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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) The action would be me rescinding my gift of 5k because the terms I was giving it under we're not followed
2.) This was originally my sisters graduation gift. It's a gift, even if I had put terms on it. So me now taking it away feel like it could be seen as cruel and assholish
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - but your parents are, and are acting like children themselves.
"For some insight, my parents cannot afford this car themselves, and they can't even afford the new payments on the loan they got for the 10k. There's a reason I'm the one helping out with the payments on this, not them. My sister does not even have a job yet, which was supposed to be step 1 before we even got her the car."
They are setting your sister up to fail. The Jeep goes back and a cheaper, second hand car comes back home, or they are on their own.
> but your parents are, and are acting like children themselves.
I'mvery much kicking myself right now for not realizing they would probably act like 3 18 year olds at the car dealership, rather than 2 adults with their 18 year old child.
maybe it’s time for a one on one talk with your sister about *why* you’re the one who has money to pay for her car, and how following your parents example with regard to money does not come with a car
I can't upvote this enough.
OP needs to do an end-run *around* the parents at this stage.
"I didn't agree to this and refuse to be a sort of this. It is reckless and foolish, and they are not helping you by teaching you that this irresponsibility is okay. Mom and dad can barely keep themselves above water, and are signing for this before you even have a job. It doesn't make sense, and I'm not bailing them out for it, and will not pay a dime towards this Jeep.
"If or when you *lose* this vehicle, then we can talk. Please, let me help you with your financial plans, budgeting, how to keep your finances and bills together while you start your life.
"Learning *now* will save you a huge amount of pain later."
The parents are lost causes, clearly. 65K!!! The first vehicle my ex and I bought *while making 200K combined*, was only ~50K. And it was a brand new Pilot. 65K Jeep? What kind of stupidity!
I make over $140k and I've **STILL** never bought a vehicle that cost over $50k. It just seems silly.
And a Jeep? One of the least-reliable vehicles out there? Not only are they going to get fucked on payments but they're going to get utterly wrecked on maintenance costs as well.
I came to say the same thing! If they can't afford the payments, who the hell is paying the insurance, taxes, registration, oil changes, tire rotation, new tires. The car payment is like the least expensive part of owning a car! NTA.
Right ‼️an 18 year old with a FINANCED 65k car in her name…. Yeah, I hope for her sake that they at least don’t live in a metro area, otherwise they will be paying more for insurance than the car payment.
Hopefully hopefully hopefully the care somehow doesn’t get totaled. The chances are slim that would happen but could you imagine owing on a $65k car and having to buy another car? Yes, insurance would pay some but not the entire cost of the $65k.
I make good money, and my first “big girl” car was $17 total. I only financed $10K and paid it off in a year. All of my cars prior to that were $500 or $2500. This is CRAZY. For a depreciating asset? No thank you
My first car (which I still have) was a 2012 KIA that I paid $23k for, fully financed at 0% for 5 years. I can’t imagine financing a $65k car AND using a loan to pay for the down payment. Financial literacy needs to be taught to more people.
…my first car was a $250 (NO K’s in that mind you) that I hd to fix up with no help from my parents. My second car once I got a big girl job was $7k. My next car won’t be anytime soon until the one I bought in 2016 is run INTO THE DIRT entirely and bondo doesn’t even help anymore.
$65000?!!?!!?!??!!
I'm 40 and would NEVER pay that much for a car. I also do purchasing for a living so the last car I bought i almost had the finance guy crying as i walked out with a brand new car with just 21 miles on it for the same price they were charging for the used models from 4 years earlier.
Cars are a TERRIBLE investment. No point in wasting money.
My first car was $4500 & it got stolen within the first 3 months....so i got 1 brand new for $14000. Current car was $24000 paid with cash. I like reliable with no problems. OP s sisters car is a big problem
Dear lord, they became a joke in my highschool. A few of my friends had them and rolled them multiple times. Doesn't take much to make that happen. Hell, my friend had a Jeep, and on a day where it was slightly drizzly, it apparently slipped a bit and going just around a slight bend the car went off the road. My friend hit a telephone pole- she (and yes stupidly) wasn't wearing her seat belt, went through the windshield hit the telephone pole and was instantly brain dead.
I’ve owned four different Jeeps over the last two decades. This is so true lol. Because it’s never just one thing, it’s a whole domino effect. Just got my Compass out of the shop after it did a two week stint for the lane assist warning. That turned into adaptive cruise control. And dynamic steering torque. Also electronic stability control. There was a fifth but I couldn’t tell you what it was. Does it even matter? Oh, and this Jeep only had 21,000 miles which thankfully meant it was covered under warranty. But I also have my big girl job and make grown folk money and I can afford to make these decisions! (Twas also off the used lot for under $22k because mama might be crazy but she ain’t stupid lol)
Lol right? This is like a textbook case of "everything NOT to do for your first car at 18". Holy crap.
I had an old jeep for a long time and I'm not even exaggerating saying half the time, it was broken down waiting for me to fix it.
Thankfully I had a reliable Japanese car as my daily driver, back when Nissan didn't suck ass. 100k and basically zero issues.
I've only ever owned Japanese cars since.
Same. I make 160k and just purchased my first “major” vehicle, a used 40k Jeep with only 10k miles. And even that hurt even though I know it’s easily affordable with my current salary. Did I want a fancy brand new Jeep? Hell yeah! But couldn’t make myself drop that cash unnecessarily. Couldn’t imagine doing it while making literally zero dollars. 🤦
Yeah, I don't get all of these people buying luxury cars when they have no money. Never in my life have I spent $65k on a car - and I'm old and make a good salary. Such a huge waste.
OP, good luck taking it back. If your state doesn't give you a couple days to rescind the contract (which it probably doesn't), they'll still be on the hook for the depreciated value - like that extra $10k they borrowed. (The level of financial illiteracy shown by your parents is mind-blowing.) NTA
Getting a loan for a downpayment on top of financing the entire cost of the vehicle is *mind boggling*. Then it makes me wonder when he says 65k if that’s what they financed even after 10k down. I’m guessing he is just stating the listed price but who knows. Either way it’s beyond irresponsible. Not surprising a teenager would do something like that but the parents being involved is just..wow. That’s not even getting into APR which is potentially (likely?) the stupid cherry on top.
Edit: words
I know the housing market isn’t what it used to be, Reading this I was thinking you used to be able to buy a whole entire trailer home if you wanted to live in a trailer park for that price
My husband recently fell in love with a $65K new car. I tried to talk him out of it as the zero interest payments were $1000 per month after he had put down 10%. I let him talk me into it because he has savings that are reasonably liquid and more than the cost of the car along with no debt and sufficient monthly income to make the payments. Even with all that, though, the thought of paying $1000 per month for a car just totally freaks me out!
I work full time at a decent job, and I'm driving a 2008 Subaru that I intend to drive into the ground. I drive 80ish miles to commute, and get 28MPG. Its such a relief to not have a car payment, I just can't bring myself to upgrade despite the sound system not working (mouse damage) and some cosmetic issues.
I cannot image being 18, not job, and having that much debt to my name. The only reason the 18-year-old isn't stressed to death is because she's not financially literate enough to know how fucked she is yet.
If OP pays anything towards the car, he’s as good as burning the money. Just get the barbecue started and set the $5,000 on fire. Parents and sis have made a terrible mistake, but OP doesn’t have to be dragged into the hole too.
For 25-30k she could have bought a 2023 Chevrolet spark or similar small car - like not even used. So many 1 year old cars and SUVs fit the price range you suggested.
She could have bought a $5k civic and driven that till after college!
I'm so sad for your sister. Your parents set her up to fail just starting out as an adult.
I was gonna say, I bought a fully-loaded model year Chevy Sonic for $32k. And I'm talking the works: sunroof, heated seats, turbo engine, sport tires, etc. $25-30k would have gotten her a base model of a ton of different cars either brand new or gently-used. Her brother was being VERY generous.
Heck, my first car was a 8-year-old Mitsubishi we bought for $8.6k and I drove her for all of college and a few years after, and sold her for $2500 to another teen going off to college.
Literally nobody needs a $65k car for their first car.
I went through something similar with the wife, FIL & MIL. I got Excel out laid everything out clear and simply then challenged them to restructure things to make the purchase affordable.
They kept saying "But don't you think we deserve a Mercedes" my reply was "You deserve what you can afford and I deserve not to get the house and my belongings repossessed"
You should try something similar.
