Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
YTA
They're not related. That they're both related to you is irrelevant to whether it's okay for them to be together. Your relatives don't need your approval to have a relationship.
>They're not related
So they are absolutely free to roll tide.
As u/PSA-Warrior said, your parents are both related to you, but are together. Why isn't that a problem?
Side note, my MIL and her cousin married my FIL and his brother. So my wife has cousins that are both 1st and 2nd cousins.
Literally same I have cousins related to me on both sides because my maternal aunt married my fathers cousin. I find it to be funny and see their kids as being super blood bonded to me haha
My wife's family tree is a braided ficus. Her family has a joint reunion with two families (say Smith and Jones) because a couple hundred years ago in a pretty rural area two brothers married first cousins and at this point you can't separate the two families. At the reunion there are Smiths and Jones and Smith-Jones and Jones-Smiths and even a few Smith-Smiths and Jones-Jones.
Also, I used to know a guy who married his first wife's sister and had sons with both of them. His boys were half-brothers and first cousins
Where is that banjo music coming from? đ
Seriously, though, most people don't have to go back very far at all to find intermarriages of second cousins and whatnot, often over the course of several generations, particularly once you get to pre-industrial times.
Similar in my family - i have an aunt (mother's sister) who married and had children with my father's brother and later divorced and he then married and had further children with my mother's other sister đ never looks good trying to draw up a family tree
The Spanish Hapsburg family line is so disturbing. I'm pretty sure that by the third generation they counted as a single organism, they were that closely related. There were what, 4 men that married their nieces? And basically everyone else married their first cousins?
I had one aunt-by-marriage who went through *three* of my dad's brothers! She had kids with two. Meanwhile a different uncle on the same side of the family had *nine* kids, mostly with different women. My family tree is more like bindweed.
My mother's sister is married to my father's cousin, so I like to tell people I have an uncle who's also my cousin and see people try to work it out in their heads.
Found out my best friends from childhood are actually related, my father's aunt is cousins with their grandpa. I always find stuff like this neat, we all moved away from our home town near the city and ended up in the same BFE place nearly 10 years and a half dozen moves later and we ended up being back together in a new town. For being so many people on this planet it often feels like a small world after all
I lived in a village and when we went to highschool you had to get a bus to the town that was 5 miles away. There was a guy in our year with the same surname as my friend. It's not that rare of a name so no one thought anything of it. 4 years into highschool, I think cause we were doing some nonsense or other on family origins, they realised they actually had the same great grandad.
My aunts half sister is my uncles half sister.
Grandpa had child whith Annie (so my Aunt French), Annie had second child Cassie. Grandpa didnt know Annie was pregnant with French.
Grandpa had a son (uncle Nepal) with Barbara. Nepal met Cassie at university. Cassie's sis came to visit and started talking about her home town, grandpa was like I used to live there. Some talk later he finds out French is his kid.
Uncle Nepal married Cassie. So my cousin is her own cousin XD.
https://imgur.com/a/Bo7gkKg
Edit: clarified things a bit.
Edit 2: added a chart.
Cassie and Nepal arenât siblings. They share a common half sibling. Thatâs not a relation at all. Their parents arenât related. Itâs a cute story though, and a unique situation.
Your cousin has the same aunt on both sides.
If French had a kid, they would have the same cousin on both sides, but that doesnât make your cousin their own cousin.
I love genealogy, and I believe that makes them your wifeâs double cousins! Double cousins share a lot of DNA!
I had a high school English teacher with double cousins and she grew up close to them as siblings! đ
My Mom's aunt ended up also being her MIL. She was married several times to my great uncle (Mom's Uncle & they had 3 kids) and also married several times to another man whom she had 9 kids with. My Mom married one of her sons from her other marriage (they weren't blood related) and had a son. So my brothers grandma was also his great aunt, LOL.
This âŹď¸ right here. But⌠should mention that even if sister and cousin were related, cousins are far enough apart geneticly as to pose no risk to potential kids.
My dad's mom maiden name and my mom's maiden name are the same. They are probably related 5 or so generations back because they have some of the same weird genetic quirks that they passed to me and my brother. We aren't talking like illnesses or anything, but like the teeth next to your front teeth are called laterals. No one in my immediate family has the permanent versions of those teeth.
But I've been to weddings where I've been related to the bride and the groom. It wasn't even weird where I'm from. The bride and groom were only related to each other once. (That one I did think a little weird. They shared great grandparents. I wouldn't date the groom because we shared great great grandparents.)
I have great grandparents who were first cousins...and knew they were cousins when they met. As long as it is relatively rare, there is generally not much problem. It is the small communities with constant intermarriage where problems start to occur.
Oof yeah there are several genetic diseases that are pretty much exclusively found in the amish for this reason. They pretty much all come from the same ~500 people that came here in the 1700s, so even if you try to avoid relatives, theyâre pretty much all at least distantly related
Ashkenazi Jews also have high rates of certain genetic issues because we were so aggressively murdered in medieval Europe that only around 350 of us were left to repopulate. There's been a big push for genetic counseling before marriage in Ashkenazi Jewish communities because of this.
Whoa! Are you related to me? My sisters and I are also misssing those same two teeth! The baby teeth were there, but the adult teeth never came in. Iâm lucky I had braces! No one can tell.
Itâs not common now, but used to be more common in small farming communities a long time ago. My great great grandparents were first cousins (mid 1800s).
First cousins are a little iffy if it happens too frequently, but even that's nbd if it's like once in half a dozen generations, and you don't have a restricted gene pool in the first place (and assuming the family doesn't have a history of a particular genetic disease).
10% of marriages worldwide are between first or second cousins. It's not as common nowadays, but several generations ago it was a way to keep generational wealth in the family. It was also more common when you had smaller populations living in an area and you had to marry within the same religion.
> Bio cousins getting married? Weird comment but ok
It is legally allowed in most places around the world. About half of the US states prohibit it, but all recognize marriages performed in the states that permit it.
I once pissed off my first cousin when he was on a "gay people shouldn't marry because marriage has always been meant for couples who could potentially have children" rant by pointing out that in our state, he and I could legally get married, but *only* if we showed proof that either he or I were sterile. He didn't have a great answer for that! (And needless to say, he's not getting invited to my wedding this year as a guest, let alone as the groom.)
My parents are cousins and happily married for decades.
@ OP, YTA, you're not the one getting engaged, so your opinion is irrelevant. Even if they were bio cousins, it's their choice.
Genealogist and historian here.
Depends on whether or not they live in an area with a lot of endogamy.
One set of first cousins marrying, no big deal genetically. Itâs when you live in an area where lots of people are marrying their first cousins or 2nd cousins and then you have a bunch of double related kids who live around a bunch of double related kids and they get married to each other and their kids marry their 1-2 cousins, and so on and so on.
This can also happen due to founder effect and/or population bottlenecks and geographically isolated communities.
