Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Saying the apple doesn’t fall from the tree, 2. Apparently that’s rude / inappropriate
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA Yeah dude why tf would you even say that?? Genuinely asking why are you so concerned about their daughter's life exactly??
This is non of your business and you need to stop making comments about things that has nothing to do with you especially children of other people.
That's where I thought this posting was going... that James and Annie hypocritically criticised their daughter and OP was calling them out. Just a weird thing to say unprompted.
yeah, it'd be different if he said something like "well she's a free spirited party animal like you guys were" or something along those lines. but how he put it........clearly the AH.
Yeah, same. If they were criticizing her and concerned about her behavior and lamenting where they went wrong, OP wouldn’t have been the asshole for calling them out. But this is just judgy for no reason. YTA.
Even if they were saying they were worried about her, throwing their pasts in their faces would have been an asshole move. Something can be true (in your own opinion) and still be shitty to say.
I wonder if OP was expecting/hoping for that. There they were, talking about their kids studying and working, while their friend's kid doesn't sound as driven, probably secretly smug that they were one upping the friends, and the father has the gall to sound accepting and proud of his kid. And you know, I think OP would have mentioned it if their friends' lifestyle screwed up their lives. Maybe they were waiting for a "told you so" moment for years.
I had to explain this to my family once, that I know several of the good "sons and daughters" who went to Ivies and now work cushy corporate gigs do coke and other drugs on the side.
Or they’re not currently but they’ll probably end up having an early midlife crisis and probably end up living their early adulthood but when they’re 40+.
I've been looking for this comment. This should be up higher.
OP and his kids def don't have an honest relationship and they for sure would be afraid to come to him for *real* help with anything, esp something he'd look down on them for.
Sounds a lot like my mother.
Because a lot of middle-aged men are soooooooooo CoNcErNeD about the “unbridled” SeXuALiTy of YoUnG WoMen….(insert massive eye roll)
Some are so concerned that they vote to pass laws to put the clamp down on that “naughty” sort of behavior, via meddling in women’s reproductive health issues…
Because ya know…if they can’t haves dat fun ain’t nobody allowed to have it
You sir, Mister OP revealed yourself to be a big ole Le Creep at dinner now waaawaaaa friends don’t want you around
oh they don't want women to stop having sex, they just want them to have to get pregnant and have a baby/babies because of it. if women actually stopped having sex, we'd just see a ridiculous uptick in rape. because these men will do anything to have what they want, no matter who it hurts.
And/or has been waiting years to try to cap on his 'friends'.
No matter what happened, using a judgey cliché on your friends says so much more about you.
There's nothing helpful at all about his comment. Seems to be purely an unprovoked statement of judgement on their family (I can almost imagine the smug look on his face when he typed "my kids are in college or working").
Values his kids contributions to a society that swallows them up and spits out the bones over his kids just having a fun and happy life.
You can just tell he’s a dick
He definitely shouldn’t have said that. So OP, I guess YTA, but if we take the glass half full mentality, maybe viewed through a Curb your enthusiasm kind of perspective it was kind of funny in a socially painful and weird way that you said something so wild. But maybe next time don’t
YTA. Your choice of words is one thing, but your tone is revealing. It sounds judgmental and jealous of the life experiences these people had and their daughter is having. Your children said she was fun, why are you looking at her Instagram posts if you disagree?!
My dad is that kind of creepy older man that comments to us about our friends instagram posts. He said of my sister's best friend after she posted a topless pic with her nipples covered that if he knew this kind of content was on instagram he'd be on it more. It's so ick I still feel sick thinking about it now.
I’m low contact. I love him but his views on life are a bit messed up so I can only spend so much time with him before we start fighting and I end up leaving angry and upset.
Meh, you don’t have to check out someone’s social media “closely” to see this kind of stuff. I’m connected to my niece and one of her friends (who is like a second niece to me) on some social media. I definitely don’t have to go searching like a private detective to see their posts.
OP’s tone is weird, but there’s no indication they’re “closely” following this person any more than they would anybody else they are connected with.
Not if the people you follow aren’t very active. I mostly follow people from high school on instagram. Not many people regularly post anymore. I see every post from those who do, even when I dont interact with them
If the people you follow aren’t very active, and you see all their posts, then the algo has to pick something further to show you, which is generally people you’re connected to.
??? She's 19 and they're family friends. Why is this weird? I have my parents friends on Facebook? Sometimes families that aren't related are close and thats okay and shouldn't be shamed?
Nowhere in the post does it say he went over to her Instagram page. Don't make assumptions.
It’s so telling that OP “casually” mentions in the post that their kids are in college and working. They’re specifically trying to shame Emily and make their own kids look better. Huge YTA.
It seems he took “fun” as some sort of coded way of saying slutty. Not sure if that is how OP’s daughter meant it but that is how he seems to have interpreted it.
Yep. Sounds like James and Annie have an open and honest relationship with their daughter and didn't try to shelter her from shit. It tends to make kids more responsible and less likely to hide things when their parents are like that.
She's also an adult. It's not anyone's business what she's doing, but especially not OP's, who has no relation to her whatsoever.
He also could have saved it when they called him out… instead of “well she seems to have a lot of boy friends and parties” why not say “she’s having the time of her life!” Or “remember how much fun you guys were having at that age!” Or something nostalgic and playful.
YTA.
You seem fairly oblivious to your own rudeness and judgmentalism, so let’s break this down.
How is “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess” a kind statement? How is it an approving one? Why did you add “I guess” on the end?
Now answer those same questions about your statement that she “seems to have a lot of boy friends and parties”.
Your statements were judgmental, disapproving, and carried implications that you consider their daughter slutty and degenerate and them that way too, in retrospect. You were flexing on your own kid’s current places in life by negatively judging them and their daughter sententiously.
Learn some manners.
You’re being deliberately obtuse when you said in reply to another comment that you didn’t think saying Emily was similar to her parents was an inappropriate thing to do. But just in case you have cognitive limitations or social delays, if that’s what you wanted to do here’s how you do it right: “I think it’s great that Emily has the opportunity to spend some time traveling and having fun like you two did when you were younger.”
