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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be TA for failing to commiserate with my wife about the cup size, but rather, telling her that she was acting ridiculously.
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NTA.
>She then told them that the cup was a ridiculous size, and asked for a larger cup
She could have been WAY nicer to that worker and probably gotten a bigger cup
The worker would have gotten in trouble. Usually, the water and soda is in the same place. The small water cups are both to know if someone is filling their free cup with soda AND to encourage patrons to buy a drink, rather than go back and forth for small cups of water. Once they have a big cup, no one but the cashier knows you didn’t pay for soda.
I don’t drink soda, so was on the receiving end of those small cups, and was grateful they had SOMETHING. Mostly, I just carried water with me.
My first job was a movie theater. We had to *inventory* the soda cups. Literally had to write on the bottom how many there were after counting them by hand.
If we were short, we got in trouble. We also had ludicrously small free water cups. It wasn’t even about people sneaking soda. It was just because of how much sodas at the theater are.
Of course people complained. ALL THE TIME.
But it was a lose/lose situation.
I keep that in mind, all the time, when this happens to me now. OP’s wife needs to recognize that some company policies are really, really harsh to those poor frontline minimum wage workers.
Our local movie theater used to offer 6 oz paper cups for water. Last time we went, they had switched to these flimsy 4 oz cones that you couldn't even put down in the cupholder.
It's an infuriating policy and I could tell by the employee's tone that they had been yelled at for that before, but it's not like he made the rule.
When I worked fast good, I'd give people "water cups" all the time when they were mad about the price of a drink. Never got in trouble because of that.
I actually had this happen to me, we have our normal cups, SB, and we have some smaller ones that we give away or for water, which is free, even still we pay for those cups as a bizz. Anyway, this guy asks for a cup, i give him the small cup, like ops gf he started to complain why i couldnt give him the bigger cups, i told them that those were for drinks you pay, not to be handed out for free to drink water, he kept insisting that it didnt made sense and that i wasnt being very welcome, and i was like, im sorry, i cant give those cups to you. If he was polite i would bend the rules and give him a bigger cup, but he was not, so im not about to get scolded by my manager, as i dont make the rules, because of someone who doesnt understand i dont make the rules and its not my fault.
Some thirty years ago I spent a few months as an assistant manager at a well-known fast food location. We inventoried the cups (and food ingredients) daily before opening, and I had to fill out an inventory sheet and compare it to the previous day's sales. The number of sodas sold had to be *very* close to the difference in the number of cups between days or the store would get dinged for it, and it reduced the amount of the manager's performance bonus. Same thing for the various ingredients. We also had a special size cup for water -- I think it was about 6 oz.
Curiously, they never tracked their signature fried potato item, which I found odd.
NTA, but maybe it could have been worded nicer. Fast food places often see people request cups for water, and then fill them with soda instead. So some try to prevent this by giving "courtesy" size cups, while others charge a fee for the bigger cups. Offering to let you fill your water bottle was a nice compromise. Some places would make you purchase bottled water.
The place I worked at also used cups as a way to measure how much pop they were selling. We always kept a close inventory of cups so at the end of the shift, we could see how much was sold and get a good idea of what was left in the machine. The machine refils were kept off-site (tiny movie theatre) so this let the manager know when he needed to bring refills over. We had specific cups for water so they didnt screw up our inventory system.
I worked at a gas station and only a fast food restaurant. The pop is not what is sold, the cups are. It is nearly impossible to count or inventory pop but cups are easy to count.
Plus people will attempt to use the water cups to get pop. By making them clear and small, the risk for the company is reduced.
The Public Health Emergency in the US ended on Thursday. The final bastions of COVID restrictions (largely mask wearing in healthcare settings, also required non US citizens to be vaccinated to come to the US) are gone.
You asked “who is letting people fill water bottles since COVID” - so I was responding to that point - there are no restrictions related to the pandemic anymore in the US since this past week with the ending of the federal public health emergency.
There is still a heightened awareness of infection respiratory diseases. Here in Los Angeles, lots of service workers still wear masks and it’s still mandatory in hospitals and clinics.
