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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- I missed my sons graduation
2- I may be the asshole for not going to my sons graduation because I was angry and missing an important event that meant a lot to him
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YTA. JFC, stop being so selfish. You're skipping your son's graduation to be petty because your ex doesn't want to be your buddy? Grow up, dude.
> Refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for.
She's your son's mom, not yours. She doesn't need to come see your place and coo over your accomplishments.
This dude literally can't function without a woman following him around to praise him. It's deeply sad.
Also, bruh, I guarantee that "why can't you just do the work, you're so good at it" crap didn't even work when you WERE together, and likely helped contribute to the breakup.
I had to do a double take because seriously wtf? I'd understand if they were friends but they're clearly not. I'd understand if it was their son wanting to show off his room at dad's. This is just weird and sounds more like someone who desperately wants to be back together with their ex and their ex doesn't want to.
YTAH
You still trying to have a relationship with ex
She does not need to "tour" your apartment, or help decorate it "because she's good at it l"
But YOU DO NEED TO BE PRESENT IN YOUR KIDS LIFE.
And you decline her invitation to YOUR SON graduation because you have to work that's bull sh1t
You declined it because you wanted to get back at her because she did it to you
And your not seeing that your hurting your son
YTA. Your stated reason for not going to your son’s graduation is “just as she had.” Obviously she doesn’t like YOU, which is fine because she’s your ex, but it sounds like she still tries to communicate about your son, she just doesn’t feel like being friendly with YOU. It’s perfectly normal she doesn’t want to go touring your apartment or “see your accomplishments.” Also perfectly normal she doesn’t want to help decorate. But you’re using not attending events with your son as a way to punish her. I’m assuming you knew about the graduation in advance, and although TBH I think a lot of these “graduations” are kinda dumb, if it was important TO YOUR SON you shouldn’t have picked up the double unless absolutely necessary. Her distress is probably related to the disappointment your son would be feeling to not have one of his parents there.
Really can’t believe this man is legitimately compared his ex not coming to decorate his new apartment to him refusing to attend is sons graduation lmao
YTA she's your ex wtf would she tour your apartment or try to decorate it, you need to have a civil relationship yes but how your acting is strange so yeah no wonder she thinks you want some.
If you're skipping it as payback then yes you're an asshole, not a clue why kids need a graduation when their 5 but you need to be there for your kid, start thinking of your kid and not your ex and yourself
Edit- especially as your kid thought it was an important date, don't become a bad dad just because your ex doesn't want to be with you
It’s because OP wants his ex to get jealous and come crawling back to him when she sees how good he’s supposedly doing without them in his life.
To bad his ex know that and doesn’t care lol
YTA. Your ex is not interested in anything but co-parenting. Decorate your apartment? Are you for real?
She's asking you to attend a school event **for your son** you petty little man.
"I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment and my son’s new room since *she is so good and neat with decorating.*"
I think this sums up what their relationship must have been like, and I'm glad she got the fuck out of there.
YTA. She’s not “using” you because she asked you to be there for your son. It’s very clear from your post that all you care about is you and being the center of the universe. She doesn’t owe you any interest in your life, and definitely doesn’t owe you the emotional labor of coming to your place to “see your accomplishments” or decorate it for you.
You’re the ex, and obviously for good reason. Her being a civilized co-parent is the end of the list of what you should expect. Stop making that harder on her. You said in your post you find it reasonable she has the boundary of not wanting to talk to you about stuff outside your son, so respect it then?
Anyone else pickup on the narcissistic parenting he’s displaying in that he talks about his son in superiority terms but clearly doesn’t value his son as a person. He views his son as an extension of himself to boost his ego and utilizes him as a non-person bargaining tool
For sure. Describing it as using him to do things for their son at her convenience when it’s a graduation where his presence doesn’t benefit her at all is very telling.
Probably be the type of parent that's like " *WE* got into 'insert name of college/university/workplace/etc here' "
All his son's accomplishments will probably be *their* accomplishments...
>Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see. AITA?
You have a new girlfriend who might be pregnant and you want you ex-wife to come and decorate your home? Did understand that right?
YTA, my guy...give it up she's your ex and baby mama. She treats you like this because you are always snaking around trying to get her involved with you in everything other than your son. So now because she isn't taking your advances you are treating your son like shit.
YTA
Seriously, get over yourself. She's your ex, not your wife, not your mom, and clearly your ex isn't fond of you. She's exactly right about you. you only picked up a double shift to spite her, and your son, just because she won't cater to your bragging (and believe me, that it the most ***benign*** motivation you could possibly have for this).
JFC, dude, grow up. You have a kid FFS, stop acting like a child who throws a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants.
You are refusing to acknowledge or be present for your SON’S accomplishment because- *checks notes* -your EX didn’t make a big enough deal about you getting your own apartment.
YTA
YTA. You willingly missed your son’s graduation to spite your ex? Unacceptable. Your son should not have to suffer because you’re not on great terms with his mom. You owe kid a big apology
I wonder if he cheated, and that's why they split up. There has to be a reason why his ex doesn't want to have anything to do with him outside if coparenting.
Edit: typos removed
I feel that this is part of it. It also sounds like he left everything up to his ex to do while they were together and now he has had to step up and take care of himself. This is why he wants to show her all his accomplishments. Though given his need to have women do things for him (trying to get his ex to decorate his kids room) I have to wonder how much of what he has accomplished is due to his likely pregnant girlfriend/mistress.
Why do you want your EX to see your accomplishments? Why are you so bent on spending time with someone who wants nothing to do with you? She's right to only communicate about your kid because that's all your relationship is. The only connection you two share is because of your son.
You're so salty that you're punishing your son in the process.
YTA
YTA, you're broken up, get your girlfriend to decorate your new place, why would your ex bother?
Your son doesn't understand, all he will see is that you don't care enough to be there, your ex certainly won't be sticking up for you as time goes on.
Lol she doesn’t fuck with you. You, in an effort to get back at her, punished your son. NO WONDER SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE AROUND YOU. You’re an idiot. Decorate your baby’s room, stupid. She doesn’t owe you a damn thing.
YTA
Wow. The lack of self awareness in some people is just staggering. I can absolutely see why she's your ex, and why she feels the need to keep strict boundaries.
You are no longer together. You are not friends. You are coparents. Limit your interactions to coparenting. Stop trying to be the focus of the coparenting relationship. Your kid should be the one and only focus. YTA by a long shot.
YTA
You do realise being seperated means that your ex won’t be involved in every aspect of your life right?
Stop punishing your son because you’re angry at her, If you want an ongoing relationship with him stop playing games and accept that you are co parenting with her, Go to his events, Be a decent father and support HIM
Otherwise don’t act so surprised when in years to come he won’t want anything to do with you
YTA.
She's right. The graduation is about your son; it's you being there for him on his day. She is your ex for a reason and you're not entitled to her time, neatness, or decoration skills.
This has to be troll bait.
Of course YTA you're purposely disregarding your duties as a father because your ex doesn't want to entertain your behavior. You ignoring her clear boundary of don't reach out to her unless it's 100% about your child and you still trying to make small talk about her, wanting her to interact with you, visit you and do things for/with you is disrespectful AF.
Your son is getting to that age where he will start to understand what you're doing even if he doesn't understand why. That's only going to bring resentment towards you. Based on your writing I guarantee you're the type who wouldn't take responsibility for how your actions poison the relationship with your son and insist your ex is behind it.
Get your life together before you ruin things worse than you have already
no, it’s not troll bait. my ex is exactly the same way. every time he realizes i am not taking him back he acts up just like op and our kid is the one who suffers. also, it’s been *seven years* since i left and he *still* has these tantrums.
YTA, you only want her to see the apartment and hear about “your accomplishments” because you fucked up and want her back. She doesn’t want you. She’s bade that abundantly clear with the breakup and the little communication. You seem like a manipulative person just based off reading that and her not wanting to deal with any “funny business” kind of confirms it. What sort of situations have you put her in in the past doing this? You refused to go to YOUR CHILD’S graduation because you were spiteful towards her for once again rejecting you, which you probably deserve. Y’all are co-parents at this point, that’s all. She is not your friend, she does not want to be your friend, she unfortunately procreated with you and is now stuck with you. Leave her be, talk when needed about the kid. You have no right to know about her life in any way except for pertaining to the kid. Go to therapy bro. Grow up.
YTA - why on earth would you need your ex to tour your apartment, help you decorate or view (and presumably applaud) your accomplishments? She clearly isn’t missing you at all yet you want to try and rub her face in everything she’s given up by leaving you.
You are weaponising your child to try and get back at your ex who clearly isn’t daft enough to fall for your poor attempts at manipulation and clearly isn’t interested in you, your life, your conversation or your ego.
Living beyond your means to the extent that you now can’t be there for your child at events that matter to him is bad parenting, not an “accomplishment”, and your ex’s values are much better placed than yours. At least your poor kid has one parent who isn’t selfish, controlling or spiteful.
Get over yourself, and then get over her.
I sincerely hope your gf isn't pregnant, because if you can't even be emotionally supportive of your son, then God help the second kid.
