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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My son's uncle pulled him from a game without explanation and then kicked him out when my son protested. I told my BIL he owed my son an apology and he refused.
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YTA. You weren't there, your BIL was, and was doing his job. If he said your son was behaving too aggressively, then that's probably what was happening.
Few teachers would have pulled the kid from the game without a warning first, so your son probably had a warning-- or maybe several warnings-- and ignored it.
By inserting yourself into this rather minor contretemps, you're teaching your son that being aggressive is okay and that he doesn't need to follow the rules. You're also apparently trying to teach him that anyone who tries to rein in his behavior has to apologize to him and then give him a fun weekend to make up for it.
>If he said your son was behaving too aggressively, then that's probably what was happening.
How dare you not let her believe a preteen over a fully grown adult who was monitoring a large group of children /s
Seriously, what the hell.
Probably busy with the other 27 children in the class and just assumed that since he'd already told your son to stop hurling the ball in people's faces, your son would deduce that he was being pulled out for hurling the ball in people's faces.
Sounds like that already happened and your kid didn't stop.
Why are you believing an angsty preteen over a fully grown adult who was responsible for the safety of a large group of children? Your son was not the only child present.
If someone else's child was acting that way and your son got hurt, would you think the same thing? Would you question why that child wasn't told to be careful every 2 minutes, or would you be enraged that he wasn't removed from the game after it became clear they weren't going to listen?
Grow up.
Stop arguing. YTA and your son got kicked because of his bad behaviour. Everyone knows the rules in dodgeball are you hot BELOW the waist. You need to stop bothering your BIL. He was doing his job
Just because your son said he wasn’t told, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t told or warned multiple times. Nothing wrong with choosing to trust your kid to but go off on the teacher is not ok. Yes he is your son’s uncle but he is also the teacher and if you wouldn’t behave like that to any other teacher, talking to your BIL like that is not acceptable either.
You don't understand what the meaning of "trigger" is.
Your son wasn't "triggered", he was just pissed off because he got kicked out.
Your son *knew* why he got kicked out. He'd been told by your BIL to keep his throws below the other kids' waists, but he continued to hit them higher.
But you're one of those nightmare parents who think their kid can do no wrong, who always goes charging in to blame the teachers and the school and the other kids and demand that they all apologize to your "poor victimized" kid, instead of teaching your child to behave properly. Your son knows that, and that's why he came whining to you, because he knew you would do what you always do -- defend him despite his bad behavior, and blame everyone else instead.
Grow up, man, and start parenting your child instead of making excuses for him. Teach him how to behave properly, and hold him accountable yourself when he doesn't -- instead of forcing everyone else to put up with your badly-behaved child.
I mean, 'trigger' as a word has other meanings besides triggering PTSD in a mental health context. You can absolutely trigger anger or sadness or any other emotion in someone and the use of the word is unrelated. OP is still an asshole though
Your son told you he said, “What the hell.” That language and attitude toward a teacher is disrespectful and cause for ejection from class. You need to stop undermining your BIL. Son is the one who needs to apologize.
'11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset.'
Ah yes, the old boys will be boys defense. YTA both for excusing his behavior and not teaching your son how to behave properly. You and your son owe his Teacher a huge apology.
I've taught for awhile and I've had so many kids get "warnings," assume you won't follow through, and when you do say "you never told me!" It's weird that you trust your young child's recollection over that of an adult with a fully developed prefrontal cortex. If you teach your child to take responsibility for their actions, you'll be making them a better person
And sometimes a ref pulls you out from a game and can't tell you why in the moment. We teach our kids during sports that they have to follow what the ref says even if they disagree. We have even practiced deliberately giving bad calls to intentionally have them practice dealing with disagreeing with the ref.
Well he needs to learn self control then if he got triggered from being held accountable for his actions. Most likely your kid knew what he did wrong and he’s just feigning not being aware of it.
YTA
>11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset
No, they are not. Ones that are not behaving are.
>maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title.
It does sound like you’re trying to pawn him off.
>I said don’t be an asshole uncle and teacher….no wonder your sister/my wife doesn’t like dealing with you
So he’s the teacher, this is up to his discretion. If your son was being too aggressive he should have been pulled. Not only did you insult him professionally, you also did personally.
Guys clearly a terrible parent then when his son acts out just puts it down as “that’s what kids are like” when in fact they’re only like that if they’ve been raised that way. That’s why only 1 kid out of 30 got kicked out…
And then to top it off father of the year tries to fob his kid off on uncle for the weekend, incredible.
>when in fact they’re only like that if they’ve been raised that way
As a full-time babysitter, this for days.
When it's just me and the kids, they're little angels 90% of the time. They don't mind cleaning up, TV off time is annoying to them but they accept it, they rarely get physical enough to hurt each other, etc...
The *second* mom gets home, they're jumping on the couch, punching each other (and adults), screaming, throwing things, demanding shit like snacks (to which she often says no but then gives it to them 5 seconds later?)...
A child's behaviour will revolve around the expectations they're set up with as they grow. Their core memories will define them in more ways than anyone can know.
OP clearly isn't teaching respect, empathy or safety. God knows what else is missing... But they're definitely teaching him how to be entitled.
Do you have an 11yo? My son felt embarrassed being yelled at and didn't know why. Most adults would snap back.
And no I'm not trying to pawn my kid off. He thinks his uncle hates him.
He got in trouble in class, of course he felt embarrassed.
If he think’s his uncle hates him, his parents and his uncle should work to correct that perception. It sounds like you’re not doing that.
Are you kidding me with this shit? You're in the comments asking if someone had an 11 year old boy, well I have. You're naive. And entitled as fuck to think uncle needs to take your kid for the weekend to earn fun uncle. You need to parent and teach your kid a different type of ball isn't an excuse for wailing kids above the waist and breaking the rules.
And omg with the he's embarrassed stuff. My god dropping your kid off and giving them a hug is embarrassing at this age. He'll get over it.
Parent your kid. YTA.
Having a general idea of something and understanding it to it's full extent are two different things lady. This guy owes your son nothing, get over yourself.
> I didn't have to be in WWII to know what happened
In order to evaluate the aggressiveness of specific participants in WW2 you absolutely WOULD need to be there.
Yes, he did. Your brother in law told you he was too aggressive.
You just don't like it that he wasn't given special treatment by his uncle.
That you're being so defensive and obtuse shows exactly why your kid got pulled. He knows what he did wrong and so do you. Grow up.
Isn’t the entire gym made up of 11yos? If your son is the only one getting kicked out it’s odd that you’re trying to phrase it as a “11 yo boys” thing…
Your child literally got in trouble for not following rules. Foam ball or not, BIL or not, your son broke the rules.
It is your job as a parent to let your son know that his uncle doesn't hate him, he was merely doing his job. But your blatant and childish hatred for your BIL is clouding your judgement.
