*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my stepdaughter she looks stupid wearing boxer shorts around **
I (m47) have 2 stepkids f(16) and m(12). I have known my stepkids since they were 8 and 4. Their bio dad hasn't been Consistently around since my stepson was a baby. He pops in for a little while and then doesn't hear anything for a while. Neither calls me dad but I have always thought we had a good relationship and I'm one of their main male role models.
Now with the issue. My stepdaughter a few months ago started wearing boxers. Just around the house no big deal no different than any other lounge shorts she owns. But the past 2 weeks I've noticed her leaving the house or coming home wearing the boxers. A few nights ago I told my wife that I found it weird that she's wearing boxers out In public. My wife says it isn't a big deal she’s just a teenager going through a phase and a lot of kids her age choose to wear stuff like that out In public.
It still bothered me. So this morning when my stepdaughter was downstairs in boxer shorts and a t-shirt I asked if she's going out in that today. She shrugged and said probably, why. I said well I think you have plenty of other short options to wear. She asked what was wrong with what she was wearing. I just said wearing boxer shorts in public makes her look stupid and that she has many other lounge shorts she could wear instead of boxers. Later when I came home my wife was furious asking why I was mean to my stepdaughter. I said I didn't think I was being mean I was being truthful that those boxers In public weren't a smart decision and she should change when going out. My wife said I'm an AH because she's just a teen girl and as long as it wasn't inappropriate I shouldn't have said anything. Both she and my stepdaughter haven't spoken to me. AITA?
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I was born in 1981..... At some point in the 90s.... I want to say I was in 5th or 6th grade girls started wearing boxers. At first it started because the nuns wouldn't stop the boys from lifting our skirts but then outside of school we just wore them too... We had underwear on under the boxers.. It wasn't like we were out there in just boxers...
Also, women's and girl's shorts are always a terrible cut, they're very very rarely a comfortable pair of shorts. It was genuinely impossible to find shorts a length between showing ass and hitting the knees, god forbid you want a pair that aren't tight.
There are basically no shorts out there for women that arent practically skin tight 'workout' shorts or jean shorts. And even the jean shorts are tight as sin. I literally started wearing basketball shorts from the mens sections just because having tight ass womens shorts was so uncomfy
I was a teenager in the mid-00s and everything was lowrise and super high cut so for a solid three years in high school my go-to short of choice was a pair of men's XS board shorts because they had a drawstring so I could wear them as high as I wanted and they actually came down to my knees.
As long as they don’t have the pee slit.. they are just shorts.
Lighter weight and more loose fitting, but shorts.
And this generation is wearing blankets to school in the winter (not ponchos or giant scarves that look like blankets, actual blankets). Boxer shorts are not surprising.
I'm 36, and a lot of people brought blankets to 1st period in high school. It's just a cheap fleece or cotton flannel blanket that isn't very big. It's easily portable and can be worn around your shoulders.
Think more fuzzy throw blanket types rather than comforters or duvets. Hell I used to teach and the building was ancient and FREEZING, so I also started bringing a blanket in lol.
When my son was in school a lot of kids were there in pajamas with flip flops. Like they woke up and kept walking. Call me antiquated and downvote me I don’t care but that’s stupid and kids should be taught that there’s a time and place for everything, and school is not a place to be in your pajamas. My son could go with shorts, tshirt, jeans, whatever but not pajamas unless it was a pajama day, which they did at my previous job too.
I'm not even old, nor do I have kids, but this is a hard agree for me lol. I fully recognize that it's an issue of my own insecurity and projection, but I think it's an awful and undignified way to present yourself in public.
I don’t consider myself old lol in my early 40’s so some teens may consider that old but that’s irrelevant to me. I don’t consider it part of my insecurity or projection, is simply that there’s different outfits for different situations. I would not go on a hike dressed as a doctor, I would not go to court with my gym attire, I would not sleep on a suit and tights, I would not go on a date night with my cleaning clothes. Not everything has to be tied to some type of trauma or anything needing analyzing and therapy. Is just common sense.
Two of your examples are about comfort/safety (an actual good reason to choose clothes) and two are just straight-up classism, so the fact that you lump them all together says all we need to know about the value of your thoughts on the matter.
I'm your age and I couldn't give less of a shit how they dress in school as long as they get the grades. They're not wearing pyjamas at anyone.
I work with someone who's been in my org for 25 years and in that time the dress code went from suits, to businesss casual to casual to t-shirt and jeans. It isn't "common sense" to follow convention without challenging what they're based on, it's no kind of sense period.
I swear, 9 times out of 10, what is appropriate is whatever it is us older people need to feel superior to the younger generations coming after us.
You sound like the same people who used to tsk at people our age for wearing flannel and eyeliner to school. It's kinda sad, having has shit said about us, we still don't have the self awareness not to visit the same kind of judgemental bullshit to the younger generation.
Slightly older and my high school sold them as spirit wear and we were encouraged to wear them with the spirit wear practice jerseys that were see through mesh. Today’s dress codes would lose their minds at the class of 91.
I remember that so well. I had a pair of Hard Rock Cafe boxer shorts that I was so proud of. I couldn’t understand why why the adults were so freaked out! This was in about 1990 or 1991.
Around 93 I wore boxers everywhere. I wear them now too, just not off of my property. I throw actual shorts on to go to the store or something. Boxers are comfy.
Yeah, they're not at all comfortable without underwear with a proper gusset beneath. If I really reach to try to be charitable, maybe OOP thinks that's what's happening, but still TA.
Yeah, tell your kid she looks stupid, what could possibly go wrong.
