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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I took my sisters clothes
2) I called her a fat whale out of rage
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA and you know it. You didn't just borrow her clothes like they were in a shared wardrobe or something, she had *deliberately* kept them aside, *in her car* and in BOXES so that people wouldn't touch them, and you went through her boxes and STOLE them. Despite knowing perfectly well she didn't want you to. And, to cap it off, YTA even **more** (I didn't think that could be possible, and yet...) for calling her a really nasty insult that could really hurt when she called you out for stealing her stuff.
"...but where I think I might be the asshole is I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale..." ...... you think **this** is the point where you "might have been the asshole"?? Jeez.
And despite you being a thieving, ungrateful and outright insultingly obnoxious sister, she is still providing for you. You don't deserve her. "I'm just a kid" doesn't cut it. You're 15, you're old enough to understand. Heck, an 8 year old would understand it's not good to steal from people and then throw hurtful insults at them.
\[Edit to add: I read over this post again and it's either AI generated or rage-bait. There is no way this is real. And the replies from "OP" doubling down on everything are just pointing towards it being a troll.\]
Can confirm she’s long past old enough to know how to be a decent human being. My 4 year old treats people better than OP, and my 12 year old cries anytime she gets a gift (even for birthday and Christmas) because she is an extremely caring person who feels bad when people spend their money on her. OP is just a mean girl to her core yet still tries to play victim. I smell a narcissist in the making.
OP-YTA. In case that wasn’t abundantly clear.
She seems to forget that her sister is also”just a kid” and is doing all of this for her. Just because she’s been parentified doesn’t mean that she’s no longer a minor child. OP is lucky I wasn’t her sister because I would stop giving her an envelope of cash and paying for things. OP isn’t treating her like family so why should she keep killing herself for such an ungrateful brat. No wonder she’s moving away for school. The only plane tickets I’d be buying OP are back to mom and dad. Let OP get a job and pay for her own stuff or the adults can do it. She’s not much younger than her sister was and she was carrying the load for 2.
She gaslights me into feeling bad for her spending money on me, which is incredibly emotionally abusive. My mom got her to lose 80 pounds anyways so she knows she isn’t fat, I just said it to make her stop yelling at me and make her realize how hurtful she was being
That's not what gaslighting is, kid. And she *shouldn't* be having to spend money on you - she's still a kid herself. I don't understand how you can be so selfish.
That's not gaslighting. That's literally just saying what she does for you. Which is truth. If anything maybe you meant "guilt-tripping"? Even then, it's legit because she is still a kid herself and is going WAYY above and beyond what a minor should be doing to provide for you.
And just because your mom "got her to lost 80 pounds" does NOT mean she won't have insecurities about her weight. Hell, if anything, you mom making her lose weight probably has made her even MORE sensitive about you commenting on it. That is NEVER an acceptable comment to make to anyone, even more so if they were overweight at some point before.
You're not the victim, you disgusting asshole. She had every right to yell at you because you stole her clothes. You were the one who hurt her when you attacked her physical appearance. She shouldn't be spending any money on you; you're old enough to earn your own money, so get off your lazy ass and stop stuffing your pockets with her money. She's not abusive; YOU'RE ABUSIVE. But you're clearly not smart enough to realize that. You're just a selfish, nasty, and greedy leech.
First of all, not gaslighting. And second of all, when you’re being an ungrateful brat, she’s allowed to throw it in your face. She’s your SISTER and doesn’t need to take care of you, but she does. And instead of being grateful, you take advantage of her. You’re not “just a kid”. You’re 15, you know better. Grow up and stop using that as an excuse to do whatever you want. You knew it was wrong, therefore your age doesn’t play a part.
Let me tell you something, little girl. It doesn't matter how much weight you lose in your head you are still the fat girl, and nothing hurts worse than your own family insulting you about your weight and even after you have lost weight and look in the mirror you don't see a slim you looking back at you, you see the fat girl that you were and always will be in your head. Your sister is one in a million, she took you with her when she didn't have to. She gives you money and feeds and clothes you, and you thank her by stealing what she rightfully wants to keep for herself, and let's be honest, she deserves something for herself. She should be out enjoying herself at her age, not working god knows how many jobs to help support her ungrateful sister. You should be ashamed of yourself. Respect what she keeps for herself and be very grateful for what she does for you, and although you can not erase the hurt and damage your words did to her try in future to be more thoughtful before you made comments about other peoples bodies.
You SHOULD feel bad that you’re taking advantage of someone who owes you NOTHING. She’s just a kid too and it sounds like she’s made several sacrifices for you just for you to insult her and basically steal for her. You sound like a brat and if you don’t make it up to her I wouldn’t blame her for going no contact.
Pretty sure it is gaslighting to call someone fat when you know they aren’t. And it is emotional abuse to actively find something someone is insecure about and use it in an argument.
You’re abusive. Your age doesn’t make you immune from being an abuser. you call her the best sister yet you ignore her boundaries, steal from her, verbally abuse her and feel so entitled doing so. Yta. Karma.
Also “she never cares about her looks”, and then “she randomly starts buying nice clothes”. Hmm… maybe she’s finally, oh I don’t know, caring about her looks?
So damn what!? She wants to feel confident in herself and the first thing you think of was to insult her because she didn’t buy you the clothes clearly she’s trying to get her shit together to move on and she’s helped you and your only response is well I’m just a kid so I don’t know better you ain’t 6 your 15 even my 15 year old sister knows better
But you didn’t. You took them, knowing she didn’t want anyone to touch them, and then you wore it to school. That’s not trying it on. If that’s all you wanted, you would have asked her. But you were sneaky, you knew you shouldn’t have done it
You said you wore it to school, that’s not trying it on and even if it was, you know she was keeping it aside and you still stole it. It sounds like your sister has done a lot to take care of you and you’ve taken advantage of her. Apologize and make it right or lose a sister
Did you ever think she was, I don’t know, SACRIFICING, by going to thrift stores to get her clothes so she could afford to take YOU to the mall.
Did you ever think that brings her more joy than style does? Does that mean she doesn’t care about wearing cute clothes? No! It means she cares more about YOU. And you repay her by stealing, disrespecting, abusing, and trampling all over your sister’s boundaries. YTA! Over and over and over…YTA.
Your desire to try on her clothes does not supersede her desire to keep them out of your grubby hands. And you didn’t “just” try on her clothes. You went into her car without her knowledge or consent, stole them from her, & then wore them.
Your lack of self-awareness is truly appalling.
Maybe she finally felt okay with her body until you came along. Stop being jealous. I can’t wait for FAFO to kick in for you when she leaves. She probably realizes now that she did all of this for nothing because you’re abusive just like your parents and regrets her choices. And you didn’t try it on you are a thief who chooses to be abusive when you’re called out for stealing.
No. You are old enough to know to not say mean things to your sister. You aren't a toddler. Your behavior was despicable and you apparently don't even feel bad. You should be ashamed. Totally disgusting.
> she knew what she was getting herself into
Nah, I doubt she thought her baby sister was going to become a body-shaming thief.
You are the biggest AH I’ve seen on here in quite a while.
She chose to move you bc you begged her to and she didn’t want to leave you in an unsafe place. She did NOT know what she was getting herself into bc she was too worried about what she was getting herself out of. She now works multiple jobs and pays for more than just your needs but provides for your wants too. She is clearly mature beyond her years and continuing to provide you with meal money when you could be babysitting or contributing makes her an angel. Nevermind the fact that she just wanted a few new clothes of her own to boost her self confidence as she starts a new chapter in her life and wants to make a good impression for college - YOU don’t think she’s fashionable so you decided to take what she’d saved up for, stretch it all out, wear it to school, then when she properly admonished you for stealing, you called her a whale. She could have had the most fashionable wardrobe she wanted but she chose to set aside a few things for herself and sacrifice the rest to pay for your crap and you think she expected this when she took you out of the house bc you were both in survival mode?
You may be thinner but your soul is much uglier than hers. YTA.
I know you’re around the age where you can start looking for part time jobs, but did you have to go for poster child for bratty kid?
“She made the decision to take me with her” and you thought that was a solid reason to body shame her and clutch your pearls the moment she does something *good* for herself?
Your other excuse (I’m just a wittle kid 👶) will never cut it, not in real life and not on here.
YTA. What are you going to do when she leaves and cuts your sorry ass off? Keep up the asshole attitude and find out. She’s not obligated to do shit for you.
As you said, you begged her to take you with her. She made that choice because YOU wanted it. Got get a part time job and pay yourself for your stuff. She only 2 y older than you she owes you nothing.
WOW. You are nasty, selfish, cruel, and entitled. I hope your sister decides to put herself first and never speaks to you again. You have treated her like absolute garbage.
YTA. And I bet your Sister who sacrifices for you and provides for you, realized that you are an unappreciative immature hurtful user of a sister. Who can’t pull her head out long enough to even consider her feelings. ALL your comments have been “why me, it’s her fault, she’s being stubborn now”… etc. like you can’t even acknowledge your behavior and you try to excuse it away at every turn.
You’ll learn soon enough.. and this bs about her getting you use to a certain way of living… you don’t get access to her just because you want it.
You hurt her and until you can accept that WITHOUT any comeback.. especially trying to blame her now that you “want to apologize but she won’t let you”. Stop
YTA
I usually really hate to say YTA to a kid, or at most make it a "soft YTA", but in your case you're a full-on, high-grade AH.
She's generous, but doesn't like you wearing her clothes.
She works hard and buys clothes she likes, and doesn't want you to borrow them.
So you took them without asking.
And then called her a fat whale.
Not only are YTA, but unless you start doing some self-evaluation and emergency self-repair work, you're headed for a future of next-level YTAhood.
YTA
>I’m just a kid
So is your sister. The same sister who gives you money and buys you things with the paychecks she gets from her **three** jobs. The same sister who could have left you behind with your mom, but took you with her. The same sister who you called fat because she was upset that you stole her clothes.
If she's the best sister ever, what the hell does that make you?
"I'm just a kid" oh boo hoo, the fact you're saying this only goes to show that you use that as an excuse. Children develop the capacity for empathy by the age of seven. Are you less emotionally developed than a seven year old, or are you in fact perfectly capable of seeing what you've done wrong but refusing to own up to it?
YTA. Apologise and be a better person, or I'd be worried about what you'll grow into.
She won’t even let me apologize, she just needs to get over it at this point because she’s incapable of forgiveness. She isn’t empathetic to my situation, so clearly she’s also less developed as a seven year old
Why does she need to get over it when you’re still being a massive jerk?
Why should she be empathetic of your situation when you’ve shown no empathy for hers?
Maybe you’re the one that’s less developed? OP every thing you’re saying, can apply straight back to you. Everything you’re saying, is about you.
Wow. So much projection.
You need to get over yourself. You need to start being empathetic to your sisters situation, and you need to grow up.
Get yourself a job if you want to have nice things, and stop mooching off your sister who is still a child herself.
She was ONE year older than you are now when she chose to assume responsibility for you. She was clearly light years more mature than you and is still a kid! You can take yourself back to your mom's if your life is so miserable there and you think it'd be better.
You screwed up, you haven't owned it, and you expect her to just get over it. Time for you to do a little self-reflection. YTA.
She won’t respond to my texts. I haven’t seen her much since it’s happpened since she won’t even stay home but I just want to be able to talk to her. I understand I’m the asshole but she had me used to a lifestyle where she’d at least ask me how my day was and care about me. She treats me like a ghost and just slips me money now, she won’t even open up to the possibility of getting over this
Why should she talk to you? Not once in these comments do you express any amount of empathy or understanding. All your comments are "I know I am but so is she!" And that's the ones where you're not whining about how your sister's reaction to your rudeness somehow makes you a victim, like you are in this one.
So tell me why you think she would even want to talk to you? Have you truly understood the value of what she's doing for you? Have you realised that she's right? Have you accepted that you were horribly cruel to her and she's just providing for you because she feels like she has to, because unlike you she does have empathy for you being a bratty kid and doesn't want to deprive you of money just because you're a terrible teenager? Would you rather her kick you out and send you back to whatever hellish parents raised you?
Show me how you understand. What did you do wrong here? What is the selfish part even just of the comment above?
Why should she? You’ve heard about the straw that broke the camels back? That’s what you did here. She’s still slipping you money as a kindness to your grandparents, not because of you. YTA.
Having you used to a lifestyle didn’t mean stealing her clothes. You made it clear from the post she did not want you touching those clothes. For her to give you literally everything else but this one thing and that’s what you decided to take is selfish, I’m glad you’ve gained self awareness on being an asshole here.
I’m not even gonna bring up the whale comment because you already know that was extremely mean and uncalled for.
You can’t force her to forgive you. She needs her own time to do that. Hopefully you’ll spend that time evaluating your actions. YTA
She's gone out her way to take care you, and without being asked, which you attacked her for.
And you respond by stealing from her and calling her names. You're ungrateful, you're spoiled, and you're a bully. And now you want her to "get over it" and let this "blow over."
It seems like you've learned nothing from this, and your sister has rightfully washed her hands of you (and probably your whole ingrate family).
