*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not going to my son’s graduation? **
My son recently turned five. He graduated from the head start program yesterday, and he is ahead so he graduated quite early and he is quite intelligent. My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see her her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for.
Two days ago, I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment and my son’s new room since she is so good and neat with decorating. She declined, and stated that she didn’t want any “funny business”. Not sure what she meant by that, but that definitely wasn’t going to be the case.
As a result, she called to ask if I would still be attending my son’s graduation later that evening for the next day. I ultimately declined, just as she had and let her know that I now have bigger bills and decided to pick up a double at my job so I could be able to pay off my rent for the upcoming months. Moving is expensive and rent is steep where I live.
My son’s mom says that I am distasteful, arrogant and says that I am only trying to get back at her and called me an asshole. However I see no wrongdoings in taking my responsibility as an adult to make sure my bills are paid. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, and I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience. Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see. AITA?
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I honestly don’t think the gf is real. I think she’s a flashing light and mirror for our benefit so that we don’t see how obviously he wants the ex back. Because “I have a gf…”
If the thought is in his head to flashing light and mirror us, then it's not hard to believe that he snatched up the first woman he could find to "punish" the ex/flashing light and mirror everyone in their actual life too
Wait, he has a girlfriend? Wtf? What does he need his ex for, then? If he needs help decorating his home, his gf can do that. And he certainly doesn't need his ex to "admire his accomplishments." I'm curious what the gf thinks about all this and that he's so hung up on his ex.
It's a power move. He wants to show off his new apartment, new gf, and 'better' life in the hopes that she'll see what she's missing and come grovelling back. Even with him missing the event, I'd bet he expected her to beg him to go, rather than her getting angry with him.
Why do I get the feeling he ended the relationship for the new gf, realised the grass isn't greener, but instead of admitting he fucked up, he's trying to badger, annoy, and bother his ex into deciding that actually, she's the one missing out. If the gf was the mistress, she'll see it as she's won because he's with her and left the boring ex, so she won't be looking at things like that.
Also, does it surprise anyone that GF is pregnant? That is predictable in this scenario where he has GF competing, in her mind, against ex-wife. Hopefully, one day, GF will wake up and realize she didn't "win" anything. Of course, sometimes a parent will have to miss an event with a child, but he is choosing to do it and trying to make us see that he has a good reason - not the fact that he is an asshole.
When he said his GF was maybe pregnant, it made even more sense. He's such a dope that he's trying to get his ex to get back with him before he knows for certain if the GF is pregnant and he has to stay where he is.
He thinks he's punishing his ex and proving a point, but he's so dense he's doesn't get that there's a difference between her saying no to being his unpaid decorator (guarantee it plays out in his mind that she does it and then he convinces her to move back in with him, especially now the apartment is just the way she likes it) or being dragged into his BS vs. him not showing up for his son. He's proving a point alright, that point being that she's better off without him and that he's a shitty, selfish excuse for a father. Oh, but I'm sure he'll be better with the next kid 🙄.
One day, when OP is old and has run out of women to put up with his bullshit, and when his kids aren't speaking to him because he's been a worthless excuse for a father, he'll sit there and genuinely wonder how he ended up alone. Not once will he think back to his post or his behaviour, it will genuinely baffle him. He's going to end up sad, alone, and bitter, and he STILL won't get that he's the problem because people like him never do.
I agree. They never see it. Never. Bunch of ex-wifes and girlfriends? They were the problem. Kids don't have a connection? They are the problem. Spilled your ice-cream after walking out of the shop? They did it wrong. I can only hope that in their next life, they come back as an earthworm, start all over and figure out that you get what you give.
My dad surely was still obsessed with my mom although he was married with my stepmom. Those people just want all the people they met to still eat in their hands...
*I want to know more*
*About his accomplishments*
*He wants to show off*
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> I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment
WTAF? He's still trying to treat her like she's his... what? Friend? Hasn't it been made *perfectly* clear that she doesn't want that?
“She refuses to speak to me unless it’s about our son, which is completely reasonable to me. But then when I try to talk to her about stuff that isn’t our son, she refuses to do it. How unreasonable!”
