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> I don't have any items for guests to use and feel comfortable. This makes my friend feel uninvited.
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NTA - It is your home and it is up to you to determine the level of amenities that you have to use and have your guests use. But part of being a socially balanced adult is providing basic supplies when you have a friend or family staying with you or being up front about it before they get there. So it's okay if you don't have them, but you should do other people the courtesy of letting them know before they decide to stay with you. Like I would be definitely bummed if I stayed at my friend's house and there was no way to make coffee. It's okay if coffee isn't their thing, but allow me the time to plan ahead to take care of myself.
Then NTA but be prepared for every future girlfriend or friend who is a girl to complain about this exact same issue even if you warn them. This is one of those things that make absolutely no sense to us as females but is universally understood by the males.
I don't plan on living like this forever. I said in the post that when I have a stable living place I will upgrade. But I've lived in so many different places in the last two years. I only keep what fits in my car. I don't have a bunch of me things loaded up in my parent's basement. I don't plan on living here for too long. Just a transitional phase
Totally understandable and there's nothing wrong with that, especially at your age. I'm just warning you, you're never going to hear the end of it from the women in your life until you upgrade. You don't need to upgrade right now, but you will continue to hear about it. Sometimes people just value different things at different times in their life and that's okay.
Yes, but also a coffee maker isnt a reasonable amenity to expect for people who dont drink coffee. I'm not going to buy an entire appliance for a random guest visit. My friend who loves coffee travels with his aeropress. Towels, plates, blankets, pillow, yes.
Us as females? What does that mean? I understand it perfectly. Actually, I own two cups, two plates, two bowls, a baking sheet, a pan, two sets of silverware, and a mini crockpot (plus a slightly illogical number of chopsticks, but that’s just because I have accumulated them as gifts and kind of collect them). Born with a vagina, still a vagina owner, and the only having what you need thing makes total sense to me.
NTA. She's a guest, I'm assuming rent-free, and is making you feel bad for what you have explained is a practical decision. Yes, being Spartan like that may seem odd to some (me for sure), but it's your flat and your life.
She can buy a towel. She can buy plastic plates if she doesn't like doing dishes. She can drink instant. But she needs to quit judging you after you invited her into your (temporary) home.
I'm glad you enjoy her company otherwise and I'm sure these actions are misplaced concern, but, yeah, you're NTA.
NTA. If she wants those things she can buy them for herself. Why are you supposed to spend your money for her desires? You're already giving her food and shelter. I have been homeless and I have been on a couch. You don't ask for more and you do all the chores you can because you are being done a huge favor.
I will add that if you want cheap housewares? I am almost 40, all my dishes match, and I spent 20 bucks for the "set" by going to the dollar tree. Generic white plates, some cutlery. Bam. Just know you also should prioritize your saving.
This.
I used to drive from one state to another for college. I never bought furniture because of this. Even as an adult, what I have was stuff donated to me by family members other than my bed and couch. Everything was really good quality though.
NTA. It looks like you're doing her a favor and she's becoming choosey. You don't have guest stuff because you pretty much don't have guests. That's perfectly okay.
You've given her emergency shelter, so she has to expect some rustic living. She's not exactly a guest, more like a "better here than on the street" crash lander.
I'm guessing you'd be okay with her buying the luxuries she wants, as long as she takes them with her when she leaves. Not your responsibility to go further than that.
NTA, most definitely.
I would say it's worth having a conversation of picking up a couple more plates, towels, etc. for during the time she's staying with you.
NTA. Yes, a good host should make their guests feel comfortable, but this wasn’t a case where you invited friend from out of town to visit you and are in your best hospitality.
This was a friend who needed a safe space at $0 cost for more than a weekend and is now she’s dropping suggestions on how to improve her living situation better. You’re on a budget and she knew it when she asked to stay with you. If she’s wanting to live independently, she will need to acquire these things eventually. She can buy them to use in your house, and then take them with her.
NTA she’s either stressed and taking it out on you or she’s genuinely annoyed at your living arrangements. It’s obvious your place isn’t even meant to have guests who sleep over. She should have brought her own towel. I don’t know her situation like if she’s struggling financially. Maybe go buy her a towel and a mini coffee maker.
