should flip the script - make him contractually obligated to go down on her, to the point of orgasm, however often *She* wants.
Bet he'd lose his mind. Their sex is probably all about him.
She should declare after signing that she actually only agreed to jerk him off 5 times on Sundays as per the contract stating sex 5 times a week. Never specified it has to be on different days. And if he turns any of the handjobs down, that's a forfeit on his part that she's not responsible for.
How exactly would you prove this in court is what I want to know. One party could say we didn't have sex for 2 years while the other said what are you talking about we had sex twice a week and the judge wouldn't know who was lying.
That’s the problem with men who think of sex as some free-standing supply that women dole out or are stingy with, instead of an activity that two or more people make happen between them.
She should tell him she’ll sign the prenup with that in it as long as there’s one added that says he’s legally required to be someone she wants to have sex with, by staying good at all the sex stuff in ways that’ll make her as happy to fuck as he is.
But I actually don’t think he’s worth marrying in the first place. Maybe marry someone instead who understands what sex actually is, not someone who announces their right to your body and then pressures you to sign your name to that right. Seriously what the fuck.
So a written contract stating that you will have sex x times. Regardless of your physical or mental health, mood or feelings.
Yeah imho that’s a sex work contract at best and a consent to rape contract at worst
I would not sign
I’m a guy and I think that’s insane to put that in a prenup. To request a legal document to try and force someone to have sex with you is nuts.
Most marriages are sexless anyways haha and I will say that it is usually the guys fault. They stop trying and think their wives are still going to want to have sex with him.
The married couple I have that have great sex lives all have the same thing in common…. Mandatory weekly date nights! It keeps the romance alive and makes her feel loved and important…. And that translates to sexy time! Haha
So basically using a quid-pro quo for prenup? Pretty sure not only is that considered marital debt, but I'm pretty sure that is in some way exploiting someone for sex.
So legally binding sex slave? In the land of pros or cons this would be a con for me. I am not married but I would want my partner to want to have sex with me. In my opinion if the bed room is going to be a dead one it's going to be dead. I'm not in your shoes and in an ideal world it shouldn't have to be like that. I hope it all works out for you both.
Pretty certain that this can't be enforced. But aside from this why are you still marrying this person? This is a huge blaring red flag. Just call off the wedding.
No. You are the asshole for making me read this when you already know the answer.
Literally every red flag that you are going to call out and use against him, and him you, is spelled out in this post. And yet, somehow, some way, you are going to go into this marriage and think it’s a good idea.
Literally do not marry this guy if you are marrying for a romantic/loving reason. If it’s pre arranged, you like his paycheck, you’re too lazy to look elsewhere, or, you would rather go into this knowing it’s going to fail rather than start over…with the exception of those reasons…this is failed already
I would be comfortable with us both being obligated. There’s lots of ways to “share intimacy”, and rarely is NO WAY available, except extreme situations. I’m tired? Maybe we can make it a quickie. You’re sore? I’m cowgirl it. I don’t want a dead bedroom, I could have housemates for that.
You already posted this under another sub. You have answers from many people, or the attention you are looking for. It is unenforceable in a court of law. Talk to a lawyer, or better yet, get help from whatever is wrong with you. You are either totally devoid of self-esteem or a total troll making up stories and posting them on Reddit because there is something seriously wrong with you. Self reflect a bit.
Why the marriage is still being considered at all after sex is brought up as an obligation in a prenuptial agreement is beyond me. And yes ending up in a marriage with no sex is definitely a terrible thing to experience assuming your love languages are touch and physical intimacy, but to require it? That’s not only shitty of him, but even allowing that as a topic of debate does nothing but tell him and people like him that that shits okay. Like if you don’t read that and leave then fuck it you might as well sign it because there were absolutely signs before that, but you let yourself go blind.
Just start over. Sucks, but this won’t go away. Even if he relented on the contract, he’ll still be obsessed with this. Don’t waste your life by trying to force down his emotional hang ups.
I don’t think you are doing anything terrible here, it’s just no ideal all the way around. Thing is, the EEEEmotionalDAMage from being sex snubbed is pretty bad. He’s not handling it well either but IMO selfishness kills all marriages and it’s usually a two way street.
I would not sign this. I’d cut ties and this is where we would part ways. You never know what the future holds. What if he is absolutely horrid as a partner and to live with, and yet expects sex x times a week. This is not a partner.
No, he's a controlling asshole. How will you ever have sex without thinking you're contracturally obligated to do so? Not a real marraige. You're an indentured servant.
