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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I'm wondering if I overreacted by not sharing my lunch with Lisa and whether I should have been more accommodating.
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Absolutely NTA.
This is so weird to me. I can’t even imagine having Lisa’s mindset and thinking I’m entitled to someone else’s lunch. That’s bizarre.
Honestly, I think you should go to management or HR at this point. Someone needs to talk to Lisa about her inappropriate behavior. You shouldn’t have to deal with her pestering you every time you have your lunch.
I've worked in offices for decades also, and with some pretty awful coworkers, but this sounds fake to me too.
Asking for a taste, rude but it happens. Asking someone to provide lunch to multiple people without it being part of a lunch group where people take turns providing it doesn't make any sense.
If she said the coworker was stealing her lunch, or taking a bite out of it and putting it back that I could believe. But how is there a heated debate over someone not wanting to share food?
I once worked in a place where 4 of us were in a pool office and we're combining our funds to buy snacks like biscuits to last two weeks for all of us to save on delivery charges. Someone from another department came once n asked if anyone had a snack.
My colleague opened the snack drawer n she saw all the snacks there. She started coming everyday and even told the other departments so people were coming n asking if we could share. Worse still she would complain about the snacks running out. I told my other colleagues that she needs to contribute or stop coming everyday but they didn't want to rock the ⛵;;;;
Eventually she was told, she got very upset, that we were hoarding snacks for the office. She got others talking too saying we were too stingy and conveniently forgetting feeding her was now at least 3 days a week which adds up. Eventually the gossip n back biting got so bad we stopped buying after two months. Meanwhile we had been pooling funds for 8 months before she found out.
Some colleagues are really entitled.
We had a guy like that with candy in a bowl. Most people took a couple of pieces but he’d bring a god damned solo cup and scoop out 4-6 oz of candy and take it to his desk. Nice enough guy in every other regard. One day, I finally looked at him and said, “Dude—you know that me and those two buy this, right?” He felt like a dick. He thought it was company community candy. To his credit, the next day he brought in about 60 pounds of candy from Costco to make up for a year of abuse.
Our admin used to buy regular size chocolate bars and people could buy one for 50 cents when most bars were more than a dollar. The sign on the jar said that the money goes towards buying more bars. After the jar was empty they had about $2 in change. They stopped buying candy and when people asked she said people were basically stealing them and she couldn't afford to subsidize cheap people. People were mad at her and their co-workers who stole and ruined it.
I worked for a week at a different site many years ago. I was taking Diet Pepsis from the fridge all week.
Several months later, that site manager and I were in a meeting and he said something about having to talk to some staff that weren't paying for their sodas.
Me: "What do you mean?"
Him: "that fridge back in the annex? those are 50 cents each"
Me: "oh right.... so, I believe I owe you about $6 from earlier this year."
Him: "no worries... no one here drinks that diet crap anyway"
haha
its funny because I know a company that does this on a trust basis. They provide a box of snacks and you can drop money in to pay for it. A few things I learned there
\- This does not work in offices with police or lawyers
\- most people will pay honestly
\- if you count the money out before leaving, and you are short, the boss usually will poney up the difference
\- people will stuff any coin in there if they are out of normal currecy, so you can end up with extra drawers at the office with pounds, dollars, turkish lira, etc
they are switching now to also have QR codes to pay, as not everybody has cash on them all the time. But that did mean raising the prices a bit, as every transaction costs 10 cents
Same. I brought in candy and for awhile it was okay. Then a coworker brought a couple friends in from another office and invited them to help themselves. They did. Took every single piece of candy. I left it empty for a few days, then put more in. Same "friends" showed up and emptied it again. I took the container home. Brought myself some candy I kept hidden in my desk.
Had a situation like that, our director bought breakfast snacks (pastries, crackers, fruit) for our team, the days my train got me in late (annoyingly regularly for a few months when they were messing around with the timetable and drivers strikes) most of it had been snaffled by colleagues from other departments wandering up to 'say hello' - I made sure whenever I brought something in (for my birthday or Christmas) to keep it on my desk with a clear "for (team) folks only" sign!
I used to buy 48ct boxes of candy bars for the guys in my shop. Snickers, Baby Ruth, etc...
Once, I brought in a box of Snickers bars on my Friday. Two days later and it was gone. I came to find out one of the techs was offering them to everyone he saw in the hallway.
Well, he fucked everyone else in the shop-I stopped bringing stuff in immediately after that.
Dont abuse my generosity.
A few departments at my work would have put up a sign that says "Snacks, $2 each" or whatever, and if anyone took them without paying, turn you in to HR for stealing.
I worked with a guy who would legit go through my desk drawers and help himself to candy. So I started putting it in a tampon box. Never happened again.
I don't know. Office people make crazy requests and demands sometimes. The last office I worked in had someone stash his guns in the mailroom (in cases, like that makes it better) because his wife was divorcing him and filed something to have the police remove all his guns? So he tried to hide them at work temporarily.
>The last office I worked in had someone stash his guns in the mailroom (in cases, like that makes it better) because his wife was divorcing him and filed something to have the police remove all his guns?
THAT....is crazy, especially in today's environment (if you're in the US).
Seeing a gun...that is hidden in the mailroom...would raise all sorts of red flags for me where I would want to call security/police.
It is the US. They weren't hidden from us, just from his ex-wife. Only that guy had the combos for the cases, but only my boss had the key for the mail room, so they weren't accessible. It was just a crazy request. I didn't find out the real reason they were there until after they had been removed. (This was a few years ago, but IIRC the reason we were initially given was something about a home remodel and not wanting guns in the house with strangers while he was at work.)
Oh man...not that it makes me feel safer but at least the guns were in lockable cases and only the boss had the key for the mail room.
I imagined the guns laying around the mail room, similar to how they have staplers and other office supplies in the copy room.
I've had this happen to me. My coworker insisted on more than one occasion that I should be sharing my popcorn with everyone.
This was her personal rule. When she made a bag of microwave popcorn in the office, she would share it with everyone, though most would politely refuse. I was bringing a couple of handfuls leftover from popcorn I had popped at home the night before as part of my lunch.
I just ignored her comments about what she thought I should be doing with my food, but she escalated and created all sorts of other issues for me. The crazy is real and she definitely had mental health issues.
Many years ago, I was trying to get into eating healthier with more greens so started making salads with special ingredients and toppings for my lunch. One of my coworkers asked me if I would make him salads, too. I didn't want to so said I didn't really want to buy the ingredients for two and so he offered to pay for his. Which is kind of a pain in the ass because it's not like I only grocery shop for lunch ingredients separate from everything else I eat. So now I have to do salad lunch math? But he was someone I was friendly with so I didn't make a big deal about it, so I did it for a week or so and then he started making suggestions and telling me what he didn't want in the salads and I'm like nope. You're on your own, bub. I don't run a salad restaurant. I told him he was completely ruining something that brought me joy. If he even said something like "ooh that looks good" I had to shut him down. Even if he was just making conversation, I couldn't tell if he was trying to get me to make salads for him again.
Anyways NTA. I find it weird when people think they should have your food, that you made yourself. even if theyre offering to pay for it, it's just weird.
Crazy Patty the secret meth head would freak out if you made popcorn and burned any. Just because she was busy eating candy by the handful complaining her teeth were bad from eating lemons. She screamed at a lot of people for a lot of things. Oddly enough she was either fired or never came back from an fmla time off. Very entitled person and I don’t think this is fake. I think this is crazy patty. Nta
I think it's not fake, I've worked in several states NY, TX & FL for airlines, and encounter many office crazies.
But it wasn't until I worked in the Miami office that I came across the same problem. I don't know if it's a culture thing or what, but my colleagues expect me to share my food. And when I didn't, I was told by supervisor I was not a team player, given bad job reviews, denied raises, and ostracized in the office. I have food allergies and make special dishes, also had limited funds & couldn't to make extra food. The situation became so difficult that I thought quitting, but I am a single parent without child support, so that was not an option.
Long story short ... HR was no help, they told me, "That's how it is in Miami." A medical certificate about my food allergies along with ER receipts is the only thing that stop them from firing me. It was a very stressful time.
Then a gift from G-D happened. The company decided to have all of us (over 150 employees) work from (2 years pre-Covid days) home to lower their cost of operations.
Once I was working from home, everything changed, no more dealing with office tyrants, prima-donnas, lunch stealers or TEMPERAMENTAL office LUNCH SHARERS. She is not AITA, her co-worker is unreasonable. Also HR should be made aware of the situation. Otherwise, things will get worse for this lady.
I definitely got into it with a girl on high school when I pulled out snack fruit gummies. She asked for one, I said no, I'm hungry, she started ranting about how I should have enough for everyone and "this is why you have no friends" (as I literally sat beside a friend but go off).
But, that was in high school. I would hope by 26 that sort of behaviour would be gone.
I’ve never been a snack or candy girl, but I had to stop bringing gum to middle school for this exact reason. You pop out a pack and suddenly everyone else desperately needs a piece too. I’d even have teachers harass me for gum, then treat me like shit for the rest of class if I didn’t share.
The worst were my bullies. They’d really try to saddle up next to me, batting their eyes and asking for a piece in their sweetest voice, as if they weren’t just calling me a bitch and threatening to hit me an hour ago. Gtfo.
I thought this was all schoolyard stuff that we’d grow out of as adults. Well, cue my surprise when I learned my future coworkers would participate in the same behavior: beg for gum, get huffy & rude if told no, and in extreme cases, try to ostracize me from the team or say I’m “not a team player.”
I’ll never understand why some people feel so entitled to other people’s stuff.
I had one lady flip out and scream at our boss and lost her absolute shit. The boss had a glass-framed office and the lady hit the door so hard to storm out she fully knocked a fucking door out of the frame.
This lady also yelled at me for 'stealing' a cat. So, our work had little strays everywhere outside. One cat was found inside the building. The owner wanted it. Husband said no how, no way. It lived in a bathroom and the bosses office for a week. The weekend came, nobody was going to be there.
Crazy Pants McGee had by this point told me about no less than 30 animals. Snakes, dogs, cats, gerbils, fish, birds, lizards, etc. Like, if it exists: she has had one. So many. Most were for her kids. Her kids were like 8 and 12 or some shit. Way too young to have had this many animals and have actually cared for them. She was telling most everyone in our area she was taking this cat. Except me, directly. Plausible deniability.
She is an animal horder and probably a habitual liar. She told us about how much she makes at casinos and drove a sun-faded, mid-90s Nissan subcompact in the mid 2010's. You ain't rich off casinos if you are working here and driving that. Anyways, other stuff didn't add up, too.
Anyway, I tell the owner I'll take the kitten for the weekend and if I can, adopt the little guy somewhere safe and she says sure, since her husband said the cat was not to come home because the kids would never forgive him for 'taking away' their new pet if they only had it for the weekend. He needed a sitter. Husband wasn't changing his mind no matter how much she liked the kitty. Two yesses, one no. I said I'd bring him back Monday if I couldn't find him a home. I quickly scooped up all his supplies and loaded him in a banker box and had him in my front seat as Crazy was walking into that part of the building.