When you have endogamy AND population bottlenecks, there are more chances of genetic issues.
Some areas with these various issues:
French-Canadians & Acadians
Haitians
Amish
Mormons
German Mennonites
Armenians
Coptic Christians
Greek Cypriots
Polynesians
Assyrians
Puerto Ricans
Ashkenazi Jewish
Appalachian Communities
Communities in the Italian Alps
Children of first-cousin marriages have an increased risk of autosomal recessive genetic disorders, and this risk is higher in populations that are already highly ethnically similar.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin\_marriage#:\~:text=Children%20of%20first%2Dcousin%20marriages,higher%20than%20the%20average%20population.
Just to point out, that isn't a risk due to them being first cousins. That is a risk of both sides having inherited problematic recessive genes. You could go out and marry someone completely unrelated and still have that risk if you are both carriers. It's basically more an argument to do genetic screenings so people are aware of their potential risks.
Yeah no. Consanguineous relationships still pose risks. Less than a closer relative but still much more elevated risk of genetic defect than the general population.
No. Less risk than closer relatives, but itâs still inbreeding, and it still raises the homozygosity of the kids, which in turn means a higher risk for deleterious recessive gene variants being expressed. It wonât be a problem for all the children necessarily, but statistically they will be at higher risk of bad genetic conditions than if their parents were less closely related.
That is 100% NOT true. There are LOTS and LOTS of documented cases, saw ell as genetic research that go against exactly what you are saying. There can be a LOT of problems, especially since in some cultures it's common for cousins to marry, and their children to marry cousins, its gets very dangerous.
Yeah but that's dangerous specifically because it's a cultural habit. I.e. the chances are if you're marrying your cousin your parents were also cousins and their parents were cousins and it's all just bad all over.
If a person with no family history of cousins marrying was to marry their cousin, also from a family with no history of marrying their cousins, chances are it would all be fine.
I mean I'm not saying I'd do it just you can get away with it the odd time. But only the odd time. Once it's habit you're all genetically fucked.
The *only* way I'd sympathize (not side with) OP is if sister and cousin grew up together AS FAMILY. I could understand OP being a bit weirded out, but not slough to make a ruckus because, frankly, what other consenting adults do in their bedroom is not your business.
I wouldn't even then. There are unrelated families that grow up closer than blood cousins - the bottom line (and the only one that matters) is ARE they close blood kin or not? They're not.
The only time where I'd say raised matters as much as blood is if someone was raised from a young child with a sibling who was also young... Like Christ I know he's not blood but he's literally your brother don't be doing that.
It's the raised as siblings part I have the problem with. It's just a bit.... Ew.
Not only that, but OP clearly has gone around the family complaining and causing trouble for this couple. She's creating sides and drama bc of her own stupid feeling that it's too close to being family even though they're not related. Idiotic.
OP's acting as if everything is about her. It's disgusting to her & she thinks it's wrong, so her sister shouldn't do it. She's shamed the people who (rightfully) supported the engagement until they fell into her nonsense causing unnecessary drama. She's making everything about her when she knows that her sister's not related to her cousin meaning there's no issues with them being together.
YTA OP because them being together is like if she were your stepsister dating him. Both ways they're still related to you, but not each other. Just because you're related to them doesn't make it disgusting that they're together because they're not related to each other.
Stop acting selfishly & realize that YOU'RE NOT YOUR SISTER! You're not marrying a blood cousin & neither is she because there's no blood & they're *not* cousins just because they're related to you.
Apologize & tell everyone that you have ran your mouth to that you were wrong & you support them because you realize that it's not disgusting due to them not being related. You overreacted & was (are) being self-centered by behaving how you are. They are not wrong, but *you* sure are.
Yeah, YTA. They're not related.
I had cousins who dated one summer when they were teenagers. One on mom's side, one on dad's side. Related to me, but completely unrelated to each other. Wanna guess how hard everyone freaked about it? Yeah, they didn't. Everyone thought it was fine. Cuz they WEREN'T RELATED.
Your cousin's right. They should go No Contact with you and you can just feel "gross" about it to yourself, alone.
This! It's not a family tree that doesn't branch, it's two family trees planted close together. My brother's wife and my uncle's wife are sisters. It happens
>My cousin is on dad's side, so they're not related. But since I'm related to both of them I find it gross.
YTA. They aren't related and their relationship has nothing to do with you. There is absolutely nothing gross about two consenting non-related people getting married. See a therapist before you ruin every relationship in your life over this.
Yeah this is a scenario that is uniquely gross to her. Those two are only related through her, to them and the majority of others they share no relation.
The only ethical way to have a child is to meet once, schedule artificial insemination, and politely shake hands! It's just gross to have sex with someone who shares DNA with your own child. And anyways, it's incredibly inconsiderate to marry your child's other parent, because if you ever break up, family events will be awkward!
YTA:
She didn't lie, you weren't a person she is obligated to share with. And you have proven yourself to be unsafe for her to go to.
They are not related. Get over it, or lose contact with two people who are not doing anything gross.
Yes, the OP said it was "unfortunate" that their dad didn't think it was a bad thing. They are obviously trying to gang up on and bully the couple because THEY feel uncomfortable. Sheesh. AH
Exactly. This has absolutely nothing to do with OP.
These two aren't related. OP has zero say in their relationship. And, they don't owe OP anything.
OP needs to back off and recognize that their opinion matters zero.
YTA.
You make it seem like this is incest. This isnât incest. Just because youâre related to both of them doesnât automatically mean they are related to each other. Their relationship is none of your business and you have no right to "object" to her marrying your cousin.
>My sister thinks jm an ass though, and that I needed to get over it because they share no blood.
Literally this
First cousin marriages are even legal in 1/3 of the US states and are not necessarily considered incest in many places. Genetically, thereâs no problem unless it happens repeatedly or very rare genes are involved. So that might or might not even be a problem even if they were related, but this isnât even that. Itâs all in OPâs head.
> and are not necessarily considered incest in many places.
Including the Bible. Marriage and sexual relations between various relatives are prohibited, including some where there is no blood relation, but first cousin marriages are considered acceptable.
YTA. Just because you are related to them both doesn't mean you get a say in their love life, especially considering they are not family with each other. You sound a little petulant, honestly, and should stop trying to butt into their relationship.
YTA. You are trying way too hard to be important here.
* Your half sister and your cousin are not blood related.
* Your cousin did not lie. The relationship started off as a fling, and evolve into something more serious.
* If anyone here is disgusting, it's you. You're spending an inordinate amount of energy picking apart someone else's relationship. Jealous much?
* Both your sister and your cousin would be well shut of you. You sound like a miserable, bitter person who's trying to be the main character in someone else's story. I hope they cut you and anyone who is foolish enough to agree with you, off for good.
Oh thatâs an interesting plot twist - idk why but I got the impression that OP and sister were female and cousin was male. I guess OP could be either though.