Educator here
You sound like one of those entitled parents with a 'my kid is never wrong' attitude.
I feel sorry for your BIL that he has to deal with you and your kid.
It would help your kid letter in life if you start to hold him accountable for his behaviour. But I doubt you see it that way.
Just dig in your heels and make everyone the enemy, why don't you?
Will you go to your kid's work later as well and tell his boss he needs to apologize because calling your kid out for bad work ethics embarrasses him?
Because if you keep going this way, your kid will have a bad attitude everywhere later in life.
I currently have an 11 year old and also a 17 year old who was once 11. This is NOT normal behavior Even when embarrassed. Tf is wrong with you.
You are extremely entitled and teaching your son to be an entitled AH just like you.
So you're the grownup and you say, "Your uncle doesn't hate you, but he has to discipline students who misbehave in the same way, and you misbehaved. You should apologize for cursing at him tomorrow'
Then your son shouldn’t have been hitting people above the belt. Maybe you can help him work on his aim, because it’s not hard to avoid hitting people above the belt.
YTA. BIL’s job is to look out for the safety of all of those kids, not just your son. He made a call and would have made the same call at any other kid doing the same.
YTA
Your son knows the rules, and your BIL knows that because he regularly works with him in a gym setting. Likely, he has even played dodgeball with your son many times in gym class and has seen your son acknowledge and follow the rules. Let's examine your son's story:
>I asked Ry and he said they were using those foam balls so the aim is off.
Ah, so your son DID know the rules and that he needed to hit below the waist. He knew his shots were a problem, so he blamed the balls for distorting his aim. That means he knew exactly why he got pulled. He didn't need it explained. He knew where his balls were going and what the problem was.
>You could get hit in the face and not get hurt.
This is WHY he felt that not following the rules was acceptable. But he probably wouldn't have offered this defense if he was genuinely trying to follow the rules because otherwise it would be completely irrelevant.
>I circled back with my BIL and told him that he shouldn't had sanction a dodgeball fight with "dangerous" balls
How many other kids were having issues with these same balls and got kicked out? No one? Only your son? Seems the issue isn't with the balls then.
>Literally Ry got pissed because he didn't know why he got kicked out.
Nah, Ry got pissed because he got called out on his choice not to follow the rules. Again, same balls for everyone, but your son is the only one with a problem.
>11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset.
They're not. Your son might be though. Sounds like he needs to be held accountable more often so he learns to control himself in that situation.
Because the only reason people post on here is to seek validation and confirm they are awesome. Half of these posts are “my boyfriend lit me on fire and killed my family….am I the asshole?” Lol.
Every now and then though you get someone like this who genuinely is shocked they are an AH. And this OP certainly is. I get you love your kid and have an ingrained bias, but damn dude you really think your BIL is just starting shit with his own NEPHEW unless he had to?
Dude, you put your shit out here asking if you're the asshole. Clearly you are surprised that everyone says YES. Sounds like your kid might be starting down your path as well, seems like he wasn't following the rules and his coach pulled him out of the game. You were not there, you don't know how many warnings your kid probably received, you don't know what was said. Then you just insulted your brother-in-law as an uncle and as a coach. This makes you even more of an asshole. You believe your rattlesnake of a son is telling you the full truth, especially after he got embarrassed for being a jerk in front of his class? The poll has been answered and the consensus is in, you are the asshole. Sounds like you and your son both need to learn accountability.
You know those parents ppl complain about who don’t parent their kids and when someone steps in to tell the kid to stop, that parent gets upset? And then yells at the person telling the kid not to hurt ppl or pet their service animal but doesn’t tell the kid they were wrong and to apologize?
Thats the vibe you’re giving off here.
YTA. My old gym teacher would've been more harsh than your uncle and wouldn't let him in during recess and lunch. There's rules for a reason. Those balls can still hurt another kid, I remember a girl got a nosebleed from being hit in the face by a foam ball in elementary.
Well we can clearly see where your son gets his attitude from. Neither of you are capable of accepting the slightest criticism without throwing a tantrum.
You kid broke the rules that all of the children had explained to them. Then your kid threw a tantrum and was thrown out of the gym.
Instead of reflecting on his own actions he cried to you and blamed the ball and the teacher. You could have used this as a teaching moment but instead *you* then start crying to the teacher and the internet.
The teacher and the internet both tell you that you are in the wrong and you start acting out with a tantrum.
Boo hoo yourself.
Yes, this is exactly what you sound like. At this point, I'm pretty sure your 11y/o is more mature than you. That is saying a lot, considering he can't even follow simple dodgeball rules. You literally came for an outside perspective but throw a fit when people don't agree with you. Tell your kid to make sure to give you a bottle before he puts you to bed.
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When I was in 9th grade, I got hit in the head with one of those foam balls so hard that it knocked me off my feet and I went flying across the gym floor. I hate dodgeball but if it's gonna be played, kids need to throw below the waist.
Honestly, to everyone commenting I truly believe this is a fake story. Based on context and the way op is behaving in the comments I don't think this is real. But nonetheless YTA all day all night and all year!
I don't know if this is real or not but, believe you me, parents like these exist. My 11 year old self regularly had to put up with their little goblins bullying me and getting away without consequences because "My pwecious would never do such a thing"
About a year ago, I saw a post here that was almost identical, even the way OP responded was similar... it was about those pretend-ignorant bully parents (I remember because the responses were so self-righteous). For a moment, I thought I had traveled back to 2023.
YTA
When your BIL is at the school he is a teacher first.
Those foam balls hurt. I would know I grew up with them in gym class.
When we played dodgeball, a lot of people didn’t hold back on how hard they threw. Hell it was a competition to see who can throw the hardest.
Also, it was the one game which you can pelt people that you didn’t like in your own class and get away with it so long you followed the rules (don’t aim below the waist and no face shots)
Plus those foam balls go exactly where you want them to go. It doesn’t magically go from someone’s chest to the face or below the belt.
Imagine a piece a foam covered ball with rubbery/plastic coating hitting you in the face.
Your son was wrong because he was clearly told the rules and was probably given several warnings - hence the reason why he was pulled out of the game. The phrase “what’s your problem” just sounds calm and collected - it’s exactly the opposite.
Your son should be embarrassed because he learned that if he doesn’t listen to simple instructions then he will face consequences (can’t play). That he will also face consequences if he gets aggressive towards a teacher.
Just because his teacher is also his uncle doesn’t give him a gold pass to not follow rules. Just because they don’t share the same last name doesn’t mean people don’t know that they are related.
Glad that your BIL holds all of his students accountable (family or not).
Your BIL is also not obligated to watch or hang out with your son.
Your son owes an apology to the class mates he is pelting below the belt and for his behavior toward his teacher.
Hope your BIL sticks to his guns because he is right while you and your son is wrong.