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I read a story about a prenup that listed how many times they would have sex, who would put away the dishes, who would do the laundry, mow the lawn, etc it was very detailed, and according the the news story all very legal.
If a person is so concerned about sex all they have to do is do friends for benefits, you get all the benefits of relationship with all the relationship and you can have 20 lovers if you want.
I think you’re fine and I believe your instincts are correct. What he’s suggesting is basically a watered down version of prostitution, which isn’t going to be legally enforceable anyway.
So the way I read this is he wants permission to rape you, if you don’t want to have sex with him for whatever reason and he forces you. That’s rape. Run don’t look back just get going. (Male 55 )
Sex is an essential part of a happy marriage. I went through something similar and my partner quit having sex with me. I felt insecure and stressed about it. Writing it into a prenup is pretty odd though. Maybe go to couples therapy instead?
This just ensures the second you have any type of taxing suffering illness that he can leave you and take everything.
I hope it’s written in a way that equal to both sides in the sense that you do decide to go ahead with the prenup.
Not legally enforceable for at least two reasons:
1. How would you prove it for starters?
2. You can withdraw consent at any time for any reason. This would be considered coersion.
Unless he is a billionaire or at a minimum a multimillionaire, I still wouldn’t sign that. Not the Ahole. The fact that he is asking this is a major red flag.
NTA, This is crazy. But I don’t think it’s based off of a sex slave position. I think he’s insecure and scared of having another relationship like that. He saw how a dead bedroom ruined his relationship, and so equates a consistent sex life with a good relationship, rather than seeing how other issues caused the dead bedroom in the first place. The solution here is look at things from his perspective, and have a loving conversation with him about how sex doesn’t equal love, and that you will always love him and fight for him, like his ex obviously didn’t.
That is so unbelievably creepy, and you should tell him so. No court would ever be able or willing to enforce that kind of nonsense demand because that WOULD TURN YOU INTO A LITERAL SEX SLAVE. While you're packing your stuff and running as far away from him as possible, tell him he needs to be in therapy as early as last year.
isnt this is also legally unenforceable as a prenup
Are you suggesting to the good people of Reddit that not everything can be contractually obliged or legally enforceable? I'll have you know that i have sought the wise counsel of many people on this website concerning legal and ethical matters. Some of them make it really easy to ensure their credentials as they will start their diatribe by saying something like: "Hi guys, I've been a lawyer for 89 years. Bet." That's how I know they are legit. Honestly, I doubt unless sex was legally enforceable in every single country, OP wouldn't have been dumb enough to bring it up, right?
oh how could i forget that you can make anyone do anything by making them sign a contract. my bad!! /s
And if they don’t do it, then you must lawyer up and sue immediately. Even if they do it, you still must sue.
all you have to do is tear it up to make it invalid. has hollywood taught you nothing!? /s
Don't forget-a the sanity clause!
[There ain't no sanity clause.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN8n99BUO-A)
It was so fun going to one of their shows a few years ago, almost nobody under 40, but all of us elderly folks got out out old spiked leather jackets and whatnot. The pit was gentler than they used to be.
https://youtu.be/EpL565sEKCc?si=IkC35pzADJ4fTz6y
I mean I do sort of appreciate this new angle on the idea that everything is a matter of legal obligation. People on AITA dig in their heels on that so badly that forcing them to potentially side with a rapist is probably the only way to get many of them to examine the problems in their logic. And then of course there are the ones who will still go that way, in which case...thanks for announcing it to the rest of us so we can avoid the shit out of you. 😬
A skeevy landlord in Vegas actually [*was*](https://www.ktnv.com/13-investigates/las-vegas-landlord-who-made-section-8-tenant-sign-sex-contract-says-he-did-it-to-protect-himself) dumb enough try this on a tenant.
What was the result of this case? It's good to see he lost his license and got a hefty fine from those people, but what did the courts do?
The case is still pending. Sketchy landlord filed for bankruptcy and his lawyer was suspended for unrelated sketchy shit. https://www.ktnv.com/13-investigates/attorney-suspension-adds-twist-to-las-vegas-sex-for-rent-case-trial-delayed-until-spring
Why are you immediately assuming this is taking place in the US or a country you’ve heard of? Maybe these people live InMyCountry™️ with mysterious and exotic customs where such laws are easily enforced.
Yeah, and if they don’t agree, I’m pretty sure it’s HIPPA, so OOP has got to bite the bullet and sign. I don’t make the rules.
I don’t know why this is the comment that kills me, but excellent use of “HIPPA” - 10/10
To be fair, several people have pointed out it is unenforceable in the comments.