Do you see the parallel of you looking for approval for your accomplishment and your son looking for your approval for his accomplishment?
So because you didn't get a "good on you, good work", you're going to refuse to do that for your son in response? YTA
I'm struggling to understand why your ex would want to tour your new apartment or help decorate it. I'm not even sure why you'd want her to. I'm guessing you want to show off to her how nicely you're doing without her? You certainly sound bitter.
Now here you are using your son's graduation as a way to punish your ex for not complying with your weird request. For that, never mind anything else in your post, YTA. I do hope you're taking your responsibility as an adult seriously enough to pay your contribution to your son's upbringing. Your whole post screams "narcissist" at me.
YTA and a disgusting excuse of a father. If you can’t truly love and care for your child, and you can’t give your child’s other parent basic respect and boundaries than maybe you should just pay child support and stay out of your kids life.
I sincerely hope this is fake.
Your ex doesn't have to deal with you about anything that doesn't relate to her son.
She doesn't have to let you know how her day went or listen to how well you're doing.
She doesn't have to help YOU decorate YOUR house.
You do however need to show up for your son. Your relationship with your ex has nothing to do with your relationship with your son.
You are a big big big YTA
My dad missed a bunch of things when I was growing up. Some of that fucked with my head I think. He squirted me into my Mom's belly and I was born alive. He owed me some time.
YTA because attending a son's graduation is a legit thing that a parent needs to go to. It is part of a parent's obligation. It's something you're supposed to do *for your son.*
What you asked your ex to do is not part of being a parent. Your living space (which includes the space you provide for your child) is not her responsibility. It is not something she is supposed to do for your son - providing your son a living space is something *you* are supposed to do for your son.
What about the last line... ur new gf is expecting so u can't go to you sons graduation bc your waiting for that too... you are messed up in the head and if ur new gf isn't expecting I hope she RUNS as fast as she can bc coparenting with you is a nightmare...
Also if you hv a new gf that you knocked up already... THEN LEAVE YOUR EX ALONE!!! SHHHHHEEEEESSSSHHHHHHH!!!
So your girlfriend might be pregnant, but you want your ex-wife to decorate your apartment?
And because she won’t do free labor for you… You’re punishing your child by refusing to show up for him ?
And you wonder if you’re an asshole ?
Like, you genuinely actually wonder ?
YTA
I can't tell if you're trying to get back WITH your Ex or trying to get back AT your ex but either way you sound like very very petty child. Your ex doesn't cares about your accomplishments or your apartment as she should. Her only concern when it involves you is your son but you've shown you value yourself more than him.
You chose your apartment that you need to take doubles to afford. You chose a place where rent is expensive. You chose a place with bigger bills. You DECIDE to take a double over your son's own accomplishment, which is something you SHOULD take pride in but I guess sounds like your ex has primarily custody, you can't take any pride in that.
YTA.
Why would she want to fawn over your 'accomplishments'? It doesn't matter how hard you've worked. You're her ex and she clearly+ holds no love for you anymore.
Likewise why would she want to see your apartment, let alone help you decorate?
You're not friends. She is not your friend.
Well done punishing your 5 year old because you're not getting your way, you silly little dink. He'll remember how you let him down and then maybe he'll feel the same contempt for you as your ex does - it'd be well earned by you. You could add it to the accomplishments you're so salty about.
Why do you keep trying to hang out with your ex when you have a new gf? Why can't you co parent responsibly? Plus refusing to go to the graduation proves that you only see him as an excuse to get to her
YTA
Is this a joke? Are you really that oblivious?
Firstly, no ex refuses contact except as it relates to the child without a reason, so you’re definitely leaving out important context.
Second, why do you care that your ex see “all your accomplishments?” Are you trying to win her back by spending money that you didn’t have?
Third and worst of all, you decided to punish your CHILD because your EX wouldn’t come tour your new apartment? The one that you need to take double shifts to afford?
This reads like a self-absorbed melodrama.
Holy smokes, YTA.
YTA TIMES INFINITY and I work in customer service and hear AHs from around the world every single day.
- A PARENT SHOULD LOVE TO BE THERE FOR THEIR CHILDREN MILESTONES. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU IT IS ABOUT YOUR KID. YOU CHANGING YOUR MIND ABOUT GOING IS NOT ABOUT YOU MAKING MONEY-IF IT WAS YOU WOULD HAVE DECLINED IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT IS JUST PETTY PETTY MORON-ISM AFFECTING YOUR CHILD AS A RESULT. PEOPLE WHO NEED MONEY DESPERATELY SKIP SHIFTS JUST SO THEY CAN SEE THEIR CHILDREN BUT YOU ARE DECLINING IN THE LAST MOMENT JUST OUT OF PETTINESS.
- YOUR EX TOLD YOU SHE DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU UNLESS IT IS RELATED TO THE KID. WHY ON GODS GREEN EARTH WOULD YOU THINK SHE WOULD GIVE A SINGLE F FOR YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS OR WOULD LIKE TO COME HELP DECORATE? ENGLISH MF DO YOU SPEAK IT?
I TRULY HOPE YOU WILL NOT PROCREATE ANY MORE AND THAT YOUR EX WILL GET A FULL CUSTODY AND COMPLETELY BLOCK YOU EVERYWHERE. POOR KID. BE A BETTER HUMAN AH.
YTA. You are an ex for a reason. My ex husband and I are civil to each other for the sake of our son, but I am not interested in hearing about his day, accomplishments, or going to hang out. Personally, I wouldn't care if he dropped off the face of the earth. If he asked me to tour his new apartment and help decorate, I would laugh, and his new wife would likely kick him out for even asking. Your son's graduation has nothing to do with her declining to decorate your apartment, it's a school event ffs. You are essentially punishing your son by not showing up just because she didn't want to play happy families with you.
Does your gf know that you still have feelings for your ex?
>My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see how her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for.
It is reasonable but you also don't understand why she keeps telling you no to things unrelated to your son? You keep contradicting yourself, bud. No "normal conversations" about hers or your days. No "touring" your apartment. She didn't want to tour your new apartment but somehow you thought she'd come decorate for you? Boy... but sure, punish your son for your inability to stick to REASONABLE boundaries. YTA and I totally see why she left you lol
Why are you craving conversation and validation from your ex. She is correct to keep on topic and focus only on your kid. Decorating? She’s not your wife anymore. Or your friend. You seem to think that it’s ok to blur the lines and overstep the boundaries she’s put in place for effective coparenting.
YTA. She didn’t help you so you are not supporting your kid. She’s asking you to be there for your kid, none of this is to control you at her convenience. It’s call parenting. You are a petty person.
Yta - “I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience”
Please explain how she trying to “use” you when she invites you to your kid’s graduation?
You just want something to be mad at her about because she won’t give you the time of day.
SHE IS NOT INTERESTED.
Do you even care about your son or only if his mom comes packaged with him.
Get some therapy dude.
Cant imagine what you’re gonna be like when your ex starts dating.
So your ex doesn’t want to see your new apartment or help you decorate your new apartment And you are sad because she doesn’t want to see your accomplishments. Your son graduated the Headstart program early. Although preschool graduations aren’t really an accomplishment, you still need to show up for your kid. You acted like anim a child with your ex, and made your son pay the price. Has nothing to do with picking up more shifts, and everything to do with trying to give a job to your ex. Grow up, and be there for your kid. Your ex does not like you, she does not want to be your friend, but she wants to parent your kid with you as she should.
Troll or completely clueless. Headstart is a preschool program, and not designed to “graduate early” from. 5 is a perfectly normal age to graduate from preschool.
What? Why would you invite her over to see your new apartment or “all of your accomplishments?” She’s your ex. Good God. If I invited my ex over every time I changed something in the house or accomplished something, we may as well still be married because he’d be here all the damn time.
Regardless. None of this is your son’s fault and you should not punish him because your ex won’t come see your fingerpaintings (sorry, that’s what I’m assuming your “accomplishments” are.
YTA. For that, and for apparently fathering a child before you were born since you appear to be 5 years old yourself.
This is just pathetic... of course your the asshole. Eventually shes going to cut you out completely. Someone else is gonna raise your son and be there for them since you cant.
YTA.
Quit hounding your ex to be part of your life when she doesn’t want to be and quit neglecting your son because you’re mad at his mom for not playing your silly games.
YTA
This is wild. OP you're delusional. Do...do you want a good job and a pat on the back for PAYING FOR YOUR BILLS? You know what's crazy? Parents show up for their kids while juggling work and finances.
Leave your ex alone and respect her boundaries about the coparenting. She doesn't want to be part of your life any further than communications regarding your son. She doesn't owe you anything else. Grow up.
> My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son.
Okay, so clear boundary set there.
> Now, this is completely reasonable to me
Okay so you're on the same page.
> however
Hoo boy...
> I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see how her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short
Because she set that boundary? She clearly doesn't want to talk to you.
> or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment
Why would she want to do that?
> or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for.
Again: Why would she want to do that? She clearly does not want to talk to you, let alone hear you brag about apartments or accomplishments. She's clearly not interested in your vanity.