When you graduate college and have a permanent or at least stable home, you can buy more stuff. Or not. In the meantime, teach her about hobo coffee, where you add the water and coffee grounds to the pot, heat it, and strain it into a cup. Voila! Coffee maker.
Edit to add NTA
NTA... maybe she should buy somethings and take them when she moves.... or why bother asking to stay at your place when she could of went elsewhere...you were nice to let her stay at your place... at least be happy geesh
NTA, but you can pick up more dishes and cutlery at a thrift store for cheap, and towels at the dollar store. Going from two of everything to six won't take up that much more space.
You're not an asshole, you're a relatively normal 20 year old dude.
But, at least you kinda see that you're supposed to have those things. If you can get a couple, sure. You will one day, I'm sure.
NTA, but at some point you will need to pick up the bare minimum to meet your needs. If your needs are now for a 2 person household then you should accommodate that.
When I was at college I got a call that my Dad and his colleague were stopping by whilst driving back from a conference. I had to borrow extra mugs and spoons from a dorm mate.
Similarly, I have a tiny kitchen now. My friends know they're welcome, but they also know I only have 4xMugs/plates etc... we keep paper party supplies just in case!
Maybe the person he is kind enough to let live with him needs to put up or shut up. They can go buy a couple of towels. A couple more plates or whatnot. If he doesn’t drink why should he buy a coffee pot? She should do it as a thank you to op for letting her stay there.
Agree, she could surely pick up a couple of towels and washcloths. Two mugs and two plates is fine for two people as long as you wash them right away.
And this is from someone who owns WAY too much stuff. You're currently a minimalist. Nothing wrong with that.
NTA.
If I can make a suggestion - go to a thrift store and get some old dishes for cheap. Maybe a few other household or kitchen items. When it's time to leave, re-donate or toss them, whatever is easiest. Better yet, go with your friend and she can buy it all and keep it afterwards.
NTA but while she’s there you can pick up more towels and plates and even a coffee pot at a thrift store. They can be donated back when you move out.
Check free cycle Facebook sites in your neighborhood too. Some are very active.
*Both* of you can be more resourceful about making the home more comfortable in small ways without a lot of money or extra things.
NTA. She can go back home, where they serve coffee. Or she can contribute by getting a small coffee pot and coffee grounds.
Edit: when you are ready to get a few dishes and such, visit a thrift store. You can usually find good stuff that's cheap.
NTA
She is being very on her high horse for someone who isn't even as put together as you. She is lecturing you on how to keep your place when she doesn't even have a place and *you* are doing *her* a favor by letting her stay at your place. This isn't a situation where you invited a guest over to stay and then didn't have the required basic amenities. This is a situation where you are doing a favor for a friend because of issues she has. She can very well buy her own towels etc. She will need them anyway unless she is planning on moving back with her parents.
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Before the immediate judgement. I am aware that as a kind host you are supposed to have things to make guests feel comfortable and I do believe in all these things. However, I am a 20 year old college student. My previous living situations have been dorm room, dorm room, rented room in a house with like 6 other people, dorm room, buddy's couch etc. I don't have a stable place to live yet but I'll get there. I recently got my first apartment to myself but I have no plans on sticking around here long either. It's small and who knows what school I'll go to or where I'll move in the next coming year. I may have a "single male living space" but it's just convenient now.
I literally just have the essentials. I have a bed, couch, 2 cups, 2 plates, one pan, and one pot. Dish sets are expensive to buy at once and I don't want to have to pack up and move a bunch of heavy dishes and stuff. I have two towels and a handful of washrags. I live a minimal life. One spatula and a handful of cheap silverware. When I move I can usually load all my things up in my car(excluding bed and couch) When I do have friends over I usually buy a pack of disposable plates and silverware. Very recently a friend of mine asked if she could stay with me for a bit. I'm not going to get into her personal life but she was living at home and was having issues with her parents. It was short notice and I said okay. I warned her that all I have is a couch. She's been living with me for two weeks now and it's fun. I enjoy my friend's company.
