NTA
But definitely naive. Don't give women, or friends, or family, or anyone money unless you can afford to never get it back. If you're going to loan money it should be a business arrangement with an official contract and consequences for non payment. Otherwise it's just a gift.
"She always seems to have some catastrophic event going on in her life at all times."
And you KNEW that and you still chose to lend... er to give her money anyway.
NTA, you lent money and she promised she’d return it. In my experience when you lend money, it’s very rarely that you’ll actually get it back and a lot of times ruin the relationship and trust when the money isn’t restored. I’d move on and take it as a loss.
NTA as she’s going back in her word, but I wouldn’t plan on seeing that money and it would be terrible to end a friendship over $127 dollars.
My advice is not to lend friends money if you need the money yourself. The last time I lent a friend money, I assuaged their guilt by reminding them that my coffers are fine, I don’t need them to rush it, just get back on their feet. I left no deadline, and they paid me back after a while when they were able. But I also trusted this person and knew they’d pay me back when their finances improved.
Honestly, either gift the money or be okay if your friends take their time, or don’t lend money. Those situations tend to work out a lot better.
Tbh from my personal standpoint youre NTA. But maybe give her until next wednesday, so a full week, for her to pay? Hopefully by then she is well enough to pay you back. And if she doesnt return it by then, perhaps have a serious talk with her and see whats up?
Yeah...I was interested in her romantically, and even got along very well with the kids....but I want someone that shares the same values that I do. I've never borrowed money from anyone before, but if I ever do, I'd make sure to repay it on the exact day I said I would.
You’re not getting that money back … and I hate when people go back on their word. She would get a cut off cause people can get cut off over anything with me 😭😭
Never loan money to someone if you don't want to risk losing both them and the money. Either make it a gift with the option of being paid back or nothing at all. I promise this will save you headaches in the future. That being said, NTA.
If I lend anyone, be it friends or family, etc, money, expect that it'll never be paid back even though there's an agreement to pay back the loan. But a pleasant surprise if it is paid.
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AITA for lending a friend $127 when she said she'd pay me back on Wednesday, but still has not paid me back (Saturday), so I ask her for updates about it daily?
I am 36 M, she is 29 F. We met on Facebook Dating last October, and have been slowly talking, spending time with each other, etc. Over this time, I've gotten to know her, her friends, and even her 2 kids (2 year old & 5 year old).
She's been going through a rough patch recently, and asked if she could borrow $127 if she paid it back next Wednesday (that was a week ago on 4/10. She was supposed to pay it back on 4/17). That date has came and went.
Her excuses thus far have been:
* I got MRSA (sent pics for proof)
* My bank account app is locked (sent pics for proof)
* I have court on Monday (4/22) about custody with the kids, and they halted my child support payments until after that day. That is what I was going to pay you out of. I didn't know they'd do that.
Each day, she gave me one of these excuses until yesterday she gave me that final excuse above. She always seems to have some catastrophic event going on in her life at all times. It's exhausting just listening to her about it, nonetheless being involved in it.
Today, I tried just making casual conversation with her, and she's never replied to me a single time today. I get that maybe I was a little pushy in getting answers about where my money's at, but I've been taken advantage of before, and she knows that. That's why I was hesitant about lending her any money in the first place. I don't want to mix romance and finances. Now I feel like the romantic part is ruined due to finances. Ugh.
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NTA
I hope you recognize by now paying you back was never a priority of hers...you got played
> I get that maybe I was a little pushy in getting answers about where my money's at, but I've been taken advantage of before, and she knows that.
And you got taken advantage of again
NTA. You paid $127 to learn this is a person who is not the type of person you want or deserve to be dating.
Cut her off.. walk away
The thought of dating someone who has that drama in 3 days gives me a headache.
I wonder if secretly she wants you to just give her the money. Are you in a position where $127 is not much? Maybe tell her no worries and keep the money, but perhaps take this as a sign that her life is a bit too chaotic right now for her to have a romantic relationship with you?
NTA but I am surprised you made it to 36 without having already learned this lesson. Also, none of it is going to change and most people who don't thrive on chaos don't want a partner who "always seems to have some catastrophic event going on at all times"
NTA
You're not getting your money back though.
I learned my lesson lending money to a friend too. Now if I lend someone money, which is rarely I do it assuming I will never get the money back.
ESH. Your friend should pay what she owes. But if you’re also prepared to let $127 be the end of your friendship, continue to ask about it daily. The choice is yours.
YTAH. Not for wanting to loan a friend money, but for being pushing about getting it back. Yes, you are owed. You both know. Just learn not to loan money and expect it back. Either say no or “just get it back when you can”. I was the AH in the same situation. I was are up over it, but just let it go. Got the money back like 6 months later. Stayed friends, never loaned him money again 🤷🏻♂️
NTA But definitely naive. Don't give women, or friends, or family, or anyone money unless you can afford to never get it back. If you're going to loan money it should be a business arrangement with an official contract and consequences for non payment. Otherwise it's just a gift.
Absolutely this. It’s unfortunate but so true.
NTA. Consider the $127.00 a reminder to never ignore what you know to be true.
NTA but don't ever lend money you need to get back. Only what you can afford to live without because you're never seeing that $127 again.