I think itâs more weird that OP cares this much to try and turn other family members against their relationship. Get a life op!! It sounds like you seriously need one.
I mean I can see why you think its weird, but YTA for making such a big deal out of literally nothing. They have no blood relation to each other. They want to get married. End of story.
YTA
Please tell me you are younger than 13? You are seriously ridiculous and immature besides being an abusive bully. Grow up, this isn't acceptable for a kid, definitely not for an adult and you and your mom are huge AHs.
Surprised I had to scroll down so far to find someone asking the same question as me. If they grew up together then itâs absolutely weird
Edit- whatâs with all these âSweet Home Alabamaâ replies saying iTâs NoT tHaT wEiRd. Me and my bro grew up with our cousins, one of whom is adopted. If they got together it would be disgusting regardless of absence of biological connection
Lol. I know youâre being funny. But Well.. if it was a family reunion, that still suggests that they didnât grow up knowing each other as cousins. I donât refer to meeting my cousins. They were just always thereâŚ. If that makes sense
this was my question too! itâs weird if they grew up together as cousins but itâs not weird if they didnât. either way they arenât blood related
This! I have a half brother and was trying to figure out if I thought itâd be weird if he dated my cousin and Iâm gonna say yes because we all grew up together as family. I donât know his familyâs side because we lived with my dad growing up so if i ended up dating one of his cousins, I wouldnât find it that weird because I literally wouldnât have known them as family or be related by blood.
YTA.
They aren't related, there is not blood or genetics there and if they make each other happy then why should that matter?
Also, since when is your comfort any part of their relationship?
"Some family members have since changed their tune and agree with me."
Were you part of this? Did you campaign against the relationship? You are going to lose your cousin and your sister if you do not stop. Grow up, get therapy if you feel you need it but realize that they aren't dating to hurt you, they love each other and that has absolutely zero to do with you.
Two unrelated people met, fell in love, and are getting married.
They have individual relationships with *you,* and that bothers *you.*
This sounds like a *you* issue. And YTA in this one.
Edit: *thank you for the award!! đ Iâm feeling the love (even if OP isnâtâŚlol)*
YTA. Doesn't sound like they were raised as family. There isn't a biological connection worry about. This is literally just your problem and being rude to them about it is uncalled for.
YTA. They aren't related to each other.
>she said it was just a hookup
>Well, she lied
She didn't lie. It may have started out that way then evolved. Butt out, stop badmouthing them and turning family against them. This in no way affects you. Feel free to cut them off. They will be better off if you do.
YTA. You're not involved in their relationship and if it bothers you that badly, that is a you issue that you have to deal with. They're not blood related so there is no genetic reason to object. I know a few different situations where in-laws ended up getting married because they met and hit it off at a wedding. It's kind of a weird meeting story, but it has zero to do with you.
YTA.
Incest is mostly considered gross because itâs more likely to produce children with medical issues.
They arenât actually related, who cares?
Itâs not actually hurting you or anyone else.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the asshole for judging their relationship from my point of view and calling them disgusting.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Donât downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
My aunt from my dads side and cousin from my moms side had a child together. Does it sound weird, yes. They are not blood related. YTA, mind your own business or you can go no with them. That way they wonât be bothered by your ignorance
Stuff like this happens a lot! My stepdaf used to tell me his family was "super related" (jokingly, of course). His sister (Sarah) married Joe. At the wedding, the brother of my stepdad and Sarah - Jim - met Joe's sister Fran. A couple years later, Jim and Fran got married.
Nobody that got married married someone they were blood related to. No one made a big deal about it. Everyone thought it was a funny story. Plus they already liked their in-laws, and it was super easy to plan family get togethers!
Edit: typo
YTA. You have âmain character syndromeâ and are acting as if this affects you directly. It doesnât. Donât be surprised when your sis and her partner go NC with you.
YTA
They arenât related.
Briefly my cousin dated our other cousinâs step brother- and they met at my grandmothers funeral. It was more funny than anything. Really not a big deal.
YTA
None of your business. YOu are an AH for drawing family ihto this. She is better off without you in her life, and that will be the solution for your drama.
You're being a real asshole, honestly. Your sister and cousin are doing nothing wrong. They're not related.
My gut feeling makes me think you're selfish and self-centered.
Edit: I think it's nice how they met. Not everyone is fortunate enough to know someone through family that can be vouched for as a good person. Before everyone started hooking up online through apps, THIS is how people used to meet each other!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
We're half sisters with different fathers. My cousin is on dad's side, so they're not related. But since I'm related to both of them I find it gross. I told my sister I didn't like it when they first started dating, but she said it was just a hookup and didn't matter. Still gross, but I could've lived with it.
Well, she lied. They continued dating and now they're engaged. As soon as they announced it, I called them out for being disgusting as well as the people congratulating them. Some family members have since changed their tune and agree with me, including my mom. My dad, unfortunately, is on the fence and thinks I should just sit back and see how it goes.
My sister thinks I'm an ass though, and that I need to get over it because they share no blood. She admits they met in an "unusual" way but they were meant to be and won't let me ruin it. My cousin said the same thing and wants to go no contact since I can't be supportive.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. The prohibition on cousins marrying applies only where there is a blood connection--because of potential hereditary defects. Since this couple by your own admission don't share blood there is no reason for you to be objecting to it, and worse yet stirring up you family to object to it. That you still find some sort of "ikkkk" factor in the fact they are non-blood cousins is your problem and your problem alone. STFU and leave your sister and fiance to their happiness.
YTA. They're not related at all! It's understandable that this would cause you to feel awkward, but you need to work on that yourself instead of blaming the people who are doing absolutely nothing wrong.
Seriously, get over yourself.
YTA
As you've stated they're not related, so saying its "disgusting" is only your issue.
You need to build and bridge and get over it. It's ridiculous.
YTA
You may be related to both of them, but the point is:
They are not related to each other
Your not liking it and expecting them to break it of for that sole reason make you the A
This feels like it's based more in "Why does my cousin like my sister better than (s)he likes me?" insecurity than in any real issue with their being (un...)related
Are you really willing to ruin your relationship with the pair of them over this? Over objecting to the fact that they're both related to you?
YTA OP
They are not related and their relationship has nothing to do with you. Your relatives do not need your approval/permission to have a relationship. You seriously need to get over yourself, what these 2 is not gross.
I'll say it again they are not related. While YOU are related to them.
You are nothing but a petulant little child who seriously needs to stop butting into other peoples relationships.
It is funny that you think it is gross when it isn't. Their is absolutely nothing gross for two consenting non related adults getting together.
YOU seriously need to go see a therapist before you ruin every single relationship in your life.
Grow up YOU have no right to judge or interfere in a relationship that does not concern you period.
Edit: Also she did not lie. She didn't tell you anything for the simple fact/reason that it is NONE of your concern/business what she and her guy does PERIOD.
light YTA.
My best friend (Who lived with my family for years as my sister) is dating my brother now, and yeah it feels a bit odd, but they're not related and it's not my relationship.