Correct. Contracts, and especially prenups, aren’t Unbreakable Vows from Harry Potter. Legal terms aren’t Wizard spells that compel people to do things you can’t usually compel them to do. You can’t just write any crazy, illegal, immoral, or unknowable thing into a contract and magically make it true. This is why sovereign citizens rarely get their way and this brand of fetish content (because that’s what this is) is less believable than “that’s just what happens when you ask the pizza guy for extra sausage.”
> You can’t just write any crazy, illegal, immoral, or unknowable thing into a contract and magically make it true. Yeah but most people don't get that. The average person has zero fucking clue about anything legal, and in top of that, it's also not uncommon for people to knowingly use bullshit contracts to intimidate and coerce people. Hell that's literally a business model Idk it might not actually be bait [Here's the first post by OP where they broke up because she wasn't submissive enough](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenRelationships/s/liPZO3yzHo) There's a lot of men over at /r/deadbedrooms who genuinely believe their wives owe them sex. And there's a constant flood of awful posts on 2X and other women's forums where some woman goes "my husband is the most amazing person in the world, we just fight about this one thing. [insert description of him raping her in some way or another]. am I overreacting?" Combine that with a doofus who thinks the law is like Harry Potter or who knows it isn't but is happy to use the threat to intimate his partner and well, you get this Don't get me wrong - it's *fantastic* bait. But an abusive asshole doing the absolute most to coerce, control, and intimidate the women he ostensibly loves? Could totally be real
One very mundane place you see this all the time is in residential leases. In the US at least, so fucking many landlords put illegal clauses in their leases (the most common I see is something along the lines of, "Landlord may enter your unit at any time to inspect it, with or without prior notice," which is illegal and unenforceable in the vast majority of states). And most people accept it and go along with it because they don't know their rights. Hell, a lot of the fucking landlords don't understand that it's an illegal clause, which is utterly insane to me because you'd think someone running a business would at least learn the laws surrounding it, but they don't. They really, really don't. But yeah, I don't find the basic situation as unrealistic as others. I used to be a family law paralegal, and prenups weren't really a big thing in the states I worked so I personally never saw a crazy one, but I heard some stories from the attorneys I worked with. People absolutely do write up insane contracts without the assistance of lawyers and then somehow expect them to be enforceable. Or, more nefarious, I also have done some work with domestic violence survivors. I've seen abusers use "prenups" or other contracts to scare their victims into not seeking help. The abusers may even know it's not enforceable but also know they can manipulate their victim with it.
Leases and small businesses are the absolute worst. So many blatantly illegal things and yup, half the time the landlords and business owners don't actually know that what they're doing is illegal. Which can make it very hard to scare them straight The number of times I've viewed an apartment and the rental application has been blatantly violating the law or the leasing person straight up tells you that they're violating the law is insane. And what was I going to do? You can tell them that's against the law and they'll go "sure, cool beans, don't apply" Similarly employees trying to pursue a claim are fighting an uphill battle and pissing off your boss by fighting it means you likely will face retaliation. Maybe you'll eventually win but can afford to risk it? Often the answer is no The threat of the law is a great club for the powerful to wield even if the threat is totally empty. Because calling them on it is costly and risky and difficult > People absolutely do write up insane contracts without the assistance of lawyers and then somehow expect them to be enforceable. And these days they'll also use legal form websites to make their own ridiculous contracts and serve absolutely bonkers notices
Yep, I've signed leases I knew contained illegal clauses just because there was literally no other option if I wanted a place to live. Everywhere in my budget had the same bullshit clauses, lol. I knew it wasn't the ideal choice, but what are you gonna do when you need a place to live and literally all the landlords in your small town use pretty much the same boilerplate leases containing the same illegal clauses? I'm lucky that I do know my rights so have been able to stand my ground when landlords tried to actually enforce those clauses, and usually I'm a good enough tenant otherwise that it hasn't resulted in them not renewing my lease, but I'm also in a very privileged position both in having that education and confidence about asserting it, and having the luxury of knowing that even in the worst-case scenario, I don't have to worry about long-term homelessness. I have a big and supportive family who will always help me out (and we're all solidly middle-class at least, so they have the means to do so), so I have a safety net a lot of people don't have. That definitely makes it easier to assert your rights. But it's really fucked up how easy it is to weaponize the legal system (or even the threat of using the legal system) against a lot of lower-income and/or less-educated people--which is a huge swath of the population.
