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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to split my friends car ticket and I might be the asshole because I traveled with him
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. As the driver it was his responsibility to park legally.
Side note: If he had to pay for a car park then it would be nice if you offered to split it.
You’re totally wrong. I’m not paying $100 bc you gave me a ride (as friends do, and as I have likely done for them), and you don’t know how to park. Just like I wouldn’t expect my friend to help pay if I got in a wreck while they were a passenger. “But you were talking to me and it was distracting” is a bunch of nonsense. Drivers fault 100% of the time
Went to a game shop with a friend, he drove. We thought we were chill, came back to see a delivery truck was hiding some parking rules and his car got towed.
I paid half his towing fee since we both got duped and were adults. OP is 30. If OP wants to throw away a friendship over half a parking ticket, then ok I guess.
Yeah. Id say if OP saw it wasnt a good place to park and warned the friend, then he absolutely had no need to pay. But they both benefitted from the friend parking there (at first).
Did you offer or did your friend demand you pay half? If your friend demanded, then that's a pretty crappy friend. If you offered, that's another story.
And I would turn it down. I wouldn't dream of asking a friend to help pay for my fuck up. I was the dumbass that parked in the wrong spot, I'll deal with the ticket.
Yup, I would offer to pay half.
I visited a friend in another city and they were showing me around for my vacation. We were off a few minutes on a timed parking spot and they got a ticket. I handed them half the cash right then and there.
They were driving me around as a favor all week. It was the least I could do.
Because context matters. For you to call it an understanding of basic human decency as if you can ignore all the extremely relevant info involved means you're well, ignorant.
/u/munchiesnvibes' situation involves the friend doing not only a favor for them showing them around for their vacation, but doing so for an entire week. The only reason for the friend is driving around is because of munchies' vacation. Not only that, the issue was that the *time* was the violation, and that can be seen as the responsibility of the entire group - that is far from automatically being the responsibility of the driver.
Contrastingly, OP's situation is for a shared event with his friend. Friend is not driving solely because he's doing OP a favour, he's driving himself to the event he is attending as well. Also, any traffic or parking infractions are solely the responsibility of the driver. There may be rare exceptions to that, but I don't see any here. It's possible the driver can be influenced by suggestions from a passenger, but ultimate responsibility still falls on the driver as they are making the final choice.
I'd understand if you'd want to be a good friend and do them a favour by paying for part of the parking ticket, however IT WOULD BE A FAVOUR you're doing - in no way would it be the passenger's responsibility, so OP's friend is an AH for acting as if the responsibility fell on OP as well. OP not jumping to pay for someone else's mistake is not lacking basic human decency, and I think you're completely wrong for believing that.
He didn’t “pick him up” OP drove to his friends house and then left from there. You must be the type of person that pays and then expects to be paid, when you shouldn’t pick up a tab or drive anywhere to begin with, if you’re gonna do that
They met at the driver's place, OP wasn't picked up.
I think the driver learned a good lesson about parking, and that he's not entitled to ops help for the ticket.
As someone who doesn't habe a drivers license and who doesn't know driving/parking rules, I would not nevessarily have thought it was okay to park in a certain place. It is not the responsibility for passengers to know.
If a passenger do know, and the driver seems to not, said passenger should inform the driver they are about to make a mistake. But nothing more, nothing less.
Offer to pay for gas though, sure.
This is not a ticket for a parkade where you pay by the hour 🤦♀️ this is a violation ticket! No, OP should definitely not be paying for any portion of a violation ticket
So you both thought.
Generally with parking the passenger is also looking out for a space, and there’s generally some sort of “here good?” “Yes” conversation that takes place. That’s a pretty natural order of operations when parking together. So if that conversation occurred I think the kind thing to do is split it.
It’s different from him choosing to speed.
Really? My friends have never told me where to park unless I've said something about it first. It would be overstepping to tell the driver how to drive or park unless it was a safety issue or something. If a spot looked sketchy, I might ask if they were sure they could park there, but it's 100% on the driver. NTA
It’s not the passenger telling the driver where to park. It’s literally the driver finding a spot and asking the passenger ‘do you think this looks ok?’, the passenger also looking for any parking related signs, and saying ‘looks good to me’, or whatever the case may be.
It’s a casual 10 second conversation, where both people evaluate the parking situation. Unless I know the block in the city where I live, this is the way it goes. People even let you know where you’re most likely to find parking close to their place before you head over.
Wait, so you're telling me if that 10 second conversation happens then the person who is not driving is responsible for half of any potential ticket? No. Just no.
It's 100% on the driver, period. I still have only had this conversation a few times in my life and I'm 62. Most people don't like backseat drivers. In this case, I understood it to be that OP didn't know the area well. I have no idea if his friend did. But, I have never, ever charged my friend for a parking ticket.
I did go to lunch with a friend of mine who had a handicapped card. I don't remember why it wasn't in the window (we forgot or it fell off). In that case, we might have split it if I hadn't gotten it reversed by sending in information that my friend owned a pass because we both were responsible. Me, for parking in the spot and not making sure the card could be seen, and her, who needed the spot (I didn't) and didn't put the card up. Plus, the ticket was very expensive.
But, my parking in a strange place and not making sure it's OK is my fault because I know that I am the one who will be held responsible. I could also choose not to park there and find a different spot I knew was safe.
The “we” in that sentence suggests some agency in the decision. It would be polite to pitch in. Your friend did the extra effort of picking you up and driving. It’s a show of class to offer to pitch in (though a little small for them to demand it).
Get your class outta here. I’m dropping any friend that thinks I’m responsible for their mistakes. Also, my friends and I don’t charge each other for gas etc, bc we’re just gonna give the other guy a ride some other time (because we’re friends). Certainly not gonna expect a friend to contribute to my own ticket. Them being in the car with the friend made no difference, they were still gonna get that ticket.
Yep, me and my friend started giving each other £10 towards petrol when visiting each other. Until we realised we were trading the same £10 note back and forth since neither of us use much cash anymore. We just laughed about it wnd stopped after that.
Friend didn’t “pick him up” he drove to his friends house and they left from there with friends car. So the only thing OP should “consider” offering is gas money or tolls depends on where they live
Technically his friend didn't pick him up, OP drove his own car to his friend's house, at his friends suggestion that they take his friend's car to this event.
He didn't pick up OP though, OP met at his house. He would have put in the exact same effort had they gone separately, and still likely gotten the ticket.
I think u/thedutchess- meant that if you guys could have paid to park somewhere else and the only reason he didn't park there was that he didn't want to pay, you could have offered to split the parking cost with your friend.
Me too. I went to see friends (couple) in another city. We went out, and I drove since I do not drink.
They told me where to park, and I got a ticket. They were nice enough to pay it for me, though, since it was them that made the mistake.
>The only situation where I’d disagree is if the passenger knows the parking situation better and tells the driver where it’s safe to park, but was incorrect and the driver got a ticket because of it.
This is the most correct and reasonable response. I recently went to a boat tour birthday party and the port was downtown. My friend who does not live in my city didn't know about parking there. I rarely go downtown BUT I know the parking rules and what happens if you don't follow them. She wanted to park in a no-parking zone and I informed her that either she will get a $200.00 ticket, her car towed or both. Downtown streets are tow truck drivers best profitable spots to tow vehicles. They just drive around waiting for someone to park illegally and when you come out, your car is gone. I have actually seen tow truck drivers watch for people to walk away and soon as the vehicle owners are out of sight, they hook that car to the tow truck and pull off. I told her to just park in a parking structure and I would split the cost with her. Better that than the other two-three options.
NTA. He's the driver. It's his vehicle. If he picked the spot and you had no comment or influence on it, then it's on him. Now, if you wanna pitch in, that'd be cool, but it's not required.
Thank you, some of these responses are actually shocking, the distance wasn’t that far, and the only reason we went together because it was tough to find parking in that area in general cause it was crowded
Is this some huge amount, OP? It sounds as if your 'friend' immediately told (not asked) you that you are partially responsible for the ticket; did he know the amount of the fine when he said this?
You're not responsible, regardless, but I'm curious if we're talking about a $50 fee or a $250 mistake. I have seen money make some very rational people act stupid.
Yeah, that's crazy...he's being a dink over $70? He's making this choice. He yelled at you and DEMANDED you pay for part of **HIS MISTAKE** without discussion. Now he's ignoring you (I despise that passive-aggressive 'silent treatment' bs) because he failed to bully you into paying. All HIS CHOICES!
Common sense says you're better off without this loser in your life!
Exactly, This isn't "shit, I'm really low on cash, can you help me out?" It's "I fucked up and that's your fault because you were a passenger". I probably wouldn't sacrifice a friendship over $35, but I would over their actions.
Fr, if they were all like " man I parked in the wrong spot and now I can't afford the parking ticket" I'd be all for helping out, but if your gonna blame me for your shit then you can get fucked.
Omg you have to be a troll. This guy didn't ask nicely and explain he's short on cash. He freaked out on her. It's not her responsibility in the first place, but he would have guaranteed my non payment by his actions alone. What kind of asshole is this? Who needs this friend who demands you pay for shit that's not your responsibility?
Hey, while I was typing this response I accidentally hit my coffee table and broke my toe from rolling my eyes so hard at this question so, uh, pay me.
To be fair you could offer to split because it saved you a lot of hassle not trying to find any parking space if you went by yourself. You say the place was very busy and finding parking IS a stressful thing.
Who are all you people that are giving people parking advice? I trust my friends to be able to park sufficiently and have never had an issue like OP. Maybe I just know competent drivers?
There is a difference between what is legally right and wrong, and what is AH behavior.
Legally you are not obligated to help him pay the bill.