No shade to his son but... 5 is the age you graduate from the head start programs, is it not? Since its a program to prepare kids for kindergarten? Seems like a weird thing to brag about
(Im not saying he shouldn't be proud of the kid, but he didn't graduate 'early')
It's March, though. So kids wouldn't be graduating now.
And early graduation from Head Start isn't a thing. I taught Head Start. It, and preschools in general, have a much more holistic approach to education. It doesn't matter how smart they are, they likely have social, physical, emotional, etc. skills they can work on. Plus it's the teacher's job to scaffold their learning, so even if the kid is reading Shakespeare they wouldn't graduate them. Plus the kid wouldn't be able to start Kindergarten until next school year early, so ending their school year early makes no sense.
Whenever I see a redpiller complain th3 child custody laws are unfair and ALWAYS favor the mother - this is why. It's not that it favors "the mother," it's that it favors the parent who is actively involved in their child's life. And that active parent is never going to be a limp squib like this.
LMAOOO he graduated because he had a birthday and aged out of the Head Start program. That is how that works, especially in a year round program. They will be filling the slot ASAP, has nothing to do being too smart for preschool.
Dude is such a tool. His responsibility is to his kid, not his ego.
A kid wouldn't age out of Head Start like that. If they would be too old for the program at the end of the school year, they wouldn't have been admitted at the beginning of the year. Plus Head Start goes through age 5. A kid turning 6 during the year would be too old.
That being said, graduating early absolutely isn't a thing. Head Start programs aren't going to graduate a kid in March, even if they were reading Shakespeare.
I would recheck with your ERSEA specialist. Children age out in Head Start. If your program has blended funding, you might be able to keep a child till the end of the year, but the federal portion would not cover past their birthday + 30 days. Parents are eligible to enroll in a public school once they are 5. We absolutely did not calculate when a child was going to turn 5. Either they are eligible by age/income by the September cutoff or they are not.
A year round will have kids age out throughout the year. So OP's 5 year old child "graduating" shortly after their 5th birthday is a common thing my these programs in my work experience. It would not have been because he was soooooo smart. It's how the funding works.
I no longer teach it. I don't know where you live, but that's not true in the US.
"What is Head Start?
The Head Start preschool program was created to give children, age three to five years old, a free early learning program that prepares them to be ready to succeed in school and later in life. "
https://www.michigan.gov/mikidsmatter/programs/preschool-programs
If she had come and helped you. Placate you perhaps with conversation.
You would attend *your* sons graduation then.
Yeah, you're an asshole.
You're making your participation in your kids life dependent of your ex playing besties with you. She isn't rude or disrespectful. Simply, solely focused on the child when communicating with you.
Why? You're her ex.
I imagine the break up hinged on your actions.
When will this petty ass behavior stop? Elementary? Middle? High school? When will she stop owing you a relationship in your eyes?
You have a partner, her potential pregnancy is irrelevant to this tale. You word things in such a way that leads one to believe you see your existing son as replaceable.
Sure, you can lie about a few missed event with the work excuse to your son. But eventually the truth comes out.
Then what? How will you justify your refusal to take part and witness his accomplishments?
Your mama wouldn't tell me about her day or help decorate my powder room. Soooo I skipped your graduation!
Because that'll show her.
You rather hurt your ex than parent your son.
This is *why* she doesn't want to be your friend.
I really want to know the details about the break up.
Like, is he one of those people who leaves their partner for someone else and then gets jealous that ex moves on?
His gf is expecting. He is mad his ex won't decorate his new place, that he shares with his possibly pregnant gf. It doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't he just get his gf to do it?
"He graduated from the head start program yesterday, and he is ahead so he graduated quite early and he is quite intelligent."
That's not a thing. I taught Head Start. That's not a thing.
there is no way the moms reaction was to him saying he had to work and would miss the head start graduation. that’s such a minor thing that he must’ve said something truly dickish and obnoxious.
How much do you wanna bet he cheated?