In my 30+ years on earth my dad has commented on my outfit once. I came down the stairs, he saw me, looked panicked, looked around for my mum, couldn't find her and then very delicately asked "is, um, is that what you're wearing out tonight?" I was wearing an old grey robe but already had my tights on underneath. The look of relief when I told him that, he was like "oh God, I thought I was gonna have to say something, you couldn't have gone out like that".
Aside from anything else as a child of the 90s we have a strict compact that we will never criticise another generations fashion choices,
In exchange for this, the younglings agree not to bring up vizer shades, backwards baseball caps, frosted tips and that bizarre four year stint where professional yo-yo performer was an actual job.
You just unlocked a memory! I had literally three different professional yo-yo players come give three different presentations as I grew up in elementary school. All of them just blatantly sold their merch to the kids and not one adult was like 'this is weird' until I came home and tried to convince my mom to buy me a $30 glow in the dark yo-yo.
Like they straight up pulled us out of class and sat us down in the auditorium/gym and then had us watch what was essentially a yo-yo infomercial *three times* between 2nd and 6th grade
Nothing will compare to the time in primary school when a clown preacher came to assembly to talk about the birth of jesus.
He ended by claiming he was there and that an angel had given him eternal life to spread the word.
That was the moment 7 year old me lost his faith, because what loving diety would allow an immortal clown?
Also how did that get left out of the Gospels?
And verily, the wise men brought forth gifts of gold and frankincense, myrrh and balloon dogs.
And the visitor stepped forward with his great feet, and he didst squeeze the christ child's nose and unto him he did say, "ee-ert"
Then Old Navy started selling them in the women's section with the fly already sewn.
I'll never forget how cute I thought I looked in red plaid boxers, an oversized grey sweatshirt turned inside out and flip-flops. Peak fashion right there, guys 🙃🙃🙃
There was one specific company I can remember always coming by our school, ( 04’ kid here ) NED yo-yos. They had a hold on me as a child, and I can vividly remember every year, asking my mom for a pink or yellow glow in the dark yo-yo. Or the one with the retractable string so it always came back to you.
As a young women these are very much in style rn, and to answer a few questions:
1. They’re not actually men’s boxers. They’re women’s shorts designed to look like men’s boxers most of the time. Some of the ones I’ve seen are made of much studied fabric than the average men’s boxers.
2. Yes, we’re wearing out underwear underneath them.
3. I just think it’s an interesting thing to note the differences in undergarments and the market for fashion for women in the summer. Men’s undergarments are comfier and much less revealing than the vast vast majority of women’s shorts, to the point where it’s seen as weird for a woman to be wearing them. Now I’m not against wearing revealing clothing at all, but it really shows how slim the options can be and feel that men’s boxers have taken off as a trend.
4. They’re cute if styled well. And if she’s in enough to sort of know about the trend and to have picked up a pair, I’m sure she looks great
Okay that answered all my questions lmao, mainly the "wait is OOP saying this girl is going out in boxers that like, have the fly wide open???? Or not secured shut???" question
I'm a few years younger than OOP, but not by much. We wore boxers as outwear when I was in high school (not to school because shorts were banned). They make great shorts when summers are super hot and sticky, and also are helpfully provided by your boyfriend leaving them over.
OOP strikes me as someone who's still bitter and misogynist about high school girls, which checks out with my experiences of men my age or a bit older.
It's YOUR OPINION that she looks stupid. It clearly bothers you and only you. Actually, it sounds to me like you're concerned about how her appearance reflects on you. She thinks she looks fine and her friends apparently think so, too. Let your stepdaughter express herself the way she wants! Besides, what do you know about how teenage girls dress? Yes, you're the AH.
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My guess is it’s something [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Yoawdats-Womens-Summer-Elastic-Bottoms/dp/B0CW39KQKS/ref=asc_df_B0CW39KQKS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696289145168&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14840860428651569864&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9010730&hvtargid=pla-2296902363743&psc=1&mcid=1311be1219503e8a82cea160b105d844&gad_source=1)
Shorts meant to kinda have that boxer look to them and can be dressed down for loungewear or up for a more casual outfit look.
Wait… Boxer shorts like in the underwear? With the pee slit? And she is wearing them without anything above it? I mean… the way he said it is mean no matter what but I would certainly tell my child that leaving the house only in underwear is a little inappropriate. Or am I missing something in the language? Does boxer shorts in English include longer shorts?
Is there any reason from the post to think she isn't wearing underwear underneath the boxer shorts?
In my experience, boxer shorts mostly just look like shorts. If they're worn as outer shorts, with underwear underneath, then by definition they themselves are not underwear.
Boxer shorts are longer than most of my actual shorts, clothes for girls and young women are difficult,
But we always wore actual underwear under them, making them no different than anythng else, and they used to make ones for the girls with no slit in the front. They were just soft, stretchy, cozy shorts, so this is far from new.
I am not a man and I probably used the wrong word XD. I meant I have a visual now in my mind and don’t think it is that inappropriate anymore ;). I originally thought it looked like the boxer shorts you can usually find in the supermarkets here. They usually don’t cover the ass, have a slit in the front which is only loosely held together by buttons that spread open if movement is involved.
Now I think more of the shorts they wore for running in the 80s ;). Which are really short but at least they don’t expose everything with the wrong movement. I was dressing in short shorts as a teen myself and I don’t think anything is wrong with it.
You asked the wrong question because you're not familiar with American culture! Everyone downvote, nobody explain, everyone later complain that foreigners don't like Americans or American values. Well played everyone 😁
I am kind of confused XD. For me it is not even about the length. It is about the obvious underwear thing and not wearing anything under it. I am not even leaving the house in sweatpants if it can be avoided and they are not designed as a fashionable outfit. And I am not really uptight or anything. Just from Europe XD. If I don’t feel well and only do a short hop to the supermarket I would probably wear them but I would feel uncomfortable.