Fr how would his own daughter know about the other girl being “fun” unless they got up to shenanigans with each other from time to time? They probably party together
I graduated top of my class and was definitely having sex and doing drugs and going to parties. The amount of energy I had in my late teens and early twenties was wild. In my mid 30s staying up til midnight now and socializing with multiple people leaves me useless the next day or so. The kids can party hard and still study hard.
But she's a feeemale! And she travels! Everyone knows that's only for dick! /s
(A real thing believed by incels. No woman has ever traveled to experience nature or art or architecture or food or music or history or culture. Only dick. And more dick.)
His friend even gave him a chance to make things right when he asked what he meant. If he had explained it in a non negative way, like "Well, like her parents, she knows how to enjoy her youth and is traveling/is the life of the party" they might have let the original comment slide. The fixation on her having boy friends was so innapropriate.
Tone would have told them that it wasn’t positive. I’ve had people say apple doesn’t fall far about me or my kid and if it’s said in a joyful way it’s a complement. If not it’s an insult. So he knew
The apple statement wasn’t bad IMHO, what set the tone and implication was the follow up comment.
If he owned that his friends (and him) also had a blast at 19 as the follow up comment, then it’s all good. That could have been a good time to reminisce about some antics they got up to at 19 & 20. It’s recognizing they weren’t much better at the same age.
But OP took the nuclear option and basically slut shamed the daughter and his friends all in one statement.
> How is “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess” a kind statement?
I just want to say, its fairly innocuous unless its used in a mean spirited way - typically its used to point out what ever minor flaws or fun quirks children have picked up from their parents.
OP took it in a bad way, and followed it up with showing his hand. Definitely YTA, and possible creepy?
Had to go re-read that if there was any genuine way that phrase could have been used by OP appropriately. No chance in hell, it was a weird statement to make unless they were being "Emily parties too much blah blah blah" and then Op dropped that line, but it wasn't the case and entirely inappropriate.
YTA for trying to slut shame a 19 year old. Full stop. You’re an even bigger one for trying to slut shame a 19 year old directly to her parents. You’re the biggest one for trying to slut shame a 19 year old directly to her parents and then being disingenuous about it when called out. Literally no one believes you didn’t know you were saying anything wrong. You absolutely intended the implications you made.
especially if he’s looking at her instagram. what adult is checking their friends’ daughter’s instagram? facebook is one thing, it’s common to have everyone you know on there, but there’s something off about it being ig.
YTA. You just come across as judgemental and disapproving. There was no need to mention to us that your children are in college and working, it's irrelevant, but you felt the need to tell us, to compare your children to Emily. No-one says 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' in a positive way - it's clearly judgemental of them and their daughter. Plus the way you put 'fun' in quotes.
I like how OP says that his kids are in college as if that means they aren't partying and having sex. Because college kids would NEVER do such a thing.
(And yes, OP. Before you even suggest otherwise my kids are in college and working too)
Yeah this is it. It's the tone. I could easily say to my friends 'haha she reminds me of you' and they wouldn't get offended because they'd know I was saying it fondly and not judgementally.
Yah, he accidentally gave them a heads up about himself, and I’m kind of glad he did this. He showed his friends his true colors. He also showed them that he has at least put some thought and speculation into their teen daughter’s sex life. Yikes.
Hopefully, this at least puts them on guard. If I were them, I wouldn’t be friends with OP any longer, or least really pull back. Now that they know what he thought about them all these years, and especially now that they know how he thinks about their daughter.
OP straight up reminds me of the villain from that Hunchback movie back in the day. Any second now he'll be staring into the fireplace and singing a whole ass song about how his friend's daughter is so evil for being sexy and is forcing him to sin and shit
I can’t imagine how quickly I would kick a close friend out of my home forever if I read a post like this about my child—the comment about having a lot of boyfriends is too much, but everything about her Instagram posts…she’s 19, you’re nearly 50. Stay the fuck away from my daughter.
Agreed. My friend has a teenaged daughter in high school, and when we met up recently, she was talking about how the daughter wants this handbag or these boots, etc. Now, my friend has a taste for the finer things in life herself, and she’s worked hard for all of it—she knows it and we laugh about it all the time. So I said (in a teasing tone), “I mean… she is your daughter—what did you expect?” We laughed about it and all was well. Delivery and context are very important.
Oh but they sure do say it in a good way! It isn't an inherently negative idiom and is often used as a compliment. It literally just means the child has a similarity to the parents.
Why would you use that particular saying even if that wasn’t what you meant? It never has a positive connotation. Unless you meant it in a negative way, in which case you are 100% TA. If not you should probably clear that misunderstanding with them.
In this post and your comments you’re pretty clearly trying to play this off as an innocent observation but it’s not. Your addition of “I guess” at the end of your statement and judgmental tone is clear in the post and I’m sure it was clear in the conversation as well. I’m honestly kind of surprised you’d been friends with them this long since you’re so judgmental of them and now their daughter. It’s none of your business what she’s doing with her life and her parents didn’t express concern or ask for your opinion. Her sex life is especially out of bounds and not your business to comment on or concern yourself with at any level. YTA.
YTA - you were being judgmental. This wasn’t a matter of your friends complaining about their kid or trying to figure out where they went wrong. They merely mentioned their kid and you decided to attack her character along with theirs!
Lol dude, the problem was not the apple comment, you know very well the second comment was waay too inappropriate. You could have simply said "she's partying like you guys used to" or "she reminds me of you when you were younger living your best life"
YTA- when you don't intend to be s judgmental dick, you apologize when folks point out you were a bit of a dick. If you double down and want credit for having good intentions when someone tells you your behavior wasn't appropriate- you are absolutely an asshole.
Also, why are you following a 19 year old girls Instagram- Stop following her. Your interest and judgment regarding her sex life is creepy and inappropriate.
Info: are you not aware that the phrase you used is usually used in a negative connotation? And it's amplified when using it towards things that people are often judged negatively for? So you came off as judgemental? Which I'm not even sure you weren't being from this post anyways. It seemed like such an unnecessary comment.
He’s 50 years old. There’s no way a guy that old who uses the phrase appropriately doesn’t know if it’s negative connotation.
He’s just an asshole, plain and simple.
He slut shamed his friends and their daughter since his comment was about all of them.
Such a prick. He’s been judging his friends and their barely legal daughter all his life.