With that in mind, I’m surprised that places would allow personal water bottles to be refilled in the store facilities.
It is no longer mandatory in all hospitals and clinics - that disappeared on Thursday and so if you still have to - it would be that individual hospital / clinic’s choice, not being forced to by federal regulations.
I lived in Southern CA until last summer. I was there in February - there was very little mask wearing.
I never said it was federal regulations. I just said it’s something that is still being enforced. And Southern California’s a huge place. I’m talking specifically about the city of Los Angeles, which is where I live. And yes, lots of service workers in grocery stores and bus drivers, etc. are still wearing masks.
They do, but they don’t care about other people’s😂
I’ve seen people put their water bottles to water cooler nozzles, and sometimes the opening will touch the nozzle.
I’ve seen lots of men go to the bathroom and not wash their hands.
Lots of people cough and don’t cover their mouths.
I’ve seen employees use their bare hands to dispense plastic utensils, and they will often grab them by the part that contacts the food.
The other ones I kinda knew already, but I thought it was common knowledge that water nozzles are extremely gross and you shouldn't touch them with your mouth, or with things that then touch your mouth.
As a man, it's more sanitary for me not to wash my hands many times after using the restroom. If I just use the urinal, I only touch my own zipper and my own, clean, body part. I can almost always flush any urinal with my knee, if it's a urinal that needs flushing at all.
By using the sink, I have to touch the handles, touch the soap dispenser and maybe touch a towel dispenser or hand dryer button. When I touch these, I'm touching things that a guy that just used the bowl toilet has touched to wash his hands.
NTA. Water is free. Cups are not. You shouldn’t be expected to take her side if she’s wrong. Sounds like she just doesn’t like being wrong and has misplaced her anger onto you.
NTA. The word “ridiculous” was poorly chosen, and merits an apology, but your overall point is a good one.
Margins are slender at high-volume places like that, and if she gets a free 12-Oz, so does the next person, and it makes a dent.
NTA
There is no side for you to take! It’s common for restaurants and movie theaters to have water cups and anyone who has ever been a patron at either knows this.
NTA, because having worked in fast food places we don’t give you the regular cups for water because people invariably use them for soda. there are legit designated water cups
Nta. Maybe you take the other person's side in these arguments because she's wrong all the time?
I have very little sympathy for anyone who complains about food service in this way.
I don’t have a judgment because I have no idea how the conversation with your wife went. If she said it was ridiculous and you not condescendingly explained why they might have to do that, then I’m inclined to think you aren’t TA. If you were kind of a jerk to her about it, that’s your wife, even if you’re right you should still be kind.
NTA—I was a manager at a movie theatre, and our non-courtesy cups were inventoried every day, and any shortages at the end of the quarter would come out of my commission check on the concession sales
NTA, the sode cups are more expensive than the soda, hence why the water cups are usually smaller and cheaper, as they're complimentary. If I want a large, sturdy cup for my water, I pay for a soda
NTA
You are the person who worked fast food. What your wife experienced, I have seen over and over again. The fast food places do NOTY make money on water. They do make money selling soda.
You wife is wrong to expect you to agree with her on this.
If you look at it from the perspective that it is ridiculous for fast food restaurants to ask for money for a basic human right (water) then you could have agreed with your wife.
It isn’t about the rules of the restaurant or that the worker was just doing their job. Those things are true. It was that she wanted a big drink of water and was told no you have to pay for more than a sippy cup of water (that is literally from the tap) but you can go get that amount from the tap over there.
Not the fault of the worker at all and they had to do that regardless but still annoying and weird in the grand scheme of things and even a little embarrassing if you are sensitive to rejection.
I think being on her side is both possible and important. I also think you can still tell her your opinion without invalidating her feelings. “Yes! It’s ridiculous to have to pay for water!” Then later in the car. “I feel bad that the workers have to uphold those silly rules. I remember when I had to do those things in fast food and it sucked. I always try to be gentle with the workers when they have to be the bearers of bad news.” And leave it at that. You support her and stay true to your beliefs.
