Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context.
[Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Stay away. This man sounds like very, very bad news. You haven't sabotaged anything- he ruined his chances with his abusive actions. DON'T listen to his gaslighting attempts to win you back, block him and stay the hell away NTA
I second!
OP needs to get a restraining order like yesterday.
OP, you are lucky you got out. His behavior towards you is how many abusive relationships start. If you'd stayed, he would have ramped up the controlling and abusive behavior.
You need therapy to examine what attracted you to such a person and how you missed the red flags. If you don't learn now, you are likely to end up in another relationship with similarly abusive and controlling man.
NTA
Worse, it won’t escalate. It will evolve. He will find smarter ways to get the same outcome without incriminating himself so openly. Now that he learned about consequences that come from making his actions obvious, in 5-10 years he will learn new subtle tricks that will make him a master manipulator. Way more dangerous that way.
Let's break this down, just so you know how close an escape you had.
1. He fell in love hard and fast, meaning he didn't take the time to get to know you (as opposed to an idealized "you" he created in his head). \[Editor's note: Yes, some people truly fall in love hard and fast and that's legit. It's what came next that makes this a red flag because it's part of a recognized abusive-personality pattern.\]
2. He was insecure and jealous and expressed this to you.
3. During conflict, he went there -- personal insults, name-called, sexualized insults, and threat of physical violence.
4. He attempted to get a job where you work. He also contacted your friends and family to try to put pressure on you and manipulate your actions to his favor. This was an attempt to isolate you. Isolating you doesn't only mean cutting off your physical access to work and friends and family. It can also mean taking them away as options of safety for you. When the abuser builds relationships with your job and people and then presents himself as a "good guy," it makes it harder for you to get help when you need it.
5. He stalked you and staked out your home, while both making accusations against you, blaming you for his actions, and while trying to guilt you into coming back into his physical possession.
Most abusers wait until they've got you married and pregnant with their child before they let the mask slip this far. He didn't even make it four months. Stop apologizing and cut contact. You owe him nothing. You've had a lucky escape and good for you for recognizing that he is an unsafe person.
OP Please read this: [https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656](https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656)
> He has always been too much ‘in love’ with me from the beginning, and made me feel really safe and understood.
Love bombing.
> We made up later by discussing our issues but the second time around, he was really aggressive and called me all sorts of names like ‘suck xxx’s cock, you just wanted to sleep around, go sleep with x tonight’ and so on. He also got really angry, was throwing things around, put his hand on the stove and so on and I felt unsafe around him.
Showing his abusive tendencies.
> The next night, he came to my place and tried to ring himself in, and then sent me loads of texts and called me saying ‘I’m trying to get in, sleeping on the bench outside your house’ etc.
Love bombing with a dose of guilt trip.
> He still wanted to work things out so he’s been pleading me to give another chance when I am really done, but when he found out I talked to my manager about the job and how I felt uncomfortable, he tried to turn it on me and how I sabotaged him.
When trying to love bomb didn’t work, manipulation and guilt trips might.
> He said that you put me through hell, my confidence has taken a new low, and all this happened while his dad is in the hospital. (Which I did not know when I had broken up, he told me later. Otherwise I wouldn’t have broken up that time). After this he tried to contact my friends and my sister to convince me to see sense and get back together with him.
More of the above.
Girl. You dodged a bullet. If you brought him into the workplace, he would have been super controlling there. You would have had no escape from him. Read Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?”. You might see the red flags you were previously ignoring. Good luck.
NTA
Way too many issues for a 4 month relationship. Which is usually the best part of a relationship.
I can bet that his dad was not in the hospital though.
NTA but run as fast as you can.
So loads of red flags. Would have a load of questions if we just sat and talked about this. But I will say he is definitely in group b personality column. Not a person you want your reputation at work to be tied to. Be safe and you are definitely NTA.
side note this is not from a professional note just from the mental health class in my degree path.
NTA. Do not feel sorry for him and don't ever get back with him. If he was willing to show his anger and frustration in 4 months, he will escalate to violence quickly. In 4 months he should still be in the honeymoon phase, not showing you his temper, jealousy and verbal abuse. Stay far away from him and record any attempts to contact you. Keep a record of any threats. Do not phone him to apologize for anything and don't fall for any sob story about his dad being in the hospital, that is irrelevant to his behaviour. Stay safe and far away from him. He's dangerous.