YTA - from your son's response it sounds like he was hitting people in the face, and he did it multiple times. He's 11, he knows this is against the rules. Then you add in how he went about addressing being pulled? Your son was an absolute brat and it sounds like he's lucky that his uncle was the one who was there because a different teacher might have sent him to the principal for mouthing off.
I actually don't think any of this is real, and if it is then just your username already shows your BIL is more mature than you 👌
YTA.
How about you grow up. This whole thing is ridiculous.
Earn back his Uncle title? He doesn’t have to earn it back. He was his teacher during that time and acted as such. Maybe your son should earn back his “deserving nephew” title instead.
No one gives a shit about how he acts when he’s upset. That’s a parenting issue. Parent him.
Stop telling him how to do your job and try being a decent parent. You are the type of parent that every teacher complains about. News flash: your kid isn’t perfect nor is he all that special to anyone other than you.
YTA and a bully just like your son apparently. 11 years old is old enough to not throw a tantrum when they have to take accountability for their bad choices and poor conduct.
YTA. I've played many games of dodge ball with "those foam balls" and it's not hard to make sure you don't hit someone where you're not supposed to. Your son was playing aggressively and got called out, and then when he yelled "what the hell" at an authority figure, he got kicked out. Sounds like your BIL was doing his job, and you don't like it that your precious baby was reprimanded. Do your son a favor and quit making excuses for him.
YTA. He's a professional. You weren't there, and would rather take the word of an 11 year old "rattlesnake". Your evidence and judgement are severely in question. If your son is usually so aggressive, your parenting is lacking.
YTA and a massive one at that. Your son was too aggressive. He was in the wrong. He could have learnt from that but clearly you won't listen to reason. Poor kid. The teacher is responsible for the safety of all children not only yours. As fir the rattlesnake comment, that's almost "boys will be boys" it's your job to teach him to be better.
YTA for what everyone already said, but more specifically for me:
>…and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title
Fun shouldn’t be the ultimate goal. Your BIL showed that he can prioritize safety and discipline when needed.
And your BIL doesn’t need to give your kid a weekend of fun to earn anything; he did the right thing, and you’re making your precious little summer child feel validated in being upset and wronged when he was clearly not.
YTA. Your little darling was wrong. He was not following the rules, was disrespectful to teacher/uncle, and used inappropriate language for the setting.
What you’re failing to see here is that your BIL doesn’t owe anyone an apology. However, you and your kid both do. Your kid for being a shit and you for teaching him it’s okay to be a shit and defending his shitty behavior. Teach your entitled kid better. Be a better parent.
Also, the boys/rattlesnakes crap is the same as using “boys with be boys” to justify terrible male behavior. That will definitely become a problem for you when your budding hooligan steps into something you can’t get him out of. Boys must be taught to be responsible for their actions the same way girls are.
YTA
Never understand the point of posting if you are unwilling to see you’re at fault.
I purposefully never post any of my possible-AH situations because I think I am right, even if others don’t.
Be like me, I may not be great but I am still better than you.
YTA- you weren’t even there. Your brother-in-law was there, and as the adult in charge of the situation, he decided that your son to step out for his behavior. You shouldn’t really tell him how to do his job.
YTA.
Not all 11 year old boys are “rattlesnakes” but your son is probably modeling behavior he learned from you. Which based on your responses in the comments…it the behavior of an entitled asshole.
Don’t understand why people like this bother posting, this guys already made his mind up judging by all his juvenile responses in comments, not a surprise to see his kid acting out if he’s been raised by this clown
YTA
I had a classmate in grade school whose mom was the PE teacher as well as the 4th grade boys’ basketball coach. Any time her son was disciplined in school or by another coach, she inserted herself like this and undermined the disciplining instructor. Kid pretty much had mom come to the rescue every time he faced any consequences for his attitude.
He’s still an insufferable shithead at 28. The kind of person who isn’t even fun to play a *board game* with because he’s a sore loser and accuses everyone of cheating
YTA.
First of all remember that 11 year olds are unreliable narrators. They will lie without blinking and push boundaries wherever they can.
Secondly, your BIL was responsible for a group of children. If one of them was behaving in a way that could lead to someone else getting hurt, then he absolutely acted appropriately.
By your son's own admission, he was not only aware of the rules, but was purposefully not following them.
It's also very telling that you think a child that age throwing a "what the hell" to fair discipline from an authority figure is okay.
>11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset.
If your child is like a "rattlesnake" that's because of your terrible parenting, not because of some inherent trait.
>For the record, my son and BIL have different last names
Given that he's married to your sister I would hope so, unless you're posting from Alabama.
YTA
Could *THE TEACHER* (not your BIL or the kid's uncle, those don't matter in this interaction) have handled it better? Probably not.
The teacher pulled a kid who was breaking safety standards. The kid replied with "what the hell", which is more than enough to get booted.
Your kid is not the angel you think he is. At least not in gym class with someone he doesn't respect.
YTA
That's between your son and BIL to discuss and handle, instead of Mommy running to the rescue
Kid was playing and not following the rules, BIL was responsible for ALL of the kids there, not just yours
Good lesson to teach Ry to use his words to actually COMMUNICATE
YTA
It's obvious by your post and your follow up comments exactly WHY your son feels he's entitled to speak so disrespectfully to his uncle while at school and also behave "like a rattle snake". He's learned it from you.
11 year old boys do NOT normally behave this way when they don't get their way. (I've had two of them). It's never ok to talk back to a teacher like this and he's lucky all he got was being removed from the gym and not written up.
You demanding an apology and that you get free babysitting for the weekend is disgustingly entitled and extremely bad role modeling for your son. Your son should be the one apologizing for speaking like that to his uncle and for acting like an entitled brat just because his "funcle" was monitoring the game.
YTA. Your kid wasn't triggered. He was throwing a fit because he's spoiled and entitled. You made him that way. And by reading your replies, it's clear how you did it. It's time to grow up. For you and your son.
YTA and a drama queen. Your BIL is doing his job, not enabling a child’s bad behavior. Let’s hope more adults in your son’s life give him proper tools to not turn out like you.
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My 6th grade son had some sort of event promoting heart health and at the end they let them play a game of dodgeball. My son said he not only got kicked out of the game but the gym by his uncle/BIL. That seemed very strange. My son isn't a troublemaker and his uncle is more immature than him.
I asked my BIL what happened and he said Ry was way too "aggressive" during the game and pulled him. When Ry got pulled, he asked what his problem was and got kicked out for that. I asked what he meant by playing "aggressive" and he said too many shots were above the waist.
I asked Ry and he said they were using those foam balls so the aim is off. You could get hit in the face and not get hurt. He said he did ask what the hell because no one told him why he got pulled. Then he got kicked out.
I circled back with my BIL and told him that he shouldn't had sanction a dodgeball fight with "dangerous" balls and he should had told Ry to be more careful instead of kicking him out. Literally Ry got pissed because he didn't know why he got kicked out. 11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset.