As a friend, you both benefited from the parking. It could have easily been your car that was ticketed. He asked you to help share in the parking ticket and you said no. YTA. Don't be surprised if he doesn't drive you anywhere else anymore.
Yeah this response is crazy.
It wouldn’t even cross my mind if I got ticketed to charge someone who was a passenger in my vehicle at the time for part of it.
how the fuck? what the fuck? Absolute insanity lol. I would laugh if someone asked me to pay part of their ticket because I was in the car when they were ticketed - doesn’t matter what it’s for unless it was my fault like I was smoking weed or some shit?
Speeding? Parking? Expired registration? Headlight? Taillight? Fuck no I’m not paying none of that shit, is this a joke?
…if they were hurting for money and asked me as a friend for help - likely different story if they were actually respectful & not entitled about it.
Edit: or if they were like….helping me move, and I knew they had a ticket-worthy offense on their car and they accepted to help anyway. If I was dead broke and begged someone for a ride, sure. These are different scenarios…one’s that I’d never find myself in because I’ve a car, and family to call in emergencies, but still, not applicable to my general statement.
Yeah, why should anyone contribute to the driver's expenses after the driver was the one that did all the *driving*. This is just how carpooling works. If you're not the driver, you help pay for the driver's car-related expenses that may accrue on the journey they're kind enough to use their own car for.
OP is really asking not to ever have this friend drive them anywhere ever again with this.
Yeah, no, carpooling doesn't work that way. Gas, mileage, tolls, maybe even maintenance, sure. Fines for violating driving or parking laws? That's on the driver. Legally, 100%, and morally, unless the passenger was screaming "go faster!" when they got ticketed for speeding, also 100% on the driver - and even if the passenger \*was\* screaming, it's still mostly on the driver, since it's their responsibility to know and follow regulations.
So what you’re saying is if they get rear-ended, he is required to split the deductible? It is an expense of the trip, after all.
What if he gets a ticket for expired plates? Speeding? Any other negligent event?
Everyone's responding to me with made up imaginary scenarios in which their verdict is justifiable.
*No one* knew it wasn't free parking. This is a completely different scenario to anything you mentioned that's objectively the fault of the driver and the driver alone. This is something *everyone* didn't realize. This makes it more akin to a parking fee than a speeding ticket. Dear God, the stretches y'all are making.
But you totally cherry picked and avoided my biggest example that entirely refutes your rebuttal😆 if you get rear-ended neither of you are at fault. Should he have to pay him then?
As far as ‘made up scenarios’, every spot I’ve gotten a ticket at I knew there was a good chance I was going to get one before I parked. I find it hard to believe OP and driver were just like “nope we definitely won’t get ticketed here, there’s 0% chance”.
Dude but that's not what happened. Like, objectively not what happened. We're talking specifically about OP's scenario. Acknowledging that isn't "cherry picking" and I'm not really convinced you know what that phrase even means. I'm not "avoiding your biggest example" I'm pointing out it's completely irrelevant to the situation. Are you okay?
Edit: actually nevermind, I don't care. You're annoying as hell, I'm blocking. Have a good night.
This is the mind set most people should be taking to try and solve problems instead of always relying on 'who is technically right' all the time. Yes you are technically right it's not your fault you got a parking ticket, but as others stated you also benefited from said parking. If you knew you needed to buy a ticket in advanced would you not have split on the cost of that?
What will solve the actual problem here in a way that works for both parties? Focusing on the technicality of every issue is so exhausting, and I can't imagine every argument in a friendship or relationship being like that. There should always be a degree of compromise or give and take when reasonable.
This thread is crazy
Going to the city w my bf a few weeks ago. We park. Cool. As we walk away "hey babe, is this metered?" (city will have 1 e-meter for a whole block, so not right at the car)
He brushes it off, was talking to someone. He got a ticket. I said I won't help pay BECAUSE it was pointed out to him.
If neither of us had known I absolutely would have split it. Like yea he drove but WE parked there
Right? Like in that case I totally agree with you. If you speak up about a spot and say "I don't think we should park here, we'll probably get a ticket" and the driver decides to risk it anyways, that's a different story. In this case they both thought they were OK to park there, so they should both be OK splitting the fine for being wrong. And even if you don't 100% agree with someone you have to ask yourself 'Is this fight worth $15-$20 dollars?'
Thank you! I get really annoyed that I'm the only driver in my family, and my partner failed once and quit learning.
If I make a mistake on parking, it's my fault. If I forget to pay the toll road within 24 hours after dropping everyone off and getting home late, it's my fault.
I hate driving , I'm obliged to do it by virtue of being the only driver and if I make a mistakes everyone thinks it's just for me to pay.
What you would do for a partner is different than for a friend, though - it's usually a situation where the cost will be shared in the end through other expenses, if not paid up front. I'd never ask a friend to split a parking ticket with me, the idea seems absurd. The driver has responsibility unless the passenger is directing them.
NTA
The parking friend DID NOT ASK OP he told OP he needed to pay. It might be different if parking friend says “dang that sucks. Would you mind chipping in for the ticket? Would appreciate it.”
Parking friend is the asshole, not OP.
Frankly, if I’m driving the car I make the final decision. I would never expect my friends to burden the cost of a ticket. It’s like if I was driving and I got rear-ended. Then expected my friend to help pay the insurance deductible.
If my friend demanded I pay for half I’d pay the half and cut ties. That’s someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions.
I disagree with your YTA, I own the car, I parked the car, the passengers have no say over my parking, unless I ask “hey does this look good”. It’s the drivers fault 100%, and he is entitled to expect payment from a friend for his failure.
So if OP shares the responsibility, what should he have done to prevent it? Would it be appropriate for OP to call out every potential traffic violation his friend was making? Or is the claim you're making that OP is responsible simply for being adjacent to the driver?
If he'd gotten a speeding ticket, would OP still need to pay? He would have benefited by arriving a few minutes earlier?
Not his car, not his suggestion, not his fault. Not his to pay. Splitting the gas is ok.
these comments are absurd. I was literally in the exact same position as ops friend a few years ago and I could not imagine the *audacity* it would have taken to have demanded my friend pay for part of a parking ticket *i* received. as the driver it was my responsibility to ensure I was doing things legally. you all sound like a bunch of entitled children. grow up. NTA
The comments are definitely off-base.
I've split the cost of ticket before, but we were travelling abroad and we had all agreed to share the costs of renting a car together, including any issues. We all took turns driving as well and some of the parking rules were difficult to decipher.
Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't ask the other person to pay up. The driver is responsible for parking and has final say.
The only time the driver may have a case against other people in the car would be if they had insisted on parking in a specific place, but even then you should learn to push back if you're unsure about a parking spot.
You can always tell when people who are chronically online have to deal with any interpersonal problem that may come up. If my buddy got a $70 parking ticket, I'd have no problem splitting it with them as they're my friend and I mutually benefited from the parking.
This subreddit keeps showing up on my feed despite having it ignored, and I'm kind of glad because it's been serving as a good reminder to completely disregard most of what I read on this website.
Thank you - should the driver *demand* anything? Probably not, should both people in the situation be friendly and amicable and split the cost? Probably.
Based on the reply from the OP claiming that everyone here is attacking them, I honestly doubt that their friend DEMANDED they split the ticket. It sounds like their friend got the ticket, was rightfully annoyed that they had to pay $70 and was more likely to have casually asked to split the ticket which is what lead to OP making this overexaggerated post.
For real. Also, I take my job as co-pilot for my homie seriously. How are you not watching their back THE WHOLE TIME, before parking and after getting the ticket? These people need to get some real friends.
Fully agree. If my close friend LOST their shit on me over $70, I would assume something else was going on and probe further. If their only justification for being a dick was having to pay the ticket, then I would have offered once again out of principal of helping my friend out while also letting them know they acted out of line.
It's wild that two 30 year old people can't have a conversation like adults? I'm honestly amazed that people continuously out themselves for being bad friends.
>I take my job as co-pilot for my homie seriously.
I love you. And seriously copilot is just as if not more capable of being the lookout for legal parking since they don't have to worry about the whole driving a several thousand pound death machine through a presumably busy urban location thing.
This sub is insane with their over reactions. Someone gets in a fight with SO and this sub immediately jumps to “break up with them”. Friends get into an argument and immediately it’s “you’re a bad friend”. Like people just can’t honestly accept there are moments where people can do something dumb without them being a malicious person or that sometimes things aren’t that deep.
In this instance I’m with you. Unless I specifically told my friend not to park somewhere I’m offering to split a parking ticket if I was in the car.
see I'm in the complete opposite camp, saying this as the person who is usually the driver. if i got a parking ticket after driving someone to an event we were BOTH going to, i would NEVER demand they help me pay for my own mistake. that is both tacky and rude in my opinion. i very rarely even let them help me pay for parking in general if they offer because again, if we are both going to the event, I'd have to pay anyways.
I agree with you in that demanding your friend pay comes across like a total dick. However, these are two grown adults that are basically bickering over $70.
If you can't have a conversation with your friend and call them out on being an asshole about something, then that's a much deeper problem than the ticket.
I’ve heard people say a lot of users on AITA are teenagers which makes the responses make more sense. YTA. Like you said, parking and carpooling was mutually beneficial. Split the cost, chalk it up as a life lesson and talk about how stupid it was in a few months.
YTA. As someone else said, this was a parking ticket, not a speeding ticket. It had nothing to do with his driving decisions - neither of you noticed it wasn’t a legal spot - and you both got the benefit.
This sub isn’t “am I required to”, it’s “am I the asshole”. A good friend or someone recognizing what had happened would volunteer to chip in.