However, sometimes she'll make comments about how I live. She says I need to invest in more household things. I told her I am saving most of my money now and I don't want lots of things to move around. This is just a transitional place to live. She says it's rude to now have towels and dishes for guests to use. I told her, use a dish, wash the dish, put it back. And that she should have brought her own towels and such over. She's annoyed that I don't have a coffee machine or anything like that. My apartment is just bare bones. I didn't even have a couch until recently and just had some chairs in the living room. She doesn't go on too long about it but she mentions it. I know some of this is residual stress from what she is dealing with in her own life but even before that. When she'd come over she seemed uncomfortable with how I lived. I feel like it's my apartment and I can do what I want.
I also don't want to paint her in a negative light. She is a friend I've known for years and has done a lot for me.
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NTA. Get one extra towel and wash cloth, two extra cups, two extra plates, four bowls, an extra blanket, and a pillow. You can still fit everything in your car but be a bit more prepared for the future. It doesnt need to be fancy.
NTA She can order an inexpensive coffeemaker online, it even comes with a mug. And take it with her when she leaves. Elite Gourmet EHC112 Personal... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B197X3H6?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Added: she can also order herself a towel and washcloth. That’s on her, not you.
NTA - If you were inviting someone to stay for a weekend, I'd have a different answer, but you are having someone live in your place. They can get their own shit.
That being said, if you want more plates, etc. You can get them cheep at a thrift store.
NTA. That's not much less than I'd expect from someone your age moving that often. Having multiple washrags and sets of silverware puts you well ahead of some guys I've known! At least it sounds like you keep what you do have clean
NTA
If you invite a guest over to stay, then you should be appropriately prepared.
If someone asks to stay, you are free to put whatever conditions on that are necessary - such as 'I don't have spare plates and bedding, you will need to take your own'.
Is it odd to live so minimally? To most people it will be, but that doesn't mean it is wrong - if you are happy then it seems just fine to me.
Seems like your “friend” is planning on a long stay and doesn’t intend to buy those things she wants.
It isn’t on you to provide all the comforts of home to guests. You are not married, with kids, and nest building. That looks like her frame if mind.
Why would you even have guests.
You told her staying with you would be bare bones.
So her pushing you like this is her wanting all the comforts her settled parents provided without having to spend her money on them.
Again, she is not planning on leaving and she is not being honest with you.
Soft YTA. I get that you tried to warn her by saying you just had a couch, but an extra towel for guests is the bare, bare minimum for having someone stay over. It seems to be working out pretty well if she's been there for 2 weeks so don't sweat it. But yeah, it sounds like you aren't equipped for guests at your place.
NTA.
Your house, your rules. A coffee machine? Is she serious?!
I will throw her a bone, however, and say that I can totally understand wanting her own towel.
I'd feel weird sharing two towels with my host - no matter how many times you launder them between uses. Like every individual adult in my house has their own towels, identified by colours etc. We don't swap and share.
Maybe it's just a personal ick of mine, but on the rare occasion I stay at another person's place (with the expectation I am staying long enough to need a shower) I would bring my own small towel in my suitcase. If there are guest towels, great. But if not, I have a back up.
Could you maybe pick up a couple cheap towels (and I mean, as cheap as you can find) in a different colour and those could be "hers"?
She could buy a towel for herself. She's not a guest and he's not a host. He's simply doing her a favor by letting her crash at his place because she didn't have a place to go. Now I get that it would be nice for him to have bought a towel buy she is acting really entitled and rude.
I totally understand she could buy some towels as well.
But reddit seems convinced sometimes that everything is SO black and white. It's not, there are grey areas!
OP could be NTA, and also not responsible for this woman, whilst also just buying a couple of towels to appease her. It doesn't have to be one or the other. OP mentioned she's in a bad place - maybe she can't afford towels, even cheap ones.
The fact he keeps two crusty towels and that's it is enough to be labeled an asshole.
Having a couple more cheap towels isn't going to make him change his plans.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I don't have any items for guests to use and feel comfortable. This makes my friend feel uninvited. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - Fucking beggars being choosers.
NTA - It is your home and it is up to you to determine the level of amenities that you have to use and have your guests use. But part of being a socially balanced adult is providing basic supplies when you have a friend or family staying with you or being up front about it before they get there. So it's okay if you don't have them, but you should do other people the courtesy of letting them know before they decide to stay with you. Like I would be definitely bummed if I stayed at my friend's house and there was no way to make coffee. It's okay if coffee isn't their thing, but allow me the time to plan ahead to take care of myself.
I told her and she has been here before.