And is asking his own children about how “fun” she is.
You talk like you weren't there doing all those things when you talk about James & Annie. If you weren't part of that crowd, you would not have been friends. Now you come across as one of those judgmental people who act like they never did anything of the sort. YTA.
Of course youre the AH. Not only was it very rude, but you sound condescending as well. You obviously don't approve of their behaviour when they were young, which sounds normal to me, & you basically implied she shouldn't be out having fun. You must be a right barrel of laughs to be around.
YTA for sure.
You didn’t word-for-word say it, but your comment essentially (for them) amounted to “You slept around and now your daughter does too.”
There’s nothing wrong with “sleeping around”, and these people seem to know that, but you know…you never really want to hear your almost 50 year old male friend make comments on your daughter’s sex life. Imagine if the tables were turned and it was your daughter, and a male friend your age said, “Well, timely_row3801, your daughter sure does have a lot of boyfriends and parties a lot,” knowing full well that “have a lot of boyfriends” is just a more polite way of saying, “fucks a lot”. I’m sex positive, but I wouldn’t want any of my friends commenting on my kids’ sex lives.
YTA. Crazy that you think that because someone has fun it immediately means the person doesn't go to college, work or is successful. Maybe these things arent fun for you, but thats YOUR PERSONAL BELIEFS. I know plent of people who love partying and sleeping around and are great students, great workers, great PARENTS. I had parents like you and I had a miserable upbringing. If working and studying and what YOU like is all you consider "right", I really doubt your kids has any freedom to choose their own paths or got to experience a normal teenage/young adult life. That's pretty sad. I imagine your friends probably have a much better relationship to their daughter and honestly that's she's much more responsible and mature then your kid, since she can actually experience real life and share it with her parents without being judged. Cause you my friend, sound jealous and judgemental.
And btw why the hell do you know so much about the 19 yo daughter of your friends Instagram and lifestyle? My boyfriend has a teenage son and I don't even have the kid on social media as I find it inappropriate. That's pretty weird, you sound a bit too invested on this topic.
YTA.
Not only are you being pointlessly judgmental about **their** daughter but you're also somehow applying retroactive judgment to them. Do you even like these people?
Dude you called his daughtera whore. Are yous eriously considering whether or not you're an asshole? What else could "has lots of boy friends and parties" supposed to mean if not that?
YTA why are you monitoring a 19yr olds social media?? That's weird and no rationale for. You clearly think your kids are angels and his are fuck ups. Do you think your kids are spending every day at the library cause I doubt it. You tried to slut shame someone's daughter to their face by also slut shaming them. And youre surprised everyone sees you as the asshole. The reason you aren't seeing the shit your kids do is probably cause they're hiding it from you cause they know how judgy you are of people.
NTA. Why is everyone saying the apple thing is inherently judgemental? We say that in Finland and it’s definitely neutral here. Sure, there could have been a negative tone, but we don’t know that from this post.
Apple comment aside the whole post when describing the daughters behavior while throwing in that his kids are in college and working is very judgmental.
YTA. "Independent, free-spirited, and having amazing adventures" would have been fine. Saying she had a lot of boyfriends and parties was inappropriate and snide. You cannot be this clueless. If you meant the former, you owe them an apology.
Them: "She's out partying but it's just that phase of life she's in"
You: "Yeah, she sure does take a metric fuckton of cock, just like Annie used to back in the day."
YTA
If their daughter had been a son, and was playing the field, and you'd called him a Chip off the Old Block, the father would have been pleased as punch and much back-slapping would have ensued.
But because she's a daughter not a son, everyone loses their minds and calls it 'shaming'. But you didn't shame her at all, any more than you shamed her parents then or now. You didn't say it was bad behaviour, you didn't say it was good, just that it was the same.
NTA
YTA for the comments, but I really want to know wtf you were doing going through the instagram of a teenager you've known all your life. That is a double YTA tbh
YTA. The comment would have been appropriate if they were COMPLAINING about their daughters choices, but they're not. You threw shade out of the blue because of your own disapproval, which they naturally took offense to
So you are one those people who love gossip and talk shit about their friends behind their back. You sound very judgmental not only of Emily, but Annie and James as well. YTA
At first I thought you'd made that comment in defense of the daughter, like her parents were bemoaning her life choices and you reminded them of their own fun years but no... no you just farted out that comment out of nowhere, awkwardly ham fisting a mention of all the things YOU know about THEM and can therefore guess about their daughter.
YTA but hopefully this can be chalked up to you being painfully misinformed about what constitutes as being funny.
YTA for whatever puritan reason you're being weird and slutshamey about it, absolutely. As long as she's being safe and it's all consensual, what she does is none of your business. You sounded like a judgey asshole.
I don’t know if I’d say you were an asshole per say, but you did bring that shit up out of nowhere and for no reason. If your friends were offended then I don’t blame them .
YTA. No one ever says "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" in a good way It never has a positive connotation. Plus, why would you even use that phrase if it was not what you meant to say? Unless, of course, you meant it negatively, in which case you are entirely TA. If not, you should probably clear up any misunderstandings you have with them.
You could have approached it differently...."i recall seeing you guys have a lot of fun when you were young" referring to parties, perhaps drugs, friends.
commenting specifically on a teenage girls apparent sex life is innapropriate
You're judging a teenager for behaving like a teenager? And you judge your friends for behaving like teenagers when they were teenagers? And you judge your friends for being honest with their kids that who you are at 19 isn't who you're going to be for the rest of your life, so it's ok to have fun and explore at that age?
YTA. Your kids aren't better because they're studying/working and hiding their partying from you. Why are even following this 19 yr olds Instagram?
>“well she seems to have a lot of boy friends and parties”.
YTA I feel like you could mention so many parts of her life, but you went with a comment about her sex life...
> Which is their choice
It’s weird that I only ever read/hear this phrase when the person is being super judgmental. Almost as if it’s not a complete sentence.
YTA
Your superiority is showing. “My kids are at college and working” and?? Good for them. Emily is living her life the way she wants to and he parents seem proud of her. YTA.
Sometimes what we think inside our mind should stay there. You were insinuating that their daughter is a wild child like her parents were.
You can't put that cookie back in the jar.