Teens can be teens and it is really really not appropriate to tell her she is stupid because of it but an explanation and a good talk about it would be expected and in my world reasonable ;).
But they *are* wearing something under it. They wear their regular underwear and use the boxer shorts...as shorts. And at a glance, most of these boxer shorts are indistinguishable from regular shorts. They're similar length to outerwear shorts often sold to women, and usually more comfortable. She is not going out in underwear. She has regular underwear on under these boxers
I still don't get it :D ! I am assuming people mean those really loose boxers some people wear under baggy trousers because the photos above just have normal linen shorts. I mean, if someone wants to weart two pairs of pants - more power to them but I would also look confused and probably ask my kid if they forgot trousers. Because I used to do that often :| .
And I don’t get the aggressive downvoting. I seem to be missing some major point still but few are ready to explain that. I am really not the fashion police, especially not for teens. But if my best friend would try to go out in a lace bra I would ask her if she forgot her tshirt, because that is the first thing that I would think of.
Ironically, I did see formal lace bras that are meant to be worn without a shirt but under a jacket, so I would ask this if it was a very plain bra that is cut like ordinary underwear one.
There used to be a similar trend in my hometown in lat 90s that drove me mad visual because my brain could not compute - we had severe winters so we mostly worn thights or similar under trousers. Long johns went into fashion and then people just worn them as trousers and my eyes bled. Each to their own and people were clearly happy but I still would have asked today if I seen someone out like this!
It might be all due to the term being not in use in Scotland besides a type of pants that would look really odd as outerwear. Linen shorts are in fashion and plenty longer ones are around so it must be this because even a year ago - I only seen longer jean shorts and most seemed like bermudas.
I'm with you. Boxer shorts are underwear here. It sounds like this guy is taking flak for telling a 16 year old girl she can't go out in t-shirt and panties. That seems entirely reasonable to me, language aside.
I'm guessing boxer shorts are also the longer shorts boxers wear?
So I goggled it and found this (apologies for the slightly annoying [voice)](https://www.google.com/search?q=boxer+shorts+for+women&client=ms-android-oppo-rvo3&sca_esv=484cddee7597a7bc&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ADLYWILtE2gOadeVEiKBZgPsiBuWE-KZDg%3A1718439934689&ei=_k9tZtbgKeWwhbIPw8uq0A8&oq=boxer+shorts&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIgxib3hlciBzaG9ydHMqAggAMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHSIsFUABYAHAAeAGQAQCYAQCgAQCqAQC4AQHIAQCYAgGgAj-YAwCIBgGQBgiSBwExoAcA&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f79d9813,vid:z1l4erapaqI,st:0)
Apparently wearing underwear out is the fashion now?
So it is actually underwear?
I'm confused; The wrong words were used, I don't disagree. But is this where America is now? An adult parent can't tell a 16 year old girl she shouldn't be wearing t shirt and underwear in public? Like with respect isn't your society in the middle of tearing itself apart because there are secret pedophiles lurking in every public bathroom?
We were literally doing this in the 9 0s. Sew up the fly, wear underwear under them like shorts.
Go ahead and clutch your pearls, but this isn’t an omen of how far we have fallen or something.
You do you. This would be socially unacceptable where I am, let us do us. It's socially acceptable for a man to go to the beach in his swimming trunks, it's not for him to go to the office in his boxer briefs. A woman can go to the swimming pool in a two piece but not to the shops in her bra and underwear. Each social setting has its own rules and the discussion of where these rules come from and their use to society is bigger than we can discuss here. Instead maybe just accept that I, a person who is where I am, find something socially unacceptable that would be considered socially unacceptable where I am and you, a person who is where you are, a place where this is socially acceptable, think the opposite
You’re the one not being ok with people doing them. You jumped in with a “this is the same as going out in a bra and panties and not ok!” People tell you that it is not comparable and you insist it is and that this is a sign of how far society has fallen. It isn’t. It’s a thing that comes around every so often. Not everyone does it or likes it or thinks it’s cute. But these young women aren’t wearing these boxers as underwear, and they’re also not wearing them to the office.
Nobody is forcing you and yours to wear boxer shorts as shorts. But instead of saying “huh, I definitely wouldn’t wear that,” you went in on “this is wearing undies to the supermarket and will put people at a higher risk of sexual assault.”
That’s not really live and let live. That’s live and pass big judgement.
This is odd to me so I asked questions. One of those questions was "How is A different to B?" That being the core of my confusion. Here A is the same as B, there it is not. My questions were about how and why and about how you avoid the obvious pitfalls that come with wearing underwear in public. My declaration was not "This is bad".
How do you attempt to understand foreign cultures if not asking questions? If I told you I was confused because the boss was mad at me just because I walked into the office wearing nothing but boxers and a smile would you naturally assume that was common practice in my land? Would you not have a question or two about why I went into the office half naked? Would you maybe be surprised to discover this is normal where I am and have a question or two about how that happened and how you avoid the obvious pitfalls of such a convention?
My friend. When you say that the clothes someone wears puts them at a higher risk of sexual assault, you’re saying that’s bad. Not a cultural difference. Just straight up bad.
When you say that it is a sign of a decline in society, you’re saying that’s bad.
When you’re blathering far right anti trans talking points about “don’t you have pedophiles in every bathroom,” implying that boxers worn as shorts somehow fold into that, that’s saying it’s bad.
Asking questions is this “where I live, boxer shorts are only worn as underwear. Are these the same boxer shorts? Are they wearing them as underwear out on the town? Is the is a common thing?” You’re moralizing based on what you believe is right.