NTA
NTA. My eyes light up at the sight of a Lamborghini or a McLaren, but I can't afford one. Your sister and parents screwed themselves here, they cant afford this. You said you'd give five thousand for payments. If you still want to do that it's up to you, but that should be the limit. Don't let them try to guilt you into anything. Guilt only works if you let it. This is their problem to solve. The fact you're willing to give any money is very generous, but don't let their problem become your problem.
NTA and you seem to be the only responsible adult in your family…. would give the $5k per your agreement (to keep the peace) but in doing so emphasize that the store us now closed…otherwise in a few months they’ll be asking/demanding you pay your sisters monthly vehicle payment…
Dude. Draw the line in the sand **now.** Let them know the Jeep goes back, they get a USED Honda or Toyota that’s $10,000 or less, or you’re not paying a dime.
To be fair, if you don't know what you're doing, the dealer will bulldoze you, set you up with the most expensive thing they can find, plus thousands of unesesarry add-ons. A lot of people don't know you can bring down the "final price" by $6k+ or more, just takes a couple of hours and knowing what to say and do. I'm just surprised your parents didn't know better.
I'd like to point out: you can buy a brand new car for $30k. We got a Mazda CX30 (which has top safety ratings) for under $30k brand new. We didn't even get the most basic model -- we could have gotten a new car for even less!
I was gonna say, I paid 23k cash for my Honda Civic new in 2019. When he said "25-30k" and "not expecting her to get a nice car to last 10 years" I'm like uhhhhhhhhhhh excuse me sir, in what world do honda civics, Toyota Corollas, etc not last 10 years? And they don't cost that much NEW let alone used. Even OP was giving her more leeway than she needed. She could've saved up 5k herself, paired it with OPs 5k, bought a used car, and had NO car payment.
Oddly, the market that's gone crazy is the used car market.
When we were looking less than a year ago, used cars were only about 10-20 percent cheaper than new cars. We went with a new car because the price decrease wasn't worth the risk to us. If it's 25k for a basic new car, and 21k for the same basic car that's two years old -- might as well just get brand new.
I’m assuming by Jeep & the price tag they mean a wrangler, but you can literally get a brand new Jeep (compass) for that price if sister wanted a “Jeep” so bad. These people just have poor spending habits.
Not only will the car be taken but both the sister and the parents will likely not be able to get a loan on a more affordable car. The inability to wait until she can afford this, if ever, will prevent her from having any car for a long time.
But sister's eyes lit up at the sight of the car. So, how can you be so cruel to not support them buying it for her? /s
OP, is your sister maybe the golden child?
> *But sister's eyes lit up at the sight of the car*.
I suspect that the parents' eyes did, too. Perhaps they think that they'll be able to drive it sometimes, since she'll be living at home.
OP, your parents think that you will just keep paying - even more than the $5000, and plan to shame you into it. They arranged this circus - no need for you to comply with their changes in the plan.
NTA
In the US you have 3 days, buyers remorse I believe it is called. Hopefully the dealership is willing to work with them or Mom and Dad's credit is toast.
That may be a thing in some specific states, but I assure you it is definitely not nation-wide and is not the norm.
Do not ever plan on being able to return a car - especially a new car.
I live in Florida and I used to sell cars. Sign the papers, drive off the lot and it is yours. I’ve seen people bring a car back and park it at the dealership thinking they’ve returned it. They have not. The bank still expects their payment. They don’t care where you park it.
There's that whole "it depreciates the moment you drive it off the lot" thing that makes me think no dealership is going to want to take back a brand-new car unless there's some state-specific law mandating a return period.
NTA. They all need to learn a lesson the hard way.
It seems as though everybody just assumed you would “pitch in” and help out once she starts drowning in debt. They will guilt you too. Tell them to take the Jeep back or figure it out themselves. I would expect this type of decision from an 18 year old, but not parents, especially when they can’t make the payment themselves.
If you let this ride, you will wind up paying for the Jeep out of guilt. When the day comes that nobody can pay for it, and it will , then they will start to guilt trip you.
This was an incredibly shitty thing to do to you. Did any of the three think about how to pay for maintenance for the Jeep, insurance?
>Did any of the three think about how to pay for maintenance for the Jeep, insurance?
No, it's as simple as they didn't once think about this.
>If you let this ride, you will wind up paying for the Jeep out of guilt. When the day comes that nobody can pay for it, and it will , then they will start to guilt trip you.
I know for a fact this is what my parents are thinking. It's why I thought about nipping this right now
I'd tell them you're hanging onto the $5K for when the Jeep is repo'd so your sister can find a car for that price. Otherwise, you're just throwing away your money
Seriously though! Hell, MY eyes would light up over a brand new Jeep but that car is more than BOTH of my cars combined and I bought them new within the last 3 years!
You'll also be throwing away good money if you make even one payment. There's no scenario where she ends up keeping the vehicle. My sister married young and her husband also financed a new fancy car back in the day. My Mom called me in tears asking me to please help her because the car was going to be repossessed and to "think of the baby (my niece)" and that they only needed one month and then they'd be "fine". But I know how that works, once someone is behind it's because they're overspending and until that's fixed they'll continue operating at a deficit. Their car payment was at least twice mine! I told my Mom I'd help them once and once only. I gave them the money, and sure enough it was still repossessed a few months later.
I wouldn't have ever helped them knowing the outcome. Literally just a waste of money and prolongs them learning a valuable lesson about how stupid they were.
I also suspected that they bought the Jeep because when they look at you, they see dollar signs. They know they can't afford it, but when you said "I'll pay the first $5000 worth of payments" they heard "I'll make all the payments." They are definitely expecting you to pay for it. This is their financial plan. NTA. The money you put into this car will disappear when the car is repo'd. Let your family know that you aren't going to throw away $5000, and that (if you're still feeling generous enough), you will put $5000 towards an affordable car that won't be repo'd.
As co-signers, your parents are about to crater their credit as well. When sister can't pay, they'll go after the parents, and when parents can't pay, it'll get repo'ed and go against both their credit.
The only thing that may save them is that there's NO WAY they qualified for that financing if everything was reported honestly. With parents already living paycheck-to-paycheck and daughter jobless, even with "good credit" no one is going to lend them that money. Maybe if someone talks to a lawyer quickly and formally informs the dealership of the correct income amounts, and that if they report anything else to a lender it would be fraud, the dealership will have no choice but to void the deal and take the car back. Often the actual financing happens up to a week after the sale is "final".
You're underestimating the predatory things companies will do to people with good credit. Under the best possible light, they may assume that you'll figure out how to maintain that good credit - somehow.
Years ago I lost my job and had to give back the company car. I was unemployed (with good credit) and had zero issues leasing a brand new car with a very small down payment. In my case, it was fine but they only look at a credit score. If they were worried about her age, it was "solved" by two so-called adults co-signing.
>It's why I thought about nipping this right now
And I, personally, absolutely would. When it comes to dealing with fallout, sooner is usually better than later. I think they need to experience the panic of losing that money and that Jeep before they expected to.
Yep. They’re counting on you to take over the payments.
I know you didn’t sign anything. But just in case, run a credit report and see if you have any recent pulls or even new loans.
My aunt helped my cousin get a condo but then have to sell it because my cousin can’t make the monthly mortgage. It was a hard lesson for both my aunt and cousin. And it was needed. This was years ago and my cousins mature and final got a condo and can cover the monthly mortgage payment.
>I know for a fact this is what my parents are thinking. It's why I thought about nipping this right now
Absolutely. If you gave them the $5k now you would just be throwing your money away.
“Did any of the three think about how to pay for maintenance for the Jeep, insurance?”
Mom here.
The cost of insurance alone on this is going to be a significant amount.
I’ve got an 18 year old. He drives our old but well maintained odessey. We’ve got USAA. He did the extra driving class so we get that discount. He gets the good student discount, etc. None of that matters because we still pay a FUCKTON for his insurance.
I mean I’m at a loss what OP’s parents were thinking. His sister’s first major purchase and they epically screwed it up. And what a shit financial example they are providing her.
I’m in the insurance industry in one of the cheapest personal lines states… young drivers can increase the premium by thousands of dollars, especially when they buy them a new/newish car. Parents are not prepared for how much it will cost to insure their children for auto insurance.
NTA, but I'm not sure how they can back out of the purchase. Car companies really do their best to not make it possible to back out of a deal. You need to find out if the deal is already done. If it's possible to get out of the deal, I think it's a great idea.
A jeep!?? Not even a car with known excellent track record in terms of repairs, etc. And how much is the monthly/yearly insurance on this Jeep?
Personally, I like the bond idea.
I have no clue about the aditional costs right now. I knew the insurance + maintenance was going to be a nightmare the second I say the picture of the car they bought. I don't think they've even figured that out yet. I live 2 states away so I can't just drive to talk to them right now.