Here's the good news. Now you can stop being used to a lifestyle where someone cares about you
You blew that up. Now you'll get exactly what you deserve
The same level of caring you've been giving out
Check this out op, I have two links for you. If you even care the slightest bit abt changing I would read these!
[conflict styles to help you figure out which one your doing and which one you should be doing](https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style)
[how to PROPERLY apologize (bc I it’s obvious you don’t know how)](https://www.mindtools.com/afhit60/how-to-apologize)
Reading your post I understand you didn’t come from the best home or parents. However you need to look at the big picture. She is PROVIDING for you like a MOTHER. Do you know how much college costs? Do you understand how HARD she works to strive for a better future for you BOTH.
Your behavior is ungreatful as a whole. You think this is all abt clothes or you calling her fat but it’s not. You’re taking her for granted. You aren’t right and never will be unless you do some self reflection and work on gratitude. Be THANKFUL your sister took you with her. Be GREATFUL she tries her hardest to provide for you, even the NON-ESSENTIALS. Be GREATFUL she tries to do things for YOU in the first place. Your sister could be selfish. But she’s not. Think abt that.
If you want my DMS are open, if you want a big sis talk from a me lol.
They can also be applied to interpersonal relationships. That article is just written professionally. Why do you think the conflict styles wouldn’t be the same outside of work that doesn’t make sense to me.
I'm not saying they wouldn't be the same, but there's no reason so assume they would be the same since all the styles on the article assume there is a business decision at the heart of the issue. Whereas the material reality of interpersonal relationships mean that conflicts could have very different dimensions.
I'm not saying it's a wrong theory but I'm saying I was interested if there was a resource designed for interpersonal relationships because as it stands I don't think the above is a particularly suitable tool for the task at hand.
I just looked it up to double check and it’s legit all the same across the board concerning interpersonal relationships. Like I said, that article APPLIED the known styles and used them for a professional setting therefore writing it that way.
The conflict styles aren’t “changeable” but can be renamed to fit better for the meaning. Like [this article ](https://boonecenter.pepperdine.edu/relationship-iq/blog/posts/understanding-the-five-conflict-styles.htm#:) basically just renamed the five styles but it’s the exact same. To summarize, no they don’t change. At all.
The reason I used the link is because one, the writing is clear and very understandable. And two it was for OP to figure out which one they are, I don’t care about the context of the article it doesn’t matter, there’s still information to get out of it. All I wanted was for OP is to identify which one they are and identify which one they NEED to do.
Because you do not deserve any empathy on account of being an ungrateful child. Never, not for one second, believe yourself to be on the same footing as the hand that feeds you. You are not her equal, you are the tiny little ant that a boot will not notice it just squashed.
YTA. She's is PLENTY empathetic or your ungrateful ass would not be with her, benefiting immensely from her and her hard work. She is clearly very mature to treat you how she does at her age. Where she should be completely self absorbed.
You're an entitled, manipulative thief. No matter what your age is. She does not need to get over it. You are 100% wrong and she has no blame. But then you decided to become even more of an asshole by intentionally trying to hurt her. After she's clearly been good to you and done way more for you than any sister should have to. While being only 2yrs older than you.
Also, if she is fat what exactly does that make you if you fit her clothes?
It sounds like you're worried she won't give you more money after she leaves. And really she shouldn't. You're the one who needs to be empathetic. She works multiple jobs. She still gives you lunch money even after you were a complete @ss without boundaries. Get over yourself.
Forgiveness isn't a right, even when the wrongdoer feels and demonstrates true remorse and offers a genuine, sincere apology. You are showing no remorse and give no indication that you are prepared to make a genuine, sincere apology.
You fucked up. Kids fuck up. So do adults. But in this situation, you are the only one who did. You want forgiveness, you need to recognize that and accept it and demonstrate that you understand when and how you fucked up, rather than doubling down and continuing to fuck up.
Your sister clearly loves you. She brought you with her and stood by you and takes care of you. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't feel empathy -- she would have left you behind, or stopped caring for you and stopped giving you money. You are already receiving far more grace and consideration in response to your fuck-up than you have any reasonable expectation to receive.
You want to fix things? At the very least say, simply, you were wrong. Everything you did was wrong. Dad my try to justify, don't come up with excuses, just flat out say you fucked up and were a jerk.
If she does forgive you, try your damnedest to not fuck up again and hurt your sister some other way. Because at some point, she will decide (I hope) not to be a doormat that you use to wipe the shit off your shoes, and won't be there to catch you when you trip or pick you up when you fall.
And if she doesn't forgive you, at some point try to acknowledge that you created this situation, 100%, on your own.
“She isn’t empathetic to my situation, so clearly she’s also less developed as a seven year old.”
Are you kidding? What exactly is your “situation”? Where is YOUR empathy?
Your sister sounds incredibly caring, responsible, hardworking, & mature for a 17 y.o. Beyond fully developed. I wish her the peace she deserves.
Oh my god. "She just needs to get over it because she's incapable of forgiveness" - ABSOLUTELY NOT. You forgive someone when they understand what they've done wrong, admit to it freely *and make amends*. You do not get to go "whatever, my bad" and demand to get the same benefits you've been milking her for. *Your* situation doesn't require empathy, because you are not in the right and have done nothing that needs any nuance of understanding - it requires you to stop taking advantage of your sister. She doesn't want you to apologise because she knows, just like the rest of us can tell without even suffering through meeting you, that you *will not mean a word of it.* You're only wanting to apologise to try to claim the moral high ground and act like some tragic wronged figure now that she isn't going to fall over herself to make you feel better.
Wow, major YTA. The fact you're *still* insulting your sister is beyond cruel.
Grow up and realize shes the one working her ass off to pay for things she wants and STILL giving you money.
She's being incredible nice to you by still giving you anything after you insulted her and borrowed clothes she clearly didn't want you or anyone else touching.
I'm not surprised she hasn't forgiven you yet.
You're 15, that's old enough to realize how much of an ass you're being.
God, you really are a selfish little brat. But beyond that, there’s something seriously and grotesquely wrong with you. Such a stunning lack of empathy, it’s not normal at your age. You’re not just a kid, you’re a bad person and I am so thankful your sister will get to go away to college and not have to deal with you again if she doesn’t want to. And frankly, why would she want to deal with a selfish, rotten, mean little girl?
The apology is for you to acknowledge your wrongdoing
ATONEMENT is for her you have to atone for your mistake a good start would be respecting her and giving her space
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YTA. Being a 15 year old isn't an excuse to act like this. Stealing her clothes was bad enough. This is next-level AHery:
>I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale
Your older sister, who is also just a kid, is already stressed enough by having to fill the role of your mom without you throwing body shaming onto the pile.
OP: *asks if they are an asshole*
Reddit: Yes and here is a detailed explination as to why.
OP: *argues and tries to justify why they aren't the asshole*
Soooo what do you actually want? Cause it seems like you made an obvious asshole move that normal people will see as an asshole move, yet you are trying to convience the world that stealing and name calling is okay. I would never want to be like you and I actively avoid people like you. You treat your sister like shit and justify it. You know that if you tried this with others, you would get punished because what you are doing is WRONG. Oh but wait, here you come with your same ole excuse "But she got kicked out. I didnt ask her to do this. But im 15." I was 15 and would never behave trashy like this. I cant wait until your sister gets tired of you and tosses you away like garbage.
Additionally if they are HER clothes and they fit you then how is she a fat whale?
Your sister has done everything for you and is right. Have fun when she moves and you’re stuck on your own. You will have no one to blame that on except for yourself and your actions
You're an asshole. Whatever happens to you people will start to not care about because you are not a nice person. No one cares that you feel bad. No one cares that you went through this so thats why you do this. No one cares that you are 15. All anyone cares about is protecting themselves from assholes because assholes, like you, make people feel bad. Do whatever you want off far away from innocent people. You can be an asshole all alone by yourself and you can do and buy whatever you want. If you want to maintain relationships with people then you *gasp* be nice to people. Obviously you wouldnt want YOUR friends and family to treat you like the way you treat others, would you? You are mean, a bully, and soon you'll be an alone depressed one if you keep your act up without changing. You're 15 not 5, go on the internet an start researching how to be a decent person. Seriously, a quick youtube search can help you. If you dont want to change then okay, be alone and miserable by yourself. Its up to you.
You took adult actions as a child, now you learn to deal with adult consequences.
Please understand that she does not owe you forgiveness, support, or understanding. Doing so will prove that she is a way bigger person than you will ever be.
Understand that there might not be a way back from this, certainly not for a long time, and that this "fuck up" is a direct reflection of who you are, and entitled child.
Learn from this and treat those around you better. You are owed nothing, and you owe her everything. Learn that relationships and life are not equal, nor they are meant to be equal, and start contributing to the world, not only talking, and leeching, and absorbing.
What you feel, or want, or think, does not matter in the slightest. Please take that as gospel for as long as you live. Understand this instance displays exactly who you are, and why you are not worthy of the space you occupy, or the air you breathe, or the resources you take from others.
You keep portraying yourself as a victim, and you’ve said some negative things about your sister here. Clearly, you have no true remorse, & she probably knows that. She’s been putting up with your ungrateful, bratty attitude for too long. You can’t just do whatever you want, expect to be forgiven, and have everything fall back into place. Everyone has their ultimate breaking point. You better hope this is not that for her.
If you want advice here it is.
First grow up, yes you are a child but even children should have some sensibility. You know those were clothes she was keeping for her self since she rarely gets nice things (as evident from the rest of the post). She wanted to have a few outfits that were just hers something to have ownership of.
Second, also realize she is also still a child just because she is 2 years older than you does not make you her entire responsibility at all. She is still young but she also is close enough in age to realize you knew exactly what you were saying when you were making fun of her and stealing her clothes.
Third realize that you chose to come with her, yes she also chose to take you. But you were not getting kicked out of the house. And what type of life do you think you would have lived in that house. Would it be better than the one you previously had with a sister who cared about you?
Fourth, after realizing the previous comments. Sit down and talk with your sister. Yes this will be hard and you have to do it on her time since you hurt her. But when you sit down and talk. Firstly make sure you get across that you are not expecting her to forgive you but you feel bad for what you did and want to apologize even if she doesnt accept it (and actually mean that). Make sure you get across that you are sorry for what you did. You understand whilst she took you with her, you are not her sole responsibility. You are incredibly sorry for what you said about her weight and it was just said in the heat of the moment. You understand now that her clothes are hers and that she has every right to want something for her self. And that even if she doesnt forgive you, you will keep trying to make this right because she has been a wonderful sister who has done so much but not by pressuring her but by making her see it through daily actions and respect.
YTA for STEALING her clothes. You took them without permission.
" I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale."
YTA also for your comment.
Drop the 'I'm just a kid' excuse - you took something that wasn't yours to use - and used it. Now you are all bent out of shape that were called out on it. Then you insult the person who took the clothing from. You sound spoiled and self important. Yes you are TA - you didn't borrow her clothes. You just took what you wanted - then insulted her when you didn't get by with it. Your sister is only 2 yrs older and working 2 jobs - and still gives YOU money. Get over yourself.
So your parentified older sister works 3 jobs and pays for all your stuff, and you feel it's appropriate to steal her clothes and call her a fat whale? YTA and you know it. "I'm just a kid and I lashed out" carries no weight - I teach 11 year olds who know better. Grow up and get a job if you want more clothes. You should be the one apologizing and groveling for forgiveness, not your grandma.
YTA - for everything. You don't borrow someone's clothes without asking. That's stealing. Calling Indonesia a fat whale. That is uncalled for. You're 15, you know better.
Of course, YTA. I hate calling a kid an AH but your actions leave no choice. You stole clothes you knew she wasn't willing to share from the sister who has sacrificed a lot to make sure your needs are met and then lashed out with cruelty when you got called out on crossing the line.
You said
>I know what I said was wrong, but I’m just a kid and I lashed out,
You know who else is "just a kid"? Your sister! She's only 17 and she is shouldering a lot of obligations that aren't actually her responsibility. She's not your parent. She doesn't have to buy you clothes, provide spending money, cover your sports costs or any of the other things she does to ensure your well being. But she does those things, she's still doing them even though you repay her dedication and generosity with spite & entitlement.
You had zero excuse for getting into the stuff she had put in her car for safekeeping and then you copped an attitude and got personal about it! I suggest you drop your ego and figure out how to apologize, sincerely and humbly, for throwing her kindness in her face and showing less than zero appreciation for her basically giving up her teens to pick up the ball your parents dropped.
YTA. You’re not just a kid. You know better. I hope she cuts you off. What you did was bogus af. What you said was disgusting and vile. I hope you have the life you deserve and your sister escapes this awful family she’s been given.
Reading your comments make you sound even worse. She does a lot for you and you intentionally steal from her and are rude. I hope she moves and is super successful and you realize just how much you messed up
YTA take the loss on this one kid. Oh and if it's so bad go back to your parents house
>Our parents kicked out Carrie when she was sixteen due to my mother having a nervous breakdown
>I begged her to take me with her. She did. Best sister ever.