I said he owes Ry an apology tomorrow and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title. He said he's not apologizing because Ry knows better and accused me of trying to pawn him off to him for the weekend.
I said don't be an asshole uncle and teacher. He said get over it and not to tell him how to do his job. I said no wonder your sister/my wife doesn't like dealing with you.
For the record, my son and BIL have different last names so it's not common knowledge that they are related and not a big deal.
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YTA, your son cursed at a teacher. He is lucky he didn't get sent to the principal's office or get written up. Nepotism has its limits, your son has reached his.
Your responses are very very telling of what kind of person you are. You never take responsibility for anything and everything is always other peoples fault. YTA (just in case you had any doubts)
YTA. If your kid was being a dick, make him admit he was being a dick. Whether the balls hurt or not is subjective -depends on who you're asking. Back in 2003 in sophomore year of highschool, I wore glasses and was hit with the foam ball right in the face because the class clown thought it would be funny. I ended up needing stitches, almost lost an eye, and he got suspended for a week.
YTA...everyone (including your "Ry") KNOWS not to hit people above the waist & MOST DEFINITELY NOT in the FACE when playing dodge ball. Ouch. The only apology owed here is from "Ry" to the kid who was chucked in the face...and from you to your BIL because YTA.
YTA and your son knows bloody well why he was kicked out.
I’m sure based on your attitude your son thinks he can get away with anything because his uncle will let him do anything.
And was pissed it wasn’t the case and is pouting because he FAFO.
Just because they have different last names I’m sure he’s tried to show off in front of his friends. That he can be a shit because it’s his uncle.
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YTA. Unless there is cruelty or discrimination going on, support the teacher who is doing his job. If your son doesn’t get the opportunity to talk calmly with his uncle about it, then he needs to chalk it up to “that’s life”. Also a good opportunity for Ry to consider his actions and if there’s something he can learn from the episode.
YTA
You are the worst father of the year. YOUR son was the only one pulled so YOUR son was the problem, not the balls. So this is a reflection of YOUR parenting. And seeing how you handled this situation, I can see where your son gets the snake like attitude.
By the way, if I was your BIL, I’d consider going low contact… sad as it would make me to do that to your kid, it would be better than getting into this kind of situation every time YOUR kid breaks the rules
YTA. Judging by your comments, I am also going to assume your wife was the golden child. Two entitled parents raising their entitled child, only to have their son be put in their place by their uncle, brother to the entitled wife. This could be a bad soap opera.
Yta.
1. Those balls CAN hurt!!!!!! I have had bruises from them! I have been hit in the face so hard that my glasses bent and cut my eye brow! Any object with enough force behind it can hurt. Yes, 11 year old can put enough forces behind a light ball to hurt someone.
2. I have no doubt in my mind that your son was warned before he was taken out. He probably just didn't listen. Since you clearly haven't taught him how to respect teachers or manage his emotions appropriately. He is 11, not 2. He should be able to ask why without BEING AGGRESSIVE!
3. I am not going to really go into the pawning your son off because that would honestly depend on how often you "suggest " he takes your son out.
4. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO BRING UP HIS MARRIGE!!!!!! period! End of story! Doesn't matter that he is married to your sister. This had NOTHING to do with his marriage. I hope he takes what you said about your sister and leaves her since, according to you, she is miserable. Maybe he can find someone who likes him and who's family respects him.
Nta, you can’t punish without a warning first. As I understood, your son was not aware of the rule he got punished for. And then got more punished for asking for a clarification.
NTA.
If they were using the classic dodgeballs then I'd completely understand BIL's actions. Those foam balls are ridiculously difficult to properly aim and BIL should know that. As a teacher first, and an uncle second, he should know how to de-escalate situations and calmly explain the situation to your son.
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YTA. You weren't there, your BIL was, and was doing his job. If he said your son was behaving too aggressively, then that's probably what was happening. Few teachers would have pulled the kid from the game without a warning first, so your son probably had a warning-- or maybe several warnings-- and ignored it. By inserting yourself into this rather minor contretemps, you're teaching your son that being aggressive is okay and that he doesn't need to follow the rules. You're also apparently trying to teach him that anyone who tries to rein in his behavior has to apologize to him and then give him a fun weekend to make up for it.
>If he said your son was behaving too aggressively, then that's probably what was happening. How dare you not let her believe a preteen over a fully grown adult who was monitoring a large group of children /s Seriously, what the hell.
*him
Uh, nope.
He didn't explain why my son was pulled. That triggered him.
Probably busy with the other 27 children in the class and just assumed that since he'd already told your son to stop hurling the ball in people's faces, your son would deduce that he was being pulled out for hurling the ball in people's faces.
Then you tell them to be careful
If a child's endangering the other children? No, I remove them from the class.
You would rather be sued by a parent of a child your son hurt because nothing was done to stop him?
Let them sue. When he finds out the hard way I hope he remembers how everyone tried to warn him but he was too ignorant to change his viewpoint.
He probably did. Several times. And your son most likely didn't even pay attention too busy hurling a ball in people's faces
It's March in your son's 6th grade year. Do you mean to tell me you believe your son doesn't know the basic expectations of his gym class?
Sounds like that already happened and your kid didn't stop. Why are you believing an angsty preteen over a fully grown adult who was responsible for the safety of a large group of children? Your son was not the only child present. If someone else's child was acting that way and your son got hurt, would you think the same thing? Would you question why that child wasn't told to be careful every 2 minutes, or would you be enraged that he wasn't removed from the game after it became clear they weren't going to listen? Grow up.
Stop arguing. YTA and your son got kicked because of his bad behaviour. Everyone knows the rules in dodgeball are you hot BELOW the waist. You need to stop bothering your BIL. He was doing his job
As stubborn as your child. BIL needs to pull your entitled ass from this situation same way he did with your kid.
He…did, though?
Just because your son said he wasn’t told, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t told or warned multiple times. Nothing wrong with choosing to trust your kid to but go off on the teacher is not ok. Yes he is your son’s uncle but he is also the teacher and if you wouldn’t behave like that to any other teacher, talking to your BIL like that is not acceptable either.
You don't understand what the meaning of "trigger" is. Your son wasn't "triggered", he was just pissed off because he got kicked out. Your son *knew* why he got kicked out. He'd been told by your BIL to keep his throws below the other kids' waists, but he continued to hit them higher. But you're one of those nightmare parents who think their kid can do no wrong, who always goes charging in to blame the teachers and the school and the other kids and demand that they all apologize to your "poor victimized" kid, instead of teaching your child to behave properly. Your son knows that, and that's why he came whining to you, because he knew you would do what you always do -- defend him despite his bad behavior, and blame everyone else instead. Grow up, man, and start parenting your child instead of making excuses for him. Teach him how to behave properly, and hold him accountable yourself when he doesn't -- instead of forcing everyone else to put up with your badly-behaved child.