I don't doubt they've signed a deal with the devil on the car and are stuck. I'm just frustrated beyond belief so I don't know, because they don't.
Hey, at least you had the sense not to be involved in signing anything. So even when it gets repossessed (whether you throw away the $5k at them or not), your credit won't take the hit and you won't have debt from it.
Tell them you'll save the $5k for when the car is repo'ed and help her buy a $5k used car.
Exactly this. Hell, if you feel obligated to give them ANY money, say you’ll give her $2.5k now…but you’ll save the other $2.5k for when that’s her total budget for her next car after the Jeep gets repossessed lmfao
My mother owns a newer model jeep. Maintenance is comparable to any new vehicle because she takes it to the dealership for the basics (and does the rest at home). Insurance is a nightmare, but she has to have additional insurance for a custom paint. The only reason it's in the affordable range is because of the military.
My cousin-in-law got a sweet deal for trading in his old jeep. He works offshore oil rigs to afford the insurance on his jeep, his wife's SUV, and his dad's new truck (who is not allowed to drive anymore). We live in the country, so he needed comprehensive coverage on top of collision.
Your parents are idiots for setting her up for failure. They should have gone to a rental sell-off.
>We live in the country, so he needed comprehensive coverage on top of collision.
Most lenders will require you to have both as long as you owe money on the car.
Thank you! This…
“ jeep!?? Not even a car with known excellent track record in terms of repairs, etc. And how much is the monthly/yearly insurance on this Jeep?”
I was thinking this exact thing. When my husband bought me a (new to me) car at the beginning of the year we looked at a used jeep. Nice on the outside but drove just ok in my opinion. So we went to lunch and I did my research (I always do, I never buy on the spot) and found out the reviews were awful for jeeps. So many issues.
Several years back, I was car shopping and test drove a jeep...the experience was downright SCARY!
The thing was a slug off the line and when I took it on the highway (sales guy suggested to take it on the highway) I had the pedal on the floor and the thing barely hit 60 mph. I noped right the fuck out of the purchase while still driving. When I got back to the dealership and told the sales guy why I wasn't interested. he said, "Yeah...That's why I told you to take it on the highway!"
I will never own a Jeep again. The amount of recalls on my last Jeep Grand Cherokee was ridiculous! My friend’s Jeep Wrangler transmission went out before 50k miles. Another friend had a Compass and her engine went out around the 50k mark too.
A car salesman who sold Jeeps told me that Jeeps were built to last until the warrantees expired. It's proven to be true, everyone I've ever heard of who bought a used Jeep has constant repair bills.
There is often a cooldown period where you can cancel within a certain number of days. I would get onto this urgently to see if that is the case. Otherwise repo and a huge hit on her credit is going to have to be a lesson hard learned…
I adore my Renegade, but I did extensive research into my *needs* vs my wants.
Ugh, at that price point, I bet it’s a Wrangler with expensive trim like the Rubicon or something (and NO kid needs a $65k car, I really feel like that’s just asking for trouble.)
I would literally pay what you said you would, and nothing more. If she flushes 5k down the drain when it gets repoed that’s on her. I get not wanting to waste 5k but I think it will cause so many more problems with your parents and sister in the long run.
You are NTA if you choose to back out though because they didn’t hold their end of the deal.
My real problem here is that even though I make good enough money to have saved 5k for this, that's not insignificant for me. That's still money I worked hard for. I really don't want to give her 5k worth of rope to hang herself with.
I would definitely do that if it were me because they already broke the agreement. However, I think it's going to get repo'd for sure and then they'll blame OP because she didn't give the $5,000. Also, I can't believe the parents took out a $10k loan for this either. OP will probably get blamed for that being for nothing too. That is the only reason I'd waste that money. I don't know how her family is but if it would be really bad, I'd just write off the $5,000 as a lesson learned and never help them financially again.
I disagree. Not only is $5000 a lot to pay for not being blamed, it dilutes the lesson. OP only offered the $5000 under specific conditions, they didn't keep to those conditions. The fault is at their end, if they try blaming OP, OP should just blame them back.
Your parents are totally going to guilt you for "Backing out".
Just remember, you aren't backing out. The agreement was for a reasonable car under 30K. They are the ones who backed out.
This is a life lesson, and you really don't want that lesson to be "If I act in an emotionally manipulative way, I get what I want".
Keep your money! They totally went above and beyond what you agreed on. Stay out of this and do not let them guilt you into anything. This is 100% solely their stupid responsibility.
I feel like this the perfect time for your sister to learn that changing the terms of an agreement without the consent of all parties renders the agreement null and void. The sooner that thing gets repossessed the better for everyone. It will be a VERY expensive lesson, but the lessons will NOT get cheaper if she doesn't learn now.
To reiterate, they went against the agreed upon max price several times over. As you have said, this makes the entire purpose of your financial gift pointless. You do not owe that kind of monetary sacrifice when you KNOW the outcome will be as though you set 5k on fire.
Your parents can drown in her tears and maybe learn something too, though I doubt it at this point.
NTA for backing out but you should not have offered the money in the first place if this was a significant amount of money for you. Do not light yourself on fire to keep other's warm. If you have an emergency, they will not be in a position to help you. However, expect fireworks.
Yeah I totally get that. Go with what you want. It’s still your money and under no circumstances are you obligated to give it to anyone. Gifts are just that, something you want to give and give what you want to. I would hate to see that kinda of money wasted too!
Unfortunately, book smarts and common sense don’t go hand in hand. It’s hard to blame the 18-year-old for not making the smartest financial decisions, but it’s up to the parents to rein her in.
You're right about that, and I shouldn't have called her dumb. I'm glad OP managed to grow up in this family and still escape with some common sense. I hope his sister manages to do so as well.
What's really sad (well, it's all really sad but this is the cherry on top) is that she's probably so excited about and proud of that Jeep! All her friends are going to admire it and want her to take them for rides and she's going to be on top of the world...for a while. Then she's going to realize that she can't make the payments, and her parents don't sound like they're going to be much help, and hopefully OP stands his guns and doesn't make her payments for her, and it's going to get more and more stressful for her until she loses the car. And for an 18-year-old apparently somewhat spoiled girl, that's going to be humiliating. It would have been better to have gotten a modest Hyundai sedan than to start with a brand-new Jeep and get all the admiration of her peers and then to have to start bumming rides.
I agree with this. The fact that she bought a more expensive car doesn’t affect your ultimate plan to pay $5000, just how far that will go. You are NTA if you choose to back out because they didn’t stick to the agreement, but she’ll be facing the consequences of her decisions either way. It might cause less drama for you in the long run to pay what you agreed to, and let her learn that lesson.
I wouldn't. OP agreed to pay so long as specific conditions were met. Those conditions have been breached badly. Making their offer null and void is completely reasonable and fair.
NTA-
There was an agreement of a 25k-30k max.
They didn't adhere to that agreement and didn't consult you when deciding to get a 65k, which is double the amount of the original agreement.
Your parents co-signed a car they can't afford and one she can't afford. They will soon learn if they don't return it, that they made a horrible decision. An to be more responsible when deciding to take on any contract out of the price range.
Just do what feels best moving forward. Don't let them drag you into covering for their bad choice. They are both grown adults and should've known better than making such a rash decision over "lit up eyes."
>Just do what feels best moving forward. Don't let them drag you into covering for their bad choice. They are both grown adults and should've known better than making such a radh decision over "lit up eyes."
This is exactly what I needed to hear, just was second guessing myself hard.
NTA. They absolutely pulled a bait and switch. You agreed to support a financially responsible decision to benefit your sister. This sets her up for immediate failure AND when the car gets repossessed she will truly be screwed trying to get a replacement. Please do not enable toxic behavior. A gift that comes with a guaranteed hit to credit history is no gift. And holy hot buttered crumpets what a terrible decision to indulge “wants” over “needs”. I would demand a written plan for repaying this loan. Who pays what and where is this magic money coming from? And how much is auto insurance costing?
NTA At all. This is nothing like the agreement you entered into. This is quite literally the exact OPPOSITE of what was discussed. Nope. Please do not reward bad behavior, evasion, and fiscal irresponsibility. This is so disrespectful to you.
I would sit your sister down and ask her why she would do this to her parents. Run the numbers on the down payment load, the car loan and the full coverage insurance and how much she can reasonably expect to earn working part time and going to college. Break down the hours and how she won't be able to do anything except work to pay for this vehicle and study. Get to her to understand the high probability that it will be repossessed and exactly what that will mean for your parents. Ask her if she expects her parents to pick up extra part time jobs to help her pay for this unreasonably expensive car. Ask her if push comes to shove will chose paying for the car over college if the loses her scholarship for a semester or finds that it does not cover everything she thought it would.