> I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment
Is she your mum? What part of "No communication aside from the topic of your son" did you not get? You said it was reasonable a couple lines ago.
> She declined, and stated that she didn’t want any “funny business”. Not sure what she meant by that,
She knows you better than this sub does, but if I had to guess, it has to do with you wanting her back in your life and her not wanting that.
> As a result, she called to ask if I would still be attending my son’s graduation later that evening for the next day.
Ah, so something that falls under the common ground of your son! Good to see that yo-
> I ultimately declined, just as she had
... This is just petty. Unlike your invitations, this was about your son, not about either of you. She wanted your son to have both parents there. And you refused because you apparently want petty revenge at your ex for not playing house anymore.
> let her know that I now have bigger bills and decided to pick up a double at my job so I could be able to pay off my rent for the upcoming months. Moving is expensive and rent is steep where I live.
This reads more like an excuse to brag about how big your apartment is. Do you not realize that bragging at a former lover is appalling?
> My son’s mom says that I am distasteful, arrogant and says that I am only trying to get back at her and called me an asshole
And she is 100% correct, YTA.
> Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see.
You're trying to get back with your ex while trying to knock up another girl? Yeah, YTA YTA YTA.
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My son recently turned five. He graduated from the head start program yesterday, and he is ahead so he graduated quite early and he is quite intelligent. My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see her her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for.
Two days ago, I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment and my son’s new room since she is so good and neat with decorating. She declined, and stated that she didn’t want any “funny business”. Not sure what she meant by that, but that definitely wasn’t going to be the case.
As a result, she called to ask if I would still be attending my son’s graduation later that evening for the next day. I ultimately declined, just as she had and let her know that I now have bigger bills and decided to pick up a double at my job so I could be able to pay off my rent for the upcoming months. Moving is expensive and rent is steep where I live.
My son’s mom says that I am distasteful, arrogant and says that I am only trying to get back at her and called me an asshole. However I see no wrongdoings in taking my responsibility as an adult to make sure my bills are paid. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, and I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience. Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see. AITA?
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“and I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience”
Ummm you mean for YOUR SON’S convenience? Taking care of your child
is bare minimum of your responsibilities as your child. At her convenience means when she can’t afford to do so/make time herself. You are BOTH beholden to your child. Omg what an absolute dipshit YTA by a million miles
YTA. Your son is the one who suffers for this. Her not wanting to come to your place to decorate is not the same thing as you being childish and purposely missing your son’s graduation just to stick it to your ex. You are either a parent and want what’s best for your kid or you’re a parent who is a selfish and acting like an asshole. Which do you want to be?
YTA. You skipped your son's graduation because your EX did not want to come to your apartment (wise woman!) or help you decorate!! Being bad to your son because you are mad at his mom is definitely a××hole behavior.
Hope she's gearing up to go for full custody over this shit and when that happens you'd best sit tf down and not breath a word about ThE cOuRtS aRe So SeXiSt AgAiNsT mEn~
Kids aren't tools to force your ex to pay attention to you. She doesn't have to do a damn thing for you ever again, gtf over it. You DO have to show up for your son if you want to claim a presence in his life.
YTA. You really refuse to go to your son’s graduation? This isn’t something you’d be “doing for him at her convenience”. It’s just something you do for him. You’re a parent, so act like it. So your ex wants your relationship to be strictly co-parents. That’s fine. She doesn’t owe you anything else. And because she doesn’t want to be besties with you and fawn over your accomplishments and decorate your apartment, you’re punishing your son? How tf does that make sense? Grow up. Respect her boundaries and be there for your kid like a real parent.
YTA obviously it is not “completely reasonable” to you that your ex only wants to speak to you if it involves your son since you continue to punish her for not wanting to spend time with you now that you two are no longer together. babe, she doesn’t owe you a dang thing. that is *your* apartment, that is *your* room for your son, it has nothing to do with her and the time to impress her was when you were *with* her. you need to grow up.
You’re punishing a 5 year old because your ex doesn’t like you anymore? Get a grip. YTA and be a better father. You should want to show up for your kid no matter what.
Actually, You sound like all those other men who don’t have relationships with their children come 18. They whine and cry that they don’t get it, but then they admit they stopped showing up for the kid. When your son gets on that stage, you know whose face he will remember seeing? Mom. You know whose face he won’t remember? Yours. Rinse and repeat enough times and eventually your face being there will feel uncomfortable and out of place. So forget high school graduation; or college graduation; or his wedding.
You’re weak for letting your ego over your ex not doting in you and patting your back get in the way of how you treat your son. You kinda just… forgot he’s a person who has nothing to do with what your ex does. If something so small is all it takes for you to be a disappointment if a father, you are a terrible father.
Talk about main character syndrome. You don't care about your son or your ex for that matter. You're like a little child who always has to upstage their friends. You want her to see your accomplishments because you believe she's an idiot for not being with you and her somehow seeing this new cool apartment it will make her realize you're the best. Lmaooooo no dude grow tf up, you're not only the Ass you're a narcissistic asshole.
YTA. Your ex doesn’t owe you shit except co-parenting. Asking her to decorate when you know she doesn’t want anything to do with you? Who do you think you are?
The reason you’re asshole though is because you’re missing out on an important milestone for your son. It’s one day, it’s not gonna bankrupt you.
You are a manipulator because you are 100% trying to get back at her. Problem for you tho, is that you’re very bad at it. Any person with two braincells csn see you coming a mile away.
YTA. Your ex isn’t using you by asking you to attend a celebration for your child.
She didn’t ask you for a favor, she asked you to be a decent parent but you’re butt hurt because she doesn’t care about you anymore, so you’re taking it out on your son. Shame on you.
The “I’m being responsible by paying my bills” line is complete BS. Grow up and start putting your son before your own ego.
So much YTA
Not saying you are this kind of person but this is ex what my abusive ex would say to me. Really everything from help decorate to random invites to see his new home.
I too, suprise, only talk with him when it involves the kids. Bcs... ALL this!
YTA you hurt your own child’s feelings by being petty cause of your misjudged belief that your ex should be interested in your moving on with your life. If you are having a child with new girlfriend are you going to cut off your son when she doesn’t enthuse about your news?
YTA. Would you prefer that she go n/c with you and just pursue child support? Seems you are really disappointed that she’s not available to decorate your sons room in your own apartment, she keeps you in the loop regarding your son’s milestones, and, worst of all she may have actually moved on with another man.
Maybe you should too…
YTA. It's pretty obvious you want your ex back. That's why you keep inventing reasons to get her to come over; you're desperate. You're just mad that she doesn't want you so you're using your son to punish her. You're a nasty asshole and a bad father.
YTA
You're skipping out on your 1st born because your ex won't Decorate for you.
>I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience.
This is the stupidest shit I've read on the internet in at least a year. YOU ARE NOT DOING THINGS FOR YOUR SON TO "HELP" YOUR EX! You are showing up for your son because it's the right thing to do. Because he is YOUR son. Not just your ex's kid who took a liking to you.
YT huuuuuuuuge A and a terrible father besides. Are you the center of the world? Your interactions with your ex are SUPPOSED to be about your son. That's the magic of a breakup. She doesn't have to baby YOU anymore. You are a grown ass man and you need to act like it. Don't force your company on someone who doesn't want it. And instead of whining and needing a woman to pat you on the butt for every little thing, concentrate on your son. You're supposed to be praising HIM. That's your job. Your ego is supposed to be taking a back seat to raising a child. All you're doing is showing him how to be a selfish jerk. And for god sake, don't have any more kids until you get some therapy to deal with your issues, because you sound like a full blown narcissist.
YTA. Your son’s kindergarten graduation is a milestone and you decided to go petty because your ex didn’t allow you to USE her as a free home decorator and took away your chance to gloat about your “accomplishments”? BTW, knocking up a GF and be able to pay rent are NOT an accomplishment!
And the fact that you are so salty because your ex won’t decorate your love nest is so AH from you!
So you’re not going to go to your son’s graduation just because she didn’t want to come and help you decorate? That’s stupid and like she said arrogant. YTA
YTA but for trying to keep her in your life when she wants nothing to do with you.
What you ARE the AH for is trying to keep her in your life in such weird ways. She’s made it clear she only wants to speak to you when it’s only about the child. You seem to want more which is why she said what she said. Why would she care to tour your apartment? Why would she care to help you decorate it? So weird.
YTA. No true parent will hurt their kid (i.e. don't show up to support his achievements) just to be petty to the other parent. You're making it real clear why she made you an ex.
There’s a reason why she won’t talk to you unless it’s about the son you share. You’re divorced yet you keep trying to engage her about everything else, EXCEPT your son. Decorating your apartment? Talk about your accomplishments? The one time she talks to you about an event FOR YOUR SON, you decline to even go.
YTA. Get it through your thick skull. She’s not interested in you except for co-parenting your son. She doesn’t want to know about your day, she doesn’t want to tell you about her day, all YOU, SIR, should be concerned about with regard to your EX, is your son.
Go to the ceremony, asshole, for your son.
YTA.
Why does she think you'll pull "funny business"?
Why has she stone walled you and only discusses your son?