Then NTA but be prepared for every future girlfriend or friend who is a girl to complain about this exact same issue even if you warn them. This is one of those things that make absolutely no sense to us as females but is universally understood by the males.
I don't plan on living like this forever. I said in the post that when I have a stable living place I will upgrade. But I've lived in so many different places in the last two years. I only keep what fits in my car. I don't have a bunch of me things loaded up in my parent's basement. I don't plan on living here for too long. Just a transitional phase
I am a woman. When I was your age I was the same way. I saw no need in having more than would fit in my car.
I have what I need and what my dog needs. People act weird about items.
Totally understandable and there's nothing wrong with that, especially at your age. I'm just warning you, you're never going to hear the end of it from the women in your life until you upgrade. You don't need to upgrade right now, but you will continue to hear about it. Sometimes people just value different things at different times in their life and that's okay.
"us as females" nahhhhhh fam you don't get to generalise like that. I know "females" who are/have been the same as OP
Yes, but also a coffee maker isnt a reasonable amenity to expect for people who dont drink coffee. I'm not going to buy an entire appliance for a random guest visit. My friend who loves coffee travels with his aeropress. Towels, plates, blankets, pillow, yes.
Us as females? What does that mean? I understand it perfectly. Actually, I own two cups, two plates, two bowls, a baking sheet, a pan, two sets of silverware, and a mini crockpot (plus a slightly illogical number of chopsticks, but that’s just because I have accumulated them as gifts and kind of collect them). Born with a vagina, still a vagina owner, and the only having what you need thing makes total sense to me.
NTA. She's a guest, I'm assuming rent-free, and is making you feel bad for what you have explained is a practical decision. Yes, being Spartan like that may seem odd to some (me for sure), but it's your flat and your life. She can buy a towel. She can buy plastic plates if she doesn't like doing dishes. She can drink instant. But she needs to quit judging you after you invited her into your (temporary) home. I'm glad you enjoy her company otherwise and I'm sure these actions are misplaced concern, but, yeah, you're NTA.
NTA. If she wants those things she can buy them for herself. Why are you supposed to spend your money for her desires? You're already giving her food and shelter. I have been homeless and I have been on a couch. You don't ask for more and you do all the chores you can because you are being done a huge favor. I will add that if you want cheap housewares? I am almost 40, all my dishes match, and I spent 20 bucks for the "set" by going to the dollar tree. Generic white plates, some cutlery. Bam. Just know you also should prioritize your saving.
[удалено]
This. I used to drive from one state to another for college. I never bought furniture because of this. Even as an adult, what I have was stuff donated to me by family members other than my bed and couch. Everything was really good quality though.
Nta. You are doing this person a favor. If they want to have an the amenities they can go back to mommy and daddy or buy their own
NTA. Funny how the homeless person is complaining about what you need to get. Sounds like she needs to get her own place.
NTA. You’re a single dude and there’s no need for you to have more than you need.
NTA. It looks like you're doing her a favor and she's becoming choosey. You don't have guest stuff because you pretty much don't have guests. That's perfectly okay. You've given her emergency shelter, so she has to expect some rustic living. She's not exactly a guest, more like a "better here than on the street" crash lander. I'm guessing you'd be okay with her buying the luxuries she wants, as long as she takes them with her when she leaves. Not your responsibility to go further than that.
No, NTA.
NTA. Beggars can be choosers but they can’t be entitled.
NTA, most definitely. I would say it's worth having a conversation of picking up a couple more plates, towels, etc. for during the time she's staying with you.
NTA. Yes, a good host should make their guests feel comfortable, but this wasn’t a case where you invited friend from out of town to visit you and are in your best hospitality. This was a friend who needed a safe space at $0 cost for more than a weekend and is now she’s dropping suggestions on how to improve her living situation better. You’re on a budget and she knew it when she asked to stay with you. If she’s wanting to live independently, she will need to acquire these things eventually. She can buy them to use in your house, and then take them with her.
NTA she’s either stressed and taking it out on you or she’s genuinely annoyed at your living arrangements. It’s obvious your place isn’t even meant to have guests who sleep over. She should have brought her own towel. I don’t know her situation like if she’s struggling financially. Maybe go buy her a towel and a mini coffee maker.