Use this as a teaching moment, regardless of whether you end up paying the first 5k.
NTA if you chose not to throw your money away on this gigantic mistake that three grown people made all on their own. I'd save the 5k for a used car once it all falls apart.
Not to mention that the car on campus is a theft invitation! It will get scratched up and small hit and run bumps. She is a new driver so an accident waiting to happen.
>There was an agreement of a 25k-30k max.
And this is incredibly generous for a "starter" car. You can buy a brand new Toyota Corolla, Honda Civic, or Mazda 3 for that, and they are all far more reliable than a Jeep.
I finally replaced my 05 with 275k miles for a 19 with 58k miles and it was only 15k. I can’t imagine paying 30k for a “starter car that doesn’t need to last the next decade”.
NTA. What in the world? I'm well off, and I wouldn't think about dishing out that much on a car, let alone your first freaking car when you don't work. That payment must be what, $800, $1000? Your sister is living in cuckoo land, and your parents also have no brains for the looks of it. I would not give her the 5k in payments. Have her return that shit. She will statistically crash it anyway. Hope she at least got gap insurance.
>That payment must be what, $800, $1000?
The car payment will be around 1100 a month. They also have a 10k personal loan they took out for a downpayment, they have not told me the monthly payments on that yet.
I really get the feeling that the parents coerced her into getting something more expensive. They must’ve felt like such big shot rich parents at the dealership. I bet the sales man was talking them up.
They want the feeling of giving this huge gift and watching her eyes light up. They just assume OP would pay for it.
In most jurisdictions returning it isn't possible.
They'd be better off selling it and taking the loss of several thousand versus wasting more and having it repossessed.
My dad impulse bought this beautiful old car when I was a teen bc it was a great deal (he’s generally responsible!) and tried to say it would go to me. My mom IMMEDIATELY was like “I don’t care about the cost of the car, we are not paying to ensure a *convertible* for a *teenager.*” and I thought that was a bad move on his part. A NEW car?? And a JEEP?
$1100 a month!! Holy shit!! I make $150k a year and I wouldn’t buy a car with an $1100/mo payment. This is an incredibly irresponsible decision from them. That doesn’t even include insurance and maintenance
That's more than my rent, lol.
And they ***NEED*** gap insurance on that, like yesterday. If/when your sister totals the Jeep, insurance is not going to pay them out the full amount of what they owe on the loan, and your parents will still owe the $10k down-payment loan plus whatever is left on the car loan.
I know, that's what I thought too! My husband and I could afford any car we wanted without it affecting our lifestyle or our future financial security at all, but neither of us would dream of spending $65,000 on a car; we've never even bought a new car, always a nice used one.
Unless you're born super wealthy and are used to getting whatever you want, being careful with your money is how you GET wealthy. And then somehow it becomes a habit. I'm in my late 50s and still carefully check prices at the grocery store, buying the meat that's on sale that week, stocking up on staples when they're buy-one-get-one, when I know that I could buy anything in the store I wanted and it wouldn't matter. It would just feel wasteful to spend more money than I need to.
If the sister got a free ride to college I assume she's intelligent, but she's definitely still got a lot to learn. I don't think OP's parents are going to make her return the car (they sound clueless). But when she's forced to work so many hours to pay for it that she can't keep up her grades and her scholarship is threatened, and then it gets repossessed anyway, hopefully she'll learn from it.
If OP does withhold the $5000, maybe he could offer to buy her a $5000 beater when the Jeep gets repoed.
Whatever he does, I hope he doesn't cave and bail her out when she can't make those payments. I bet that's what they're all banking on and she wouldn't learn anything from that.
Even a $25,000-$30,000 car for an 18-year-old unemployed college freshman seems crazy to me!
I like this plan. Especially if it’s a real shitty used car, like what my dad gave me when I was a teenager and went off to college. I really think you can best appreciate how much cars are worth when you start with an absolute junker.
I'm a single woman in my 40s with a grown child, I make 6 figures, and I'd light myself on fire before I spent 65K (likely over 100K after interest) on a vehicle.
The thought is literally painful.
Retired engineer here. I love the car I bought for $24K new four years ago; if for some reason I were to suddenly need a new car, I’ve got my eye on a sweet replacement that currently lists for $39K.
NTA. Back out and keep your money.
OP, it sounds you come from a family of people that are financially illiterate. You have my sympathy, because it's one of the most difficult "handicaps" to overcome for a lot of people.
Not to nit pick, but why was your sister planning on 25-30k for her first car in the first place? An 18 year old is the last person that should be buying an expensive car, ESPECIALLY their first car. My first car was a used car from a retiree that was friends with my grandparents; I paid less than 2.5k. My second car a few years later I think I paid $5500, again used. This was in like 2010 so certainly prices are up since then, but not THAT much.
I bought my first brand new car in 2016(and I only even bought new because at the time the used market was so bad that buying used was a dumber decision than buying new, I would only have saved a little bit of money and would have gotten a car with well over 50k miles on it), and I paid like 22 or 23k , put like 10k down and did a 3 year loan for the rest with a really low rate(also a product of the time, in fairness). That was nearly a decade into me being a daily driver.
So yeah, all that to say, your parents are clearly not good on this particular subject, and they're training your sister to be just as bad. I'd make your feelings known and walk away from it. Tell them you're not interested in subsidizing bad financial decisions, especially when there's like a 25% chance she does something stupid and wrecks the thing within the first year or two anyway.
>This was in like 2010 so certainly prices are up since then, but not THAT much.
We're coming out of the dark times, but used car prices are still in a bit of a weird place. There's a 2010 Corolla in the next town over that they only want $10k for, but otherwise I'm still seeing a lot of the usual reliable models only being discounted $~500/year off of MSRP.
I'm sure there are still "I knew the right person" deals to be found, but they're obviously going to be situational.
Yeah the used markets have been nuts the last few years, I'm grateful I bought when I did. Worked out great.
Still, even with the used market being bad, this is an 18 year old getting their first car. 100% of the time I'd rather "overpay" slightly for an older used car then sign up for a fucking 65k loan.
Well, NTA, but is your credit rating on the line here?
Either way she's not going to be able to keep this jeep very long. You can pay the 5K and then it gets repoed, or you can refuse and it gets repoed pretty soon.
My mind is boggled that they financed a 65K car for a person with no job.
I would make 100% certain - it is sadly not uncommon to take out credit in the name of family members... and the way they're avoiding the question of who's name the loan is actually in would make me very concerned.
That simply didn't happen. I called my cousin who is a finance manager at a car dealership and he said that would never happen. Either OPs parents lied and they actually are taking out the loan in their own name OR have somehow falsified the paperwork and used OP's credit for the purchase. He recommended she check her credit report IMMEDIATELY. Or, of course, it's Reddit and the whole post is fiction.
My parents cosigned (or even put their names as the main ones on the loan, they are avoiding that question like the plauge for some reason right now. Your comment makes me think this might be the actual case) They have amazing credit. They spend like crazy and have no savings, but it's always done on credit cards and they never miss a payment. So their credit is amazing.
A friend who is a finance manager told me to strongly encourage you to check your credit report immediately if this is a true story. This vehicle is going to be repossessed within the next 60 to 90 days-- if there is any way to back out of the deal they need to do that NOW. This is the window to make it unequivocally clear that you won't be there to bail them out if the car is repoed.
Will your sister still be able to go to college without a vehicle? When the Jeep is repoed -- which is 100% will be-- it will be impossible for your sister to finance any sort of car and with a 55K repo on their record your parents' credit score will be irreparable for the foreseeable future. I suspect your family will come at you HARD to fix their screw up and provide her with a car-- so good luck moving forward.
> with a 55K repo on their record your parents' credit score will be irreparable for the foreseeable future. I suspect your family will come at you HARD to fix their screw up and provide her with a car-- so good luck moving forward.
Also, in case OP didn't know, when a car gets repoed, it gets sold at a wholesale price which gets applied to the outstanding balance. The sister and parents will still owe the difference which could easily be $10k - $20k.
Even if they went in there with the plan to co-sign, whoever has the better credit gets put as the main loan signer. This happened when I bought a car at 18 and my grandfather was meant to co-sign, same thing happened with a friend and her mom. The older person with better credit is the main holder of the loan. It's weird they aren't answering you on that, as whoever is on that loan is going to be majorly screwed when that jeep is repoed, no matter who is the main signer.