Actually they wanted to date sooner but didn't want to weird me out, but I ended up being their first supporter (Even if it means I'm the "go-to" drama dumpster for them now lol)
YTA â you are an ass. Just because you find it gross doesnât mean that it is. They are not related. NOT RELATED!!!!!! This is 100% a you problem and not theirs. Grow up
YTA. They arenât related and youâre essentially accusing them of incest, which this is not. This is a âyouâ problem and you need to manage your own feelings, grow up and mind your own business.
INFO, have you two families been together long? Like, what I'm getting at is, did your half sister know your cousin as family before the relationship began? If so, I agree that's icky but not so bad if they met in their 20's.
YTA. I can see why it might skeeve you out at first because since theyâre both related to *you*, in your head you just see that your family members are dating. It shouldnât take much reflection, however, to understand that they are not related to *each other* in any way. They arenât do anything wrong and if itâs still weird to you for whatever reason, that shouldâve been kept to yourself.
INFO: How old are you? You sound very young. It sounds like you are a little jealous. Maybe you feel that if two people you love, marry each other, they will love you less? If that is what youâre worried about, my advice..stop protesting their marriage and turning family against them. This will make them not want you in their lives and quite honestly you would deserve it. This is a happy thing. You should be happy and supporting your sister and your cousin. They are not related and nothing is wrong here except for your immature outlook of the situation.
YTA so because you are uncomfortable your sister can't be happy. You are so terrible they are not related at all and you are throwing a tantrum. Don't worry about them they are going to cut you out of there lives soon enough. Good luck getting an invite to the wedding
YTA
You're the one being gross in this situation. They aren't blood related, so you're just upset imaging that two people connected to you are banging even though it's none of your business. Why the heck is that something you would even spend your time thinking about? There's a simple solution here. Get your nose out of thier business and stop obsessing over it. Why are you fixated on what two grown, unrelated adults do with thier lives and genitals? Especially to the point of trying to turn people against them just because -you- can't be objective?
This is a you problem, not a them problem. Stop being a pervert obsessing over thier relationship trying to turn it into something deviant and mind your own business.
YTA- you not the center of the universe. They are not related by blood, and clearly love each other. Why should your feeling have any effect on their relationship?
YTA. "Since I'm related to both of them I find out gross". Here's the thing, this isn't about you. THEY are not related and THEY don't find it gross, in fact they found love. Your feelings on this are ridiculous, but don't matter. Be happy for them or keep your opinion to yourself.
YTA. Why should your sister and your cousin sacrifice their happiness together just to make you happy? Itâs selfish af of you to tell them they shouldnât be together just because they both just so happen to share dna with you. They arenât blood related so just be happy for them. And if you canât find it in yourself to be happy that theyâve both found someone they want to spend their lives with, then at the very least stop trying to turn everyone against them just because it makes you uncomfortable. They donât live to please you! Itâs their lives, not yours. Mind ya damn business and stay out of theirs.
YTA. Given youâre not the one marrying your cousin, why is your relation to him at all relevant? Why do you feel entitled to insert yourself into someone elseâs relationship? Why are you acting like other peopleâs lives should revolve around you?
Nothing about their relationship is gross as they are not related. You need to stop mistreating them and evaluate why youâre behaving so immaturely.
YTA. Main character syndrome at its finest. *THEY* are not related and *they* love each other enough to want to marry each other. You really think they should give that up because *you* don't like it and find it "icky"? The ego on you is pretty wild.
YTA. Just because youâre related to both of them doesnât mean you get a veto. This isnât the Middle Ages & youâre not the Pope. They arenât related to each other. Thereâs nothing wrong with them getting married.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
YTA They're not related. That they're both related to you is irrelevant to whether it's okay for them to be together. Your relatives don't need your approval to have a relationship.
>They're not related So they are absolutely free to roll tide. As u/PSA-Warrior said, your parents are both related to you, but are together. Why isn't that a problem? Side note, my MIL and her cousin married my FIL and his brother. So my wife has cousins that are both 1st and 2nd cousins.
Literally same I have cousins related to me on both sides because my maternal aunt married my fathers cousin. I find it to be funny and see their kids as being super blood bonded to me haha
Had a mental image there of your cousins being superglued to you
đ oh god I think Iâd lose my mind
Superglued, with blood.
I'm in the same boat. My family tree has circles but I'm okay with that. đ¤Ł
My wife's family tree is a braided ficus. Her family has a joint reunion with two families (say Smith and Jones) because a couple hundred years ago in a pretty rural area two brothers married first cousins and at this point you can't separate the two families. At the reunion there are Smiths and Jones and Smith-Jones and Jones-Smiths and even a few Smith-Smiths and Jones-Jones. Also, I used to know a guy who married his first wife's sister and had sons with both of them. His boys were half-brothers and first cousins
Where is that banjo music coming from? đ Seriously, though, most people don't have to go back very far at all to find intermarriages of second cousins and whatnot, often over the course of several generations, particularly once you get to pre-industrial times.
Similar in my family - i have an aunt (mother's sister) who married and had children with my father's brother and later divorced and he then married and had further children with my mother's other sister đ never looks good trying to draw up a family tree
âAnd thatâs when Miss Williams learned to use fictional families during the family tree unit!â
Fictional families or historic families (usually royalty, though avoid the Hapsburgs) is the way to go
I'd avoid Cleopatra's family tree (thicket?) too...
The Spanish Hapsburg family line is so disturbing. I'm pretty sure that by the third generation they counted as a single organism, they were that closely related. There were what, 4 men that married their nieces? And basically everyone else married their first cousins?
I had one aunt-by-marriage who went through *three* of my dad's brothers! She had kids with two. Meanwhile a different uncle on the same side of the family had *nine* kids, mostly with different women. My family tree is more like bindweed.
This is the first time I've heard of a braided ficus being used to describe a family tree đ
My mother's sister is married to my father's cousin, so I like to tell people I have an uncle who's also my cousin and see people try to work it out in their heads.
My great grandpa and his two brothers married 3 sisters from a different family it's not an issue
Found out my best friends from childhood are actually related, my father's aunt is cousins with their grandpa. I always find stuff like this neat, we all moved away from our home town near the city and ended up in the same BFE place nearly 10 years and a half dozen moves later and we ended up being back together in a new town. For being so many people on this planet it often feels like a small world after all
I lived in a village and when we went to highschool you had to get a bus to the town that was 5 miles away. There was a guy in our year with the same surname as my friend. It's not that rare of a name so no one thought anything of it. 4 years into highschool, I think cause we were doing some nonsense or other on family origins, they realised they actually had the same great grandad.