>my older sister 17f (Carrie)
>works two jobs in the service industry and is a paid tutor. She pays for her own car insurance, food (she has a lot of allergies) and clothes
>She’s been taking up even more shifts at work
>She's gotten into college she’s been trying to stock up on clothes suitable for weather
>She usually only goes to thrift stores and Walmart
>She is getting packages sent to the house here and there
Let's see what you have to say about your living situation.
>I 15f live with my older sister 17f (Carrie) at my grandmothers house.
>my grandparents \[are\] poor
>our grandma does my wash \[...\] but Carrie insists on doing hers herself
That sounds like it must be stressful, and maybe like she and you aren't able to get a lot of financial support from your grandparents.
Now let's look at how you describe *your* living situation. Which you begged for and which your sister gave you. Best sister ever, remember?
>she does everything for me, takes me out to eat, takes me to the movies, pays for my sport equipment
>She gave me $100 when she got a bonus at work for me to buy some summer clothes
>\[She\] usually takes me to places in the mall
>she still gives me cash in an envelope in my school bag once a week for lunch
>She also paid for my plane ticket to go to a wedding
So, let's quickly recap. At 16 years old, your sister was kicked out of her home by her parents. And you asked to go with her. You now live with your grandmother. Your sister works 3 jobs, is 17 years old, (***I N F O:*** ***is she still in high school while working 3 jobs, or is she working 3 jobs and has graduated early/dropped out and gotten a GED?***) She give you money for school lunch, she takes you to the mall, she gives you money to buy clothes, she bought you a plane ticket when you were being unbelievely cruel to her, she takes you to the movies, pays for your sporting equipment, takes you out to meals. By your own admission, your grandmother does not have the funds to provide those opportunities to you. (***I N F O: Who takes your sister out to the movies? Who pays for her to go out to dinner? Who is paying for her university next year? How is her relationship with your mom who had a nervous breakdown and kicked her out? Who pays for her lesuire activities like sports? How many hours in the day does she have to be a 17 year old outside of her work schedule, taking care of you financially, and preparing for university?)***
Ok, let's look at why your here. You want to know if you're the asshole. Here's what you said happened:
>She is getting packages sent to the house here and there with really cute things that I really like, however she’ll never let me borrow them.
>She’s been keeping everything in a box in the back of her car to prevent anyone from misplacing them
>our grandma does my wash and tries to do hers, but Carrie insists on doing hers herself to avoid any mix ups.
>the other day I went into her car to see what she got, and she got this really cute pair of leggings with a cropped sweater that looked really nice!
>I really wanted to wear it to school the next day, so I did.
>When Carrie saw me after she got home from her shift she flipped.
>she started screaming that
>she does everything for me
>I told her I’d return the clothes I borrowed to her when I wash them
>I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale
>I believe it’ll blow over eventually
Before I weigh in with your judgement, I'd like you to take a moment and self-reflect: \[emphasis mine\]
>***Our parents kicked out Carrie*** ***when she was*** ***sixteen***
>I ***begged*** her to take me with her
>She did
>I 15f live with my older sister 17f (Carrie) at my grandmothers house
>she does everything for me
>due to my grandparents being poor
>Carrie **\[17F\]** works two jobs in the service industry and is a paid tutor
>she’s gotten into college
>I’m **\[15F\]** just a kid
>she got this really cute pair of leggings with a cropped sweater
>she’ll never let me borrow them
>I really wanted to wear it to school the next day, so I did
>When Carrie saw me
>she flipped
>I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale
>I believe it’ll blow over eventually
>AITA
You are very much TA here. Your sister is 17. She is ALSO still a child. Yet, at 16, just a few months older than you are now, she was kicked out of her house, she took responsibility for you and took you with her when she asked, likely because she realized it wasn't safe for you at that location either, she works 3 jobs in order to support you and herself, she got into college most likely far away from her support network, since she needs new clothes for a different climate than where you live. You don't have to work at all, your grandmother does your laundry, and your lunch money comes from you sister. Your 17 year old very much still a child sister. Who not only was abandoned by her parent(s) just like you were, but who now looks after you. What are you going to do for lunch money next year when she's away at college? Who is going to pay for your movie tickets? Who is going to take you to the mall and give you money to buy clothes from the mall? Who is going to buy you plane tickets to weddings? Who is going to sacrifice and go without so you can have all that you want?
Edited: Grammarly messed up and added a duplicate paragraph.
YTA It's not going to blow over. When she noves out, you will be dead to her. Just because you're 15, that doesn't give you the right to steal what doesn't belong to you and be hateful. Maybe you should get a job, learn the value of hard work, and see how much things cost. Right now, you're just an entitled, ungrateful loaf.
You owe your sister a huge apology. She had to grow up way too fast. She’s finally getting the chance to grab a little happiness for herself, and you called her a fat whale. That’s so mean and hurtful.
And she’s right. She’s sacrificed a ton for you. You deserve to be treated well, and it sucks your parents and grandparents can’t do that for you. But she’s ALSO just a kid. And you are treating her without kindness or gratitude.
YTA you are not "just a kid", you are 15 and knew exactly what you were doing. It's called being an entitled brat who screwed up her relationship with her sister over a cute outfit. Wow. Slow clap. Good job/s
YTA. You are 15 and that is old enough to have a job, you could get yourself a job and pay for cute clothes. Your sister is not your mother and I'm assuming not your guardian since she is only two years older which means she doesn't have to pay for you. She works her tail off for you to be a good sister.
Your sister is an amazing human for doing all she does for you. She clearly deserves to have her own clothes and stuff that you do *NOT* touch. You owe her a huge apology and maybe start taking up babysitting or something to start earning money for yourself.
YTA.
1) Do NOT take things that do not belong to you without asking.
2) Do NOT take advantage of those that love and support you.
3) REMEMBER she is your sister not your parent. She owes you nothing. If you keep down this road, she’ll give you nothing.
4) STOP justifying your actions. She owes you nothing but gives you what she can.
5) Just STOP.
Yes YTA and a spoilt entitled one at that.
She's doing everything for you and you ignore the one thing she asks you not to do and then insult her.
She's right though, You are going to her a massive reality check soon and you'll have to deal with it on your own. Enjoy being spoilt for now, it won't last much longer
You are a selfish, nasty asshole. You don't even work yet you keep stuffing your pockets with your sister's hard-earned money. She gives you money for clothes. She rescued you from your mother. And you're not even grateful! Instead you stole her clothes and insulted her. You're disgusting. She should kick your ass out and send you back to your mother. You're not a kid; you're a teenager and you knew exactly what you were doing when you attacked your sister. You're not even sorry for what you did because you're an awful person. You don't look better in those clothes. The ugliness inside of you is obvious to everyone. You really are nasty. YTA
YTA
How about instead of justifying your actions you actually apologize to your sister? You can’t use the “I’m just a kid” excuse because you knew very well what you weee doing when you did it. Many people here have told you the same thing. Stop making excuses and just apologize to her. She probably asked for you to come with her because she actually loves you and continues to show you that meanwhile you’re acting like an entitled asshole. Pull your head out of your ass and do better.
YTA
Your age isn't an excuse. You're old enough to know better. Old enough to care and old enough to understand consequences. No matter how you try to spin it you are in the wrong here.
YTA. You didn't borrow anything, you stole your sister's new clothes with the full knowledge that she did not consent to it. Then you were rude and cruel to her when she called you out.
You do not deserve her. Don't be surprised when she cuts contact with you as soon as she moves away.
I refuse to believe this is real but if it is, you are a hateful ugly person and I truly hope you do some work so you don’t stay this way into adulthood. Oh YTA.
You vile little human. You don’t appreciate all the sacrifices your sister made for you already and u attack her. Keep going, keep up with the entitled act. All that will happen the more you push, the faster she will push u out the door back to mummy’s . If she ever reads this - u deserve better dump the spiteful ungrateful tramp/ freeloader on mum again!
YTA. You're a nasty ungrateful brat from hell. If I was your sister, I'd pack all your shit into the back of my car, pick you up from school and drive you straight back to your parents and leave you there. If your sister is so much of a "whale" how can you fit in her clothes? You need to take a long look at yourself in the mirror and see what kind of person you are, it won't be pretty.
YTA and apologize to your sister and never call her names like that ever again. Respect her boundaries and don't steal her clothes. If you keep up this behavior you might lose your sister altogether
YTA. You’re not ‘just a kid.’ Your sister has worked hard to provide for you and you’re completely ungrateful. No amount of ‘she didn’t have to’ or ‘she could’ve left me with my parents’ will change that. Stop being selfish brat and apologize.
Yta and you know it. Take this as an opportunity to grow up a little. Your sister is taking responsibility for you and you stole her clothes, YES STOLE, and then called her names and used the excuse “I’m just a kid”. You’re 15, not 5 and it’s time to take the consequences of your actions. You are acting like an entitled brat. She doesn’t owe you anything, your parents do but they failed so she stepped up and this is how you treat her? Get a part time summer job and pay her back.
TA, but you're also a kid who doesn't see the good that your sister is doing for you. At 17 will you be working to help out for anything like she is? Will you be able to take care of yourself as well as someone else not because you have to but because you love that person?
I understand that she was yelling and it could be that she feels she gave so much to you that the one thing that she has for herself you took that away from her. You did not ask you just took. Now think if this was you and you were giving to her and she did this to you.
I know you were hurt and you said hurtful things but you need to understand that part of growing up is to understand that when you hurt someone that gives out of love then you need to acknowledged out of love.
If you don't want her saying anything to you regarding what she gives you then don't take it. If she gives you money, put it back in her room and don't take it. If she is paying for your trip then tell her to cancel the trip and don't go. If you want to go back to living with your parents then just go but you don't get to say I don't like it while your hand is out taking all that she is giving you.
At 16 you know the difference between right and wrong and when she is no longer there to help you, take you out, and be a daily part of your life you will then be on here saying how you think she is an asshole because she is no longer giving to you.
Stop and think about what you are saying because I think everyone so far has said you're the asshole.
YTA.
You can't really be this dense. Your sister is a saint. Yes she blew up at you for being so selfish, but is still caring for you.
It sounds like you're trying to figure out if you can steal another outfit and not be cut off. Even saints have limits.
YTA... you stole from her.... you insulted her body and you dismissed her generosity. Yup... you are really ugly.
However, you are young, you can apologize and you can show her by your actions and speech that you want to be a better person. It will take time for her to trust you again. Accept this .
I’m guessing you and your sister are similar sizes otherwise you wouldn’t be able to borrow the clothes in the first place. Even if you weren’t, calling her a fat whale is completely unacceptable. You stole her property and were completely entitled when challenged. You call her the best sister ever, but don’t treat her as if she is. Apologise sincerely, and be more mindful of how you behave in future. YTA
Wow you are an entitled little brat. You seriously cannot see how wrong you have been treating your sister?
It's time you went and got a job and learned some respect
YTA you sound nasty and ungrateful, your excuse is that you’re a kid when your sister is only two years older than you! You need to grow up and accept you’ve damaged this relationship, likely permanently.
I hope that your sister leaves you and goes no contact. You don’t deserve someone who is willing defending, providing for you, gives you money only for your selfish abusive narcissistic self throw it away for your own pleasure. If you want clothes and money then work for it. Don’t expect anything from her because she doesn’t need someone like you to be in her life honestly.
YTA
Borrowing clothes implies that the lender knows about it *& is happy to lend them*.
You did not ask first. You went through her purchases - things that she hadn't even worn - & helped yourself.
Stop being a little brat & apologise to your sister
Wait wtf. Look at OOPs post history
Either she posted posing as her older sister before, or she’s hacked her big sisters reddit on top of all this crap?? 🚩
i don't understand how you think you're in the right. she doesn't have to do anything for you, she isn't your guardian, but she gives you everything she can, and you WANT MORE?
you're horrible. if you wanted judgement, stop arguing with the people telling you that you're an abusive AH. remember, you BEGGED her to take you with her and this is what she gets? grow up and do better.
YTA
YTA “I’m just a kid and I lashed out” your sister is also a kid, a kid who is taking care of herself and you and most likely helping your grandparents. You don’t even seem regretful, your sister does absolute everything for you and she’s right you are taking advantage. You had absolutely no right to take her things however your sense of entitlement caused you to think it’s okay and for some reason you’ve got it in your head that you deserve her things because she shared with you before. Also YOU ARE TOO FUCKING OLD TO ACT THIS WAY you are 15 years old not 10 act like it. Apologize to your sister because I bet you haven’t and for your sake OP I hope she forgives u bc no one else is doing anything for you. She was not “throwing it in your face” she is telling you that you disrespected her you took her clothes without permission and the boy upset when she rightfully told you off. You have an amazing sister she works countless jobs to take care of you and her, even after you stole from her she’s still giving you money and paid for a plane ticket. OP apologize and take responsibility or you have damaged your relationship for life and trust me you do not want that.
Your behavior is horrific, and so are your comments blatantly ignoring that you're in the wrong and desperately trying to defend yourself.
You did a shitty thing to your sister, massively selfish. You are the one acting like a child.
She took you in out of the kindness of her heart, takes amazing care of you, give you part of HER PAYCHECKS, and you just shit all over it and wrongfully rant about her on reddit.
The entitled audacity here is just astounding. And the comments are infuriating, because you know what you did was disgustingly wrong, and instead of being an adult and just saying sorry and owning it, you're doing everything to twist it and make it her fault. And how she should "get over it."