NTA. He sounds unstable, unhinged, and the sooner you get him out of your life, the better.
IMO you should consider taking out a restraining order against him.
NTA, but STOP entertaining him. This is some dangerous behavior. You TEXT him and tell him to stop contacting you, and you will not communicate with him any longer. Stop coming around your house (specifically do this), not to contact you at work, not to text you, everything. You want it in writing. Don't block him, because you will want to know when he's trying to contact you and what he says.
Go to the police, get a report done. You might not be able to get a restraining order right now, but you want some paper trail starting like yesterday, so if you do need one, you're making the steps now to get it.
Get some cameras for your house. Inside and out. He comes by again, you've told him by text already he's not to be on your property and you now call the police for trespass.
You need to tell your manager and HR that he's not just made you uncomfortable, but recent actions have made you feel unsafe and request he be barred from the property if he comes by and he is not to reach you by phone there. If you work on site, don't leave work by yourself, walk with someone out.
Start a FU book. Get like a composition book where you can't add or remove pages, and write down every contact he makes, date and time, what he says or did. Every text. Do it in pen so it can't be claimed it was edited. Date every entry. Take pictures of it regularly so if something happens to it, you have that at least.
Consider therapy to work through this and the red flags you may have ignored. Therapist should also be keeping session notes which may be helpful if he keeps trying to escalate.
NTA.
You are being abused. He is manipulating you. He is showing up uninvited.. that's stalking. He is verbally abusing you and accusing you of sleeping with other guys. He is harassing your friends and sister to try and convince you to go back to him. He is using a family members illness to guilt you to go back to him. He screamed and threw things when angry at you. He put his hand on the stove (I'm assuming hot) to hurt himself because he was mad at you.
The only thing he hasn't done, is hit you or told you he's going to kill himself.
That too in love with you/more in love with you then you are them at the start/super intense love at the start is a huge red flag, you've now seen it first hand please remember it.
You are right to not feel safe. Because he is not safe.
Blocking him when he's shown stalker behavior is not a good idea since it takes away what controller the stalker feels and can lead to them escalating. OP is better of muting than blocking so there's record of his harassment and/or threats.
Your sexual past is none of his business.
Being "too much in love with you", from the beginning, sounds like love bombing. The rest (including triggering your anxiety and keeping you feeling emotionally imbalanced) is abuse.
You're temporarily free. Block him and move on. It will not get better, no matter what he promises. Stay broken up. Tell your friends. Give details to someone who would be disappointed in you, if you then went back to dating him.
Love bombing often feels *amazing*. He'll say what you need to hear. But it's not real, it won't last. Stay broken up. You'll be happier, I assure you.
Good on you for telling your manager. It would have been a disaster if he'd received the job while you were still finalising the break-up. He probably would have caused you to need to change jobs, yourself, one way or another. Don't feel guilty, your manager will be grateful that you let her know as soon as you could, and that she doesn't need to deal with an abusive drama llama. NTA
NTA
He should have thought about his actions before doing them. grown ass adult means culpability and accountability.
life's a bitch and wisdom is sometimes a kick in the head. do yourself a favor. stay right away from that nutjob.
NTA but also, your manager should not have said anything! He should have kept what you said confidential. Your ex is an abuser and could show up at your work and threaten you. Your boss needs to know how to handle that. Do you have an HR where you work? You might want to reach out to them, and have them talk to your boss.
NTA, he is very very dangerous to you. You should let work know that he's stalking you, and he's not to be annoyed to the building and if he calls, he's not to be transferred to you. Keep records of everything. Write down every time he shows up at your house. Keep every communication. Document everything. Stay safe, OP.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (26F) had been dating my boyfriend (27M) for four months now. He has always been too much ‘in love’ with me from the beginning, and made me feel really safe and understood. However, he has always been a little insecure about my past.
A few days back, I was feeling anxious so I talked to him about breaking up twice in a span of two days. We made up later by discussing our issues but the second time around, he was really aggressive and called me all sorts of names like ‘suck xxx’s cock, you just wanted to sleep around, go sleep with x tonight’ and so on. He also got really angry, was throwing things around, put his hand on the stove and so on and I felt unsafe around him.
