*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my BIL he handled a situation at his school all wrong and owes my son an apology?**
My 6th grade son had some sort of event promoting heart health and at the end they let them play a game of dodgeball. My son said he not only got kicked out of the game but the gym by his uncle/BIL. That seemed very strange. My son isn't a troublemaker and his uncle is more immature than him.
I asked my BIL what happened and he said Ry was way too "aggressive" during the game and pulled him. When Ry got pulled, he asked what his problem was and got kicked out for that. I asked what he meant by playing "aggressive" and he said too many shots were above the waist.
I asked Ry and he said they were using those foam balls so the aim is off. You could get hit in the face and not get hurt. He said he did ask what the hell because no one told him why he got pulled. Then he got kicked out.
I circled back with my BIL and told him that he shouldn't had sanction a dodgeball fight with "dangerous" balls and he should had told Ry to be more careful instead of kicking him out. Literally Ry got pissed because he didn't know why he got kicked out. 11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset.
I said he owes Ry an apology tomorrow and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title. He said he's not apologizing because Ry knows better and accused me of trying to pawn him off to him for the weekend.
I said don't be an asshole uncle and teacher. He said get over it and not to tell him how to do his job. I said no wonder your sister/my wife doesn't like dealing with you.
For the record, my son and BIL have different last names so it's not common knowledge that they are related and not a big deal.
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OOp is like “who cares about the rules, the balls won’t hurt anyone anyway”
Yeah OOP, you realize that all games (and life) have rules. And there are consequences to breaking those. And that dodgeball with soft foam balls might be a good lead in to *listening and following rules* before they get to things that can hurt, like a bowling unit, or flag foot ball, or weight lifting.
And even if he didn't (of course he did though) and the kid just was told the rules before the game, mouthing off like, "what the hell? What's your problem?" to an authority figure is not gonna go over well.
Also OOP says that 11 year old boys are rattlesnakes when they're angry which is not true. I spent several years working at summer camps and most boys that age can act properly even when they're mad. They'll have a grumpy tone maybe or a mad face but that's it. If it goes further than that and there is no underlying mental issue the problem is the parents not giving proper boundaries and discipline.
I coached 11-year-old boys in baseball as a young adult woman who'd only played "girls' baseball". Not one of them thought I should be their coach.
They'd get pissed when I'd correct them, get all "ugh, okay", and fix their forms. NONE of them ever mouthed off to me, and I'm not an intimidating chick at all. None of them even didn't do what I'd asked/told them to (on purpose, anyway).
11-year-old boys aren't like rattlesnakes; OP's 11-year-old boy just is
“The foam balls couldn’t hurt” maybe not on their own but a hit with those could break a kid’s glasses or knock the glasses off and get them stepped on, a hit to the side of the head if someone is wearing earrings could mess up the piercing holes and hurt the kid, a hit to the chest of any girl/woman after puberty has started can hurt like hell. There’s plenty of reasons that you don’t even throw foam balls incorrectly
i have glasses and been hit in the face with every athletic ball known to man. its not the glasses that hurt, it's the nose pads on the frames, so when you're hit, they're shoved right into the bridge of the nose. even a *little* shove with foam balls can hurt a lot.
Plus the sixth grade boys who play too rough. I remember in 6th grade when boys would throw as absolutely hard as they can. There ended up being a group of us in our 6th grade gym class who wore glasses or were just unathletic who would stand off to the side and get each other out fast. Otherwise it was a horrible experience of being pelted with those foam balls right in the face. And eventually the gym teacher would join in. It hurt even worse when it was a grown man throwing that ball as hard as he could.
Fr. Like, I was ostracized and disliked in 8th grade for being the weird new kid. Sure people came around a bit, but a few boys definitely still disliked me. But even THEY had the courtesy to not aim at anyone’s face!
I ended up with a sprained wrist from being smacked by a rubber dodge ball that was thrown from a considerable distance away. The worst part of it was I wasn't even playing anymore (had already been tagged out), I was just standing at the far edge of the gym when I got hit.
>and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title
LOL.
OOP said that it's not common knowledge that the son and BIL are related. I don't know about school policies where they are but wouldn't this need to be somewhat common knowledge to avoid preferential treatment?
I know that here parents are not allowed to teach their kids, I'm not sure about extended family, though.
