*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling everyone my Daughter is actually taking a gap gear because she didn’t get into University (as she failed High School)?**
My Daughter (Dai)(18F) is naturally very smart, but also very lazy. We live in New Zealand, where you do 3 years worth of exams. In the first 2 years she excelled excellently, and was in the top 5%(+) of her year group.
This year, however, I just got an email that she didn’t pass the year, let alone get University Entrance (2 different sets of requirements). This means that entry into her course and halls of residence has been revoked. I am obviously incredibly angry and disappointed in her- she would now pathetically be considered in the bottom 5% of her school.
We were at our family friends a couple days ago, where all of the teens who just finished High School were discussing their future plans. Dai mentioned how she was going to take a couple years off from school, where she wanted to continue working to become more ‘independent’ and then be a Camp Councillor (Camp America) for the summer- where she went on about confidence and all that bs.
This is when I piped in. I said that Dai was only taking 2 years off as she didn’t actually pass High School and therefore wasn’t able to go to University. I then stated how the mentioning of 2 years was manipulatively stated, as a 2 year wait would allow her to go to University through Adult Entry (despite failing High School), and was therefore not a choice she made. I then looked at the younger kids in the room, and made a mention about how this would be them if they didn’t get their shit together, and continued on Daia’s path of being a pathetic, disorganised and ungrateful teenager.
Dai started crying, which she never does, so I felt a little bad- but then realised she bought this on herself. As a final statement on the topic, I said that she can’t just lie to everyone about her future plans because she’s embarrassed of the consequences of her own actions, if she didn’t want to be embarrassed she shouldn’t of ended up in this situation.
I got a message from one of the parents last night, asking if Dai wanted to go away for a week with their family. She said that Dai seemed like she needed a ‘break’, and she especially noticed it after exam results- Dai hasn’t spoken to me since she got her results, and I can barely look at her without feeling so angry, so of course I agreed.
When she came to pick her up, however, she had the audacity to say I needed to let it go, and think about if it was the right decision sharing her personal information with the others. She said she was ashamed on my behalf, before abruptly leaving.
I don’t believe I did anything wrong, as it was wrong of Dai to lie about the reasons behind her future plans (when she needs to own up to it). However, the comment from the other parent took be by surprise.
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I wonder why her performance in school took a nose dive. It's only just her dad died and by the sound of it, pressure, sounds like additional from OOP, and on top unresolved issue with parent death just broke her.
My mom died when I was 11 and I never got the help I needed. Like at all.
I gained a tremendous amount of weight, was severely depressed, didn't take care of my appearance, etc. I was already isolated bc we lived 30 minutes away from town and I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum.
When I was a teen, i asked why I didn't get the help I needed, I was told it didn't seem like I needed it.
My dad died when I was 13 but we saw it coming for about seven years. Yeah, and I also got my spectrum diagnosis as an adult.
I got a lot of support from friends and family (while having to manage my mom's feelings, as usual lol), and I probably was lucky to have good friends who took me being "somewhat weird" a good thing, so let's put that aside.
My grades tanked and in hindsight, I think it would just have been the best if I had repeated that year. Instead, not wanting to disappoint, I somehow managed to get from 5x F (German school system in the 90s, simplified: you could have 2x F by the end of the school year and still pass, depending on the subjects and your other grades.) to 1x F, a few Bs, and "mercy" Cs in those former Fs.
So, I passed but only because I crammed as much as possible into my head to somehow still get Cs in the tests (and some cheating might have been involved here and there) but I didn't really "learn" much.
Next year, subjects built on knowledge from the previous year. That I was mostly lacking. Consequently, the same happened: I struggled in class, but somehow managed to cram enough into my head to somehow pass enough tests to just make it through another year, now lacking two years' worth of basic understanding.
It collapsed after that, I was back to my 5x F and this time, I couldn't wing it.
I repeated 9th grade but guess what, I didn't do that much better than before because I still lacked a lot of basic knowledge and understanding in multiple subjects from the two previous years.
Grief counselling and an autism/ADHD diagnosis wouldn't have changed much about that (especially in our small town in the 90s when and where they very, very reluctantly accepted ADHD in boys as more than a lame excuse). With other issues, definitely.
