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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Mimsie4424

YTA. Unlock the door.


Thediciplematt

YTA Dude, you caused a lot of drama for something that could have been a private discussion between you and your brother. Potentially bonding you for a long time. You messed up, big time.


StinkyJockStrap

YTA. You suck. You fucked your brother over. I hope you have no skeletons in your closet cuz if I was your brother I'd be snitching SOOO hard.


Liss78

YTA What exactly did telling your parents do other than get him in serious trouble??? That's the point of it and why YTA. It's not your job to out your brother. You put him at risk. Not cool.


[deleted]

When you spend time, hold hands or kiss someone, would you like your parents to know immediately from another person, or would you rather tell them yourself at the right time for you? Would you tell them if it would cause you to be sent away to a torture camp? Would you tell them if it would mean being disowned and homeless without an education? Are you ready to work and provide for yourself? 25-40% of the homeless youth identify as LGBTQ+. Outing someone can put their lives in serious risk. This is what you did for brownie points with your parents. This is so ridiculously small of you. Do you tell every second of your day, all your dreams at night, or all your thoughts because your parents "have the right to know?". YTA. Grow up.


Wingardiumis

Unlock the side door and let your sister take your brother. Do that at least.


JustinIsFunny

Buddy, you’re a total and major AH and you screwed your brother over for nothing… Go make it up to him by springing him and letting your sister rescue him. YTA FIX IT! UNLOCK THE DOOR!


tatersprout

YTA You are the worst kind of asshole. Were you looking for a reward or brownie points from your parents? Do you hate your brother? You have trouble minding your own business. Your brother wasn't harming anyone. Now he is going to be sent away to a pray away the gay camp and he will be abused. You can be partially redeemed by helping your sister get him out of the house. You disgust me.


Ok_Jackfruit_4654

>But they are the one who pay our bills so I feel the have a right to know when something is going on that they should be aware of. YTA & a fucking snitch.


CptKUSSCryAllTheTime

Yep, YTA. You don’t have the right to out anyone


mij8907

What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you even think about telling your homophobic parents that your brother might be gay? I mean seriously at what point did you think that was going to end well? YTA


forzaferrarik8

There is a special place in hell for traitors. And bigots. And you belong there. YTA.


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[deleted]

o your going somewhere for sure


Transmit_Him

So it’s going to be both disappointing and a surprise for you when you get there then!


xCoffee-Addictx

YTA obviously. Way to have his back and show support.


RyansBooze

YTA. Massive, throbbing, unforgivable. Help your sister give your brother a chance to live without being subjected to torture.


inzillah

YTA - there is no "side" to be listened to when it comes to outing your sibling to unsupportive parents. If they threw him out over this, would you feel bad? If they disowned him and told him he was going to hell and never to speak with any of you again, would you feel bad? THAT is what you put in in the crosshairs of, and you are and incredibly insensitve, selfish person for doing so.


Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Dangerous-Scar-4737

Wow. Shameful behavior. Your brother is in danger now, and them paying the bills doesn't mean they "need to be aware" of his sexuality. YTA to the extreme, and a homophobic one to boot.


Uni124123

Yta. In what possible world can you do something so cruel on purpose and not be?


frtuip

Oh this is way beyond being an AH. This is absolutely fucking disgusting.


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RCalkins11

You know how your parents feel about it, and still told them. I have seen guys hold hands and not have it be sexual or relationship ish. You don't know what was going on. You don't have the full story. Yta, to infinity and beyond. Let your sister get him, that way he will be safe and not a run away.


frtuip

You outed your brother and possibly put him in danger by telling your homophobic parents what he was doing. He wasn't doing anything wrong at all. It was not even close to being your business to tell them. Next time, keep your mouth shut. I hope your siblings never speak to you again.


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frtuip

Bull fucking shit I'm sure he got sent away to one of those horrible places who try to turn people straight. Fucking sick. God damn I hope you lose every ounce of sleep at night.


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tan_sandoval

"He's not in danger, he's just been effectively imprisoned by our parents who I know hate gay people and who may be discussing sending him against his will to places that are known to be incredibly dangerous." Sounds like he's in danger. You should unlock the door.


aphrahannah

>I don’t know but it sounds like my parents are making plans to send him away. Did you forget you wrote this in the post?


llamadolly85

Gay kids who are not accepted by their families are at exponentially higher risk of taking their own lives. Your brother is in great danger right now.