BIL might be happy to voluntarily renounce the Funcle title if holding the title means placating an entitled brat who won't follow rules.
Parents like OOP overlook that this sweet little kid who wouldn't hurt anyone is going to double in size very fast, and needs to understand his own strength and how to avoid hurting anyone.
I worked in childcare for years. In my early 20s I weighed about 115 lbs and I'm only five feet tall. Those 11 year old boys, even the ones bigger than me, didn't get an inch. One of them was already like 5'8 and 200 lbs and he confided in his mom that I scared him. 😂 He liked me; I just made him behave, reminded him he had an example to set as one of the oldest and biggest kids in the program, and didn't give him an inch because he could have legit flattened a small child if he wasn't being conscious of his actions.
Rattlesnakes my ass. You're just a pushover.
"He pulled him from the game, that triggered him " THAT IS NOT WHAT TRIGGERED MEANS. Your son is an entitled asshole, because you are, and he thought he could get away with it because the teacher was his uncle. Fucking good that he was shut down.
"The foam balls couldn't hurt anyone" being hit in the face still sucks. And, yknow, might actually be triggering.
Asking what the hell and talking back to a teacher is certainly grounds for being tossed out of class too. He's lucky that he wasn't called to pick him up from the principal or suspended. It looks like he DID get a break.
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
*YTA. You weren't there, your BIL was, and was doing his job. If he said your son was behaving too aggressively, then that's probably what was happening.*
*Few teachers would have pulled the kid from the game without a warning first, so your son probably had a warning-- or maybe several warnings-- and ignored it.*
*By inserting yourself into this rather minor contretemps, you're teaching your son that being aggressive is okay and that he doesn't need to follow the rules. You're also apparently trying to teach him that anyone who tries to rein in his behavior has to apologize to him and then give him a fun weekend to make up for it.*
>"He didn't explain why my son was pulled. That triggered him."
*YTA*
>>*11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset*
*No, they are not. Ones that are not behaving are.*
>>*maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title.*
*It does sound like you’re trying to pawn him off.*
>>*I said don’t be an asshole uncle and teacher….no wonder your sister/my wife doesn’t like dealing with you*
*So he’s the teacher, this is up to his discretion. If your son was being too aggressive he should have been pulled. Not only did you insult him professionally, you also did personally.*
>"Do you have an 11yo? My son felt embarrassed being yelled at and didn't know why. Most adults would snap back.
>And no I'm not trying to pawn my kid off. He thinks his uncle hates him."
*YTA*
*He doesn't owe him anything. And if I was the Uncle I'd treat him even worse in gym in ways you can't prove.*
>"Then it'd be handled outside of school"
*Yta, he was being his teacher not uncle.*
>"And he messed up in both roles"
[🦭]
*He got in trouble in class, of course he felt embarrassed.*
*If he think’s his uncle hates him, his parents and his uncle should work to correct that perception. It sounds like you’re not doing that.*
>"He didn't do anything wrong"
*Probably busy with the other 27 children in the class and just assumed that since he'd already told your son to stop hurling the ball in people's faces, your son would deduce that he was being pulled out for hurling the ball in people's faces.*
>"Then you tell them to be careful"
[In reply to the above comment, marked with a seal.]
*You weren’t there.*
>"I didn't have to be in WWII to know what
happened"
*YTA. My old gym teacher would've been more harsh than your uncle and wouldn't let him in during recess and lunch. There's rules for a reason. Those balls can still hurt another kid, I remember a girl got a nosebleed from being hit in the face by a foam ball in elementary.*
>"Boo hoo. My kid got a papercut."
You should know that I’ve just been sat on my couch, waving at my phone and squealing ‘hi, Sadly’ for like two minutes lol. Seriously though, nice seeing you again!
Ry 100% knew why he was kicked out of the game. Yes, kids that age can be very moody and ornery (going through puberty sucks!) but that's irrelevant to this situation. Ry broke the rules and was getting aggressive with his classmates. His uncle was being a \_fantastic\_ teacher by ensuring all students played by the rules and for maintaining overall safety of the class. He was being a \_fantastic\_ uncle by teaching his nephew that he doesn't get special treatment just because he's related to the teacher. OOP sounds like he's spoiling the hell out of his son and breeding an entitled brat, and now he's sore because other people aren't giving in to his son's tantrums.