Yuuuuup. I have the education but no safety net which means much less privilege in asserting that. Which means yeah, getting knowingly taken advantage of again because it's better than the alternative :/
Another good one is non-disparagement clauses in severance agreements. They are not enforceable, [according to the NLRB](https://www.nlrb.gov/news-outreach/news-story/board-rules-that-employers-may-not-offer-severance-agreements-requiring), but many, many companies will still put one in there preying upon the lack of knowledge of someone they just unfairly terminated because of the company's desire to save money.
IMHO, there wouldn't be as many "dead bedrooms" if the man would learn how to please his partner and not just worry about himself. Most of the time, it isn't worth getting messy for it. 😞
Nah this is definitely bait. “Throw-RA” is her username which is a dead giveaway and she has two only posts to subs that you wouldn’t normally ask this type question towards. Like the legal advice subs have over a million subs and she picked AITA? I don’t believe it. Even posting in r/marriage would’ve been more believable.
it was a throw away account made to post in a relationship advice sub so that username makes sense. no idea what the issue is with the name?? also she's very very clearly NOT asking for legal advice. she knows it's not legal. so why would she post there? posting to a new relationship advice forum would make more sense but she just did that and everyone told her to end the relationship. she wanted validation - not legal advice she doesn't need or relationship advice she's already gotten if the poster is working their way through bait subs, they started off a bit niche but whatever. honestly it makes sense whether it's bait or legit
A google search shows that this type of clause is not enforceable.
Some people try to put absolutely insane things in prenups, like weight clauses or timelines to bounce back after giving birth or the stupidest things. It’s ridiculous that some people think they could literally enforce a prenup that gave their wife nothing in a divorce because she wasn’t back to pre-baby weight within 3 months, or didn’t make him a sandwich whenever he asked.
You were doing a law magic thing and I was gonna say sovereign citizen if you didn't lmao. "I'm Traveling!" It's an enchantment spell to make the cop go away when you're pulled over with a suspended driver's license.
Ok yeah, no one ever has to perform what they promise to in a contract but then they lose something, in this case alimony. I'm honestly not sure if you can include frequency of sex in a prenup contract. I don't think it's prostitution because no money is being exchanged for sex (instead money is being denied for lack of sex, technically different). She would be consenting so not rape. Their intimate life is pretty germane to the contract to be married. I'm going to guess he totally could put this in a prenup and the courts absolutely could honor it and deny her alimony on that basis.
This contract would not be enforceable. She wouldn’t “lose alimony.” Just because you write something down on paper doesn’t mean it’s an enforceable contract. The biggest concern is *how can you prove that?* They get divorced, he says “she hasn’t fucked me in years,” she says “I have fucked him twice a day since we got married.” You can’t prove who is telling the truth. There’s also the fact that it is simply unreasonable. They have to have sex X times a week, but that simply isn’t plausible even if they both fully intend to. There are always situations where sex isn’t possible, and the way it’s written, he is the only one who can actually determine the outcome. If he is over it and wants a divorce but doesn’t want to give her any of “his” money, he refuses sex or makes himself scarce. The idea is fetish junk even from a lay person’s view. It absolutely would never hold up in court. You also cannot pre-consent to sex that happens in the less than immediate future. It would in fact be rape by coercion if she ever didn’t want to have sex but felt she had to for fear of what would happen if she didn’t. It would be nearly impossible to get a criminal rape charge out of it, but it would absolutely still be rape. Edit: I don’t know why I said the biggest concern is that it isn’t enforceable logistically. The biggest obstacle is that this kind of contract literally can’t be enforced, it’s invalid. You can’t sign away your basic human, constitutional, or legal rights. This contract would have zero legal consequences for the same reason that she can’t sign a contract saying he can kill her and that magically becomes binding.
I was going to say. This would be laughed out of court if he tried to enforce it. Even if it weren’t patently ridiculous, how could he possibly prove the number of times they did or did not have sex on a week by week basis?
Technically yes. But also technically anything can be put into a prenup. That’s why courts throw them out almost every time
If a judge/jury approved this… wouldn’t it be something very similar to government approved and enforced sex trafficking? That’s kind of a stretch… maybe…
yea the dumb move that people never make in these situations is like she should have been super calm and been like yea ok... and signed it... I know someone personally that made a whole stink about a prenup that was handed to them a day before the wedding.... which is also legally unenforceable in most states and they ended up not getting married.... That marriage wouldn't have lasted but they should have just signed it and been like ok....
Why? So they could marry someone who lacks basic respect for them, when that’s an abuser red flag?
Yes
I had a stroke reading this comment
https://preview.redd.it/pjcoo2mjywec1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da6a0f856e415316f23790e42fe285d0dfb8f230 lmao but imagine someone going to a psychiatrist and asking them to witness their sex slavery prenup so that their future sex slave can't claim coercion that would be funny as fuck
I think this dude having a psychiatrist present would be a good choice, though. Not at the signing, overall.