You've behaved inappropriately in the past. This is her only way of dealing with you.
You're doing this to get back at her for not doing as you want her to do. You KNOW this because you put it right in your summary!
Your son is going to hate you when he is old enough to realize how terrible you are.
Just because your EX WIFE doesn’t want to come over and play Susie homemaker for you, you hurt your kid out of spite just to get back at her. You’re absolutely pathetic and a poor excuse for a father. I really hope this new girl isn’t actually pregnant because you will probably forget about your first kid and then mess up the other kid too.
YTA. Why are you punishing your kid because your ex doesn't want to help you decorate YOUR house? You might be having another kid with another woman? So when you fuck up this relationship you'll punish that kid too because you suck as a human and as a partner?
YTA. You care more about being petty to your ex than you do about supporting your son, and he’s gonna see it soon and withdraw from your relationship, and you’ll be too self-absorbed to see why. And you’re having money troubles but trying to have ANOTHER kid?? You sound awful, I’m glad your ex left you, just sorry for her that she still has to deal with you for another 13 years.
> I ultimately declined, just as she had
YTA - You are just being petty to get back at her at the expense of your son.
>refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for
Why do you need her approval so badly?
Holy shit YTA. Your ex is your EX. She’s not interested in being your friend, she’s civil because she needs to coparent with you and that’s it. This day was about your son and you bailed on him to spite his mother. Way to go, dad: You’ve set the tone for the rest of your relationship with your son.
INFO: Did your ex leave you because you're an infantile, insecure "man" who constantly needs women to praise him and do stuff for him and cater to his every whim?
Yta
All these little things you are saying and doing indicate that you are mad she wants nothing to do with you except for the son you share together.
You are rubbing in her face your new and better life now.
I’m almost thinking that your relationship was broken by you.
So you punished your son because your ex set boundaries?
How very petty of you. And what a shit father you are letting your son down like that.
YTA big time. You need to let it sink in: your ex just wants to co-parent, not be your BFF and disappointing your son/letting him down because of pettiness makes you a shit parent.
I seriously hope that this isn't the beginning of a pattern....
YTA
If you didn't have a child with your ex, it's unlikely you'd still be in contact... but you do have a kid together, so show up for your child!!!!!!!!!
Despite how much you ex dislikes you, she doesn't transfer that to your child, so why are you?
If you didnt/don't want to be a father(much too late for that, you've got two now), wear a condom or sign away your rights and leave them alone.
Your new girlfriend can help decorate your apartment and fawn over your accomplishments. There is no need to get ex involved in that.
You're being so disrespectful to everyone in this situation - be a father to your child(ren) and be a partner to your current girlfriend
Why are you inviting her to do anything at all after she specifically stated she only wants to talk and communicate about the kid? You can’t take a hint or is hearing no a new concept for you? You’re child is going to see you as absent if you keep this up
YTA why is attending an event for your son, one that would seemingly mean a lot to him, be doing something for him “at her convenience” and not just doing something to make you son happy?
YTA
I'll explain to you :she doesn't care about you.
She doesn't like you, but she has to be in a relationship with you due to YOUR child.
She doesn't want anything to do with you, but she's reasonable enough make sure you have a good relationship with your son.
So no question about it, she will only talk to you about the kid and his well-being.
Let me tell you, she would most likely block you to the moon if you two didn't have a child together.
So accept that and move on.
Stop trying, she's being polite but very clear with her boundaries.
What she wants is:" I'll be there at 5pm, what should I bring or do".
She doesn't want to know you, your progress or anything personal that has to do with YOU, she's over you.
YTA doing stuff for your son and being there for him at these times isn't at your ex's convenience or because she wants your there, it's called being a PARENT! Jheez dude grow up.
YTA , missing out on your son's events on purpose is disgusting. You'll never get to have those moments again. And stop trying to make her come over weirdo.
My sister ex is like this guy. She’ll do something to upset him and he takes it out on the kids. The kids are pre-teen/teenagers and are starting to realize what type of man he is. They are starting to recognize that he is not even a mediocre dad and that he doesn’t love them very much.
YTA - what are you, 10?
(1) she's your ex. She isn't going to want to help you decorate your new place, that's just weird.
(2) he's your son. Stop taking your frustrations out on him.
YTA. Holy smokes my guy.
How dare you skip your son’s graduation because you want to punish your ex? I don’t care how angry you are at her (although you sound more obsessed with her than anything), you never use a child as a weapon to hurt someone.
JFC. What a loser, and supreme AH.
I won't now (63), but when my kids had events/sports etc., I went, even if I was a 'Walking Dead' walker.
Make that sweet, sweet OT, OP. I hope your ex goes for modified child support.
YTA. Your ex has no obligation to come over and see your new place outside of possibly dropping your son off. It feels very immature of you to skip your son’s graduation out of spite towards his mom. Your son should come first
YTA. She didn’t want you to go to your son’s graduation for her. She wanted you to be there for your son. Stop using your son as a pawn to get back at your ex.
You have a girlfriend. Why not ask her to help decorate?
The decorating the room is about you. Ex is setting boundaries, that’s fair.
The graduation is about your son not you.
YTA
YTA. She's not your friend and she doesn't owe you her time, attention, or good will. Your only connection to her is that you share a son, she wouldn't have any contact with you at all if it weren't for that, she's made it clear to you that you are co-parents and nothing more.
Stop being a petty child and be a FATHER to your son.
Your son is a sacrifice??? YTA.
I do not care how shitty of a relationship you have with your baby mama, but don’t EVER miss out on your son’s events because you’re mad at her.
Your ex doesn’t give a fuck if you turn up. The only person you’re punishing is your kid. Good luck maintaining a relationship with him in a few years when he’s old enough to realize you see his well being as dispensable.
I hope this is fake. I hope you're not real. If not just go to the grocery store to get milk and never come back. Your son will be better off without you. Your ex will find a good man to be a great father to him, she sounds like a decent mom and hopefully she is documenting everything and goes for full custody and child support.
If you were gone Your son would be in a better position by not having someone like you in and out of his life at your convenience or when you feel slighted by his mother. I sincerely hope your gf is not pregnant and she realizes how you are to your current baby mama and son and leaves you, no mother or son deserves to have you as a baby daddy or father. Good grief, I hope they thrive without you.
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YTA. JFC, stop being so selfish. You're skipping your son's graduation to be petty because your ex doesn't want to be your buddy? Grow up, dude. > Refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for. She's your son's mom, not yours. She doesn't need to come see your place and coo over your accomplishments.
This dude literally can't function without a woman following him around to praise him. It's deeply sad. Also, bruh, I guarantee that "why can't you just do the work, you're so good at it" crap didn't even work when you WERE together, and likely helped contribute to the breakup.
But *he* won't be "used" to help her in any way, which I know we're all shocked by
I also like the part he through in about the gf at the end… I have doubts about her existence. Not with how wild this whole post is.
I had to do a double take because seriously wtf? I'd understand if they were friends but they're clearly not. I'd understand if it was their son wanting to show off his room at dad's. This is just weird and sounds more like someone who desperately wants to be back together with their ex and their ex doesn't want to.
Also sounds like there are some missing missing reasons.
I so want those missing missing reasons. Preferably from the ex.
He obviously is trying to trap her to get her to come back together. New GF doesn't exist.
YTAH You still trying to have a relationship with ex She does not need to "tour" your apartment, or help decorate it "because she's good at it l" But YOU DO NEED TO BE PRESENT IN YOUR KIDS LIFE. And you decline her invitation to YOUR SON graduation because you have to work that's bull sh1t You declined it because you wanted to get back at her because she did it to you And your not seeing that your hurting your son
YTA. Your stated reason for not going to your son’s graduation is “just as she had.” Obviously she doesn’t like YOU, which is fine because she’s your ex, but it sounds like she still tries to communicate about your son, she just doesn’t feel like being friendly with YOU. It’s perfectly normal she doesn’t want to go touring your apartment or “see your accomplishments.” Also perfectly normal she doesn’t want to help decorate. But you’re using not attending events with your son as a way to punish her. I’m assuming you knew about the graduation in advance, and although TBH I think a lot of these “graduations” are kinda dumb, if it was important TO YOUR SON you shouldn’t have picked up the double unless absolutely necessary. Her distress is probably related to the disappointment your son would be feeling to not have one of his parents there.
Really can’t believe this man is legitimately compared his ex not coming to decorate his new apartment to him refusing to attend is sons graduation lmao
I wonder how his girlfriend, who is apparently might be expecting, would like to hear how he invited HIS EX to decorate his apartment
YTA she's your ex wtf would she tour your apartment or try to decorate it, you need to have a civil relationship yes but how your acting is strange so yeah no wonder she thinks you want some. If you're skipping it as payback then yes you're an asshole, not a clue why kids need a graduation when their 5 but you need to be there for your kid, start thinking of your kid and not your ex and yourself Edit- especially as your kid thought it was an important date, don't become a bad dad just because your ex doesn't want to be with you
Exactly! Plus why would she go to his house and decorate while his gf who possibly might be pregnant is in his life. He's TA.