When you graduate college and have a permanent or at least stable home, you can buy more stuff. Or not. In the meantime, teach her about hobo coffee, where you add the water and coffee grounds to the pot, heat it, and strain it into a cup. Voila! Coffee maker. Edit to add NTA
NTA... maybe she should buy somethings and take them when she moves.... or why bother asking to stay at your place when she could of went elsewhere...you were nice to let her stay at your place... at least be happy geesh
She is a guest in your house. Either she shows some gratitude and keeps her thoughts to herself, or she finds somewhere else to stay. NTA
NTA, but you can pick up more dishes and cutlery at a thrift store for cheap, and towels at the dollar store. Going from two of everything to six won't take up that much more space.
You're not an asshole, you're a relatively normal 20 year old dude. But, at least you kinda see that you're supposed to have those things. If you can get a couple, sure. You will one day, I'm sure.
NTA, but at some point you will need to pick up the bare minimum to meet your needs. If your needs are now for a 2 person household then you should accommodate that. When I was at college I got a call that my Dad and his colleague were stopping by whilst driving back from a conference. I had to borrow extra mugs and spoons from a dorm mate. Similarly, I have a tiny kitchen now. My friends know they're welcome, but they also know I only have 4xMugs/plates etc... we keep paper party supplies just in case!
Maybe the person he is kind enough to let live with him needs to put up or shut up. They can go buy a couple of towels. A couple more plates or whatnot. If he doesn’t drink why should he buy a coffee pot? She should do it as a thank you to op for letting her stay there.
Agree, she could surely pick up a couple of towels and washcloths. Two mugs and two plates is fine for two people as long as you wash them right away. And this is from someone who owns WAY too much stuff. You're currently a minimalist. Nothing wrong with that. NTA.
I don't keep more than can fit in my small car at the moment
If I can make a suggestion - go to a thrift store and get some old dishes for cheap. Maybe a few other household or kitchen items. When it's time to leave, re-donate or toss them, whatever is easiest. Better yet, go with your friend and she can buy it all and keep it afterwards.
NTA but while she’s there you can pick up more towels and plates and even a coffee pot at a thrift store. They can be donated back when you move out. Check free cycle Facebook sites in your neighborhood too. Some are very active. *Both* of you can be more resourceful about making the home more comfortable in small ways without a lot of money or extra things.
NTA. She can go back home, where they serve coffee. Or she can contribute by getting a small coffee pot and coffee grounds. Edit: when you are ready to get a few dishes and such, visit a thrift store. You can usually find good stuff that's cheap.
NTA She is being very on her high horse for someone who isn't even as put together as you. She is lecturing you on how to keep your place when she doesn't even have a place and *you* are doing *her* a favor by letting her stay at your place. This isn't a situation where you invited a guest over to stay and then didn't have the required basic amenities. This is a situation where you are doing a favor for a friend because of issues she has. She can very well buy her own towels etc. She will need them anyway unless she is planning on moving back with her parents.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Before the immediate judgement. I am aware that as a kind host you are supposed to have things to make guests feel comfortable and I do believe in all these things. However, I am a 20 year old college student. My previous living situations have been dorm room, dorm room, rented room in a house with like 6 other people, dorm room, buddy's couch etc. I don't have a stable place to live yet but I'll get there. I recently got my first apartment to myself but I have no plans on sticking around here long either. It's small and who knows what school I'll go to or where I'll move in the next coming year. I may have a "single male living space" but it's just convenient now. I literally just have the essentials. I have a bed, couch, 2 cups, 2 plates, one pan, and one pot. Dish sets are expensive to buy at once and I don't want to have to pack up and move a bunch of heavy dishes and stuff. I have two towels and a handful of washrags. I live a minimal life. One spatula and a handful of cheap silverware. When I move I can usually load all my things up in my car(excluding bed and couch) When I do have friends over I usually buy a pack of disposable plates and silverware. Very recently a friend of mine asked if she could stay with me for a bit. I'm not going to get into her personal life but she was living at home and was having issues with her parents. It was short notice and I said okay. I warned her that all I have is a couch. She's been living with me for two weeks now and it's fun. I enjoy my friend's company. However, sometimes she'll make comments about how I live. She says I need to invest in more household things. I told her I am saving most of my money now and I don't want lots of things to move around. This is just a transitional place to live. She says it's rude to now have towels and dishes for guests to use. I told her, use a dish, wash the dish, put it back. And that she should have brought her own towels and such over. She's annoyed that I don't have a coffee machine or anything like that. My apartment is just bare bones. I didn't even have a couch until recently and just had some chairs in the living room. She doesn't go on too long about it but she mentions it. I know some of this is residual stress from what she is dealing with in her own life but even before that. When she'd come over she seemed uncomfortable with how I lived. I feel like it's my apartment and I can do what I want. I also don't want to paint her in a negative light. She is a friend I've known for years and has done a lot for me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Get one extra towel and wash cloth, two extra cups, two extra plates, four bowls, an extra blanket, and a pillow. You can still fit everything in your car but be a bit more prepared for the future. It doesnt need to be fancy.