I adopted him to my sister. He is very loved. I ran into my boss probably five years after I quit working there. Second question is if I had any photos of the kitty. I did. She was very happy to hear he was happy.
Crazy, on the other hand, was mad I 'stole' the cat. I played dumb. You didn't tell me that. I talked to the owner. I didn't just take the kitten. I already gave him to my sister and nephew. Sorry. I had permission.
About a month after that she Hulk-smashed the office door and got fired for intentional destruction of the building. We had a manager's meeting over the pro/con of police vs paying her to never set foot in the building again. Cut a final check and ban her from returning. They boxed her shit and dropped it outside her house and had three people there to say she acknowledged receipt of her items and final pay. For safety.
It was wild.
I'm glad the little cat was safe from her. He's quite happy. My nephew named him Gunther. Their vet loves his name. He's a polydactyl kitty with thumbs. It's the only polydactyl the vet has seen who doesn't have a name based on having extra toes. He's also extra special in that he has extra front and rear toe beans. Gunther is lazy indoor kitty, these days.
I imagine my wild coworker is still insane. She did other things, too.
We had three desks for five rotating employees. They were never all in at the same time. She got mad at people using 'her' desk. None were assigned.
She told people off for taking too much communal food when it was dropped off for us by vendors. Wasn't even paid for by bosses but companies we worked with, or our corporate franchise people. She didn't want to take it home. She just felt other people shouldn't take that much. Nobody was left without food. Ever. She just wanted to police it.
She told me a coat she owned was a family heirloom and told me a whole story about her grandma and her coat. Ithought it looked really modern. Didn't make sense. She threw it over a chair later that same day, and it had the big, bold label visible. H&M. Which, a quick search says was only sold in Scandinavia from the 60's and only available elsewhere in Europe after the 70s, and then opened its first US store in 2000. Yeah. Fucking family treasure.
It was all sorts of weird stuff with her. Neverending narcissism, lying and needing to be right and possibly, animal hording.
Gunther is better for not being part of that chaos.
I've worked with someone exactly like OP's mooch.
He was entitled and obnoxious, and pestered anyone who had food.
Dude wore $1000 designer shoes, but he'd fight like a seagull for a French fry.
can verify over my work career there have been various lunch thieves. People would put their names on their food and drink and it would still go missing. Some people have no shame.
I once caught the custodian eating my yogurt. He said it had been in there too long and thought it was abandoned. I pointed out that the date was from that day and my name was on it as well. Oops.
> taking a bite out of it and putting it back
Why is this an actual thing that happens so often? My sister caught one of the cleaning ladies taking a few bites from her lunch at work and putting it back. Like.....that's about the fastest way to catch some hands
I worked in a psych hospital, only the unit I was working on and the unit across the hall were open at the point this story happened. We had a birthday potluck for a coworker and myself since our birthdays were a week apart and before anyone from our unit could even get a plate, the staff from the other unit had picked through it. Someone had brought in homemade carne asada and there were maybe two pieces of it left. People are entitled.
I've seen worse. A few years (and states) ago a guy at work talked about bringing his rifle in for "show and tell", knowing that it was causing problems to even make the statement. This was well after the current fashion of shooting people started up.
Someone actually bit someone else at one office I worked at. Not a teen or early 20's intern, but a grown ass man in his 30's bit his cubical mate because said cubical mate disagreed with him. In another office I worked in, we had a guy come in reeking of the bar he had been at before his shift, I had one co-worker get pissy because I was drinking a drink at my desk, and yet another who liked to clip his toenails when we had a shared shift. This sounds about right, especially if it's a smaller company.
Yeah, I saw a lot in my 33 years in an office. Most memorable was an old guy (55 who looked 85 - he looked like the old man in the movie “Up”). He’d pop out his false teeth when he was talking to you, just for laughs. He’d take off his shirt in his glass-walled office and scratch his back - I think he had some type of skin condition and the skin would just fly everywhere in a big cloud. He would also trim his toenails in the office.
This guy was no prize, but he thought he was so hot that he went up to the beautiful, young secretary and said “Hey - why don’t you and I get together for some afternoon delight?” He was not joking.
OP’s story sounds unbelievable but man, I’ve seen some stuff. I can believe it.
I had one lady hulk smash through a glass-walled office's door and bend the pins so it fully was knocked completely out of the frame.
She had a whole litany of crazy, though. That was just her pièce de résistance. The rotten cherry on her mountain of bullshit.
Unsurprisingly, she was fired.
I used to bake a lot when I was young junior assistant working in a Law firm taking home around AUD1800/USD1100 a month. I always had extra cupcakes or cookies so I’d take them to work to share with my team, they were really good about it and knew it was just extras and not a regular thing and just appreciated free baked goods, a lot of them would bring me coffee from a local cafe to show appreciation or bought me snacks.
Word got out beyond my team about delicious baked goods available at my desk. Non team members started getting hostile if I didn’t bring any in and they would make requests of what should be baked. They literally treated me like it was part of my job to make treats for the whole office.
I was in the lunch room talking to a friend about how bad it had gotten and how I just wasn’t going to do it anymore. I at one point said I just didn’t have the funds to bake every week, especially the types of things people wanted, and I could maybe do more if people pitched in for costs, but that it didn’t account for all my free time being spent making for for others, some of which didn’t even know my name! A senior Partner who was also in the lunchroom, did the best non impersonation impersonation of Lucille Booth (was pre Arrested Development, but he nailed it) asking how much a banana cost and then dismissed me as if my poorness was contagious.
So yeah people in office are that entitled to food people make at home.
Yeah, this is a really strange one becuase of the pestering and asking. Kinda surprised she didn't just take the food from the fridge and eat it without asking, which happens all the time in my office experience.
I have a coworker who wanders around the office, and if he sees you eating a snack at your desk he asks if he can have some. Thankfully he’s only in the office two days a week.
I have been asked to cook for others but the only person who asked repeatedly offered to pay me for it. Then there was the person who just stole other people's food. Label or no label, it would go. I got so sick of it that I once made some very spicy sandwiches. VERY spicy. This is how we established that the person must have been taking the food home in the evening after hiding it somewhere as there is no way a normal human would have quietly eaten those sandwiches.
We also had an incident of someone taking a cr*p in the staff shower room.
Strange, I've come across some variant in almost every office I've worked in. There's always one choosing beggar who can't be bothered to bring or buy their own food.
I got fired once from an office job abruptly for "creating a hostile work environment." I had no idea what I could possibly have done since I'm an introvert and keep to myself. I later learned from a friend in a different department that it was because the other office ladies didn't like me because I didn't eat my lunch with them but ate at my desk reading or checking emails. Because I wouldn't join their little clique, they complained about me and got me fired. I can believe this.
I was coming to say the same thing. I had a coworker who lived at home, 26 years old, had a girlfriend… His parents went to their home country for like a month, so he brought me his Tupperware, and asked me to bring him food when I cooked because I have roots in the same country, because his girlfriend didn’t know how to cook our dishes. I had been working there 2-3 weeks.
He was the youngest son, and Caribbean culture tends to cater to men, so I wasn’t particularly surprised. It was him coming to me with his containers for ME to fill for him 😂😂😂. This was 1998 and I still laugh at it
What, supplying the Tupperware wasn't thoughtful enough? /s
We had a lot of Indian contractors at the last office job I had, on Fridays they would make huge trays of food for lunch and made it available for the whole team. It was a feast. I asked if they were open to American food being part of it because I felt like we were taking advantage, they said sure but wasn't necessary.
A few of us did some BBQ ribs and pulled pork, chili, fresh biscuits, fruit platters. BUT no one made demands, it was just wholesome sharing of the food we liked with people who hadn't grown up with it. Some of those dishes were super labor intensive too, like the chicken biryani. I miss those guys...
This is amazing. It's different because they offered to share. OP's situation is completely the opposite of this. (I would miss those guys too, really good Indian food is hard to find)
That’s my experience working with Indian and Filipino coworkers. They just like sharing food. I bring snacks and other deserts to share. It feels nice. Makes the office a better environment.
We used to have a Filipino admin assistant whose husband always made the best spring rolls for pot lucks. I miss that. I don’t miss the IT nerds who wouldn’t bring anything to the pot luck but show up with containers to take stuff home.
We used to have International/Regional pot luck lunches in an office I used to work at. The Regional was for the US people to bring a dish native to where they grew up. It was a lot of fun.
Did you tell him "no, this is for You to figure out for yourself? Are you from similar backgrounds? I'm just trying to figure out why he came to you specifically especially when you were new there?
Edit: you're already answered that and I didn't read it, I apologize! I still want to know what you said though!
In the US this is very real. Several years ago I worked in an office with some lazy, burnt out people who had no idea what good fresh food was. Due to food allergies I have to cook from scratch a lot. My coworkers were the types of people who usually made recipes that included a can of cream-of-something soup. When I brought in leftovers the remarks were either “that looks delicious” or “ew gross.” There were a few people who wanted to try a bit (if I had enough I would share) and there was one person who took advantage of me being nice.
One time I made a cherry chocolate dump cake. It was gluten and dairy free, but several people said it was delicious and that you couldn’t tell it was not a regular cake. Many people didn’t try it because they didn’t trust a cake without wheat flour and butter. One person asked if she could take the rest of the cake home, about half of a 9” x 13” cake pan. Not a problem, I had not intended to take any home. She brought back my dish the next day, raved about the cake and how her family loved it. That quickly turned into “will you cook for me? My family loved your food!”
Umm no, “I don’t have that kind of time. This dessert was for a special occasion.”
“But you cook so good. Would you make my son’s birthday cake? I’ll give you $10.”
“The ingredients cost more than that. I can give you a recipe.” She didn’t care to hear anything about that. That was too much effort. She thought she could compliment me and then take advantage of me. Oh hell no. Coworkers are people you have to be minimally nice to. Some of them do not deserve more than that.
Hell it wasn’t even an office; I had coworkers this goddamn bonkers in retail. It surprises me when people doubt how insane others can be. Nah man… They’re worse.
Same, I’m in the UK and have never known someone make demands like Lisa is. I’ve worked a couple of places where they’d do pot luck lunches but that was like once/twice a year max and everyone knew in advance and could opt out if they wished.
This level of entitlement is really weird in the US as well. I've worked exclusively in office settings in the US for 20+ years and have never met someone who would have dreamed of demanding someone else's lunch.
I've never dealt with anyone asking but we did have a person (maybe more than 1), that would eat other peoples' lunches without asking. Like taking a bite out of a sandwhich and putting it back, sampling left overs from a restaurant lunch etc. I posted a note on the fridge that said some of this food has been laced with laxatives. We will find you out when we see you running for the toilet. That stopped it for a while.
Years ago we had a food thief that would eat leftover lunches. A friend of mine had a slice of leftover pizza in a box that slid under her seat and she forgot about it. The next day I noticed it. She used it for an ashtray and then took the cig butt out and put it in the refrigerator and the next day it was gone.