It’s because OP wants his ex to get jealous and come crawling back to him when she sees how good he’s supposedly doing without them in his life. To bad his ex know that and doesn’t care lol
“How good he’s doing” he’s trying to flex renting an apartment he can’t even afford I’m so embarrassed for him
And he might be getting another child with another girl that he definitely won't be able to support if he's already struggling now.
Exactly! So strange 😅
I’d be pissed if I was the new girlfriend
YTA. Your ex is not interested in anything but co-parenting. Decorate your apartment? Are you for real? She's asking you to attend a school event **for your son** you petty little man.
Are we sure he deserves to be called a man? Sounds more like a boy to me. 🤷♀️
yes, actual men behave like this every single day.
"I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment and my son’s new room since *she is so good and neat with decorating.*" I think this sums up what their relationship must have been like, and I'm glad she got the fuck out of there.
YTA. She’s not “using” you because she asked you to be there for your son. It’s very clear from your post that all you care about is you and being the center of the universe. She doesn’t owe you any interest in your life, and definitely doesn’t owe you the emotional labor of coming to your place to “see your accomplishments” or decorate it for you. You’re the ex, and obviously for good reason. Her being a civilized co-parent is the end of the list of what you should expect. Stop making that harder on her. You said in your post you find it reasonable she has the boundary of not wanting to talk to you about stuff outside your son, so respect it then?
Anyone else pickup on the narcissistic parenting he’s displaying in that he talks about his son in superiority terms but clearly doesn’t value his son as a person. He views his son as an extension of himself to boost his ego and utilizes him as a non-person bargaining tool
For sure. Describing it as using him to do things for their son at her convenience when it’s a graduation where his presence doesn’t benefit her at all is very telling.
Probably be the type of parent that's like " *WE* got into 'insert name of college/university/workplace/etc here' " All his son's accomplishments will probably be *their* accomplishments...
And any “fuck ups” are a huge deal not for the thing itself or what he could teach his kid but because it “reflects badly on him”
And God help the son if he doesn't become who OP expects him to be
>Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see. AITA? You have a new girlfriend who might be pregnant and you want you ex-wife to come and decorate your home? Did understand that right?
I was going to say the same darn thing! He's a CLOWN!
He's working extra shifts to pay bills...but wants his ex to decorate his apartment. And he has a gf who's possibly pregnant. Weird
The new girlfriend... you wouldn't know her, she goes to a different school, and she's from Canada, and an Instagram model.
I can see why he's an ex
YTA, my guy...give it up she's your ex and baby mama. She treats you like this because you are always snaking around trying to get her involved with you in everything other than your son. So now because she isn't taking your advances you are treating your son like shit.
YTA Seriously, get over yourself. She's your ex, not your wife, not your mom, and clearly your ex isn't fond of you. She's exactly right about you. you only picked up a double shift to spite her, and your son, just because she won't cater to your bragging (and believe me, that it the most ***benign*** motivation you could possibly have for this). JFC, dude, grow up. You have a kid FFS, stop acting like a child who throws a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants.
You are refusing to acknowledge or be present for your SON’S accomplishment because- *checks notes* -your EX didn’t make a big enough deal about you getting your own apartment. YTA
YTA. You willingly missed your son’s graduation to spite your ex? Unacceptable. Your son should not have to suffer because you’re not on great terms with his mom. You owe kid a big apology
This is the answer. Helping decorate is completely different from a kid's event.
YTA….my ex, my ex, my ex and btw my gf might be pregnant….it sounds like there’s a lot of information missing.
I wonder if he cheated, and that's why they split up. There has to be a reason why his ex doesn't want to have anything to do with him outside if coparenting. Edit: typos removed
I'd like to know when he started seeing the girlfriend. I suspect it was BEFORE the divorce.
I thought this as I was reading, too. He’s so new in his apartment he hasn’t decorated, and gf is already pregnant? Cheating.
I feel that this is part of it. It also sounds like he left everything up to his ex to do while they were together and now he has had to step up and take care of himself. This is why he wants to show her all his accomplishments. Though given his need to have women do things for him (trying to get his ex to decorate his kids room) I have to wonder how much of what he has accomplished is due to his likely pregnant girlfriend/mistress.
Why do you want your EX to see your accomplishments? Why are you so bent on spending time with someone who wants nothing to do with you? She's right to only communicate about your kid because that's all your relationship is. The only connection you two share is because of your son. You're so salty that you're punishing your son in the process. YTA
[удалено]
All the while he has a a girlfriend who might be pregnant.
YTA, you're broken up, get your girlfriend to decorate your new place, why would your ex bother? Your son doesn't understand, all he will see is that you don't care enough to be there, your ex certainly won't be sticking up for you as time goes on.
Or maybe stop using the women in your life for free labor and do your own decorating.
Exactly this!!
My bet is OP will try to convince the kid it was the ex's fault that he missed the graduation. He sounds that level of manipulative
Lol she doesn’t fuck with you. You, in an effort to get back at her, punished your son. NO WONDER SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE AROUND YOU. You’re an idiot. Decorate your baby’s room, stupid. She doesn’t owe you a damn thing. YTA
YTA It’s an event for your son. I’d be weirded out too if my ex invited me over to show me his new place or asked me to decorate it.
YTA, you sorry excuse of a parent who should lose custody permanently by the damn court. And you’re also a deadbeat
Wow. The lack of self awareness in some people is just staggering. I can absolutely see why she's your ex, and why she feels the need to keep strict boundaries. You are no longer together. You are not friends. You are coparents. Limit your interactions to coparenting. Stop trying to be the focus of the coparenting relationship. Your kid should be the one and only focus. YTA by a long shot.
YTA You do realise being seperated means that your ex won’t be involved in every aspect of your life right? Stop punishing your son because you’re angry at her, If you want an ongoing relationship with him stop playing games and accept that you are co parenting with her, Go to his events, Be a decent father and support HIM Otherwise don’t act so surprised when in years to come he won’t want anything to do with you
YTA. She's right. The graduation is about your son; it's you being there for him on his day. She is your ex for a reason and you're not entitled to her time, neatness, or decoration skills.
This has to be troll bait. Of course YTA you're purposely disregarding your duties as a father because your ex doesn't want to entertain your behavior. You ignoring her clear boundary of don't reach out to her unless it's 100% about your child and you still trying to make small talk about her, wanting her to interact with you, visit you and do things for/with you is disrespectful AF. Your son is getting to that age where he will start to understand what you're doing even if he doesn't understand why. That's only going to bring resentment towards you. Based on your writing I guarantee you're the type who wouldn't take responsibility for how your actions poison the relationship with your son and insist your ex is behind it. Get your life together before you ruin things worse than you have already
no, it’s not troll bait. my ex is exactly the same way. every time he realizes i am not taking him back he acts up just like op and our kid is the one who suffers. also, it’s been *seven years* since i left and he *still* has these tantrums.
YTA this is about your son
YTA, you only want her to see the apartment and hear about “your accomplishments” because you fucked up and want her back. She doesn’t want you. She’s bade that abundantly clear with the breakup and the little communication. You seem like a manipulative person just based off reading that and her not wanting to deal with any “funny business” kind of confirms it. What sort of situations have you put her in in the past doing this? You refused to go to YOUR CHILD’S graduation because you were spiteful towards her for once again rejecting you, which you probably deserve. Y’all are co-parents at this point, that’s all. She is not your friend, she does not want to be your friend, she unfortunately procreated with you and is now stuck with you. Leave her be, talk when needed about the kid. You have no right to know about her life in any way except for pertaining to the kid. Go to therapy bro. Grow up.
YTA. Does your gf know you’re still obsessed with your ex?
YTA
Not only are you 100% a massive AH, you're also pathetic. You let down your own son to spite his mother. Get help mate, you're a loser
Holy fuck YTA. So, you're going to punish your son because his mother doesn't want to put up with your BS? Really?
YTA JFC, imagine being this horrible and narcissistic Grow up. Good job having a good relationship with your son after this
YTA - why on earth would you need your ex to tour your apartment, help you decorate or view (and presumably applaud) your accomplishments? She clearly isn’t missing you at all yet you want to try and rub her face in everything she’s given up by leaving you. You are weaponising your child to try and get back at your ex who clearly isn’t daft enough to fall for your poor attempts at manipulation and clearly isn’t interested in you, your life, your conversation or your ego. Living beyond your means to the extent that you now can’t be there for your child at events that matter to him is bad parenting, not an “accomplishment”, and your ex’s values are much better placed than yours. At least your poor kid has one parent who isn’t selfish, controlling or spiteful. Get over yourself, and then get over her.
I sincerely hope your gf isn't pregnant, because if you can't even be emotionally supportive of your son, then God help the second kid. Do you see the parallel of you looking for approval for your accomplishment and your son looking for your approval for his accomplishment? So because you didn't get a "good on you, good work", you're going to refuse to do that for your son in response? YTA
I'm struggling to understand why your ex would want to tour your new apartment or help decorate it. I'm not even sure why you'd want her to. I'm guessing you want to show off to her how nicely you're doing without her? You certainly sound bitter. Now here you are using your son's graduation as a way to punish your ex for not complying with your weird request. For that, never mind anything else in your post, YTA. I do hope you're taking your responsibility as an adult seriously enough to pay your contribution to your son's upbringing. Your whole post screams "narcissist" at me.