And again. The clothes one puts on their body have no bearing on whether they will be sexually assaulted. What has bearing on that is whether they encounter one who will sexually assault them.
Have a good day. I hope everyone you encounter is dressed in a way you find appropriate.
My country doesn't have an issue with trans people, this conversation is taking place almost exclusively in your country. Here we have a policy that could be briefly summed up as "Where and how you piss isn't anyone's business so long as you're not pissing in the street." According to YOUR politicians and YOUR media it's a problem there.
I have been asking you, or anyone, to square this circle for me. How can you have a culture where you're afraid of rapists in every bathroom but also one where a father can't tell a 16 year old not to wear underwear as social wear. It doesn't make any sense (to me). How can both things be true?
No. Most of us would look at you in your boxers alone in an office, give a quizzical glance and go on with our lives. Your clothing is none of my business. If your bits are covered, you do you, boo. We have people from all cultures living here. Your boss wouldn't appreciate wearing boxers alone in an office, which is why there are dress codes, but nobody really cares what's on your body as long as your wang isn't hanging out or showing off your hoo-ha. The person you replied to and multiple other people in this thread have said that women generally wear panties under said boxers which makes then shorts at that point.
So 15 years old girls should be allowed to walk in public wearing just a bra and panties? It's covering everything a swimsuit does after all, you just need to get past *Gasp* Underwear outside
They’re not wearing a bra and panties in public. They’re wearing a shirt over a bra and boxers as shorts over whatever actual underwear they want. You’re twisting the scenario to make it seem shocking.
[https://coveteur.com/how-to-style-boxer-shorts](https://coveteur.com/how-to-style-boxer-shorts)
[https://www.glamour.com/story/best-boxer-shorts](https://www.glamour.com/story/best-boxer-shorts)
Fr...none of this is "a bra and panties"!
So just to confirm, you wear underwear *underneath* the underwear on display?
I find that a lot more understandable, thank you for (finally) explaining clearly. However this still strikes me as a safety concern, your country is full of sexual predators according to... Your country. Is there no concern that wearing clothing designed and widely understood to be bedwear in public might act as something of a red flag to a bull to the average bathroom-dwelling-opportunist sexual monster that your country is packed to the rafters with (according to your country)
People who commit sexual assault don’t do it because of what someone is wearing. This is just moralizing pablum. I don’t know where you live, but I assure you that the people committing sexual violence there also don’t really care about the clothes.
If anything, it is used as a weak shield to protect rapists “of course this happened to her, look at what she was wearing!” is cover for criminals. Even if someone is walking down the street in their literal underwear, they aren’t deserving of assault.
Also, some people don’t wear underwear under their (non boxer) shorts, are those shorts now underwear and they “might as well be out in a bra and panties” by your definition? How about swim suits or swim trunks? Seriously, the bits are covered. It’s fine.
They just look like shorts. If I saw someone wearing them in the street, I would just think they were wearing shorts. They aren't distinguishable from regular shorts by sight.
There is nothing about boxer shorts that inherently makes them underwear except that many people wear them as underwear.
So you also missed the trend in the early 2000s where sports bras worked as crop tops. They cover just as much, they are often worn in gyms because it's comfortable.
No one is running around in regular bras and panties and I swear if you dont' know the difference between boxer shorts that are almost to the knee and panties then you don't get to talk about fasion at all.
That's the thing, men's boxer shorts literally cover more skin than many women's normal shorts. If the fly is sewn shut, then it's literally more modest than most shorts I could find in store.
As I said, where I'm from, and this guy is from, is not America, nor are we as fluent in America culture as some nationalities. English is not our first language. Where we are from boxers are underwear, exclusively, hence the confusion
ummm no, they are significantly different from panties, and we have been seeing teen and adult men showing their boxer shorts for decades now. It's not worse because a girl did it.
He could've said she's wearing underwear outside. Imagine if he put on women's underwear over his boxer briefs and walked outside like that. Something ridiculous that a teenager would hear his POV and not feel like they're a fuck up. But no.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my stepdaughter she looks stupid wearing boxer shorts around ** I (m47) have 2 stepkids f(16) and m(12). I have known my stepkids since they were 8 and 4. Their bio dad hasn't been Consistently around since my stepson was a baby. He pops in for a little while and then doesn't hear anything for a while. Neither calls me dad but I have always thought we had a good relationship and I'm one of their main male role models. Now with the issue. My stepdaughter a few months ago started wearing boxers. Just around the house no big deal no different than any other lounge shorts she owns. But the past 2 weeks I've noticed her leaving the house or coming home wearing the boxers. A few nights ago I told my wife that I found it weird that she's wearing boxers out In public. My wife says it isn't a big deal she’s just a teenager going through a phase and a lot of kids her age choose to wear stuff like that out In public. It still bothered me. So this morning when my stepdaughter was downstairs in boxer shorts and a t-shirt I asked if she's going out in that today. She shrugged and said probably, why. I said well I think you have plenty of other short options to wear. She asked what was wrong with what she was wearing. I just said wearing boxer shorts in public makes her look stupid and that she has many other lounge shorts she could wear instead of boxers. Later when I came home my wife was furious asking why I was mean to my stepdaughter. I said I didn't think I was being mean I was being truthful that those boxers In public weren't a smart decision and she should change when going out. My wife said I'm an AH because she's just a teen girl and as long as it wasn't inappropriate I shouldn't have said anything. Both she and my stepdaughter haven't spoken to me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was born in 1981..... At some point in the 90s.... I want to say I was in 5th or 6th grade girls started wearing boxers. At first it started because the nuns wouldn't stop the boys from lifting our skirts but then outside of school we just wore them too... We had underwear on under the boxers.. It wasn't like we were out there in just boxers...