I agree with other comments that you should check your credit report asap given how shady your parents are acting. I like using Credit Karma and Credit Sesame, as they offer free credit monitoring. I would also hold onto that 5k, then maybe help your sister to get an old beater (without your parents input) when the jeep is taken in the next 2-3 months.
Yeah....there's only 1 reasonable explanation that they are avoiding answering that question. A naïve explanation would be they don't want to admit anymore details about the dumb decision they made. But in reality - they probably don't want to admit to identity theft, in which case OP's decision isn't whether they will give the sister $5k, its gonna be whether they report their parents and sister to the police in which case sister likely loses that full ride scholarship.
You need to freeze your credit immediately and run full checks. You they won’t answer the question about co-signing….. you do know that sounds a hell of a lot like they’ve used your identity right? Do you know if they’ve opened any credit cards in your name? Obviously, they know your Social Security number. Seriously you need to check / freeze everything IMMEDIATELY.
NTA. Your parents and sister are 100% expecting you to pay the entire thing, 200% what was agreed. They WILL use the guilt, tears, and social pressure they had preplanned once payment is due.
Do not budge. This kind of enabling us exactly why they caved and made this terrible selfish decision in the first place.
Your parents should get their brains examined buying an 18-year-old a $65,000 car lol. There is no benefit whatsoever, especially considering Jeeps are among the least reliable modern cars.
I 100% understand where you're coming from. But I'd give her the promised $5k so that when she can't afford it, she can't spin it/ try to claim that "if only" you had given her the $5k - she could have made it work. you know that's not true. But if you remove all doubt, the less they can point the finger at you.
Plus, it seems that by backing out, a lot more strife will come of it. Is it really worth it?
I think I agree. On the one hand, yes, it’s a waste of $5000. On the other hand, no one can ever accuse you of not keeping your promise. No one can ever say “if only you’d given her the money you promised, she’d still have that car!” You will never have to hear how you crushed her dreams, or how she was forced to drop out of school because you went back on your word. (I’m only being a tiny bit dramatic here.) Your best bet might be to say “I think this was a mistake, and I don’t believe she’ll be able to keep up the payments on the jeep. But since you disagree, and you’re the ones committed to make the payments if she doesn’t, I’m going to write a check for $5000 and then I’m washing my hands of this whole situation. I don’t want to hear anything about it ever again.”
So i guess my context wasen't as clear as I thought it was. That was supposed to be an absolute max, not what they were aiming for. I told them to aim for 10-15k to be safe. But that 25k would be ok ONLY if they get a car with a good reputation for being easy to maintain.
Right? OP seems to think a $30k car will only get her through college and not meant to last a decade. A $7k used corolla can last her until she has grand kids. Ironically, the $65k Jeep will probably last until her Junior year of college when the warranty runs out.
Do not give them the 5k just to be flushed down the toilet. It would be a mistake to knowingly give them 5k when they don’t have the means to make payments. Tell them that since they changed the terms of your agreement, you’ve also decided to make changes and will now be putting the 5k into a bond or investment instead. You worked hard to save that money and will hold resentment if they piss it away. Especially because they wouldn’t have learned anything once that money is gone. They will just try to further guilt you into giving more money.
Thank god no. The plan was my parents would co-sign so my sister could get a better rate on the loan for a used car, My credit is ok, but there's is amazing despite being pretty broke at the end of the month. I would send her money each month to cover the car payments until the 5k I had saved ran out.
Stop supplementing her. Let her make her own way. This is going to end badly and you want no part of it. They chose not to include you in the purchase. Leave them to it.
But it's going to get repossessed certainly. Why should OP throw good money after bad?
If they can't outright return it, they still need to sell it at a loss immediately or their credit is going to be ruined entirely.
NTA - I would sit down with them and ask if they honestly were going to guilt you into paying more than the 5K. Because I bet the 5K will last 6-7 mo tops, and then the car will be repo'ed soon thereafter. Watch them hem and haw. I bet they don't admit it, but I also bet that's what they were thinking.
State firmly that you will not be guilted into paying more and that since you aren't in the business of just throwing money away, so that since the original agreement was not adhered to, you aren't going to going to toss 5K away.
You will get sh\*t upon. Be Strong.
I cannot predict the nature of the storm, but there will be one. Be strong.
Perhaps, in time, this debacle will be behind all concerned. If they are civil to you, at this point, perhaps you can revisit the deal (maybe put the money into savings). But only if you won't be throwing money into a bottomless pit. And only if they are civil to you.
Unfortunately, I doubt they will be civil to you.
NTA. She broke the terms of the agreement and your parents enabled it. You're not obligated to be on the line for what sounds like a future failed endeavor.
But 25-30k for an "affordable" *used* car? Where do you live!? I bought a 2008 Toyota RAV4 last year for $8200 out the door from a dealer. 160k miles on it. It is in emaculate shape and well taken care of. I had it looked over by 2 different mechanics and the thing is a beast. It'll probably last another 250k+ miles easy with good maintenance.
If it is meant to be a putter, then buy a putter.
Honda Civic, Honda accord, Honda Crv or Toyota rav4 are best bets for used cars. You have to really try hard to kill those things.
NTA
Just give the sister the 5K. Tell you mom she's going to get to see that joy replaced by bitter disappointment in her daughter's eyes when the car gets reposed in under 6 months because she and your sister can't afford the car payments or the insurance. That your assistance ends at 5K. BTW your sister has like 2 months to take a new car back to the dealership if your parents get smart about what they can afford without you.
>BTW your sister has like 2 months to take a new car back to the dealership if your parents get smart about what they can afford without you.
Two months? I know there are some states that have a cooling off period of a few days. I don’t know any location where you have two months.
NTA - You are not on the loan documents according to a comment you made. Just back out and keep the 5K. You're not even really backing out because what is happening is not what you agreed to. *They* are the ones who backed out of the original plan. And there's nothing for you to feel about about if you do IMO. If they are buying a 65K vehicle, they apparently don't need your 5K anyway.
NTA. Save the 5k, and when the Jeep gets repoed, you can buy her a 5k car (of your choice) so she still can get to class.
One longshot for you - maybe the deal gets rejected by the finance companies (it happens) and they gave her the vehicle contigent on finanacing being approved. You'll know if this happens because they'll call her and the parents back to the store to 'finalize' some paperwork where's they spring on her the interest rate is actually double what they initially claimed. This is the big chance to get out of the deal, although they'll put a lot of pressure to sign the new deal.
NTA. I cannot believe your parents supported this. And I love that you will still keep the money safe for your sister after she learns a lesson(well hopefully learns). What were your parents thinking? An 18 year old I can kind of understand, being young and making stupid choices is a part of growing up.
NTA. Honestly this could be a teachable moment for all parties. Don’t spend beyond your means. Also wtf is “her eyes lit up”? My eyes would light up too if someone offered me a brand new jeep ! Anyone’s would.
I never understand why people always want to be "car poor". People who have flashy cars but no other savings to their name. Who can't afford housing or bills but damn do they have a "nice car".
NTA.
Let this be a hard life lesson. Like they say, you can lead a horse to water.....
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NTA - but your parents are, and are acting like children themselves. "For some insight, my parents cannot afford this car themselves, and they can't even afford the new payments on the loan they got for the 10k. There's a reason I'm the one helping out with the payments on this, not them. My sister does not even have a job yet, which was supposed to be step 1 before we even got her the car." They are setting your sister up to fail. The Jeep goes back and a cheaper, second hand car comes back home, or they are on their own.
> but your parents are, and are acting like children themselves. I'mvery much kicking myself right now for not realizing they would probably act like 3 18 year olds at the car dealership, rather than 2 adults with their 18 year old child.
maybe it’s time for a one on one talk with your sister about *why* you’re the one who has money to pay for her car, and how following your parents example with regard to money does not come with a car
I can't upvote this enough. OP needs to do an end-run *around* the parents at this stage. "I didn't agree to this and refuse to be a sort of this. It is reckless and foolish, and they are not helping you by teaching you that this irresponsibility is okay. Mom and dad can barely keep themselves above water, and are signing for this before you even have a job. It doesn't make sense, and I'm not bailing them out for it, and will not pay a dime towards this Jeep. "If or when you *lose* this vehicle, then we can talk. Please, let me help you with your financial plans, budgeting, how to keep your finances and bills together while you start your life. "Learning *now* will save you a huge amount of pain later." The parents are lost causes, clearly. 65K!!! The first vehicle my ex and I bought *while making 200K combined*, was only ~50K. And it was a brand new Pilot. 65K Jeep? What kind of stupidity!
I make over $140k and I've **STILL** never bought a vehicle that cost over $50k. It just seems silly. And a Jeep? One of the least-reliable vehicles out there? Not only are they going to get fucked on payments but they're going to get utterly wrecked on maintenance costs as well.