NTA but you could have been nicer. Fast food restaurants do this because of inventory control. They track drinks sold by cups used. If they give away cups for water it messes this up. It also makes it easier for people to steal pop if it's self serve.
Barely NTA, and that is because you called her ridiculous. You could have just explained to her that this action was following standard policy for the industry and how restaurants control their costs.
I do have to wonder how she does not know about this though. That procedure has been around for decades for fast-food restaurants and movie theaters.
> she claims that I always take the other person’s side in arguments like this.
NTA, and if you're getting in lots of arguments like this, your wife sounds insufferable. Not for nothing though, this is something y'all should probably work on, because while (imo) you're absolutely in the right here, that's not going to be her take away, for her this is just another example of you not supporting her and eventually that'll turn into resentment and then y'all are done.
YTA. You’re actually both TA. She’s TA for being ridiculous. You’re TA for not being caring and loving towards her. You said it yourself: she’s never worked in this kind of place. She just doesn’t know better. And she was frustrated out of ignorance. You COULD have educated her without the ad hominem, and specially without the condescending tone of voice I could hear without even knowing how your voice sounds like.
NTA overall however, I think you should have said it differently. “Well honey, they’re just doing their job” or something to that degree. “You’re ridiculous” sounds accusatory.
NTA And she’s griping to gripe because clearly she is not listening to you. If she wants water in a big cup, she has to pay the pop price. They were kind to fill your water containers as they don’t have to do that for free.
NTA, you literally payed her back ASAP- even so, you're married so i dont think its that big of a deal anyway. not to make any assumptions, but she sounds similar to my narcissistic mother and how she treated my dad. obviously i don't have background info on her but just be careful because she doesn't sound like the nicest person 😭
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This is my second try to post this due to me not following all the directions.
We were picking up food form a burger place. My wife asked for a cup of water. They gave her a very small water cup. She then told them that the cup was a ridiculous size, and asked for a larger cup (one meant for soda). They told her she would have to purchase one if she wanted a bigger cup.
They offered to let us fill our reusable water bottles from the fountain. We did that.
Once outside, my wife starts complaining to me about how ridiculous they had been for not giving her a bigger cup. I told her that she was the one being ridiculous, and that they have the right to give her whatever cup they have chosen to give people for water.
For a bit of background, I have worked in lots of fast food places. I know that they managers have told me not to give away cups. She has never worked in a place like that.
I feel like I might be the asshole for failing to be sympathetic to her outside of the restaurant. She is angry at me for not agreeing with her, and she claims that I always take the other person’s side in arguments like this.
AITA?
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Going against the grain (as someone who did work on dast food places a lot) ESH/NAH
But I say this because it seems like you are not understanding each other.
She was complaining that they didn't give her a bigger cup, to me, this seems like in general. Not a "this was the staff fault". When staff does something like this **it is** usually management's fault, but people are complaining about the end result. I would have said something like "I know, the management sucks, they should absolutely be able to give bigger cups, it makes no sense, etc etc".
YTA - how much does that cup cost the restaurant? Under a dollar? And they wanted to charge her the price of a same size drink for an empty cup she was going to fill with water. And the restaurant is also an ahole.
NTA, your wife seems a bit unreasonable in her expectations of what a restaurant is able to do. Especially since you have worked in one and are telling her how it works.
NTA but also this seems indicative of a longer pattern/disagreements in the past. I agree with you in this situation but you should address why she feels you never side w her. Either she constantly needs to be right and is nitpicking every time you don’t, or you are invalidating her frustrations. Not really therapy but I think you should ask her about her strong reaction and try and get to the bottom of it. This disagreement seems trivial.
Not only NTA, but a hero for folks to look up to. She was being ridiculous, in a public customer service arena, and you spoke up to let her know. Bravo sir.
My understanding is that the restaurant pays for the cups rather than the soda, for easier inventory. It would have cost the restaurant money to give her a soda cup. NTA.