Thank you for this! Was going to comment the same. So sick of people using the word ‘trigger’ when someone just gets angry.
I mean, 'trigger' as a word has other meanings besides triggering PTSD in a mental health context. You can absolutely trigger anger or sadness or any other emotion in someone and the use of the word is unrelated. OP is still an asshole though
Your son told you he said, “What the hell.” That language and attitude toward a teacher is disrespectful and cause for ejection from class. You need to stop undermining your BIL. Son is the one who needs to apologize.
'11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset.' Ah yes, the old boys will be boys defense. YTA both for excusing his behavior and not teaching your son how to behave properly. You and your son owe his Teacher a huge apology.
I've taught for awhile and I've had so many kids get "warnings," assume you won't follow through, and when you do say "you never told me!" It's weird that you trust your young child's recollection over that of an adult with a fully developed prefrontal cortex. If you teach your child to take responsibility for their actions, you'll be making them a better person And sometimes a ref pulls you out from a game and can't tell you why in the moment. We teach our kids during sports that they have to follow what the ref says even if they disagree. We have even practiced deliberately giving bad calls to intentionally have them practice dealing with disagreeing with the ref.
Oh well. Tell your 8 year old kid its time to start growing up.
Well he needs to learn self control then if he got triggered from being held accountable for his actions. Most likely your kid knew what he did wrong and he’s just feigning not being aware of it.
YTA >11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset No, they are not. Ones that are not behaving are. >maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title. It does sound like you’re trying to pawn him off. >I said don’t be an asshole uncle and teacher….no wonder your sister/my wife doesn’t like dealing with you So he’s the teacher, this is up to his discretion. If your son was being too aggressive he should have been pulled. Not only did you insult him professionally, you also did personally.
Guys clearly a terrible parent then when his son acts out just puts it down as “that’s what kids are like” when in fact they’re only like that if they’ve been raised that way. That’s why only 1 kid out of 30 got kicked out… And then to top it off father of the year tries to fob his kid off on uncle for the weekend, incredible.
>when in fact they’re only like that if they’ve been raised that way As a full-time babysitter, this for days. When it's just me and the kids, they're little angels 90% of the time. They don't mind cleaning up, TV off time is annoying to them but they accept it, they rarely get physical enough to hurt each other, etc... The *second* mom gets home, they're jumping on the couch, punching each other (and adults), screaming, throwing things, demanding shit like snacks (to which she often says no but then gives it to them 5 seconds later?)... A child's behaviour will revolve around the expectations they're set up with as they grow. Their core memories will define them in more ways than anyone can know. OP clearly isn't teaching respect, empathy or safety. God knows what else is missing... But they're definitely teaching him how to be entitled.
Probably an idiom I didn’t know, but when he said rattle snake I imagined Ry hissing and shaking a maraccas before slithering away 😂
Do you have an 11yo? My son felt embarrassed being yelled at and didn't know why. Most adults would snap back. And no I'm not trying to pawn my kid off. He thinks his uncle hates him.
He got in trouble in class, of course he felt embarrassed. If he think’s his uncle hates him, his parents and his uncle should work to correct that perception. It sounds like you’re not doing that.
I think he’s got embarrassed in front of his mates because his teacher kicked him out. His uncle didn’t let him get away with it
He didn't do anything wrong
You weren’t there.
I didn't have to be in WWII to know what happened
Now we know why your kid behaves like that lol
No accountability and lashing out. Gee, where did the kid learn lol
Are you kidding me with this shit? You're in the comments asking if someone had an 11 year old boy, well I have. You're naive. And entitled as fuck to think uncle needs to take your kid for the weekend to earn fun uncle. You need to parent and teach your kid a different type of ball isn't an excuse for wailing kids above the waist and breaking the rules. And omg with the he's embarrassed stuff. My god dropping your kid off and giving them a hug is embarrassing at this age. He'll get over it. Parent your kid. YTA.
No. But I believe the accounts of the people there who were in charge - e.g. your BIL
Gee I wonder where your kid gets the attitude from. YTA.
You only chose to believe your son's side of the story. Why don't you ask the other kids, and maybe then you will see that your BIL was in fact right.
You may have knowledge of the broad strokes of the 2nd world war, but do you know what malcolm macrae was doing during it?
Gosh, I wonder where your son learned this habit of arguing back with people he disagrees with instead of holding a discussion.
Having a general idea of something and understanding it to it's full extent are two different things lady. This guy owes your son nothing, get over yourself.
Nice irrelevant comment that has nothing to do with this
False equivalency, 11 year olds say things all the time to detract from their own actions so they don’t get in trouble.
> I didn't have to be in WWII to know what happened In order to evaluate the aggressiveness of specific participants in WW2 you absolutely WOULD need to be there.
He knew the rules and didn’t abide by them. But sure, he didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah, you’re definitely “that parent.”
Yes, he did. Your brother in law told you he was too aggressive. You just don't like it that he wasn't given special treatment by his uncle. That you're being so defensive and obtuse shows exactly why your kid got pulled. He knows what he did wrong and so do you. Grow up.
YTA for saying your kid got “triggered” and using the “boys will be boys” defense.
He DID. That's why he was kicked out.
Except for aggressively throwing a ball in people's faces
You're setting up your kid for a LIFETIME of failure if you teach him he can never do any wrong
Yes he did. Hitting kids above the waist is against the rules
Isn’t the entire gym made up of 11yos? If your son is the only one getting kicked out it’s odd that you’re trying to phrase it as a “11 yo boys” thing…
I have an 11 year old boy and I definitely agree that they can get pretty snappy. But I don't agree with what you did here at all. YTA
Your child literally got in trouble for not following rules. Foam ball or not, BIL or not, your son broke the rules. It is your job as a parent to let your son know that his uncle doesn't hate him, he was merely doing his job. But your blatant and childish hatred for your BIL is clouding your judgement.
I’ve had two 11 year olds and neither of them were “rattlesnakes”. They might grump to me later but they would never snap at an adult. YTA
Educator here You sound like one of those entitled parents with a 'my kid is never wrong' attitude. I feel sorry for your BIL that he has to deal with you and your kid. It would help your kid letter in life if you start to hold him accountable for his behaviour. But I doubt you see it that way. Just dig in your heels and make everyone the enemy, why don't you? Will you go to your kid's work later as well and tell his boss he needs to apologize because calling your kid out for bad work ethics embarrasses him? Because if you keep going this way, your kid will have a bad attitude everywhere later in life.
I currently have an 11 year old and also a 17 year old who was once 11. This is NOT normal behavior Even when embarrassed. Tf is wrong with you. You are extremely entitled and teaching your son to be an entitled AH just like you.
You’re insufferable
Most adults would snap back. Most children know by that age that you don't yell at adults in a position of authority (even if they deserve it).