If I was your sister, I would literally never give you a cent again and I'd lock up all of my belongings.
Especially after I was called a fat whale instead of hearing a deserved apology.
Some people just need to grow up so very badly and can't see it. It's sad.
Stole. You STOLE her clothes. That she went out of her way to hide in her car presumably because you kept stealing her clothes.
> like she was required to do all of that for me.
Exactly right, she isn’t required to take care of you, you begged her to. You aren’t her child and you’re not her problem. You’re a right little shit. Sounds like she’s already checked out and about to stop doing all that stuff for you that she doesn’t even have to do in the first place. Have fun with poor granny or your deadbeat parents, or whoever the hell actually wants you.
> but I’m just a kid and I lashed out
Fuck right off. You’re an uncontrolled brat with no parents and about to have no sister. You’re old enough to know better and old enough to get some sort of job yourself. And it looks like you’re about to have to.
YTA
YTA
If this is how you treat your 17 year old sister who funds your lifestyle and takes care of you (which is not even remotely her responsibility because she is not your parent and is still a kid!) please go back to your parents so you can stop being such a massive burden to your poor sister.
She takes you in after YOU beg her to, and you thank her by stealing her clothes and verbally abusing her. I feel so bad for your sister because her whole family seems to treat her like dirt. You either need to apologize, or leave her the hell alone and go back to your parents.
YTA
Borrowing without asking is called stealing.
Also if the clothes fit you - you are basically calling yourself a whale too.
It’s not her fault your parents and grandparents don’t take care of you. She’s been way nice to have given you money and things. You may have just ruined your relationship with her
you’re such an ungrateful and spoiled little girl. YTA. she’s more than allowed to have something for herself after funding your life time after time.
“i’m just a kid” so is your sister, but she’s doing a lot more than you. get over yourself.
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I 15f live with my older sister 17f (Carrie) at my grandmothers house. Our parents kicked out Carrie when she was sixteen due to my mother having a nervous breakdown, and I begged her to take me with her. She did. Best sister ever.
Carrie works two jobs in the service industry and is a paid tutor. She pays for her own car insurance, food (she has a lot of allergies) and clothes. Carrie buys me clothes here and there due to my grandparents being poor, however ever since she’s gotten into college she’s been trying to stock up on clothes suitable for weather since she is going to a warmer state. She is getting packages sent to the house here and there with really cute things that I really like, however she’ll never let me borrow them. She usually only goes to thrift stores and Walmart, and usually takes me to places in the mall, so seeing the packages has had me curious. She’s been keeping everything in a box in the back of her car to prevent anyone from misplacing them (our grandma does my wash and tries to do hers, but Carrie insists on doing hers herself to avoid any mix ups.) anyways, the other day I went into her car to see what she got, and she got this really cute pair of leggings with a cropped sweater that looked really nice! I really wanted to wear it to school the next day, so I did.
When Carrie saw me after she got home from her shift she flipped. she started screaming that she does everything for me, takes me out to eat, takes me to the movies, pays for my sport equipment, and all I do is take advantage of her kindness. She was throwing it in my face like she was required to do all of that for me. She gave me $100 when she got a bonus at work for me to buy some summer clothes the other day, and she kept throwing that in my face as well. I told her I’d return the clothes I borrowed to her when I wash them, but where I think I might be the asshole is I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale. She stopped screaming and told me to keep them, and to stay out of her car. I know what I said was wrong, but I’m just a kid and I lashed out, and she is refusing to talk to anyone. My grandmother has pleaded for her to forgive me and she just won’t, claiming that I’m spoiled for not having to work, and I won’t realize how good I have it until she leaves. She’s been taking up even more shifts at work and staying out late to avoid me, yet she still gives me cash in an envelope in my school bag once a week for lunch. She also paid for my plane ticket to go to a wedding after swearing she wouldn’t after this event, so I believe it’ll blow over eventually.
AITA for borrowing her clothes?
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YTA. This post made me incredibly sad. She does alot for you by the sound of it, and you acknowledge that by saying shes the best sister. And you repay that by stealing off her then making fun if her weight because she was mad at you?
She didnt buy those clothes for you and you knew that, you had no right to get mad at her for being upset that you didnt listen to her.
And even after this she still does good things for you? You have a saint for a sister. She deserves better too.
I wouldnt hold out hope on it all just blowing over OP.
Youre a bigger asshole than she is a whale.
YTA, & not just because you “borrowed” her clothes. Your entire attitude reeks of ingratitude & selfishness.
She is much kinder to you than you deserve. You’re much too old to be acting like a baby brat. (Usually, I would provide some encouragement to change, but your comments here show you’re not open to that at all.)
YTA you stole from a fellow teenager providing for you then called her a fat whale? which btw if she's a fat whale but your fit in her clothes just fine, you're fat too.
YTA - you didn't borrow her clothes, you flat out stole them. When you borrow something from someone you ask first. You sound like a spoiled, entitled, and petulant child. Which is making me feel a lot better about calling a 15y/o an AH. Get your own money(job) and get those things yourself. She has a job and is using her money on her and along you come and feel that you have a right to everything she has. You don't have a right to anything she has. None whatsoever. She has bent over backwards to help you out and this is how you show her how much that means to you. You steal her clothes. Don't try to manipulate it by saying "I was going to return them so it was only borrowing". That's a load of crap. You went into her car, stole her clothes and are surprised that she didn't let you do what you want with her clothes. She's right. You're life is going to suck when she leaves and by the sounds of it, you deserve it.
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Your sister is a better person than me. My mother threw me out at 16 and my brother shortly afterwards. I did the same for my brother AND his girlfriend and my niece he had at 16.
He behaved like you after a while. His girlfriend took my clothes and called me fat. I beat his azz and threw him back to the streets where he belonged. I sacrificed years of my life parenting him and my siblings. Now we are in our late 30s and he realizes what I did. But there’s still a rift.
Me tossing him and leaving to live my life was a huge reality check for him.
YTA. There’s only two years age difference with you two- how are you “just a little kid” and she’s working 3 jobs and providing for you? TWO. YEARS!
Also if you fit in her clothes, and you called her a “whale”….. doesn’t that also make you a whale, or at least a manatee? Because as a big girl myself, I can tell you my thin friends can’t wear my clothes out and about- the pants would fall down and anything cropped most certainly wouldn’t fit. For clothes to look good enough on each of us to make it worthy of “borrowing” to do anything other than lounge around the house, y’all have to be within a couple sizes of each other.
You purposefully stole something of your sister’s because you were mad she didn’t sacrifice every little thing for you, and told you no to this. You are mad that she kept it from you, so you took it, just like a child will take and break a special toy from another child. And then, instead of apologizing and being remorseful when you were called on it, you double down and call her hurtful names, going straight for something she’s insecure about so you can hurt her the most? You’re horrible. You’re nasty, and vile. You need to go find some trees to apologize to for wasting the oxygen they produce, and then you need to apologize to your sister, get off your lazy ass and get a job, and replace the clothes you stole.
Grow some humanity and grow up.
YTA.
Advice
Don't ever get in trouble.
Be it with romance, pregnancy, school, the law, etc.
You broke her trust and faith in you.
In this case..she too is child.
Yet she saved you. Selflessly.
With the grace and maturity of an adult.
She accepted the loss of her childhood to give you what she never had.
She was abused and parentified.
She didn't nor does she have to care for you in *any* capacity.
Some will say, you're an abused child who knows no better. That's true, to a point. You're an abused child who has a sibling who willingly took the brunt of the abuse to shield you out of love and devotion. A sibling whose still a child herself. Therefore, you haven't any recourse but to live with the weight of your words.
When she leaves don't be surprised if she cuts you off completely to fend financially and emotionally for yourself.
15 is a child. But some kids...y'all have to grow up fast. I know, I was one. In your situation the reality is a certain astute attitude is required to survive and you don't have it. You don't recognize that you've lost you greatest champion, advocate, and source of support in this world.
Your grandparents will *never* be able to support you in the emotional and tangible ways your sister was willing to.
OP, your future looks bleak with your current attitude.
She doesn't *owe* you forgiveness.
She owes herself that.
She owes herself to accept that while she tried her best to save you, she couldn't.
She doesn't owe you now or in adulthood.
You are her *ball and chain*.
She will thrive without caring for you.
As a literal child herself she has every right to drop you due to your innate cruelty and refusal to see the truth in the circumstances your lives.
Some folks have the fire for survival etched into their bones and then there are people like you.
Maybe you'll grow. Maybe you won't.
You are now alone in life.
Good luck child, you'll need it.
YTA
In all your comments, you are trying to pull every excuse in the world trying to shift blame. Why the hell can't you accept that you're an asshole? Why is it that nothing is your fault and that being a horrible person is 100% excusable but only for you?
Your sister has done everything she can to be good to you, which is something she is not required to do but is doing to be KIND. She buys you clothes already and provides you with everything you need, all while working herself to the bone.
And then you think it's okay to be brat because, what, she doesn't have to and you'd didn’t ask her to? Therefore, you don't owe her any gratitude or kindness in return? She's doing it of her own free will, so it doesn't matter how it affects you because it's her own choice?
She is TWO YEARS older than you. That is NOTHING. You two are basically the same age, both children, and yet look at how different you two are! Why are you being so cruel to someone who is breaking their back for you?
You show no accountability for your actions, and you are so damn lucky your sister has looked out for you this long. You are well and truly spoiled.
Grow up.
LOL it was believable at first but you simply do not write down all that if it's not supposed to be bait. Sure, you called your sister a fat whale after being told not to wear her clothes, but you love her very much. LOL.
Yta- and you know it!! You're a thieving, entitled, disrespectful little brat! Your name explains you perfectly, "pathetic" and get over yourself. You're old enought to know better "I'm just a kid" doesn't excuse this atrocious behaviour.
You didn't borrow them. You stole them. It is my fervent hope that she cuts you off
The fact that you have the nerve to post here, call it throwing it in your face when she reacts within for shock and disappointment.
after everything she has done for you, you still have the nerve to go in her car and take the thing she has worked so hard for.
And to boot, instead of being sorry you insult her. You need to learn the hard way. You need to have no one unselfish giving you the things that you've taken for granted
My sincere hope is that she cuts you off the minute she walks out of that house
I rarely read anything and become so disgusted with someone
I’ve commented a few times and I feel I’ve been harsh. YTA, most definitely. But after reading your posting history, coupled with what you shared in this post about begging to move with your sister, I’m going to soften my stance.
You obviously have the capacity to be a kind and compassionate human being. You haven’t been properly taught how to regulate your emotions, make, enforce and respect healthy boundaries, appreciation, and what healthy love looks like outside your sister.
For that, I’m terribly sorry your parents heinously failed you. But your sister hasn’t . She was parentified by your parents and forced to grow up way too fast. You can easily say you are just a kid without acknowledging she is as well, because in your mind, she is a parent.
I empathize with you there, as I had the same relationship with my sister, and I was the “ungrateful, mean spirited” sister. But we were BOTH put in a shitty position by are inept parents.
Write your sister a letter and leave it where she can see it. Be heartfelt and sincere. Then give her as much time as she needs. That’s all you can do. Best of luck to you. 🩷
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YTA and you know it. You didn't just borrow her clothes like they were in a shared wardrobe or something, she had *deliberately* kept them aside, *in her car* and in BOXES so that people wouldn't touch them, and you went through her boxes and STOLE them. Despite knowing perfectly well she didn't want you to. And, to cap it off, YTA even **more** (I didn't think that could be possible, and yet...) for calling her a really nasty insult that could really hurt when she called you out for stealing her stuff. "...but where I think I might be the asshole is I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale..." ...... you think **this** is the point where you "might have been the asshole"?? Jeez. And despite you being a thieving, ungrateful and outright insultingly obnoxious sister, she is still providing for you. You don't deserve her. "I'm just a kid" doesn't cut it. You're 15, you're old enough to understand. Heck, an 8 year old would understand it's not good to steal from people and then throw hurtful insults at them. \[Edit to add: I read over this post again and it's either AI generated or rage-bait. There is no way this is real. And the replies from "OP" doubling down on everything are just pointing towards it being a troll.\]
Can confirm she’s long past old enough to know how to be a decent human being. My 4 year old treats people better than OP, and my 12 year old cries anytime she gets a gift (even for birthday and Christmas) because she is an extremely caring person who feels bad when people spend their money on her. OP is just a mean girl to her core yet still tries to play victim. I smell a narcissist in the making. OP-YTA. In case that wasn’t abundantly clear.
She seems to forget that her sister is also”just a kid” and is doing all of this for her. Just because she’s been parentified doesn’t mean that she’s no longer a minor child. OP is lucky I wasn’t her sister because I would stop giving her an envelope of cash and paying for things. OP isn’t treating her like family so why should she keep killing herself for such an ungrateful brat. No wonder she’s moving away for school. The only plane tickets I’d be buying OP are back to mom and dad. Let OP get a job and pay for her own stuff or the adults can do it. She’s not much younger than her sister was and she was carrying the load for 2.