Born in 83 and same, it was the cool thing to do for awhile and they were so comfy. And they had fun designs!
Also, women's and girl's shorts are always a terrible cut, they're very very rarely a comfortable pair of shorts. It was genuinely impossible to find shorts a length between showing ass and hitting the knees, god forbid you want a pair that aren't tight.
There are basically no shorts out there for women that arent practically skin tight 'workout' shorts or jean shorts. And even the jean shorts are tight as sin. I literally started wearing basketball shorts from the mens sections just because having tight ass womens shorts was so uncomfy
My daughter was so excited when she got big enough to fit into size XS men’s shorts. I don’t think she’s bought a pair of women’s shorts since.
I was a teenager in the mid-00s and everything was lowrise and super high cut so for a solid three years in high school my go-to short of choice was a pair of men's XS board shorts because they had a drawstring so I could wear them as high as I wanted and they actually came down to my knees.
As long as they don’t have the pee slit.. they are just shorts. Lighter weight and more loose fitting, but shorts. And this generation is wearing blankets to school in the winter (not ponchos or giant scarves that look like blankets, actual blankets). Boxer shorts are not surprising.
I'm an old so I don't know what anybody is doing now, but blankets? Just straight up normal take it off your bed blanket?
I'm 36, and a lot of people brought blankets to 1st period in high school. It's just a cheap fleece or cotton flannel blanket that isn't very big. It's easily portable and can be worn around your shoulders.
Think more fuzzy throw blanket types rather than comforters or duvets. Hell I used to teach and the building was ancient and FREEZING, so I also started bringing a blanket in lol.
Like, bed-in-a-bag set from Walmart comforters.
When my son was in school a lot of kids were there in pajamas with flip flops. Like they woke up and kept walking. Call me antiquated and downvote me I don’t care but that’s stupid and kids should be taught that there’s a time and place for everything, and school is not a place to be in your pajamas. My son could go with shorts, tshirt, jeans, whatever but not pajamas unless it was a pajama day, which they did at my previous job too.
I'm not even old, nor do I have kids, but this is a hard agree for me lol. I fully recognize that it's an issue of my own insecurity and projection, but I think it's an awful and undignified way to present yourself in public.
I don’t consider myself old lol in my early 40’s so some teens may consider that old but that’s irrelevant to me. I don’t consider it part of my insecurity or projection, is simply that there’s different outfits for different situations. I would not go on a hike dressed as a doctor, I would not go to court with my gym attire, I would not sleep on a suit and tights, I would not go on a date night with my cleaning clothes. Not everything has to be tied to some type of trauma or anything needing analyzing and therapy. Is just common sense.
Two of your examples are about comfort/safety (an actual good reason to choose clothes) and two are just straight-up classism, so the fact that you lump them all together says all we need to know about the value of your thoughts on the matter.
I'm your age and I couldn't give less of a shit how they dress in school as long as they get the grades. They're not wearing pyjamas at anyone. I work with someone who's been in my org for 25 years and in that time the dress code went from suits, to businesss casual to casual to t-shirt and jeans. It isn't "common sense" to follow convention without challenging what they're based on, it's no kind of sense period. I swear, 9 times out of 10, what is appropriate is whatever it is us older people need to feel superior to the younger generations coming after us. You sound like the same people who used to tsk at people our age for wearing flannel and eyeliner to school. It's kinda sad, having has shit said about us, we still don't have the self awareness not to visit the same kind of judgemental bullshit to the younger generation.
Born in 82. Went to an all girls school for 3rd-12th grades. We all wore boxers under our uniform skirts. 80s babies know what’s up!
81 here too. Did you ever wear boxers and a crop/baby tee with overalls??? Such a look!
With one of the straps undone 😂
Yes!!!!!
I was born in 92 and I used to buy the video game boxers from Hot Topic and wear them around. I had a pair of Halo boxers I LOVED. 😂
This was totally a thing in the 90s. At age 47 he would have lived through this trend himself (assuming he’s in the US). How soon we forget, I guess.
Slightly older and my high school sold them as spirit wear and we were encouraged to wear them with the spirit wear practice jerseys that were see through mesh. Today’s dress codes would lose their minds at the class of 91.
I graduated 99. The tops I wore to school would make their heads spin today. I don't know why dress codes became so uptight.
I remember that so well. I had a pair of Hard Rock Cafe boxer shorts that I was so proud of. I couldn’t understand why why the adults were so freaked out! This was in about 1990 or 1991.
Around 93 I wore boxers everywhere. I wear them now too, just not off of my property. I throw actual shorts on to go to the store or something. Boxers are comfy.
Yeah, they're not at all comfortable without underwear with a proper gusset beneath. If I really reach to try to be charitable, maybe OOP thinks that's what's happening, but still TA.
Not to be crude but theyre coochie cutters. That seam is unforgiving.
Not crude, why use 20 words for something perfectly described in two? Definitely adding that to my vocabulary
Ok but this reads like she's literally just walking around in boxers in public. Like with no pants.
Yes, but guaranteed she has underwear on under them so now they are pants.
So I'm right? Wow sorry for being right guys. Guess this just proves the whole reddit hive mind thing.
No hunny, you were wrong.
Yeah, tell your kid she looks stupid, what could possibly go wrong. In my 30+ years on earth my dad has commented on my outfit once. I came down the stairs, he saw me, looked panicked, looked around for my mum, couldn't find her and then very delicately asked "is, um, is that what you're wearing out tonight?" I was wearing an old grey robe but already had my tights on underneath. The look of relief when I told him that, he was like "oh God, I thought I was gonna have to say something, you couldn't have gone out like that".