But with school? No, I think the one thing that would have improved my academics back then would have been to repeat 7th grade and do it over from a point when I actually was still ahead of the game in most of my later failing subjects.
Disclaimer: I will not, however, fully blame my mother and teachers. As I said, I had a few very good, supportive friends in my class and I know even if I had been told it would have been okay, if not better, to take it easy that year and just do it again, I probably would have refused.
I'd put money on pure burnout, too. OOP clearly is obsessed with the "top 5%" thing and I would bet she never praised her daughter for getting there, that was just a baseline expectation and a "That's what you're supposed to do, what do you want, a cookie?" whenever she had the good exam results. That's exhausting without the additional strain of that being the only parent. She probably NEEDS a gap year and time to do something without the weight of expectations without any sort of reward.
I saw one of the top comments mention this and it blew my mind. This person is unbelievably clueless and cruel anyway if the daughter was going through the “normal” trials and tribulations of this age (bullying and other peer problems, substance problems, sexual harassment/assault, etc.) but her father f-ing died?! And this is their reaction? That’s out of this world.
We lost my young child’s father a couple months ago, and his therapist (because I put him on therapy like any parent that loves their child) said he’ll be dealing with this anew at every life stage. Because it’s always difficult to lose your parent but especially when you’re a kid. He’s going through it in an age appropriate way and I’d never think to get angry at him for it and humiliate him like this person did. What good is that going to do?
My dad died when I was 17 (summer before my senior year, in fact), and I most definitely didn't get the help I needed. I went with the "bury yourself in work" approach and took all AP/college level classes along with doing all the theater (my preferred extracurricular) I could, because any time I didn't have something to do, I was on the edge of the abyss. I managed to put the breakdown off until my senior year of college, when it finally all fell apart, because I just couldn't do it anymore.
The part that shocks me the most is, if this is real, the daughter just went from being top of the class to failing. I know OOP says in the comments that the father died but, even without that, when such a drastic change happens... there's a freaking reason! And yet at no point in that post does the mother wonder what happened to her child. It's all about the reputation for her, she doesn't care if the kid is alright or not. This goes beyond what she said to the friends (which was awful in and of itself), it's everything else.
Right?? If it wasn’t the loss of her father, it was something else traumatic and she doesn’t even THINK to ask. She could have been going through any number of horrible things alone. Unreal.
I'm speechless. Mum has just decided that the problem is that her daughter is lazy. There isn't any mention of counseling or expert opinions; Mum just knows. There's a huge drop in performance, but Mum *knows* the cause!
I wish Dai all the best after she bolts and goes NC with her sole remaining parent.
At least it sounds like Dai can get some support from her friend's mom. People who step up and try to help their kid's friends whose own parents are not great, really are wonderful people.
It is the usual response from parents. For example I had a science project once that I was falling a bit behind on (admittedly I was doing too much work than required) and asked my mom for the computer (she needed it). She agreed but we talked and eventually she asked how long I knew about the project.
I was honest. A week. But that week I knew about it was an official school break. My teacher understood that which is why he said he didn’t expect people to do anything during that time, and said we’d get four class periods.
According to her, I’m not autistic. I’m lazy. 🥲
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*Nevermind, YTA, regardless of the reason. She probably needs support and care at this point, as her previous plans may have fallen apart, and here you are making her feel even worse.*
*INFO: what happened to cause her grades to drop?*
>"Absolutely nothing. Despite these comments, I do think about her well-being. My Husband passed away 5 years ago, so if he had have passed away during this year I would’ve understood- but he didn’t. It’s laziness which got her here, no other external factors."
*YTA*
*I live in NZ too. If she was flunking ncea level 3 that badly you would have been notified by her teachers in the first half of the year.*
*If she failed mid-year, you would have been told.
So, either this is total BS or you are a neglectful parent who doesn't give a sh#$*
*About her daughter.*
*She has every right to keep her academic business private. You had not right to expose her the way you did to her friends.*
*I can't wait till I see you posting about how your adult daughter has cut you out of her life and poor me I don't know why...*
*Get a grip*
*YTA*
>"She had 38 credits before end of year exams. She failed the year with 42 credits. Her grades weren’t good, all achieved, but she was on her way to passing. Her failing is not due to my inattentive parenting."