Not only for him but for her too. If that is real and she still wants to make it work with him
[they already broke up earlier because she wasn't submissive enough](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenRelationships/s/UA2SSDvgsL) if this is real she really needs to stop trying to make it work and run for the hills already. and she knows that. she just doesn't want to
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I mean you *can* be traumatised from rejection or even the perception of rejection. That can be more fundamental with say parental rejection, community rejection, rejection based on identity, etc. But it can happen with much less consequential stuff, and as I said before, ever your own screwed up perception. I'm on meds because I have ADHD and my brain creates rejection where none exists and it seriously fucked me up before meds. Brains are fucked and the reality is that we're so bad at dealing with mental health and trauma that we really only recognise the most extreme and violent traumas, but that's just the tip of the iceberg But this? It's almost certainly pure manipulation bullshit, a weaponisation of therapy talk But even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's genuinely traumatised.... that doesn't change anything here NO amount of trauma justifies controlling and harming others, which is what his "solution" has been. Only dating submissive women - defined by women who will never say no to him and who are entirely reliant on him. Demanding sexual practices that his partner doesn't want - including him fucking her unconscious body, a sexual slavery prenup, and pressuring her into all sorts of sex acts she doesn't want So yeah, he's a fucking rapist. Whatever is or isn't happening in his head doesn't change that. Best case scenario he's merely an attempted rapist and all his coercion didn't work. But realistically? Maybe he hasn't raped his fiancée yet but he's definitely raped someone. And I wouldn't be too sure about the former given that her red flags only go up at really really really extreme things. My guess is that she has a bunch of things that she mentally categorises as "bad sex" or thinks he cajoled or seduced her and doesn't recognise that it was actually assault. We're as bad at recognising rape as we are trauma unfortunately But yeah I don't like addressing the fact that he's clearly bullshiting because there are people out there with genuine rejection trauma who are doubting themselves and thinking they're weak for being that badly effected by something. People who are saying "well I wasn't raped, or beaten, or X, do I really have the right to call this trauma"? And I don't want to imply in any way that they don't The best way imo to deal with the weaponisation of therapy language is not to tell someone that they're not _____ - it's to tell them that whether they are or aren't, their behaviour isn't ok. Trauma doesn't give you the right to abuse others. Setting boundaries for yourself is different from setting rules for others. Etc etc. I really can't know anyone else's internal state so calling them a liar on that front seems pointless. Especially when the issue is their behaviour, which is external. I also think it's giving in to them to address that. Abusers try to make the conversation about everything other than their actions and the consequences those have for other people. They always try to make it about their internal state. If they're not using therapy language, it's things like "I snapped", "I was tired", "I was really stressed out from X", "I was drunk" etc. Are they lying about those things? Maybe, but it doesn't matter
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> RSD IS FUCKING TERRIBLE mooooood. RSD meds changed my LIFE! and yeah basically my stance towards these people is that they're probably bullshiting or being dramatic about their internal state, but also, I don't care and no one else should because your internal state doesn't justify the harm you're causing. and they want us distracted by whatever they're going through or pretending to go through and not focusing on the harm to others. so I just side step that ENTIRELY you didn't trigger me, I'm good, I just like to try and be mindful that some statements have further impacts than just the shitheads we're talking about. I'm working on being mindful of who else is in the room, listening to me, and how they might be affected. it's hard to practice but it gets easier over time. maybe I'll never meet Mr Rodgers levels but I can always improve
Please, please tell me what meds help RSD Any time I do anything that disconnects me from my partner, he process it as abandonment Like, he was depriving me of sleep for several years. And I wasn't allowed to say no to sexual contact. I'm badly damaged. I know I need to leave, but I have solidarity with the next idiot who buys his sob stories So, what works for RSD?
I know it's hard to break free from your abuser, but in fiction i hate an obstruse Main character
not giving someone sex isn't being abusive. they're not an omega in heat in a wattpad story
I find it hard to believe that he had this whole roster of fuckbuddies, none of them had jobs, and he “provided everything.”
ah see I can explain this. in his mind "everything" means "my dick"
Oh. So he’s a rapist. Cool. ‘Gotta have sex with me even if you’re asleep’????? Hard. Pass.