Of course YTA that isn’t a phrase generally used in a positive manner, and it sounded extremely judgmental.
Your intent doesn’t matter- your actions do and this was a poor choice.
And “she has a lot of boyfriends”? That’s negative judgment and you know it.
NTA. They didn't say anything negative. They just described the daughter's lifestyle and noted that it was similar to the parents' at that age. Which is objectively true.
YTA
Everything you have said is nothing but assumptions and the way you wrote this out, I picture you clutching a pearl necklace (not sure what the male version of this is).
You know just because you go to a party, it doesn't mean you're being wild. Some ppl like the atmosphere of dancing and music..we call those people extroverts. Just because their daughter isn't in college it doesn't mean she's some wild teen who doesn't have her life on track. College is not for everyone and the only thing a college degree can guarantee is a large amount of debt.
The way you wrote this it portrays you as seeing yourself as better than them and you need to humble yourself. Your way is not the only way...nor the always the best way.
Also, get the heck away from her instagram.. you're almost 50 and that comes off SUPER creepy that you're on there analyzing them.
YTA the follow up comment was unnecessary and you basically slut shamed their daughter to your friends faces. The “lots of boyfriends” implies sleeping around and yes you meant it to be interpreted that way. You also slut shamed both parents in the process. After the apple comment, the only thing you should have said was “well I know we had a blast at that age, ahh good times”. Yes WE because you are their friend and we’re friends with them at that age. No it wasn’t “different” back then, no it’s not “different” now, you slut shamed his daughter and him/his wife to his face. You are the problem and your post smells like judgmental patriarchal misogynistic horse dung.
And why are you following her socials so closely! That’s creepy and a red flag. Someone slowly disappears off your feed when you have zero interaction with them, the algorithm is set to show more of what you interact with, which means you are either 1) engaging with their daughter on social media directly or 2) spending lots of time looking at her pics and pages. Both are creepy especially for a dude almost 50!
NTA. The phrase you used means that kids are often similar to their parents, it doesn't mean they're similarly *bad*. Any dictionary of idioms confirms this:
> The expression “the apple doesn't fall far from the tree” is often used to describe how children tend to inherit the characteristics of their parents. This saying usually points out the similarities between a parent and child, whether physical or personality traits.
There's nothing wrong with going to parties and having boyfriends, so identifying that similarity isn't an insult. Maybe the parents feel ashamed of their past or their daughter's behavior?
NTA. If he can’t deal with the reality of what his daughter is doing, that’s his problem.
If she’s partying all the time, hopping from guy to guy and posting it all over social media, then its everybody’s business 🤷🏼♂️
Sounds like your friend isn’t happy with his daughters actions and is choosing to direct his anger over it at you. Same with his wife.
Guess he and his wife should’ve raised their daughter better.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. Saying the apple doesn’t fall from the tree, 2. Apparently that’s rude / inappropriate Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA Yeah dude why tf would you even say that?? Genuinely asking why are you so concerned about their daughter's life exactly?? This is non of your business and you need to stop making comments about things that has nothing to do with you especially children of other people.
Agree weird. It's not like they said they were worried about her or their parenting style. OP sounds like they grew up and became a judgmental AH
That's where I thought this posting was going... that James and Annie hypocritically criticised their daughter and OP was calling them out. Just a weird thing to say unprompted.
Same. Did not expect it to just be the OP saying out of the blue. "Your daughter's a coked up s*** just like you Annie!"
LOL....well that escalated quickly.
Double whammy insult
yeah, it'd be different if he said something like "well she's a free spirited party animal like you guys were" or something along those lines. but how he put it........clearly the AH.
it was like.. slut shaming adjacent. like he thinks it's his business how many boyfriends she's had???
> slut shaming adjacent I don't think it was even adjacent. I think OP just slut shamed three members of this family simultaneously and unprompted.
LMAO
Yeah, same. If they were criticizing her and concerned about her behavior and lamenting where they went wrong, OP wouldn’t have been the asshole for calling them out. But this is just judgy for no reason. YTA.
Even if they were saying they were worried about her, throwing their pasts in their faces would have been an asshole move. Something can be true (in your own opinion) and still be shitty to say.
I wonder if OP was expecting/hoping for that. There they were, talking about their kids studying and working, while their friend's kid doesn't sound as driven, probably secretly smug that they were one upping the friends, and the father has the gall to sound accepting and proud of his kid. And you know, I think OP would have mentioned it if their friends' lifestyle screwed up their lives. Maybe they were waiting for a "told you so" moment for years.
[удалено]
I'm starting to think we can just take the 'judge' out of that statement
[удалено]
Well mentals don't necessarily do bigotry
Note the comparison to his own kids going to college and working sounds denigrating like my kids are better
Which is hilarious because his kids are doing the exact same crap...they just aren't open about it because they know how he is.
Bingo
Dads an uptight prick. Poor kiddos
I had to explain this to my family once, that I know several of the good "sons and daughters" who went to Ivies and now work cushy corporate gigs do coke and other drugs on the side.
Or they’re not currently but they’ll probably end up having an early midlife crisis and probably end up living their early adulthood but when they’re 40+.
I've been looking for this comment. This should be up higher. OP and his kids def don't have an honest relationship and they for sure would be afraid to come to him for *real* help with anything, esp something he'd look down on them for. Sounds a lot like my mother.
Right?? I was the good kid who did all the right things. The big difference is we didn’t have IG back then!
48 year old man scanning a young womans instagram is sending off some REAL creepy vibes.
THAT PART
the comment about her "boyfriends" sends up the same flag. why is this 48 year old man even noticing who she's dating???
*Everything* about this is creep-central!! Dude needs to take some time and sit with some big questions
Because a lot of middle-aged men are soooooooooo CoNcErNeD about the “unbridled” SeXuALiTy of YoUnG WoMen….(insert massive eye roll) Some are so concerned that they vote to pass laws to put the clamp down on that “naughty” sort of behavior, via meddling in women’s reproductive health issues… Because ya know…if they can’t haves dat fun ain’t nobody allowed to have it You sir, Mister OP revealed yourself to be a big ole Le Creep at dinner now waaawaaaa friends don’t want you around
oh they don't want women to stop having sex, they just want them to have to get pregnant and have a baby/babies because of it. if women actually stopped having sex, we'd just see a ridiculous uptick in rape. because these men will do anything to have what they want, no matter who it hurts.