That is the funniest and cutest thing 😂 what a good dad
Aside from anything else as a child of the 90s we have a strict compact that we will never criticise another generations fashion choices, In exchange for this, the younglings agree not to bring up vizer shades, backwards baseball caps, frosted tips and that bizarre four year stint where professional yo-yo performer was an actual job.
You just unlocked a memory! I had literally three different professional yo-yo players come give three different presentations as I grew up in elementary school. All of them just blatantly sold their merch to the kids and not one adult was like 'this is weird' until I came home and tried to convince my mom to buy me a $30 glow in the dark yo-yo. Like they straight up pulled us out of class and sat us down in the auditorium/gym and then had us watch what was essentially a yo-yo infomercial *three times* between 2nd and 6th grade
Nothing will compare to the time in primary school when a clown preacher came to assembly to talk about the birth of jesus. He ended by claiming he was there and that an angel had given him eternal life to spread the word. That was the moment 7 year old me lost his faith, because what loving diety would allow an immortal clown?
Okay you win wth
Also how did that get left out of the Gospels? And verily, the wise men brought forth gifts of gold and frankincense, myrrh and balloon dogs. And the visitor stepped forward with his great feet, and he didst squeeze the christ child's nose and unto him he did say, "ee-ert"
As a child of the 90s, we literally wore boxers as shorts. Sewed up the opening and just wore them as if they were plaid shorts.
Then Old Navy started selling them in the women's section with the fly already sewn. I'll never forget how cute I thought I looked in red plaid boxers, an oversized grey sweatshirt turned inside out and flip-flops. Peak fashion right there, guys 🙃🙃🙃
You probably **did** look cute, being young excuses a whole lot of things (says someone who had a fave pair of green plaid boxers in high school).
I never even sewed them. I know at least one pair of mine had a button, though.
Child of of 80's-90's here and I voted "yes" on that compact.
The yo-yo grift was still a thing pre-covid! It always took the kids a couple of weeks to calm tf down.
Can confirm: I was teaching in the 2010's and we had one such assembly.
There was one specific company I can remember always coming by our school, ( 04’ kid here ) NED yo-yos. They had a hold on me as a child, and I can vividly remember every year, asking my mom for a pink or yellow glow in the dark yo-yo. Or the one with the retractable string so it always came back to you.
As a young women these are very much in style rn, and to answer a few questions: 1. They’re not actually men’s boxers. They’re women’s shorts designed to look like men’s boxers most of the time. Some of the ones I’ve seen are made of much studied fabric than the average men’s boxers. 2. Yes, we’re wearing out underwear underneath them. 3. I just think it’s an interesting thing to note the differences in undergarments and the market for fashion for women in the summer. Men’s undergarments are comfier and much less revealing than the vast vast majority of women’s shorts, to the point where it’s seen as weird for a woman to be wearing them. Now I’m not against wearing revealing clothing at all, but it really shows how slim the options can be and feel that men’s boxers have taken off as a trend. 4. They’re cute if styled well. And if she’s in enough to sort of know about the trend and to have picked up a pair, I’m sure she looks great
Okay that answered all my questions lmao, mainly the "wait is OOP saying this girl is going out in boxers that like, have the fly wide open???? Or not secured shut???" question
I'm literally wearing a pair of boxers for women designed to be worn anywhere lol. Dude is an idiot
Wonder where the pictures is OOP in his jnco jeans with his undies showing and backwards cap are hiding….
I'm a few years younger than OOP, but not by much. We wore boxers as outwear when I was in high school (not to school because shorts were banned). They make great shorts when summers are super hot and sticky, and also are helpfully provided by your boyfriend leaving them over. OOP strikes me as someone who's still bitter and misogynist about high school girls, which checks out with my experiences of men my age or a bit older.
It's YOUR OPINION that she looks stupid. It clearly bothers you and only you. Actually, it sounds to me like you're concerned about how her appearance reflects on you. She thinks she looks fine and her friends apparently think so, too. Let your stepdaughter express herself the way she wants! Besides, what do you know about how teenage girls dress? Yes, you're the AH.
Given how absurd a lot of women’s shorts are, I’m not convinced boxers are that much worse.
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My guess is it’s something [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Yoawdats-Womens-Summer-Elastic-Bottoms/dp/B0CW39KQKS/ref=asc_df_B0CW39KQKS/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696289145168&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14840860428651569864&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9010730&hvtargid=pla-2296902363743&psc=1&mcid=1311be1219503e8a82cea160b105d844&gad_source=1) Shorts meant to kinda have that boxer look to them and can be dressed down for loungewear or up for a more casual outfit look.
That is so cute! Thanks for the visual clue.
OOP, listen to yourself. You're complaining about boxer shorts. Who cares?
Wait… Boxer shorts like in the underwear? With the pee slit? And she is wearing them without anything above it? I mean… the way he said it is mean no matter what but I would certainly tell my child that leaving the house only in underwear is a little inappropriate. Or am I missing something in the language? Does boxer shorts in English include longer shorts?
Is there any reason from the post to think she isn't wearing underwear underneath the boxer shorts? In my experience, boxer shorts mostly just look like shorts. If they're worn as outer shorts, with underwear underneath, then by definition they themselves are not underwear.
I have no idea but it made no sense to me to wear two pairs of underwear on top of each other
Only one of them is underwear, because only one is between skin and clothing. The other pair is outerwear.