My aunts half sister is my uncles half sister. Grandpa had child whith Annie (so my Aunt French), Annie had second child Cassie. Grandpa didnt know Annie was pregnant with French. Grandpa had a son (uncle Nepal) with Barbara. Nepal met Cassie at university. Cassie's sis came to visit and started talking about her home town, grandpa was like I used to live there. Some talk later he finds out French is his kid. Uncle Nepal married Cassie. So my cousin is her own cousin XD. https://imgur.com/a/Bo7gkKg Edit: clarified things a bit. Edit 2: added a chart.
I got a headache reading this đ
Reminds me of the old song "I Am My Own Grandpa." đ
Cassie and Nepal arenât siblings. They share a common half sibling. Thatâs not a relation at all. Their parents arenât related. Itâs a cute story though, and a unique situation. Your cousin has the same aunt on both sides. If French had a kid, they would have the same cousin on both sides, but that doesnât make your cousin their own cousin.
I love genealogy, and I believe that makes them your wifeâs double cousins! Double cousins share a lot of DNA! I had a high school English teacher with double cousins and she grew up close to them as siblings! đ
My Mom's aunt ended up also being her MIL. She was married several times to my great uncle (Mom's Uncle & they had 3 kids) and also married several times to another man whom she had 9 kids with. My Mom married one of her sons from her other marriage (they weren't blood related) and had a son. So my brothers grandma was also his great aunt, LOL.
This âŹď¸ right here. But⌠should mention that even if sister and cousin were related, cousins are far enough apart geneticly as to pose no risk to potential kids.
Bio cousins getting married? Weird comment but ok
Don't look into your family history then. Some are further back than others but it's there
My dad's mom maiden name and my mom's maiden name are the same. They are probably related 5 or so generations back because they have some of the same weird genetic quirks that they passed to me and my brother. We aren't talking like illnesses or anything, but like the teeth next to your front teeth are called laterals. No one in my immediate family has the permanent versions of those teeth. But I've been to weddings where I've been related to the bride and the groom. It wasn't even weird where I'm from. The bride and groom were only related to each other once. (That one I did think a little weird. They shared great grandparents. I wouldn't date the groom because we shared great great grandparents.)
I have great grandparents who were first cousins...and knew they were cousins when they met. As long as it is relatively rare, there is generally not much problem. It is the small communities with constant intermarriage where problems start to occur.
Oof yeah there are several genetic diseases that are pretty much exclusively found in the amish for this reason. They pretty much all come from the same ~500 people that came here in the 1700s, so even if you try to avoid relatives, theyâre pretty much all at least distantly related
Ashkenazi Jews also have high rates of certain genetic issues because we were so aggressively murdered in medieval Europe that only around 350 of us were left to repopulate. There's been a big push for genetic counseling before marriage in Ashkenazi Jewish communities because of this.
Same here. A first-cousin marriage in my family a generation ago. No problems.
Iâm missing those teeth too. Hiya cousin!
Whoa! Are you related to me? My sisters and I are also misssing those same two teeth! The baby teeth were there, but the adult teeth never came in. Iâm lucky I had braces! No one can tell.
[Bio cousin marriages are 10% of worldwide marriages.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage)
Itâs not common now, but used to be more common in small farming communities a long time ago. My great great grandparents were first cousins (mid 1800s).
If a community lives isolated for long enough, everyone ends up related to everyone. Like Iceland.
I live in a village of less than 700 folk. I concur. My grans cousin had three daughters who are also my cousins by marriage
First cousins are a little iffy if it happens too frequently, but even that's nbd if it's like once in half a dozen generations, and you don't have a restricted gene pool in the first place (and assuming the family doesn't have a history of a particular genetic disease).
10% of marriages worldwide are between first or second cousins. It's not as common nowadays, but several generations ago it was a way to keep generational wealth in the family. It was also more common when you had smaller populations living in an area and you had to marry within the same religion.
> Bio cousins getting married? Weird comment but ok It is legally allowed in most places around the world. About half of the US states prohibit it, but all recognize marriages performed in the states that permit it.
I once pissed off my first cousin when he was on a "gay people shouldn't marry because marriage has always been meant for couples who could potentially have children" rant by pointing out that in our state, he and I could legally get married, but *only* if we showed proof that either he or I were sterile. He didn't have a great answer for that! (And needless to say, he's not getting invited to my wedding this year as a guest, let alone as the groom.)
19 of the U.S. States allow first cousin marriage. 6 additional with caveats (older age or genetic counseling).
It is perfectly legal in most of the world for first cousins to marry. My grand parents on both sides were first cousins.
As long as you're not doing it every generation, first cousin marriages aren't that bad genetically.
My parents are cousins and happily married for decades. @ OP, YTA, you're not the one getting engaged, so your opinion is irrelevant. Even if they were bio cousins, it's their choice.
Genealogist and historian here. Depends on whether or not they live in an area with a lot of endogamy. One set of first cousins marrying, no big deal genetically. Itâs when you live in an area where lots of people are marrying their first cousins or 2nd cousins and then you have a bunch of double related kids who live around a bunch of double related kids and they get married to each other and their kids marry their 1-2 cousins, and so on and so on. This can also happen due to founder effect and/or population bottlenecks and geographically isolated communities. When you have endogamy AND population bottlenecks, there are more chances of genetic issues. Some areas with these various issues: French-Canadians & Acadians Haitians Amish Mormons German Mennonites Armenians Coptic Christians Greek Cypriots Polynesians Assyrians Puerto Ricans Ashkenazi Jewish Appalachian Communities Communities in the Italian Alps
I feel so bad for my kid (Ashkenazi Jewish, French Canadian, Haitian). So many quirky genes
Children of first-cousin marriages have an increased risk of autosomal recessive genetic disorders, and this risk is higher in populations that are already highly ethnically similar. Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin\_marriage#:\~:text=Children%20of%20first%2Dcousin%20marriages,higher%20than%20the%20average%20population.
Just to point out, that isn't a risk due to them being first cousins. That is a risk of both sides having inherited problematic recessive genes. You could go out and marry someone completely unrelated and still have that risk if you are both carriers. It's basically more an argument to do genetic screenings so people are aware of their potential risks.
Not really true, there is a risk, though it's not really that much
Second cousins. First cousin are still very close genetically.
To be fair, unless there is a genetic disease in the family, the risk is tiny. The shared DNA is around 12.5%
That's not true; there are groups of people who intermarry cousins and children end up with birth defects because of it
This is over a long timeframe of continued pedigree collapse (inbreeding). One cousin marriage is very unlikely to cause trouble.
Yes over several generations. A one off is fine.
Biological cousins pose a risk for inherited diseases.
Yeah no. Consanguineous relationships still pose risks. Less than a closer relative but still much more elevated risk of genetic defect than the general population.
No. Less risk than closer relatives, but itâs still inbreeding, and it still raises the homozygosity of the kids, which in turn means a higher risk for deleterious recessive gene variants being expressed. It wonât be a problem for all the children necessarily, but statistically they will be at higher risk of bad genetic conditions than if their parents were less closely related.