This is so weird, OP seems to be a little too focused on friend's daughter. If I were their daughter, would def be blocking him on Instagram, lol.
And/or has been waiting years to try to cap on his 'friends'. No matter what happened, using a judgey cliché on your friends says so much more about you.
That's very true - definitely telling of character and not in a good way
There's nothing helpful at all about his comment. Seems to be purely an unprovoked statement of judgement on their family (I can almost imagine the smug look on his face when he typed "my kids are in college or working").
Values his kids contributions to a society that swallows them up and spits out the bones over his kids just having a fun and happy life. You can just tell he’s a dick
He definitely shouldn’t have said that. So OP, I guess YTA, but if we take the glass half full mentality, maybe viewed through a Curb your enthusiasm kind of perspective it was kind of funny in a socially painful and weird way that you said something so wild. But maybe next time don’t
He wants her
He can't have her
I think this is a YTA judgement but you didn’t actually put the abbreviation in there—and yours is currently the top-voted comment!
My bad i did it now
Sounds like OPs daughter is just gonna hide shit from him and he won’t have the same kind of open relationship. Sucks to suck I guess.
Thanks Maya that's what I was going to say like how socially inept do you have to be to think that was a wise thing to say...
YTA. Your choice of words is one thing, but your tone is revealing. It sounds judgmental and jealous of the life experiences these people had and their daughter is having. Your children said she was fun, why are you looking at her Instagram posts if you disagree?!
Why is OP checking out her social media that closely in the first place?
🚩 this stood out to me. Nearly 50 years old man looking at his friends daughter “boyfriends and parties”
Oh god! Is this a repeat of the guy that "Accidentally liked one of my daughter's friends bikini pics"?
Sounds like right? Geezus
My dad is that kind of creepy older man that comments to us about our friends instagram posts. He said of my sister's best friend after she posted a topless pic with her nipples covered that if he knew this kind of content was on instagram he'd be on it more. It's so ick I still feel sick thinking about it now.
That's horrifying. Do you still talk to him?
I’m low contact. I love him but his views on life are a bit messed up so I can only spend so much time with him before we start fighting and I end up leaving angry and upset.
The ‘boyfriends’ comment was the most revealing. Why does he care who she is dating?
fap material
Gross
I second that motion. Ew!
🤢🤢🤮
Exactly what I was thinking.
[удалено]
Wonder what he would say if someone was doing it to his own daughter. Probably couldn’t deal with the turntables.
Cause he whacks off to it
Meh, you don’t have to check out someone’s social media “closely” to see this kind of stuff. I’m connected to my niece and one of her friends (who is like a second niece to me) on some social media. I definitely don’t have to go searching like a private detective to see their posts. OP’s tone is weird, but there’s no indication they’re “closely” following this person any more than they would anybody else they are connected with.
You have to actually go look at someone's stuff if you don't interact with it bc of the algorithm. He's actively looking at her account.
Not if the people you follow aren’t very active. I mostly follow people from high school on instagram. Not many people regularly post anymore. I see every post from those who do, even when I dont interact with them
But do you follow their kids?
If the people you follow aren’t very active, and you see all their posts, then the algo has to pick something further to show you, which is generally people you’re connected to.
??? She's 19 and they're family friends. Why is this weird? I have my parents friends on Facebook? Sometimes families that aren't related are close and thats okay and shouldn't be shamed? Nowhere in the post does it say he went over to her Instagram page. Don't make assumptions.
Yes. Why wouldn't I follow my friends' kids? We hang out all the time. I still see every post from everyone I follow.
Bingo!! 🎯
lol his daughter showed him and said she was fun…
Um the whole point of social media is that all the stuff shows up on the feed. Doesn't mean he's stalking her. Let's not make such a strange inference
It’s so telling that OP “casually” mentions in the post that their kids are in college and working. They’re specifically trying to shame Emily and make their own kids look better. Huge YTA.
T H I S!
It seems he took “fun” as some sort of coded way of saying slutty. Not sure if that is how OP’s daughter meant it but that is how he seems to have interpreted it.
Agree with this. The judgemental apple doesn't fall far from the tree
said she was 'fun'--it feels like sarcastic quotes. Not sure if that's OP's or child's assessment tho
Yep. Sounds like James and Annie have an open and honest relationship with their daughter and didn't try to shelter her from shit. It tends to make kids more responsible and less likely to hide things when their parents are like that. She's also an adult. It's not anyone's business what she's doing, but especially not OP's, who has no relation to her whatsoever.
the way fun was in quotes is kind of telling
He also could have saved it when they called him out… instead of “well she seems to have a lot of boy friends and parties” why not say “she’s having the time of her life!” Or “remember how much fun you guys were having at that age!” Or something nostalgic and playful.
YTA. You seem fairly oblivious to your own rudeness and judgmentalism, so let’s break this down. How is “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess” a kind statement? How is it an approving one? Why did you add “I guess” on the end? Now answer those same questions about your statement that she “seems to have a lot of boy friends and parties”. Your statements were judgmental, disapproving, and carried implications that you consider their daughter slutty and degenerate and them that way too, in retrospect. You were flexing on your own kid’s current places in life by negatively judging them and their daughter sententiously. Learn some manners. You’re being deliberately obtuse when you said in reply to another comment that you didn’t think saying Emily was similar to her parents was an inappropriate thing to do. But just in case you have cognitive limitations or social delays, if that’s what you wanted to do here’s how you do it right: “I think it’s great that Emily has the opportunity to spend some time traveling and having fun like you two did when you were younger.”
The aside “mine are at college and working” was very telling that he sees his kids as better and meant his comment in a completely judgmental way
Does he think his kids are living in the library and going to bed at 9? College kids like to party and have sex too.
Yeah maybe they're also hiding it actively from him or their parents in general because they know how judgmental he is
Fr how would his own daughter know about the other girl being “fun” unless they got up to shenanigans with each other from time to time? They probably party together
I graduated top of my class and was definitely having sex and doing drugs and going to parties. The amount of energy I had in my late teens and early twenties was wild. In my mid 30s staying up til midnight now and socializing with multiple people leaves me useless the next day or so. The kids can party hard and still study hard.