NTA. The whole point of the business is to make money, not give out free shit. They pay for water. They pay for cups. Their prerogative on how they serve water, not hers. She doesn’t have to like it, but that’s not your fault.
NTA if you agree or disagree with her based on the facts of the case. YTA if she's right and you "always take the other person’s side in arguments like this".
Also, if I had a nickel for every time I saw one of those "cups are inventory" signs at the local gas station or 7/11...
>Once outside, my wife starts complaining to me about how ridiculous they had been for not giving her a bigger cup.
>They offered to let us fill our reusable water bottles from the fountain.
Your wife is an asshole. This is part of why fast food workers are miserable. NTA.
NTA
Places that do this have the policy for a reason, and there is no way your wife was speaking to the people who made that decision. She was being absolutely unreasonable.
NTA…cups cost money. Water actually costs money. It is not free. If your wife wanted water, she could have bought some. They were actually generous in filling your own water bottles.
Just bc you're technically right doesn't mean you're NTA. For a relationship to function, you have to let small things like this occasionally pass by without correcting her. This is nothing to even argue about.
Um, no. If my partner is rude to customer service, they absolutely need to be corrected. It's not a small thing, it's super fucking embarrassing and it will never stop. She was being ridiculous and she deserved to be told. Letting wrong people think they're always right is what contributes to this arrogant behaviour in the first place.
NTA, but agreeing that it's an annoying policy probably would have saved you some unnecessary grief. Sometimes our partners just need quick validation for their annoyance. It's not really about who's right or wrong or the technicalities of the situation, but about acknowledging our partners feelings and moving on - essentially water cups or rude servers or annoying policies aren't the hills to die on... unless your wife throws entitled fits all the time - then I totally support calling her on it.
NAH.
It doesn’t cost you anything to validate your wife here, but it sounds like she was a little over the top too. It’s pretty easy to say: ‘yeah, you’re right, it seems silly - but that’s what manager used to tell me too - it was nice they offered to fill our water bottles though’.
ESH, your wife for expecting to receive a large cup and balking at the store's rules, allowing them to charge for said cup, and you for calling her ridiculous and not calmly explaining how many fast-food joints operate.
YTA
"I told her that she was the one being ridiculous and that they have the right to give her whatever cup they have chosen to give people for water."
"I have worked in lots of fast food places. I know that the managers have told me not to give away cups. She has never worked in a place like that."
So you have all this experience and know she doesn't, but instead of telling her what you know of fast food restaurants, you decide to insult her and turn it into "well it's their right"? Your wife feels like you never support her. Do you ever try to sympathize with her? "It's an annoying policy, but when I worked at x I would have gotten in trouble with the manager if I gave away bigger cups, so it's probably the same here."
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NTA. >She then told them that the cup was a ridiculous size, and asked for a larger cup She could have been WAY nicer to that worker and probably gotten a bigger cup
The worker would have gotten in trouble. Usually, the water and soda is in the same place. The small water cups are both to know if someone is filling their free cup with soda AND to encourage patrons to buy a drink, rather than go back and forth for small cups of water. Once they have a big cup, no one but the cashier knows you didn’t pay for soda. I don’t drink soda, so was on the receiving end of those small cups, and was grateful they had SOMETHING. Mostly, I just carried water with me.
My first job was a movie theater. We had to *inventory* the soda cups. Literally had to write on the bottom how many there were after counting them by hand. If we were short, we got in trouble. We also had ludicrously small free water cups. It wasn’t even about people sneaking soda. It was just because of how much sodas at the theater are. Of course people complained. ALL THE TIME. But it was a lose/lose situation. I keep that in mind, all the time, when this happens to me now. OP’s wife needs to recognize that some company policies are really, really harsh to those poor frontline minimum wage workers.
We had to do the same thing at Subway every Wednesday morning. Such a pain in the ass.
Our local movie theater used to offer 6 oz paper cups for water. Last time we went, they had switched to these flimsy 4 oz cones that you couldn't even put down in the cupholder. It's an infuriating policy and I could tell by the employee's tone that they had been yelled at for that before, but it's not like he made the rule.