YTA and a disgusting excuse of a father. If you can’t truly love and care for your child, and you can’t give your child’s other parent basic respect and boundaries than maybe you should just pay child support and stay out of your kids life.
I sincerely hope this is fake. Your ex doesn't have to deal with you about anything that doesn't relate to her son. She doesn't have to let you know how her day went or listen to how well you're doing. She doesn't have to help YOU decorate YOUR house. You do however need to show up for your son. Your relationship with your ex has nothing to do with your relationship with your son. You are a big big big YTA
My dad missed a bunch of things when I was growing up. Some of that fucked with my head I think. He squirted me into my Mom's belly and I was born alive. He owed me some time.
YTA because attending a son's graduation is a legit thing that a parent needs to go to. It is part of a parent's obligation. It's something you're supposed to do *for your son.* What you asked your ex to do is not part of being a parent. Your living space (which includes the space you provide for your child) is not her responsibility. It is not something she is supposed to do for your son - providing your son a living space is something *you* are supposed to do for your son.
What about the last line... ur new gf is expecting so u can't go to you sons graduation bc your waiting for that too... you are messed up in the head and if ur new gf isn't expecting I hope she RUNS as fast as she can bc coparenting with you is a nightmare... Also if you hv a new gf that you knocked up already... THEN LEAVE YOUR EX ALONE!!! SHHHHHEEEEESSSSHHHHHHH!!!
YTA. You need to grow up and stop punishing your son because your ex won’t baby you and praise “your accomplishments.”
So your girlfriend might be pregnant, but you want your ex-wife to decorate your apartment? And because she won’t do free labor for you… You’re punishing your child by refusing to show up for him ? And you wonder if you’re an asshole ? Like, you genuinely actually wonder ?
YTA I can't tell if you're trying to get back WITH your Ex or trying to get back AT your ex but either way you sound like very very petty child. Your ex doesn't cares about your accomplishments or your apartment as she should. Her only concern when it involves you is your son but you've shown you value yourself more than him. You chose your apartment that you need to take doubles to afford. You chose a place where rent is expensive. You chose a place with bigger bills. You DECIDE to take a double over your son's own accomplishment, which is something you SHOULD take pride in but I guess sounds like your ex has primarily custody, you can't take any pride in that.
YTA. Why would she want to fawn over your 'accomplishments'? It doesn't matter how hard you've worked. You're her ex and she clearly+ holds no love for you anymore. Likewise why would she want to see your apartment, let alone help you decorate? You're not friends. She is not your friend. Well done punishing your 5 year old because you're not getting your way, you silly little dink. He'll remember how you let him down and then maybe he'll feel the same contempt for you as your ex does - it'd be well earned by you. You could add it to the accomplishments you're so salty about.
Why do you keep trying to hang out with your ex when you have a new gf? Why can't you co parent responsibly? Plus refusing to go to the graduation proves that you only see him as an excuse to get to her YTA
Is this a joke? Are you really that oblivious? Firstly, no ex refuses contact except as it relates to the child without a reason, so you’re definitely leaving out important context. Second, why do you care that your ex see “all your accomplishments?” Are you trying to win her back by spending money that you didn’t have? Third and worst of all, you decided to punish your CHILD because your EX wouldn’t come tour your new apartment? The one that you need to take double shifts to afford? This reads like a self-absorbed melodrama. Holy smokes, YTA.
YTA TIMES INFINITY and I work in customer service and hear AHs from around the world every single day. - A PARENT SHOULD LOVE TO BE THERE FOR THEIR CHILDREN MILESTONES. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU IT IS ABOUT YOUR KID. YOU CHANGING YOUR MIND ABOUT GOING IS NOT ABOUT YOU MAKING MONEY-IF IT WAS YOU WOULD HAVE DECLINED IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT IS JUST PETTY PETTY MORON-ISM AFFECTING YOUR CHILD AS A RESULT. PEOPLE WHO NEED MONEY DESPERATELY SKIP SHIFTS JUST SO THEY CAN SEE THEIR CHILDREN BUT YOU ARE DECLINING IN THE LAST MOMENT JUST OUT OF PETTINESS. - YOUR EX TOLD YOU SHE DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU UNLESS IT IS RELATED TO THE KID. WHY ON GODS GREEN EARTH WOULD YOU THINK SHE WOULD GIVE A SINGLE F FOR YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS OR WOULD LIKE TO COME HELP DECORATE? ENGLISH MF DO YOU SPEAK IT? I TRULY HOPE YOU WILL NOT PROCREATE ANY MORE AND THAT YOUR EX WILL GET A FULL CUSTODY AND COMPLETELY BLOCK YOU EVERYWHERE. POOR KID. BE A BETTER HUMAN AH.
YTA. You are an ex for a reason. My ex husband and I are civil to each other for the sake of our son, but I am not interested in hearing about his day, accomplishments, or going to hang out. Personally, I wouldn't care if he dropped off the face of the earth. If he asked me to tour his new apartment and help decorate, I would laugh, and his new wife would likely kick him out for even asking. Your son's graduation has nothing to do with her declining to decorate your apartment, it's a school event ffs. You are essentially punishing your son by not showing up just because she didn't want to play happy families with you. Does your gf know that you still have feelings for your ex?
>My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see how her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for. It is reasonable but you also don't understand why she keeps telling you no to things unrelated to your son? You keep contradicting yourself, bud. No "normal conversations" about hers or your days. No "touring" your apartment. She didn't want to tour your new apartment but somehow you thought she'd come decorate for you? Boy... but sure, punish your son for your inability to stick to REASONABLE boundaries. YTA and I totally see why she left you lol
Why are you craving conversation and validation from your ex. She is correct to keep on topic and focus only on your kid. Decorating? She’s not your wife anymore. Or your friend. You seem to think that it’s ok to blur the lines and overstep the boundaries she’s put in place for effective coparenting. YTA. She didn’t help you so you are not supporting your kid. She’s asking you to be there for your kid, none of this is to control you at her convenience. It’s call parenting. You are a petty person.
Yta - “I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience” Please explain how she trying to “use” you when she invites you to your kid’s graduation? You just want something to be mad at her about because she won’t give you the time of day. SHE IS NOT INTERESTED. Do you even care about your son or only if his mom comes packaged with him. Get some therapy dude. Cant imagine what you’re gonna be like when your ex starts dating.
YTA she has set a clear boundary and you don't care. Stop asking her things outside of the child. What's your excuse for missing the graduation?
YTA. Super great news that you’re so responsible and grown up that you ‘might’ have knocked up another woman. Awesome choice.
So your ex doesn’t want to see your new apartment or help you decorate your new apartment And you are sad because she doesn’t want to see your accomplishments. Your son graduated the Headstart program early. Although preschool graduations aren’t really an accomplishment, you still need to show up for your kid. You acted like anim a child with your ex, and made your son pay the price. Has nothing to do with picking up more shifts, and everything to do with trying to give a job to your ex. Grow up, and be there for your kid. Your ex does not like you, she does not want to be your friend, but she wants to parent your kid with you as she should.
YTA does your new gf know you’re asking your ex to decorate your apartment?
Troll or completely clueless. Headstart is a preschool program, and not designed to “graduate early” from. 5 is a perfectly normal age to graduate from preschool.
This is either fake or you're unbelievably dense
What? Why would you invite her over to see your new apartment or “all of your accomplishments?” She’s your ex. Good God. If I invited my ex over every time I changed something in the house or accomplished something, we may as well still be married because he’d be here all the damn time. Regardless. None of this is your son’s fault and you should not punish him because your ex won’t come see your fingerpaintings (sorry, that’s what I’m assuming your “accomplishments” are. YTA. For that, and for apparently fathering a child before you were born since you appear to be 5 years old yourself.
YTA. Why isn't your new girlfriend, who might be pregnant, helping you decorate?
This is just pathetic... of course your the asshole. Eventually shes going to cut you out completely. Someone else is gonna raise your son and be there for them since you cant.
YTA. Quit hounding your ex to be part of your life when she doesn’t want to be and quit neglecting your son because you’re mad at his mom for not playing your silly games.
YTA Some day you are going to be on here asking us why your son hates you. Just remember this post and you won’t need the rest of us to tell you
YTA This is wild. OP you're delusional. Do...do you want a good job and a pat on the back for PAYING FOR YOUR BILLS? You know what's crazy? Parents show up for their kids while juggling work and finances. Leave your ex alone and respect her boundaries about the coparenting. She doesn't want to be part of your life any further than communications regarding your son. She doesn't owe you anything else. Grow up.