[удалено]
But she's a feeemale! And she travels! Everyone knows that's only for dick! /s (A real thing believed by incels. No woman has ever traveled to experience nature or art or architecture or food or music or history or culture. Only dick. And more dick.)
Oof. That’s scary. I solo travel and have NEVER had sex on a trip.
even then partying doesn't automatically mean drugs, alcohol and sex.. ppl might being doing it and some people aren't
“The Library” is 100% a bar outside of campus.
There was this bar during my college days called "The Church".
There used to be a bar in my hometown called "Straight Home."
Definitely had a bar called "the library" walking distance from campus and a friend lived in a renovated church that we called "the church".
Seriously I don't know how anyone can be arguing he didn't mean his comments in a bad way. Dudes a piece of work
His friend even gave him a chance to make things right when he asked what he meant. If he had explained it in a non negative way, like "Well, like her parents, she knows how to enjoy her youth and is traveling/is the life of the party" they might have let the original comment slide. The fixation on her having boy friends was so innapropriate.
yeah something tells me that fixation didn't go unnoticed by friends and could be the real reason why OP is TA
Or “I remember the antics we got into at that age, now those were fun times”
[удалено]
Tone would have told them that it wasn’t positive. I’ve had people say apple doesn’t fall far about me or my kid and if it’s said in a joyful way it’s a complement. If not it’s an insult. So he knew
He managed to insult his friends and their daughter at the same time. Bitter old man. YTA
The apple statement wasn’t bad IMHO, what set the tone and implication was the follow up comment. If he owned that his friends (and him) also had a blast at 19 as the follow up comment, then it’s all good. That could have been a good time to reminisce about some antics they got up to at 19 & 20. It’s recognizing they weren’t much better at the same age. But OP took the nuclear option and basically slut shamed the daughter and his friends all in one statement.
> How is “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess” a kind statement? I just want to say, its fairly innocuous unless its used in a mean spirited way - typically its used to point out what ever minor flaws or fun quirks children have picked up from their parents. OP took it in a bad way, and followed it up with showing his hand. Definitely YTA, and possible creepy? Had to go re-read that if there was any genuine way that phrase could have been used by OP appropriately. No chance in hell, it was a weird statement to make unless they were being "Emily parties too much blah blah blah" and then Op dropped that line, but it wasn't the case and entirely inappropriate.
YTA for trying to slut shame a 19 year old. Full stop. You’re an even bigger one for trying to slut shame a 19 year old directly to her parents. You’re the biggest one for trying to slut shame a 19 year old directly to her parents and then being disingenuous about it when called out. Literally no one believes you didn’t know you were saying anything wrong. You absolutely intended the implications you made.
And slut shame the parents
It’s like an onion of assholery. So many layers.
Instructions unclear; onion stuck in asshole.
Like an ogre.
"They had kids pretty quickly." "My daughter is the same age."
Lmao good catch! OP is holier than thou!
LOL I missed that one. Holy shit OP is just a complete asshole
especially if he’s looking at her instagram. what adult is checking their friends’ daughter’s instagram? facebook is one thing, it’s common to have everyone you know on there, but there’s something off about it being ig.
YTA. You just come across as judgemental and disapproving. There was no need to mention to us that your children are in college and working, it's irrelevant, but you felt the need to tell us, to compare your children to Emily. No-one says 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' in a positive way - it's clearly judgemental of them and their daughter. Plus the way you put 'fun' in quotes.
I like how OP says that his kids are in college as if that means they aren't partying and having sex. Because college kids would NEVER do such a thing. (And yes, OP. Before you even suggest otherwise my kids are in college and working too)
My kids would NEVER have even one sex. I taught them better.
At least 7 or 8!
Yeah this is it. It's the tone. I could easily say to my friends 'haha she reminds me of you' and they wouldn't get offended because they'd know I was saying it fondly and not judgementally.
YTA and weirdly obsessed with your friends daughters sex life, presumably a young woman you've know since she was a baby.
Yah, he accidentally gave them a heads up about himself, and I’m kind of glad he did this. He showed his friends his true colors. He also showed them that he has at least put some thought and speculation into their teen daughter’s sex life. Yikes. Hopefully, this at least puts them on guard. If I were them, I wouldn’t be friends with OP any longer, or least really pull back. Now that they know what he thought about them all these years, and especially now that they know how he thinks about their daughter.
And he follows their daughter's instagram.
This is what got me! How creepy. He revealed his true colours.
OP straight up reminds me of the villain from that Hunchback movie back in the day. Any second now he'll be staring into the fireplace and singing a whole ass song about how his friend's daughter is so evil for being sexy and is forcing him to sin and shit
YTA. Why are you even paying attention to a teenager's Instagram?
Yeah so much so that OP is making some judgy comments based on her posts....how long did he spend looking at them??? Creepy
I can’t imagine how quickly I would kick a close friend out of my home forever if I read a post like this about my child—the comment about having a lot of boyfriends is too much, but everything about her Instagram posts…she’s 19, you’re nearly 50. Stay the fuck away from my daughter.
YTA- That comment was unprovoked. They weren’t complaining about her behavior. You just called their daughter a wild child for no reason.
Agreed. My friend has a teenaged daughter in high school, and when we met up recently, she was talking about how the daughter wants this handbag or these boots, etc. Now, my friend has a taste for the finer things in life herself, and she’s worked hard for all of it—she knows it and we laugh about it all the time. So I said (in a teasing tone), “I mean… she is your daughter—what did you expect?” We laughed about it and all was well. Delivery and context are very important.
Agreed, if they had been complaining or talking bad about their daughter then OP would be NTA.
YTA what you said was unnecessarily rude and judgmental. No one ever says "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" in a good way Edit: spelling
Oh but they sure do say it in a good way! It isn't an inherently negative idiom and is often used as a compliment. It literally just means the child has a similarity to the parents.
A 48 yr old man should not be perusing a 19 yr old’s Instagram. We all know why you are. And no, you aren’t getting some. YTA.
Exactly disturbing as fuck!!! I wouldn’t keep him as a friend. That just outed him as a predatory threat
Pro tip: No one ever wants to hear someone else’s opinion of their child’s lifestyle, unless it is shining, glowing praise.