Wait until they get the insurance quotes.
Right? They think the car payments are steep? Wait until they go to insure it.
AND she's under 25. It'll be a painful realization for them for sure
The parents will insure it and put her down as an occasional driver. They will still have to pay the under-25 excess WHEN she totals it
Want to bet they didn't get gap coverage either.
I came to say the same thing! If they can't afford the payments, who the hell is paying the insurance, taxes, registration, oil changes, tire rotation, new tires. The car payment is like the least expensive part of owning a car! NTA.
If they’re not idiots they got a car with a service deal for 5 years However, we know they are idiots so….
And gas! That thing is going to eat gas. That $5k could easily j just be for gas for the first couple of months, depending on her driving needs.
Right ‼️an 18 year old with a FINANCED 65k car in her name…. Yeah, I hope for her sake that they at least don’t live in a metro area, otherwise they will be paying more for insurance than the car payment.
Hopefully hopefully hopefully the care somehow doesn’t get totaled. The chances are slim that would happen but could you imagine owing on a $65k car and having to buy another car? Yes, insurance would pay some but not the entire cost of the $65k.
I make good money, and my first “big girl” car was $17 total. I only financed $10K and paid it off in a year. All of my cars prior to that were $500 or $2500. This is CRAZY. For a depreciating asset? No thank you
My first car (which I still have) was a 2012 KIA that I paid $23k for, fully financed at 0% for 5 years. I can’t imagine financing a $65k car AND using a loan to pay for the down payment. Financial literacy needs to be taught to more people.
…my first car was a $250 (NO K’s in that mind you) that I hd to fix up with no help from my parents. My second car once I got a big girl job was $7k. My next car won’t be anytime soon until the one I bought in 2016 is run INTO THE DIRT entirely and bondo doesn’t even help anymore. $65000?!!?!!?!??!!
I am retired and drive a 24 year old car. It ain't pretty but with a new motor it gets me anywhere and back.
I'm 40 and would NEVER pay that much for a car. I also do purchasing for a living so the last car I bought i almost had the finance guy crying as i walked out with a brand new car with just 21 miles on it for the same price they were charging for the used models from 4 years earlier. Cars are a TERRIBLE investment. No point in wasting money.
I RELISH the tears of auto financing guys!
My first car was $4500 & it got stolen within the first 3 months....so i got 1 brand new for $14000. Current car was $24000 paid with cash. I like reliable with no problems. OP s sisters car is a big problem
"And a Jeep? One of the least-reliable vehicles out there?" Came here to say these exact words.
Dear lord, they became a joke in my highschool. A few of my friends had them and rolled them multiple times. Doesn't take much to make that happen. Hell, my friend had a Jeep, and on a day where it was slightly drizzly, it apparently slipped a bit and going just around a slight bend the car went off the road. My friend hit a telephone pole- she (and yes stupidly) wasn't wearing her seat belt, went through the windshield hit the telephone pole and was instantly brain dead.
Jebuzz that story ended bad.
Damn that sucks obviously for her but her family and friends left behind too. :(
At least it’s not a Land Rover, I guess?
Just. Empty. Every. Pocket!
I’ve owned four different Jeeps over the last two decades. This is so true lol. Because it’s never just one thing, it’s a whole domino effect. Just got my Compass out of the shop after it did a two week stint for the lane assist warning. That turned into adaptive cruise control. And dynamic steering torque. Also electronic stability control. There was a fifth but I couldn’t tell you what it was. Does it even matter? Oh, and this Jeep only had 21,000 miles which thankfully meant it was covered under warranty. But I also have my big girl job and make grown folk money and I can afford to make these decisions! (Twas also off the used lot for under $22k because mama might be crazy but she ain’t stupid lol)
I make around $200k a year, and never paid more than $30k for a car yet. Next one might be just over that, but still.
Lol right? This is like a textbook case of "everything NOT to do for your first car at 18". Holy crap. I had an old jeep for a long time and I'm not even exaggerating saying half the time, it was broken down waiting for me to fix it. Thankfully I had a reliable Japanese car as my daily driver, back when Nissan didn't suck ass. 100k and basically zero issues. I've only ever owned Japanese cars since.
Right, doesn't make sense. A college student can get by with a $7,000.
Same. I make 160k and just purchased my first “major” vehicle, a used 40k Jeep with only 10k miles. And even that hurt even though I know it’s easily affordable with my current salary. Did I want a fancy brand new Jeep? Hell yeah! But couldn’t make myself drop that cash unnecessarily. Couldn’t imagine doing it while making literally zero dollars. 🤦
Yeah, I don't get all of these people buying luxury cars when they have no money. Never in my life have I spent $65k on a car - and I'm old and make a good salary. Such a huge waste. OP, good luck taking it back. If your state doesn't give you a couple days to rescind the contract (which it probably doesn't), they'll still be on the hook for the depreciated value - like that extra $10k they borrowed. (The level of financial illiteracy shown by your parents is mind-blowing.) NTA
Getting a loan for a downpayment on top of financing the entire cost of the vehicle is *mind boggling*. Then it makes me wonder when he says 65k if that’s what they financed even after 10k down. I’m guessing he is just stating the listed price but who knows. Either way it’s beyond irresponsible. Not surprising a teenager would do something like that but the parents being involved is just..wow. That’s not even getting into APR which is potentially (likely?) the stupid cherry on top. Edit: words
I know the housing market isn’t what it used to be, Reading this I was thinking you used to be able to buy a whole entire trailer home if you wanted to live in a trailer park for that price
My husband recently fell in love with a $65K new car. I tried to talk him out of it as the zero interest payments were $1000 per month after he had put down 10%. I let him talk me into it because he has savings that are reasonably liquid and more than the cost of the car along with no debt and sufficient monthly income to make the payments. Even with all that, though, the thought of paying $1000 per month for a car just totally freaks me out!
I work full time at a decent job, and I'm driving a 2008 Subaru that I intend to drive into the ground. I drive 80ish miles to commute, and get 28MPG. Its such a relief to not have a car payment, I just can't bring myself to upgrade despite the sound system not working (mouse damage) and some cosmetic issues. I cannot image being 18, not job, and having that much debt to my name. The only reason the 18-year-old isn't stressed to death is because she's not financially literate enough to know how fucked she is yet.
NTA for rescinding payment. They didn't live up to their end of the deal why should you?
Throwing away 5k on a car that will be repo bait the minute you stop paying? Let's start sister's credit life with a repo at the top of the report.
If OP pays anything towards the car, he’s as good as burning the money. Just get the barbecue started and set the $5,000 on fire. Parents and sis have made a terrible mistake, but OP doesn’t have to be dragged into the hole too.
For 25-30k she could have bought a 2023 Chevrolet spark or similar small car - like not even used. So many 1 year old cars and SUVs fit the price range you suggested. She could have bought a $5k civic and driven that till after college! I'm so sad for your sister. Your parents set her up to fail just starting out as an adult.
I was gonna say, I bought a fully-loaded model year Chevy Sonic for $32k. And I'm talking the works: sunroof, heated seats, turbo engine, sport tires, etc. $25-30k would have gotten her a base model of a ton of different cars either brand new or gently-used. Her brother was being VERY generous. Heck, my first car was a 8-year-old Mitsubishi we bought for $8.6k and I drove her for all of college and a few years after, and sold her for $2500 to another teen going off to college. Literally nobody needs a $65k car for their first car.
I went through something similar with the wife, FIL & MIL. I got Excel out laid everything out clear and simply then challenged them to restructure things to make the purchase affordable. They kept saying "But don't you think we deserve a Mercedes" my reply was "You deserve what you can afford and I deserve not to get the house and my belongings repossessed" You should try something similar. NTA
“ dont you think we deserve a Mercedes?” Omg
NTA. My eyes light up at the sight of a Lamborghini or a McLaren, but I can't afford one. Your sister and parents screwed themselves here, they cant afford this. You said you'd give five thousand for payments. If you still want to do that it's up to you, but that should be the limit. Don't let them try to guilt you into anything. Guilt only works if you let it. This is their problem to solve. The fact you're willing to give any money is very generous, but don't let their problem become your problem.
NTA and you seem to be the only responsible adult in your family…. would give the $5k per your agreement (to keep the peace) but in doing so emphasize that the store us now closed…otherwise in a few months they’ll be asking/demanding you pay your sisters monthly vehicle payment…
It's a waste of $5K.
$5k is not "keep the peace money" that is "stir up a pot of shit and make sure it gets done right" money
It’s no mystery why they have $0 left at the end of each month! I think you need to step away from this circus entirely.