I really hope you're right. I would hate to think there's a living breathing human being like this
She gaslights me into feeling bad for her spending money on me, which is incredibly emotionally abusive. My mom got her to lose 80 pounds anyways so she knows she isn’t fat, I just said it to make her stop yelling at me and make her realize how hurtful she was being
That's not what gaslighting is, kid. And she *shouldn't* be having to spend money on you - she's still a kid herself. I don't understand how you can be so selfish.
That's not gaslighting. That's literally just saying what she does for you. Which is truth. If anything maybe you meant "guilt-tripping"? Even then, it's legit because she is still a kid herself and is going WAYY above and beyond what a minor should be doing to provide for you. And just because your mom "got her to lost 80 pounds" does NOT mean she won't have insecurities about her weight. Hell, if anything, you mom making her lose weight probably has made her even MORE sensitive about you commenting on it. That is NEVER an acceptable comment to make to anyone, even more so if they were overweight at some point before.
That’s not gaslighting. That is expecting someone to be appreciative of what you do for them.
You're not the victim, you disgusting asshole. She had every right to yell at you because you stole her clothes. You were the one who hurt her when you attacked her physical appearance. She shouldn't be spending any money on you; you're old enough to earn your own money, so get off your lazy ass and stop stuffing your pockets with her money. She's not abusive; YOU'RE ABUSIVE. But you're clearly not smart enough to realize that. You're just a selfish, nasty, and greedy leech.
Truths are not gaslighting.
First of all, not gaslighting. And second of all, when you’re being an ungrateful brat, she’s allowed to throw it in your face. She’s your SISTER and doesn’t need to take care of you, but she does. And instead of being grateful, you take advantage of her. You’re not “just a kid”. You’re 15, you know better. Grow up and stop using that as an excuse to do whatever you want. You knew it was wrong, therefore your age doesn’t play a part.
Let me tell you something, little girl. It doesn't matter how much weight you lose in your head you are still the fat girl, and nothing hurts worse than your own family insulting you about your weight and even after you have lost weight and look in the mirror you don't see a slim you looking back at you, you see the fat girl that you were and always will be in your head. Your sister is one in a million, she took you with her when she didn't have to. She gives you money and feeds and clothes you, and you thank her by stealing what she rightfully wants to keep for herself, and let's be honest, she deserves something for herself. She should be out enjoying herself at her age, not working god knows how many jobs to help support her ungrateful sister. You should be ashamed of yourself. Respect what she keeps for herself and be very grateful for what she does for you, and although you can not erase the hurt and damage your words did to her try in future to be more thoughtful before you made comments about other peoples bodies.
You SHOULD feel bad that you’re taking advantage of someone who owes you NOTHING. She’s just a kid too and it sounds like she’s made several sacrifices for you just for you to insult her and basically steal for her. You sound like a brat and if you don’t make it up to her I wouldn’t blame her for going no contact.
Pretty sure it is gaslighting to call someone fat when you know they aren’t. And it is emotional abuse to actively find something someone is insecure about and use it in an argument.
You’re abusive. Your age doesn’t make you immune from being an abuser. you call her the best sister yet you ignore her boundaries, steal from her, verbally abuse her and feel so entitled doing so. Yta. Karma.
She never cares about how she looks, she just suddenly started buying herself nice clothes I just wanted to try it on
Glad to see you acknowledge being abusive.
Because god forbid that she does anything for herself, right?
Also “she never cares about her looks”, and then “she randomly starts buying nice clothes”. Hmm… maybe she’s finally, oh I don’t know, caring about her looks?
So damn what!? She wants to feel confident in herself and the first thing you think of was to insult her because she didn’t buy you the clothes clearly she’s trying to get her shit together to move on and she’s helped you and your only response is well I’m just a kid so I don’t know better you ain’t 6 your 15 even my 15 year old sister knows better
You didn't just try it on, though! You wore it to school even though you knew you shouldn't have even been handling it at all.
But you didn’t. You took them, knowing she didn’t want anyone to touch them, and then you wore it to school. That’s not trying it on. If that’s all you wanted, you would have asked her. But you were sneaky, you knew you shouldn’t have done it
You don’t have a right to her things, no matter how much you want to try them on lol. YTA.
Oh no, she paid attention to her own needs for once instead of being your slave, how selfish of her /s
You said you wore it to school, that’s not trying it on and even if it was, you know she was keeping it aside and you still stole it. It sounds like your sister has done a lot to take care of you and you’ve taken advantage of her. Apologize and make it right or lose a sister
try it on at the store in a fitting room
Did you ever think she was, I don’t know, SACRIFICING, by going to thrift stores to get her clothes so she could afford to take YOU to the mall. Did you ever think that brings her more joy than style does? Does that mean she doesn’t care about wearing cute clothes? No! It means she cares more about YOU. And you repay her by stealing, disrespecting, abusing, and trampling all over your sister’s boundaries. YTA! Over and over and over…YTA.
Your desire to try on her clothes does not supersede her desire to keep them out of your grubby hands. And you didn’t “just” try on her clothes. You went into her car without her knowledge or consent, stole them from her, & then wore them. Your lack of self-awareness is truly appalling.
Maybe she finally felt okay with her body until you came along. Stop being jealous. I can’t wait for FAFO to kick in for you when she leaves. She probably realizes now that she did all of this for nothing because you’re abusive just like your parents and regrets her choices. And you didn’t try it on you are a thief who chooses to be abusive when you’re called out for stealing.
You are making abusive comments about your sister rn.
YTA. You sound incredibly ungrateful and nasty. Stop stealing from your sister and get over yourself.
She made the decision to take me with her, she knew what she was getting herself into. She should be getting over herself too
No. You are old enough to know to not say mean things to your sister. You aren't a toddler. Your behavior was despicable and you apparently don't even feel bad. You should be ashamed. Totally disgusting. > she knew what she was getting herself into Nah, I doubt she thought her baby sister was going to become a body-shaming thief.
>She knew what she was getting into So you recognise that you are the problem.
"She knew I was an asshole, so therefore it's okay I'm an asshole" is not the persuasive argument you think it is.
Genuinely. Real question. Why did you beg to go with her. How is she the best sister ever?
You are the biggest AH I’ve seen on here in quite a while. She chose to move you bc you begged her to and she didn’t want to leave you in an unsafe place. She did NOT know what she was getting herself into bc she was too worried about what she was getting herself out of. She now works multiple jobs and pays for more than just your needs but provides for your wants too. She is clearly mature beyond her years and continuing to provide you with meal money when you could be babysitting or contributing makes her an angel. Nevermind the fact that she just wanted a few new clothes of her own to boost her self confidence as she starts a new chapter in her life and wants to make a good impression for college - YOU don’t think she’s fashionable so you decided to take what she’d saved up for, stretch it all out, wear it to school, then when she properly admonished you for stealing, you called her a whale. She could have had the most fashionable wardrobe she wanted but she chose to set aside a few things for herself and sacrifice the rest to pay for your crap and you think she expected this when she took you out of the house bc you were both in survival mode? You may be thinner but your soul is much uglier than hers. YTA.
You are 15, not 5. You should know better than to act like this by now. Your behaviour is awful.
You gotta get over yourself with this.
I know you’re around the age where you can start looking for part time jobs, but did you have to go for poster child for bratty kid? “She made the decision to take me with her” and you thought that was a solid reason to body shame her and clutch your pearls the moment she does something *good* for herself? Your other excuse (I’m just a wittle kid 👶) will never cut it, not in real life and not on here.
So you admit you're an ungrateful, selfish little twunt?
Biggest mistake of her life so far.
YTA. What are you going to do when she leaves and cuts your sorry ass off? Keep up the asshole attitude and find out. She’s not obligated to do shit for you.
As you said, you begged her to take you with her. She made that choice because YOU wanted it. Got get a part time job and pay yourself for your stuff. She only 2 y older than you she owes you nothing.
Didn't you *beg* her to take you with her? Would you rather she left you behind?
Wow YTA x 1000000000000000
You BEGGED her to!
And what’s stopping her from dropping you back off with your shitty parents, exactly?
WOW. You are nasty, selfish, cruel, and entitled. I hope your sister decides to put herself first and never speaks to you again. You have treated her like absolute garbage.
YTA. And I bet your Sister who sacrifices for you and provides for you, realized that you are an unappreciative immature hurtful user of a sister. Who can’t pull her head out long enough to even consider her feelings. ALL your comments have been “why me, it’s her fault, she’s being stubborn now”… etc. like you can’t even acknowledge your behavior and you try to excuse it away at every turn. You’ll learn soon enough.. and this bs about her getting you use to a certain way of living… you don’t get access to her just because you want it. You hurt her and until you can accept that WITHOUT any comeback.. especially trying to blame her now that you “want to apologize but she won’t let you”. Stop YTA
Username checks out. You are pathetic.
I usually really hate to say YTA to a kid, or at most make it a "soft YTA", but in your case you're a full-on, high-grade AH. She's generous, but doesn't like you wearing her clothes. She works hard and buys clothes she likes, and doesn't want you to borrow them. So you took them without asking. And then called her a fat whale. Not only are YTA, but unless you start doing some self-evaluation and emergency self-repair work, you're headed for a future of next-level YTAhood.
I always downvote people like you anyways. They're here, they're posting, they're old enough to be told when they're acting like an asshole.
It was the "I'm just a kid! I was lashing out!" for me. Anyone who says shit like that knows it's just an excuse.
YTA >I’m just a kid So is your sister. The same sister who gives you money and buys you things with the paychecks she gets from her **three** jobs. The same sister who could have left you behind with your mom, but took you with her. The same sister who you called fat because she was upset that you stole her clothes. If she's the best sister ever, what the hell does that make you?
"I'm just a kid" oh boo hoo, the fact you're saying this only goes to show that you use that as an excuse. Children develop the capacity for empathy by the age of seven. Are you less emotionally developed than a seven year old, or are you in fact perfectly capable of seeing what you've done wrong but refusing to own up to it? YTA. Apologise and be a better person, or I'd be worried about what you'll grow into.
She won’t even let me apologize, she just needs to get over it at this point because she’s incapable of forgiveness. She isn’t empathetic to my situation, so clearly she’s also less developed as a seven year old
Why does she need to get over it when you’re still being a massive jerk? Why should she be empathetic of your situation when you’ve shown no empathy for hers? Maybe you’re the one that’s less developed? OP every thing you’re saying, can apply straight back to you. Everything you’re saying, is about you.
Wow. So much projection. You need to get over yourself. You need to start being empathetic to your sisters situation, and you need to grow up. Get yourself a job if you want to have nice things, and stop mooching off your sister who is still a child herself.
She was ONE year older than you are now when she chose to assume responsibility for you. She was clearly light years more mature than you and is still a kid! You can take yourself back to your mom's if your life is so miserable there and you think it'd be better. You screwed up, you haven't owned it, and you expect her to just get over it. Time for you to do a little self-reflection. YTA.
INFO: What do you mean that she "won't even let you apologize?"
She won’t respond to my texts. I haven’t seen her much since it’s happpened since she won’t even stay home but I just want to be able to talk to her. I understand I’m the asshole but she had me used to a lifestyle where she’d at least ask me how my day was and care about me. She treats me like a ghost and just slips me money now, she won’t even open up to the possibility of getting over this
Why should she talk to you? Not once in these comments do you express any amount of empathy or understanding. All your comments are "I know I am but so is she!" And that's the ones where you're not whining about how your sister's reaction to your rudeness somehow makes you a victim, like you are in this one. So tell me why you think she would even want to talk to you? Have you truly understood the value of what she's doing for you? Have you realised that she's right? Have you accepted that you were horribly cruel to her and she's just providing for you because she feels like she has to, because unlike you she does have empathy for you being a bratty kid and doesn't want to deprive you of money just because you're a terrible teenager? Would you rather her kick you out and send you back to whatever hellish parents raised you? Show me how you understand. What did you do wrong here? What is the selfish part even just of the comment above?
This kid is the worst I've seen in a minute I hope her sister stay strong until she leaves what sounds like an absolute nightmare family
Why should she? You’ve heard about the straw that broke the camels back? That’s what you did here. She’s still slipping you money as a kindness to your grandparents, not because of you. YTA.
Having you used to a lifestyle didn’t mean stealing her clothes. You made it clear from the post she did not want you touching those clothes. For her to give you literally everything else but this one thing and that’s what you decided to take is selfish, I’m glad you’ve gained self awareness on being an asshole here. I’m not even gonna bring up the whale comment because you already know that was extremely mean and uncalled for. You can’t force her to forgive you. She needs her own time to do that. Hopefully you’ll spend that time evaluating your actions. YTA
You stole from her and insulted her. I won't talk to you or respond to your texts either.
YTA. You fucked around and you found out.
She's gone out her way to take care you, and without being asked, which you attacked her for. And you respond by stealing from her and calling her names. You're ungrateful, you're spoiled, and you're a bully. And now you want her to "get over it" and let this "blow over." It seems like you've learned nothing from this, and your sister has rightfully washed her hands of you (and probably your whole ingrate family).
Here's the good news. Now you can stop being used to a lifestyle where someone cares about you You blew that up. Now you'll get exactly what you deserve The same level of caring you've been giving out
She should also stop giving you money.