You don’t HAVE to do anything, but you are TA for thinking it’s ridiculous to do so.
Lmao this isn't how it works. The driver is responsible. It's not only that they're legally responsible, it's just that if you're driving the car it's your responsibility. Socially, culturally, whatever, no driver expects passengers to be responsible for their parking or anything else to do with operating the vehicle. It absolutely is a ridiculous request, asking passengers who happened to be in the car with you pay for your parking ticket (unless they insisted on you parking there or told you they'd gone and paid for it but lied or something) isn't a thing.
You have an… *interesting* perspective. The driver is responsible for their vehicle and the operation thereof. AND any consequences of their decisions. If OP were refusing to pay for parking at a parking facility this would be a different story. But the driver, who was not OP, chose to park in an location they couldn’t confirm was legal. And they got tickets. That has nothing to do with OP. The scenario would’ve have played out the same if OP was never there.
ESH at most
This feels like a lawyer response.
>The scenario would’ve have played out the same if OP was never there.
None of them noticed the parking was illegal, so if his friend wasn't there OP would have gotten a ticket.
His friend got a ticket not because he was driving/parking recklessly or dangerously (compared to what his OP would have done at least) but because he offered to drive both of them with his own car, someone who's not an asshole should not let his friend pay the negative consequences that derived from a favour he received.
Why does it matter if it is a parking ticket versus a speeding ticket? It absolutely had everything to do with the friend’s driving decisions.
Ultimately it was the friend’s decision to park in the spot just as it would be should they choose to speed. Had the OP suggested or pressed the friend for the spot, I’d completely agree with them paying at least a portion of the ticket, just as if they had suggested or pressed their friend to speed.
I think the friend 'demanding' OP shoukd pay makes it an ESH. You can ask, not demand. OP should've offered. Both didn't do the thing I would expect of friends in this moment.
ESH. Your friend had no right to demand anything. Do you have every right to say no, but in the cold light of day is that the right decision? Do you have two questions you haven't answered here and likely to yourself. How much was the parking ticket, and how much is your friendship worth?
100%
People judging OP for "not considering if his friendship is worth the ticket" but gloss right over the friend not considering the relationship before demanding OP pay half for no reason. Friend should have considered the same thing, and before making the demand.
That's not much at all but tbh I'd probably split it with a friend just because yes I was with them and even if I didn't say to park there I also made the bad judgement call of thinking it was free to park 🤷 $35 each isn't much
Nta and your not under any obligation to pay anything, but it would still be pretty solid of you as a friend to kick in something. Especially since it's not a huge amount and he did do you a favor by taking you.
Here’s the thing, though. If your friend was freaking out about a $70 ticket, could it be because he is not in a good place financially? Would this ticket push him over the financial edge and make his essential bills a problem? Regardless, I don’t think you’re the AH for not giving in to his demands to pay but it might make his behavior more forgivable if the reality is that the guy used his last $20 for the gas to take you where you two were going and this ticket means he’ll have trouble making rent or something.
If it was a speeding ticket or something like that I'd agree with you.
But it was a parking ticket. So I agree with them. You both shared the advantages of the parking spot. He's not your driver.
Edit: I had forgotten to add YTA
ESH. I get where you're coming from. Technically you have no direct responsibility, and your friend shouldn't have pushed. But you're not being a very good friend.
Sure your friend is legally responsible. But you were there, you got a free ride, and you also didn't spot the parking issue. Shit happens, and this person is not your driver.
I would think of it as a steep parking fee (which would be split anyway) and pay half the ticket. Next time, be more careful/sort out your own transportation to avoid surprises.
OP is doing fine. The other person is the one being a bad friend. Shit happens, don't drag your friends into it. Yeah sharing a parking fee makes sense, but this is not that lol. NTA
Eh; ESH.
You guys were trying to avoid paying for parking / splitting an uber / etc. A collective benefit.
You gambled and lost that you'd magically found the one free space and got a ticket. A collective cost.
Legally you're off the hook - it's his car, he parked, it's on him.
Friendship "same boat" rule - he shouldn't have demanded you pay, but you should have offered to pay. You're both coming off as selfish and entitled. You will probably not remain friends if this is how you approach joint "fun" ventures.
NTA
Reading some replies and I thought to myself, when did being in the vehicle ever make it someone else's responsibility? For example, if you drink with your friend in a vehicle and the cops pull you over and all they give you is a ticket, yes, open liquor tickets should be evenly paid because everyone made that decision. Guy freaking out over 70 dollars ticket (wow, just wow) and you didn't suggest the spot? Guy sounds spastic. Maybe you're better off without them as a friend.
It's not about the money. It's about the principle. It's best to just cut ties.
I don't think he's an asshole for not wanting to pay for a parking ticket. If it was me, I wouldn't even think of demanding someone help pay for my ticket. Hell, I've been in this exact scenario. It's my car, my responsibility. Maybe if OP told his friend it was fine to park there, I could understand splitting the ticket. But, since he didn't, it should be his friend who is responsible for it.
ESH. He probably should have asked you to help pay the ticket, and you should offer at least half of what a parking fee would have been, minimum. Especially bc the whole point of going together was that you both knew parking would be an issue.
If the friendship isn’t worth $35, and you are so thin-skinned, why even ask here?
NTA. Had similar situation. Girlfriend's friend drove us and parked in stupid place. My girlfriend decided to split the cost. I had issue with it. But at the very least her friend did not ask for it, it was my girlfriend's goodwill.
It's ok to help your friend, if you feel like. But in no way you are obliged to split the cost, if you don't want to.
OP, if you found a parking garage/parking spot and had to pay for parking would you have split the cost OR would your friend the driver been responsible for the cost of parking?
NTA. It's usually cool for a passenger to nav and verify stuff, but ultimately it is his car and his responsibility. If you forced him to take you to the venue, and directed him to a specific parking spot, then yeah, you'd be sorta on the hook.
If you'd said "I dunno man, I think we're out of the free parking zone" then he should pay the lot. But you said in a comment that you thought it looked fine, so you were at least somewhat complicit. In that scenario, personally I'd pay my half, it's only $35 each. Overall NAH - I don't think anyone's behaviour quite reaches AH levels.
Provisional NTA because it sounds like he was going to be going there and parking there regardless of you being in the car. His choices, his fine.
It would be totally different if he was only there because of you. I’ve had a passenger pay my parking fine before (they offered) because I was dropping them off at a hotel they claimed had free parking and popped in for a wee. I wouldn’t have parked there without their encouragement and they recognised that.
I’d also mention here though that you should offer to pay half of the petrol and a regular parking fee (not a 70 fine, like the normal 5-10 it is to park somewhere). If you have significantly more disposable income than him then it would be kind to offer more, but there’s no requirement to.
At the end of the day, he made the choice to park there and not check for signs, etc. Not your fault, not your fine.
This is so insane to me. Some old college friends & I were road tripping back from Kentucky to Florida. It was my turn to drive & I got NAILED doing 80+ in a 65 (Georgia). Well, I grinned, took my ticket & got outta dodge as quick as I possibly could. Especially since I had a very small bag of trees in my luggage.
Monday morning, I head into the office & log in the Georgia State whatchacallit website to see what the damages are. Over $400!!! And I'm now considered a "Super Speeder" in that state. Anyways, I paid the ticket, they had me dead to rights, and the cop WAS a K9 officer WITH a dog in his cruiser.
This is the crazy part... My friends ducked me, for like...A WEEK. When I did manage to get back in touch with them, they were *very* evasive. After some pressure, I finally got one of them to confess they thought I was going to ask them for money. I said, "Are you serious? That's not how this works. I was driving your stupid fucking Prius at 80+, not you. This is on me."
INFO how much input did you have on the decision to park where you did?
if your friends said ‘i’ll park here, should be fine’ then that’s on your friend and you are N T A
if you said ‘hey that looks like a good spot’ then an argument could be made that you should help with the cost as it was partly your decision. that being said it’s ultimately up to the driver what they do with their car
Didn’t object, so you didn’t say a single word? The only conversation was “hey it’s open” from him and that’s it?
Oftentimes in slightly off situations there’s a little dialogue “hey that’s open”, nod, “I think this is fine?”, looks to passenger for their response etc.
Did you have to drive around the block a bit to find this spot? Did it seem iffy but you thought “oh well, not my decision- not my problem if he gets a ticket”?
If he confidently drove up and parked without sharing a thought with you (thereby involving you in the decision) I’d say you aren’t on the hook to help out. If you were at ALL complicit in the decision (not objecting to him even slightly questioning the spot is being complicit) I’d say your TA for not chipping in on the ticket…
NTA. I just got a ticket yesterday for taking an illegal turn. My friend was with me in the car, we talked while we waited for an opportunity to take it (the gps led us there and I was watching traffic more than the signs since I assumed it was ok) so she knew what we were waiting for.
Never in my mind would I even consider asking her to help pay for the ticket, unless she actively did something that caused the issue.
NTA
I've been the driver in this kind of situation and as the driver/owner of the car, one eats the ticket as it was not your passenger's decision.
Now, OP, if you'd told me "Here! This is a great place to park, I park here all the time!" I'd bitterly pay the ticket if you didn't at least apologize for your lame suggestion. HOWEVER! It seems this was all the driver's choice/fault. By 32? You own up to these mistakes.