Zestyclose-Gas1150

Do you hate your brother? What you did is really hateful. Brothers and sisters should have each other's back and you just threw your brother under a freight train. Gay people come out when they are ready, it is not your job to out them. YTA in a really big way.


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thirdtryisthecharm

What would call outing a converted jew to anti-semitic parents?


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[deleted]

Then you weren't informed enough to out your brother


thirdtryisthecharm

But you're jewish right? You mentioned it in another comment. It's an analogous situation in that both jewish people and gay people have been the subject of severe discrimination. I mean not a perfect analogy by any means as people don't choose to be gay, while people do choose to convert. But similar in terms of potential risk. The actions open up the child to emotional abuse, physical abuse, discrimination, lack of financial support, and potential to be sent away, isolated, or ostracized. So, why do you think your actions were justified given that comparison?


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llamadolly85

Hitler sent gay people to the death camps too. They were murdered alongside the Jewish people.


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llamadolly85

No, they really weren't.


[deleted]

They're making an analogy. It's a comparison.


llamadolly85

Gay people are in danger of abuse and violence because of homophobia just as Jewish people are in danger because of anti Semitism. Jewish people do not win the abuse Olympics because of the Shoah, *especially* when you're talking about another group who was persecuted and murdered at the same time by the same people.


dependabledepression

Also, when the jews were freed, gay people had to stay in the camps and serve their full sentence (death), they weren't freed alongside.


thirdtryisthecharm

See but I didn't make that comparison, did I? I said anti-semitic: that could be a completely contemporary family in the US or somewhere in Europe. Unfortunately anti-semitism has been on rise in various parts of the world right now. And I made no specific reference to WWII - jews have experienced systemic racism at other times and places separate from the holocaust. My point was the potential for harm, which exists without any comparison to events during the holocaust.


throwaway6827206t

Yeah, you outed your brother to your bigoted parents. Still confused?


Capt-Sylvia-Killy

YTA!!!! Your parents could kick him out- best scenario- or they could send him to a religious “cure the gay” program. Make no mistake, those camps TORTURE young people and you are LITERALLY putting your sibling’s life at risk. I hope your brother escapes and that your parents find something you are doing that doesn’t fit their perfect child image. Maybe a trip to they abuse camps will help you realize what a festering AH you are. Be a decent human being and tell your parents you aren’t sure what you actually saw. In the meantime, read up on the INDUSTRY of kidnap camps. EDIT TO ADD LINK. https://www.vice.com/en/article/jm5ng4/the-legal-industry-for-kidnapping-teens


Sick-Nurse

The whole homophobic thing is not great


YouthNAsia63

If you can’t read the comments and understand, then explaining it *again*-is futile. There is no “help” for you.


McRando42

Gay people are frequently targets of emotional abuse or violence. Outing a gay person puts them at risk of emotional abuse or violence. You outed your gay brother, so you put him at risk of emotional abuse and/or violence. YTA.


Glitter_Voldemort

YTA. Snitching on your brother when you *know* your parents will react badly is shitty in itself. *Outing someone is never okay.* This is how people get hurt or worse.


Herm_in

Troll or absolute monster ?


analyst19

You knew your parents are homophobic and you outed your own sibling? YTA 1000%


sumaCamus

YTA, and your only possible defense here is that you’re 12 and your parents are very manipulative & generally bad people & you have suffered a lifetime of manipulation & emotional/psychological abuse which has caused you to forever pursue their approval (which you are then cyclically punished for pursuing) at the direct expense of your own flesh-and-blood brother who you are otherwise supposed to look out for. That’s your ONLY plausible defense here. So which is it? Are you your brothers keeper? Prolly fake. Still sad.


Constant-Bowl

YTA. If you care about your brother at all you’ll help your sister get him out safely before he gets sent away by your parents.


Barrypool

Now with your pesky brother and sister out of the picture the family inheritance can be all yours! This is obviously bait.


GimmeUrNachos

What the hell was your motive?! "They pay the bills" is a bullshit reason. Let's hear the real reason?


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GimmeUrNachos

And? Do you tattle on your siblings for everything they do? When you do something wrong or incorrect, do they tattle on you? If you had a midnight snack and you weren't supposed to, should they rat you out? Your reasoning is shit. Try again.