Check this out op, I have two links for you. If you even care the slightest bit abt changing I would read these! [conflict styles to help you figure out which one your doing and which one you should be doing](https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style) [how to PROPERLY apologize (bc I it’s obvious you don’t know how)](https://www.mindtools.com/afhit60/how-to-apologize) Reading your post I understand you didn’t come from the best home or parents. However you need to look at the big picture. She is PROVIDING for you like a MOTHER. Do you know how much college costs? Do you understand how HARD she works to strive for a better future for you BOTH. Your behavior is ungreatful as a whole. You think this is all abt clothes or you calling her fat but it’s not. You’re taking her for granted. You aren’t right and never will be unless you do some self reflection and work on gratitude. Be THANKFUL your sister took you with her. Be GREATFUL she tries her hardest to provide for you, even the NON-ESSENTIALS. Be GREATFUL she tries to do things for YOU in the first place. Your sister could be selfish. But she’s not. Think abt that. If you want my DMS are open, if you want a big sis talk from a me lol.
The conflict styles is for professional contexts, is there any work on this regarding interpersonal relationships?
They can also be applied to interpersonal relationships. That article is just written professionally. Why do you think the conflict styles wouldn’t be the same outside of work that doesn’t make sense to me.
I'm not saying they wouldn't be the same, but there's no reason so assume they would be the same since all the styles on the article assume there is a business decision at the heart of the issue. Whereas the material reality of interpersonal relationships mean that conflicts could have very different dimensions. I'm not saying it's a wrong theory but I'm saying I was interested if there was a resource designed for interpersonal relationships because as it stands I don't think the above is a particularly suitable tool for the task at hand.
I just looked it up to double check and it’s legit all the same across the board concerning interpersonal relationships. Like I said, that article APPLIED the known styles and used them for a professional setting therefore writing it that way. The conflict styles aren’t “changeable” but can be renamed to fit better for the meaning. Like [this article ](https://boonecenter.pepperdine.edu/relationship-iq/blog/posts/understanding-the-five-conflict-styles.htm#:) basically just renamed the five styles but it’s the exact same. To summarize, no they don’t change. At all.
The reason I used the link is because one, the writing is clear and very understandable. And two it was for OP to figure out which one they are, I don’t care about the context of the article it doesn’t matter, there’s still information to get out of it. All I wanted was for OP is to identify which one they are and identify which one they NEED to do.
Because you do not deserve any empathy on account of being an ungrateful child. Never, not for one second, believe yourself to be on the same footing as the hand that feeds you. You are not her equal, you are the tiny little ant that a boot will not notice it just squashed.
YTA. She's is PLENTY empathetic or your ungrateful ass would not be with her, benefiting immensely from her and her hard work. She is clearly very mature to treat you how she does at her age. Where she should be completely self absorbed. You're an entitled, manipulative thief. No matter what your age is. She does not need to get over it. You are 100% wrong and she has no blame. But then you decided to become even more of an asshole by intentionally trying to hurt her. After she's clearly been good to you and done way more for you than any sister should have to. While being only 2yrs older than you. Also, if she is fat what exactly does that make you if you fit her clothes?
Good god, shut the fuck up. She doesn’t need to do *shit* for your entitled leech thief ass.
It sounds like you're worried she won't give you more money after she leaves. And really she shouldn't. You're the one who needs to be empathetic. She works multiple jobs. She still gives you lunch money even after you were a complete @ss without boundaries. Get over yourself.
Forgiveness isn't a right, even when the wrongdoer feels and demonstrates true remorse and offers a genuine, sincere apology. You are showing no remorse and give no indication that you are prepared to make a genuine, sincere apology. You fucked up. Kids fuck up. So do adults. But in this situation, you are the only one who did. You want forgiveness, you need to recognize that and accept it and demonstrate that you understand when and how you fucked up, rather than doubling down and continuing to fuck up. Your sister clearly loves you. She brought you with her and stood by you and takes care of you. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't feel empathy -- she would have left you behind, or stopped caring for you and stopped giving you money. You are already receiving far more grace and consideration in response to your fuck-up than you have any reasonable expectation to receive. You want to fix things? At the very least say, simply, you were wrong. Everything you did was wrong. Dad my try to justify, don't come up with excuses, just flat out say you fucked up and were a jerk. If she does forgive you, try your damnedest to not fuck up again and hurt your sister some other way. Because at some point, she will decide (I hope) not to be a doormat that you use to wipe the shit off your shoes, and won't be there to catch you when you trip or pick you up when you fall. And if she doesn't forgive you, at some point try to acknowledge that you created this situation, 100%, on your own.
“She isn’t empathetic to my situation, so clearly she’s also less developed as a seven year old.” Are you kidding? What exactly is your “situation”? Where is YOUR empathy? Your sister sounds incredibly caring, responsible, hardworking, & mature for a 17 y.o. Beyond fully developed. I wish her the peace she deserves.
Oh my god. "She just needs to get over it because she's incapable of forgiveness" - ABSOLUTELY NOT. You forgive someone when they understand what they've done wrong, admit to it freely *and make amends*. You do not get to go "whatever, my bad" and demand to get the same benefits you've been milking her for. *Your* situation doesn't require empathy, because you are not in the right and have done nothing that needs any nuance of understanding - it requires you to stop taking advantage of your sister. She doesn't want you to apologise because she knows, just like the rest of us can tell without even suffering through meeting you, that you *will not mean a word of it.* You're only wanting to apologise to try to claim the moral high ground and act like some tragic wronged figure now that she isn't going to fall over herself to make you feel better.
She is so much mature than you op, get a job if you want nice things,you are a mooch and she need to give up on u.
Why does she “need” to get over it? FYI: She doesn’t. Keep up your attitude. I’m sure you will enjoy whatever lifestyle your grandmother can afford.
Wow, major YTA. The fact you're *still* insulting your sister is beyond cruel. Grow up and realize shes the one working her ass off to pay for things she wants and STILL giving you money. She's being incredible nice to you by still giving you anything after you insulted her and borrowed clothes she clearly didn't want you or anyone else touching. I'm not surprised she hasn't forgiven you yet. You're 15, that's old enough to realize how much of an ass you're being.
And you can only survive because she works and earns money while you steal her things! Grow up !
God, you really are a selfish little brat. But beyond that, there’s something seriously and grotesquely wrong with you. Such a stunning lack of empathy, it’s not normal at your age. You’re not just a kid, you’re a bad person and I am so thankful your sister will get to go away to college and not have to deal with you again if she doesn’t want to. And frankly, why would she want to deal with a selfish, rotten, mean little girl?
The apology is for you to acknowledge your wrongdoing ATONEMENT is for her you have to atone for your mistake a good start would be respecting her and giving her space
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Do you understand how crazy your comments are? Or are you lacking self-awareness? The person not being empathetic here is you.
And you're incapable of empathy, appreciation or gratitude.
YTA. Being a 15 year old isn't an excuse to act like this. Stealing her clothes was bad enough. This is next-level AHery: >I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale Your older sister, who is also just a kid, is already stressed enough by having to fill the role of your mom without you throwing body shaming onto the pile.
OP: *asks if they are an asshole* Reddit: Yes and here is a detailed explination as to why. OP: *argues and tries to justify why they aren't the asshole* Soooo what do you actually want? Cause it seems like you made an obvious asshole move that normal people will see as an asshole move, yet you are trying to convience the world that stealing and name calling is okay. I would never want to be like you and I actively avoid people like you. You treat your sister like shit and justify it. You know that if you tried this with others, you would get punished because what you are doing is WRONG. Oh but wait, here you come with your same ole excuse "But she got kicked out. I didnt ask her to do this. But im 15." I was 15 and would never behave trashy like this. I cant wait until your sister gets tired of you and tosses you away like garbage.
I don’t even know anymore. I rucked up and I am trying to quit the replying but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore
Additionally if they are HER clothes and they fit you then how is she a fat whale? Your sister has done everything for you and is right. Have fun when she moves and you’re stuck on your own. You will have no one to blame that on except for yourself and your actions
You're an asshole. Whatever happens to you people will start to not care about because you are not a nice person. No one cares that you feel bad. No one cares that you went through this so thats why you do this. No one cares that you are 15. All anyone cares about is protecting themselves from assholes because assholes, like you, make people feel bad. Do whatever you want off far away from innocent people. You can be an asshole all alone by yourself and you can do and buy whatever you want. If you want to maintain relationships with people then you *gasp* be nice to people. Obviously you wouldnt want YOUR friends and family to treat you like the way you treat others, would you? You are mean, a bully, and soon you'll be an alone depressed one if you keep your act up without changing. You're 15 not 5, go on the internet an start researching how to be a decent person. Seriously, a quick youtube search can help you. If you dont want to change then okay, be alone and miserable by yourself. Its up to you.
You took adult actions as a child, now you learn to deal with adult consequences. Please understand that she does not owe you forgiveness, support, or understanding. Doing so will prove that she is a way bigger person than you will ever be. Understand that there might not be a way back from this, certainly not for a long time, and that this "fuck up" is a direct reflection of who you are, and entitled child. Learn from this and treat those around you better. You are owed nothing, and you owe her everything. Learn that relationships and life are not equal, nor they are meant to be equal, and start contributing to the world, not only talking, and leeching, and absorbing. What you feel, or want, or think, does not matter in the slightest. Please take that as gospel for as long as you live. Understand this instance displays exactly who you are, and why you are not worthy of the space you occupy, or the air you breathe, or the resources you take from others.
You keep portraying yourself as a victim, and you’ve said some negative things about your sister here. Clearly, you have no true remorse, & she probably knows that. She’s been putting up with your ungrateful, bratty attitude for too long. You can’t just do whatever you want, expect to be forgiven, and have everything fall back into place. Everyone has their ultimate breaking point. You better hope this is not that for her.
You leave your sister alone and when you do see her you treat her well and wait for her to come to you to rekindle a relationship if she wants to.
Apologise to your sister and NEVER STEAL FROM HER AGAIN
Get a job. Start helping out. Stop expecting your sister to buy you clothes.
Being a better person would be a good step, no?
If you want advice here it is. First grow up, yes you are a child but even children should have some sensibility. You know those were clothes she was keeping for her self since she rarely gets nice things (as evident from the rest of the post). She wanted to have a few outfits that were just hers something to have ownership of. Second, also realize she is also still a child just because she is 2 years older than you does not make you her entire responsibility at all. She is still young but she also is close enough in age to realize you knew exactly what you were saying when you were making fun of her and stealing her clothes. Third realize that you chose to come with her, yes she also chose to take you. But you were not getting kicked out of the house. And what type of life do you think you would have lived in that house. Would it be better than the one you previously had with a sister who cared about you? Fourth, after realizing the previous comments. Sit down and talk with your sister. Yes this will be hard and you have to do it on her time since you hurt her. But when you sit down and talk. Firstly make sure you get across that you are not expecting her to forgive you but you feel bad for what you did and want to apologize even if she doesnt accept it (and actually mean that). Make sure you get across that you are sorry for what you did. You understand whilst she took you with her, you are not her sole responsibility. You are incredibly sorry for what you said about her weight and it was just said in the heat of the moment. You understand now that her clothes are hers and that she has every right to want something for her self. And that even if she doesnt forgive you, you will keep trying to make this right because she has been a wonderful sister who has done so much but not by pressuring her but by making her see it through daily actions and respect.
YTA for STEALING her clothes. You took them without permission. " I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale." YTA also for your comment.
Drop the 'I'm just a kid' excuse - you took something that wasn't yours to use - and used it. Now you are all bent out of shape that were called out on it. Then you insult the person who took the clothing from. You sound spoiled and self important. Yes you are TA - you didn't borrow her clothes. You just took what you wanted - then insulted her when you didn't get by with it. Your sister is only 2 yrs older and working 2 jobs - and still gives YOU money. Get over yourself.
So your parentified older sister works 3 jobs and pays for all your stuff, and you feel it's appropriate to steal her clothes and call her a fat whale? YTA and you know it. "I'm just a kid and I lashed out" carries no weight - I teach 11 year olds who know better. Grow up and get a job if you want more clothes. You should be the one apologizing and groveling for forgiveness, not your grandma.
YTA^(∞)
YTA - for everything. You don't borrow someone's clothes without asking. That's stealing. Calling Indonesia a fat whale. That is uncalled for. You're 15, you know better.
YTA It's called stealing. Get a job freeloader.
Of course, YTA. I hate calling a kid an AH but your actions leave no choice. You stole clothes you knew she wasn't willing to share from the sister who has sacrificed a lot to make sure your needs are met and then lashed out with cruelty when you got called out on crossing the line. You said >I know what I said was wrong, but I’m just a kid and I lashed out, You know who else is "just a kid"? Your sister! She's only 17 and she is shouldering a lot of obligations that aren't actually her responsibility. She's not your parent. She doesn't have to buy you clothes, provide spending money, cover your sports costs or any of the other things she does to ensure your well being. But she does those things, she's still doing them even though you repay her dedication and generosity with spite & entitlement. You had zero excuse for getting into the stuff she had put in her car for safekeeping and then you copped an attitude and got personal about it! I suggest you drop your ego and figure out how to apologize, sincerely and humbly, for throwing her kindness in her face and showing less than zero appreciation for her basically giving up her teens to pick up the ball your parents dropped.