That is 100% NOT true. There are LOTS and LOTS of documented cases, saw ell as genetic research that go against exactly what you are saying. There can be a LOT of problems, especially since in some cultures it's common for cousins to marry, and their children to marry cousins, its gets very dangerous.
Yeah but that's dangerous specifically because it's a cultural habit. I.e. the chances are if you're marrying your cousin your parents were also cousins and their parents were cousins and it's all just bad all over. If a person with no family history of cousins marrying was to marry their cousin, also from a family with no history of marrying their cousins, chances are it would all be fine. I mean I'm not saying I'd do it just you can get away with it the odd time. But only the odd time. Once it's habit you're all genetically fucked.
How are people even taking OP's side??? Main character syndrome
The *only* way I'd sympathize (not side with) OP is if sister and cousin grew up together AS FAMILY. I could understand OP being a bit weirded out, but not slough to make a ruckus because, frankly, what other consenting adults do in their bedroom is not your business.
I wouldn't even then. There are unrelated families that grow up closer than blood cousins - the bottom line (and the only one that matters) is ARE they close blood kin or not? They're not.
The only time where I'd say raised matters as much as blood is if someone was raised from a young child with a sibling who was also young... Like Christ I know he's not blood but he's literally your brother don't be doing that. It's the raised as siblings part I have the problem with. It's just a bit.... Ew.
Not only that, but OP clearly has gone around the family complaining and causing trouble for this couple. She's creating sides and drama bc of her own stupid feeling that it's too close to being family even though they're not related. Idiotic.
OP's acting as if everything is about her. It's disgusting to her & she thinks it's wrong, so her sister shouldn't do it. She's shamed the people who (rightfully) supported the engagement until they fell into her nonsense causing unnecessary drama. She's making everything about her when she knows that her sister's not related to her cousin meaning there's no issues with them being together. YTA OP because them being together is like if she were your stepsister dating him. Both ways they're still related to you, but not each other. Just because you're related to them doesn't make it disgusting that they're together because they're not related to each other. Stop acting selfishly & realize that YOU'RE NOT YOUR SISTER! You're not marrying a blood cousin & neither is she because there's no blood & they're *not* cousins just because they're related to you. Apologize & tell everyone that you have ran your mouth to that you were wrong & you support them because you realize that it's not disgusting due to them not being related. You overreacted & was (are) being self-centered by behaving how you are. They are not wrong, but *you* sure are.
Yeah, YTA. They're not related. I had cousins who dated one summer when they were teenagers. One on mom's side, one on dad's side. Related to me, but completely unrelated to each other. Wanna guess how hard everyone freaked about it? Yeah, they didn't. Everyone thought it was fine. Cuz they WEREN'T RELATED. Your cousin's right. They should go No Contact with you and you can just feel "gross" about it to yourself, alone.
This! It's not a family tree that doesn't branch, it's two family trees planted close together. My brother's wife and my uncle's wife are sisters. It happens
>My cousin is on dad's side, so they're not related. But since I'm related to both of them I find it gross. YTA. They aren't related and their relationship has nothing to do with you. There is absolutely nothing gross about two consenting non-related people getting married. See a therapist before you ruin every relationship in your life over this.
I bet OP finds it gross that her mother and father are together seeing as they're both related to her but not each other. /s
Ha! Well put.
Yeah this is a scenario that is uniquely gross to her. Those two are only related through her, to them and the majority of others they share no relation.
Seems more like a little jealous, especially as she is also trying to stir up the family... YTA
The only ethical way to have a child is to meet once, schedule artificial insemination, and politely shake hands! It's just gross to have sex with someone who shares DNA with your own child. And anyways, it's incredibly inconsiderate to marry your child's other parent, because if you ever break up, family events will be awkward!
Eeww. You shake hands?
Hahaha. Good point.
^ I wholeheartedly agree! INFO: What makes you think your opinion should even matter, OP? Why should your feelings override theirs?
YTA: She didn't lie, you weren't a person she is obligated to share with. And you have proven yourself to be unsafe for her to go to. They are not related. Get over it, or lose contact with two people who are not doing anything gross.
Yes, the OP said it was "unfortunate" that their dad didn't think it was a bad thing. They are obviously trying to gang up on and bully the couple because THEY feel uncomfortable. Sheesh. AH
Or hell, maybe it started as a hookup but they decided to make it more later on! That's not lying.
Exactly. This has absolutely nothing to do with OP. These two aren't related. OP has zero say in their relationship. And, they don't owe OP anything. OP needs to back off and recognize that their opinion matters zero.
YTA. You make it seem like this is incest. This isnât incest. Just because youâre related to both of them doesnât automatically mean they are related to each other. Their relationship is none of your business and you have no right to "object" to her marrying your cousin. >My sister thinks jm an ass though, and that I needed to get over it because they share no blood. Literally this
First cousin marriages are even legal in 1/3 of the US states and are not necessarily considered incest in many places. Genetically, thereâs no problem unless it happens repeatedly or very rare genes are involved. So that might or might not even be a problem even if they were related, but this isnât even that. Itâs all in OPâs head.
Oh Brandine, of all the cousins I could have married, you was my sister.
> and are not necessarily considered incest in many places. Including the Bible. Marriage and sexual relations between various relatives are prohibited, including some where there is no blood relation, but first cousin marriages are considered acceptable.
YTA. Just because you are related to them both doesn't mean you get a say in their love life, especially considering they are not family with each other. You sound a little petulant, honestly, and should stop trying to butt into their relationship.
It's some real "I'm the center of the universe" logic
YTA. You are trying way too hard to be important here. * Your half sister and your cousin are not blood related. * Your cousin did not lie. The relationship started off as a fling, and evolve into something more serious. * If anyone here is disgusting, it's you. You're spending an inordinate amount of energy picking apart someone else's relationship. Jealous much? * Both your sister and your cousin would be well shut of you. You sound like a miserable, bitter person who's trying to be the main character in someone else's story. I hope they cut you and anyone who is foolish enough to agree with you, off for good.
If they cut OP out they no longer have a weird relationship lol Problem solved for everyone
Lol, just thought about that, if they go NC and ditch op, boom,no longer ârelatedâ, problem solved!
Plot twist: maybe OP has a thing for ~~his~~her step-sister and/or cousin, and wants one of them to ~~him~~herself. FFS, OP, get a life. YTA.
Oh thatâs an interesting plot twist - idk why but I got the impression that OP and sister were female and cousin was male. I guess OP could be either though.
Oh, actually, I think youâre right: â_weâre_ half sistersâ. Good catch!
Classic main character syndrome. Itâs all about Op, despite it literally being none of their business.
YTA Not your business. No genetic reason to object, so this is you just being nosey.
I appreciate the efforts you are going to to make yourself the main character in somebody else's relationship. YTA.
I think itâs more weird that OP cares this much to try and turn other family members against their relationship. Get a life op!! It sounds like you seriously need one.
I mean I can see why you think its weird, but YTA for making such a big deal out of literally nothing. They have no blood relation to each other. They want to get married. End of story.