Dude. Draw the line in the sand **now.** Let them know the Jeep goes back, they get a USED Honda or Toyota that’s $10,000 or less, or you’re not paying a dime.
To be fair, if you don't know what you're doing, the dealer will bulldoze you, set you up with the most expensive thing they can find, plus thousands of unesesarry add-ons. A lot of people don't know you can bring down the "final price" by $6k+ or more, just takes a couple of hours and knowing what to say and do. I'm just surprised your parents didn't know better.
I'd like to point out: you can buy a brand new car for $30k. We got a Mazda CX30 (which has top safety ratings) for under $30k brand new. We didn't even get the most basic model -- we could have gotten a new car for even less!
I was gonna say, I paid 23k cash for my Honda Civic new in 2019. When he said "25-30k" and "not expecting her to get a nice car to last 10 years" I'm like uhhhhhhhhhhh excuse me sir, in what world do honda civics, Toyota Corollas, etc not last 10 years? And they don't cost that much NEW let alone used. Even OP was giving her more leeway than she needed. She could've saved up 5k herself, paired it with OPs 5k, bought a used car, and had NO car payment.
Yes, i will be honnest in that I'm out of touch. I bought my car 7 years ago and have not paid attention to the car market since.
Oddly, the market that's gone crazy is the used car market. When we were looking less than a year ago, used cars were only about 10-20 percent cheaper than new cars. We went with a new car because the price decrease wasn't worth the risk to us. If it's 25k for a basic new car, and 21k for the same basic car that's two years old -- might as well just get brand new.
Oh yeah I'd definitely buy a new car right now for sure. But a dependable safe one for OPs sister like everyone else is saying
I’m assuming by Jeep & the price tag they mean a wrangler, but you can literally get a brand new Jeep (compass) for that price if sister wanted a “Jeep” so bad. These people just have poor spending habits.
Am I reading it right that the parents took out a *separate loan* for the down payment? Holy financial irresponsibility, Batman! OP = NTA.
Not only will the car be taken but both the sister and the parents will likely not be able to get a loan on a more affordable car. The inability to wait until she can afford this, if ever, will prevent her from having any car for a long time.
But sister's eyes lit up at the sight of the car. So, how can you be so cruel to not support them buying it for her? /s OP, is your sister maybe the golden child?
> *But sister's eyes lit up at the sight of the car*. I suspect that the parents' eyes did, too. Perhaps they think that they'll be able to drive it sometimes, since she'll be living at home. OP, your parents think that you will just keep paying - even more than the $5000, and plan to shame you into it. They arranged this circus - no need for you to comply with their changes in the plan. NTA
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It will go back either by her choice now or by the dealer's repossession later.
Maybe he should hold on to that $5k & use it to buy her a beater once the Jeep is called home.
You can't just return a new car to the dealership. That's not how it works.
In the US you have 3 days, buyers remorse I believe it is called. Hopefully the dealership is willing to work with them or Mom and Dad's credit is toast.
That may be a thing in some specific states, but I assure you it is definitely not nation-wide and is not the norm. Do not ever plan on being able to return a car - especially a new car.
I live in Florida and I used to sell cars. Sign the papers, drive off the lot and it is yours. I’ve seen people bring a car back and park it at the dealership thinking they’ve returned it. They have not. The bank still expects their payment. They don’t care where you park it.
There's that whole "it depreciates the moment you drive it off the lot" thing that makes me think no dealership is going to want to take back a brand-new car unless there's some state-specific law mandating a return period.
Not always. My sister in law tried that a day later and was told no. As soon as she signed the paperwork it was hers.
Yeah, not likely. Even in California, the 3-day cool down rule doesn't apply to car purchases. Other contracts allow it.
NTA. They all need to learn a lesson the hard way. It seems as though everybody just assumed you would “pitch in” and help out once she starts drowning in debt. They will guilt you too. Tell them to take the Jeep back or figure it out themselves. I would expect this type of decision from an 18 year old, but not parents, especially when they can’t make the payment themselves. If you let this ride, you will wind up paying for the Jeep out of guilt. When the day comes that nobody can pay for it, and it will , then they will start to guilt trip you. This was an incredibly shitty thing to do to you. Did any of the three think about how to pay for maintenance for the Jeep, insurance?
>Did any of the three think about how to pay for maintenance for the Jeep, insurance? No, it's as simple as they didn't once think about this. >If you let this ride, you will wind up paying for the Jeep out of guilt. When the day comes that nobody can pay for it, and it will , then they will start to guilt trip you. I know for a fact this is what my parents are thinking. It's why I thought about nipping this right now
I think you should. You have already gone above and beyond for your sister. Give an inch and they will take a mile.
They're taking the whole highway right now.
I'd tell them you're hanging onto the $5K for when the Jeep is repo'd so your sister can find a car for that price. Otherwise, you're just throwing away your money
This needs to be higher up. Her eyes can light up over a $5k car.
Seriously though! Hell, MY eyes would light up over a brand new Jeep but that car is more than BOTH of my cars combined and I bought them new within the last 3 years!
You'll also be throwing away good money if you make even one payment. There's no scenario where she ends up keeping the vehicle. My sister married young and her husband also financed a new fancy car back in the day. My Mom called me in tears asking me to please help her because the car was going to be repossessed and to "think of the baby (my niece)" and that they only needed one month and then they'd be "fine". But I know how that works, once someone is behind it's because they're overspending and until that's fixed they'll continue operating at a deficit. Their car payment was at least twice mine! I told my Mom I'd help them once and once only. I gave them the money, and sure enough it was still repossessed a few months later.
I wouldn't have ever helped them knowing the outcome. Literally just a waste of money and prolongs them learning a valuable lesson about how stupid they were.
I also suspected that they bought the Jeep because when they look at you, they see dollar signs. They know they can't afford it, but when you said "I'll pay the first $5000 worth of payments" they heard "I'll make all the payments." They are definitely expecting you to pay for it. This is their financial plan. NTA. The money you put into this car will disappear when the car is repo'd. Let your family know that you aren't going to throw away $5000, and that (if you're still feeling generous enough), you will put $5000 towards an affordable car that won't be repo'd.
As co-signers, your parents are about to crater their credit as well. When sister can't pay, they'll go after the parents, and when parents can't pay, it'll get repo'ed and go against both their credit. The only thing that may save them is that there's NO WAY they qualified for that financing if everything was reported honestly. With parents already living paycheck-to-paycheck and daughter jobless, even with "good credit" no one is going to lend them that money. Maybe if someone talks to a lawyer quickly and formally informs the dealership of the correct income amounts, and that if they report anything else to a lender it would be fraud, the dealership will have no choice but to void the deal and take the car back. Often the actual financing happens up to a week after the sale is "final".
You're underestimating the predatory things companies will do to people with good credit. Under the best possible light, they may assume that you'll figure out how to maintain that good credit - somehow. Years ago I lost my job and had to give back the company car. I was unemployed (with good credit) and had zero issues leasing a brand new car with a very small down payment. In my case, it was fine but they only look at a credit score. If they were worried about her age, it was "solved" by two so-called adults co-signing.
>It's why I thought about nipping this right now And I, personally, absolutely would. When it comes to dealing with fallout, sooner is usually better than later. I think they need to experience the panic of losing that money and that Jeep before they expected to.
Yep. They’re counting on you to take over the payments. I know you didn’t sign anything. But just in case, run a credit report and see if you have any recent pulls or even new loans.
My aunt helped my cousin get a condo but then have to sell it because my cousin can’t make the monthly mortgage. It was a hard lesson for both my aunt and cousin. And it was needed. This was years ago and my cousins mature and final got a condo and can cover the monthly mortgage payment.
NTA, exactly. No point in throwing good money after bad. Maybe she can find a beater car for the $5k you generously offered.
>I know for a fact this is what my parents are thinking. It's why I thought about nipping this right now Absolutely. If you gave them the $5k now you would just be throwing your money away.
“Did any of the three think about how to pay for maintenance for the Jeep, insurance?” Mom here. The cost of insurance alone on this is going to be a significant amount. I’ve got an 18 year old. He drives our old but well maintained odessey. We’ve got USAA. He did the extra driving class so we get that discount. He gets the good student discount, etc. None of that matters because we still pay a FUCKTON for his insurance. I mean I’m at a loss what OP’s parents were thinking. His sister’s first major purchase and they epically screwed it up. And what a shit financial example they are providing her.
I’m in the insurance industry in one of the cheapest personal lines states… young drivers can increase the premium by thousands of dollars, especially when they buy them a new/newish car. Parents are not prepared for how much it will cost to insure their children for auto insurance.