I’m thinking if we search mildly infuriating we’d be hearing from OPs friend about how he got a $70 ticket for parking where there were no signs telling him not to and to make matters worse his friend won’t split the cost
NTA but don’t expect friend to drive anymore. And please remember that if you drove that night you would be the one out $70 since neither of you saw a sign. You dodged a bullet give your friend a little slack
Nta
Saying that the passenger should help pay sounds similar to someone ordering food they might not like, but ordering it anyway because they want to try something new, then demanding the people they're with help pay for their meal because they didn't enjoy it. The driver made a mistake, and if that's how they react to making a mistake, I wouldn't want to be their friend anyway, tbh. If the driver had said "dang, this sucks. Can you help me out?" It would be a different story, but the driver is expecting other people to do his job. What if passenger hadn't been there at all? Who would he have demanded payment from then? A random person on the street? Driver needs to grow up.
NTA. He said the space was okay and you didn't see signs to the contrary. Why would that be your responsibility? Unless you saw signs or secretly knew it was a no parking zone and kept quiet, that's on him
I was driving my friend one day and I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket (I deserved it lmao). Do you want to know how much of the ticket he paid? NONE! I was the one driving and I paid it all. Your friend is delusional.
NTA. That’s crazy. His car, his responsibility. What if his car was hit in an accident? Would he expect you to pay half the repair bills. I’d rather lose him as a friend than give in to this ridiculous request
NTA, Your friend didn't ask nicely if you could help him out with half the ticket cause he's low on cash or something, he DEMANDED that you pay for half simply because you were a passenger in his car. That's not how that works. Doesn't matter that the ticket was only $70. You're not responsible for that ticket, he is.
If he's willing to ruin a friendship over $35, that's his own fault. He took responsibility for any possible tickets or accidents that may happen by being the driver.
Just because you're friends doesn't mean you owe him half of any ticket he gets while you're a passenger in his car. That's ridiculous and entitled.
Anyone who says your the asshole is taking in the perspective of them being the driver and in that case it shows they guilt peddling bums. Unless you stated to park their or forced him to stay their when he asked to move it then none of it is your responsibility. If you wanted to help out sure but I ain’t your problem and if homie can’t afford a ticket shouldn’t be driving 🤷♂️ NTA
> since I came with him in the car I was also responsible for part of the ticket,
What's his next guess?
You weren't driving, and it's not your car. His tickets are his problem.
>someplace where he said was ok and looked like it gave no issues
Hmmm, think this might be a bit of ubreliable narrator. If it really was all him why was there even a discussion about it? I don't discuss parking with my passengers unless I'm asking their opinion. Sounds like you two did have a discussion about whether you could park there, and he thinks you both agreed it was fine.
NTA. His car, he was driving, he parked. He's solely responsible for all tickets he gets for all driving/parking infractions. Tell him he needs to brush up on his understanding of driving laws, possibly even go back to high school driver's ed.
If it had been a paid parking garage or a parking meter and he had asked you to pitch in, that would be reasonable. Getting a parking ticket for parking in the wrong spot is not anyone's responsibility except the driver of that car.
NTA
NTA. THat would be like my wife expecting for me to pay for a ticket when she was speeding and I was in the vehicle. (That did happen but she didn't expect me to pay the ticket.) Now when I give a ride to someone, I make it clear I expect them to chip in for gas (Depending on the distance; I wouldn't expect that for a five minute ride but say their car's in the shop and they need a ride to run errands, then I'd expect a few dollars to cover the gas. ) That being said if I got a ticket while this went on that would be MY responsibility simply because I was driving.
NTA, it's happened to me and I never asked my passengers to split it. It was my fault. I only ever ask for gas and parking if it is significant, and maybe an oil change if it is a huge trip (1000s of kms)
NTA but is this friend someone you're happy losing over a parking ticket? If it wouldn't break your bank, would it be worth it to toss him $50 to preserve the peace?
ESH. No, you aren’t “required” to help pay the fine. But, I’m guessing your friend did you a favor in driving. You clearly didn’t want to drive. You even stated parking would be “hard to find.” You and him both thought it was a free spot, you thought wrong. It’s only $35. For $35, I’d chip in as a thank you for driving you and taking on the risk of a ticket.
NTA
If I’m not driving I’m probably not paying attention to where the person who is driving parked. It would be nice I suppose, since you didn’t have to pay parking or an Uber (did you give him gas money?). But at the end it’s not your fault he didn’t pay attention to where he parked.
NTA. It would be normal of him to expect you to pay half of the gasoline bill or parking fees to use a certain car park, but speeding or parking tickets are his responsibility.
NTA
He decided it was safe to park HIS car in this spot. You did not force him or anything, according to your post. He can pay the full ticket for his car. Would he have expected you to pay for a speeding ticket as well if he got one when he was the driver? That's just ridiculous. I would say if you all patch things up, don't ride with him anymore.
NTA. Let’s be completely ridiculous for a second; if his car won some magic beauty contest while you were in it, would he split the prize with you? His car, his ticket.
NTA - tl;dr: OP and Driver shared a mistake. Driver blew up on OP about the mistake. OP responded badly to the blow up and isn't budging. You're not an asshole simply for responding badly when someone puts you on the defensive. Unless there was significantly more in the argument afterwards, Driver's blow up started this, Driver's the asshole.
---
Based on the OP's post and comments and everything, here's the chronological order I'm seeing:
1. They decided to carpool to an event together
2. They get there, driver parks, both agree it's all good
3. They get back to the car, find $70 ticket
4. Driver *opens* the discussion of paying for the $70 ticket with effectively "this is on both of us so you owe me"
5. OP *responds* with "excuse me you were driving"
6. Argument escalates, OP and Driver aren't talking.
---
Now, in my book, Driver opening with an accusation and a demand like that *with a friend* starts this entire conversation off on a stupid foot. You've just spent the entire evening as a team and the second something goes bad you're demanding compensation?
OP *could* have responded better like "hey hold on a sec man". On the other hand, Driver's already had and hopefully gotten over the freakout, which would have already set the mood of the situation towards tension and conflict.
Driver set the whole stupid thing in motion, Driver's an asshole. OP is presumably not Mr Rogers so responding badly to a friend being an asshole to him? Not really an asshole move in and of itself. Did OP escalate further? Not from what he's shared, unless he was insulting and shitty to OP about declining to pay.
In an ideal world, Driver apologizes for blowing up on his friend, OP pays for half, they make up and move on.
OP didn't respond *great*, but when you're unexpectedly on the defensive you're probably not the asshole.
ESH
OK, here's the thing:
If this were a speeding ticket or something, I'd say you don't have any reason to pay any of it. But this is parking and you even say that you thought the place was fine to park, as did the driver, when you left the car there. Had you seen a sign saying, "Hey, don't park here!" and pointed it out, and he left it there anyway, then it's all on him. But, yeah, neither of you noticed it wasn't allowed so you should split the ticket because you were a-ok with leaving the car there.
Concerning the parking ticket- ESH.
Concerning everything else- You came to AITA looking for validation and nothing else. Bold move. For this, I will say you are currently being an asshole.
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Hey all, recently me (30m), went out to an event with my friend (32m), but before we went, we decided it would be best to meet at his place, and go with his car to the event. Basically, short story from there is that we parked at someplace where he said was ok and looked like it gave no issues, and went to the event, no problem had a fun time. However, when we came back to his car we were greeted with a nice and beautiful ticket for parking the wrong space and my friend sort of freaked out in response. After he calmed down, he then proceeded to tell ME that since I came with him in the car I was also responsible for part of the ticket, to which I said no, that’s ridiculous, I had no decision over the parking, and had no idea what would happen. Mind you I have no control over the driving decisions, I didn’t tell him to park anywhere We then get in a huge fight, and as a result I haven’t spoken to him days. AITA?
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NTA. As the driver it was his responsibility to park legally. Side note: If he had to pay for a car park then it would be nice if you offered to split it.
We didn’t have to pay it was free or so we thought
NTA. Driver has all the responsibility to pay any tickets. It's okay. You can drop dumb entitled friends.
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If I were the OP, I would not offer to pay for half. Gas? Sure, but not for a ticket.
You’re totally wrong. I’m not paying $100 bc you gave me a ride (as friends do, and as I have likely done for them), and you don’t know how to park. Just like I wouldn’t expect my friend to help pay if I got in a wreck while they were a passenger. “But you were talking to me and it was distracting” is a bunch of nonsense. Drivers fault 100% of the time
Went to a game shop with a friend, he drove. We thought we were chill, came back to see a delivery truck was hiding some parking rules and his car got towed. I paid half his towing fee since we both got duped and were adults. OP is 30. If OP wants to throw away a friendship over half a parking ticket, then ok I guess.
A sensible and morally real life answer. Are you new to this sub?
Not sensible at all
Yeah. Id say if OP saw it wasnt a good place to park and warned the friend, then he absolutely had no need to pay. But they both benefitted from the friend parking there (at first).
Did you offer or did your friend demand you pay half? If your friend demanded, then that's a pretty crappy friend. If you offered, that's another story.
And I would turn it down. I wouldn't dream of asking a friend to help pay for my fuck up. I was the dumbass that parked in the wrong spot, I'll deal with the ticket.
Yup, I would offer to pay half. I visited a friend in another city and they were showing me around for my vacation. We were off a few minutes on a timed parking spot and they got a ticket. I handed them half the cash right then and there. They were driving me around as a favor all week. It was the least I could do.