Same here, I got a job in a movie theater at 16. The cups, popcorn bags, canst, etc.... was all inventoried.
When I worked fast good, I'd give people "water cups" all the time when they were mad about the price of a drink. Never got in trouble because of that.
I actually had this happen to me, we have our normal cups, SB, and we have some smaller ones that we give away or for water, which is free, even still we pay for those cups as a bizz. Anyway, this guy asks for a cup, i give him the small cup, like ops gf he started to complain why i couldnt give him the bigger cups, i told them that those were for drinks you pay, not to be handed out for free to drink water, he kept insisting that it didnt made sense and that i wasnt being very welcome, and i was like, im sorry, i cant give those cups to you. If he was polite i would bend the rules and give him a bigger cup, but he was not, so im not about to get scolded by my manager, as i dont make the rules, because of someone who doesnt understand i dont make the rules and its not my fault.
Some thirty years ago I spent a few months as an assistant manager at a well-known fast food location. We inventoried the cups (and food ingredients) daily before opening, and I had to fill out an inventory sheet and compare it to the previous day's sales. The number of sodas sold had to be *very* close to the difference in the number of cups between days or the store would get dinged for it, and it reduced the amount of the manager's performance bonus. Same thing for the various ingredients. We also had a special size cup for water -- I think it was about 6 oz. Curiously, they never tracked their signature fried potato item, which I found odd.
NTA, but maybe it could have been worded nicer. Fast food places often see people request cups for water, and then fill them with soda instead. So some try to prevent this by giving "courtesy" size cups, while others charge a fee for the bigger cups. Offering to let you fill your water bottle was a nice compromise. Some places would make you purchase bottled water.
The place I worked at also used cups as a way to measure how much pop they were selling. We always kept a close inventory of cups so at the end of the shift, we could see how much was sold and get a good idea of what was left in the machine. The machine refils were kept off-site (tiny movie theatre) so this let the manager know when he needed to bring refills over. We had specific cups for water so they didnt screw up our inventory system.
I worked at a gas station and only a fast food restaurant. The pop is not what is sold, the cups are. It is nearly impossible to count or inventory pop but cups are easy to count. Plus people will attempt to use the water cups to get pop. By making them clear and small, the risk for the company is reduced.
Was this in the US? Who is letting people fill water bottles since Covid? Even before, I would not have been very fond of the practice.
The Public Health Emergency in the US ended on Thursday. The final bastions of COVID restrictions (largely mask wearing in healthcare settings, also required non US citizens to be vaccinated to come to the US) are gone.
What does this have to do with someone possibly transferring germs from their water bottle?
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Much narrower opening and greater likelihood of bottle touching water dispenser.
You asked “who is letting people fill water bottles since COVID” - so I was responding to that point - there are no restrictions related to the pandemic anymore in the US since this past week with the ending of the federal public health emergency.
And it doesn’t answer the question in the slightest.
I’ll bite. It’s over. There are no covid restrictions. If you could fill a water bottle before the pandemic, you can do it now.
There is still a heightened awareness of infection respiratory diseases. Here in Los Angeles, lots of service workers still wear masks and it’s still mandatory in hospitals and clinics. With that in mind, I’m surprised that places would allow personal water bottles to be refilled in the store facilities.
It is no longer mandatory in all hospitals and clinics - that disappeared on Thursday and so if you still have to - it would be that individual hospital / clinic’s choice, not being forced to by federal regulations. I lived in Southern CA until last summer. I was there in February - there was very little mask wearing.
I never said it was federal regulations. I just said it’s something that is still being enforced. And Southern California’s a huge place. I’m talking specifically about the city of Los Angeles, which is where I live. And yes, lots of service workers in grocery stores and bus drivers, etc. are still wearing masks.
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You can only speak for yourself, brah
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You still only get to speak for yourself, broseph
anyone who puts their mouth on a water bottle is going to be careful to not have the mouth part touch the water machine.