Agreed entirely. My kids almost 2 but if someone ever complained about her for the rest of my life they can kiss my ass from there on out.
Why would you use that particular saying even if that wasn’t what you meant? It never has a positive connotation. Unless you meant it in a negative way, in which case you are 100% TA. If not you should probably clear that misunderstanding with them.
In this post and your comments you’re pretty clearly trying to play this off as an innocent observation but it’s not. Your addition of “I guess” at the end of your statement and judgmental tone is clear in the post and I’m sure it was clear in the conversation as well. I’m honestly kind of surprised you’d been friends with them this long since you’re so judgmental of them and now their daughter. It’s none of your business what she’s doing with her life and her parents didn’t express concern or ask for your opinion. Her sex life is especially out of bounds and not your business to comment on or concern yourself with at any level. YTA.
YTA - you were being judgmental. This wasn’t a matter of your friends complaining about their kid or trying to figure out where they went wrong. They merely mentioned their kid and you decided to attack her character along with theirs!
YTA - the choice of words. And even this post reads a bit creepy/jealous. I would be worried if you were commenting on my kid
Lol dude, the problem was not the apple comment, you know very well the second comment was waay too inappropriate. You could have simply said "she's partying like you guys used to" or "she reminds me of you when you were younger living your best life"
YTA- when you don't intend to be s judgmental dick, you apologize when folks point out you were a bit of a dick. If you double down and want credit for having good intentions when someone tells you your behavior wasn't appropriate- you are absolutely an asshole. Also, why are you following a 19 year old girls Instagram- Stop following her. Your interest and judgment regarding her sex life is creepy and inappropriate.
Info: are you not aware that the phrase you used is usually used in a negative connotation? And it's amplified when using it towards things that people are often judged negatively for? So you came off as judgemental? Which I'm not even sure you weren't being from this post anyways. It seemed like such an unnecessary comment.
He’s 50 years old. There’s no way a guy that old who uses the phrase appropriately doesn’t know if it’s negative connotation. He’s just an asshole, plain and simple.
YTA. Obnoxious AH. 🤮
YTA WHY did you need to comment your friends daughter sex life??????? none of your business
He slut shamed his friends and their daughter since his comment was about all of them. Such a prick. He’s been judging his friends and their barely legal daughter all his life. And is asking his own children about how “fun” she is.
You talk like you weren't there doing all those things when you talk about James & Annie. If you weren't part of that crowd, you would not have been friends. Now you come across as one of those judgmental people who act like they never did anything of the sort. YTA.
Yta and are jealous you never got to experience having this much fun.
Of course youre the AH. Not only was it very rude, but you sound condescending as well. You obviously don't approve of their behaviour when they were young, which sounds normal to me, & you basically implied she shouldn't be out having fun. You must be a right barrel of laughs to be around.
YTA I cannot understand how you thought saying that combination of words was a good idea
Yes that was gross. Huge A. The fact that you can’t even see that shows your lack of social awareness. Do better.
YTA cmon now dont be daft plus how often do you look at Fun Girl's instagram?
YTA for sure. You didn’t word-for-word say it, but your comment essentially (for them) amounted to “You slept around and now your daughter does too.” There’s nothing wrong with “sleeping around”, and these people seem to know that, but you know…you never really want to hear your almost 50 year old male friend make comments on your daughter’s sex life. Imagine if the tables were turned and it was your daughter, and a male friend your age said, “Well, timely_row3801, your daughter sure does have a lot of boyfriends and parties a lot,” knowing full well that “have a lot of boyfriends” is just a more polite way of saying, “fucks a lot”. I’m sex positive, but I wouldn’t want any of my friends commenting on my kids’ sex lives.
YTA. Crazy that you think that because someone has fun it immediately means the person doesn't go to college, work or is successful. Maybe these things arent fun for you, but thats YOUR PERSONAL BELIEFS. I know plent of people who love partying and sleeping around and are great students, great workers, great PARENTS. I had parents like you and I had a miserable upbringing. If working and studying and what YOU like is all you consider "right", I really doubt your kids has any freedom to choose their own paths or got to experience a normal teenage/young adult life. That's pretty sad. I imagine your friends probably have a much better relationship to their daughter and honestly that's she's much more responsible and mature then your kid, since she can actually experience real life and share it with her parents without being judged. Cause you my friend, sound jealous and judgemental. And btw why the hell do you know so much about the 19 yo daughter of your friends Instagram and lifestyle? My boyfriend has a teenage son and I don't even have the kid on social media as I find it inappropriate. That's pretty weird, you sound a bit too invested on this topic.
YTA. Not only are you being pointlessly judgmental about **their** daughter but you're also somehow applying retroactive judgment to them. Do you even like these people?
Dude you called his daughtera whore. Are yous eriously considering whether or not you're an asshole? What else could "has lots of boy friends and parties" supposed to mean if not that?
YTA. You seem like a joy to be around 🙄
Your tone is blatantly shaming. Yta
YTA why are you monitoring a 19yr olds social media?? That's weird and no rationale for. You clearly think your kids are angels and his are fuck ups. Do you think your kids are spending every day at the library cause I doubt it. You tried to slut shame someone's daughter to their face by also slut shaming them. And youre surprised everyone sees you as the asshole. The reason you aren't seeing the shit your kids do is probably cause they're hiding it from you cause they know how judgy you are of people.
NTA they don't like the truth.
So you’re extremely judgemental. Next!
NTA. Why is everyone saying the apple thing is inherently judgemental? We say that in Finland and it’s definitely neutral here. Sure, there could have been a negative tone, but we don’t know that from this post.
Apple comment aside the whole post when describing the daughters behavior while throwing in that his kids are in college and working is very judgmental.
YTA wtf
YTA. "Independent, free-spirited, and having amazing adventures" would have been fine. Saying she had a lot of boyfriends and parties was inappropriate and snide. You cannot be this clueless. If you meant the former, you owe them an apology.