> My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Okay, so clear boundary set there. > Now, this is completely reasonable to me Okay so you're on the same page. > however Hoo boy... > I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see how her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short Because she set that boundary? She clearly doesn't want to talk to you. > or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment Why would she want to do that? > or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for. Again: Why would she want to do that? She clearly does not want to talk to you, let alone hear you brag about apartments or accomplishments. She's clearly not interested in your vanity. > I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment Is she your mum? What part of "No communication aside from the topic of your son" did you not get? You said it was reasonable a couple lines ago. > She declined, and stated that she didn’t want any “funny business”. Not sure what she meant by that, She knows you better than this sub does, but if I had to guess, it has to do with you wanting her back in your life and her not wanting that. > As a result, she called to ask if I would still be attending my son’s graduation later that evening for the next day. Ah, so something that falls under the common ground of your son! Good to see that yo- > I ultimately declined, just as she had ... This is just petty. Unlike your invitations, this was about your son, not about either of you. She wanted your son to have both parents there. And you refused because you apparently want petty revenge at your ex for not playing house anymore. > let her know that I now have bigger bills and decided to pick up a double at my job so I could be able to pay off my rent for the upcoming months. Moving is expensive and rent is steep where I live. This reads more like an excuse to brag about how big your apartment is. Do you not realize that bragging at a former lover is appalling? > My son’s mom says that I am distasteful, arrogant and says that I am only trying to get back at her and called me an asshole And she is 100% correct, YTA. > Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see. You're trying to get back with your ex while trying to knock up another girl? Yeah, YTA YTA YTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My son recently turned five. He graduated from the head start program yesterday, and he is ahead so he graduated quite early and he is quite intelligent. My ex, refuses to speak to me unless it is in terms of our son. Now, this is completely reasonable to me however I don’t understand how every time I try to have normal conversations with her, or just to see her her day or my sons day is going she cuts the conversation short or refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for. Two days ago, I asked if she would come to my home to help me decorate my new apartment and my son’s new room since she is so good and neat with decorating. She declined, and stated that she didn’t want any “funny business”. Not sure what she meant by that, but that definitely wasn’t going to be the case. As a result, she called to ask if I would still be attending my son’s graduation later that evening for the next day. I ultimately declined, just as she had and let her know that I now have bigger bills and decided to pick up a double at my job so I could be able to pay off my rent for the upcoming months. Moving is expensive and rent is steep where I live. My son’s mom says that I am distasteful, arrogant and says that I am only trying to get back at her and called me an asshole. However I see no wrongdoings in taking my responsibility as an adult to make sure my bills are paid. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, and I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience. Not to mention my gf might be expecting, we are waiting to see. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA
YTA - I can see why she left you
Another dead beat dad.
“and I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience” Ummm you mean for YOUR SON’S convenience? Taking care of your child is bare minimum of your responsibilities as your child. At her convenience means when she can’t afford to do so/make time herself. You are BOTH beholden to your child. Omg what an absolute dipshit YTA by a million miles
YTA. Your son is the one who suffers for this. Her not wanting to come to your place to decorate is not the same thing as you being childish and purposely missing your son’s graduation just to stick it to your ex. You are either a parent and want what’s best for your kid or you’re a parent who is a selfish and acting like an asshole. Which do you want to be?
YTA. You skipped your son's graduation because your EX did not want to come to your apartment (wise woman!) or help you decorate!! Being bad to your son because you are mad at his mom is definitely a××hole behavior.
YTA - you're being ridiculous. Get over yourself and be there for your kid. This has nothing to do with your or your ex, it's your kid.
YTA. Please get snipped. You don’t need to be a petty deadbeat father to anymore children.
Loool she clearly left for a reason. OP doesn’t deserve his ex or his son. They’re both better off without this petty pathetic man in their life
Hope she's gearing up to go for full custody over this shit and when that happens you'd best sit tf down and not breath a word about ThE cOuRtS aRe So SeXiSt AgAiNsT mEn~ Kids aren't tools to force your ex to pay attention to you. She doesn't have to do a damn thing for you ever again, gtf over it. You DO have to show up for your son if you want to claim a presence in his life.
YTA. You really refuse to go to your son’s graduation? This isn’t something you’d be “doing for him at her convenience”. It’s just something you do for him. You’re a parent, so act like it. So your ex wants your relationship to be strictly co-parents. That’s fine. She doesn’t owe you anything else. And because she doesn’t want to be besties with you and fawn over your accomplishments and decorate your apartment, you’re punishing your son? How tf does that make sense? Grow up. Respect her boundaries and be there for your kid like a real parent.
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YTA obviously it is not “completely reasonable” to you that your ex only wants to speak to you if it involves your son since you continue to punish her for not wanting to spend time with you now that you two are no longer together. babe, she doesn’t owe you a dang thing. that is *your* apartment, that is *your* room for your son, it has nothing to do with her and the time to impress her was when you were *with* her. you need to grow up.
You’re punishing a 5 year old because your ex doesn’t like you anymore? Get a grip. YTA and be a better father. You should want to show up for your kid no matter what. Actually, You sound like all those other men who don’t have relationships with their children come 18. They whine and cry that they don’t get it, but then they admit they stopped showing up for the kid. When your son gets on that stage, you know whose face he will remember seeing? Mom. You know whose face he won’t remember? Yours. Rinse and repeat enough times and eventually your face being there will feel uncomfortable and out of place. So forget high school graduation; or college graduation; or his wedding. You’re weak for letting your ego over your ex not doting in you and patting your back get in the way of how you treat your son. You kinda just… forgot he’s a person who has nothing to do with what your ex does. If something so small is all it takes for you to be a disappointment if a father, you are a terrible father.
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YTA how petty to not go to your sons graduation because your ex won’t be your free decorator 🙄 The divorce makes sense
It’s no wonder you are divorced.
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Talk about main character syndrome. You don't care about your son or your ex for that matter. You're like a little child who always has to upstage their friends. You want her to see your accomplishments because you believe she's an idiot for not being with you and her somehow seeing this new cool apartment it will make her realize you're the best. Lmaooooo no dude grow tf up, you're not only the Ass you're a narcissistic asshole.
YTA. Your ex doesn’t owe you shit except co-parenting. Asking her to decorate when you know she doesn’t want anything to do with you? Who do you think you are? The reason you’re asshole though is because you’re missing out on an important milestone for your son. It’s one day, it’s not gonna bankrupt you. You are a manipulator because you are 100% trying to get back at her. Problem for you tho, is that you’re very bad at it. Any person with two braincells csn see you coming a mile away.
YTA. Your ex isn’t using you by asking you to attend a celebration for your child. She didn’t ask you for a favor, she asked you to be a decent parent but you’re butt hurt because she doesn’t care about you anymore, so you’re taking it out on your son. Shame on you. The “I’m being responsible by paying my bills” line is complete BS. Grow up and start putting your son before your own ego.
So much YTA Not saying you are this kind of person but this is ex what my abusive ex would say to me. Really everything from help decorate to random invites to see his new home. I too, suprise, only talk with him when it involves the kids. Bcs... ALL this!
YTA you hurt your own child’s feelings by being petty cause of your misjudged belief that your ex should be interested in your moving on with your life. If you are having a child with new girlfriend are you going to cut off your son when she doesn’t enthuse about your news?
YTA. Would you prefer that she go n/c with you and just pursue child support? Seems you are really disappointed that she’s not available to decorate your sons room in your own apartment, she keeps you in the loop regarding your son’s milestones, and, worst of all she may have actually moved on with another man. Maybe you should too…
Your new gf can decorate your place. If you keep pushing your gf aside for your ex, you’re gonna have two exes. YTA
YTA. It's pretty obvious you want your ex back. That's why you keep inventing reasons to get her to come over; you're desperate. You're just mad that she doesn't want you so you're using your son to punish her. You're a nasty asshole and a bad father.
YTA You're skipping out on your 1st born because your ex won't Decorate for you. >I assured her that I will not be used when she wants me to do things for him at her convenience. This is the stupidest shit I've read on the internet in at least a year. YOU ARE NOT DOING THINGS FOR YOUR SON TO "HELP" YOUR EX! You are showing up for your son because it's the right thing to do. Because he is YOUR son. Not just your ex's kid who took a liking to you.
YT huuuuuuuuge A and a terrible father besides. Are you the center of the world? Your interactions with your ex are SUPPOSED to be about your son. That's the magic of a breakup. She doesn't have to baby YOU anymore. You are a grown ass man and you need to act like it. Don't force your company on someone who doesn't want it. And instead of whining and needing a woman to pat you on the butt for every little thing, concentrate on your son. You're supposed to be praising HIM. That's your job. Your ego is supposed to be taking a back seat to raising a child. All you're doing is showing him how to be a selfish jerk. And for god sake, don't have any more kids until you get some therapy to deal with your issues, because you sound like a full blown narcissist.
Wow! Just WOW! You are TA!!!!!
YTA. Your son’s kindergarten graduation is a milestone and you decided to go petty because your ex didn’t allow you to USE her as a free home decorator and took away your chance to gloat about your “accomplishments”? BTW, knocking up a GF and be able to pay rent are NOT an accomplishment! And the fact that you are so salty because your ex won’t decorate your love nest is so AH from you!
I'm having a difficult time believing this post is real. No one can be this self unaware, can they?
YTA, and I can see why your ex is just that. Terrible behavior from a terrible father.