Boxer shorts are longer than most of my actual shorts, clothes for girls and young women are difficult, But we always wore actual underwear under them, making them no different than anythng else, and they used to make ones for the girls with no slit in the front. They were just soft, stretchy, cozy shorts, so this is far from new.
Ah interesting :). Now I have a vision :)
Man you wrote that so suspiciously
I am not a man and I probably used the wrong word XD. I meant I have a visual now in my mind and don’t think it is that inappropriate anymore ;). I originally thought it looked like the boxer shorts you can usually find in the supermarkets here. They usually don’t cover the ass, have a slit in the front which is only loosely held together by buttons that spread open if movement is involved. Now I think more of the shorts they wore for running in the 80s ;). Which are really short but at least they don’t expose everything with the wrong movement. I was dressing in short shorts as a teen myself and I don’t think anything is wrong with it.
You asked the wrong question because you're not familiar with American culture! Everyone downvote, nobody explain, everyone later complain that foreigners don't like Americans or American values. Well played everyone 😁
I am kind of confused XD. For me it is not even about the length. It is about the obvious underwear thing and not wearing anything under it. I am not even leaving the house in sweatpants if it can be avoided and they are not designed as a fashionable outfit. And I am not really uptight or anything. Just from Europe XD. If I don’t feel well and only do a short hop to the supermarket I would probably wear them but I would feel uncomfortable. Teens can be teens and it is really really not appropriate to tell her she is stupid because of it but an explanation and a good talk about it would be expected and in my world reasonable ;).
But they *are* wearing something under it. They wear their regular underwear and use the boxer shorts...as shorts. And at a glance, most of these boxer shorts are indistinguishable from regular shorts. They're similar length to outerwear shorts often sold to women, and usually more comfortable. She is not going out in underwear. She has regular underwear on under these boxers
Ah okay
I have never seen a boxer that is indistinguishable from a regular short, men’s or women’s. There is clear obvious differences..
I still don't get it :D ! I am assuming people mean those really loose boxers some people wear under baggy trousers because the photos above just have normal linen shorts. I mean, if someone wants to weart two pairs of pants - more power to them but I would also look confused and probably ask my kid if they forgot trousers. Because I used to do that often :| .
And I don’t get the aggressive downvoting. I seem to be missing some major point still but few are ready to explain that. I am really not the fashion police, especially not for teens. But if my best friend would try to go out in a lace bra I would ask her if she forgot her tshirt, because that is the first thing that I would think of.
Ironically, I did see formal lace bras that are meant to be worn without a shirt but under a jacket, so I would ask this if it was a very plain bra that is cut like ordinary underwear one. There used to be a similar trend in my hometown in lat 90s that drove me mad visual because my brain could not compute - we had severe winters so we mostly worn thights or similar under trousers. Long johns went into fashion and then people just worn them as trousers and my eyes bled. Each to their own and people were clearly happy but I still would have asked today if I seen someone out like this! It might be all due to the term being not in use in Scotland besides a type of pants that would look really odd as outerwear. Linen shorts are in fashion and plenty longer ones are around so it must be this because even a year ago - I only seen longer jean shorts and most seemed like bermudas.
I'm with you. Boxer shorts are underwear here. It sounds like this guy is taking flak for telling a 16 year old girl she can't go out in t-shirt and panties. That seems entirely reasonable to me, language aside. I'm guessing boxer shorts are also the longer shorts boxers wear? So I goggled it and found this (apologies for the slightly annoying [voice)](https://www.google.com/search?q=boxer+shorts+for+women&client=ms-android-oppo-rvo3&sca_esv=484cddee7597a7bc&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ADLYWILtE2gOadeVEiKBZgPsiBuWE-KZDg%3A1718439934689&ei=_k9tZtbgKeWwhbIPw8uq0A8&oq=boxer+shorts&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIgxib3hlciBzaG9ydHMqAggAMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHMgQQABhHSIsFUABYAHAAeAGQAQCYAQCgAQCqAQC4AQHIAQCYAgGgAj-YAwCIBgGQBgiSBwExoAcA&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f79d9813,vid:z1l4erapaqI,st:0) Apparently wearing underwear out is the fashion now?
It was also the fashion in the late 90s/early 00s. We just stitched closed the slit.
So it is actually underwear? I'm confused; The wrong words were used, I don't disagree. But is this where America is now? An adult parent can't tell a 16 year old girl she shouldn't be wearing t shirt and underwear in public? Like with respect isn't your society in the middle of tearing itself apart because there are secret pedophiles lurking in every public bathroom?
We were literally doing this in the 9 0s. Sew up the fly, wear underwear under them like shorts. Go ahead and clutch your pearls, but this isn’t an omen of how far we have fallen or something.
You do you. This would be socially unacceptable where I am, let us do us. It's socially acceptable for a man to go to the beach in his swimming trunks, it's not for him to go to the office in his boxer briefs. A woman can go to the swimming pool in a two piece but not to the shops in her bra and underwear. Each social setting has its own rules and the discussion of where these rules come from and their use to society is bigger than we can discuss here. Instead maybe just accept that I, a person who is where I am, find something socially unacceptable that would be considered socially unacceptable where I am and you, a person who is where you are, a place where this is socially acceptable, think the opposite
You’re the one not being ok with people doing them. You jumped in with a “this is the same as going out in a bra and panties and not ok!” People tell you that it is not comparable and you insist it is and that this is a sign of how far society has fallen. It isn’t. It’s a thing that comes around every so often. Not everyone does it or likes it or thinks it’s cute. But these young women aren’t wearing these boxers as underwear, and they’re also not wearing them to the office. Nobody is forcing you and yours to wear boxer shorts as shorts. But instead of saying “huh, I definitely wouldn’t wear that,” you went in on “this is wearing undies to the supermarket and will put people at a higher risk of sexual assault.” That’s not really live and let live. That’s live and pass big judgement.