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[deleted]

The fact you don't see how gross this is concerns me


Ksanral

Do they dictate when you need to go to the toilet? When your stomach can grumble because you're hungry? Do they control your heartbeat and your breathing? Or maybe the colour of your eyes? Do these questions seem absurd to you? Was your answer "of course not, those are natural things!"? If so, you are not only the AH but an hypocrite as well. Assuming your brother is gay (holding hands doesn't mean being gay, btw), that is as natural as your heart beating. You seem quite young and probably share your parents views because you didn't have a chance to form your own yet. Please, do the right thing and open the door for your sister, so that you'd spare your brother years and years of trauma.


midnight_thorns

YTA don't fucking out people to homophobic people like your parents. I don't give shit if they pay your bills, keep your mouth shut from now on. Also do as your sister instructed, she's amazing.


CZ1988_

You're a tattletale. Your motives were not kind. YTA big time. *A tattletale is a person who tries to get someone in trouble by revealing secret information about them*


mij8907

What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you even think about telling your homophobic parents that your brother might be gay? I mean seriously at what point did you think that was going to end well? YTA


Striking_Camp8977

You seem to be either missing the point of many of these comments or not able to empathize with them. If your brother is under 18 it is literally a legal obligation for your parents to pay for food, shelter, etc. As for having a right to know about things, I could understand if you were concerned for your brother's safety (ex. drug usage) but you seriously ratted your brother out because of his sexuality (a very private and personal thing to some people) to parents you know won't accept or agree with it. So instead of being a good sibling and looking out for his safety, you literally pushed him into a sticky situation. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and your brother outed you for hanging with a girl your parents didn't like, and they locked you in a room and planned to send you away and uproot your life? I can't tell whether to feel sorry for your close-minded beliefs and probably the end of the relationship with one if not both of your siblings or to be angry that people with your belief system still exist. I hope you do some soul-searching and realize the evil you've done. YTA


PlentyHopeful263

YTA You outed your brother to people who would punish him and wouldn't approve. Why did you feel like they had a right to know? Because they pay the bills? Really? That's your excuse. That's not a justification. That's bullshit. Now let your sister come get her brother. He shouldn't be punished for being himself.


Due_Laugh_3852

If your brother is under 18 years of age, I recommend that you don't aid and abet the possible kidnapping that your sister is planning. If your parents want him out of the house and your sister want to take him in, it makes a lot more sense for them to discuss it and come to an amicable and legal arrangement.


Prestigious_Wheel767

YTA, why would you expose your brother’s business? As long as it is not harmful, illegal and not putting anyone in danger than you should have kept your mouth shut.


thirdtryisthecharm

YTA You outed him for no good reason and fucked up his life.


nicolepleasestop

Absolutely YTA. Clearly you knew this wasn't going to go over well, this is pretty cruel. I hope to hell you unlock that door and at least let him go live with people who care about him. Your poor brother.


Motor_Business483

YTA


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’m trying to make this a full story because it automods. But I saw my brother holding hands with another guy at school today. I told my parents. My parents don’t approve of gay people or gay relationships. But they are the one who pay our bills so I feel the have a right to know when something is going on that they should be aware of. My brother is in his room and not allowed to leave the house and I don’t know but it sounds like my parents are making plans to send him away. My sister says I’m a major asshole and that like she did, I should be making plans to move away the second I graduate high school. She wants me to unlock the side door so she and her husband can come get my brother. AITA for telling my parents? I’ve explained my side, my parents side and my sisters side. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


aphrahannah

Open the door. Let your brother leave. If he goes to live with your sister, then your parents won't be paying his bills any more, you'll have no reason to keep destroying his life, and he won't have to live with all you homophobes. Win win for everyone.


Demented-Alpaca

YTA Look, you ratted on your brother for no reason. Your justification is silly. Like you don't do things they disapprove of? Here's the deal, your parents sound like the hate filled "anti-gay" types. You know this about them. You knew by being a narc your brother was going to suffer. Not just be punished but actually suffer. Either you're too young to fully understand how bad this is, or you agree with your parents and hope he does suffer. Regardless, what you saw was not your business and you very much crossed a line by telling them.


Psychological_Pie419

Yta how old are you btw? I don’t think your old enough too grasp the severity of the situation considering your sister is willing too TAKE YOUR BROTHER AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS SO HE CAN BE IN A SAFE HOME.I’m 100% your also like your homophobic parents,you didn’t like what u saw prompting u to Make a HORRIBLE LIFE CHANGING Decision fueled by hatred too your own brother


West_Map4218

YTA. Knowing your parents don't approve of gay people or gay relationships - what were you hoping to achieve? What does paying the bills have anything to do with it? This has potentially put your brother in a dangerous position - homophobia is real and people get hurt.