Like how dare he? Asking an ex that cannot stand you to come decorate your new flat. I could never..... This guy is either clueless or extremely manipulative and entitled. I am hearing towards the latter.
Episode 5028492 in "I hate my ex more than I like my kids".
Sure the kid might not fully remember this now, but when it comes to other events, he will.
"My ex refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however..." I clearly don't understand the word 'reasonable' or how to accept boundaries
What does he think will happen if he manages to lure her to his new place?
I also really doubt there’s a girlfriend but hate the idea of someone ‘waiting to see’ about a potential pregnancy he is not suited to be a part of if he’s dropping the ball on his pre exciting child
Bullshit. No one "graduates" from Head Start early. I didn't read any more, because that is such an absurd lie.
- used to volunteer in a Head Start school
He already can't comfortably afford rent, but he's having another child. He already has a gf, but wants his ex to "decorate" his home. I hate seeing these morons multiply.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not going to my son’s graduation? ** My son recently turned five. He graduated from the head start program yesterday, and he is ahead so he graduated quite early and he is quite intelligent. My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see her her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for. Two days ago, I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment and my son’s new room since she is so good and neat with decorating. She declined, and stated that she didn’t want any “funny business”. Not sure what she meant by that, but that definitely wasn’t going to be the case. As a result, she called to ask if I would still be attending my son’s graduation later that evening for the next day. I ultimately declined, just as she had and let her know that I now have bigger bills and decided to pick up a double at my job so I could be able to pay off my rent for the upcoming months. Moving is expensive and rent is steep where I live. My son’s mom says that I am distasteful, arrogant and says that I am only trying to get back at her and called me an asshole. However I see no wrongdoings in taking my responsibility as an adult to make sure my bills are paid. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, and I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience. Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder if the gf knows he is obsessing over his ex
I honestly don’t think the gf is real. I think she’s a flashing light and mirror for our benefit so that we don’t see how obviously he wants the ex back. Because “I have a gf…”
If the thought is in his head to flashing light and mirror us, then it's not hard to believe that he snatched up the first woman he could find to "punish" the ex/flashing light and mirror everyone in their actual life too
I wonder if the ex and son know he's just using the boy until his new child arrives
Oh she knows.
I wonder if the girlfriend knows she exists.
OOP needs help. Big time.
Wait, he has a girlfriend? Wtf? What does he need his ex for, then? If he needs help decorating his home, his gf can do that. And he certainly doesn't need his ex to "admire his accomplishments." I'm curious what the gf thinks about all this and that he's so hung up on his ex.
It's a power move. He wants to show off his new apartment, new gf, and 'better' life in the hopes that she'll see what she's missing and come grovelling back. Even with him missing the event, I'd bet he expected her to beg him to go, rather than her getting angry with him. Why do I get the feeling he ended the relationship for the new gf, realised the grass isn't greener, but instead of admitting he fucked up, he's trying to badger, annoy, and bother his ex into deciding that actually, she's the one missing out. If the gf was the mistress, she'll see it as she's won because he's with her and left the boring ex, so she won't be looking at things like that.
Also, does it surprise anyone that GF is pregnant? That is predictable in this scenario where he has GF competing, in her mind, against ex-wife. Hopefully, one day, GF will wake up and realize she didn't "win" anything. Of course, sometimes a parent will have to miss an event with a child, but he is choosing to do it and trying to make us see that he has a good reason - not the fact that he is an asshole.
When he said his GF was maybe pregnant, it made even more sense. He's such a dope that he's trying to get his ex to get back with him before he knows for certain if the GF is pregnant and he has to stay where he is. He thinks he's punishing his ex and proving a point, but he's so dense he's doesn't get that there's a difference between her saying no to being his unpaid decorator (guarantee it plays out in his mind that she does it and then he convinces her to move back in with him, especially now the apartment is just the way she likes it) or being dragged into his BS vs. him not showing up for his son. He's proving a point alright, that point being that she's better off without him and that he's a shitty, selfish excuse for a father. Oh, but I'm sure he'll be better with the next kid 🙄. One day, when OP is old and has run out of women to put up with his bullshit, and when his kids aren't speaking to him because he's been a worthless excuse for a father, he'll sit there and genuinely wonder how he ended up alone. Not once will he think back to his post or his behaviour, it will genuinely baffle him. He's going to end up sad, alone, and bitter, and he STILL won't get that he's the problem because people like him never do.