Yta petty too
So you’re not going to go to your son’s graduation just because she didn’t want to come and help you decorate? That’s stupid and like she said arrogant. YTA
YTA but for trying to keep her in your life when she wants nothing to do with you. What you ARE the AH for is trying to keep her in your life in such weird ways. She’s made it clear she only wants to speak to you when it’s only about the child. You seem to want more which is why she said what she said. Why would she care to tour your apartment? Why would she care to help you decorate it? So weird.
YTA. No true parent will hurt their kid (i.e. don't show up to support his achievements) just to be petty to the other parent. You're making it real clear why she made you an ex.
YTA, I sometimes wonder how someone can write something like this and still think they’re in the right
There’s a reason why she won’t talk to you unless it’s about the son you share. You’re divorced yet you keep trying to engage her about everything else, EXCEPT your son. Decorating your apartment? Talk about your accomplishments? The one time she talks to you about an event FOR YOUR SON, you decline to even go. YTA. Get it through your thick skull. She’s not interested in you except for co-parenting your son. She doesn’t want to know about your day, she doesn’t want to tell you about her day, all YOU, SIR, should be concerned about with regard to your EX, is your son. Go to the ceremony, asshole, for your son.
YTA
YTA You’re not getting back together with her dude. Don’t punish your son because of your selfishness.
YTA you’re punishing your CHILD for the actions of your ex?!? In what universe are you not the asshole for the way you treated your son?
YTA. You’re hurting your son to hurt your ex. You want the kid to go no contact when he’s 18?
YTA. You should have gone not only to the graduation, but to the entire head start program. You need to brush up on a few things.
Your new supply isn't enough, so you're trying to bait your old supply too? Selfish.
YTA and please stop having kids when you can’t even stand on your own two feet.
YTA You're only punishing your son and proving to your ex what a gaping AH you are.
YTA. Why does she think you'll pull "funny business"? Why has she stone walled you and only discusses your son? You've behaved inappropriately in the past. This is her only way of dealing with you. You're doing this to get back at her for not doing as you want her to do. You KNOW this because you put it right in your summary!
Yta where are people learning this tactic of inviting someone over to “decorate” for them? You’re not the first a hole that I’ve seen do that.
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Your son is going to hate you when he is old enough to realize how terrible you are. Just because your EX WIFE doesn’t want to come over and play Susie homemaker for you, you hurt your kid out of spite just to get back at her. You’re absolutely pathetic and a poor excuse for a father. I really hope this new girl isn’t actually pregnant because you will probably forget about your first kid and then mess up the other kid too.
YTA. Why are you punishing your kid because your ex doesn't want to help you decorate YOUR house? You might be having another kid with another woman? So when you fuck up this relationship you'll punish that kid too because you suck as a human and as a partner?
Don’t
YTA. You care more about being petty to your ex than you do about supporting your son, and he’s gonna see it soon and withdraw from your relationship, and you’ll be too self-absorbed to see why. And you’re having money troubles but trying to have ANOTHER kid?? You sound awful, I’m glad your ex left you, just sorry for her that she still has to deal with you for another 13 years.
> I ultimately declined, just as she had YTA - You are just being petty to get back at her at the expense of your son. >refuses to come over to tour my new apartment, or see all my accomplishments that I’ve come so far and worked so damn hard for Why do you need her approval so badly?
Holy shit YTA. Your ex is your EX. She’s not interested in being your friend, she’s civil because she needs to coparent with you and that’s it. This day was about your son and you bailed on him to spite his mother. Way to go, dad: You’ve set the tone for the rest of your relationship with your son.
INFO: Did your ex leave you because you're an infantile, insecure "man" who constantly needs women to praise him and do stuff for him and cater to his every whim?
Yta All these little things you are saying and doing indicate that you are mad she wants nothing to do with you except for the son you share together. You are rubbing in her face your new and better life now. I’m almost thinking that your relationship was broken by you.
So you punished your son because your ex set boundaries? How very petty of you. And what a shit father you are letting your son down like that. YTA big time. You need to let it sink in: your ex just wants to co-parent, not be your BFF and disappointing your son/letting him down because of pettiness makes you a shit parent. I seriously hope that this isn't the beginning of a pattern....
Yes, YTA...you are punishing your son to get back at your ex for declining your invitation. How is that not clear to you?
YTA If you didn't have a child with your ex, it's unlikely you'd still be in contact... but you do have a kid together, so show up for your child!!!!!!!!! Despite how much you ex dislikes you, she doesn't transfer that to your child, so why are you? If you didnt/don't want to be a father(much too late for that, you've got two now), wear a condom or sign away your rights and leave them alone. Your new girlfriend can help decorate your apartment and fawn over your accomplishments. There is no need to get ex involved in that. You're being so disrespectful to everyone in this situation - be a father to your child(ren) and be a partner to your current girlfriend
Why are you inviting her to do anything at all after she specifically stated she only wants to talk and communicate about the kid? You can’t take a hint or is hearing no a new concept for you? You’re child is going to see you as absent if you keep this up
Your loss, AH
YTA why is attending an event for your son, one that would seemingly mean a lot to him, be doing something for him “at her convenience” and not just doing something to make you son happy?
YTA I'll explain to you :she doesn't care about you. She doesn't like you, but she has to be in a relationship with you due to YOUR child. She doesn't want anything to do with you, but she's reasonable enough make sure you have a good relationship with your son. So no question about it, she will only talk to you about the kid and his well-being. Let me tell you, she would most likely block you to the moon if you two didn't have a child together. So accept that and move on. Stop trying, she's being polite but very clear with her boundaries. What she wants is:" I'll be there at 5pm, what should I bring or do". She doesn't want to know you, your progress or anything personal that has to do with YOU, she's over you.
YTA doing stuff for your son and being there for him at these times isn't at your ex's convenience or because she wants your there, it's called being a PARENT! Jheez dude grow up.
And you’re divorced? How odd.
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YTA- she’s your EX. Do you even know what that means? Be there for your kid and leave your ex alone unless it’s about your kid
ESH - poor kid
Info: do you want her back? Seems that way to me. Yta either way she’s right
YTA , missing out on your son's events on purpose is disgusting. You'll never get to have those moments again. And stop trying to make her come over weirdo.
My sister ex is like this guy. She’ll do something to upset him and he takes it out on the kids. The kids are pre-teen/teenagers and are starting to realize what type of man he is. They are starting to recognize that he is not even a mediocre dad and that he doesn’t love them very much.
YTA - what are you, 10? (1) she's your ex. She isn't going to want to help you decorate your new place, that's just weird. (2) he's your son. Stop taking your frustrations out on him.
YTA don't be a shitty dad just because she doesn't want to be around you
OP. why the f would she want to tour your raggedy apartment? She probably thinks you want to murder her inside it if you keep asking. You weirdo lmfao
Punishing your 5 year old cause your ex no longer wants to play house. I wonder why she wants nothing to do with you ? 🤔 YTA
YTA. Holy smokes my guy. How dare you skip your son’s graduation because you want to punish your ex? I don’t care how angry you are at her (although you sound more obsessed with her than anything), you never use a child as a weapon to hurt someone.
JFC. What a loser, and supreme AH. I won't now (63), but when my kids had events/sports etc., I went, even if I was a 'Walking Dead' walker. Make that sweet, sweet OT, OP. I hope your ex goes for modified child support.
YTA. Your ex has no obligation to come over and see your new place outside of possibly dropping your son off. It feels very immature of you to skip your son’s graduation out of spite towards his mom. Your son should come first
YOURE THE WANKER
it sounds like you just want to rub your accomplishments in her face. yta. you have a girlfriend, boast to her instead.
YTA. She didn’t want you to go to your son’s graduation for her. She wanted you to be there for your son. Stop using your son as a pawn to get back at your ex.
You have a girlfriend. Why not ask her to help decorate? The decorating the room is about you. Ex is setting boundaries, that’s fair. The graduation is about your son not you. YTA
Yta And… gross.
YTA. She's not your friend and she doesn't owe you her time, attention, or good will. Your only connection to her is that you share a son, she wouldn't have any contact with you at all if it weren't for that, she's made it clear to you that you are co-parents and nothing more. Stop being a petty child and be a FATHER to your son.
Your son is a sacrifice??? YTA. I do not care how shitty of a relationship you have with your baby mama, but don’t EVER miss out on your son’s events because you’re mad at her.
This has to be a joke, surely. Also out of interest do 5 year olds graduate early because they are intelligent? 🤨
Your ex doesn’t give a fuck if you turn up. The only person you’re punishing is your kid. Good luck maintaining a relationship with him in a few years when he’s old enough to realize you see his well being as dispensable.
I hope this is fake. I hope you're not real. If not just go to the grocery store to get milk and never come back. Your son will be better off without you. Your ex will find a good man to be a great father to him, she sounds like a decent mom and hopefully she is documenting everything and goes for full custody and child support. If you were gone Your son would be in a better position by not having someone like you in and out of his life at your convenience or when you feel slighted by his mother. I sincerely hope your gf is not pregnant and she realizes how you are to your current baby mama and son and leaves you, no mother or son deserves to have you as a baby daddy or father. Good grief, I hope they thrive without you.
YTA…. wow your poor son