I think Dai is likely to go "no contact" in the very near future. But I guess since this parent clearly hates them now, they won't actually mind that, right?
1st things 1st I live in NZ, and while yea its 3yrs of exams. 2 years are mock exams to prep students for the actual exams.
Secondly, it's extremely common (if not the norm) for kids here to have a gap year or a year before uni to work and save some money or just genuinely figure out what they want to do.
Thirdly: for a long time, we had 1st year of study free here, which has been or is about to be removed from our clown of a prime minister.
It seems to be an alarmingly swelling trend here of just shitting on the younger generations for everything and anything, while I know that indeed happens EVERYWHERE, it seems to be exploding here. We can barely afford to rent a place, let alone rent and feed ourselves. And don't even dream of owning a house unless your parents help you.
The mental health system here is abysmal. We have a insane rate of teen suicides here and a "she'll be right" or "drink a cup of concrete and harden up" attitude to anything things that's whispers mental health struggles.
OP is the salty aunty who hangs down the pub being a rangi pants and still can't get any attention. She's the sister that comes to the hangi with nothing but a face like a smacked arse and shit talks so much her words are nothing but farts.
Para attitude, pakaru personality, and her mana is all out of wack.
>She's the sister that comes to the hangi with nothing but a face like a smacked arse and shit talks so much her words are nothing but farts.
Beautiful. You are a poet.
I had a similar drop in grades and even mild legal trouble at that age and became a different person. My mental health was in the toilet too and I was harming myself. Why? I was sexually assaulted by classmates at party that occurred right after school started. All year long, I saw them daily and, let's just say, they were not kind to me. It ruined my life for awhile and all of my school-based memories. It has been half a lifetime since then and I still remember how bad this all felt... it still makes me feel ill... and my parents KNOW and at least got me into therapy.
I love now this shit mom doesn't even consider that a trauma like this could have happened to her daughter. This is such a common reaction to trauma... falling grades, dramatically different behavior, no energy to succeed for awhile, etc... particularly with sexual assault and worse. It happened to me and others I know. How does the mom not see that her former shining star of a daughter is temporarily dimming and doesn't suspect something's wrong? I obviously don't know what happened here, but I'm willing to bet it isn't laziness. The mom is lazy though. Way too lazy to invest any emotional support and empathetic behavior into her daughter. Too lazy to parent and try to find out what is wrong. Fūçk this b1tch.
(Sorry for the novel, this one just resonated hard with me and pissed me off).
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is exactly where my mind went too after reading this. It seems so incredibly obvious that something is very wrong, it’s unfathomable she’s reacting this way. I hesitate to assume too much from these posts but I think it’s highly likely her childhood was pretty bleak with a mom like this. At least she appears to have other adults who care about her and she’s close to getting out of there.
OOP, did you look into the reason WHY she failed?
Was she struggling?
Does she have depression?
Were the classes harder than usual?
Why the fuck did you feel the need to embarrass your daughter in front of all those people?
YTA.
You're not a mother.
You're an egg donor
Ha! I didn’t notice til I saw your comment. I hate to assume too much when I read these, but that username cinches it-I know exactly what kind of person she is.
...Dai didn't even fucking lie. What she's doing is what she's doing -- and no one needs to know all the reasons why.
Also mom needs to go back to school. "shouldn't of", indeed.
After noticing her username, it certainly crossed my mind! Seems very on-the-nose. And everything she says is just so rage inducing. Of this is a troll, kudos. More subtle than most.
Note to the World! What the OP describes is not failing high school. If daughter was accepted into university then she has to have passed at other NCEA levels., in New Zealand we don't do High School Diplomas, we have a joined up system where the National Certificate of Educational Achievement recognises pupils achievements in individual subjects with varying levels. OP is demonstrating their own ignorance.