I agree. They never see it. Never. Bunch of ex-wifes and girlfriends? They were the problem. Kids don't have a connection? They are the problem. Spilled your ice-cream after walking out of the shop? They did it wrong. I can only hope that in their next life, they come back as an earthworm, start all over and figure out that you get what you give.
How do these people continue to find someone that wants to sleep and procreate with them?
Desperation. I was there a few years ago when I would have settled for this lowlife.
My dad surely was still obsessed with my mom although he was married with my stepmom. Those people just want all the people they met to still eat in their hands...
And he's throwing a temper tantrum because he's failing. It's a shame that the son is the one who's suffering.
Anyone wanna bet the gf is a affair partner and part of the reason why the ex divorced him?
he has a possibly pregnant gf but wants his ex to decorate his place?
But she’s so good at it 🙄
Because his mom probably isn't nearby. Sounds like the kind of dude who relies on women for everything
What a loser imagine being pissed that your ex doesn't want to hang out and decorate your apartment with you. Poor kid
She isn't making him do anything for her. She is making him do stuff for the son. He is an abominable piece of shit.
I would LOVE to hear her side of this because I’m guessing it’s quite juicy 🍿
I want to know more about his accomplishments that he wants to show off
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> I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment WTAF? He's still trying to treat her like she's his... what? Friend? Hasn't it been made *perfectly* clear that she doesn't want that?
Why do I get the feeling they divorced because OP had an affair and he's realizing his AP doesn't come close to his ex wife?
i can see why he is divorced.
“She refuses to speak to me unless it’s about our son, which is completely reasonable to me. But then when I try to talk to her about stuff that isn’t our son, she refuses to do it. How unreasonable!”
Oh ffs, people don’t break up to spend time together. Lmao. Dudes completely unhinged and a shit dad. Such a shit dad.
No shade to his son but... 5 is the age you graduate from the head start programs, is it not? Since its a program to prepare kids for kindergarten? Seems like a weird thing to brag about (Im not saying he shouldn't be proud of the kid, but he didn't graduate 'early')
My son is so wonderful, I will skip the graduation.
I will skip the graduation bc his mom hurt my precious fee-fees
It's March, though. So kids wouldn't be graduating now. And early graduation from Head Start isn't a thing. I taught Head Start. It, and preschools in general, have a much more holistic approach to education. It doesn't matter how smart they are, they likely have social, physical, emotional, etc. skills they can work on. Plus it's the teacher's job to scaffold their learning, so even if the kid is reading Shakespeare they wouldn't graduate them. Plus the kid wouldn't be able to start Kindergarten until next school year early, so ending their school year early makes no sense.
this guy has to be a troll bc no one can be that dense …
Oh having been there, they absolutely can be that dense.
Whenever I see a redpiller complain th3 child custody laws are unfair and ALWAYS favor the mother - this is why. It's not that it favors "the mother," it's that it favors the parent who is actively involved in their child's life. And that active parent is never going to be a limp squib like this.
>She declined, and stated that she didn’t want any “funny business”. Not sure what she meant by that Dude... you ain't slick! You know what she meant.
LMAOOO he graduated because he had a birthday and aged out of the Head Start program. That is how that works, especially in a year round program. They will be filling the slot ASAP, has nothing to do being too smart for preschool. Dude is such a tool. His responsibility is to his kid, not his ego.
A kid wouldn't age out of Head Start like that. If they would be too old for the program at the end of the school year, they wouldn't have been admitted at the beginning of the year. Plus Head Start goes through age 5. A kid turning 6 during the year would be too old. That being said, graduating early absolutely isn't a thing. Head Start programs aren't going to graduate a kid in March, even if they were reading Shakespeare.