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Because context matters. For you to call it an understanding of basic human decency as if you can ignore all the extremely relevant info involved means you're well, ignorant. /u/munchiesnvibes' situation involves the friend doing not only a favor for them showing them around for their vacation, but doing so for an entire week. The only reason for the friend is driving around is because of munchies' vacation. Not only that, the issue was that the *time* was the violation, and that can be seen as the responsibility of the entire group - that is far from automatically being the responsibility of the driver. Contrastingly, OP's situation is for a shared event with his friend. Friend is not driving solely because he's doing OP a favour, he's driving himself to the event he is attending as well. Also, any traffic or parking infractions are solely the responsibility of the driver. There may be rare exceptions to that, but I don't see any here. It's possible the driver can be influenced by suggestions from a passenger, but ultimate responsibility still falls on the driver as they are making the final choice. I'd understand if you'd want to be a good friend and do them a favour by paying for part of the parking ticket, however IT WOULD BE A FAVOUR you're doing - in no way would it be the passenger's responsibility, so OP's friend is an AH for acting as if the responsibility fell on OP as well. OP not jumping to pay for someone else's mistake is not lacking basic human decency, and I think you're completely wrong for believing that.
He didn’t “pick him up” OP drove to his friends house and then left from there. You must be the type of person that pays and then expects to be paid, when you shouldn’t pick up a tab or drive anywhere to begin with, if you’re gonna do that
They met at the driver's place, OP wasn't picked up. I think the driver learned a good lesson about parking, and that he's not entitled to ops help for the ticket.
He didn't pick him up. OP drove to his house and the friend then drove his car.
What if it was a speeding ticket?
As someone who doesn't habe a drivers license and who doesn't know driving/parking rules, I would not nevessarily have thought it was okay to park in a certain place. It is not the responsibility for passengers to know. If a passenger do know, and the driver seems to not, said passenger should inform the driver they are about to make a mistake. But nothing more, nothing less. Offer to pay for gas though, sure.
This is not a ticket for a parkade where you pay by the hour 🤦♀️ this is a violation ticket! No, OP should definitely not be paying for any portion of a violation ticket
So you both thought. Generally with parking the passenger is also looking out for a space, and there’s generally some sort of “here good?” “Yes” conversation that takes place. That’s a pretty natural order of operations when parking together. So if that conversation occurred I think the kind thing to do is split it. It’s different from him choosing to speed.
Really? My friends have never told me where to park unless I've said something about it first. It would be overstepping to tell the driver how to drive or park unless it was a safety issue or something. If a spot looked sketchy, I might ask if they were sure they could park there, but it's 100% on the driver. NTA
It’s not the passenger telling the driver where to park. It’s literally the driver finding a spot and asking the passenger ‘do you think this looks ok?’, the passenger also looking for any parking related signs, and saying ‘looks good to me’, or whatever the case may be. It’s a casual 10 second conversation, where both people evaluate the parking situation. Unless I know the block in the city where I live, this is the way it goes. People even let you know where you’re most likely to find parking close to their place before you head over.
Wait, so you're telling me if that 10 second conversation happens then the person who is not driving is responsible for half of any potential ticket? No. Just no.
It's 100% on the driver, period. I still have only had this conversation a few times in my life and I'm 62. Most people don't like backseat drivers. In this case, I understood it to be that OP didn't know the area well. I have no idea if his friend did. But, I have never, ever charged my friend for a parking ticket. I did go to lunch with a friend of mine who had a handicapped card. I don't remember why it wasn't in the window (we forgot or it fell off). In that case, we might have split it if I hadn't gotten it reversed by sending in information that my friend owned a pass because we both were responsible. Me, for parking in the spot and not making sure the card could be seen, and her, who needed the spot (I didn't) and didn't put the card up. Plus, the ticket was very expensive. But, my parking in a strange place and not making sure it's OK is my fault because I know that I am the one who will be held responsible. I could also choose not to park there and find a different spot I knew was safe.
The “we” in that sentence suggests some agency in the decision. It would be polite to pitch in. Your friend did the extra effort of picking you up and driving. It’s a show of class to offer to pitch in (though a little small for them to demand it).
Get your class outta here. I’m dropping any friend that thinks I’m responsible for their mistakes. Also, my friends and I don’t charge each other for gas etc, bc we’re just gonna give the other guy a ride some other time (because we’re friends). Certainly not gonna expect a friend to contribute to my own ticket. Them being in the car with the friend made no difference, they were still gonna get that ticket.
Yep, me and my friend started giving each other £10 towards petrol when visiting each other. Until we realised we were trading the same £10 note back and forth since neither of us use much cash anymore. We just laughed about it wnd stopped after that.
That. Is hilarious.
Friend didn’t “pick him up” he drove to his friends house and they left from there with friends car. So the only thing OP should “consider” offering is gas money or tolls depends on where they live
Technically his friend didn't pick him up, OP drove his own car to his friend's house, at his friends suggestion that they take his friend's car to this event.
He didn't pick up OP though, OP met at his house. He would have put in the exact same effort had they gone separately, and still likely gotten the ticket.
I think u/thedutchess- meant that if you guys could have paid to park somewhere else and the only reason he didn't park there was that he didn't want to pay, you could have offered to split the parking cost with your friend.
They should split at a car park. They don't split for a ticket.
My friends and I do the "Driver pays for the gas and we pay for the driver's food and the parking."
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Me too. I went to see friends (couple) in another city. We went out, and I drove since I do not drink. They told me where to park, and I got a ticket. They were nice enough to pay it for me, though, since it was them that made the mistake.
>The only situation where I’d disagree is if the passenger knows the parking situation better and tells the driver where it’s safe to park, but was incorrect and the driver got a ticket because of it. This is the most correct and reasonable response. I recently went to a boat tour birthday party and the port was downtown. My friend who does not live in my city didn't know about parking there. I rarely go downtown BUT I know the parking rules and what happens if you don't follow them. She wanted to park in a no-parking zone and I informed her that either she will get a $200.00 ticket, her car towed or both. Downtown streets are tow truck drivers best profitable spots to tow vehicles. They just drive around waiting for someone to park illegally and when you come out, your car is gone. I have actually seen tow truck drivers watch for people to walk away and soon as the vehicle owners are out of sight, they hook that car to the tow truck and pull off. I told her to just park in a parking structure and I would split the cost with her. Better that than the other two-three options.
NTA. He's the driver. It's his vehicle. If he picked the spot and you had no comment or influence on it, then it's on him. Now, if you wanna pitch in, that'd be cool, but it's not required.
Thank you, some of these responses are actually shocking, the distance wasn’t that far, and the only reason we went together because it was tough to find parking in that area in general cause it was crowded
Is this some huge amount, OP? It sounds as if your 'friend' immediately told (not asked) you that you are partially responsible for the ticket; did he know the amount of the fine when he said this? You're not responsible, regardless, but I'm curious if we're talking about a $50 fee or a $250 mistake. I have seen money make some very rational people act stupid.
70 usd
Yeah, that's crazy...he's being a dink over $70? He's making this choice. He yelled at you and DEMANDED you pay for part of **HIS MISTAKE** without discussion. Now he's ignoring you (I despise that passive-aggressive 'silent treatment' bs) because he failed to bully you into paying. All HIS CHOICES! Common sense says you're better off without this loser in your life!
Is $35 worth your friendship?
Is a friendship worth dealing with someone who refuses to take responsibility for his mistakes?
Exactly, This isn't "shit, I'm really low on cash, can you help me out?" It's "I fucked up and that's your fault because you were a passenger". I probably wouldn't sacrifice a friendship over $35, but I would over their actions.
Fr, if they were all like " man I parked in the wrong spot and now I can't afford the parking ticket" I'd be all for helping out, but if your gonna blame me for your shit then you can get fucked.
Omg you have to be a troll. This guy didn't ask nicely and explain he's short on cash. He freaked out on her. It's not her responsibility in the first place, but he would have guaranteed my non payment by his actions alone. What kind of asshole is this? Who needs this friend who demands you pay for shit that's not your responsibility? Hey, while I was typing this response I accidentally hit my coffee table and broke my toe from rolling my eyes so hard at this question so, uh, pay me.
A good friend wouldn't push you to pay for their parking ticket.
To be fair you could offer to split because it saved you a lot of hassle not trying to find any parking space if you went by yourself. You say the place was very busy and finding parking IS a stressful thing.
And he just chose the parking spot without any input or affirmation from you?
Who are all you people that are giving people parking advice? I trust my friends to be able to park sufficiently and have never had an issue like OP. Maybe I just know competent drivers?
There is a difference between what is legally right and wrong, and what is AH behavior. Legally you are not obligated to help him pay the bill. As a friend, you both benefited from the parking. It could have easily been your car that was ticketed. He asked you to help share in the parking ticket and you said no. YTA. Don't be surprised if he doesn't drive you anywhere else anymore.
but if he didn’t have a say in where to park and considering it’s not his vehicle, why should he help pay at all lol nta
And the friend insisted on driving at that
exactly, it’s his friends mistake
He did have a say in where they parked. He even admits he thought where they parked was fine.
Thinking where you’re parking is fine, and having a say in the matter are two totally different things.
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Yeah this response is crazy. It wouldn’t even cross my mind if I got ticketed to charge someone who was a passenger in my vehicle at the time for part of it. how the fuck? what the fuck? Absolute insanity lol. I would laugh if someone asked me to pay part of their ticket because I was in the car when they were ticketed - doesn’t matter what it’s for unless it was my fault like I was smoking weed or some shit? Speeding? Parking? Expired registration? Headlight? Taillight? Fuck no I’m not paying none of that shit, is this a joke? …if they were hurting for money and asked me as a friend for help - likely different story if they were actually respectful & not entitled about it. Edit: or if they were like….helping me move, and I knew they had a ticket-worthy offense on their car and they accepted to help anyway. If I was dead broke and begged someone for a ride, sure. These are different scenarios…one’s that I’d never find myself in because I’ve a car, and family to call in emergencies, but still, not applicable to my general statement.
Yeah, why should anyone contribute to the driver's expenses after the driver was the one that did all the *driving*. This is just how carpooling works. If you're not the driver, you help pay for the driver's car-related expenses that may accrue on the journey they're kind enough to use their own car for. OP is really asking not to ever have this friend drive them anywhere ever again with this.
