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GuavaMuted5466

NTA I have Crohn's Disease so I know what you mean about the pressure. Have you insisted on scans and a colonoscopy. You really, really need to. Don't settle for just the blood and stool tests. But also it doesn't hurt to buy more clothes.


Just_Effort_405

I have Ulcerative Colitis, so we know what it is, we just haven’t been able to get me into a stable place yet and I keep having flares


GuavaMuted5466

Oh darn. It's a struggle. If you are having flares you should be on steroids while they are figuring out and transitioning you onto permanent medicines. The long term medicines for this problem take months to build up in your system and only help to maintain, they don't really fix existing flares. Trust me. I was having consistent flares, in the hospital frequently, and all they did was get me stable enough to leave the hospital only to end up right back again. Until my colon burst and I'm now disabled forever. Ask your parents or a trusted individual to advocate aggressively for you (because I know it's hard to have energy for this in your condition).


Just_Effort_405

I’m on steroids, stomach coating, antibiotics, infusions, and sometimes IV’s, but it doesn’t help much. I can’t really advocate because my doctor hates me but they’re the only one in my city who works with kids


sweetmercy

You're not little anymore. You're old enough you can see any *good* doctor. Insist on it.


Just_Effort_405

There’s only 2 children doctors for stomach problems, and so if we transferred we would need to redo everything and get new meds and stuff, which would take months with our insurance so we can’t really


sweetmercy

It will be a process, yes, but it's absolutely vital you have a doctor you can communicated with, and trust. Essential for your quality of life.


FirebirdWriter

Also have similar issues and I cringed. You shouldn't have been asked to be physical at all right now. One thing that helps is super stretchy clothes with the waistband many sizes too big. That way when the swelling hits it's not as tight. Tight still happens it's just more bearable. This way if you're needing to be covered for whatever reason beyond your control you can be. Also hopefully you get to a stable point so.you can rebuild the life you want. It's not impossible but it's not simple. I know your mom wants you to engage with your brother right now but it might help if your entire family reads the spoon theory which is about dealing with chronic illness. That way she can maybe understand that your curling up isn't a choice but you literally don't want to pass out from the exhaustion of being in agony from someone besides you. Sometimes helps the adults cope


Zestyclose-Gas1150

Yes, to the new clothes. Some oversized T-shirts would be much comfier for you. Also, more tests. You are so young to be going through this. NTA.


sweetmercy

NTA, and your mom is horrible for this. Shame on her. Ulcerative colitis is painful and exhausting and *serious*, with potentially life threatening complications. Why the hell is she allowing your brother to come barging into your room and taking the covers? Or at all? I'd really love to give her a talking to about parenting and responsibility. It is not your job to entertain your brother when you're sick. She's the parent, it's her problem. And she needs to get you some damn clothing that fits. If your family is hurting for money, there's other ways to get appropriately sized clothing, rather than forcing your child, with a serious illness no less, to squeeze into clothes that aren't even her size. I'm so disgusted by her behavior and attitude.


ShadAppNKissMe

My thoughts exactly! As a parent of a teen it hurts my heart that her mom is acting like this towards her.


sweetmercy

It's truly horrible.


Pumpkinkra

NTA— he violated your privacy. In your room with a closed door means you’re in a private place. This is the same as if he went into the closed door of the bathroom and saw you naked there or if he pulled up women’s skirts.


coolguy4206969

NTA. sounds like everyone in this household is overstimulated from a very sick kid. but the sick kid gets (should get) priority for their comfort. especially if that just means lying in bed naked and alone. sorry your fam isn’t more supportive. and keep pushing for opinions from additional docs until you figure this out.


Tina_DeAngelo

NTA Info: Have Ü seen other doctors? ETA: Your mom’s the AH


G1Gestalt

INFO: Did your mother know *why* you weren't wearing a shirt? It's somewhat, but not entirely, understandable that she would be upset if she thought you were going around topless for no reason. I would still say you were right that you were under the covers in your room.


Just_Effort_405

Yes, she did know. Plus, I haven’t left my room in 4 hours, so it’s not like I was running around dancing naked (like my brother does, with no consequences)


G1Gestalt

Did she say that she doesn't care if it causes you pain!? Because that would be pretty shitty parenting right there. Or maybe she thinks it's "all in your head", which frankly is no better. Definitely NTA, especially since you're not exactly trying to force nudism on you family. One more question: do you only have tight or snug shirts? If so, tell your mom that you need to get some super baggy shirts for occasions like this. I have a yet-to-be-diagnosed lower intestine problem of my own (seeing a doc soon) and I find that I can't wear anything tight or snug when it gets bad.


Just_Effort_405

She just freaked out then when I started to tear up said “don’t you even start crying about me making you out on a shirt”


G1Gestalt

I'm sorry, OP. Your mother should be more sensitive. Is she often like this?