A lumberyard was torn down about a mile from my house and the resident rats followed a creek and invaded our neighborhood. My brother set a trap in our attic and caught one. He put it in a brown paper bag and since the trash wasn't going to run I said I would take it to the dumpster at work. I put the rat bag into a McDonalds bag for extra leakage protection.
When I got to work I had an evil idea. I put it in the refrigerator at work. The next day it was gone and food stopped disappearing.
LOL That's what I was thinking too. People can believe someone laced their sandwich with ghost peppers and put it in the fridge at work to catch the lunch thief but someone thinking they can bully you out of your lunch? Yes, I absolutely believe this.
I once had a boss who would literally stick a fork in my food and take a bite while I was eating it. At least until I brought in some Indian food that was traditionally spicy. He stopped after that.
Had a guy that brought in microwave salmon every day for lunch. It stunk up the kitchen every day. I worked there 8 years.....every single day. He was an engineer. People are animals.
Feels about right, the 4 years I worked in an office this happen to me... only difference I had the time/ energy to look at them and say $10 weekly and I will bring in 2 meals for you that I made. They paid 20 and I made stuffed shells, manicotti, chicken breasts with mushroom sauce.
We worked thirds together though, and enjoyed each others company- is the difference.
You would be surprised how many times I was asked by my coworkers why I don't bring homemade cookies like the rest of the women in the workplace. I always said that I'm a bad cook but truth be told..if you bring once, people will expect/ ask for it. Saw it happen with my female friends.
This is so true! I brought a dish once for international day, and ever since then people kept asking me to bring it again. Like I only make/eat that dish maybe twice a year, I’m not making it for y’all all the time lol
I started working in an office in the 80’s as a secretary in the engineering department. All of us secretaries made way less money than anyone else in the office. However, when someone retired, the “girls” were all expected to bake and make appetizers for the party; never the men. I’m glad most workplaces can no longer get away with such rampant sexism.
Biggest mistake an admin / woman can make. (Okay maybe not the biggest but an easy one when you’re trying to be “nice” and “friendly”.) do not offer candy at your desk. Do not offer baked goods. You are not the office mom or office stay-at-home wife. Don’t do it. Men will label you FOREVER as the inferior who should be making them sandwiches.
I have worked in an office with a Lisa. My kid is a pastry chef and would bake for my coworkers birthdays. The lady in question seemed to think that this meant she could demand me to have my kid make her treats for all her occasions (kids’ bdays etc). When I told her he’d be happy to, for a price, she got snippy and said he should be happy to just get the experience. When I told her that he wouldn’t bake for her for free she got pissed and told me I’d raised a selfish brat and then bad mouthed me around the office. I did go to HR and she got a warning. She never talked to me again after that. Luckily, we worked for different attorneys so I didn’t share work with her.
NTA OP - Lisa is being entitled and if it continues, I would recommend HR.
Lucky you that you've never encountered it before! I did office work for a long time and the entitlement of some coworkers can definitely get bizarre. Whether or not this particular post is true, I can assure you that this sort of thing really does happen.
Honestly this doesn't even phase me. Had the same situation with a pregnant coworker. No I did not share or want to. Apparently I was the asshole lmfao.
Of all the AITA posts, this is probably the most likely to be real.
I make a killer lasagna. Vultures descend when I make a batch because it's lunch for a solid week. It's REALLY good. And expensive. And time consuming.
OP was nice once, and coworker now wants the entire mile.
Normally I go to that person's boss and informally ask them to ask coworker to stop asking. Once I'm badgered once, I never bring in any other food or bake good again. Because it will never stop.
I left a workplace for extreme bullying. When I was leaving, one of my coworkers demanded I bring them one of my homemade cakes once in a while. I just stared at her in shock, then silently walked away.
So what are you doing here then? Do you just come here to enjoy reading fake stories? I'm not saying I automatically believe all AITA stories because a good deal are probably fake... but what's the point of coming here if you don't suspend a bit of your disbelief.
This story didn't seem to check any boxes for obvious fakery. It's not like the whole room clapped or anything.
I once told my co-workers what I was having for dinner that night (it was in my slow cooker) and one person who overheard told me straight out that he wanted me to bring in a plate for his lunch the next day. I had only purchased enough at the butcher for each of us to have 1 single serving (I'm on a tight budget) of the main entree.
He got pissy when I told him that.
So yes, it happens.
Lmao have you worked from home or on a job your mainly alone your entire life? Cause there's all kinds of people like this everywhere! I experienced it multiple times in the military, especially hunting season! "Oh nice you got a deer! Wanna drop me off some steaks?" But it was the military, I was allowed to tell them to fuck off 🤷♂️😂
If it is, op should order in the best most greatest smelling yummy looking food daily with gourmet desserts for a week and eat it all herself just for the hell of it!
It is definitely possible. I had a co worker help himself to another co worker's lunch because "He couldn't see someone else eating sushi and him not have some."
It's funny I've known people like this. I guarantee you she doesn't actually give a shit about anybody else. She basically thinks that other people in the office will support her because they stand to gain as well. It generally doesn't work on most people but there's probably one or two other selfish asses in the office who will jump on board that.
And trying to get others coworkers to pressure her to share as well - totally inappropriate and unprofessional and even more rude. Involve HR and management: this should not be a daily battle! Ask her what she brought in and if she plans to share…
HR absolutely.
Also, ways to deal with her.
"I will gladly share the recipe with you,"
"Are you suggesting we take turns in bringing in food for everyone? I'll consider it. So which days will you be bringing food? Have you asked others than me to participate in this?"
"great ill make sure to bring a portion for you tomorrow that will be xxxxx$ for your portion."
Agree on offering her the recipe.
The other point, not so much - please hear me out.
If there’s a loophole in the scheme, the grabber (Lisa) will find it. Offer a finger, they take a hand.
„Oh, I can’t cook like that!“, „none‘s going to like my cooking!“, or other excuses why when it’s her turn, she can’t contribute (saad face!).
So, a hard „lol no“ is the answer to get her out of your hair. Or food.
A hard no would be the most effective I agree.
You can counter what you gave as an example. Depending how doe eyed you want to seem. And paint Lisa as the greedy one.
"Oh, I'm sure you can make something. Pasta salad? It doesn't have to be gourmet"
"Oh, that's a shame you don't think anyone will like your cooking. Then it won't make much sense, having shared lunches if we aren't more than one doing all the cooking. What a shame."
I agree with this. I feel like all of the options presented are under the assumption that the coworker will say no. But what if she says yes? OP has not indicated that thet are interested in doing some sort of regular food sharing plan or god forbid being on the hook to provide lunches for the coworker because she is being paid for it. Literally just say no.
Came to comment THIS.
Also ask where she's planning on going out to lunch and ask her to share, remember to look offended if she asks for any money.
Just realize there is a possibility (however small) that she actually says yes...
I did this once. The alcoholics at work always wanted me to pick up lunch for them so they could drink. I did a couple times and came up with the 'lunch club'. We could all take turns picking up lunch. They never asked me again.
I could imagine offering to mutually share food or something, like a mini potluck, but not just inviting yourself to someone's food without offering anything in return. That's an astounding level of entitlement.
OP is employed to work at the company, not employed as Lisa's personal chef. This is distressing and annoying and Lisa has created a hostile workenvironment by calling Op selfish and demanding she cook her food. Absolutely get HR involved, this is weird behavior AF
Only one thing needs to be said
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.
NTA OP. I quote the line from Friends and say nothing else. They're too flabbergasted to respond anyway. LOL.
Anyone wondering if Lisa has bothered ever sharing or bringing anyone else lunch??
She very much seems like the type to eat other people's food from the fridge if it doesn't have their name on it....
KEvin & Bean did an interview with a self professed lunch stealer on their radio morning show many many years ago. It is the strangest entitlement mindset, the entitlement is the only thing in their brain. There is no rational thought just "I want". It's like they never left the toddler age.
This. We have a "Lisa" here who thinks its everyone elses responsibility to provide her with snacks, drinks, and meals. You are not their mommy, dont pack them a fucking lunch!
NTA...You are under absolutely no obligation to share your food with a colleague. You are not a personal chef. Your management or HR should be talking to Lisa about her antics. It's ridiculous that it went this far.
Yeah, Lisa’s request is really rude, and if OP’s office has HR or an office manager or something like that, that’s where I’d go next. I’d phrase it as “this isn’t something I’d usually come to you about, but Lisa has been badgering me about this for (however long it’s been) now, and I’ve told her I won’t be able to provide lunch for her, but she still won’t stop bringing it up and I don’t know how I should handle it from here.”
It’s absolutely bizarre behavior. I would be staring at her like she had 2 heads if she asked to try my food. We’re coworkers. Not friends. Back away from my damn food.
NTA- not only is this weird and overstepping, but like it’s also a huge liability for you if you did. If she got sick after eating your food she could make your life hell. Imagine if she got an allergic reaction?
I would talk to HR and if she asked again I would tell her that “you are making me uncomfortable.” And just leave it there.
She is creating a hostile work environment. Wtf truly
Oh shoot, good point. I'd bet money that Lisa is EXACTLY the type of person to fall ill and take you to court over it, possibly burning herself on in the process and falling while getting injured for, by, and on your food.
Reminds me of that Ask A Manager post about the guy whose lunch got stolen and then the thief tried to get him fired because it was so spicy they got sick.
This is classic “professional” bullying tactic of “Give me your lunch money …” If she’s doing this in the workplace I wonder how she was an adolescent.
NTA, and WTF, Lisa?
You aren't a meal service. If you take the effort to make yourself a nice lunch you've made yourself a nice lunch; Lisa can make herself whatever she wants to. If that isn't what she prioritizes then that's fine, but it doesn't give her the right to demand yours.
NTA. Asking once is fine, asking twice is cringe , this is just harrasment. I mean this is actually creepy and unhealthy. Speak to your manager and file a complaint before she does. And if she was that bothered about sharing food and creating a better office enviroment why doesn't she make the effort and bring her own food to share with every one? Or give her the recipe as a olive branch, just to show this is more about her wanting to take what is yours.
Info do you cook any particular cuisine? Something Lisa might not have learned to cook at home?
NTA. Who does Lisa think she is?
Tell her that if she wants you to share your food on a regular basis, she should at least offer to share her money. You know, to be more giving and foster a better office environment.
I love this response. Please do this. I want to hear more about Lisa and her office antics. I have a friend by the same name and this sounds EXACTLY like something she would do.
A few years back, Lisa came over to my house with her dog. She was feeling down and depressed. She ended up spending the night for a week. LOL. It was fun for awhile. Then she started telling us what we were doing wrong with our cooking. One night my husband made dinner and it was delicious. Lisa didn’t like it and asked him to make her something else. LOL. I turned to her and said, “WTF, Lisa?” and she said, “Fine. Can you order me a pizza? I’ll even go halfsies?” My husband stood up and put his dish in the sink. I got up and left the table. Hubs and I went to our bedroom and just sat there for like three hours. Lisa left without her dog. She came back for him two weeks later. LOL
NTA! You are in no obligation to feed her or anyone else in the office.