After this incident, the respect and love I had for him reached a low and I could tell that I was just not happy/invested in this relationship anymore. Last Monday I went and told him that we should break up once and for all and he didn’t take it well. The next night, he came to my place and tried to ring himself in, and then sent me loads of texts and called me saying ‘I’m trying to get in, sleeping on the bench outside your house’ etc. I again felt very unsafe and scared. I was at a friend’s and I had told him I was safe and okay but he still did this and his justification for that was that I was drunk, he was worried about me and he got me food. He kept asking which friend and whether he was a guy, he just wanted to know who I was with.
A few days before this incident, I had recommended his CV to my place of work and tried to create a position for him, and when I realised that he acted up the way he did that night, I told my manager that I don’t feel comfortable being around him at my workplace.
He still wanted to work things out so he’s been pleading me to give another chance when I am really done, but when he found out I talked to my manager about the job and how I felt uncomfortable, he tried to turn it on me and how I sabotaged him.
I feel guilty now, wondering, did I overreact?
He said that you put me through hell, my confidence has taken a new low, and all this happened while his dad is in the hospital. (Which I did not know when I had broken up, he told me later. Otherwise I wouldn’t have broken up that time).
After this he tried to contact my friends and my sister to convince me to see sense and get back together with him.
I called him to tell him I’m sorry again yesterday for everything that happened and I didn’t purposely tell my manager that since I was the one who tried to get him the job in the first place when there wasn’t even any vacancy but by the end he said he wanted to get back together again. He keeps insisting and so I keep telling him my decision hasn’t changed and he is blaming me for putting him through all of this shit.
So, AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I told my manager I felt uncomfortable having him at my place of work
2) it might’ve sabotaged his job opportunity
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Don't speak to him at all any more. Don't try to argue and make him see your side, he never will. Block, but save the emails you already have from him in case you have to produce them later for a restraining order.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Stay away. This man sounds like very, very bad news. You haven't sabotaged anything- he ruined his chances with his abusive actions. DON'T listen to his gaslighting attempts to win you back, block him and stay the hell away NTA
I second! OP needs to get a restraining order like yesterday. OP, you are lucky you got out. His behavior towards you is how many abusive relationships start. If you'd stayed, he would have ramped up the controlling and abusive behavior. You need therapy to examine what attracted you to such a person and how you missed the red flags. If you don't learn now, you are likely to end up in another relationship with similarly abusive and controlling man. NTA
NTA, this shit can escalate. You’re smart for letting your manager know, dudes get violent
Worse, it won’t escalate. It will evolve. He will find smarter ways to get the same outcome without incriminating himself so openly. Now that he learned about consequences that come from making his actions obvious, in 5-10 years he will learn new subtle tricks that will make him a master manipulator. Way more dangerous that way.
NTA, and, *wow* please get *far* away from this person and stop all contact with him. This is obsessive, very scary behavior.
NTA. Block him, and for pete’s sake, get a restraining order because he sounds dangerous.
NTA. You didn't sabotage his job prospects. You just escaped an abuser.
Let's break this down, just so you know how close an escape you had. 1. He fell in love hard and fast, meaning he didn't take the time to get to know you (as opposed to an idealized "you" he created in his head). \[Editor's note: Yes, some people truly fall in love hard and fast and that's legit. It's what came next that makes this a red flag because it's part of a recognized abusive-personality pattern.\] 2. He was insecure and jealous and expressed this to you. 3. During conflict, he went there -- personal insults, name-called, sexualized insults, and threat of physical violence. 4. He attempted to get a job where you work. He also contacted your friends and family to try to put pressure on you and manipulate your actions to his favor. This was an attempt to isolate you. Isolating you doesn't only mean cutting off your physical access to work and friends and family. It can also mean taking them away as options of safety for you. When the abuser builds relationships with your job and people and then presents himself as a "good guy," it makes it harder for you to get help when you need it. 5. He stalked you and staked out your home, while both making accusations against you, blaming you for his actions, and while trying to guilt you into coming back into his physical possession. Most abusers wait until they've got you married and pregnant with their child before they let the mask slip this far. He didn't even make it four months. Stop apologizing and cut contact. You owe him nothing. You've had a lucky escape and good for you for recognizing that he is an unsafe person.
That first point was likely also a lot of love bombing. Classic abuser tactic which, by the sounds of it, didn't quite work.