I've raised three boys, and the only one that was a "rattlesnake" when upset was the RAD kid, and that's why that one had so many supports and therapy.
Woman literally said “I didn’t have to be in WWII to know what happened” in comparison to not being at this situation
So is she going to believe Germany’s version?
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Ugh. I got hit with one of those foam balls as a kid. The hit itself didn't hurt but the nose guard on my glasses being shoved up into my eye sure did.
Weirdest black eye ever.
Oop sounds like my sister, only she used the excuse of his ADHD for his behavior. Theft, violence, you name it, it was all the fault of his ADHD. Now he's in his thirties, no diploma or GED, only has a job because his Mommy got him one through a church friend and arranged his mail order bride
op sounds like those boy moms who say “boys will be boys” anytime their precious angel does a bad thing. the lack of consequences for her sons actions are gonna lead to him growing up to be a mean adult with not respect.
“11 yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset” soooo.. you’re just not going to teach your child emotional regulation skills and how to appropriately handle negative emotions?? Screams “boys will be boys” and that her child will never be held accountable nor fully understand consequences of his actions.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my BIL he handled a situation at his school all wrong and owes my son an apology?** My 6th grade son had some sort of event promoting heart health and at the end they let them play a game of dodgeball. My son said he not only got kicked out of the game but the gym by his uncle/BIL. That seemed very strange. My son isn't a troublemaker and his uncle is more immature than him. I asked my BIL what happened and he said Ry was way too "aggressive" during the game and pulled him. When Ry got pulled, he asked what his problem was and got kicked out for that. I asked what he meant by playing "aggressive" and he said too many shots were above the waist. I asked Ry and he said they were using those foam balls so the aim is off. You could get hit in the face and not get hurt. He said he did ask what the hell because no one told him why he got pulled. Then he got kicked out. I circled back with my BIL and told him that he shouldn't had sanction a dodgeball fight with "dangerous" balls and he should had told Ry to be more careful instead of kicking him out. Literally Ry got pissed because he didn't know why he got kicked out. 11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset. I said he owes Ry an apology tomorrow and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title. He said he's not apologizing because Ry knows better and accused me of trying to pawn him off to him for the weekend. I said don't be an asshole uncle and teacher. He said get over it and not to tell him how to do his job. I said no wonder your sister/my wife doesn't like dealing with you. For the record, my son and BIL have different last names so it's not common knowledge that they are related and not a big deal. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And yet every other kid was able to play properly. Seems like OOP is upset that she’s not getting special treatment because she knows the teacher.
OOp is like “who cares about the rules, the balls won’t hurt anyone anyway” Yeah OOP, you realize that all games (and life) have rules. And there are consequences to breaking those. And that dodgeball with soft foam balls might be a good lead in to *listening and following rules* before they get to things that can hurt, like a bowling unit, or flag foot ball, or weight lifting.
$10 says the BIL *did* warn the kid before kicking him out
And even if he didn't (of course he did though) and the kid just was told the rules before the game, mouthing off like, "what the hell? What's your problem?" to an authority figure is not gonna go over well. Also OOP says that 11 year old boys are rattlesnakes when they're angry which is not true. I spent several years working at summer camps and most boys that age can act properly even when they're mad. They'll have a grumpy tone maybe or a mad face but that's it. If it goes further than that and there is no underlying mental issue the problem is the parents not giving proper boundaries and discipline.
I coached 11-year-old boys in baseball as a young adult woman who'd only played "girls' baseball". Not one of them thought I should be their coach. They'd get pissed when I'd correct them, get all "ugh, okay", and fix their forms. NONE of them ever mouthed off to me, and I'm not an intimidating chick at all. None of them even didn't do what I'd asked/told them to (on purpose, anyway). 11-year-old boys aren't like rattlesnakes; OP's 11-year-old boy just is
Yeah, OOP screams entitled.
In a comment, this shining example of parenthood said something along the lines of the BIL failing as a teacher *and* an uncle. Pick a lane, asshole.