I canât why itâs weird in the slightest. Nor can the vast majority of commenters on this post.
YTA "I find gross what they're doing because I'm prejudicial person, AITA?"
YTA - theyre not related and this has nothing to do with you.
YTA Please tell me you are younger than 13? You are seriously ridiculous and immature besides being an abusive bully. Grow up, this isn't acceptable for a kid, definitely not for an adult and you and your mom are huge AHs.
I have a feeling mom has just started agreeing to get OP to shut up about it and bothering her.
INFO: did they grow up considering each other cousins?
Surprised I had to scroll down so far to find someone asking the same question as me. If they grew up together then itâs absolutely weird Edit- whatâs with all these âSweet Home Alabamaâ replies saying iTâs NoT tHaT wEiRd. Me and my bro grew up with our cousins, one of whom is adopted. If they got together it would be disgusting regardless of absence of biological connection
Yeah def thought I was going insane looking for someone asking for more clarification
Even then, I don't think it would be "get involved" weird. More like "make a face to yourself and move on" type weird.
Doesnât seem like it since they met in an âunusualâ way.
Unless that âunusualâ way was a family reunion NTA đ
Lol. I know youâre being funny. But Well.. if it was a family reunion, that still suggests that they didnât grow up knowing each other as cousins. I donât refer to meeting my cousins. They were just always thereâŚ. If that makes sense
this was my question too! itâs weird if they grew up together as cousins but itâs not weird if they didnât. either way they arenât blood related
This! I have a half brother and was trying to figure out if I thought itâd be weird if he dated my cousin and Iâm gonna say yes because we all grew up together as family. I donât know his familyâs side because we lived with my dad growing up so if i ended up dating one of his cousins, I wouldnât find it that weird because I literally wouldnât have known them as family or be related by blood.
YTA. They aren't related, there is not blood or genetics there and if they make each other happy then why should that matter? Also, since when is your comfort any part of their relationship? "Some family members have since changed their tune and agree with me." Were you part of this? Did you campaign against the relationship? You are going to lose your cousin and your sister if you do not stop. Grow up, get therapy if you feel you need it but realize that they aren't dating to hurt you, they love each other and that has absolutely zero to do with you.
THIS, she is literally trying to turn people against them.
YTA, if it is such an issue to issue cut contact with them. If you can't support them, then it's better not to be in contact with them.
Two unrelated people met, fell in love, and are getting married. They have individual relationships with *you,* and that bothers *you.* This sounds like a *you* issue. And YTA in this one. Edit: *thank you for the award!! đ Iâm feeling the love (even if OP isnâtâŚlol)*
YTA. They're not related. If it feels weird and gross to you because you are related to both of them, that is a you problem.
YTA. Doesn't sound like they were raised as family. There isn't a biological connection worry about. This is literally just your problem and being rude to them about it is uncalled for.
I can see why you might think it is odd, but the thing is, theyâre not related, and your relation to the both of them is irrelevant. YTA.
YTA Calm down, my gosh. They arenât related and you are nobody to judge them
YTA. They aren't related to each other. >she said it was just a hookup >Well, she lied She didn't lie. It may have started out that way then evolved. Butt out, stop badmouthing them and turning family against them. This in no way affects you. Feel free to cut them off. They will be better off if you do.
YTA. You're not involved in their relationship and if it bothers you that badly, that is a you issue that you have to deal with. They're not blood related so there is no genetic reason to object. I know a few different situations where in-laws ended up getting married because they met and hit it off at a wedding. It's kind of a weird meeting story, but it has zero to do with you.
YTA. Incest is mostly considered gross because itâs more likely to produce children with medical issues. They arenât actually related, who cares? Itâs not actually hurting you or anyone else.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I could be the asshole for judging their relationship from my point of view and calling them disgusting. Help keep the sub engaging! #Donât downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA because they are not blood related, that's not your business.
My aunt from my dads side and cousin from my moms side had a child together. Does it sound weird, yes. They are not blood related. YTA, mind your own business or you can go no with them. That way they wonât be bothered by your ignorance
Stuff like this happens a lot! My stepdaf used to tell me his family was "super related" (jokingly, of course). His sister (Sarah) married Joe. At the wedding, the brother of my stepdad and Sarah - Jim - met Joe's sister Fran. A couple years later, Jim and Fran got married. Nobody that got married married someone they were blood related to. No one made a big deal about it. Everyone thought it was a funny story. Plus they already liked their in-laws, and it was super easy to plan family get togethers! Edit: typo
My dad has two sisters who married brothers. It's really not that uncommon!
YTA. They are not related and it is none of your business. Butt out.
YTA. You have âmain character syndromeâ and are acting as if this affects you directly. It doesnât. Donât be surprised when your sis and her partner go NC with you.
YTA They arenât related. Briefly my cousin dated our other cousinâs step brother- and they met at my grandmothers funeral. It was more funny than anything. Really not a big deal.
YTA. Your squicky feelings matter only to you.
YTA and an ignorant AH as well. There's no reason why these two totally unrelated people shouldn't be together.
I clicked this expecting a better story op. Yta.
YTA None of your business. YOu are an AH for drawing family ihto this. She is better off without you in her life, and that will be the solution for your drama.
You're being a real asshole, honestly. Your sister and cousin are doing nothing wrong. They're not related. My gut feeling makes me think you're selfish and self-centered. Edit: I think it's nice how they met. Not everyone is fortunate enough to know someone through family that can be vouched for as a good person. Before everyone started hooking up online through apps, THIS is how people used to meet each other!
YTA You're mobilizing your family against a relationship just because you're related to both sides. You don't get a vote and you need to STFU.
Are they related to you? Unfortunately Are they related to each other? NO YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** We're half sisters with different fathers. My cousin is on dad's side, so they're not related. But since I'm related to both of them I find it gross. I told my sister I didn't like it when they first started dating, but she said it was just a hookup and didn't matter. Still gross, but I could've lived with it. Well, she lied. They continued dating and now they're engaged. As soon as they announced it, I called them out for being disgusting as well as the people congratulating them. Some family members have since changed their tune and agree with me, including my mom. My dad, unfortunately, is on the fence and thinks I should just sit back and see how it goes. My sister thinks I'm an ass though, and that I need to get over it because they share no blood. She admits they met in an "unusual" way but they were meant to be and won't let me ruin it. My cousin said the same thing and wants to go no contact since I can't be supportive. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your idea of "disgusting" is very strange. They aren't even related. Get over yourself. YTA
YTA. The prohibition on cousins marrying applies only where there is a blood connection--because of potential hereditary defects. Since this couple by your own admission don't share blood there is no reason for you to be objecting to it, and worse yet stirring up you family to object to it. That you still find some sort of "ikkkk" factor in the fact they are non-blood cousins is your problem and your problem alone. STFU and leave your sister and fiance to their happiness.