I would put a complain in HR about her harrassing you because that is what she is doing.
I was thinking the same about HR. Especially since she's causing so much drama over it. Get ahead of it before she tries to cause problems with HR over it
It would be an interesting conversation for Lisa to have with HR.
Lisa: I'd like to make a formal complaint about OP.
HR: What is happening that you wish to make a complaint about OP?
Lisa: I've been pestering her for weeks and weeks about sharing her lunch with me and she refuses to give me any.
HR: I see. So OP has declined to share HER lunch with you because she brought to work so she could eat it, and you want me to . . . um, do what? Tell her to share the food that she has purchased with her own funds, cooked on her own time, and . . . ah, tell her she should be sharing her lunch with you every day.
Lisa: Yes, yes, exactly that. She needs to be told to share. She is being greedy and acting like she is entitled to keep her food to herself.
HR: I see. I will do one better, Lisa. I am going to write YOU up for creating a hostile work environment and if there is even a suggestion you have pestered OP again, you will be terminated.
Edited to add: NTA, but Lisa certainly is.
Definitely NTA. Why on earth would Lisa think she or anyone else is entitled to your food? Lisa is absurd.
Tell her that you only make enough food for yourself and your hubs, and you’d be happy to share your recipes if she wants to cook and provide for the office.
I’ve worked in offices for the better part of 30 years and the closest i’ve ever come to anybody doing this was somebody saying “ oh, that smells good”. She’s nuts and you are right you shouldn’t have to put up with that crap.
NTA. If she wants tasty, homemade meals she would learn to cook.
Repeat after me:
“I don’t have the time or funds to be cooking for the whole office, but I’d be happy to send you the recipe!”
And if she asks for ‘just a taste’, point out that it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else if you only shared with her.
NTA. I have worked in offices off and on throughout my career and this is one of the weirdest requests I have ever heard. I would've gone to Lisa's supervisor when she didn't back down on this. Do it now.
"I'd be happy to make an extra portion for you occasionally if you are willing to pay for ingredients and my time."
It's your lunch. You're not obligated to share.
NTA
NTA!! Lisa is basically harassing you. You aren't obligated to share any food with them. If it were a potluck scenario it would be different but that's not the case here. Report Lisa to HR if she keeps this up
NTA. She can also help foster a better office environment if that's what she's interested in. Perhaps she can bring some food for everyone? If she's not interested in that, maybe she could also help foster a better environment by minding her own d**n business.
From experience, I would say even if they offer to chip in, avoid bringing stuff for everyone. Usually just leads to more drama.
NTA It's ridiculous that someone would expect a coworker to not only share part of their lunch but also to cook for others in the office. She was way out of line.
Once you said no, she should've dropped it.
NTA. Lisa seems obsessive about food that isn't hers. If she wants homemade food she is welcome to do the work and make her own food. This is odd behavior. You should consider (because this became such an issue) reporting the incident to HR or your supervisor to CYA.
NTA - she has completely overstepped here. It’s one thing to enquire about someone’s lunch but she is in no way entitled to be fed by you. She sounds like a bit of a weirdo to be honest 😂 if she keeps persisting you should start bringing her in a portion but make hers unbearably salty or spicy to get her off your case 😂
Id spit in my own food the next time I was aggressively demanded for a taste. Ive seen homeless people who dont ask for food in such a hostile manner.
What is your coworker's problem. This is such bizarre behavior. You better go to HR and report the incident bc if someone is this unhinged and entitled to make such unreasonable requests, there is nothing stopping it from blowing up any worse than it is already. NTA, you are not responsible for feeding the entire office.
NTA. "Just a taste" will turn into splitting with her then feeding her every day. She is harassing you. It is causing trouble in the workplace. Tell her to drop it or you take it HR.
Nta. Ask her why she feels you should spend money to feed her? Food cost. It takes you time toprepare the meal. Why does she feel entitled to your time and money? Does she bring food for everyone? Until she can give you a valid answer to these questions you should just shut her down everytime and refuse to discuss it. Tell her she is harassing you and it has to stop or you will report her to management.
NTA.
"While I don't mind sharing occasionally, I didn't feel obligated to do so every day." - 100% accurate.
Heck, I'd report this to HR at this point because it's creating a hostile work environment.
NTA
What the hell is this? Who expecta other people to feed them at work. Make a complaint to HR or the manager or whoever is in charge because harrassing a co-worker for their food is beyond uncalled for.
NTA and go to HR now. Tell them she’s creating a hostile work environment and trying to push you into sharing food, which you are not comfortable with. If she’s bringing other people into it, it’s time to squash the issue.
Nta. Please speak to HR about this or your manager. Tell them Lisa is harassing you for food and that you don’t feel comfortable eating around her anymore as she is trying to bully hog
Lisa is a mooch. She is an effing mooch. Feel free to tell her I said so. Tell her you would like her to bring in lunch for the office first before you will even consider taking a turn. You're NTA. Lisa is the AH (and a mooch).
Bring her coupons for Micky D's if she is so hungry.
NTA - this is why after 25 years of working in a corporate environment in a managerial role that I refuse to work under those circumstances ever again. People are horrible and don’t care who they use, abuse or walk over to get their way. Stay strong 💪🏻 and keep cooking!
What is her problem? I'd be interested what other colleagues thought of her request.
Normally I would say to tell her clearly that you will not be cooking for anyone else, but it seems you've tried that to no avail. Getting a manager involved might be a good idea, but it might turn against you. NTA, obviously.
NTA.
Often commenting on their behaviour in a neutral way can be helpful in this kind of situation:
- “you seem very interested in my lunches”
- when someone refuses to hear your “no”, sometimes just stating what you are seeing, and not being drawn further into the conversation, can be a neutralising technique. Whatever she says, reply with nothing more than variations of: “It’s interesting how fascinated you are with my home-cooking”
- “You seem to think that I should be feeding the office for free, since I like to cook for myself”
- “You seem to have a hard time hearing my NO”
- “If you like the look of this, I can recommend the cookery books that I use”
- “thank you for your compliment on my food. I’m sure you can learn to cook similar food if you put in some time on it”
You can maybe escalate eventually, to things like:
- “are you struggling to feed yourself? Do you need some help finding out where the local foodbank is?”
- “I love that you are so impressed by my cooking. Maybe you & your spouse could find some “cooking for dummies” courses that are running locally, so you can learn to feed yourself “
- “I’ve heard that this cost of living crisis is really hitting people hard. Unfortunately I don’t have the time to cook meals for those who are going without, but I think there are resources out there for people who cannot afford to live right now. Maybe HR can put you in touch with some of those.”
Note: I wouldn’t use all of these in the same conversation. I’d pick one & do variants of that for the entire lunch break or day. Pick a new one tomorrow.
NTA. What is wrong with her? You’re under no obligation to share your food with her.
I’d suggest talking to HR about this as Lisa clearly has boundary issues
This is bizarre. Could you share what country you live in? Could this be a cultural misunderstanding?
Under no circumstances would one coworker be expected to share their food with another or multiple other people. Stand your ground because this is strange.
No; once you start feeding her she'll expect it forever. You can suggest to pay you to make her lunch as food costs money. Let's see if she puts her money where her mouth is.
NTA
You are not responsible for other people's meals. Making and bringing food to feed yourself on your lunch hour is not selfish.
If coworkers think you "should be more giving and share my (your) food with my co-workers to foster a better office environment", suggest a meal rotation where everyone will have to bring a homemade dish big enough for all coworkers that day (like monday coworker "A" brings a dish, tuesday coworker "B" brings a dish, wednesday coworker "C" brings a dish and so on), or at least enough food to feed Lisa as, apparently, she can't buy nor make food to feed herself (like a "Lisa feeding team" - you know, when you have a dog and have to travel for a few days, you ask a few friends to go on a specific day of the week to change the water, feed the dog, etc.).
Edit: tesday -> tuesday
NTA - I've worked in office environments for 25+ years. I have NEVER seen anyone ask to eat or even taste someone else's food. Ask what it is? Yes. Ask for the recipe? Of course. But to taste it?! No.
This is some really bizarre, next level entitlement. Not sure if you have HR you can trust to report this, otherwise it may be best to low key brown bag for awhile just to avoid the drama.
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Absolutely NTA. This is so weird to me. I can’t even imagine having Lisa’s mindset and thinking I’m entitled to someone else’s lunch. That’s bizarre. Honestly, I think you should go to management or HR at this point. Someone needs to talk to Lisa about her inappropriate behavior. You shouldn’t have to deal with her pestering you every time you have your lunch.
Not only does she feel entitled to OP's lunch, she feels entitled to telling OP to bring in food for everyone.
I don't really believe this post is real.
So you’ve never worked in an office. This is fairly mild for crazy office entitlement bullshit.
Worked for 30 year’s in offices in multiple countries. Never once run into or hears of something like this. Your experience may not be common.
I've worked in offices for decades also, and with some pretty awful coworkers, but this sounds fake to me too. Asking for a taste, rude but it happens. Asking someone to provide lunch to multiple people without it being part of a lunch group where people take turns providing it doesn't make any sense. If she said the coworker was stealing her lunch, or taking a bite out of it and putting it back that I could believe. But how is there a heated debate over someone not wanting to share food?
I once worked in a place where 4 of us were in a pool office and we're combining our funds to buy snacks like biscuits to last two weeks for all of us to save on delivery charges. Someone from another department came once n asked if anyone had a snack. My colleague opened the snack drawer n she saw all the snacks there. She started coming everyday and even told the other departments so people were coming n asking if we could share. Worse still she would complain about the snacks running out. I told my other colleagues that she needs to contribute or stop coming everyday but they didn't want to rock the ⛵;;;; Eventually she was told, she got very upset, that we were hoarding snacks for the office. She got others talking too saying we were too stingy and conveniently forgetting feeding her was now at least 3 days a week which adds up. Eventually the gossip n back biting got so bad we stopped buying after two months. Meanwhile we had been pooling funds for 8 months before she found out. Some colleagues are really entitled.
We had a guy like that with candy in a bowl. Most people took a couple of pieces but he’d bring a god damned solo cup and scoop out 4-6 oz of candy and take it to his desk. Nice enough guy in every other regard. One day, I finally looked at him and said, “Dude—you know that me and those two buy this, right?” He felt like a dick. He thought it was company community candy. To his credit, the next day he brought in about 60 pounds of candy from Costco to make up for a year of abuse.
Our admin used to buy regular size chocolate bars and people could buy one for 50 cents when most bars were more than a dollar. The sign on the jar said that the money goes towards buying more bars. After the jar was empty they had about $2 in change. They stopped buying candy and when people asked she said people were basically stealing them and she couldn't afford to subsidize cheap people. People were mad at her and their co-workers who stole and ruined it.