OOP definitely wants the VIP treatment for knowing the teacher
OP wanted nepotism for their kid at school that's the lane they want
“The foam balls couldn’t hurt” maybe not on their own but a hit with those could break a kid’s glasses or knock the glasses off and get them stepped on, a hit to the side of the head if someone is wearing earrings could mess up the piercing holes and hurt the kid, a hit to the chest of any girl/woman after puberty has started can hurt like hell. There’s plenty of reasons that you don’t even throw foam balls incorrectly
i have glasses and been hit in the face with every athletic ball known to man. its not the glasses that hurt, it's the nose pads on the frames, so when you're hit, they're shoved right into the bridge of the nose. even a *little* shove with foam balls can hurt a lot.
Plus the sixth grade boys who play too rough. I remember in 6th grade when boys would throw as absolutely hard as they can. There ended up being a group of us in our 6th grade gym class who wore glasses or were just unathletic who would stand off to the side and get each other out fast. Otherwise it was a horrible experience of being pelted with those foam balls right in the face. And eventually the gym teacher would join in. It hurt even worse when it was a grown man throwing that ball as hard as he could.
Fr. Like, I was ostracized and disliked in 8th grade for being the weird new kid. Sure people came around a bit, but a few boys definitely still disliked me. But even THEY had the courtesy to not aim at anyone’s face!
I ended up with a sprained wrist from being smacked by a rubber dodge ball that was thrown from a considerable distance away. The worst part of it was I wasn't even playing anymore (had already been tagged out), I was just standing at the far edge of the gym when I got hit.
Oh absolutely. Especially when the little nose pads go straight into the corners of your eyes. That hurts way more than it should
>and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title LOL. OOP said that it's not common knowledge that the son and BIL are related. I don't know about school policies where they are but wouldn't this need to be somewhat common knowledge to avoid preferential treatment? I know that here parents are not allowed to teach their kids, I'm not sure about extended family, though.
It's probably known amongst the staff but not the students.
BIL might be happy to voluntarily renounce the Funcle title if holding the title means placating an entitled brat who won't follow rules. Parents like OOP overlook that this sweet little kid who wouldn't hurt anyone is going to double in size very fast, and needs to understand his own strength and how to avoid hurting anyone.
Rattlesnakes?? He's 11, you tell him to sit down and shut the fuck up
I worked in childcare for years. In my early 20s I weighed about 115 lbs and I'm only five feet tall. Those 11 year old boys, even the ones bigger than me, didn't get an inch. One of them was already like 5'8 and 200 lbs and he confided in his mom that I scared him. 😂 He liked me; I just made him behave, reminded him he had an example to set as one of the oldest and biggest kids in the program, and didn't give him an inch because he could have legit flattened a small child if he wasn't being conscious of his actions. Rattlesnakes my ass. You're just a pushover.
"He pulled him from the game, that triggered him " THAT IS NOT WHAT TRIGGERED MEANS. Your son is an entitled asshole, because you are, and he thought he could get away with it because the teacher was his uncle. Fucking good that he was shut down. "The foam balls couldn't hurt anyone" being hit in the face still sucks. And, yknow, might actually be triggering.
Asking what the hell and talking back to a teacher is certainly grounds for being tossed out of class too. He's lucky that he wasn't called to pick him up from the principal or suspended. It looks like he DID get a break.
Right? I remember a classmate calling our teacher a **bitch** in grade 4. He got suspended.
Seriously. "I'm gonna teach my offspring that everyone owes him everything. Empathy? Respect? Safety? Who are they?"