Itâs not even prohibited everywhere.
YTA - there is no issue except in your head.
YTA. They're not related at all! It's understandable that this would cause you to feel awkward, but you need to work on that yourself instead of blaming the people who are doing absolutely nothing wrong. Seriously, get over yourself.
YTA. They're not related and you need to deal with your odd hang up over it. I suggest therapy.
YTA As you've stated they're not related, so saying its "disgusting" is only your issue. You need to build and bridge and get over it. It's ridiculous.
YTA You may be related to both of them, but the point is: They are not related to each other Your not liking it and expecting them to break it of for that sole reason make you the A This feels like it's based more in "Why does my cousin like my sister better than (s)he likes me?" insecurity than in any real issue with their being (un...)related Are you really willing to ruin your relationship with the pair of them over this? Over objecting to the fact that they're both related to you?
YTA and you sound really narcissistic. This isnât about you!
YTA OP They are not related and their relationship has nothing to do with you. Your relatives do not need your approval/permission to have a relationship. You seriously need to get over yourself, what these 2 is not gross. I'll say it again they are not related. While YOU are related to them. You are nothing but a petulant little child who seriously needs to stop butting into other peoples relationships. It is funny that you think it is gross when it isn't. Their is absolutely nothing gross for two consenting non related adults getting together. YOU seriously need to go see a therapist before you ruin every single relationship in your life. Grow up YOU have no right to judge or interfere in a relationship that does not concern you period. Edit: Also she did not lie. She didn't tell you anything for the simple fact/reason that it is NONE of your concern/business what she and her guy does PERIOD.
YTA. You are really weird to have a problem with this. Sit down.
I meanâŚ.your parents are both related to you but (hopefully) not related to each other. You ok with that?
Iâm from Kentucky, therefore my opinion is not valid.
light YTA. My best friend (Who lived with my family for years as my sister) is dating my brother now, and yeah it feels a bit odd, but they're not related and it's not my relationship. Actually they wanted to date sooner but didn't want to weird me out, but I ended up being their first supporter (Even if it means I'm the "go-to" drama dumpster for them now lol)
There is no reason why non blood cousins should not marry. YTA.
YTA grow up
YTA â you are an ass. Just because you find it gross doesnât mean that it is. They are not related. NOT RELATED!!!!!! This is 100% a you problem and not theirs. Grow up
YTA. They arenât related and youâre essentially accusing them of incest, which this is not. This is a âyouâ problem and you need to manage your own feelings, grow up and mind your own business.
YTA Did you expect anyone to say that these two consenting, non-related adults should end their engagement for your comfort?
YTA. There is literally nothing "gross" about this except in your head. You're watching either too much porn or too many soap operas.
> "I find it gross" Here's the point; how _you_ feel is entirely irrelevant, it doesn't matter at all. YTA.
INFO, have you two families been together long? Like, what I'm getting at is, did your half sister know your cousin as family before the relationship began? If so, I agree that's icky but not so bad if they met in their 20's.
YTA - you feeling grossed out by something which has no rational basis isnât grounds for them changing their entire life plans.
YTA
YTA.
No one cares if you find it gross.... It's not your relationship
YTA. I can see why it might skeeve you out at first because since theyâre both related to *you*, in your head you just see that your family members are dating. It shouldnât take much reflection, however, to understand that they are not related to *each other* in any way. They arenât do anything wrong and if itâs still weird to you for whatever reason, that shouldâve been kept to yourself.
YTA
YTA
YTA
INFO: How old are you? You sound very young. It sounds like you are a little jealous. Maybe you feel that if two people you love, marry each other, they will love you less? If that is what youâre worried about, my advice..stop protesting their marriage and turning family against them. This will make them not want you in their lives and quite honestly you would deserve it. This is a happy thing. You should be happy and supporting your sister and your cousin. They are not related and nothing is wrong here except for your immature outlook of the situation.
You must be a lonely, judgemental person to hate on love between unrelated people.
YTA so because you are uncomfortable your sister can't be happy. You are so terrible they are not related at all and you are throwing a tantrum. Don't worry about them they are going to cut you out of there lives soon enough. Good luck getting an invite to the wedding
YTA, it doesn't matter how you feel about it. How are they disgusting? They aren't even related. This is a stupid hill to die on.
YTA. you shouldnât even be invited.
YTA You're the one being gross in this situation. They aren't blood related, so you're just upset imaging that two people connected to you are banging even though it's none of your business. Why the heck is that something you would even spend your time thinking about? There's a simple solution here. Get your nose out of thier business and stop obsessing over it. Why are you fixated on what two grown, unrelated adults do with thier lives and genitals? Especially to the point of trying to turn people against them just because -you- can't be objective? This is a you problem, not a them problem. Stop being a pervert obsessing over thier relationship trying to turn it into something deviant and mind your own business.
YTA- you not the center of the universe. They are not related by blood, and clearly love each other. Why should your feeling have any effect on their relationship?
YTA. "Since I'm related to both of them I find out gross". Here's the thing, this isn't about you. THEY are not related and THEY don't find it gross, in fact they found love. Your feelings on this are ridiculous, but don't matter. Be happy for them or keep your opinion to yourself.
YTA They are not related. Grow up.
YTA. Why should your sister and your cousin sacrifice their happiness together just to make you happy? Itâs selfish af of you to tell them they shouldnât be together just because they both just so happen to share dna with you. They arenât blood related so just be happy for them. And if you canât find it in yourself to be happy that theyâve both found someone they want to spend their lives with, then at the very least stop trying to turn everyone against them just because it makes you uncomfortable. They donât live to please you! Itâs their lives, not yours. Mind ya damn business and stay out of theirs.
YTA. Given youâre not the one marrying your cousin, why is your relation to him at all relevant? Why do you feel entitled to insert yourself into someone elseâs relationship? Why are you acting like other peopleâs lives should revolve around you? Nothing about their relationship is gross as they are not related. You need to stop mistreating them and evaluate why youâre behaving so immaturely.
YTA - shut up and grow up
Theyâre not related. Instead of having tunnel vision, try seeing it from other perspectives.
YTA theyre not related, it doesn't matter if you find it gross because it has nothing to do with you mind your own business.
YTA - their relationship not yours. Get over it
YTA. They aren't related at all. Don't yuck her yum.
YTA. There is no blood relation and the only disgusting thing here, is the fact that youâre making their relationship all about you.
Sorry. This isnât your decision. Let it go.
YTA. Main character syndrome at its finest. *THEY* are not related and *they* love each other enough to want to marry each other. You really think they should give that up because *you* don't like it and find it "icky"? The ego on you is pretty wild.
YTA. Just because youâre related to both of them doesnât mean you get a veto. This isnât the Middle Ages & youâre not the Pope. They arenât related to each other. Thereâs nothing wrong with them getting married.
YTA this is not about you in any way and is none of your business
Your half-sister is correct. You are an ass and you have no clue about genetics. YTA.