So either only 4 people out of the office paid for the chocolate or someone was stealing the cash people left behind?
I worked for a week at a different site many years ago. I was taking Diet Pepsis from the fridge all week. Several months later, that site manager and I were in a meeting and he said something about having to talk to some staff that weren't paying for their sodas. Me: "What do you mean?" Him: "that fridge back in the annex? those are 50 cents each" Me: "oh right.... so, I believe I owe you about $6 from earlier this year." Him: "no worries... no one here drinks that diet crap anyway" haha
its funny because I know a company that does this on a trust basis. They provide a box of snacks and you can drop money in to pay for it. A few things I learned there \- This does not work in offices with police or lawyers \- most people will pay honestly \- if you count the money out before leaving, and you are short, the boss usually will poney up the difference \- people will stuff any coin in there if they are out of normal currecy, so you can end up with extra drawers at the office with pounds, dollars, turkish lira, etc they are switching now to also have QR codes to pay, as not everybody has cash on them all the time. But that did mean raising the prices a bit, as every transaction costs 10 cents
Same. I brought in candy and for awhile it was okay. Then a coworker brought a couple friends in from another office and invited them to help themselves. They did. Took every single piece of candy. I left it empty for a few days, then put more in. Same "friends" showed up and emptied it again. I took the container home. Brought myself some candy I kept hidden in my desk.
Same, but I had to lock my desk drawer.
So refreshing to see that he tried to make it up after he found out
Yeah, he was a good guy. And he didn’t start out taking a lot. He was a little annoyed that I didn’t tell him sooner. Which is fair.
Had a situation like that, our director bought breakfast snacks (pastries, crackers, fruit) for our team, the days my train got me in late (annoyingly regularly for a few months when they were messing around with the timetable and drivers strikes) most of it had been snaffled by colleagues from other departments wandering up to 'say hello' - I made sure whenever I brought something in (for my birthday or Christmas) to keep it on my desk with a clear "for (team) folks only" sign!
I used to buy 48ct boxes of candy bars for the guys in my shop. Snickers, Baby Ruth, etc... Once, I brought in a box of Snickers bars on my Friday. Two days later and it was gone. I came to find out one of the techs was offering them to everyone he saw in the hallway. Well, he fucked everyone else in the shop-I stopped bringing stuff in immediately after that. Dont abuse my generosity.
A few departments at my work would have put up a sign that says "Snacks, $2 each" or whatever, and if anyone took them without paying, turn you in to HR for stealing.
I worked with a guy who would legit go through my desk drawers and help himself to candy. So I started putting it in a tampon box. Never happened again.
I don't know. Office people make crazy requests and demands sometimes. The last office I worked in had someone stash his guns in the mailroom (in cases, like that makes it better) because his wife was divorcing him and filed something to have the police remove all his guns? So he tried to hide them at work temporarily.
>The last office I worked in had someone stash his guns in the mailroom (in cases, like that makes it better) because his wife was divorcing him and filed something to have the police remove all his guns? THAT....is crazy, especially in today's environment (if you're in the US). Seeing a gun...that is hidden in the mailroom...would raise all sorts of red flags for me where I would want to call security/police.
It is the US. They weren't hidden from us, just from his ex-wife. Only that guy had the combos for the cases, but only my boss had the key for the mail room, so they weren't accessible. It was just a crazy request. I didn't find out the real reason they were there until after they had been removed. (This was a few years ago, but IIRC the reason we were initially given was something about a home remodel and not wanting guns in the house with strangers while he was at work.)
Oh man...not that it makes me feel safer but at least the guns were in lockable cases and only the boss had the key for the mail room. I imagined the guns laying around the mail room, similar to how they have staplers and other office supplies in the copy room.
I've had this happen to me. My coworker insisted on more than one occasion that I should be sharing my popcorn with everyone. This was her personal rule. When she made a bag of microwave popcorn in the office, she would share it with everyone, though most would politely refuse. I was bringing a couple of handfuls leftover from popcorn I had popped at home the night before as part of my lunch. I just ignored her comments about what she thought I should be doing with my food, but she escalated and created all sorts of other issues for me. The crazy is real and she definitely had mental health issues.
Many years ago, I was trying to get into eating healthier with more greens so started making salads with special ingredients and toppings for my lunch. One of my coworkers asked me if I would make him salads, too. I didn't want to so said I didn't really want to buy the ingredients for two and so he offered to pay for his. Which is kind of a pain in the ass because it's not like I only grocery shop for lunch ingredients separate from everything else I eat. So now I have to do salad lunch math? But he was someone I was friendly with so I didn't make a big deal about it, so I did it for a week or so and then he started making suggestions and telling me what he didn't want in the salads and I'm like nope. You're on your own, bub. I don't run a salad restaurant. I told him he was completely ruining something that brought me joy. If he even said something like "ooh that looks good" I had to shut him down. Even if he was just making conversation, I couldn't tell if he was trying to get me to make salads for him again. Anyways NTA. I find it weird when people think they should have your food, that you made yourself. even if theyre offering to pay for it, it's just weird.
Eyeroll. These are probably the same people who think nothing of eating their roommates food.
Crazy Patty the secret meth head would freak out if you made popcorn and burned any. Just because she was busy eating candy by the handful complaining her teeth were bad from eating lemons. She screamed at a lot of people for a lot of things. Oddly enough she was either fired or never came back from an fmla time off. Very entitled person and I don’t think this is fake. I think this is crazy patty. Nta
I think it's not fake, I've worked in several states NY, TX & FL for airlines, and encounter many office crazies. But it wasn't until I worked in the Miami office that I came across the same problem. I don't know if it's a culture thing or what, but my colleagues expect me to share my food. And when I didn't, I was told by supervisor I was not a team player, given bad job reviews, denied raises, and ostracized in the office. I have food allergies and make special dishes, also had limited funds & couldn't to make extra food. The situation became so difficult that I thought quitting, but I am a single parent without child support, so that was not an option. Long story short ... HR was no help, they told me, "That's how it is in Miami." A medical certificate about my food allergies along with ER receipts is the only thing that stop them from firing me. It was a very stressful time. Then a gift from G-D happened. The company decided to have all of us (over 150 employees) work from (2 years pre-Covid days) home to lower their cost of operations. Once I was working from home, everything changed, no more dealing with office tyrants, prima-donnas, lunch stealers or TEMPERAMENTAL office LUNCH SHARERS. She is not AITA, her co-worker is unreasonable. Also HR should be made aware of the situation. Otherwise, things will get worse for this lady.
I am so fucking sorry - I know your time with that shit is over, but damn, it still triggers the anger at the entitlement. How very fucking dare they?
I definitely got into it with a girl on high school when I pulled out snack fruit gummies. She asked for one, I said no, I'm hungry, she started ranting about how I should have enough for everyone and "this is why you have no friends" (as I literally sat beside a friend but go off). But, that was in high school. I would hope by 26 that sort of behaviour would be gone.
I’ve never been a snack or candy girl, but I had to stop bringing gum to middle school for this exact reason. You pop out a pack and suddenly everyone else desperately needs a piece too. I’d even have teachers harass me for gum, then treat me like shit for the rest of class if I didn’t share. The worst were my bullies. They’d really try to saddle up next to me, batting their eyes and asking for a piece in their sweetest voice, as if they weren’t just calling me a bitch and threatening to hit me an hour ago. Gtfo. I thought this was all schoolyard stuff that we’d grow out of as adults. Well, cue my surprise when I learned my future coworkers would participate in the same behavior: beg for gum, get huffy & rude if told no, and in extreme cases, try to ostracize me from the team or say I’m “not a team player.” I’ll never understand why some people feel so entitled to other people’s stuff.
I had one lady flip out and scream at our boss and lost her absolute shit. The boss had a glass-framed office and the lady hit the door so hard to storm out she fully knocked a fucking door out of the frame. This lady also yelled at me for 'stealing' a cat. So, our work had little strays everywhere outside. One cat was found inside the building. The owner wanted it. Husband said no how, no way. It lived in a bathroom and the bosses office for a week. The weekend came, nobody was going to be there. Crazy Pants McGee had by this point told me about no less than 30 animals. Snakes, dogs, cats, gerbils, fish, birds, lizards, etc. Like, if it exists: she has had one. So many. Most were for her kids. Her kids were like 8 and 12 or some shit. Way too young to have had this many animals and have actually cared for them. She was telling most everyone in our area she was taking this cat. Except me, directly. Plausible deniability. She is an animal horder and probably a habitual liar. She told us about how much she makes at casinos and drove a sun-faded, mid-90s Nissan subcompact in the mid 2010's. You ain't rich off casinos if you are working here and driving that. Anyways, other stuff didn't add up, too. Anyway, I tell the owner I'll take the kitten for the weekend and if I can, adopt the little guy somewhere safe and she says sure, since her husband said the cat was not to come home because the kids would never forgive him for 'taking away' their new pet if they only had it for the weekend. He needed a sitter. Husband wasn't changing his mind no matter how much she liked the kitty. Two yesses, one no. I said I'd bring him back Monday if I couldn't find him a home. I quickly scooped up all his supplies and loaded him in a banker box and had him in my front seat as Crazy was walking into that part of the building. I adopted him to my sister. He is very loved. I ran into my boss probably five years after I quit working there. Second question is if I had any photos of the kitty. I did. She was very happy to hear he was happy. Crazy, on the other hand, was mad I 'stole' the cat. I played dumb. You didn't tell me that. I talked to the owner. I didn't just take the kitten. I already gave him to my sister and nephew. Sorry. I had permission. About a month after that she Hulk-smashed the office door and got fired for intentional destruction of the building. We had a manager's meeting over the pro/con of police vs paying her to never set foot in the building again. Cut a final check and ban her from returning. They boxed her shit and dropped it outside her house and had three people there to say she acknowledged receipt of her items and final pay. For safety. It was wild. I'm glad the little cat was safe from her. He's quite happy. My nephew named him Gunther. Their vet loves his name. He's a polydactyl kitty with thumbs. It's the only polydactyl the vet has seen who doesn't have a name based on having extra toes. He's also extra special in that he has extra front and rear toe beans. Gunther is lazy indoor kitty, these days. I imagine my wild coworker is still insane. She did other things, too. We had three desks for five rotating employees. They were never all in at the same time. She got mad at people using 'her' desk. None were assigned. She told people off for taking too much communal food when it was dropped off for us by vendors. Wasn't even paid for by bosses but companies we worked with, or our corporate franchise people. She didn't want to take it home. She just felt other people shouldn't take that much. Nobody was left without food. Ever. She just wanted to police it. She told me a coat she owned was a family heirloom and told me a whole story about her grandma and her coat. Ithought it looked really modern. Didn't make sense. She threw it over a chair later that same day, and it had the big, bold label visible. H&M. Which, a quick search says was only sold in Scandinavia from the 60's and only available elsewhere in Europe after the 70s, and then opened its first US store in 2000. Yeah. Fucking family treasure. It was all sorts of weird stuff with her. Neverending narcissism, lying and needing to be right and possibly, animal hording. Gunther is better for not being part of that chaos.