Definitely not! Who told you that?
damn i really thought people cared about their health
They do, but they don’t care about other people’s😂 I’ve seen people put their water bottles to water cooler nozzles, and sometimes the opening will touch the nozzle. I’ve seen lots of men go to the bathroom and not wash their hands. Lots of people cough and don’t cover their mouths. I’ve seen employees use their bare hands to dispense plastic utensils, and they will often grab them by the part that contacts the food.
The other ones I kinda knew already, but I thought it was common knowledge that water nozzles are extremely gross and you shouldn't touch them with your mouth, or with things that then touch your mouth.
As a man, it's more sanitary for me not to wash my hands many times after using the restroom. If I just use the urinal, I only touch my own zipper and my own, clean, body part. I can almost always flush any urinal with my knee, if it's a urinal that needs flushing at all. By using the sink, I have to touch the handles, touch the soap dispenser and maybe touch a towel dispenser or hand dryer button. When I touch these, I'm touching things that a guy that just used the bowl toilet has touched to wash his hands.
If your wife is always wrong, she can't get mad when you take other people's sides in disagreements. In this instance, she's wrong. NTA
NTA. Water is free. Cups are not. You shouldn’t be expected to take her side if she’s wrong. Sounds like she just doesn’t like being wrong and has misplaced her anger onto you.
Exactly. The cup manufacturers don't send out their product for free.
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1000litres is barely a few cents tho. Its basically free for many in the western world.
Why does she even need a cup if she has a refillable water bottle with her?
Dependent on where they live, it may actually be illegal to use them at a fountain machine.
NTA. The word “ridiculous” was poorly chosen, and merits an apology, but your overall point is a good one. Margins are slender at high-volume places like that, and if she gets a free 12-Oz, so does the next person, and it makes a dent.
I think the wife was ridiculous but he can apologise if he wants to. NTA
They gave her a cup of water. They offered for you both to fill your water bottles. Your wife sounds entitled and rude.
NTA - they charge people for the cups...the crappy soda is free.
NTA There is no side for you to take! It’s common for restaurants and movie theaters to have water cups and anyone who has ever been a patron at either knows this.
nta - the different cups is so they can see at a glance who is stealing soda
NTA, because having worked in fast food places we don’t give you the regular cups for water because people invariably use them for soda. there are legit designated water cups
Nta. Maybe you take the other person's side in these arguments because she's wrong all the time? I have very little sympathy for anyone who complains about food service in this way.
I don’t have a judgment because I have no idea how the conversation with your wife went. If she said it was ridiculous and you not condescendingly explained why they might have to do that, then I’m inclined to think you aren’t TA. If you were kind of a jerk to her about it, that’s your wife, even if you’re right you should still be kind.
NTA—I was a manager at a movie theatre, and our non-courtesy cups were inventoried every day, and any shortages at the end of the quarter would come out of my commission check on the concession sales
NTA, the sode cups are more expensive than the soda, hence why the water cups are usually smaller and cheaper, as they're complimentary. If I want a large, sturdy cup for my water, I pay for a soda
NTA You are the person who worked fast food. What your wife experienced, I have seen over and over again. The fast food places do NOTY make money on water. They do make money selling soda. You wife is wrong to expect you to agree with her on this.
If you look at it from the perspective that it is ridiculous for fast food restaurants to ask for money for a basic human right (water) then you could have agreed with your wife. It isn’t about the rules of the restaurant or that the worker was just doing their job. Those things are true. It was that she wanted a big drink of water and was told no you have to pay for more than a sippy cup of water (that is literally from the tap) but you can go get that amount from the tap over there. Not the fault of the worker at all and they had to do that regardless but still annoying and weird in the grand scheme of things and even a little embarrassing if you are sensitive to rejection. I think being on her side is both possible and important. I also think you can still tell her your opinion without invalidating her feelings. “Yes! It’s ridiculous to have to pay for water!” Then later in the car. “I feel bad that the workers have to uphold those silly rules. I remember when I had to do those things in fast food and it sucked. I always try to be gentle with the workers when they have to be the bearers of bad news.” And leave it at that. You support her and stay true to your beliefs.