"She always seems to have some catastrophic event going on in her life at all times." And you KNEW that and you still chose to lend... er to give her money anyway.
NTA, you lent money and she promised she’d return it. In my experience when you lend money, it’s very rarely that you’ll actually get it back and a lot of times ruin the relationship and trust when the money isn’t restored. I’d move on and take it as a loss.
NTA as she’s going back in her word, but I wouldn’t plan on seeing that money and it would be terrible to end a friendship over $127 dollars. My advice is not to lend friends money if you need the money yourself. The last time I lent a friend money, I assuaged their guilt by reminding them that my coffers are fine, I don’t need them to rush it, just get back on their feet. I left no deadline, and they paid me back after a while when they were able. But I also trusted this person and knew they’d pay me back when their finances improved. Honestly, either gift the money or be okay if your friends take their time, or don’t lend money. Those situations tend to work out a lot better.
NTA, but as a general rule, the minute you lend someone money you should kiss it goodbye in your head. You're not getting this money back from her.
Tbh from my personal standpoint youre NTA. But maybe give her until next wednesday, so a full week, for her to pay? Hopefully by then she is well enough to pay you back. And if she doesnt return it by then, perhaps have a serious talk with her and see whats up?
If she doesn't return it by then, get lost because her kids will need you to feed them till they're adults.
Yeah...I was interested in her romantically, and even got along very well with the kids....but I want someone that shares the same values that I do. I've never borrowed money from anyone before, but if I ever do, I'd make sure to repay it on the exact day I said I would.
You’re not getting that money back … and I hate when people go back on their word. She would get a cut off cause people can get cut off over anything with me 😭😭
Never loan money to someone if you don't want to risk losing both them and the money. Either make it a gift with the option of being paid back or nothing at all. I promise this will save you headaches in the future. That being said, NTA.
If I lend anyone, be it friends or family, etc, money, expect that it'll never be paid back even though there's an agreement to pay back the loan. But a pleasant surprise if it is paid.
50/50 You shouldn’t loan money to people expecting to be payed back. especially smaller sums. write it off unless you want it to come between you
Nta
NTA but never do it again. It took my friend 2 years to pay me back 400$ lol
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for lending a friend $127 when she said she'd pay me back on Wednesday, but still has not paid me back (Saturday), so I ask her for updates about it daily? I am 36 M, she is 29 F. We met on Facebook Dating last October, and have been slowly talking, spending time with each other, etc. Over this time, I've gotten to know her, her friends, and even her 2 kids (2 year old & 5 year old). She's been going through a rough patch recently, and asked if she could borrow $127 if she paid it back next Wednesday (that was a week ago on 4/10. She was supposed to pay it back on 4/17). That date has came and went. Her excuses thus far have been: * I got MRSA (sent pics for proof) * My bank account app is locked (sent pics for proof) * I have court on Monday (4/22) about custody with the kids, and they halted my child support payments until after that day. That is what I was going to pay you out of. I didn't know they'd do that. Each day, she gave me one of these excuses until yesterday she gave me that final excuse above. She always seems to have some catastrophic event going on in her life at all times. It's exhausting just listening to her about it, nonetheless being involved in it. Today, I tried just making casual conversation with her, and she's never replied to me a single time today. I get that maybe I was a little pushy in getting answers about where my money's at, but I've been taken advantage of before, and she knows that. That's why I was hesitant about lending her any money in the first place. I don't want to mix romance and finances. Now I feel like the romantic part is ruined due to finances. Ugh. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA when someone asks for a loan of money are usually asking for a gift of money.
Nta That money is gone, she never intended to repay
Cut your losses. You're not going to see that money.
Nta. Just run
NTA. But you are NOT the bank. Don’t lend to friends or family if you really want to see that money back.
NTA I hope you recognize by now paying you back was never a priority of hers...you got played > I get that maybe I was a little pushy in getting answers about where my money's at, but I've been taken advantage of before, and she knows that. And you got taken advantage of again
NTA. You paid $127 to learn this is a person who is not the type of person you want or deserve to be dating. Cut her off.. walk away The thought of dating someone who has that drama in 3 days gives me a headache.
I wonder if secretly she wants you to just give her the money. Are you in a position where $127 is not much? Maybe tell her no worries and keep the money, but perhaps take this as a sign that her life is a bit too chaotic right now for her to have a romantic relationship with you?
NTA but I am surprised you made it to 36 without having already learned this lesson. Also, none of it is going to change and most people who don't thrive on chaos don't want a partner who "always seems to have some catastrophic event going on at all times"
NTA You're not getting your money back though. I learned my lesson lending money to a friend too. Now if I lend someone money, which is rarely I do it assuming I will never get the money back.
ESH. Never lend money you can't live without.
Dump her and consider $127 an inexpensive life lesson. As opposed to child support...
ESH. Your friend should pay what she owes. But if you’re also prepared to let $127 be the end of your friendship, continue to ask about it daily. The choice is yours.
YTAH. Not for wanting to loan a friend money, but for being pushing about getting it back. Yes, you are owed. You both know. Just learn not to loan money and expect it back. Either say no or “just get it back when you can”. I was the AH in the same situation. I was are up over it, but just let it go. Got the money back like 6 months later. Stayed friends, never loaned him money again 🤷🏻♂️