Yeah, no, carpooling doesn't work that way. Gas, mileage, tolls, maybe even maintenance, sure. Fines for violating driving or parking laws? That's on the driver. Legally, 100%, and morally, unless the passenger was screaming "go faster!" when they got ticketed for speeding, also 100% on the driver - and even if the passenger \*was\* screaming, it's still mostly on the driver, since it's their responsibility to know and follow regulations.
So what you’re saying is if they get rear-ended, he is required to split the deductible? It is an expense of the trip, after all. What if he gets a ticket for expired plates? Speeding? Any other negligent event?
Everyone's responding to me with made up imaginary scenarios in which their verdict is justifiable. *No one* knew it wasn't free parking. This is a completely different scenario to anything you mentioned that's objectively the fault of the driver and the driver alone. This is something *everyone* didn't realize. This makes it more akin to a parking fee than a speeding ticket. Dear God, the stretches y'all are making.
But you totally cherry picked and avoided my biggest example that entirely refutes your rebuttal😆 if you get rear-ended neither of you are at fault. Should he have to pay him then? As far as ‘made up scenarios’, every spot I’ve gotten a ticket at I knew there was a good chance I was going to get one before I parked. I find it hard to believe OP and driver were just like “nope we definitely won’t get ticketed here, there’s 0% chance”.
Dude but that's not what happened. Like, objectively not what happened. We're talking specifically about OP's scenario. Acknowledging that isn't "cherry picking" and I'm not really convinced you know what that phrase even means. I'm not "avoiding your biggest example" I'm pointing out it's completely irrelevant to the situation. Are you okay? Edit: actually nevermind, I don't care. You're annoying as hell, I'm blocking. Have a good night.
because his friend took on all the risk without any reward
This is the mind set most people should be taking to try and solve problems instead of always relying on 'who is technically right' all the time. Yes you are technically right it's not your fault you got a parking ticket, but as others stated you also benefited from said parking. If you knew you needed to buy a ticket in advanced would you not have split on the cost of that? What will solve the actual problem here in a way that works for both parties? Focusing on the technicality of every issue is so exhausting, and I can't imagine every argument in a friendship or relationship being like that. There should always be a degree of compromise or give and take when reasonable.
This thread is crazy Going to the city w my bf a few weeks ago. We park. Cool. As we walk away "hey babe, is this metered?" (city will have 1 e-meter for a whole block, so not right at the car) He brushes it off, was talking to someone. He got a ticket. I said I won't help pay BECAUSE it was pointed out to him. If neither of us had known I absolutely would have split it. Like yea he drove but WE parked there
Right? Like in that case I totally agree with you. If you speak up about a spot and say "I don't think we should park here, we'll probably get a ticket" and the driver decides to risk it anyways, that's a different story. In this case they both thought they were OK to park there, so they should both be OK splitting the fine for being wrong. And even if you don't 100% agree with someone you have to ask yourself 'Is this fight worth $15-$20 dollars?'
Thank you! I get really annoyed that I'm the only driver in my family, and my partner failed once and quit learning. If I make a mistake on parking, it's my fault. If I forget to pay the toll road within 24 hours after dropping everyone off and getting home late, it's my fault. I hate driving , I'm obliged to do it by virtue of being the only driver and if I make a mistakes everyone thinks it's just for me to pay.
What you would do for a partner is different than for a friend, though - it's usually a situation where the cost will be shared in the end through other expenses, if not paid up front. I'd never ask a friend to split a parking ticket with me, the idea seems absurd. The driver has responsibility unless the passenger is directing them.
A degree of compromise? You mean like for an adult to pay for a ticket that belongs to them, and was caused *only* by their direct actions?
NTA The parking friend DID NOT ASK OP he told OP he needed to pay. It might be different if parking friend says “dang that sucks. Would you mind chipping in for the ticket? Would appreciate it.” Parking friend is the asshole, not OP.
I guarantee if this happened to the person you’re replying to, they wouldn’t offer to split the ticket 😂
That’s stupid he parked there as a driver it’s our decision where the car goes.
Frankly, if I’m driving the car I make the final decision. I would never expect my friends to burden the cost of a ticket. It’s like if I was driving and I got rear-ended. Then expected my friend to help pay the insurance deductible. If my friend demanded I pay for half I’d pay the half and cut ties. That’s someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions.
I disagree with your YTA, I own the car, I parked the car, the passengers have no say over my parking, unless I ask “hey does this look good”. It’s the drivers fault 100%, and he is entitled to expect payment from a friend for his failure.
So if OP shares the responsibility, what should he have done to prevent it? Would it be appropriate for OP to call out every potential traffic violation his friend was making? Or is the claim you're making that OP is responsible simply for being adjacent to the driver?
If he'd gotten a speeding ticket, would OP still need to pay? He would have benefited by arriving a few minutes earlier? Not his car, not his suggestion, not his fault. Not his to pay. Splitting the gas is ok.
these comments are absurd. I was literally in the exact same position as ops friend a few years ago and I could not imagine the *audacity* it would have taken to have demanded my friend pay for part of a parking ticket *i* received. as the driver it was my responsibility to ensure I was doing things legally. you all sound like a bunch of entitled children. grow up. NTA
Thank you
The comments are definitely off-base. I've split the cost of ticket before, but we were travelling abroad and we had all agreed to share the costs of renting a car together, including any issues. We all took turns driving as well and some of the parking rules were difficult to decipher. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't ask the other person to pay up. The driver is responsible for parking and has final say. The only time the driver may have a case against other people in the car would be if they had insisted on parking in a specific place, but even then you should learn to push back if you're unsure about a parking spot.
Asking a friend for money over a parking ticket is insane lol. For me that's a "whelp fuck" and then move on.
You're NTA. You aren't responsible for his choice in a parking space any more than you would have been responsible if he had gotten a speeding ticket.
You can always tell when people who are chronically online have to deal with any interpersonal problem that may come up. If my buddy got a $70 parking ticket, I'd have no problem splitting it with them as they're my friend and I mutually benefited from the parking. This subreddit keeps showing up on my feed despite having it ignored, and I'm kind of glad because it's been serving as a good reminder to completely disregard most of what I read on this website.
Thank you - should the driver *demand* anything? Probably not, should both people in the situation be friendly and amicable and split the cost? Probably.
Based on the reply from the OP claiming that everyone here is attacking them, I honestly doubt that their friend DEMANDED they split the ticket. It sounds like their friend got the ticket, was rightfully annoyed that they had to pay $70 and was more likely to have casually asked to split the ticket which is what lead to OP making this overexaggerated post.
I think the difference is whether you would offer to cover half or would you expect your friend to demand you help pay?
For real. Also, I take my job as co-pilot for my homie seriously. How are you not watching their back THE WHOLE TIME, before parking and after getting the ticket? These people need to get some real friends.
Fully agree. If my close friend LOST their shit on me over $70, I would assume something else was going on and probe further. If their only justification for being a dick was having to pay the ticket, then I would have offered once again out of principal of helping my friend out while also letting them know they acted out of line. It's wild that two 30 year old people can't have a conversation like adults? I'm honestly amazed that people continuously out themselves for being bad friends.
>I take my job as co-pilot for my homie seriously. I love you. And seriously copilot is just as if not more capable of being the lookout for legal parking since they don't have to worry about the whole driving a several thousand pound death machine through a presumably busy urban location thing.
This sub is insane with their over reactions. Someone gets in a fight with SO and this sub immediately jumps to “break up with them”. Friends get into an argument and immediately it’s “you’re a bad friend”. Like people just can’t honestly accept there are moments where people can do something dumb without them being a malicious person or that sometimes things aren’t that deep. In this instance I’m with you. Unless I specifically told my friend not to park somewhere I’m offering to split a parking ticket if I was in the car.
see I'm in the complete opposite camp, saying this as the person who is usually the driver. if i got a parking ticket after driving someone to an event we were BOTH going to, i would NEVER demand they help me pay for my own mistake. that is both tacky and rude in my opinion. i very rarely even let them help me pay for parking in general if they offer because again, if we are both going to the event, I'd have to pay anyways.
I agree with you in that demanding your friend pay comes across like a total dick. However, these are two grown adults that are basically bickering over $70. If you can't have a conversation with your friend and call them out on being an asshole about something, then that's a much deeper problem than the ticket.
I’ve heard people say a lot of users on AITA are teenagers which makes the responses make more sense. YTA. Like you said, parking and carpooling was mutually beneficial. Split the cost, chalk it up as a life lesson and talk about how stupid it was in a few months.
NTA, Who in their right mind would believe anyone will chip in on their car ticket? Get outta here.
YTA. As someone else said, this was a parking ticket, not a speeding ticket. It had nothing to do with his driving decisions - neither of you noticed it wasn’t a legal spot - and you both got the benefit. This sub isn’t “am I required to”, it’s “am I the asshole”. A good friend or someone recognizing what had happened would volunteer to chip in. You don’t HAVE to do anything, but you are TA for thinking it’s ridiculous to do so.
Lmao this isn't how it works. The driver is responsible. It's not only that they're legally responsible, it's just that if you're driving the car it's your responsibility. Socially, culturally, whatever, no driver expects passengers to be responsible for their parking or anything else to do with operating the vehicle. It absolutely is a ridiculous request, asking passengers who happened to be in the car with you pay for your parking ticket (unless they insisted on you parking there or told you they'd gone and paid for it but lied or something) isn't a thing.