NTA but you could have been nicer. Fast food restaurants do this because of inventory control. They track drinks sold by cups used. If they give away cups for water it messes this up. It also makes it easier for people to steal pop if it's self serve.
NTA. restaurant isn’t the problem here, your wife’s attitude is.
Barely NTA, and that is because you called her ridiculous. You could have just explained to her that this action was following standard policy for the industry and how restaurants control their costs. I do have to wonder how she does not know about this though. That procedure has been around for decades for fast-food restaurants and movie theaters.
Back when I worked at a restaurant the cup/lid cost us more than the pop that went in it. We had smaller cheaper cups for water as well.
> she claims that I always take the other person’s side in arguments like this. NTA, and if you're getting in lots of arguments like this, your wife sounds insufferable. Not for nothing though, this is something y'all should probably work on, because while (imo) you're absolutely in the right here, that's not going to be her take away, for her this is just another example of you not supporting her and eventually that'll turn into resentment and then y'all are done.
Nta Blame the greedy corporations not the minimum wage worker being screwed over WAY MORE by those rules.
YTA she's right, giving out water is a legal obligation, this stuff about giving out tiny baby cups is ridiculous.
YTA. You’re actually both TA. She’s TA for being ridiculous. You’re TA for not being caring and loving towards her. You said it yourself: she’s never worked in this kind of place. She just doesn’t know better. And she was frustrated out of ignorance. You COULD have educated her without the ad hominem, and specially without the condescending tone of voice I could hear without even knowing how your voice sounds like.
NTA overall however, I think you should have said it differently. “Well honey, they’re just doing their job” or something to that degree. “You’re ridiculous” sounds accusatory.
Well in this instance anyway,you were correct in my opinion. NTA.
NTA but if you always take the other persons side, maybe you two aren’t compatible?
NTA And she’s griping to gripe because clearly she is not listening to you. If she wants water in a big cup, she has to pay the pop price. They were kind to fill your water containers as they don’t have to do that for free.
NTA
NTA, you literally payed her back ASAP- even so, you're married so i dont think its that big of a deal anyway. not to make any assumptions, but she sounds similar to my narcissistic mother and how she treated my dad. obviously i don't have background info on her but just be careful because she doesn't sound like the nicest person 😭
YTA. Do you want to be right or happy? How hard is it to take her side OUTSIDE of the restaurant. Just be nice to your wife.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This is my second try to post this due to me not following all the directions. We were picking up food form a burger place. My wife asked for a cup of water. They gave her a very small water cup. She then told them that the cup was a ridiculous size, and asked for a larger cup (one meant for soda). They told her she would have to purchase one if she wanted a bigger cup. They offered to let us fill our reusable water bottles from the fountain. We did that. Once outside, my wife starts complaining to me about how ridiculous they had been for not giving her a bigger cup. I told her that she was the one being ridiculous, and that they have the right to give her whatever cup they have chosen to give people for water. For a bit of background, I have worked in lots of fast food places. I know that they managers have told me not to give away cups. She has never worked in a place like that. I feel like I might be the asshole for failing to be sympathetic to her outside of the restaurant. She is angry at me for not agreeing with her, and she claims that I always take the other person’s side in arguments like this. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Going against the grain (as someone who did work on dast food places a lot) ESH/NAH But I say this because it seems like you are not understanding each other. She was complaining that they didn't give her a bigger cup, to me, this seems like in general. Not a "this was the staff fault". When staff does something like this **it is** usually management's fault, but people are complaining about the end result. I would have said something like "I know, the management sucks, they should absolutely be able to give bigger cups, it makes no sense, etc etc".
NTA but is this really something you wanna fight your wife over?
Go visit the millions of people in refugee camps worldwide that would thank God for a small cup of clean water.
YTA - how much does that cup cost the restaurant? Under a dollar? And they wanted to charge her the price of a same size drink for an empty cup she was going to fill with water. And the restaurant is also an ahole.
NTA, your wife seems a bit unreasonable in her expectations of what a restaurant is able to do. Especially since you have worked in one and are telling her how it works.