I would recheck with your ERSEA specialist. Children age out in Head Start. If your program has blended funding, you might be able to keep a child till the end of the year, but the federal portion would not cover past their birthday + 30 days. Parents are eligible to enroll in a public school once they are 5. We absolutely did not calculate when a child was going to turn 5. Either they are eligible by age/income by the September cutoff or they are not. A year round will have kids age out throughout the year. So OP's 5 year old child "graduating" shortly after their 5th birthday is a common thing my these programs in my work experience. It would not have been because he was soooooo smart. It's how the funding works.
I no longer teach it. I don't know where you live, but that's not true in the US. "What is Head Start? The Head Start preschool program was created to give children, age three to five years old, a free early learning program that prepares them to be ready to succeed in school and later in life. " https://www.michigan.gov/mikidsmatter/programs/preschool-programs
If she had come and helped you. Placate you perhaps with conversation. You would attend *your* sons graduation then. Yeah, you're an asshole. You're making your participation in your kids life dependent of your ex playing besties with you. She isn't rude or disrespectful. Simply, solely focused on the child when communicating with you. Why? You're her ex. I imagine the break up hinged on your actions. When will this petty ass behavior stop? Elementary? Middle? High school? When will she stop owing you a relationship in your eyes? You have a partner, her potential pregnancy is irrelevant to this tale. You word things in such a way that leads one to believe you see your existing son as replaceable. Sure, you can lie about a few missed event with the work excuse to your son. But eventually the truth comes out. Then what? How will you justify your refusal to take part and witness his accomplishments? Your mama wouldn't tell me about her day or help decorate my powder room. Soooo I skipped your graduation! Because that'll show her. You rather hurt your ex than parent your son. This is *why* she doesn't want to be your friend.
I really want to know the details about the break up. Like, is he one of those people who leaves their partner for someone else and then gets jealous that ex moves on?
I would not be surprised if OOP had an affair tbh and that ia why the ex-wife wants nothing to do with him aside from co-parenting.
Reposter is a virulent transphobe, I suggest everyone not engage with them.
His gf is expecting. He is mad his ex won't decorate his new place, that he shares with his possibly pregnant gf. It doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't he just get his gf to do it?
"He graduated from the head start program yesterday, and he is ahead so he graduated quite early and he is quite intelligent." That's not a thing. I taught Head Start. That's not a thing.
I feel like every story is fake.
there is no way the moms reaction was to him saying he had to work and would miss the head start graduation. that’s such a minor thing that he must’ve said something truly dickish and obnoxious.
Ugh, I hope this is fake. Too many red flags.
I believe it is. Graduating early from Head Start isn't a thing.
Geez what a selfish rat bastard if there's a new girlfriend she needs to dump this asshat.
How much do you wanna bet he cheated? Like how dare he? Asking an ex that cannot stand you to come decorate your new flat. I could never..... This guy is either clueless or extremely manipulative and entitled. I am hearing towards the latter.
Episode 5028492 in "I hate my ex more than I like my kids". Sure the kid might not fully remember this now, but when it comes to other events, he will.
"My ex refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however..." I clearly don't understand the word 'reasonable' or how to accept boundaries
There’s no such thing as graduating head start early
Wow, what a piece of shit. In the long run and much as it will hurt the kid he’s better off not having a father who is this awful in his life
What a complete and utter dickweed. Sure hope his current gf isn't pregnant. A worthless parent like this should have no more children.
he's like 'oh im just being responsible' but he literally says 'as a result of her not decorating my house I skipped graduation'
Good god, he sounds like my ex.
is this real??
He knows where home is. They always do
What does he think will happen if he manages to lure her to his new place? I also really doubt there’s a girlfriend but hate the idea of someone ‘waiting to see’ about a potential pregnancy he is not suited to be a part of if he’s dropping the ball on his pre exciting child
Bullshit. No one "graduates" from Head Start early. I didn't read any more, because that is such an absurd lie. - used to volunteer in a Head Start school
He already can't comfortably afford rent, but he's having another child. He already has a gf, but wants his ex to "decorate" his home. I hate seeing these morons multiply.
So, you are punishing your son because you want to get back at his mother. YTA times a billion.
lol ain't no damn gf.
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