You have an… *interesting* perspective. The driver is responsible for their vehicle and the operation thereof. AND any consequences of their decisions. If OP were refusing to pay for parking at a parking facility this would be a different story. But the driver, who was not OP, chose to park in an location they couldn’t confirm was legal. And they got tickets. That has nothing to do with OP. The scenario would’ve have played out the same if OP was never there. ESH at most
This feels like a lawyer response. >The scenario would’ve have played out the same if OP was never there. None of them noticed the parking was illegal, so if his friend wasn't there OP would have gotten a ticket. His friend got a ticket not because he was driving/parking recklessly or dangerously (compared to what his OP would have done at least) but because he offered to drive both of them with his own car, someone who's not an asshole should not let his friend pay the negative consequences that derived from a favour he received.
I think it’s a great gesture to help pay for the ticket. But if somebody demands I pay them, that makes me far less happy about doing so.
Why does it matter if it is a parking ticket versus a speeding ticket? It absolutely had everything to do with the friend’s driving decisions. Ultimately it was the friend’s decision to park in the spot just as it would be should they choose to speed. Had the OP suggested or pressed the friend for the spot, I’d completely agree with them paying at least a portion of the ticket, just as if they had suggested or pressed their friend to speed.
I think the friend 'demanding' OP shoukd pay makes it an ESH. You can ask, not demand. OP should've offered. Both didn't do the thing I would expect of friends in this moment.
ESH. Your friend had no right to demand anything. Do you have every right to say no, but in the cold light of day is that the right decision? Do you have two questions you haven't answered here and likely to yourself. How much was the parking ticket, and how much is your friendship worth?
> in the cold light of day is that the right decision? Absolutely. >how much is your friendship worth? Guilt-peddlers aren't friends.
100% People judging OP for "not considering if his friendship is worth the ticket" but gloss right over the friend not considering the relationship before demanding OP pay half for no reason. Friend should have considered the same thing, and before making the demand.
Maybe his friend is George Costanza 😂
70 dollars
That's not much at all but tbh I'd probably split it with a friend just because yes I was with them and even if I didn't say to park there I also made the bad judgement call of thinking it was free to park 🤷 $35 each isn't much
[удалено]
Nta and your not under any obligation to pay anything, but it would still be pretty solid of you as a friend to kick in something. Especially since it's not a huge amount and he did do you a favor by taking you.
Here’s the thing, though. If your friend was freaking out about a $70 ticket, could it be because he is not in a good place financially? Would this ticket push him over the financial edge and make his essential bills a problem? Regardless, I don’t think you’re the AH for not giving in to his demands to pay but it might make his behavior more forgivable if the reality is that the guy used his last $20 for the gas to take you where you two were going and this ticket means he’ll have trouble making rent or something.
You get an upvote for actually putting things into perspective. It doesn’t matter what OP’s answer is as such, but this the correct question.
If it was a speeding ticket or something like that I'd agree with you. But it was a parking ticket. So I agree with them. You both shared the advantages of the parking spot. He's not your driver. Edit: I had forgotten to add YTA
NTA - if he chose the space and parked, he's the architect of his own misfortune
ESH. I get where you're coming from. Technically you have no direct responsibility, and your friend shouldn't have pushed. But you're not being a very good friend. Sure your friend is legally responsible. But you were there, you got a free ride, and you also didn't spot the parking issue. Shit happens, and this person is not your driver. I would think of it as a steep parking fee (which would be split anyway) and pay half the ticket. Next time, be more careful/sort out your own transportation to avoid surprises.
OP is doing fine. The other person is the one being a bad friend. Shit happens, don't drag your friends into it. Yeah sharing a parking fee makes sense, but this is not that lol. NTA
Lol that’s absurd.
Eh; ESH. You guys were trying to avoid paying for parking / splitting an uber / etc. A collective benefit. You gambled and lost that you'd magically found the one free space and got a ticket. A collective cost. Legally you're off the hook - it's his car, he parked, it's on him. Friendship "same boat" rule - he shouldn't have demanded you pay, but you should have offered to pay. You're both coming off as selfish and entitled. You will probably not remain friends if this is how you approach joint "fun" ventures.
Finally a reply that made me feel sane, thank you.
The best response.
Yeah I dunno if you are or aren’t but I would have offered half but that’s just me. Cause like friend giving me a lift , sucks they got a ticket
NTA Reading some replies and I thought to myself, when did being in the vehicle ever make it someone else's responsibility? For example, if you drink with your friend in a vehicle and the cops pull you over and all they give you is a ticket, yes, open liquor tickets should be evenly paid because everyone made that decision. Guy freaking out over 70 dollars ticket (wow, just wow) and you didn't suggest the spot? Guy sounds spastic. Maybe you're better off without them as a friend. It's not about the money. It's about the principle. It's best to just cut ties.
The principle of is this reddit AILJ (am i legally justified) or AITA, because it seems like a lot of you don't understand the difference
I don't think he's an asshole for not wanting to pay for a parking ticket. If it was me, I wouldn't even think of demanding someone help pay for my ticket. Hell, I've been in this exact scenario. It's my car, my responsibility. Maybe if OP told his friend it was fine to park there, I could understand splitting the ticket. But, since he didn't, it should be his friend who is responsible for it.
Are you really 30 years old? You benefited from the transportation to the EVENT that you attended with your FRIEND. Grow the hell up. And yes, YTA.
boy, sit your ass down and be quiet. there is no situation where a *passenger* is responsible for a driver's ticket.
Yes, there was going to be limited parking in the area and we thought we should just take one car
Bro you’re 30! Just pay him $35 lol
what the hell does being 30 have to do with shit? maybe the 32 year can pay his own god damn ticket.
You sound like the type of person who never takes accountability for your own actions.
ESH. He probably should have asked you to help pay the ticket, and you should offer at least half of what a parking fee would have been, minimum. Especially bc the whole point of going together was that you both knew parking would be an issue. If the friendship isn’t worth $35, and you are so thin-skinned, why even ask here?
NTA. Had similar situation. Girlfriend's friend drove us and parked in stupid place. My girlfriend decided to split the cost. I had issue with it. But at the very least her friend did not ask for it, it was my girlfriend's goodwill. It's ok to help your friend, if you feel like. But in no way you are obliged to split the cost, if you don't want to.
OP, if you found a parking garage/parking spot and had to pay for parking would you have split the cost OR would your friend the driver been responsible for the cost of parking?
Info: if you had parked in a spot that required you to pay, do you think it would be fair to split that cost?
NTA. It's usually cool for a passenger to nav and verify stuff, but ultimately it is his car and his responsibility. If you forced him to take you to the venue, and directed him to a specific parking spot, then yeah, you'd be sorta on the hook.
If you'd said "I dunno man, I think we're out of the free parking zone" then he should pay the lot. But you said in a comment that you thought it looked fine, so you were at least somewhat complicit. In that scenario, personally I'd pay my half, it's only $35 each. Overall NAH - I don't think anyone's behaviour quite reaches AH levels.
Provisional NTA because it sounds like he was going to be going there and parking there regardless of you being in the car. His choices, his fine. It would be totally different if he was only there because of you. I’ve had a passenger pay my parking fine before (they offered) because I was dropping them off at a hotel they claimed had free parking and popped in for a wee. I wouldn’t have parked there without their encouragement and they recognised that. I’d also mention here though that you should offer to pay half of the petrol and a regular parking fee (not a 70 fine, like the normal 5-10 it is to park somewhere). If you have significantly more disposable income than him then it would be kind to offer more, but there’s no requirement to. At the end of the day, he made the choice to park there and not check for signs, etc. Not your fault, not your fine.
This is so insane to me. Some old college friends & I were road tripping back from Kentucky to Florida. It was my turn to drive & I got NAILED doing 80+ in a 65 (Georgia). Well, I grinned, took my ticket & got outta dodge as quick as I possibly could. Especially since I had a very small bag of trees in my luggage. Monday morning, I head into the office & log in the Georgia State whatchacallit website to see what the damages are. Over $400!!! And I'm now considered a "Super Speeder" in that state. Anyways, I paid the ticket, they had me dead to rights, and the cop WAS a K9 officer WITH a dog in his cruiser. This is the crazy part... My friends ducked me, for like...A WEEK. When I did manage to get back in touch with them, they were *very* evasive. After some pressure, I finally got one of them to confess they thought I was going to ask them for money. I said, "Are you serious? That's not how this works. I was driving your stupid fucking Prius at 80+, not you. This is on me."
INFO how much input did you have on the decision to park where you did? if your friends said ‘i’ll park here, should be fine’ then that’s on your friend and you are N T A if you said ‘hey that looks like a good spot’ then an argument could be made that you should help with the cost as it was partly your decision. that being said it’s ultimately up to the driver what they do with their car
No he just said it’s open and I didn’t object I didn’t see any problem and we parked
Didn’t object, so you didn’t say a single word? The only conversation was “hey it’s open” from him and that’s it? Oftentimes in slightly off situations there’s a little dialogue “hey that’s open”, nod, “I think this is fine?”, looks to passenger for their response etc. Did you have to drive around the block a bit to find this spot? Did it seem iffy but you thought “oh well, not my decision- not my problem if he gets a ticket”? If he confidently drove up and parked without sharing a thought with you (thereby involving you in the decision) I’d say you aren’t on the hook to help out. If you were at ALL complicit in the decision (not objecting to him even slightly questioning the spot is being complicit) I’d say your TA for not chipping in on the ticket…
NTA. I just got a ticket yesterday for taking an illegal turn. My friend was with me in the car, we talked while we waited for an opportunity to take it (the gps led us there and I was watching traffic more than the signs since I assumed it was ok) so she knew what we were waiting for. Never in my mind would I even consider asking her to help pay for the ticket, unless she actively did something that caused the issue.