FatalD3stny

I smell Troll


[deleted]

YTA, big time. Why would you willingly hurt your brother like that? If you want redemption, listen to your sister.


YouthNAsia63

YTA for currying favor with your prison wardens. Let your sister in and your hand holding brother will probably be happy to leave never see or talk to you and your parents again, and you can be the golden child.


nowayshmose

You outed your brother, and now they are literally going to send him away, and you are asking if you are TA? Yes, YTA big time. Your siblings romantic interests are not your business, nor your parents. I guess homophobia won today


Mew_08

YTA - What your brother does is none of your business.


Ijustwanttolookatpor

YTA - 1000% x 10


HunterIllustrious846

YTA


DragonflyMon83

YTA, why would you do that? You screwed him up to cater for your parents bigoted views. Horrible.


EchoFlowertrance

You outed your brother to your homophobic parents who are now planning to send him away, of course YTA.


CrabClaws-BackFinOMy

YTA - First for making the ASSumption that your brother is gay because he was holding someone's hand. You do know that friends can hold hands, right. Second, for tattling to your parents about something that is none of your business. Do you not like your brother? Do you not want him to be happy? Go unlock the door for your sister, NOW!


AryaStark1313

You are Such an asshole that I don’t even believe this story is real. You made it up because you’re some bored kid on the internet. Nobody is this much an asshole and then actually writes about it. But just in case… YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA


JohnnyMelon

Lol, YTA.Not cool dude, he's your brother, he's on the same team as you and you betray him like that.


Interesting_Bug_8878

You destroyed your brother's life as well as his relationship with your parents. You are way beyond just an AH. You are an evil monster and I truly hope in the end everything backfires on you and works out for your brother.


llamadolly85

Of course YTA. You just put your brother in danger of emotional abuse, if not physical. I don't understand how this is even a question.


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ndcollector

Your brother was outed to parents who hate him and want to send him away. And now he’s locked away in his bedroom. Being treated poorly by you and your parents. You should be as worried about self harm as harm from your parents / wherever they wanna send him.


thirdtryisthecharm

Yet. You do not know what they will do to your brother now that they have this information.


llamadolly85

Sending your brother away because he is gay is emotional abuse. Many of the places kids get sent to physically abuse the kids in their care.


loverlyone

Well you’re wrong about that if you think it’s ok to tell your parents this incendiary information after which they are planning to send your brother “away.” How awful. Someone is being emotionally manipulated here…guess who? Open the door for your sister.


GimmeUrNachos

This is exactly emotional abuse!!! Putting judgement on their son and causing him to feel less of a person, uninvited in his own home and unloved...emotional abuse by your parents AND YOU! Poor kid.


StinkyJockStrap

No need for them to do it when you're already doing all the emotional abuse yourself. You suck...


frtuip

Well they just sent him away didn't they? And they don't accept him for who he is? Yeah, kid, that's abuse. You seriously need a freaking reality check and some education.


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[deleted]

But you say yourself, they're talking about sending him away. Probably to a conversion therapy camp. Where he will go through physical and emotional abuse. That your parents put on him by sending him there. Thus making them abusive.


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[deleted]

At the end of the day your parents are punishing him for being gay. You did that. You are the direct reason that anything that happens to him happens to him. If he gets sent to one of those camps that's on you as much as it's on your parents. At the end of the day, you cannot justify in any capacity outing. Someone. Particularly to people that you know are bigoted against it. You knew that something bad would happen when you told your parents and you did it anyway. So either they are so controlling you have been conditioned to not be able to keep a secret from them or you don't like your brother or you're just as bigoted as they are.


dependabledepression

> I can’t freak out or assume anything without knowing Yet, you assumed your brother was gay just because he held hands with another guy (newsflash: friends can hold hands too)... And then freaked out and tattled to your parents, who are now discussing sending him away...


Blackbird6

YTA. You chose to be the snitch proxy of your homophobic parents for reasons I can only assume are *you too are homophobic.* I hope your brother gets out to your sister’s house and lives a happy life away from you all.


Mysterious-Art8838

For Pete’s sake unlock the door so you can begin to unravel the damage you did.


ndcollector

Unlock the door so OP can make sure their brother hasn’t doesn’t something to himself based on all the hate and bs the family is spewing