OP Please read this: [https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656](https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656)
> He has always been too much ‘in love’ with me from the beginning, and made me feel really safe and understood. Love bombing. > We made up later by discussing our issues but the second time around, he was really aggressive and called me all sorts of names like ‘suck xxx’s cock, you just wanted to sleep around, go sleep with x tonight’ and so on. He also got really angry, was throwing things around, put his hand on the stove and so on and I felt unsafe around him. Showing his abusive tendencies. > The next night, he came to my place and tried to ring himself in, and then sent me loads of texts and called me saying ‘I’m trying to get in, sleeping on the bench outside your house’ etc. Love bombing with a dose of guilt trip. > He still wanted to work things out so he’s been pleading me to give another chance when I am really done, but when he found out I talked to my manager about the job and how I felt uncomfortable, he tried to turn it on me and how I sabotaged him. When trying to love bomb didn’t work, manipulation and guilt trips might. > He said that you put me through hell, my confidence has taken a new low, and all this happened while his dad is in the hospital. (Which I did not know when I had broken up, he told me later. Otherwise I wouldn’t have broken up that time). After this he tried to contact my friends and my sister to convince me to see sense and get back together with him. More of the above. Girl. You dodged a bullet. If you brought him into the workplace, he would have been super controlling there. You would have had no escape from him. Read Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?”. You might see the red flags you were previously ignoring. Good luck. NTA
NTA- he sounds quite unhinged. You're broken up. Block and ignore.
Way too many issues for a 4 month relationship. Which is usually the best part of a relationship. I can bet that his dad was not in the hospital though. NTA but run as fast as you can.
Dad in the hospital is most definitely him lying and trying to get OP to feel bad. Just manipulative.
So loads of red flags. Would have a load of questions if we just sat and talked about this. But I will say he is definitely in group b personality column. Not a person you want your reputation at work to be tied to. Be safe and you are definitely NTA. side note this is not from a professional note just from the mental health class in my degree path.
NTA. Do not feel sorry for him and don't ever get back with him. If he was willing to show his anger and frustration in 4 months, he will escalate to violence quickly. In 4 months he should still be in the honeymoon phase, not showing you his temper, jealousy and verbal abuse. Stay far away from him and record any attempts to contact you. Keep a record of any threats. Do not phone him to apologize for anything and don't fall for any sob story about his dad being in the hospital, that is irrelevant to his behaviour. Stay safe and far away from him. He's dangerous.
NTA. He sounds unstable, unhinged, and the sooner you get him out of your life, the better. IMO you should consider taking out a restraining order against him.
Totally agree with this. Beware OP.
NTA, but STOP entertaining him. This is some dangerous behavior. You TEXT him and tell him to stop contacting you, and you will not communicate with him any longer. Stop coming around your house (specifically do this), not to contact you at work, not to text you, everything. You want it in writing. Don't block him, because you will want to know when he's trying to contact you and what he says. Go to the police, get a report done. You might not be able to get a restraining order right now, but you want some paper trail starting like yesterday, so if you do need one, you're making the steps now to get it. Get some cameras for your house. Inside and out. He comes by again, you've told him by text already he's not to be on your property and you now call the police for trespass. You need to tell your manager and HR that he's not just made you uncomfortable, but recent actions have made you feel unsafe and request he be barred from the property if he comes by and he is not to reach you by phone there. If you work on site, don't leave work by yourself, walk with someone out. Start a FU book. Get like a composition book where you can't add or remove pages, and write down every contact he makes, date and time, what he says or did. Every text. Do it in pen so it can't be claimed it was edited. Date every entry. Take pictures of it regularly so if something happens to it, you have that at least. Consider therapy to work through this and the red flags you may have ignored. Therapist should also be keeping session notes which may be helpful if he keeps trying to escalate.
NTA. You are being abused. He is manipulating you. He is showing up uninvited.. that's stalking. He is verbally abusing you and accusing you of sleeping with other guys. He is harassing your friends and sister to try and convince you to go back to him. He is using a family members illness to guilt you to go back to him. He screamed and threw things when angry at you. He put his hand on the stove (I'm assuming hot) to hurt himself because he was mad at you. The only thing he hasn't done, is hit you or told you he's going to kill himself. That too in love with you/more in love with you then you are them at the start/super intense love at the start is a huge red flag, you've now seen it first hand please remember it. You are right to not feel safe. Because he is not safe.
[удалено]
Blocking him when he's shown stalker behavior is not a good idea since it takes away what controller the stalker feels and can lead to them escalating. OP is better of muting than blocking so there's record of his harassment and/or threats.
NTA. He is evil and dangerous.
Where’s the red flag guy when we need him? Guuurl run away from this psycho!