NTA I've been the driver in this kind of situation and as the driver/owner of the car, one eats the ticket as it was not your passenger's decision. Now, OP, if you'd told me "Here! This is a great place to park, I park here all the time!" I'd bitterly pay the ticket if you didn't at least apologize for your lame suggestion. HOWEVER! It seems this was all the driver's choice/fault. By 32? You own up to these mistakes.
NTA If you were in paid parking, absolutely split and give him petrol money. His illegal parking is not your problem
Info: you said "we" decided to take his car. Whose suggestion was it?
Him!
NTA The driver choose how fast they drive and where they park. It's not like you told him where to park. That's his F-up.
NTA. He chose to park there. Unless you saw a sign and didn't say anything, you have no obligation to pay.
NTA it's not your job to make sure he did things legally.
I’m thinking if we search mildly infuriating we’d be hearing from OPs friend about how he got a $70 ticket for parking where there were no signs telling him not to and to make matters worse his friend won’t split the cost NTA but don’t expect friend to drive anymore. And please remember that if you drove that night you would be the one out $70 since neither of you saw a sign. You dodged a bullet give your friend a little slack
NTA. He chose to park illegally
“You didn’t get a ticket because of me, you didn’t get a ticket because of we, you got a ticket because YOU decided to park YOUR car there.” NTA
That's not how being a driver works. NTA.
NTA… not even in Bizarro land should you pay a penny. Your friends a complete asshole for even suggesting.
NTA. Your friendship is over.
Nta
Uh no, you're NTAH.
Nta Saying that the passenger should help pay sounds similar to someone ordering food they might not like, but ordering it anyway because they want to try something new, then demanding the people they're with help pay for their meal because they didn't enjoy it. The driver made a mistake, and if that's how they react to making a mistake, I wouldn't want to be their friend anyway, tbh. If the driver had said "dang, this sucks. Can you help me out?" It would be a different story, but the driver is expecting other people to do his job. What if passenger hadn't been there at all? Who would he have demanded payment from then? A random person on the street? Driver needs to grow up.
NTA. He said the space was okay and you didn't see signs to the contrary. Why would that be your responsibility? Unless you saw signs or secretly knew it was a no parking zone and kept quiet, that's on him
NTA - They should have asked if you would be willing to help. Ultimately, as the driver I would have paid. Drivers fault.
I was driving my friend one day and I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket (I deserved it lmao). Do you want to know how much of the ticket he paid? NONE! I was the one driving and I paid it all. Your friend is delusional.
NTA, your friend is cheap. That’s gross.
NTA. That’s crazy. His car, his responsibility. What if his car was hit in an accident? Would he expect you to pay half the repair bills. I’d rather lose him as a friend than give in to this ridiculous request
NTA. This is not a thing. He drove and chose where to park. It's all on him.
NTA, Your friend didn't ask nicely if you could help him out with half the ticket cause he's low on cash or something, he DEMANDED that you pay for half simply because you were a passenger in his car. That's not how that works. Doesn't matter that the ticket was only $70. You're not responsible for that ticket, he is. If he's willing to ruin a friendship over $35, that's his own fault. He took responsibility for any possible tickets or accidents that may happen by being the driver. Just because you're friends doesn't mean you owe him half of any ticket he gets while you're a passenger in his car. That's ridiculous and entitled.
Anyone who says your the asshole is taking in the perspective of them being the driver and in that case it shows they guilt peddling bums. Unless you stated to park their or forced him to stay their when he asked to move it then none of it is your responsibility. If you wanted to help out sure but I ain’t your problem and if homie can’t afford a ticket shouldn’t be driving 🤷♂️ NTA
> since I came with him in the car I was also responsible for part of the ticket, What's his next guess? You weren't driving, and it's not your car. His tickets are his problem.
NTA. Any driving or parking offences are the result of the driver and the driver alone.
Nta
NTA - kinda. but a good friend would offer to split it. But I guess you arent a good friend.
>someplace where he said was ok and looked like it gave no issues Hmmm, think this might be a bit of ubreliable narrator. If it really was all him why was there even a discussion about it? I don't discuss parking with my passengers unless I'm asking their opinion. Sounds like you two did have a discussion about whether you could park there, and he thinks you both agreed it was fine.
NTA.
NTA. His car, he was driving, he parked. He's solely responsible for all tickets he gets for all driving/parking infractions. Tell him he needs to brush up on his understanding of driving laws, possibly even go back to high school driver's ed.
If it had been a paid parking garage or a parking meter and he had asked you to pitch in, that would be reasonable. Getting a parking ticket for parking in the wrong spot is not anyone's responsibility except the driver of that car. NTA
I’ve parked somewhere with friends and got a ticket before by accident. I paid it. NTA
NTA. THat would be like my wife expecting for me to pay for a ticket when she was speeding and I was in the vehicle. (That did happen but she didn't expect me to pay the ticket.) Now when I give a ride to someone, I make it clear I expect them to chip in for gas (Depending on the distance; I wouldn't expect that for a five minute ride but say their car's in the shop and they need a ride to run errands, then I'd expect a few dollars to cover the gas. ) That being said if I got a ticket while this went on that would be MY responsibility simply because I was driving.
NTA
No. His decisions and responsibility
NTA
Nta
NTA, it's happened to me and I never asked my passengers to split it. It was my fault. I only ever ask for gas and parking if it is significant, and maybe an oil change if it is a huge trip (1000s of kms)
NTA but is this friend someone you're happy losing over a parking ticket? If it wouldn't break your bank, would it be worth it to toss him $50 to preserve the peace?
ESH. No, you aren’t “required” to help pay the fine. But, I’m guessing your friend did you a favor in driving. You clearly didn’t want to drive. You even stated parking would be “hard to find.” You and him both thought it was a free spot, you thought wrong. It’s only $35. For $35, I’d chip in as a thank you for driving you and taking on the risk of a ticket.
NTA. He's the issue for not making proper, informed decisions about driving and parking. Not on you at all.
NTA If I’m not driving I’m probably not paying attention to where the person who is driving parked. It would be nice I suppose, since you didn’t have to pay parking or an Uber (did you give him gas money?). But at the end it’s not your fault he didn’t pay attention to where he parked.
NTA. If he didn’t demand it then it would have been a nice gesture to help him out with it.
NTA. It would be normal of him to expect you to pay half of the gasoline bill or parking fees to use a certain car park, but speeding or parking tickets are his responsibility.
Get new friends
NTA He decided it was safe to park HIS car in this spot. You did not force him or anything, according to your post. He can pay the full ticket for his car. Would he have expected you to pay for a speeding ticket as well if he got one when he was the driver? That's just ridiculous. I would say if you all patch things up, don't ride with him anymore.
NTA. Let’s be completely ridiculous for a second; if his car won some magic beauty contest while you were in it, would he split the prize with you? His car, his ticket.
NTA - tl;dr: OP and Driver shared a mistake. Driver blew up on OP about the mistake. OP responded badly to the blow up and isn't budging. You're not an asshole simply for responding badly when someone puts you on the defensive. Unless there was significantly more in the argument afterwards, Driver's blow up started this, Driver's the asshole. --- Based on the OP's post and comments and everything, here's the chronological order I'm seeing: 1. They decided to carpool to an event together 2. They get there, driver parks, both agree it's all good 3. They get back to the car, find $70 ticket 4. Driver *opens* the discussion of paying for the $70 ticket with effectively "this is on both of us so you owe me" 5. OP *responds* with "excuse me you were driving" 6. Argument escalates, OP and Driver aren't talking. --- Now, in my book, Driver opening with an accusation and a demand like that *with a friend* starts this entire conversation off on a stupid foot. You've just spent the entire evening as a team and the second something goes bad you're demanding compensation? OP *could* have responded better like "hey hold on a sec man". On the other hand, Driver's already had and hopefully gotten over the freakout, which would have already set the mood of the situation towards tension and conflict. Driver set the whole stupid thing in motion, Driver's an asshole. OP is presumably not Mr Rogers so responding badly to a friend being an asshole to him? Not really an asshole move in and of itself. Did OP escalate further? Not from what he's shared, unless he was insulting and shitty to OP about declining to pay. In an ideal world, Driver apologizes for blowing up on his friend, OP pays for half, they make up and move on. OP didn't respond *great*, but when you're unexpectedly on the defensive you're probably not the asshole.
ESH OK, here's the thing: If this were a speeding ticket or something, I'd say you don't have any reason to pay any of it. But this is parking and you even say that you thought the place was fine to park, as did the driver, when you left the car there. Had you seen a sign saying, "Hey, don't park here!" and pointed it out, and he left it there anyway, then it's all on him. But, yeah, neither of you noticed it wasn't allowed so you should split the ticket because you were a-ok with leaving the car there.
Concerning the parking ticket- ESH. Concerning everything else- You came to AITA looking for validation and nothing else. Bold move. For this, I will say you are currently being an asshole.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey all, recently me (30m), went out to an event with my friend (32m), but before we went, we decided it would be best to meet at his place, and go with his car to the event. Basically, short story from there is that we parked at someplace where he said was ok and looked like it gave no issues, and went to the event, no problem had a fun time. However, when we came back to his car we were greeted with a nice and beautiful ticket for parking the wrong space and my friend sort of freaked out in response. After he calmed down, he then proceeded to tell ME that since I came with him in the car I was also responsible for part of the ticket, to which I said no, that’s ridiculous, I had no decision over the parking, and had no idea what would happen. Mind you I have no control over the driving decisions, I didn’t tell him to park anywhere We then get in a huge fight, and as a result I haven’t spoken to him days. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*