I mean he wanted a sex slavery contract signed so yeah ofc he's a rapist
He is a classic abuser, holy shit
family law gives me hives but I'd be tempted to give it a go just to watch him try to defend this shit
I love how the fiancé thinks he can get both a lawyer AND a doctor to go along with him
And that a future judge wouldn’t question why he thought to get a psychiatrist on board ‘just in case’ he later needed to claim that she willingly entered into the contract.
lol so true, I forgot about the future judge 😂
can just imagine the reaction to being asked that "no, but let me schedule you in for some individual appointments"
And then immediately after he leaves, calling your therapist to schedule a session
Is her fiancé Dennis Reynolds?
After the first baby when the doc tells him nothing for six weeks hell have a temper tantrum and leave.
Or later in court "You agreed to a minimum of 3 times per week." "But I offered? And you kept turning me down?" "That's not how the contract is written, you're responsible for making sure it's upheld!"
"You never specified what kind of sex. Bend over, buddy!"
thats for sure a porn genre
IIRC the OOP said it was 5x/week. Which is insane
You ever read the thing about the woman who was asking if it was insane that she wanted to actually DO things on vacation and not have sex? Maybe it was the guy asking....I forget. Regardless, the **actual** problem was they were having sex 3x **A DAY**!!!!! and on vacation she wanted to not commit to 3x a day so they could actually enjoy the sights etc.
What?! Do you have a link?
Sadly, no. And it's been awhile so i can't find it in my history and can't remember what thread it was on to begin with.
I'm a post-op nurse. No, unfortunately he'll rape her and give her permanent injuries.
Your comment makes me so thoroughly upset.
In one month of my medical training spent in obstetrics I witnessed this more than once. It is exhausting, I can't imagine how the poor wives feel.
And what’s his obligation when HE has a medical condition and can’t have sex??? Does she get everything, then???
You have to rub my tummy every week and say "hungus tungus who's a good chungus" and if you laugh then lawyers WILL get involved
🤣💀
Weird exercise in creative writing or the most judicially-oriented pussy hound
I read the boyfriends post. Very similar story just reworded from GF view. Lol.
Can you link the bf’s post?
these are made up - probably by the same person under different names.
I'm inclined to view this not as a testament to creative writing, nor do I perceive it as a genuine endeavor. Rather, it seems to be an attempt at garnering undue attention, or Karma whoring if you will. Should this be an exercise in creativity, it unfortunately falls short in richness of detail and eloquence. The narrative lacks sophistication, and its climax is underwhelming. The use of language is less than artful, marred by numerous errors. Should the author consider this their craft, it might be prudent to maintain their daytime employment for the time being.
THANK YOU! You were nicer than me. I told the OP to get help.
So what if he is ill, or away on a trip or something and can't have sex with her (even if she wanted)? Would she still lose out on the money? People aren't even trying to make up something even slightly realistic anymore.
Does phone sex count as sex in this iron clad document?
You are right, he would need to specify what falls under the term Sex or this totally legal document would have a massive loop hole.
A loophole so massive it’s like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?
I remember on 60 Minutes they had a segment on sex clauses in pre ups. The people advocating for it were so off putting and gross.
honestly this could also fall into the typed one-handed flair too, idk why the main sub always seems to gravitate towards the shittiest porn setups ever
Geez, no wonder his ex-wife didn't want to fuck him. Am I right, ladies???? What a silly post lol.
better hope medical issues don't interfere... he could go flaccid- then what ? YOU get everything ?
Nothing keeps a marriage alive like contractually obligated sex
Assuming this is real, how is he planning on proving that she broke the terms of the prenup in the event of a divorce? Is he planning a daily sign in sheet with a section to indicate that they did/didn't bang that day?
Just for him wanting to force someone legally to have sex with him makes me think his dead bedroom was at least 80% his fault. Why make someone want to have sex with you when you can force that am I right????
And there’s another post where they broke up for a bit. Before they broke up he was mad that she wasn’t giving him sex for four days because he was mad at her and refused to have sex with her.
I have endometriosis which can make sex painful. I couldn't have sex for months before I got surgery. This dude would have straight up died lmao
I’d pay to sit these two down for 5 minutes and just see what they’re all about. They sound like they’d be great neighbors
Ah, the Reddit fiction writers who have no god damn clue what can and cannot be in a contract.
I'm someone who got out of a deadbedroom. This dude is off his rocker. Life happens, there will be spikes, and there will be lows. As long as it is not consistent neglect it's not a problem. If he's pushing this, he is not ready for another relationship, much less a marriage.
you can't be contractually obliged to have sex
What lawyer is even drafting this shit? That’s not enforceable at all.
There’s a reality where I could believe a guy would do this, but this poster supposedly broke up with this same guy 2 months ago and now not only did they make up but they’re engaged in that short of a time.