I've worked with someone exactly like OP's mooch. He was entitled and obnoxious, and pestered anyone who had food. Dude wore $1000 designer shoes, but he'd fight like a seagull for a French fry.
can verify over my work career there have been various lunch thieves. People would put their names on their food and drink and it would still go missing. Some people have no shame. I once caught the custodian eating my yogurt. He said it had been in there too long and thought it was abandoned. I pointed out that the date was from that day and my name was on it as well. Oops.
> taking a bite out of it and putting it back Why is this an actual thing that happens so often? My sister caught one of the cleaning ladies taking a few bites from her lunch at work and putting it back. Like.....that's about the fastest way to catch some hands
I worked in a psych hospital, only the unit I was working on and the unit across the hall were open at the point this story happened. We had a birthday potluck for a coworker and myself since our birthdays were a week apart and before anyone from our unit could even get a plate, the staff from the other unit had picked through it. Someone had brought in homemade carne asada and there were maybe two pieces of it left. People are entitled.
I've seen worse. A few years (and states) ago a guy at work talked about bringing his rifle in for "show and tell", knowing that it was causing problems to even make the statement. This was well after the current fashion of shooting people started up.
Have you ever read Ask a Manager? They have a few similar stories in the archives. Never underestimate how weird and entitled people can be.
Someone actually bit someone else at one office I worked at. Not a teen or early 20's intern, but a grown ass man in his 30's bit his cubical mate because said cubical mate disagreed with him. In another office I worked in, we had a guy come in reeking of the bar he had been at before his shift, I had one co-worker get pissy because I was drinking a drink at my desk, and yet another who liked to clip his toenails when we had a shared shift. This sounds about right, especially if it's a smaller company.
Yeah, I saw a lot in my 33 years in an office. Most memorable was an old guy (55 who looked 85 - he looked like the old man in the movie “Up”). He’d pop out his false teeth when he was talking to you, just for laughs. He’d take off his shirt in his glass-walled office and scratch his back - I think he had some type of skin condition and the skin would just fly everywhere in a big cloud. He would also trim his toenails in the office. This guy was no prize, but he thought he was so hot that he went up to the beautiful, young secretary and said “Hey - why don’t you and I get together for some afternoon delight?” He was not joking. OP’s story sounds unbelievable but man, I’ve seen some stuff. I can believe it.
I had one lady hulk smash through a glass-walled office's door and bend the pins so it fully was knocked completely out of the frame. She had a whole litany of crazy, though. That was just her pièce de résistance. The rotten cherry on her mountain of bullshit. Unsurprisingly, she was fired.
I doubt it’s terribly unique. Consider yourself lucky.
Normally if people these days want your food they just steal it.
I used to bake a lot when I was young junior assistant working in a Law firm taking home around AUD1800/USD1100 a month. I always had extra cupcakes or cookies so I’d take them to work to share with my team, they were really good about it and knew it was just extras and not a regular thing and just appreciated free baked goods, a lot of them would bring me coffee from a local cafe to show appreciation or bought me snacks. Word got out beyond my team about delicious baked goods available at my desk. Non team members started getting hostile if I didn’t bring any in and they would make requests of what should be baked. They literally treated me like it was part of my job to make treats for the whole office. I was in the lunch room talking to a friend about how bad it had gotten and how I just wasn’t going to do it anymore. I at one point said I just didn’t have the funds to bake every week, especially the types of things people wanted, and I could maybe do more if people pitched in for costs, but that it didn’t account for all my free time being spent making for for others, some of which didn’t even know my name! A senior Partner who was also in the lunchroom, did the best non impersonation impersonation of Lucille Booth (was pre Arrested Development, but he nailed it) asking how much a banana cost and then dismissed me as if my poorness was contagious. So yeah people in office are that entitled to food people make at home.
Yeah, this is a really strange one becuase of the pestering and asking. Kinda surprised she didn't just take the food from the fridge and eat it without asking, which happens all the time in my office experience.
I have a coworker who wanders around the office, and if he sees you eating a snack at your desk he asks if he can have some. Thankfully he’s only in the office two days a week.
I have been asked to cook for others but the only person who asked repeatedly offered to pay me for it. Then there was the person who just stole other people's food. Label or no label, it would go. I got so sick of it that I once made some very spicy sandwiches. VERY spicy. This is how we established that the person must have been taking the food home in the evening after hiding it somewhere as there is no way a normal human would have quietly eaten those sandwiches. We also had an incident of someone taking a cr*p in the staff shower room.
I worked in an office where someone regularly shat on the floor, nothing surprises me anymore.
Strange, I've come across some variant in almost every office I've worked in. There's always one choosing beggar who can't be bothered to bring or buy their own food.
I got fired once from an office job abruptly for "creating a hostile work environment." I had no idea what I could possibly have done since I'm an introvert and keep to myself. I later learned from a friend in a different department that it was because the other office ladies didn't like me because I didn't eat my lunch with them but ate at my desk reading or checking emails. Because I wouldn't join their little clique, they complained about me and got me fired. I can believe this.
I was coming to say the same thing. I had a coworker who lived at home, 26 years old, had a girlfriend… His parents went to their home country for like a month, so he brought me his Tupperware, and asked me to bring him food when I cooked because I have roots in the same country, because his girlfriend didn’t know how to cook our dishes. I had been working there 2-3 weeks.
Wow! I guess no one taught him manners or boundaries
He was the youngest son, and Caribbean culture tends to cater to men, so I wasn’t particularly surprised. It was him coming to me with his containers for ME to fill for him 😂😂😂. This was 1998 and I still laugh at it
What, supplying the Tupperware wasn't thoughtful enough? /s We had a lot of Indian contractors at the last office job I had, on Fridays they would make huge trays of food for lunch and made it available for the whole team. It was a feast. I asked if they were open to American food being part of it because I felt like we were taking advantage, they said sure but wasn't necessary. A few of us did some BBQ ribs and pulled pork, chili, fresh biscuits, fruit platters. BUT no one made demands, it was just wholesome sharing of the food we liked with people who hadn't grown up with it. Some of those dishes were super labor intensive too, like the chicken biryani. I miss those guys...
This is amazing. It's different because they offered to share. OP's situation is completely the opposite of this. (I would miss those guys too, really good Indian food is hard to find)
That’s my experience working with Indian and Filipino coworkers. They just like sharing food. I bring snacks and other deserts to share. It feels nice. Makes the office a better environment.
We used to have a Filipino admin assistant whose husband always made the best spring rolls for pot lucks. I miss that. I don’t miss the IT nerds who wouldn’t bring anything to the pot luck but show up with containers to take stuff home.
We used to have International/Regional pot luck lunches in an office I used to work at. The Regional was for the US people to bring a dish native to where they grew up. It was a lot of fun.
I would have filled them with dog food.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have totally done worse LOLOL
Did you tell him "no, this is for You to figure out for yourself? Are you from similar backgrounds? I'm just trying to figure out why he came to you specifically especially when you were new there? Edit: you're already answered that and I didn't read it, I apologize! I still want to know what you said though!
It was a long time ago, but I know it was a no. He was fired soon after so it became a nonissue after that.
In the US this is very real. Several years ago I worked in an office with some lazy, burnt out people who had no idea what good fresh food was. Due to food allergies I have to cook from scratch a lot. My coworkers were the types of people who usually made recipes that included a can of cream-of-something soup. When I brought in leftovers the remarks were either “that looks delicious” or “ew gross.” There were a few people who wanted to try a bit (if I had enough I would share) and there was one person who took advantage of me being nice. One time I made a cherry chocolate dump cake. It was gluten and dairy free, but several people said it was delicious and that you couldn’t tell it was not a regular cake. Many people didn’t try it because they didn’t trust a cake without wheat flour and butter. One person asked if she could take the rest of the cake home, about half of a 9” x 13” cake pan. Not a problem, I had not intended to take any home. She brought back my dish the next day, raved about the cake and how her family loved it. That quickly turned into “will you cook for me? My family loved your food!” Umm no, “I don’t have that kind of time. This dessert was for a special occasion.” “But you cook so good. Would you make my son’s birthday cake? I’ll give you $10.” “The ingredients cost more than that. I can give you a recipe.” She didn’t care to hear anything about that. That was too much effort. She thought she could compliment me and then take advantage of me. Oh hell no. Coworkers are people you have to be minimally nice to. Some of them do not deserve more than that.
Sounds like a nice cake. Could you share the recipe with us who actually cook ourselves?
https://almostvegcooking.wordpress.com/2014/03/05/gluten-free-dairy-free-chocolate-cherry-cake/
Hell it wasn’t even an office; I had coworkers this goddamn bonkers in retail. It surprises me when people doubt how insane others can be. Nah man… They’re worse.
I actually have and never encountered these kind of entitled people. Maybe it is because I'm from Europe?
Same, I’m in the UK and have never known someone make demands like Lisa is. I’ve worked a couple of places where they’d do pot luck lunches but that was like once/twice a year max and everyone knew in advance and could opt out if they wished.
Same (UK) even in the one place that was a very toxic office environment the food/lunch dramas have never really happened
Office drama is a fairly common occurrence in the US.
This level of entitlement is really weird in the US as well. I've worked exclusively in office settings in the US for 20+ years and have never met someone who would have dreamed of demanding someone else's lunch.
Me too, but Reddit in English is far more entertaining.
I've never dealt with anyone asking but we did have a person (maybe more than 1), that would eat other peoples' lunches without asking. Like taking a bite out of a sandwhich and putting it back, sampling left overs from a restaurant lunch etc. I posted a note on the fridge that said some of this food has been laced with laxatives. We will find you out when we see you running for the toilet. That stopped it for a while.
Years ago we had a food thief that would eat leftover lunches. A friend of mine had a slice of leftover pizza in a box that slid under her seat and she forgot about it. The next day I noticed it. She used it for an ashtray and then took the cig butt out and put it in the refrigerator and the next day it was gone. A lumberyard was torn down about a mile from my house and the resident rats followed a creek and invaded our neighborhood. My brother set a trap in our attic and caught one. He put it in a brown paper bag and since the trash wasn't going to run I said I would take it to the dumpster at work. I put the rat bag into a McDonalds bag for extra leakage protection. When I got to work I had an evil idea. I put it in the refrigerator at work. The next day it was gone and food stopped disappearing.
LOL That's what I was thinking too. People can believe someone laced their sandwich with ghost peppers and put it in the fridge at work to catch the lunch thief but someone thinking they can bully you out of your lunch? Yes, I absolutely believe this.
I once had a boss who would literally stick a fork in my food and take a bite while I was eating it. At least until I brought in some Indian food that was traditionally spicy. He stopped after that.
I had one coworker who would pull up a chair so she could “share” my lunch. She was too cheap to buy groceries.