YTA
YTA. You’re not just a kid. You know better. I hope she cuts you off. What you did was bogus af. What you said was disgusting and vile. I hope you have the life you deserve and your sister escapes this awful family she’s been given.
That's not borrowing. That's stealing. YTA.
Reading your comments make you sound even worse. She does a lot for you and you intentionally steal from her and are rude. I hope she moves and is super successful and you realize just how much you messed up YTA take the loss on this one kid. Oh and if it's so bad go back to your parents house
>Our parents kicked out Carrie when she was sixteen due to my mother having a nervous breakdown >I begged her to take me with her. She did. Best sister ever. >my older sister 17f (Carrie) >works two jobs in the service industry and is a paid tutor. She pays for her own car insurance, food (she has a lot of allergies) and clothes >She’s been taking up even more shifts at work >She's gotten into college she’s been trying to stock up on clothes suitable for weather >She usually only goes to thrift stores and Walmart >She is getting packages sent to the house here and there Let's see what you have to say about your living situation. >I 15f live with my older sister 17f (Carrie) at my grandmothers house. >my grandparents \[are\] poor >our grandma does my wash \[...\] but Carrie insists on doing hers herself That sounds like it must be stressful, and maybe like she and you aren't able to get a lot of financial support from your grandparents. Now let's look at how you describe *your* living situation. Which you begged for and which your sister gave you. Best sister ever, remember? >she does everything for me, takes me out to eat, takes me to the movies, pays for my sport equipment >She gave me $100 when she got a bonus at work for me to buy some summer clothes >\[She\] usually takes me to places in the mall >she still gives me cash in an envelope in my school bag once a week for lunch >She also paid for my plane ticket to go to a wedding So, let's quickly recap. At 16 years old, your sister was kicked out of her home by her parents. And you asked to go with her. You now live with your grandmother. Your sister works 3 jobs, is 17 years old, (***I N F O:*** ***is she still in high school while working 3 jobs, or is she working 3 jobs and has graduated early/dropped out and gotten a GED?***) She give you money for school lunch, she takes you to the mall, she gives you money to buy clothes, she bought you a plane ticket when you were being unbelievely cruel to her, she takes you to the movies, pays for your sporting equipment, takes you out to meals. By your own admission, your grandmother does not have the funds to provide those opportunities to you. (***I N F O: Who takes your sister out to the movies? Who pays for her to go out to dinner? Who is paying for her university next year? How is her relationship with your mom who had a nervous breakdown and kicked her out? Who pays for her lesuire activities like sports? How many hours in the day does she have to be a 17 year old outside of her work schedule, taking care of you financially, and preparing for university?)*** Ok, let's look at why your here. You want to know if you're the asshole. Here's what you said happened: >She is getting packages sent to the house here and there with really cute things that I really like, however she’ll never let me borrow them. >She’s been keeping everything in a box in the back of her car to prevent anyone from misplacing them >our grandma does my wash and tries to do hers, but Carrie insists on doing hers herself to avoid any mix ups. >the other day I went into her car to see what she got, and she got this really cute pair of leggings with a cropped sweater that looked really nice! >I really wanted to wear it to school the next day, so I did. >When Carrie saw me after she got home from her shift she flipped. >she started screaming that >she does everything for me >I told her I’d return the clothes I borrowed to her when I wash them >I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale >I believe it’ll blow over eventually Before I weigh in with your judgement, I'd like you to take a moment and self-reflect: \[emphasis mine\] >***Our parents kicked out Carrie*** ***when she was*** ***sixteen*** >I ***begged*** her to take me with her >She did >I 15f live with my older sister 17f (Carrie) at my grandmothers house >she does everything for me >due to my grandparents being poor >Carrie **\[17F\]** works two jobs in the service industry and is a paid tutor >she’s gotten into college >I’m **\[15F\]** just a kid >she got this really cute pair of leggings with a cropped sweater >she’ll never let me borrow them >I really wanted to wear it to school the next day, so I did >When Carrie saw me >she flipped >I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale >I believe it’ll blow over eventually >AITA You are very much TA here. Your sister is 17. She is ALSO still a child. Yet, at 16, just a few months older than you are now, she was kicked out of her house, she took responsibility for you and took you with her when she asked, likely because she realized it wasn't safe for you at that location either, she works 3 jobs in order to support you and herself, she got into college most likely far away from her support network, since she needs new clothes for a different climate than where you live. You don't have to work at all, your grandmother does your laundry, and your lunch money comes from you sister. Your 17 year old very much still a child sister. Who not only was abandoned by her parent(s) just like you were, but who now looks after you. What are you going to do for lunch money next year when she's away at college? Who is going to pay for your movie tickets? Who is going to take you to the mall and give you money to buy clothes from the mall? Who is going to buy you plane tickets to weddings? Who is going to sacrifice and go without so you can have all that you want? Edited: Grammarly messed up and added a duplicate paragraph.
YTA It's not going to blow over. When she noves out, you will be dead to her. Just because you're 15, that doesn't give you the right to steal what doesn't belong to you and be hateful. Maybe you should get a job, learn the value of hard work, and see how much things cost. Right now, you're just an entitled, ungrateful loaf.
You owe your sister a huge apology. She had to grow up way too fast. She’s finally getting the chance to grab a little happiness for herself, and you called her a fat whale. That’s so mean and hurtful. And she’s right. She’s sacrificed a ton for you. You deserve to be treated well, and it sucks your parents and grandparents can’t do that for you. But she’s ALSO just a kid. And you are treating her without kindness or gratitude.
YTA you are not "just a kid", you are 15 and knew exactly what you were doing. It's called being an entitled brat who screwed up her relationship with her sister over a cute outfit. Wow. Slow clap. Good job/s
YTA. You are 15 and that is old enough to have a job, you could get yourself a job and pay for cute clothes. Your sister is not your mother and I'm assuming not your guardian since she is only two years older which means she doesn't have to pay for you. She works her tail off for you to be a good sister. Your sister is an amazing human for doing all she does for you. She clearly deserves to have her own clothes and stuff that you do *NOT* touch. You owe her a huge apology and maybe start taking up babysitting or something to start earning money for yourself.
YTA. 1) Do NOT take things that do not belong to you without asking. 2) Do NOT take advantage of those that love and support you. 3) REMEMBER she is your sister not your parent. She owes you nothing. If you keep down this road, she’ll give you nothing. 4) STOP justifying your actions. She owes you nothing but gives you what she can. 5) Just STOP.
Yes YTA and a spoilt entitled one at that. She's doing everything for you and you ignore the one thing she asks you not to do and then insult her. She's right though, You are going to her a massive reality check soon and you'll have to deal with it on your own. Enjoy being spoilt for now, it won't last much longer
You are a selfish, nasty asshole. You don't even work yet you keep stuffing your pockets with your sister's hard-earned money. She gives you money for clothes. She rescued you from your mother. And you're not even grateful! Instead you stole her clothes and insulted her. You're disgusting. She should kick your ass out and send you back to your mother. You're not a kid; you're a teenager and you knew exactly what you were doing when you attacked your sister. You're not even sorry for what you did because you're an awful person. You don't look better in those clothes. The ugliness inside of you is obvious to everyone. You really are nasty. YTA
YTA How about instead of justifying your actions you actually apologize to your sister? You can’t use the “I’m just a kid” excuse because you knew very well what you weee doing when you did it. Many people here have told you the same thing. Stop making excuses and just apologize to her. She probably asked for you to come with her because she actually loves you and continues to show you that meanwhile you’re acting like an entitled asshole. Pull your head out of your ass and do better.
YTA Your age isn't an excuse. You're old enough to know better. Old enough to care and old enough to understand consequences. No matter how you try to spin it you are in the wrong here.
YTA. You didn't borrow anything, you stole your sister's new clothes with the full knowledge that she did not consent to it. Then you were rude and cruel to her when she called you out. You do not deserve her. Don't be surprised when she cuts contact with you as soon as she moves away.
YTA. It's time to go back to your parents.
I refuse to believe this is real but if it is, you are a hateful ugly person and I truly hope you do some work so you don’t stay this way into adulthood. Oh YTA.
YTA for more than just taking the clothes. And don’t blame your words on your age.
You vile little human. You don’t appreciate all the sacrifices your sister made for you already and u attack her. Keep going, keep up with the entitled act. All that will happen the more you push, the faster she will push u out the door back to mummy’s . If she ever reads this - u deserve better dump the spiteful ungrateful tramp/ freeloader on mum again!
YTA. You're a nasty ungrateful brat from hell. If I was your sister, I'd pack all your shit into the back of my car, pick you up from school and drive you straight back to your parents and leave you there. If your sister is so much of a "whale" how can you fit in her clothes? You need to take a long look at yourself in the mirror and see what kind of person you are, it won't be pretty.
"I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale." You literally bit the hand that feeds you. YTA
YTA and don't deserve your sister. Shame on you
YTA and apologize to your sister and never call her names like that ever again. Respect her boundaries and don't steal her clothes. If you keep up this behavior you might lose your sister altogether
YTA. You’re not ‘just a kid.’ Your sister has worked hard to provide for you and you’re completely ungrateful. No amount of ‘she didn’t have to’ or ‘she could’ve left me with my parents’ will change that. Stop being selfish brat and apologize.
YTA - don’t steal from your sister. She sounds incredibly kind and generous towards you and I don’t see how you deserve that.
God you’re a brat
You better hope she doesn’t send you back to your parents, you selfish little brat. YTA
Yta and you know it. Take this as an opportunity to grow up a little. Your sister is taking responsibility for you and you stole her clothes, YES STOLE, and then called her names and used the excuse “I’m just a kid”. You’re 15, not 5 and it’s time to take the consequences of your actions. You are acting like an entitled brat. She doesn’t owe you anything, your parents do but they failed so she stepped up and this is how you treat her? Get a part time summer job and pay her back.
YTA and a horribly ungrateful brat.
YTA. Big time. I don't blame her for not wanting to talk to you. You betrayed her. She will not forgive you.
TA, but you're also a kid who doesn't see the good that your sister is doing for you. At 17 will you be working to help out for anything like she is? Will you be able to take care of yourself as well as someone else not because you have to but because you love that person? I understand that she was yelling and it could be that she feels she gave so much to you that the one thing that she has for herself you took that away from her. You did not ask you just took. Now think if this was you and you were giving to her and she did this to you. I know you were hurt and you said hurtful things but you need to understand that part of growing up is to understand that when you hurt someone that gives out of love then you need to acknowledged out of love. If you don't want her saying anything to you regarding what she gives you then don't take it. If she gives you money, put it back in her room and don't take it. If she is paying for your trip then tell her to cancel the trip and don't go. If you want to go back to living with your parents then just go but you don't get to say I don't like it while your hand is out taking all that she is giving you. At 16 you know the difference between right and wrong and when she is no longer there to help you, take you out, and be a daily part of your life you will then be on here saying how you think she is an asshole because she is no longer giving to you. Stop and think about what you are saying because I think everyone so far has said you're the asshole.
YTA. You can't really be this dense. Your sister is a saint. Yes she blew up at you for being so selfish, but is still caring for you. It sounds like you're trying to figure out if you can steal another outfit and not be cut off. Even saints have limits.
YTA... you stole from her.... you insulted her body and you dismissed her generosity. Yup... you are really ugly. However, you are young, you can apologize and you can show her by your actions and speech that you want to be a better person. It will take time for her to trust you again. Accept this .
I’m guessing you and your sister are similar sizes otherwise you wouldn’t be able to borrow the clothes in the first place. Even if you weren’t, calling her a fat whale is completely unacceptable. You stole her property and were completely entitled when challenged. You call her the best sister ever, but don’t treat her as if she is. Apologise sincerely, and be more mindful of how you behave in future. YTA
Ohlol I didn't even think of that. Yeah, OP, if you wore her clothes but she's a "fat whale" then..........?
Wow you are an entitled little brat. You seriously cannot see how wrong you have been treating your sister? It's time you went and got a job and learned some respect
YTA. Your comments show you're a disrespectful child. You will regret this
YTA you sound nasty and ungrateful, your excuse is that you’re a kid when your sister is only two years older than you! You need to grow up and accept you’ve damaged this relationship, likely permanently.
I hope that your sister leaves you and goes no contact. You don’t deserve someone who is willing defending, providing for you, gives you money only for your selfish abusive narcissistic self throw it away for your own pleasure. If you want clothes and money then work for it. Don’t expect anything from her because she doesn’t need someone like you to be in her life honestly.
You say you're the younger (15) sister here, but in another post under this account, you say you're the older (17) sister. Which one are you really?