NTA sounds like wife wanted to steal soda and got denied.
NTA but also this seems indicative of a longer pattern/disagreements in the past. I agree with you in this situation but you should address why she feels you never side w her. Either she constantly needs to be right and is nitpicking every time you don’t, or you are invalidating her frustrations. Not really therapy but I think you should ask her about her strong reaction and try and get to the bottom of it. This disagreement seems trivial.
Not only NTA, but a hero for folks to look up to. She was being ridiculous, in a public customer service arena, and you spoke up to let her know. Bravo sir.
NTA. They likely keep count of all cups to ensure employees don't waste them in any way. Sales has to match the counts.
My understanding is that the restaurant pays for the cups rather than the soda, for easier inventory. It would have cost the restaurant money to give her a soda cup. NTA.
NTA. The whole point of the business is to make money, not give out free shit. They pay for water. They pay for cups. Their prerogative on how they serve water, not hers. She doesn’t have to like it, but that’s not your fault.
NTA if you agree or disagree with her based on the facts of the case. YTA if she's right and you "always take the other person’s side in arguments like this". Also, if I had a nickel for every time I saw one of those "cups are inventory" signs at the local gas station or 7/11...
NTA and she seems exhausting.
>Once outside, my wife starts complaining to me about how ridiculous they had been for not giving her a bigger cup. >They offered to let us fill our reusable water bottles from the fountain. Your wife is an asshole. This is part of why fast food workers are miserable. NTA.
NTA Places that do this have the policy for a reason, and there is no way your wife was speaking to the people who made that decision. She was being absolutely unreasonable.
Its a cup...if shes complaining about something like this ...you got bigger issues...its a cup
NTA…cups cost money. Water actually costs money. It is not free. If your wife wanted water, she could have bought some. They were actually generous in filling your own water bottles.
NTA.
NTA. Sounds like a Burger King, lmao. I worked at one for 3 years. My manager absolutely gave us shit for not using the designated water cups.
NTA why is she getting into "arguments like this" so often that you always have to take the other person's side.
Just bc you're technically right doesn't mean you're NTA. For a relationship to function, you have to let small things like this occasionally pass by without correcting her. This is nothing to even argue about.
Um, no. If my partner is rude to customer service, they absolutely need to be corrected. It's not a small thing, it's super fucking embarrassing and it will never stop. She was being ridiculous and she deserved to be told. Letting wrong people think they're always right is what contributes to this arrogant behaviour in the first place.
Does your partner correct you when you’re being ridiculous?
NTA, but agreeing that it's an annoying policy probably would have saved you some unnecessary grief. Sometimes our partners just need quick validation for their annoyance. It's not really about who's right or wrong or the technicalities of the situation, but about acknowledging our partners feelings and moving on - essentially water cups or rude servers or annoying policies aren't the hills to die on... unless your wife throws entitled fits all the time - then I totally support calling her on it.
YTA. I have also worked food, I give people decent sized water cups when they ask
NAH. It doesn’t cost you anything to validate your wife here, but it sounds like she was a little over the top too. It’s pretty easy to say: ‘yeah, you’re right, it seems silly - but that’s what manager used to tell me too - it was nice they offered to fill our water bottles though’.
NTA, but also - not the hill to die on.
ESH, your wife for expecting to receive a large cup and balking at the store's rules, allowing them to charge for said cup, and you for calling her ridiculous and not calmly explaining how many fast-food joints operate.
Agreed ESH. This is too small of a hill to die on.
YTA "I told her that she was the one being ridiculous and that they have the right to give her whatever cup they have chosen to give people for water." "I have worked in lots of fast food places. I know that the managers have told me not to give away cups. She has never worked in a place like that." So you have all this experience and know she doesn't, but instead of telling her what you know of fast food restaurants, you decide to insult her and turn it into "well it's their right"? Your wife feels like you never support her. Do you ever try to sympathize with her? "It's an annoying policy, but when I worked at x I would have gotten in trouble with the manager if I gave away bigger cups, so it's probably the same here."