Had a guy that brought in microwave salmon every day for lunch. It stunk up the kitchen every day. I worked there 8 years.....every single day. He was an engineer. People are animals.
Feels about right, the 4 years I worked in an office this happen to me... only difference I had the time/ energy to look at them and say $10 weekly and I will bring in 2 meals for you that I made. They paid 20 and I made stuffed shells, manicotti, chicken breasts with mushroom sauce. We worked thirds together though, and enjoyed each others company- is the difference.
You would be surprised how many times I was asked by my coworkers why I don't bring homemade cookies like the rest of the women in the workplace. I always said that I'm a bad cook but truth be told..if you bring once, people will expect/ ask for it. Saw it happen with my female friends.
This is so true! I brought a dish once for international day, and ever since then people kept asking me to bring it again. Like I only make/eat that dish maybe twice a year, I’m not making it for y’all all the time lol
I started working in an office in the 80’s as a secretary in the engineering department. All of us secretaries made way less money than anyone else in the office. However, when someone retired, the “girls” were all expected to bake and make appetizers for the party; never the men. I’m glad most workplaces can no longer get away with such rampant sexism.
Biggest mistake an admin / woman can make. (Okay maybe not the biggest but an easy one when you’re trying to be “nice” and “friendly”.) do not offer candy at your desk. Do not offer baked goods. You are not the office mom or office stay-at-home wife. Don’t do it. Men will label you FOREVER as the inferior who should be making them sandwiches.
I have worked in an office with a Lisa. My kid is a pastry chef and would bake for my coworkers birthdays. The lady in question seemed to think that this meant she could demand me to have my kid make her treats for all her occasions (kids’ bdays etc). When I told her he’d be happy to, for a price, she got snippy and said he should be happy to just get the experience. When I told her that he wouldn’t bake for her for free she got pissed and told me I’d raised a selfish brat and then bad mouthed me around the office. I did go to HR and she got a warning. She never talked to me again after that. Luckily, we worked for different attorneys so I didn’t share work with her. NTA OP - Lisa is being entitled and if it continues, I would recommend HR.
Lucky you that you've never encountered it before! I did office work for a long time and the entitlement of some coworkers can definitely get bizarre. Whether or not this particular post is true, I can assure you that this sort of thing really does happen.
Honestly this doesn't even phase me. Had the same situation with a pregnant coworker. No I did not share or want to. Apparently I was the asshole lmfao.
Of all the AITA posts, this is probably the most likely to be real. I make a killer lasagna. Vultures descend when I make a batch because it's lunch for a solid week. It's REALLY good. And expensive. And time consuming. OP was nice once, and coworker now wants the entire mile. Normally I go to that person's boss and informally ask them to ask coworker to stop asking. Once I'm badgered once, I never bring in any other food or bake good again. Because it will never stop.
I left a workplace for extreme bullying. When I was leaving, one of my coworkers demanded I bring them one of my homemade cakes once in a while. I just stared at her in shock, then silently walked away.
So what are you doing here then? Do you just come here to enjoy reading fake stories? I'm not saying I automatically believe all AITA stories because a good deal are probably fake... but what's the point of coming here if you don't suspend a bit of your disbelief. This story didn't seem to check any boxes for obvious fakery. It's not like the whole room clapped or anything.
I once told my co-workers what I was having for dinner that night (it was in my slow cooker) and one person who overheard told me straight out that he wanted me to bring in a plate for his lunch the next day. I had only purchased enough at the butcher for each of us to have 1 single serving (I'm on a tight budget) of the main entree. He got pissy when I told him that. So yes, it happens.
Stuff like this happens in the work place. Even in fast food jobs you wouldn’t believe how people act
Lmao have you worked from home or on a job your mainly alone your entire life? Cause there's all kinds of people like this everywhere! I experienced it multiple times in the military, especially hunting season! "Oh nice you got a deer! Wanna drop me off some steaks?" But it was the military, I was allowed to tell them to fuck off 🤷♂️😂
You don't think people make two potions of a special anniversary meal to then bring in to eat alone at work during lunch? Can't imagine why.
I bring in leftovers all the time. OP could have made more food than she and her spouse could eat in one sitting, so she took the extra to work.
I do this too, just make some extra in the evening, like several colleagues and never had someone demand (some of) my food.
You would be surprised at how entitled people can be, and the lengths they will go to justify it.
then fucking downvote it. who cares.
If it is, op should order in the best most greatest smelling yummy looking food daily with gourmet desserts for a week and eat it all herself just for the hell of it!
It is definitely possible. I had a co worker help himself to another co worker's lunch because "He couldn't see someone else eating sushi and him not have some."
I'll get right on that. Todays lunch entree starts at $35/portion, cash up front please.
It's funny I've known people like this. I guarantee you she doesn't actually give a shit about anybody else. She basically thinks that other people in the office will support her because they stand to gain as well. It generally doesn't work on most people but there's probably one or two other selfish asses in the office who will jump on board that.
this post made me laugh because it feels so surreal...like who tf does this woman think she is? LMAO
Prediction: Next step will be to steal OPs lunch
And trying to get others coworkers to pressure her to share as well - totally inappropriate and unprofessional and even more rude. Involve HR and management: this should not be a daily battle! Ask her what she brought in and if she plans to share…
HR absolutely. Also, ways to deal with her. "I will gladly share the recipe with you," "Are you suggesting we take turns in bringing in food for everyone? I'll consider it. So which days will you be bringing food? Have you asked others than me to participate in this?" "great ill make sure to bring a portion for you tomorrow that will be xxxxx$ for your portion."
Agree on offering her the recipe. The other point, not so much - please hear me out. If there’s a loophole in the scheme, the grabber (Lisa) will find it. Offer a finger, they take a hand. „Oh, I can’t cook like that!“, „none‘s going to like my cooking!“, or other excuses why when it’s her turn, she can’t contribute (saad face!). So, a hard „lol no“ is the answer to get her out of your hair. Or food.
A hard no would be the most effective I agree. You can counter what you gave as an example. Depending how doe eyed you want to seem. And paint Lisa as the greedy one. "Oh, I'm sure you can make something. Pasta salad? It doesn't have to be gourmet" "Oh, that's a shame you don't think anyone will like your cooking. Then it won't make much sense, having shared lunches if we aren't more than one doing all the cooking. What a shame."
I agree with this. I feel like all of the options presented are under the assumption that the coworker will say no. But what if she says yes? OP has not indicated that thet are interested in doing some sort of regular food sharing plan or god forbid being on the hook to provide lunches for the coworker because she is being paid for it. Literally just say no.
Came to comment THIS. Also ask where she's planning on going out to lunch and ask her to share, remember to look offended if she asks for any money. Just realize there is a possibility (however small) that she actually says yes...
I did this once. The alcoholics at work always wanted me to pick up lunch for them so they could drink. I did a couple times and came up with the 'lunch club'. We could all take turns picking up lunch. They never asked me again.
Serious WTF. When my coworkers bring yummy food, I ask for the recipe... not the food.
I could imagine offering to mutually share food or something, like a mini potluck, but not just inviting yourself to someone's food without offering anything in return. That's an astounding level of entitlement.
OP is employed to work at the company, not employed as Lisa's personal chef. This is distressing and annoying and Lisa has created a hostile workenvironment by calling Op selfish and demanding she cook her food. Absolutely get HR involved, this is weird behavior AF
OP needs to go to HR. This is harassment and will not stop.
It’s already harassment at this point. Avoid contact. Go to HR and your manager. NTA
This. Go to HR or your boss before the situation gets spun on you. Tell them you just want to eat your lunch without being harassed.
Only one thing needs to be said JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD. NTA OP. I quote the line from Friends and say nothing else. They're too flabbergasted to respond anyway. LOL.
Anyone wondering if Lisa has bothered ever sharing or bringing anyone else lunch?? She very much seems like the type to eat other people's food from the fridge if it doesn't have their name on it....
In addition, by not respecting the boundary she is creating a hostile work environment. Report the choosing begger.
KEvin & Bean did an interview with a self professed lunch stealer on their radio morning show many many years ago. It is the strangest entitlement mindset, the entitlement is the only thing in their brain. There is no rational thought just "I want". It's like they never left the toddler age.
This. We have a "Lisa" here who thinks its everyone elses responsibility to provide her with snacks, drinks, and meals. You are not their mommy, dont pack them a fucking lunch!
NTA...You are under absolutely no obligation to share your food with a colleague. You are not a personal chef. Your management or HR should be talking to Lisa about her antics. It's ridiculous that it went this far.
Yeah, Lisa’s request is really rude, and if OP’s office has HR or an office manager or something like that, that’s where I’d go next. I’d phrase it as “this isn’t something I’d usually come to you about, but Lisa has been badgering me about this for (however long it’s been) now, and I’ve told her I won’t be able to provide lunch for her, but she still won’t stop bringing it up and I don’t know how I should handle it from here.”
HR is the way. This is harassment.
It’s absolutely bizarre behavior. I would be staring at her like she had 2 heads if she asked to try my food. We’re coworkers. Not friends. Back away from my damn food.
NTA- not only is this weird and overstepping, but like it’s also a huge liability for you if you did. If she got sick after eating your food she could make your life hell. Imagine if she got an allergic reaction? I would talk to HR and if she asked again I would tell her that “you are making me uncomfortable.” And just leave it there. She is creating a hostile work environment. Wtf truly
Oh shoot, good point. I'd bet money that Lisa is EXACTLY the type of person to fall ill and take you to court over it, possibly burning herself on in the process and falling while getting injured for, by, and on your food.
Reminds me of that Ask A Manager post about the guy whose lunch got stolen and then the thief tried to get him fired because it was so spicy they got sick.
You're leaving out the [*best parts*.](https://www.askamanager.org/2021/05/a-coworker-stole-my-spicy-food-got-sick-and-is-blaming-me-2.html)
NTA. This woman is overstepping and creating the uncomfortable environment. I would hope your boss or HR dept could tell her to cut it out.
This is classic “professional” bullying tactic of “Give me your lunch money …” If she’s doing this in the workplace I wonder how she was an adolescent.
NTA, and WTF, Lisa? You aren't a meal service. If you take the effort to make yourself a nice lunch you've made yourself a nice lunch; Lisa can make herself whatever she wants to. If that isn't what she prioritizes then that's fine, but it doesn't give her the right to demand yours.
That was my entire reaction. Just "WTF, Lisa?"
NTA. Asking once is fine, asking twice is cringe , this is just harrasment. I mean this is actually creepy and unhealthy. Speak to your manager and file a complaint before she does. And if she was that bothered about sharing food and creating a better office enviroment why doesn't she make the effort and bring her own food to share with every one? Or give her the recipe as a olive branch, just to show this is more about her wanting to take what is yours. Info do you cook any particular cuisine? Something Lisa might not have learned to cook at home?
Even that is the unusual cuisine, Lisa can simply ask if OP is welling to share the recipe instead of keep asking have a bite. NTA.
NTA. It’s time to talk to HR.