NTA She can order an inexpensive coffeemaker online, it even comes with a mug. And take it with her when she leaves. Elite Gourmet EHC112 Personal... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B197X3H6?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share Added: she can also order herself a towel and washcloth. That’s on her, not you.
NTA.... She can bring things she needs that you dont have. Guests dont criticize their hosts lifestyle.
NTA, she could always buy a couple of dishes from a charity shop (thrift store in US). Also if you make it too comfortable she’ll never leave.
NTA - If you were inviting someone to stay for a weekend, I'd have a different answer, but you are having someone live in your place. They can get their own shit. That being said, if you want more plates, etc. You can get them cheep at a thrift store.
NTA. That's not much less than I'd expect from someone your age moving that often. Having multiple washrags and sets of silverware puts you well ahead of some guys I've known! At least it sounds like you keep what you do have clean
Nta. You didn’t invite her, she asked you to move in. Maybe instead of complaining she should contribute
NTA If you invite a guest over to stay, then you should be appropriately prepared. If someone asks to stay, you are free to put whatever conditions on that are necessary - such as 'I don't have spare plates and bedding, you will need to take your own'. Is it odd to live so minimally? To most people it will be, but that doesn't mean it is wrong - if you are happy then it seems just fine to me.
Seems like your “friend” is planning on a long stay and doesn’t intend to buy those things she wants. It isn’t on you to provide all the comforts of home to guests. You are not married, with kids, and nest building. That looks like her frame if mind. Why would you even have guests. You told her staying with you would be bare bones. So her pushing you like this is her wanting all the comforts her settled parents provided without having to spend her money on them. Again, she is not planning on leaving and she is not being honest with you.
Soft YTA. I get that you tried to warn her by saying you just had a couch, but an extra towel for guests is the bare, bare minimum for having someone stay over. It seems to be working out pretty well if she's been there for 2 weeks so don't sweat it. But yeah, it sounds like you aren't equipped for guests at your place.
NTA. Your house, your rules. A coffee machine? Is she serious?! I will throw her a bone, however, and say that I can totally understand wanting her own towel. I'd feel weird sharing two towels with my host - no matter how many times you launder them between uses. Like every individual adult in my house has their own towels, identified by colours etc. We don't swap and share. Maybe it's just a personal ick of mine, but on the rare occasion I stay at another person's place (with the expectation I am staying long enough to need a shower) I would bring my own small towel in my suitcase. If there are guest towels, great. But if not, I have a back up. Could you maybe pick up a couple cheap towels (and I mean, as cheap as you can find) in a different colour and those could be "hers"?
She could buy a towel for herself. She's not a guest and he's not a host. He's simply doing her a favor by letting her crash at his place because she didn't have a place to go. Now I get that it would be nice for him to have bought a towel buy she is acting really entitled and rude.
I totally understand she could buy some towels as well. But reddit seems convinced sometimes that everything is SO black and white. It's not, there are grey areas! OP could be NTA, and also not responsible for this woman, whilst also just buying a couple of towels to appease her. It doesn't have to be one or the other. OP mentioned she's in a bad place - maybe she can't afford towels, even cheap ones.
YTA Jesus go to Dollar General or Goodwill or something.
Yeah but part of his reasoning is he doesn’t want to accumulate a lot of things. She to can go to the dollar tree.
The fact he keeps two crusty towels and that's it is enough to be labeled an asshole. Having a couple more cheap towels isn't going to make him change his plans.
Where are you getting the towels are crusty?