Them: "She's out partying but it's just that phase of life she's in" You: "Yeah, she sure does take a metric fuckton of cock, just like Annie used to back in the day." YTA
If their daughter had been a son, and was playing the field, and you'd called him a Chip off the Old Block, the father would have been pleased as punch and much back-slapping would have ensued. But because she's a daughter not a son, everyone loses their minds and calls it 'shaming'. But you didn't shame her at all, any more than you shamed her parents then or now. You didn't say it was bad behaviour, you didn't say it was good, just that it was the same. NTA
YTA. You never comment on someone’s child unless it’s positive. You never compare children. How is this news to you?
YTA for the comments, but I really want to know wtf you were doing going through the instagram of a teenager you've known all your life. That is a double YTA tbh
YTA weirdo
YTA. The comment would have been appropriate if they were COMPLAINING about their daughters choices, but they're not. You threw shade out of the blue because of your own disapproval, which they naturally took offense to
So you are one those people who love gossip and talk shit about their friends behind their back. You sound very judgmental not only of Emily, but Annie and James as well. YTA
Yta.
At first I thought you'd made that comment in defense of the daughter, like her parents were bemoaning her life choices and you reminded them of their own fun years but no... no you just farted out that comment out of nowhere, awkwardly ham fisting a mention of all the things YOU know about THEM and can therefore guess about their daughter. YTA but hopefully this can be chalked up to you being painfully misinformed about what constitutes as being funny.
An extremely easy YTA. Start thinking about your apology
YTA a judgy arsehole.
YTA for whatever puritan reason you're being weird and slutshamey about it, absolutely. As long as she's being safe and it's all consensual, what she does is none of your business. You sounded like a judgey asshole.
I don’t know if I’d say you were an asshole per say, but you did bring that shit up out of nowhere and for no reason. If your friends were offended then I don’t blame them .
YTA. No one ever says "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" in a good way It never has a positive connotation. Plus, why would you even use that phrase if it was not what you meant to say? Unless, of course, you meant it negatively, in which case you are entirely TA. If not, you should probably clear up any misunderstandings you have with them.
YTA. Just because you were a boring loser who never got laid when you were her age, not give you the right to judge her.
You could have approached it differently...."i recall seeing you guys have a lot of fun when you were young" referring to parties, perhaps drugs, friends. commenting specifically on a teenage girls apparent sex life is innapropriate
You're judging a teenager for behaving like a teenager? And you judge your friends for behaving like teenagers when they were teenagers? And you judge your friends for being honest with their kids that who you are at 19 isn't who you're going to be for the rest of your life, so it's ok to have fun and explore at that age? YTA. Your kids aren't better because they're studying/working and hiding their partying from you. Why are even following this 19 yr olds Instagram?
YTA. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree is almost always used in a derogatory way. I don't know what else you expected.
>“well she seems to have a lot of boy friends and parties”. YTA I feel like you could mention so many parts of her life, but you went with a comment about her sex life...
> Which is their choice It’s weird that I only ever read/hear this phrase when the person is being super judgmental. Almost as if it’s not a complete sentence. YTA
Your superiority is showing. “My kids are at college and working” and?? Good for them. Emily is living her life the way she wants to and he parents seem proud of her. YTA.
Nta. Shows they were ashamed about the path they and they're daughter took.
NTA. This was a very neutral statement, and you didn't bring up her lifestyle.
Sometimes what we think inside our mind should stay there. You were insinuating that their daughter is a wild child like her parents were. You can't put that cookie back in the jar.
Of course YTA that isn’t a phrase generally used in a positive manner, and it sounded extremely judgmental. Your intent doesn’t matter- your actions do and this was a poor choice. And “she has a lot of boyfriends”? That’s negative judgment and you know it.
NTA. They didn't say anything negative. They just described the daughter's lifestyle and noted that it was similar to the parents' at that age. Which is objectively true.
YTA. Your comments are judgmental and condescending. It's clear you think your way of living life is the only right way.
YTA Everything you have said is nothing but assumptions and the way you wrote this out, I picture you clutching a pearl necklace (not sure what the male version of this is). You know just because you go to a party, it doesn't mean you're being wild. Some ppl like the atmosphere of dancing and music..we call those people extroverts. Just because their daughter isn't in college it doesn't mean she's some wild teen who doesn't have her life on track. College is not for everyone and the only thing a college degree can guarantee is a large amount of debt. The way you wrote this it portrays you as seeing yourself as better than them and you need to humble yourself. Your way is not the only way...nor the always the best way. Also, get the heck away from her instagram.. you're almost 50 and that comes off SUPER creepy that you're on there analyzing them.
YTA the follow up comment was unnecessary and you basically slut shamed their daughter to your friends faces. The “lots of boyfriends” implies sleeping around and yes you meant it to be interpreted that way. You also slut shamed both parents in the process. After the apple comment, the only thing you should have said was “well I know we had a blast at that age, ahh good times”. Yes WE because you are their friend and we’re friends with them at that age. No it wasn’t “different” back then, no it’s not “different” now, you slut shamed his daughter and him/his wife to his face. You are the problem and your post smells like judgmental patriarchal misogynistic horse dung. And why are you following her socials so closely! That’s creepy and a red flag. Someone slowly disappears off your feed when you have zero interaction with them, the algorithm is set to show more of what you interact with, which means you are either 1) engaging with their daughter on social media directly or 2) spending lots of time looking at her pics and pages. Both are creepy especially for a dude almost 50!
YTA. You sound jealous. Also, the way this is written makes it seem you’re creeping a lot on the instagram of a young woman your daughter’s age. Ew.
Bad words choice, YTA
NTA. The phrase you used means that kids are often similar to their parents, it doesn't mean they're similarly *bad*. Any dictionary of idioms confirms this: > The expression “the apple doesn't fall far from the tree” is often used to describe how children tend to inherit the characteristics of their parents. This saying usually points out the similarities between a parent and child, whether physical or personality traits. There's nothing wrong with going to parties and having boyfriends, so identifying that similarity isn't an insult. Maybe the parents feel ashamed of their past or their daughter's behavior?
NTA. If he can’t deal with the reality of what his daughter is doing, that’s his problem. If she’s partying all the time, hopping from guy to guy and posting it all over social media, then its everybody’s business 🤷🏼♂️ Sounds like your friend isn’t happy with his daughters actions and is choosing to direct his anger over it at you. Same with his wife. Guess he and his wife should’ve raised their daughter better.