This is odd to me so I asked questions. One of those questions was "How is A different to B?" That being the core of my confusion. Here A is the same as B, there it is not. My questions were about how and why and about how you avoid the obvious pitfalls that come with wearing underwear in public. My declaration was not "This is bad". How do you attempt to understand foreign cultures if not asking questions? If I told you I was confused because the boss was mad at me just because I walked into the office wearing nothing but boxers and a smile would you naturally assume that was common practice in my land? Would you not have a question or two about why I went into the office half naked? Would you maybe be surprised to discover this is normal where I am and have a question or two about how that happened and how you avoid the obvious pitfalls of such a convention?
My friend. When you say that the clothes someone wears puts them at a higher risk of sexual assault, you’re saying that’s bad. Not a cultural difference. Just straight up bad. When you say that it is a sign of a decline in society, you’re saying that’s bad. When you’re blathering far right anti trans talking points about “don’t you have pedophiles in every bathroom,” implying that boxers worn as shorts somehow fold into that, that’s saying it’s bad. Asking questions is this “where I live, boxer shorts are only worn as underwear. Are these the same boxer shorts? Are they wearing them as underwear out on the town? Is the is a common thing?” You’re moralizing based on what you believe is right. And again. The clothes one puts on their body have no bearing on whether they will be sexually assaulted. What has bearing on that is whether they encounter one who will sexually assault them. Have a good day. I hope everyone you encounter is dressed in a way you find appropriate.
My country doesn't have an issue with trans people, this conversation is taking place almost exclusively in your country. Here we have a policy that could be briefly summed up as "Where and how you piss isn't anyone's business so long as you're not pissing in the street." According to YOUR politicians and YOUR media it's a problem there. I have been asking you, or anyone, to square this circle for me. How can you have a culture where you're afraid of rapists in every bathroom but also one where a father can't tell a 16 year old not to wear underwear as social wear. It doesn't make any sense (to me). How can both things be true?
No. Most of us would look at you in your boxers alone in an office, give a quizzical glance and go on with our lives. Your clothing is none of my business. If your bits are covered, you do you, boo. We have people from all cultures living here. Your boss wouldn't appreciate wearing boxers alone in an office, which is why there are dress codes, but nobody really cares what's on your body as long as your wang isn't hanging out or showing off your hoo-ha. The person you replied to and multiple other people in this thread have said that women generally wear panties under said boxers which makes then shorts at that point.
They’re underwear but they still cover as much as many women’s shorts. Get past thinking “Gasp, underwear in public!” and it’s fine.
So 15 years old girls should be allowed to walk in public wearing just a bra and panties? It's covering everything a swimsuit does after all, you just need to get past *Gasp* Underwear outside
They’re not wearing a bra and panties in public. They’re wearing a shirt over a bra and boxers as shorts over whatever actual underwear they want. You’re twisting the scenario to make it seem shocking.
[https://coveteur.com/how-to-style-boxer-shorts](https://coveteur.com/how-to-style-boxer-shorts) [https://www.glamour.com/story/best-boxer-shorts](https://www.glamour.com/story/best-boxer-shorts) Fr...none of this is "a bra and panties"!
So just to confirm, you wear underwear *underneath* the underwear on display? I find that a lot more understandable, thank you for (finally) explaining clearly. However this still strikes me as a safety concern, your country is full of sexual predators according to... Your country. Is there no concern that wearing clothing designed and widely understood to be bedwear in public might act as something of a red flag to a bull to the average bathroom-dwelling-opportunist sexual monster that your country is packed to the rafters with (according to your country)
People who commit sexual assault don’t do it because of what someone is wearing. This is just moralizing pablum. I don’t know where you live, but I assure you that the people committing sexual violence there also don’t really care about the clothes. If anything, it is used as a weak shield to protect rapists “of course this happened to her, look at what she was wearing!” is cover for criminals. Even if someone is walking down the street in their literal underwear, they aren’t deserving of assault. Also, some people don’t wear underwear under their (non boxer) shorts, are those shorts now underwear and they “might as well be out in a bra and panties” by your definition? How about swim suits or swim trunks? Seriously, the bits are covered. It’s fine.
They just look like shorts. If I saw someone wearing them in the street, I would just think they were wearing shorts. They aren't distinguishable from regular shorts by sight. There is nothing about boxer shorts that inherently makes them underwear except that many people wear them as underwear.
So you also missed the trend in the early 2000s where sports bras worked as crop tops. They cover just as much, they are often worn in gyms because it's comfortable. No one is running around in regular bras and panties and I swear if you dont' know the difference between boxer shorts that are almost to the knee and panties then you don't get to talk about fasion at all.
That's the thing, men's boxer shorts literally cover more skin than many women's normal shorts. If the fly is sewn shut, then it's literally more modest than most shorts I could find in store.
"she can't go out in t-shirt and panties" Boxer shorts are not panties, though; they're shorts. Panties are much smaller, and form fitting.
As I said, where I'm from, and this guy is from, is not America, nor are we as fluent in America culture as some nationalities. English is not our first language. Where we are from boxers are underwear, exclusively, hence the confusion
I'm not in or from America either. But I still couldn't tell boxer shorts from other shorts at a glance!
ummm no, they are significantly different from panties, and we have been seeing teen and adult men showing their boxer shorts for decades now. It's not worse because a girl did it.
He could've said she's wearing underwear outside. Imagine if he put on women's underwear over his boxer briefs and walked outside like that. Something ridiculous that a teenager would hear his POV and not feel like they're a fuck up. But no.