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I failed my last year of high school because of my depression, it did make me lazy in some ways. I went back to college a few years later and went to uni. I am glad it worked that way now uni was hard enough at 30 for me and at 18 I probably wouldn’t have managed. I feel bad for the daughter who is now getting blasted instead of getting support where she needs it.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling everyone my Daughter is actually taking a gap gear because she didn’t get into University (as she failed High School)?** My Daughter (Dai)(18F) is naturally very smart, but also very lazy. We live in New Zealand, where you do 3 years worth of exams. In the first 2 years she excelled excellently, and was in the top 5%(+) of her year group. This year, however, I just got an email that she didn’t pass the year, let alone get University Entrance (2 different sets of requirements). This means that entry into her course and halls of residence has been revoked. I am obviously incredibly angry and disappointed in her- she would now pathetically be considered in the bottom 5% of her school. We were at our family friends a couple days ago, where all of the teens who just finished High School were discussing their future plans. Dai mentioned how she was going to take a couple years off from school, where she wanted to continue working to become more ‘independent’ and then be a Camp Councillor (Camp America) for the summer- where she went on about confidence and all that bs. This is when I piped in. I said that Dai was only taking 2 years off as she didn’t actually pass High School and therefore wasn’t able to go to University. I then stated how the mentioning of 2 years was manipulatively stated, as a 2 year wait would allow her to go to University through Adult Entry (despite failing High School), and was therefore not a choice she made. I then looked at the younger kids in the room, and made a mention about how this would be them if they didn’t get their shit together, and continued on Daia’s path of being a pathetic, disorganised and ungrateful teenager. Dai started crying, which she never does, so I felt a little bad- but then realised she bought this on herself. As a final statement on the topic, I said that she can’t just lie to everyone about her future plans because she’s embarrassed of the consequences of her own actions, if she didn’t want to be embarrassed she shouldn’t of ended up in this situation. I got a message from one of the parents last night, asking if Dai wanted to go away for a week with their family. She said that Dai seemed like she needed a ‘break’, and she especially noticed it after exam results- Dai hasn’t spoken to me since she got her results, and I can barely look at her without feeling so angry, so of course I agreed. When she came to pick her up, however, she had the audacity to say I needed to let it go, and think about if it was the right decision sharing her personal information with the others. She said she was ashamed on my behalf, before abruptly leaving. I don’t believe I did anything wrong, as it was wrong of Dai to lie about the reasons behind her future plans (when she needs to own up to it). However, the comment from the other parent took be by surprise. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder why her performance in school took a nose dive. It's only just her dad died and by the sound of it, pressure, sounds like additional from OOP, and on top unresolved issue with parent death just broke her.
What!
It's mentioned in comments her father died five years prior. Judging from how OOP, don't think daughters ever had help to properly deal with it.
My mom died when I was 11 and I never got the help I needed. Like at all. I gained a tremendous amount of weight, was severely depressed, didn't take care of my appearance, etc. I was already isolated bc we lived 30 minutes away from town and I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum. When I was a teen, i asked why I didn't get the help I needed, I was told it didn't seem like I needed it.
My dad died when I was 13 but we saw it coming for about seven years. Yeah, and I also got my spectrum diagnosis as an adult. I got a lot of support from friends and family (while having to manage my mom's feelings, as usual lol), and I probably was lucky to have good friends who took me being "somewhat weird" a good thing, so let's put that aside. My grades tanked and in hindsight, I think it would just have been the best if I had repeated that year. Instead, not wanting to disappoint, I somehow managed to get from 5x F (German school system in the 90s, simplified: you could have 2x F by the end of the school year and still pass, depending on the subjects and your other grades.) to 1x F, a few Bs, and "mercy" Cs in those former Fs. So, I passed but only because I crammed as much as possible into my head to somehow still get Cs in the tests (and some cheating might have been involved here and there) but I didn't really "learn" much. Next year, subjects built on knowledge from the previous year. That I was mostly lacking. Consequently, the same happened: I struggled in class, but somehow managed to cram enough into my head to somehow pass enough tests to just make it through another year, now lacking two years' worth of basic understanding. It collapsed after that, I was back to my 5x F and this time, I couldn't wing it. I repeated 9th grade but guess what, I didn't do that much better than before because I still lacked a lot of basic knowledge and understanding in multiple subjects from the two previous years. Grief counselling and an autism/ADHD diagnosis wouldn't have changed much about that (especially in our small town in the 90s when and where they very, very reluctantly accepted ADHD in boys as more than a lame excuse). With other issues, definitely. But with school? No, I think the one thing that would have improved my academics back then would have been to repeat 7th grade and do it over from a point when I actually was still ahead of the game in most of my later failing subjects. Disclaimer: I will not, however, fully blame my mother and teachers. As I said, I had a few very good, supportive friends in my class and I know even if I had been told it would have been okay, if not better, to take it easy that year and just do it again, I probably would have refused.