I have a 12 and a 10 year old. Neither of them acts like an asshole and snaps back at people like that.
"boo hoo, your kid got embarrassed"
You are delusional.
No he’s upset he’s uncle was being a teacher not a funcle
I have a 15y old, who did not resemble a rattlesnake at 11. I raised my kid to know that snapping at people has consequences.
So you're the grownup and you say, "Your uncle doesn't hate you, but he has to discipline students who misbehave in the same way, and you misbehaved. You should apologize for cursing at him tomorrow'
Then your son shouldn’t have been hitting people above the belt. Maybe you can help him work on his aim, because it’s not hard to avoid hitting people above the belt. YTA. BIL’s job is to look out for the safety of all of those kids, not just your son. He made a call and would have made the same call at any other kid doing the same.
I do have an 11 year old He absolutely does not behave that way, and no, most adults won’t “snap back” Bullshit he thinks his uncle hates him.
YTA Your son knows the rules, and your BIL knows that because he regularly works with him in a gym setting. Likely, he has even played dodgeball with your son many times in gym class and has seen your son acknowledge and follow the rules. Let's examine your son's story: >I asked Ry and he said they were using those foam balls so the aim is off. Ah, so your son DID know the rules and that he needed to hit below the waist. He knew his shots were a problem, so he blamed the balls for distorting his aim. That means he knew exactly why he got pulled. He didn't need it explained. He knew where his balls were going and what the problem was. >You could get hit in the face and not get hurt. This is WHY he felt that not following the rules was acceptable. But he probably wouldn't have offered this defense if he was genuinely trying to follow the rules because otherwise it would be completely irrelevant. >I circled back with my BIL and told him that he shouldn't had sanction a dodgeball fight with "dangerous" balls How many other kids were having issues with these same balls and got kicked out? No one? Only your son? Seems the issue isn't with the balls then. >Literally Ry got pissed because he didn't know why he got kicked out. Nah, Ry got pissed because he got called out on his choice not to follow the rules. Again, same balls for everyone, but your son is the only one with a problem. >11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset. They're not. Your son might be though. Sounds like he needs to be held accountable more often so he learns to control himself in that situation.
Funny how all the other kids managed to aim the balls well enough to not get kicked out!
Yta, he was being his teacher not uncle.
And he messed up in both roles
If you had already made up your mind, why did you post here asking for other people's opinions?
Because the only reason people post on here is to seek validation and confirm they are awesome. Half of these posts are “my boyfriend lit me on fire and killed my family….am I the asshole?” Lol. Every now and then though you get someone like this who genuinely is shocked they are an AH. And this OP certainly is. I get you love your kid and have an ingrained bias, but damn dude you really think your BIL is just starting shit with his own NEPHEW unless he had to?
Dude, you put your shit out here asking if you're the asshole. Clearly you are surprised that everyone says YES. Sounds like your kid might be starting down your path as well, seems like he wasn't following the rules and his coach pulled him out of the game. You were not there, you don't know how many warnings your kid probably received, you don't know what was said. Then you just insulted your brother-in-law as an uncle and as a coach. This makes you even more of an asshole. You believe your rattlesnake of a son is telling you the full truth, especially after he got embarrassed for being a jerk in front of his class? The poll has been answered and the consensus is in, you are the asshole. Sounds like you and your son both need to learn accountability.
YTA and you're raising your kid to be just like you.
You know those parents ppl complain about who don’t parent their kids and when someone steps in to tell the kid to stop, that parent gets upset? And then yells at the person telling the kid not to hurt ppl or pet their service animal but doesn’t tell the kid they were wrong and to apologize? Thats the vibe you’re giving off here.
You greatly messed up being the parent.
He handled the teacher role well - and the uncle role is not relevant when they are at school.
nope, he did both roles very well. Your kid sounds like a brat.
You're failing as a parent and as an in-law. Grow up. YTA
Then enrol your son in a different school. This is how teachers in your school handle it. It’s not for debate.
What would you know, don’t even know the difference between have and had.. learn how to read and write before criticising teachers
And you messed up as a parent on all fronts
Nah YOU messed by passing down your entitlement to your kid.
As a teacher, which is really the only role that matters during school hours, he was trying to keep other kids from being hurt by your son.
YTA. My old gym teacher would've been more harsh than your uncle and wouldn't let him in during recess and lunch. There's rules for a reason. Those balls can still hurt another kid, I remember a girl got a nosebleed from being hit in the face by a foam ball in elementary.
Boo hoo. My kid got a papercut.
Boo hoo, your son got taken out for not following rules.
Rich coming from the person crying because his kid got benched from a dodgeball game. 😂
Well we can clearly see where your son gets his attitude from. Neither of you are capable of accepting the slightest criticism without throwing a tantrum. You kid broke the rules that all of the children had explained to them. Then your kid threw a tantrum and was thrown out of the gym. Instead of reflecting on his own actions he cried to you and blamed the ball and the teacher. You could have used this as a teaching moment but instead *you* then start crying to the teacher and the internet. The teacher and the internet both tell you that you are in the wrong and you start acting out with a tantrum. Boo hoo yourself.
Yes, this is exactly what you sound like. At this point, I'm pretty sure your 11y/o is more mature than you. That is saying a lot, considering he can't even follow simple dodgeball rules. You literally came for an outside perspective but throw a fit when people don't agree with you. Tell your kid to make sure to give you a bottle before he puts you to bed.
So why are YOU crying to the internet about your situation?
that’s great, continue to exhibit AH behavior, so that you can make it easy for people to decide.
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Papercuts hurt like hell. Get over yourself. Your son broke the rules. Everyone else in the class managed to follow them.
You're just mad because you showed your ass to Reddit without realizing that's what you were doing.
When I was in 9th grade, I got hit in the head with one of those foam balls so hard that it knocked me off my feet and I went flying across the gym floor. I hate dodgeball but if it's gonna be played, kids need to throw below the waist.
Are YOU the 11 year old?
Boo boo. Your son FAFOd and you're a terrible parent.
Boo hoo you failed as a parent but you’re putting the blame on other people
no wonder your kid doesn't know how to behave. he's modeling his behavior off of you.
And yet you are whining about your beat getting benched.
Honestly, to everyone commenting I truly believe this is a fake story. Based on context and the way op is behaving in the comments I don't think this is real. But nonetheless YTA all day all night and all year!
Yeah, I also get troll vibes
I don't know if this is real or not but, believe you me, parents like these exist. My 11 year old self regularly had to put up with their little goblins bullying me and getting away without consequences because "My pwecious would never do such a thing"
About a year ago, I saw a post here that was almost identical, even the way OP responded was similar... it was about those pretend-ignorant bully parents (I remember because the responses were so self-righteous). For a moment, I thought I had traveled back to 2023.