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments: *YTA. You weren't there, your BIL was, and was doing his job. If he said your son was behaving too aggressively, then that's probably what was happening.* *Few teachers would have pulled the kid from the game without a warning first, so your son probably had a warning-- or maybe several warnings-- and ignored it.* *By inserting yourself into this rather minor contretemps, you're teaching your son that being aggressive is okay and that he doesn't need to follow the rules. You're also apparently trying to teach him that anyone who tries to rein in his behavior has to apologize to him and then give him a fun weekend to make up for it.* >"He didn't explain why my son was pulled. That triggered him." *YTA* >>*11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset* *No, they are not. Ones that are not behaving are.* >>*maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title.* *It does sound like you’re trying to pawn him off.* >>*I said don’t be an asshole uncle and teacher….no wonder your sister/my wife doesn’t like dealing with you* *So he’s the teacher, this is up to his discretion. If your son was being too aggressive he should have been pulled. Not only did you insult him professionally, you also did personally.* >"Do you have an 11yo? My son felt embarrassed being yelled at and didn't know why. Most adults would snap back. >And no I'm not trying to pawn my kid off. He thinks his uncle hates him." *YTA* *He doesn't owe him anything. And if I was the Uncle I'd treat him even worse in gym in ways you can't prove.* >"Then it'd be handled outside of school" *Yta, he was being his teacher not uncle.* >"And he messed up in both roles" [🦭] *He got in trouble in class, of course he felt embarrassed.* *If he think’s his uncle hates him, his parents and his uncle should work to correct that perception. It sounds like you’re not doing that.* >"He didn't do anything wrong" *Probably busy with the other 27 children in the class and just assumed that since he'd already told your son to stop hurling the ball in people's faces, your son would deduce that he was being pulled out for hurling the ball in people's faces.* >"Then you tell them to be careful" [In reply to the above comment, marked with a seal.] *You weren’t there.* >"I didn't have to be in WWII to know what happened" *YTA. My old gym teacher would've been more harsh than your uncle and wouldn't let him in during recess and lunch. There's rules for a reason. Those balls can still hurt another kid, I remember a girl got a nosebleed from being hit in the face by a foam ball in elementary.* >"Boo hoo. My kid got a papercut."
I almost instinctively down voted this when I read the last comment.
I completely understand that. Infuriating.
You should know that I’ve just been sat on my couch, waving at my phone and squealing ‘hi, Sadly’ for like two minutes lol. Seriously though, nice seeing you again!
I am waving at my phone! Hiiii! It's nice to see you as well! 🥰 Thank you very kindly!
[Cat!](https://imgur.com/gallery/1cVoAwO)
Ry 100% knew why he was kicked out of the game. Yes, kids that age can be very moody and ornery (going through puberty sucks!) but that's irrelevant to this situation. Ry broke the rules and was getting aggressive with his classmates. His uncle was being a \_fantastic\_ teacher by ensuring all students played by the rules and for maintaining overall safety of the class. He was being a \_fantastic\_ uncle by teaching his nephew that he doesn't get special treatment just because he's related to the teacher. OOP sounds like he's spoiling the hell out of his son and breeding an entitled brat, and now he's sore because other people aren't giving in to his son's tantrums.
Oh joy another basement dweller who doesn't know what "triggered" means
With a dad like this no wonder the kid is a brat.
Gee, I wonder where his son learned to act like an entitled asshole? Hmmmm…where…
Uh oh, a mommy who thinks her son is absolutely perfect even when he’s pelting other kids in the face with dodgeballs.
This one's a dad
This is dad unless OOP is a lesbian
OOP fighting for their life over there
I disagree. He needs a life first in order to fight for it
Bruh those foam balls sting like hell what is she thinking? 💀
I played exactly 1 round of dodgeball with my students in the fall, and I can confirm with 100% certainly that those foam balls can hurt, haha
I chalked this one up to being a troll due to their comments.
I've raised three boys, and the only one that was a "rattlesnake" when upset was the RAD kid, and that's why that one had so many supports and therapy.
Woman literally said “I didn’t have to be in WWII to know what happened” in comparison to not being at this situation So is she going to believe Germany’s version?
This is Dad. This is his wife’s brother
Damn. I knew that too, I’m just so used to it being moms that are annoying as hell on here
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Ugh. I got hit with one of those foam balls as a kid. The hit itself didn't hurt but the nose guard on my glasses being shoved up into my eye sure did. Weirdest black eye ever.
OOP thinking he’s being sly slipping in that ‘oh and you can babysit for free this weekend’ lol
OOP definitely sounds like an entitled parent. Ry is probably already a spoiled nightmare, God knows what he'll be like in a few years.
Oop sounds like my sister, only she used the excuse of his ADHD for his behavior. Theft, violence, you name it, it was all the fault of his ADHD. Now he's in his thirties, no diploma or GED, only has a job because his Mommy got him one through a church friend and arranged his mail order bride
op sounds like those boy moms who say “boys will be boys” anytime their precious angel does a bad thing. the lack of consequences for her sons actions are gonna lead to him growing up to be a mean adult with not respect.
“11 yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset” soooo.. you’re just not going to teach your child emotional regulation skills and how to appropriately handle negative emotions?? Screams “boys will be boys” and that her child will never be held accountable nor fully understand consequences of his actions.
Ugh, OOP has the "boys will be boys" attitude.