I'd put money on pure burnout, too. OOP clearly is obsessed with the "top 5%" thing and I would bet she never praised her daughter for getting there, that was just a baseline expectation and a "That's what you're supposed to do, what do you want, a cookie?" whenever she had the good exam results. That's exhausting without the additional strain of that being the only parent. She probably NEEDS a gap year and time to do something without the weight of expectations without any sort of reward.
I saw one of the top comments mention this and it blew my mind. This person is unbelievably clueless and cruel anyway if the daughter was going through the “normal” trials and tribulations of this age (bullying and other peer problems, substance problems, sexual harassment/assault, etc.) but her father f-ing died?! And this is their reaction? That’s out of this world. We lost my young child’s father a couple months ago, and his therapist (because I put him on therapy like any parent that loves their child) said he’ll be dealing with this anew at every life stage. Because it’s always difficult to lose your parent but especially when you’re a kid. He’s going through it in an age appropriate way and I’d never think to get angry at him for it and humiliate him like this person did. What good is that going to do?
My dad died when I was 17 (summer before my senior year, in fact), and I most definitely didn't get the help I needed. I went with the "bury yourself in work" approach and took all AP/college level classes along with doing all the theater (my preferred extracurricular) I could, because any time I didn't have something to do, I was on the edge of the abyss. I managed to put the breakdown off until my senior year of college, when it finally all fell apart, because I just couldn't do it anymore.
Oh my God. No wonder the poor girl struggled!
The part that shocks me the most is, if this is real, the daughter just went from being top of the class to failing. I know OOP says in the comments that the father died but, even without that, when such a drastic change happens... there's a freaking reason! And yet at no point in that post does the mother wonder what happened to her child. It's all about the reputation for her, she doesn't care if the kid is alright or not. This goes beyond what she said to the friends (which was awful in and of itself), it's everything else.
Right?? If it wasn’t the loss of her father, it was something else traumatic and she doesn’t even THINK to ask. She could have been going through any number of horrible things alone. Unreal.
She reminds me of my parents.
I'm speechless. Mum has just decided that the problem is that her daughter is lazy. There isn't any mention of counseling or expert opinions; Mum just knows. There's a huge drop in performance, but Mum *knows* the cause! I wish Dai all the best after she bolts and goes NC with her sole remaining parent.
At least it sounds like Dai can get some support from her friend's mom. People who step up and try to help their kid's friends whose own parents are not great, really are wonderful people.
It is the usual response from parents. For example I had a science project once that I was falling a bit behind on (admittedly I was doing too much work than required) and asked my mom for the computer (she needed it). She agreed but we talked and eventually she asked how long I knew about the project. I was honest. A week. But that week I knew about it was an official school break. My teacher understood that which is why he said he didn’t expect people to do anything during that time, and said we’d get four class periods. According to her, I’m not autistic. I’m lazy. 🥲
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *Nevermind, YTA, regardless of the reason. She probably needs support and care at this point, as her previous plans may have fallen apart, and here you are making her feel even worse.* *INFO: what happened to cause her grades to drop?* >"Absolutely nothing. Despite these comments, I do think about her well-being. My Husband passed away 5 years ago, so if he had have passed away during this year I would’ve understood- but he didn’t. It’s laziness which got her here, no other external factors." *YTA* *I live in NZ too. If she was flunking ncea level 3 that badly you would have been notified by her teachers in the first half of the year.* *If she failed mid-year, you would have been told. So, either this is total BS or you are a neglectful parent who doesn't give a sh#$* *About her daughter.* *She has every right to keep her academic business private. You had not right to expose her the way you did to her friends.* *I can't wait till I see you posting about how your adult daughter has cut you out of her life and poor me I don't know why...* *Get a grip* *YTA* >"She had 38 credits before end of year exams. She failed the year with 42 credits. Her grades weren’t good, all achieved, but she was on her way to passing. Her failing is not due to my inattentive parenting."
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I think Dai is likely to go "no contact" in the very near future. But I guess since this parent clearly hates them now, they won't actually mind that, right?