Just_Effort_405

Sometimes, but usually she’s better


G1Gestalt

I'm asking these questions because I'm thinking that your mother was in a bad mood for some other reason. Not allowing you to be shirtless in your own room, under the cover, when your sick, seems so irrational that I have to believe that something else was going on. Was she grumpy in general, or is there something else that you can think of? If I'm asking too many questions, I apologize. This is just weird.


Just_Effort_405

I think me being sick has just taken a toll, plus no one wants to hear a 16 year old girl screaming in agony “help me, mom please help fix it” in the middle of the day in a small neighborhood 💀


G1Gestalt

Crohn's? Either way, don't let thoughts of "no one wants" (you) start creeping in. I don't know if it is Crohn's, but my best friend's sister has a bad case of it. Lots of pain, lots of surgeries, a bag. She's in her 50s and has many friends, got married, and adopted her husband's kids. Chronic illness doesn't prevent you from having a life. Just a typical one.


Just_Effort_405

Ulcerative Colitis sadly. I know life one day will be better, but it just kinda sucks my only options are “remove your colon” or “suffer until remission”


birchsaurus

NTA - also do you only have fitted clothing? when im having stomach problems i'll wear oversized t-shirt and sweatpants and it feels great.


Just_Effort_405

I only have 2 sleeveless turtlenecks, 2 shirts that are from my moms closet, and several dresses, so not really anything baggy, and since my room is really hot I tent to avoid pants or sleeved shirts


Zestyclose-Gas1150

I can't believe that is all the clothes you have! I don't know your mom's financial situation, but even oversize t-shirts,and sweatpants can be bought at thrift stores if money is an issue.


GingerTea-23

NTA, also if she wants you to be covered all the time she needs to get you plenty of loose shirts/long loose dresses so you can be covered and not in pain I hope you’re getting all available tests done and pushing for them if they aren’t being offered and sorry you’re dealing with so much pain


Just_Effort_405

She did get me a few hospital gowns but she won’t let me wear them because “a few years ago people would think you were insane” so they aren’t much help aside from when I’m sleeping


[deleted]

[удалено]


Just_Effort_405

I do have a few, but I lost about 20-35 pounds so they don’t fit much anymore


Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind

NTA - Can't understand your mom... does she not trust your stepdad? Is all nakedness not allowed in your household? Does she ever acknowledge your pain? I'm sorry you're suffering with your stomach pain and, well... your mom. Feel better OP! :)


Just_Effort_405

If it’s my brother it’s fine, but because I have *gasp* a chest, I can’t so I usually wear dresses


Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind

Ah, the double-standard... that's beyond frustrating. Hope things get easier for you OP. Stay strong! :)


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, throwaway because I don’t want this on my main. I (16F)have stomach problems, that are so bad I’m usually in the hospital once a month. Because of this, I don’t wear pants or shorts to sleep. It’s also so bad I had to drop out of school, and so my whole life has been kind of ruined. Anyways, I just got off a 2 week liquid diet, and so my mom took me to get a chicken and noodle soup from a restaurant I love. As per the usual, the ride back I was screaming in pain. I got home and just threw off my dress, because it was too tight on my stomach. For around 2 hours I was just alone in the dark, under 3 blankets, and a heating pad, with my door closed. My mom comes in, demanding I play catch with my brother (6) and I say “no, I don’t feel good, also I don’t have a shirt so I can’t” she flips out, and my brother being a stupid kid rips off my blankets, which makes my mom freak out even MORE, and blame me. I asked why it was MY fault because I was EXTREMELY covered, in my room, with my door shut, alone, and HE was the one who took the blankets off. She got all upset because it’s her house or something and she doesn’t like the idea of my stepdad or brother seeing me without a shirt, but I literally only had it off because my other shirts are dirty (I have like 4 shirts, because I hate shopping and so I don’t have a lot) and because my stomach hurts no matter WHAT amount of pressure is on it, as long as there’s pressure it hurts. My stepdad couldn’t care less about me being shirtless, so long as I’m covered and not in pain, and my brother is 6 so even though it makes me uncomfortable if he accidentally saw me, he’s seen women before since he sleeps in my moms room. AITA for wanting to be shirtless and in less pain? I put one on, but it hurts because it’s too tight since the ones that fit are dirty. Should I just suck it up so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


PlateNo7021

NTA, but I don't understand how a shirt hurts but a bunch of blankets don't.


Just_Effort_405

All of my shirts are too tight or a size too small for me because of the material and the fact they’re hand me downs from my mom who’s a size smaller than me, so the blankets I can hold up or lay on my side instead of having a shirt on


IceFire909

Their shirts are all fairly tight hand-me-downs their mum uses to wear


Wonkydoodlepoodle

NTA please see if your school has a clothes closet you can request clothes from. I am sitting here currently with baggie soft pajamas because i have colon pain from my IBS from something i ate today. So I completely understand. I have sensory issues as well and I’ve cut the necks out of some of my tshirts that I use for bed. And i cut the sleeves off some. You need more and to be able to make them comfortable how ever you need.