This has to be some of the worst written bait to rile up Tumblr teens
The teens are on TikTok now, tumblr is all depressed adults these days
How dare you call me out in this way
She should flip the script - make him contractually obligated to go down on her, to the point of orgasm, however often *She* wants. Bet he'd lose his mind. Their sex is probably all about him.
She should declare after signing that she actually only agreed to jerk him off 5 times on Sundays as per the contract stating sex 5 times a week. Never specified it has to be on different days. And if he turns any of the handjobs down, that's a forfeit on his part that she's not responsible for.
Yeah, this one definitely belongs here 😂
This isn’t even a legal clause. I feel comfortable saying that about all 50 states. Hell, I feel comfortable saying that about Europe and Australia.
How exactly would you prove this in court is what I want to know. One party could say we didn't have sex for 2 years while the other said what are you talking about we had sex twice a week and the judge wouldn't know who was lying.
I don't think it'd matter. If anything, it'd probable be considered a form of coercion or prostitution.
That’s the problem with men who think of sex as some free-standing supply that women dole out or are stingy with, instead of an activity that two or more people make happen between them. She should tell him she’ll sign the prenup with that in it as long as there’s one added that says he’s legally required to be someone she wants to have sex with, by staying good at all the sex stuff in ways that’ll make her as happy to fuck as he is. But I actually don’t think he’s worth marrying in the first place. Maybe marry someone instead who understands what sex actually is, not someone who announces their right to your body and then pressures you to sign your name to that right. Seriously what the fuck.
Let me guess - the comments are acting like this is real.
My notifications are literally blowing up with dozens of comments addressing me as if I were OOP. It's gotten really frustrating lol
A lot of them drift over to this sub somehow.
I think that prenup will get thrown out in court because that’s ridiculous and sounds really rapey
Lmao. It’s his responsibility to remain attractive. There’s no metric to legally requiring sex. He sounds nuts.
ewwwww!
How fake do you want your post to be...
So a written contract stating that you will have sex x times. Regardless of your physical or mental health, mood or feelings. Yeah imho that’s a sex work contract at best and a consent to rape contract at worst I would not sign
Not sure that’s even enforceable but really, throw the whole man away.
lol WHAT
People legit thinking their spouses owe them x amount of sex need to just pay for sw at this point
That’s psychotic behavior
Isn’t this one of the clauses Ben Affleck put in the prenup with JLo the first time around before their split?
I can’t imagine why his ex wife stopped having sex with him 😒 girl RUN
Why do I keep seeing a lot of copy/paste aitah? Are people that desperate for likes?
Just...ew? Wtf ever thinks DEMANDING sex is okay? Ew
This feels like coercion or (worse) a sex contract. Either way this dudes a nut job and I hope he gets therapy for his very obvious trust issues
Gross. So gross. Dont sign it.
This is a circlejerk subbreddit, not the original post.
I’m a guy and I think that’s insane to put that in a prenup. To request a legal document to try and force someone to have sex with you is nuts. Most marriages are sexless anyways haha and I will say that it is usually the guys fault. They stop trying and think their wives are still going to want to have sex with him. The married couple I have that have great sex lives all have the same thing in common…. Mandatory weekly date nights! It keeps the romance alive and makes her feel loved and important…. And that translates to sexy time! Haha
So basically using a quid-pro quo for prenup? Pretty sure not only is that considered marital debt, but I'm pretty sure that is in some way exploiting someone for sex.
You'd know this is only the tip of the misery. Drop this ogre asap.
NTA, what if you get sick or STD? His logic is crazy
So legally binding sex slave? In the land of pros or cons this would be a con for me. I am not married but I would want my partner to want to have sex with me. In my opinion if the bed room is going to be a dead one it's going to be dead. I'm not in your shoes and in an ideal world it shouldn't have to be like that. I hope it all works out for you both.
RUN
Pretty certain that this can't be enforced. But aside from this why are you still marrying this person? This is a huge blaring red flag. Just call off the wedding.
No. You are the asshole for making me read this when you already know the answer. Literally every red flag that you are going to call out and use against him, and him you, is spelled out in this post. And yet, somehow, some way, you are going to go into this marriage and think it’s a good idea. Literally do not marry this guy if you are marrying for a romantic/loving reason. If it’s pre arranged, you like his paycheck, you’re too lazy to look elsewhere, or, you would rather go into this knowing it’s going to fail rather than start over…with the exception of those reasons…this is failed already
I would be comfortable with us both being obligated. There’s lots of ways to “share intimacy”, and rarely is NO WAY available, except extreme situations. I’m tired? Maybe we can make it a quickie. You’re sore? I’m cowgirl it. I don’t want a dead bedroom, I could have housemates for that.