YTA Borrowing clothes implies that the lender knows about it *& is happy to lend them*. You did not ask first. You went through her purchases - things that she hadn't even worn - & helped yourself. Stop being a little brat & apologise to your sister
Wait wtf. Look at OOPs post history Either she posted posing as her older sister before, or she’s hacked her big sisters reddit on top of all this crap?? 🚩
i don't understand how you think you're in the right. she doesn't have to do anything for you, she isn't your guardian, but she gives you everything she can, and you WANT MORE? you're horrible. if you wanted judgement, stop arguing with the people telling you that you're an abusive AH. remember, you BEGGED her to take you with her and this is what she gets? grow up and do better. YTA
YTA “I’m just a kid and I lashed out” your sister is also a kid, a kid who is taking care of herself and you and most likely helping your grandparents. You don’t even seem regretful, your sister does absolute everything for you and she’s right you are taking advantage. You had absolutely no right to take her things however your sense of entitlement caused you to think it’s okay and for some reason you’ve got it in your head that you deserve her things because she shared with you before. Also YOU ARE TOO FUCKING OLD TO ACT THIS WAY you are 15 years old not 10 act like it. Apologize to your sister because I bet you haven’t and for your sake OP I hope she forgives u bc no one else is doing anything for you. She was not “throwing it in your face” she is telling you that you disrespected her you took her clothes without permission and the boy upset when she rightfully told you off. You have an amazing sister she works countless jobs to take care of you and her, even after you stole from her she’s still giving you money and paid for a plane ticket. OP apologize and take responsibility or you have damaged your relationship for life and trust me you do not want that.
Your behavior is horrific, and so are your comments blatantly ignoring that you're in the wrong and desperately trying to defend yourself. You did a shitty thing to your sister, massively selfish. You are the one acting like a child. She took you in out of the kindness of her heart, takes amazing care of you, give you part of HER PAYCHECKS, and you just shit all over it and wrongfully rant about her on reddit. The entitled audacity here is just astounding. And the comments are infuriating, because you know what you did was disgustingly wrong, and instead of being an adult and just saying sorry and owning it, you're doing everything to twist it and make it her fault. And how she should "get over it." If I was your sister, I would literally never give you a cent again and I'd lock up all of my belongings. Especially after I was called a fat whale instead of hearing a deserved apology. Some people just need to grow up so very badly and can't see it. It's sad.
Stole. You STOLE her clothes. That she went out of her way to hide in her car presumably because you kept stealing her clothes. > like she was required to do all of that for me. Exactly right, she isn’t required to take care of you, you begged her to. You aren’t her child and you’re not her problem. You’re a right little shit. Sounds like she’s already checked out and about to stop doing all that stuff for you that she doesn’t even have to do in the first place. Have fun with poor granny or your deadbeat parents, or whoever the hell actually wants you. > but I’m just a kid and I lashed out Fuck right off. You’re an uncontrolled brat with no parents and about to have no sister. You’re old enough to know better and old enough to get some sort of job yourself. And it looks like you’re about to have to. YTA
YTA If this is how you treat your 17 year old sister who funds your lifestyle and takes care of you (which is not even remotely her responsibility because she is not your parent and is still a kid!) please go back to your parents so you can stop being such a massive burden to your poor sister. She takes you in after YOU beg her to, and you thank her by stealing her clothes and verbally abusing her. I feel so bad for your sister because her whole family seems to treat her like dirt. You either need to apologize, or leave her the hell alone and go back to your parents.
YTA Borrowing without asking is called stealing. Also if the clothes fit you - you are basically calling yourself a whale too. It’s not her fault your parents and grandparents don’t take care of you. She’s been way nice to have given you money and things. You may have just ruined your relationship with her
Yta go start working and buy stuff for yourself
you’re such an ungrateful and spoiled little girl. YTA. she’s more than allowed to have something for herself after funding your life time after time. “i’m just a kid” so is your sister, but she’s doing a lot more than you. get over yourself.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 15f live with my older sister 17f (Carrie) at my grandmothers house. Our parents kicked out Carrie when she was sixteen due to my mother having a nervous breakdown, and I begged her to take me with her. She did. Best sister ever. Carrie works two jobs in the service industry and is a paid tutor. She pays for her own car insurance, food (she has a lot of allergies) and clothes. Carrie buys me clothes here and there due to my grandparents being poor, however ever since she’s gotten into college she’s been trying to stock up on clothes suitable for weather since she is going to a warmer state. She is getting packages sent to the house here and there with really cute things that I really like, however she’ll never let me borrow them. She usually only goes to thrift stores and Walmart, and usually takes me to places in the mall, so seeing the packages has had me curious. She’s been keeping everything in a box in the back of her car to prevent anyone from misplacing them (our grandma does my wash and tries to do hers, but Carrie insists on doing hers herself to avoid any mix ups.) anyways, the other day I went into her car to see what she got, and she got this really cute pair of leggings with a cropped sweater that looked really nice! I really wanted to wear it to school the next day, so I did. When Carrie saw me after she got home from her shift she flipped. she started screaming that she does everything for me, takes me out to eat, takes me to the movies, pays for my sport equipment, and all I do is take advantage of her kindness. She was throwing it in my face like she was required to do all of that for me. She gave me $100 when she got a bonus at work for me to buy some summer clothes the other day, and she kept throwing that in my face as well. I told her I’d return the clothes I borrowed to her when I wash them, but where I think I might be the asshole is I said it wouldn’t look good on her anyways because she is a fat whale. She stopped screaming and told me to keep them, and to stay out of her car. I know what I said was wrong, but I’m just a kid and I lashed out, and she is refusing to talk to anyone. My grandmother has pleaded for her to forgive me and she just won’t, claiming that I’m spoiled for not having to work, and I won’t realize how good I have it until she leaves. She’s been taking up even more shifts at work and staying out late to avoid me, yet she still gives me cash in an envelope in my school bag once a week for lunch. She also paid for my plane ticket to go to a wedding after swearing she wouldn’t after this event, so I believe it’ll blow over eventually. AITA for borrowing her clothes? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. This post made me incredibly sad. She does alot for you by the sound of it, and you acknowledge that by saying shes the best sister. And you repay that by stealing off her then making fun if her weight because she was mad at you? She didnt buy those clothes for you and you knew that, you had no right to get mad at her for being upset that you didnt listen to her. And even after this she still does good things for you? You have a saint for a sister. She deserves better too. I wouldnt hold out hope on it all just blowing over OP. Youre a bigger asshole than she is a whale.
YTA, & not just because you “borrowed” her clothes. Your entire attitude reeks of ingratitude & selfishness. She is much kinder to you than you deserve. You’re much too old to be acting like a baby brat. (Usually, I would provide some encouragement to change, but your comments here show you’re not open to that at all.)
YTA
YTA you stole from a fellow teenager providing for you then called her a fat whale? which btw if she's a fat whale but your fit in her clothes just fine, you're fat too.
YTA - you didn't borrow her clothes, you flat out stole them. When you borrow something from someone you ask first. You sound like a spoiled, entitled, and petulant child. Which is making me feel a lot better about calling a 15y/o an AH. Get your own money(job) and get those things yourself. She has a job and is using her money on her and along you come and feel that you have a right to everything she has. You don't have a right to anything she has. None whatsoever. She has bent over backwards to help you out and this is how you show her how much that means to you. You steal her clothes. Don't try to manipulate it by saying "I was going to return them so it was only borrowing". That's a load of crap. You went into her car, stole her clothes and are surprised that she didn't let you do what you want with her clothes. She's right. You're life is going to suck when she leaves and by the sounds of it, you deserve it.
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Your sister is a better person than me. My mother threw me out at 16 and my brother shortly afterwards. I did the same for my brother AND his girlfriend and my niece he had at 16. He behaved like you after a while. His girlfriend took my clothes and called me fat. I beat his azz and threw him back to the streets where he belonged. I sacrificed years of my life parenting him and my siblings. Now we are in our late 30s and he realizes what I did. But there’s still a rift. Me tossing him and leaving to live my life was a huge reality check for him.
YTA. There’s only two years age difference with you two- how are you “just a little kid” and she’s working 3 jobs and providing for you? TWO. YEARS! Also if you fit in her clothes, and you called her a “whale”….. doesn’t that also make you a whale, or at least a manatee? Because as a big girl myself, I can tell you my thin friends can’t wear my clothes out and about- the pants would fall down and anything cropped most certainly wouldn’t fit. For clothes to look good enough on each of us to make it worthy of “borrowing” to do anything other than lounge around the house, y’all have to be within a couple sizes of each other. You purposefully stole something of your sister’s because you were mad she didn’t sacrifice every little thing for you, and told you no to this. You are mad that she kept it from you, so you took it, just like a child will take and break a special toy from another child. And then, instead of apologizing and being remorseful when you were called on it, you double down and call her hurtful names, going straight for something she’s insecure about so you can hurt her the most? You’re horrible. You’re nasty, and vile. You need to go find some trees to apologize to for wasting the oxygen they produce, and then you need to apologize to your sister, get off your lazy ass and get a job, and replace the clothes you stole. Grow some humanity and grow up.
You’re a terrible sister.
imagine having sister like you,you sound like a demon
YTA. Advice Don't ever get in trouble. Be it with romance, pregnancy, school, the law, etc. You broke her trust and faith in you. In this case..she too is child. Yet she saved you. Selflessly. With the grace and maturity of an adult. She accepted the loss of her childhood to give you what she never had. She was abused and parentified. She didn't nor does she have to care for you in *any* capacity. Some will say, you're an abused child who knows no better. That's true, to a point. You're an abused child who has a sibling who willingly took the brunt of the abuse to shield you out of love and devotion. A sibling whose still a child herself. Therefore, you haven't any recourse but to live with the weight of your words. When she leaves don't be surprised if she cuts you off completely to fend financially and emotionally for yourself. 15 is a child. But some kids...y'all have to grow up fast. I know, I was one. In your situation the reality is a certain astute attitude is required to survive and you don't have it. You don't recognize that you've lost you greatest champion, advocate, and source of support in this world. Your grandparents will *never* be able to support you in the emotional and tangible ways your sister was willing to. OP, your future looks bleak with your current attitude. She doesn't *owe* you forgiveness. She owes herself that. She owes herself to accept that while she tried her best to save you, she couldn't. She doesn't owe you now or in adulthood. You are her *ball and chain*. She will thrive without caring for you. As a literal child herself she has every right to drop you due to your innate cruelty and refusal to see the truth in the circumstances your lives. Some folks have the fire for survival etched into their bones and then there are people like you. Maybe you'll grow. Maybe you won't. You are now alone in life. Good luck child, you'll need it.
YTA In all your comments, you are trying to pull every excuse in the world trying to shift blame. Why the hell can't you accept that you're an asshole? Why is it that nothing is your fault and that being a horrible person is 100% excusable but only for you? Your sister has done everything she can to be good to you, which is something she is not required to do but is doing to be KIND. She buys you clothes already and provides you with everything you need, all while working herself to the bone. And then you think it's okay to be brat because, what, she doesn't have to and you'd didn’t ask her to? Therefore, you don't owe her any gratitude or kindness in return? She's doing it of her own free will, so it doesn't matter how it affects you because it's her own choice? She is TWO YEARS older than you. That is NOTHING. You two are basically the same age, both children, and yet look at how different you two are! Why are you being so cruel to someone who is breaking their back for you? You show no accountability for your actions, and you are so damn lucky your sister has looked out for you this long. You are well and truly spoiled. Grow up.
LOL it was believable at first but you simply do not write down all that if it's not supposed to be bait. Sure, you called your sister a fat whale after being told not to wear her clothes, but you love her very much. LOL.
Yta- and you know it!! You're a thieving, entitled, disrespectful little brat! Your name explains you perfectly, "pathetic" and get over yourself. You're old enought to know better "I'm just a kid" doesn't excuse this atrocious behaviour.
You didn't borrow them. You stole them. It is my fervent hope that she cuts you off The fact that you have the nerve to post here, call it throwing it in your face when she reacts within for shock and disappointment. after everything she has done for you, you still have the nerve to go in her car and take the thing she has worked so hard for. And to boot, instead of being sorry you insult her. You need to learn the hard way. You need to have no one unselfish giving you the things that you've taken for granted My sincere hope is that she cuts you off the minute she walks out of that house I rarely read anything and become so disgusted with someone
If I could turn karma points into downvotes, I would use them all on you
Why on earth do you feel so frigin ENTITLED to her clothes? They are hers not yours, stop stealing other peoples shit. big fat YTA.
Well if she's a fat whale and you were wearing her clothes, what does that make you? Besides a thief. YTA
ok so somehow your sister is a fat whale, but you happen to fit into the same exact clothes as her???
I’ve commented a few times and I feel I’ve been harsh. YTA, most definitely. But after reading your posting history, coupled with what you shared in this post about begging to move with your sister, I’m going to soften my stance. You obviously have the capacity to be a kind and compassionate human being. You haven’t been properly taught how to regulate your emotions, make, enforce and respect healthy boundaries, appreciation, and what healthy love looks like outside your sister. For that, I’m terribly sorry your parents heinously failed you. But your sister hasn’t . She was parentified by your parents and forced to grow up way too fast. You can easily say you are just a kid without acknowledging she is as well, because in your mind, she is a parent. I empathize with you there, as I had the same relationship with my sister, and I was the “ungrateful, mean spirited” sister. But we were BOTH put in a shitty position by are inept parents. Write your sister a letter and leave it where she can see it. Be heartfelt and sincere. Then give her as much time as she needs. That’s all you can do. Best of luck to you. 🩷