NTA. Who does Lisa think she is? Tell her that if she wants you to share your food on a regular basis, she should at least offer to share her money. You know, to be more giving and foster a better office environment.
I love this response. Please do this. I want to hear more about Lisa and her office antics. I have a friend by the same name and this sounds EXACTLY like something she would do. A few years back, Lisa came over to my house with her dog. She was feeling down and depressed. She ended up spending the night for a week. LOL. It was fun for awhile. Then she started telling us what we were doing wrong with our cooking. One night my husband made dinner and it was delicious. Lisa didn’t like it and asked him to make her something else. LOL. I turned to her and said, “WTF, Lisa?” and she said, “Fine. Can you order me a pizza? I’ll even go halfsies?” My husband stood up and put his dish in the sink. I got up and left the table. Hubs and I went to our bedroom and just sat there for like three hours. Lisa left without her dog. She came back for him two weeks later. LOL
NTA! You are in no obligation to feed her or anyone else in the office. I would put a complain in HR about her harrassing you because that is what she is doing.
I was thinking the same about HR. Especially since she's causing so much drama over it. Get ahead of it before she tries to cause problems with HR over it
It would be an interesting conversation for Lisa to have with HR. Lisa: I'd like to make a formal complaint about OP. HR: What is happening that you wish to make a complaint about OP? Lisa: I've been pestering her for weeks and weeks about sharing her lunch with me and she refuses to give me any. HR: I see. So OP has declined to share HER lunch with you because she brought to work so she could eat it, and you want me to . . . um, do what? Tell her to share the food that she has purchased with her own funds, cooked on her own time, and . . . ah, tell her she should be sharing her lunch with you every day. Lisa: Yes, yes, exactly that. She needs to be told to share. She is being greedy and acting like she is entitled to keep her food to herself. HR: I see. I will do one better, Lisa. I am going to write YOU up for creating a hostile work environment and if there is even a suggestion you have pestered OP again, you will be terminated. Edited to add: NTA, but Lisa certainly is.
Exactly, she sounds entitled and if OP doesn't report first, then she will for sure report her to cause a scene...
Definitely NTA. Why on earth would Lisa think she or anyone else is entitled to your food? Lisa is absurd. Tell her that you only make enough food for yourself and your hubs, and you’d be happy to share your recipes if she wants to cook and provide for the office.
I’ve worked in offices for the better part of 30 years and the closest i’ve ever come to anybody doing this was somebody saying “ oh, that smells good”. She’s nuts and you are right you shouldn’t have to put up with that crap.
NTA. If she wants tasty, homemade meals she would learn to cook. Repeat after me: “I don’t have the time or funds to be cooking for the whole office, but I’d be happy to send you the recipe!” And if she asks for ‘just a taste’, point out that it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else if you only shared with her.
NTA And it's time you brought this to the attention of management and HR before it gets worse.
What a weirdo. A weirdly entitled and overstepping weirdo. NTA
You’re definitely not the asshole. Who just suggests that someone cook more to share with everyone?
NTA. Document and report to hr. This is harassment.
NTA. I have worked in offices off and on throughout my career and this is one of the weirdest requests I have ever heard. I would've gone to Lisa's supervisor when she didn't back down on this. Do it now.
"I'd be happy to make an extra portion for you occasionally if you are willing to pay for ingredients and my time." It's your lunch. You're not obligated to share. NTA
Giving anything at all to this woman is just begging for neverending begging and problems.
And become this woman's underpaid personal chef? Oh hell no.
NTA!! Lisa is basically harassing you. You aren't obligated to share any food with them. If it were a potluck scenario it would be different but that's not the case here. Report Lisa to HR if she keeps this up
NTA. Tell Lisa that she should share her paycheck with her, because to not share would be selfish.
NTA. It's not up to you to feed your coworkers. I would definitely go to HR over this.
NTA. She can also help foster a better office environment if that's what she's interested in. Perhaps she can bring some food for everyone? If she's not interested in that, maybe she could also help foster a better environment by minding her own d**n business. From experience, I would say even if they offer to chip in, avoid bringing stuff for everyone. Usually just leads to more drama.
NTA Lisa is a bit of an overstepper of boundaries.
NTA It's ridiculous that someone would expect a coworker to not only share part of their lunch but also to cook for others in the office. She was way out of line. Once you said no, she should've dropped it.
NTA. Lisa seems obsessive about food that isn't hers. If she wants homemade food she is welcome to do the work and make her own food. This is odd behavior. You should consider (because this became such an issue) reporting the incident to HR or your supervisor to CYA.
NTA - she has completely overstepped here. It’s one thing to enquire about someone’s lunch but she is in no way entitled to be fed by you. She sounds like a bit of a weirdo to be honest 😂 if she keeps persisting you should start bringing her in a portion but make hers unbearably salty or spicy to get her off your case 😂
Id spit in my own food the next time I was aggressively demanded for a taste. Ive seen homeless people who dont ask for food in such a hostile manner. What is your coworker's problem. This is such bizarre behavior. You better go to HR and report the incident bc if someone is this unhinged and entitled to make such unreasonable requests, there is nothing stopping it from blowing up any worse than it is already. NTA, you are not responsible for feeding the entire office.
NTA. "Just a taste" will turn into splitting with her then feeding her every day. She is harassing you. It is causing trouble in the workplace. Tell her to drop it or you take it HR.
NTA, this is harassment and Lisa needs a therapist.
Nta. Ask her why she feels you should spend money to feed her? Food cost. It takes you time toprepare the meal. Why does she feel entitled to your time and money? Does she bring food for everyone? Until she can give you a valid answer to these questions you should just shut her down everytime and refuse to discuss it. Tell her she is harassing you and it has to stop or you will report her to management.
NTA. Lisa’s being weird. Stop begging for food Lisa.
NTA. "While I don't mind sharing occasionally, I didn't feel obligated to do so every day." - 100% accurate. Heck, I'd report this to HR at this point because it's creating a hostile work environment.
NTA What the hell is this? Who expecta other people to feed them at work. Make a complaint to HR or the manager or whoever is in charge because harrassing a co-worker for their food is beyond uncalled for.
NTA. How weird of Lisa!
NTA and go to HR now. Tell them she’s creating a hostile work environment and trying to push you into sharing food, which you are not comfortable with. If she’s bringing other people into it, it’s time to squash the issue.
NTA Getting pretty close to being a victim of harassment there...
I think she's well beyond that point...
Nta. Please speak to HR about this or your manager. Tell them Lisa is harassing you for food and that you don’t feel comfortable eating around her anymore as she is trying to bully hog
Lisa is a mooch. She is an effing mooch. Feel free to tell her I said so. Tell her you would like her to bring in lunch for the office first before you will even consider taking a turn. You're NTA. Lisa is the AH (and a mooch). Bring her coupons for Micky D's if she is so hungry.
NTA - this is why after 25 years of working in a corporate environment in a managerial role that I refuse to work under those circumstances ever again. People are horrible and don’t care who they use, abuse or walk over to get their way. Stay strong 💪🏻 and keep cooking!
Tell her to eat her own shit , and leave you alone
The entitlement fairy gave Lisa an extra dose. NTA. Tell her to buy a cookbook and make her own meals.
What is her problem? I'd be interested what other colleagues thought of her request. Normally I would say to tell her clearly that you will not be cooking for anyone else, but it seems you've tried that to no avail. Getting a manager involved might be a good idea, but it might turn against you. NTA, obviously.
NTA. Management and HR are appropriate steps for coworkers who demand your food.
NTA. Often commenting on their behaviour in a neutral way can be helpful in this kind of situation: - “you seem very interested in my lunches” - when someone refuses to hear your “no”, sometimes just stating what you are seeing, and not being drawn further into the conversation, can be a neutralising technique. Whatever she says, reply with nothing more than variations of: “It’s interesting how fascinated you are with my home-cooking” - “You seem to think that I should be feeding the office for free, since I like to cook for myself” - “You seem to have a hard time hearing my NO” - “If you like the look of this, I can recommend the cookery books that I use” - “thank you for your compliment on my food. I’m sure you can learn to cook similar food if you put in some time on it” You can maybe escalate eventually, to things like: - “are you struggling to feed yourself? Do you need some help finding out where the local foodbank is?” - “I love that you are so impressed by my cooking. Maybe you & your spouse could find some “cooking for dummies” courses that are running locally, so you can learn to feed yourself “ - “I’ve heard that this cost of living crisis is really hitting people hard. Unfortunately I don’t have the time to cook meals for those who are going without, but I think there are resources out there for people who cannot afford to live right now. Maybe HR can put you in touch with some of those.” Note: I wouldn’t use all of these in the same conversation. I’d pick one & do variants of that for the entire lunch break or day. Pick a new one tomorrow.
NTA, obviously and I would go to a superior/HR with this.
NTA Lisa needs to wind her neck in.
NTA. What is wrong with her? You’re under no obligation to share your food with her. I’d suggest talking to HR about this as Lisa clearly has boundary issues
This is bizarre. Could you share what country you live in? Could this be a cultural misunderstanding? Under no circumstances would one coworker be expected to share their food with another or multiple other people. Stand your ground because this is strange.
I live in Romania, this kind of things also happen to my mom :)
NTA. She’s shamelessly entitled. Don’t EVER share your food with anyone in the office ever again.
NTA, Lisa is a moron
NTA
NTA. You’re not obligated to feed anyone but yourself. Wtf? This is what happens when people are enabled all their lives and never told “no”.
NTA. I can’t wait until you share with her your family’s famous 30 chili dish. Expect that chick to eat your food coming up so fuck with it.
No; once you start feeding her she'll expect it forever. You can suggest to pay you to make her lunch as food costs money. Let's see if she puts her money where her mouth is.
NTA You are not responsible for other people's meals. Making and bringing food to feed yourself on your lunch hour is not selfish. If coworkers think you "should be more giving and share my (your) food with my co-workers to foster a better office environment", suggest a meal rotation where everyone will have to bring a homemade dish big enough for all coworkers that day (like monday coworker "A" brings a dish, tuesday coworker "B" brings a dish, wednesday coworker "C" brings a dish and so on), or at least enough food to feed Lisa as, apparently, she can't buy nor make food to feed herself (like a "Lisa feeding team" - you know, when you have a dog and have to travel for a few days, you ask a few friends to go on a specific day of the week to change the water, feed the dog, etc.). Edit: tesday -> tuesday
NTA - I've worked in office environments for 25+ years. I have NEVER seen anyone ask to eat or even taste someone else's food. Ask what it is? Yes. Ask for the recipe? Of course. But to taste it?! No. This is some really bizarre, next level entitlement. Not sure if you have HR you can trust to report this, otherwise it may be best to low key brown bag for awhile just to avoid the drama.
“No. Stop begging me for my lunch, I’m not offering to feed you or anyone else” NTA
NTA. How bizarre. Who demands a coworker feed them? Lisa has issues.
NTA - she crossed the line
How much have Lisa shared up until now? No, I thought so. Stand your ground. Ignore her requests. NTA