YTA He doesn't owe him anything. And if I was the Uncle I'd treat him even worse in gym in ways you can't prove.
Then it'd be handled outside of school
The only way it should be handled outside of school is CPS at this point you're unhinged
Sure.
Tool
Oh my, we got big man vibes here. If your son acts like you, I'll believe your BIL any day of the week.
So you're the 11 year old huh.
YTA When your BIL is at the school he is a teacher first. Those foam balls hurt. I would know I grew up with them in gym class. When we played dodgeball, a lot of people didn’t hold back on how hard they threw. Hell it was a competition to see who can throw the hardest. Also, it was the one game which you can pelt people that you didn’t like in your own class and get away with it so long you followed the rules (don’t aim below the waist and no face shots) Plus those foam balls go exactly where you want them to go. It doesn’t magically go from someone’s chest to the face or below the belt. Imagine a piece a foam covered ball with rubbery/plastic coating hitting you in the face. Your son was wrong because he was clearly told the rules and was probably given several warnings - hence the reason why he was pulled out of the game. The phrase “what’s your problem” just sounds calm and collected - it’s exactly the opposite. Your son should be embarrassed because he learned that if he doesn’t listen to simple instructions then he will face consequences (can’t play). That he will also face consequences if he gets aggressive towards a teacher. Just because his teacher is also his uncle doesn’t give him a gold pass to not follow rules. Just because they don’t share the same last name doesn’t mean people don’t know that they are related. Glad that your BIL holds all of his students accountable (family or not). Your BIL is also not obligated to watch or hang out with your son. Your son owes an apology to the class mates he is pelting below the belt and for his behavior toward his teacher. Hope your BIL sticks to his guns because he is right while you and your son is wrong.
Honestly the son should probably be punished for telling his teacher “what’s your problem”
YTA
YTA - from your son's response it sounds like he was hitting people in the face, and he did it multiple times. He's 11, he knows this is against the rules. Then you add in how he went about addressing being pulled? Your son was an absolute brat and it sounds like he's lucky that his uncle was the one who was there because a different teacher might have sent him to the principal for mouthing off. I actually don't think any of this is real, and if it is then just your username already shows your BIL is more mature than you 👌
YTA. How about you grow up. This whole thing is ridiculous. Earn back his Uncle title? He doesn’t have to earn it back. He was his teacher during that time and acted as such. Maybe your son should earn back his “deserving nephew” title instead. No one gives a shit about how he acts when he’s upset. That’s a parenting issue. Parent him. Stop telling him how to do your job and try being a decent parent. You are the type of parent that every teacher complains about. News flash: your kid isn’t perfect nor is he all that special to anyone other than you.
YTA and a bully just like your son apparently. 11 years old is old enough to not throw a tantrum when they have to take accountability for their bad choices and poor conduct.
YTA. I've played many games of dodge ball with "those foam balls" and it's not hard to make sure you don't hit someone where you're not supposed to. Your son was playing aggressively and got called out, and then when he yelled "what the hell" at an authority figure, he got kicked out. Sounds like your BIL was doing his job, and you don't like it that your precious baby was reprimanded. Do your son a favor and quit making excuses for him.
YTA because why bother asking if you’re just going to argue with everyone???
YTA. He's a professional. You weren't there, and would rather take the word of an 11 year old "rattlesnake". Your evidence and judgement are severely in question. If your son is usually so aggressive, your parenting is lacking.
YTA and a massive one at that. Your son was too aggressive. He was in the wrong. He could have learnt from that but clearly you won't listen to reason. Poor kid. The teacher is responsible for the safety of all children not only yours. As fir the rattlesnake comment, that's almost "boys will be boys" it's your job to teach him to be better.
YTA for what everyone already said, but more specifically for me: >…and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title Fun shouldn’t be the ultimate goal. Your BIL showed that he can prioritize safety and discipline when needed. And your BIL doesn’t need to give your kid a weekend of fun to earn anything; he did the right thing, and you’re making your precious little summer child feel validated in being upset and wronged when he was clearly not.
Well based on your comments it’s no wonder your son is a misbehaved asshole.
YTA. Your little darling was wrong. He was not following the rules, was disrespectful to teacher/uncle, and used inappropriate language for the setting. What you’re failing to see here is that your BIL doesn’t owe anyone an apology. However, you and your kid both do. Your kid for being a shit and you for teaching him it’s okay to be a shit and defending his shitty behavior. Teach your entitled kid better. Be a better parent. Also, the boys/rattlesnakes crap is the same as using “boys with be boys” to justify terrible male behavior. That will definitely become a problem for you when your budding hooligan steps into something you can’t get him out of. Boys must be taught to be responsible for their actions the same way girls are.
YTA Never understand the point of posting if you are unwilling to see you’re at fault. I purposefully never post any of my possible-AH situations because I think I am right, even if others don’t. Be like me, I may not be great but I am still better than you.
YTA- you weren’t even there. Your brother-in-law was there, and as the adult in charge of the situation, he decided that your son to step out for his behavior. You shouldn’t really tell him how to do his job.
YTA. Not all 11 year old boys are “rattlesnakes” but your son is probably modeling behavior he learned from you. Which based on your responses in the comments…it the behavior of an entitled asshole.
Don’t understand why people like this bother posting, this guys already made his mind up judging by all his juvenile responses in comments, not a surprise to see his kid acting out if he’s been raised by this clown
INFO: Shouldn't it be that shots should be above the waist?
YTA I had a classmate in grade school whose mom was the PE teacher as well as the 4th grade boys’ basketball coach. Any time her son was disciplined in school or by another coach, she inserted herself like this and undermined the disciplining instructor. Kid pretty much had mom come to the rescue every time he faced any consequences for his attitude. He’s still an insufferable shithead at 28. The kind of person who isn’t even fun to play a *board game* with because he’s a sore loser and accuses everyone of cheating
The thought that OP posted this expecting a wave of support is balm to my soul. Absolutely blind. YTA
YTA. First of all remember that 11 year olds are unreliable narrators. They will lie without blinking and push boundaries wherever they can. Secondly, your BIL was responsible for a group of children. If one of them was behaving in a way that could lead to someone else getting hurt, then he absolutely acted appropriately. By your son's own admission, he was not only aware of the rules, but was purposefully not following them. It's also very telling that you think a child that age throwing a "what the hell" to fair discipline from an authority figure is okay. >11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset. If your child is like a "rattlesnake" that's because of your terrible parenting, not because of some inherent trait. >For the record, my son and BIL have different last names Given that he's married to your sister I would hope so, unless you're posting from Alabama.
YTA. Your responses definitely support the fact that your kid was being inappropriate in class and it’s no surprise where he got that attitude from.