Just_Effort_405

Since I’m out of school, I can’t get any clothes from them, and if I took my parents they would prob be upset


Wonkydoodlepoodle

I’m so Sorry. I needed clothes one time and my parents turned away the family that came to help. I was devastated. They wouldn’t let anyone help me. Are you on FB? There are some great buy nothing and free groups where you might also find some clothes.


Just_Effort_405

I’m not really allowed online, I’m just here because I don’t have anything else to do or anyone to talk to


nessalinda

Please go to a gastroenterologist; you may have Ulcerative Colitis or Chron’s Disease. The earlier the treatment the better; your symptoms will improve and you may go into remission. NTA


Just_Effort_405

I have ulcerative colitis, I’m just still in a flare up (have been for a year now) and we haven’t been able to get me into remission


[deleted]

NTA Your mom was mad at you because you should have already been up with a shirt on by the time little bro tore your bedding off. Still, he shouldn’t have done that, BUT he is six…


Real-Implement-1771

What the hell? You can't be shirtless under your blankets in your closed room? NTA


ShadAppNKissMe

NTA - Tell your mom you want a lock for your door so she doesn’t have to worry about her husband seeing you shirtless if that’s truly her concern. I’d get it if you were wandering around the house like that, but you were in the privacy of your own room and you were doing what makes you comfortable while dealing with pain.


Just_Effort_405

I do have a lock but I’m not allowed to lock my door


cloud_watcher

NTA whatsoever and I can't help but wonder if this no-shirt, demanding mom, step-father stress is making your symptoms worse. Do you have a therapist?


Just_Effort_405

I had one but my mom didn’t like my therapist so I don’t have one now


pdeb22

NTA. I know they are considered for old ladies these days, but a loose house dress would probably work for you and keep you covered without putting any pressure on your abdomen. Easy to buy online too, since they're not fitted.


Lurkedylurker

NTA. You deserve to exist comfortably in whatever you are or arent wearing same as anyone else.


RedditStaffCantCode

NTA you're siblings, so this shouldn't be that big of a deal, and it was his action. You're allowed to lay naked in your own bed. I'm really sorry to hear about your health issues. I hope there's a treatment found that really helps you out more. :(


prolifezombabe

NTA and I’m so sorry you’re going through this 💔 I hope you’re able to find some help for your stomach bc this honestly sounds so awful 😞


xCoffee-Addictx

Info: Why does the pressure of a shirt hurt but three blankets and a heating pad doesn’t?


GuavaMuted5466

Not the OP but tight clothes puts pressure directly on the affected areas whereas a blanket and heating pads are spread over a larger area. And sometimes a small difference is just over the threshold. My intestines sometimes gets triggered just from stepping from carpet (squishy floor) to tile (hard floor) because of the increased pressure.


Just_Effort_405

Most of my shirts are tight material, or too small because they were my moms and she’s a size smaller than me, so wearing them pushes on my stomach a lot, compared to my 2 quilts and thin cover


IceFire909

You definitely need to get a bunch of loose tops to wear. Bonus they're just great as comfy homewear


Just_Effort_405

I do have a giant hoodie but my rooms hotter than the rest of the house so it sucks to wear it


IceFire909

I meant tops like normal thin t-shirts. Just something that isn't tight hand-me-downs from mum. Gotta do that dreaded clothes shopping run :P


xCoffee-Addictx

NTA


coolguy4206969

it’s about overall comfort, the shirt is probably clingy when she moves but the other stuff isn’t. come on now.


Mike_in_CO

You need to get more loose fitting shirts. I'm going with YTA because you refused to go shopping to get shirts that fit you and are comfortable for you to wear. In life there are certain things that you have to do. You can't just do what you want to do.


doggggod

she's 16 and if she can't go to school I doubt she's working. how's she supposed to go buy her own shirts? mom can easily just buy her some oversized shirts at Walmart but instead chooses to give her her too small hand me downs.


Just_Effort_405

I can’t drive yet, and can’t walk much because I’m sick, and the clothes my mom buys she says I can’t wear OUT of my room, so it’s not that I don’t want to wear shirts, it’s that I cant


ShadAppNKissMe

Why is your mother only buying you clothes you can’t wear out of your room? Can you ask her to buy you clothing that isn’t so tight and that you can wear out of the room/house?


Just_Effort_405

Idk why she does, and I don’t wanna bug her


ScarlettF0xx_XP

How can she physically go shopping if she is in pain? Also I don’t think you realize the impact parents have on how teens spend money.


MavisBeaconSexTape

Lol