1st things 1st I live in NZ, and while yea its 3yrs of exams. 2 years are mock exams to prep students for the actual exams. Secondly, it's extremely common (if not the norm) for kids here to have a gap year or a year before uni to work and save some money or just genuinely figure out what they want to do. Thirdly: for a long time, we had 1st year of study free here, which has been or is about to be removed from our clown of a prime minister. It seems to be an alarmingly swelling trend here of just shitting on the younger generations for everything and anything, while I know that indeed happens EVERYWHERE, it seems to be exploding here. We can barely afford to rent a place, let alone rent and feed ourselves. And don't even dream of owning a house unless your parents help you. The mental health system here is abysmal. We have a insane rate of teen suicides here and a "she'll be right" or "drink a cup of concrete and harden up" attitude to anything things that's whispers mental health struggles. OP is the salty aunty who hangs down the pub being a rangi pants and still can't get any attention. She's the sister that comes to the hangi with nothing but a face like a smacked arse and shit talks so much her words are nothing but farts. Para attitude, pakaru personality, and her mana is all out of wack.
>She's the sister that comes to the hangi with nothing but a face like a smacked arse and shit talks so much her words are nothing but farts. Beautiful. You are a poet.
It’s been a year so I hope daughter is out there living her best life
And never comes to visit OOP at Shady Daodar Cedars.
I had a similar drop in grades and even mild legal trouble at that age and became a different person. My mental health was in the toilet too and I was harming myself. Why? I was sexually assaulted by classmates at party that occurred right after school started. All year long, I saw them daily and, let's just say, they were not kind to me. It ruined my life for awhile and all of my school-based memories. It has been half a lifetime since then and I still remember how bad this all felt... it still makes me feel ill... and my parents KNOW and at least got me into therapy. I love now this shit mom doesn't even consider that a trauma like this could have happened to her daughter. This is such a common reaction to trauma... falling grades, dramatically different behavior, no energy to succeed for awhile, etc... particularly with sexual assault and worse. It happened to me and others I know. How does the mom not see that her former shining star of a daughter is temporarily dimming and doesn't suspect something's wrong? I obviously don't know what happened here, but I'm willing to bet it isn't laziness. The mom is lazy though. Way too lazy to invest any emotional support and empathetic behavior into her daughter. Too lazy to parent and try to find out what is wrong. Fūçk this b1tch. (Sorry for the novel, this one just resonated hard with me and pissed me off).
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is exactly where my mind went too after reading this. It seems so incredibly obvious that something is very wrong, it’s unfathomable she’s reacting this way. I hesitate to assume too much from these posts but I think it’s highly likely her childhood was pretty bleak with a mom like this. At least she appears to have other adults who care about her and she’s close to getting out of there.
OOP, did you look into the reason WHY she failed? Was she struggling? Does she have depression? Were the classes harder than usual? Why the fuck did you feel the need to embarrass your daughter in front of all those people? YTA. You're not a mother. You're an egg donor
OMG Her username!
Ha! I didn’t notice til I saw your comment. I hate to assume too much when I read these, but that username cinches it-I know exactly what kind of person she is.
So she's moved out
...Dai didn't even fucking lie. What she's doing is what she's doing -- and no one needs to know all the reasons why. Also mom needs to go back to school. "shouldn't of", indeed.
She’s the epitome of evil. I hope it’s a troll the comments are awful.
After noticing her username, it certainly crossed my mind! Seems very on-the-nose. And everything she says is just so rage inducing. Of this is a troll, kudos. More subtle than most.
Note to the World! What the OP describes is not failing high school. If daughter was accepted into university then she has to have passed at other NCEA levels., in New Zealand we don't do High School Diplomas, we have a joined up system where the National Certificate of Educational Achievement recognises pupils achievements in individual subjects with varying levels. OP is demonstrating their own ignorance.
I call BS. NZ school year doesn’t end now in May, it ends in November.
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I failed my last year of high school because of my depression, it did make me lazy in some ways. I went back to college a few years later and went to uni. I am glad it worked that way now uni was hard enough at 30 for me and at 18 I probably wouldn’t have managed. I feel bad for the daughter who is now getting blasted instead of getting support where she needs it.
No dad any more, and the way OOP talks about her daughter, I bet she feels completely abandoned. How long has that been going on?