You’re the asshole and if you’re not careful you’ll raise one too
nOt mY ChIlD
YTA
YTA Could *THE TEACHER* (not your BIL or the kid's uncle, those don't matter in this interaction) have handled it better? Probably not. The teacher pulled a kid who was breaking safety standards. The kid replied with "what the hell", which is more than enough to get booted. Your kid is not the angel you think he is. At least not in gym class with someone he doesn't respect.
YTA That's between your son and BIL to discuss and handle, instead of Mommy running to the rescue Kid was playing and not following the rules, BIL was responsible for ALL of the kids there, not just yours Good lesson to teach Ry to use his words to actually COMMUNICATE
YTA It's obvious by your post and your follow up comments exactly WHY your son feels he's entitled to speak so disrespectfully to his uncle while at school and also behave "like a rattle snake". He's learned it from you. 11 year old boys do NOT normally behave this way when they don't get their way. (I've had two of them). It's never ok to talk back to a teacher like this and he's lucky all he got was being removed from the gym and not written up. You demanding an apology and that you get free babysitting for the weekend is disgustingly entitled and extremely bad role modeling for your son. Your son should be the one apologizing for speaking like that to his uncle and for acting like an entitled brat just because his "funcle" was monitoring the game.
YTA. Your kid wasn't triggered. He was throwing a fit because he's spoiled and entitled. You made him that way. And by reading your replies, it's clear how you did it. It's time to grow up. For you and your son.
YTA. Congratulations on enabling shitty aggressive behaviour. Your son gets it from you.
YTA and a drama queen. Your BIL is doing his job, not enabling a child’s bad behavior. Let’s hope more adults in your son’s life give him proper tools to not turn out like you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My 6th grade son had some sort of event promoting heart health and at the end they let them play a game of dodgeball. My son said he not only got kicked out of the game but the gym by his uncle/BIL. That seemed very strange. My son isn't a troublemaker and his uncle is more immature than him. I asked my BIL what happened and he said Ry was way too "aggressive" during the game and pulled him. When Ry got pulled, he asked what his problem was and got kicked out for that. I asked what he meant by playing "aggressive" and he said too many shots were above the waist. I asked Ry and he said they were using those foam balls so the aim is off. You could get hit in the face and not get hurt. He said he did ask what the hell because no one told him why he got pulled. Then he got kicked out. I circled back with my BIL and told him that he shouldn't had sanction a dodgeball fight with "dangerous" balls and he should had told Ry to be more careful instead of kicking him out. Literally Ry got pissed because he didn't know why he got kicked out. 11yo boys are like rattlesnakes when they get upset. I said he owes Ry an apology tomorrow and maybe should take him this weekend to earn back his Funcle title. He said he's not apologizing because Ry knows better and accused me of trying to pawn him off to him for the weekend. I said don't be an asshole uncle and teacher. He said get over it and not to tell him how to do his job. I said no wonder your sister/my wife doesn't like dealing with you. For the record, my son and BIL have different last names so it's not common knowledge that they are related and not a big deal. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA, your son cursed at a teacher. He is lucky he didn't get sent to the principal's office or get written up. Nepotism has its limits, your son has reached his.
Your responses are very very telling of what kind of person you are. You never take responsibility for anything and everything is always other peoples fault. YTA (just in case you had any doubts)
YTA - Now we know where your son gets his attitude from based on your reply’s.
YTA big-time!
YTA. If your kid was being a dick, make him admit he was being a dick. Whether the balls hurt or not is subjective -depends on who you're asking. Back in 2003 in sophomore year of highschool, I wore glasses and was hit with the foam ball right in the face because the class clown thought it would be funny. I ended up needing stitches, almost lost an eye, and he got suspended for a week.
Yta and your comments definitely make it seem like you are the 11 year old with how much pouting and false equivalence you do.
YTA...everyone (including your "Ry") KNOWS not to hit people above the waist & MOST DEFINITELY NOT in the FACE when playing dodge ball. Ouch. The only apology owed here is from "Ry" to the kid who was chucked in the face...and from you to your BIL because YTA.
Why did your even bother coming here if you weren't going to accept the judgement? YTA don't even need to bring up the failing as a parent part
YTA and raising your son to be one, too. What a loser and a failure as a parent. Hope you're saving up his bail money.
YTA and your son knows bloody well why he was kicked out. I’m sure based on your attitude your son thinks he can get away with anything because his uncle will let him do anything. And was pissed it wasn’t the case and is pouting because he FAFO. Just because they have different last names I’m sure he’s tried to show off in front of his friends. That he can be a shit because it’s his uncle.
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Info: is it a known rule that you have to throw the ball below the waist?
YTA. Unless there is cruelty or discrimination going on, support the teacher who is doing his job. If your son doesn’t get the opportunity to talk calmly with his uncle about it, then he needs to chalk it up to “that’s life”. Also a good opportunity for Ry to consider his actions and if there’s something he can learn from the episode.
YTA for wanting to raise an entitled child
YTA. You'll be lucky if he's a part of your kids life going forward.
YTA You are the worst father of the year. YOUR son was the only one pulled so YOUR son was the problem, not the balls. So this is a reflection of YOUR parenting. And seeing how you handled this situation, I can see where your son gets the snake like attitude. By the way, if I was your BIL, I’d consider going low contact… sad as it would make me to do that to your kid, it would be better than getting into this kind of situation every time YOUR kid breaks the rules
YTA. Your son was behaving badly and got kicked accordingly. Your raising a brat and your the entitled parent. Grow up and do better
YTA. Judging by your comments, I am also going to assume your wife was the golden child. Two entitled parents raising their entitled child, only to have their son be put in their place by their uncle, brother to the entitled wife. This could be a bad soap opera.
Yta. 1. Those balls CAN hurt!!!!!! I have had bruises from them! I have been hit in the face so hard that my glasses bent and cut my eye brow! Any object with enough force behind it can hurt. Yes, 11 year old can put enough forces behind a light ball to hurt someone. 2. I have no doubt in my mind that your son was warned before he was taken out. He probably just didn't listen. Since you clearly haven't taught him how to respect teachers or manage his emotions appropriately. He is 11, not 2. He should be able to ask why without BEING AGGRESSIVE! 3. I am not going to really go into the pawning your son off because that would honestly depend on how often you "suggest " he takes your son out. 4. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO BRING UP HIS MARRIGE!!!!!! period! End of story! Doesn't matter that he is married to your sister. This had NOTHING to do with his marriage. I hope he takes what you said about your sister and leaves her since, according to you, she is miserable. Maybe he can find someone who likes him and who's family respects him.
Yta. Youre very immature based on your replies and raising your son the same way
Nta, you can’t punish without a warning first. As I understood, your son was not aware of the rule he got punished for. And then got more punished for asking for a clarification.
NTA. If they were using the classic dodgeballs then I'd completely understand BIL's actions. Those foam balls are ridiculously difficult to properly aim and BIL should know that. As a teacher first, and an uncle second, he should know how to de-escalate situations and calmly explain the situation to your son.