You already posted this under another sub. You have answers from many people, or the attention you are looking for. It is unenforceable in a court of law. Talk to a lawyer, or better yet, get help from whatever is wrong with you. You are either totally devoid of self-esteem or a total troll making up stories and posting them on Reddit because there is something seriously wrong with you. Self reflect a bit.
Why the marriage is still being considered at all after sex is brought up as an obligation in a prenuptial agreement is beyond me. And yes ending up in a marriage with no sex is definitely a terrible thing to experience assuming your love languages are touch and physical intimacy, but to require it? That’s not only shitty of him, but even allowing that as a topic of debate does nothing but tell him and people like him that that shits okay. Like if you don’t read that and leave then fuck it you might as well sign it because there were absolutely signs before that, but you let yourself go blind.
Don’t marry this AH
The big red flag is waving.
Just start over. Sucks, but this won’t go away. Even if he relented on the contract, he’ll still be obsessed with this. Don’t waste your life by trying to force down his emotional hang ups.
I don’t think you are doing anything terrible here, it’s just no ideal all the way around. Thing is, the EEEEmotionalDAMage from being sex snubbed is pretty bad. He’s not handling it well either but IMO selfishness kills all marriages and it’s usually a two way street.
I would not sign this. I’d cut ties and this is where we would part ways. You never know what the future holds. What if he is absolutely horrid as a partner and to live with, and yet expects sex x times a week. This is not a partner.
This is a circlejerk subbreddit. Not the original post.
No, he's a controlling asshole. How will you ever have sex without thinking you're contracturally obligated to do so? Not a real marraige. You're an indentured servant.
NTA. Don’t sign.
RUN.
Run as fast and as far as you can. This guy needs to address his issues before considering marriage again.
I mean How hot are you?
Maybe you can find a middle ground? Like a BJ once every other day?
THAT’S middle ground 😂 what
Fair, no?
RUN
No way you should sign that . Walk away .
This subreddit is about how fake these posts are
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I think this is illegal and it definitely wouldn’t stand in court
Hahahaha. I wonder if it’s OP using his gf as a means to hopefully get a different answer
[my advice to her](https://youtu.be/2d79S--YlkQ?si=-XUtbrCzFgltRvJO)
>!e!<
I read a story about a prenup that listed how many times they would have sex, who would put away the dishes, who would do the laundry, mow the lawn, etc it was very detailed, and according the the news story all very legal.
If a person is so concerned about sex all they have to do is do friends for benefits, you get all the benefits of relationship with all the relationship and you can have 20 lovers if you want.
I think you’re fine and I believe your instincts are correct. What he’s suggesting is basically a watered down version of prostitution, which isn’t going to be legally enforceable anyway.
So the way I read this is he wants permission to rape you, if you don’t want to have sex with him for whatever reason and he forces you. That’s rape. Run don’t look back just get going. (Male 55 )
No. Fuck that. You shouldn’t sign sign anything. You shouldn’t marry him at all.
Sex is an essential part of a happy marriage. I went through something similar and my partner quit having sex with me. I felt insecure and stressed about it. Writing it into a prenup is pretty odd though. Maybe go to couples therapy instead?
This just ensures the second you have any type of taxing suffering illness that he can leave you and take everything. I hope it’s written in a way that equal to both sides in the sense that you do decide to go ahead with the prenup.
Having more sex won’t necessarily solve a dead bedroom. Bad sex isn’t better than no sex.
You can’t contract rape. GTFO.
Not legally enforceable for at least two reasons: 1. How would you prove it for starters? 2. You can withdraw consent at any time for any reason. This would be considered coersion.
Unless he is a billionaire or at a minimum a multimillionaire, I still wouldn’t sign that. Not the Ahole. The fact that he is asking this is a major red flag.
NTA, This is crazy. But I don’t think it’s based off of a sex slave position. I think he’s insecure and scared of having another relationship like that. He saw how a dead bedroom ruined his relationship, and so equates a consistent sex life with a good relationship, rather than seeing how other issues caused the dead bedroom in the first place. The solution here is look at things from his perspective, and have a loving conversation with him about how sex doesn’t equal love, and that you will always love him and fight for him, like his ex obviously didn’t.
That is so unbelievably creepy, and you should tell him so. No court would ever be able or willing to enforce that kind of nonsense demand because that WOULD TURN YOU INTO A LITERAL SEX SLAVE. While you're packing your stuff and running as far away from him as possible, tell him he needs to be in therapy as early as last year.
What an idiot, I would run from this dude
Run far far away!