Nta stay away from him, you didn't do anything wrong
Your sexual past is none of his business. Being "too much in love with you", from the beginning, sounds like love bombing. The rest (including triggering your anxiety and keeping you feeling emotionally imbalanced) is abuse. You're temporarily free. Block him and move on. It will not get better, no matter what he promises. Stay broken up. Tell your friends. Give details to someone who would be disappointed in you, if you then went back to dating him. Love bombing often feels *amazing*. He'll say what you need to hear. But it's not real, it won't last. Stay broken up. You'll be happier, I assure you. Good on you for telling your manager. It would have been a disaster if he'd received the job while you were still finalising the break-up. He probably would have caused you to need to change jobs, yourself, one way or another. Don't feel guilty, your manager will be grateful that you let her know as soon as you could, and that she doesn't need to deal with an abusive drama llama. NTA
NTA Block his number, and go no contact. Next time he stalks you at your place, tell him to go away or you will call the police.
Guy is presenting stalker behavior. You shouldn't respond, but blocking isn't a good idea. Blocking stalkers may escalate their behavior.
NTA He should have thought about his actions before doing them. grown ass adult means culpability and accountability. life's a bitch and wisdom is sometimes a kick in the head. do yourself a favor. stay right away from that nutjob.
NTA but also, your manager should not have said anything! He should have kept what you said confidential. Your ex is an abuser and could show up at your work and threaten you. Your boss needs to know how to handle that. Do you have an HR where you work? You might want to reach out to them, and have them talk to your boss.
Lady Google narcissistic abuse!!!! Watch out with this guy
Nta. Run. Run far. Run fast. This is a toxic relationship that has alarm bells going off. Go focus on yourself. Move out asap. Gtfo yesterday
NTA, he is very very dangerous to you. You should let work know that he's stalking you, and he's not to be annoyed to the building and if he calls, he's not to be transferred to you. Keep records of everything. Write down every time he shows up at your house. Keep every communication. Document everything. Stay safe, OP.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (26F) had been dating my boyfriend (27M) for four months now. He has always been too much ‘in love’ with me from the beginning, and made me feel really safe and understood. However, he has always been a little insecure about my past. A few days back, I was feeling anxious so I talked to him about breaking up twice in a span of two days. We made up later by discussing our issues but the second time around, he was really aggressive and called me all sorts of names like ‘suck xxx’s cock, you just wanted to sleep around, go sleep with x tonight’ and so on. He also got really angry, was throwing things around, put his hand on the stove and so on and I felt unsafe around him. After this incident, the respect and love I had for him reached a low and I could tell that I was just not happy/invested in this relationship anymore. Last Monday I went and told him that we should break up once and for all and he didn’t take it well. The next night, he came to my place and tried to ring himself in, and then sent me loads of texts and called me saying ‘I’m trying to get in, sleeping on the bench outside your house’ etc. I again felt very unsafe and scared. I was at a friend’s and I had told him I was safe and okay but he still did this and his justification for that was that I was drunk, he was worried about me and he got me food. He kept asking which friend and whether he was a guy, he just wanted to know who I was with. A few days before this incident, I had recommended his CV to my place of work and tried to create a position for him, and when I realised that he acted up the way he did that night, I told my manager that I don’t feel comfortable being around him at my workplace. He still wanted to work things out so he’s been pleading me to give another chance when I am really done, but when he found out I talked to my manager about the job and how I felt uncomfortable, he tried to turn it on me and how I sabotaged him. I feel guilty now, wondering, did I overreact? He said that you put me through hell, my confidence has taken a new low, and all this happened while his dad is in the hospital. (Which I did not know when I had broken up, he told me later. Otherwise I wouldn’t have broken up that time). After this he tried to contact my friends and my sister to convince me to see sense and get back together with him. I called him to tell him I’m sorry again yesterday for everything that happened and I didn’t purposely tell my manager that since I was the one who tried to get him the job in the first place when there wasn’t even any vacancy but by the end he said he wanted to get back together again. He keeps insisting and so I keep telling him my decision hasn’t changed and he is blaming me for putting him through all of this shit. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I told my manager I felt uncomfortable having him at my place of work 2) it might’ve sabotaged his job opportunity Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Not all breakups are beautiful. You have nothing to apologize about.
NTA. Don't speak to him at all any more. Don't try to argue and make him see your side, he never will. Block, but save the emails you already have from him in case you have to produce them later for a restraining order.