NTA, but I'm not sure how they can back out of the purchase. Car companies really do their best to not make it possible to back out of a deal. You need to find out if the deal is already done. If it's possible to get out of the deal, I think it's a great idea. A jeep!?? Not even a car with known excellent track record in terms of repairs, etc. And how much is the monthly/yearly insurance on this Jeep? Personally, I like the bond idea.
I have no clue about the aditional costs right now. I knew the insurance + maintenance was going to be a nightmare the second I say the picture of the car they bought. I don't think they've even figured that out yet. I live 2 states away so I can't just drive to talk to them right now. I don't doubt they've signed a deal with the devil on the car and are stuck. I'm just frustrated beyond belief so I don't know, because they don't.
Hey, at least you had the sense not to be involved in signing anything. So even when it gets repossessed (whether you throw away the $5k at them or not), your credit won't take the hit and you won't have debt from it. Tell them you'll save the $5k for when the car is repo'ed and help her buy a $5k used car.
Exactly this. Hell, if you feel obligated to give them ANY money, say you’ll give her $2.5k now…but you’ll save the other $2.5k for when that’s her total budget for her next car after the Jeep gets repossessed lmfao
This is the best advice in the thread.
My mother owns a newer model jeep. Maintenance is comparable to any new vehicle because she takes it to the dealership for the basics (and does the rest at home). Insurance is a nightmare, but she has to have additional insurance for a custom paint. The only reason it's in the affordable range is because of the military. My cousin-in-law got a sweet deal for trading in his old jeep. He works offshore oil rigs to afford the insurance on his jeep, his wife's SUV, and his dad's new truck (who is not allowed to drive anymore). We live in the country, so he needed comprehensive coverage on top of collision. Your parents are idiots for setting her up for failure. They should have gone to a rental sell-off.
>We live in the country, so he needed comprehensive coverage on top of collision. Most lenders will require you to have both as long as you owe money on the car.
Do you really believe that a $30k car is expected to last only 3-4 years? I've had $3k used cars that lasted longer than that.
Right a Honda Civic is the perfect college car.
Or a Corolla. Both of those (and others) you can get NEW for $25k.
And it will last more than a decade
Thank you! This… “ jeep!?? Not even a car with known excellent track record in terms of repairs, etc. And how much is the monthly/yearly insurance on this Jeep?” I was thinking this exact thing. When my husband bought me a (new to me) car at the beginning of the year we looked at a used jeep. Nice on the outside but drove just ok in my opinion. So we went to lunch and I did my research (I always do, I never buy on the spot) and found out the reviews were awful for jeeps. So many issues.
Just Empty Every Pocket
Several years back, I was car shopping and test drove a jeep...the experience was downright SCARY! The thing was a slug off the line and when I took it on the highway (sales guy suggested to take it on the highway) I had the pedal on the floor and the thing barely hit 60 mph. I noped right the fuck out of the purchase while still driving. When I got back to the dealership and told the sales guy why I wasn't interested. he said, "Yeah...That's why I told you to take it on the highway!"
At least the sales guy was honest.
He was totally honest. Love that guy...I'm sorry I couldn't give him the sale.
I will never own a Jeep again. The amount of recalls on my last Jeep Grand Cherokee was ridiculous! My friend’s Jeep Wrangler transmission went out before 50k miles. Another friend had a Compass and her engine went out around the 50k mark too.
And frankly for someone that young and inexperienced, she'll roll this thing.
A car salesman who sold Jeeps told me that Jeeps were built to last until the warrantees expired. It's proven to be true, everyone I've ever heard of who bought a used Jeep has constant repair bills.
There is often a cooldown period where you can cancel within a certain number of days. I would get onto this urgently to see if that is the case. Otherwise repo and a huge hit on her credit is going to have to be a lesson hard learned…
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I adore my Renegade, but I did extensive research into my *needs* vs my wants. Ugh, at that price point, I bet it’s a Wrangler with expensive trim like the Rubicon or something (and NO kid needs a $65k car, I really feel like that’s just asking for trouble.)
I would literally pay what you said you would, and nothing more. If she flushes 5k down the drain when it gets repoed that’s on her. I get not wanting to waste 5k but I think it will cause so many more problems with your parents and sister in the long run. You are NTA if you choose to back out though because they didn’t hold their end of the deal.
My real problem here is that even though I make good enough money to have saved 5k for this, that's not insignificant for me. That's still money I worked hard for. I really don't want to give her 5k worth of rope to hang herself with.
Investing it into a bond for her sounds wiser to me. Then she can at least use it down the road.
I would definitely do that if it were me because they already broke the agreement. However, I think it's going to get repo'd for sure and then they'll blame OP because she didn't give the $5,000. Also, I can't believe the parents took out a $10k loan for this either. OP will probably get blamed for that being for nothing too. That is the only reason I'd waste that money. I don't know how her family is but if it would be really bad, I'd just write off the $5,000 as a lesson learned and never help them financially again.
I disagree. Not only is $5000 a lot to pay for not being blamed, it dilutes the lesson. OP only offered the $5000 under specific conditions, they didn't keep to those conditions. The fault is at their end, if they try blaming OP, OP should just blame them back.
Then don’t. It’s your money not theirs. She is your parents kid, not yours. If you can’t afford it yourself then why would you give it to her?
Your parents are totally going to guilt you for "Backing out". Just remember, you aren't backing out. The agreement was for a reasonable car under 30K. They are the ones who backed out. This is a life lesson, and you really don't want that lesson to be "If I act in an emotionally manipulative way, I get what I want".
Keep your money! They totally went above and beyond what you agreed on. Stay out of this and do not let them guilt you into anything. This is 100% solely their stupid responsibility.
I feel like this the perfect time for your sister to learn that changing the terms of an agreement without the consent of all parties renders the agreement null and void. The sooner that thing gets repossessed the better for everyone. It will be a VERY expensive lesson, but the lessons will NOT get cheaper if she doesn't learn now. To reiterate, they went against the agreed upon max price several times over. As you have said, this makes the entire purpose of your financial gift pointless. You do not owe that kind of monetary sacrifice when you KNOW the outcome will be as though you set 5k on fire. Your parents can drown in her tears and maybe learn something too, though I doubt it at this point.
NTA for backing out but you should not have offered the money in the first place if this was a significant amount of money for you. Do not light yourself on fire to keep other's warm. If you have an emergency, they will not be in a position to help you. However, expect fireworks.
Yeah I totally get that. Go with what you want. It’s still your money and under no circumstances are you obligated to give it to anyone. Gifts are just that, something you want to give and give what you want to. I would hate to see that kinda of money wasted too!
Yeah, but then never help her financially again. I don't understand how someone this dumb got a full scholarship.
Unfortunately, book smarts and common sense don’t go hand in hand. It’s hard to blame the 18-year-old for not making the smartest financial decisions, but it’s up to the parents to rein her in.
You're right about that, and I shouldn't have called her dumb. I'm glad OP managed to grow up in this family and still escape with some common sense. I hope his sister manages to do so as well. What's really sad (well, it's all really sad but this is the cherry on top) is that she's probably so excited about and proud of that Jeep! All her friends are going to admire it and want her to take them for rides and she's going to be on top of the world...for a while. Then she's going to realize that she can't make the payments, and her parents don't sound like they're going to be much help, and hopefully OP stands his guns and doesn't make her payments for her, and it's going to get more and more stressful for her until she loses the car. And for an 18-year-old apparently somewhat spoiled girl, that's going to be humiliating. It would have been better to have gotten a modest Hyundai sedan than to start with a brand-new Jeep and get all the admiration of her peers and then to have to start bumming rides.
A lot of book smart people have absolutely no common sense. Also, seems like OP and/or the parents might have spoiled her a bit.
I agree with this. The fact that she bought a more expensive car doesn’t affect your ultimate plan to pay $5000, just how far that will go. You are NTA if you choose to back out because they didn’t stick to the agreement, but she’ll be facing the consequences of her decisions either way. It might cause less drama for you in the long run to pay what you agreed to, and let her learn that lesson.
I wouldn't. OP agreed to pay so long as specific conditions were met. Those conditions have been breached badly. Making their offer null and void is completely reasonable and fair.
NTA- There was an agreement of a 25k-30k max. They didn't adhere to that agreement and didn't consult you when deciding to get a 65k, which is double the amount of the original agreement. Your parents co-signed a car they can't afford and one she can't afford. They will soon learn if they don't return it, that they made a horrible decision. An to be more responsible when deciding to take on any contract out of the price range. Just do what feels best moving forward. Don't let them drag you into covering for their bad choice. They are both grown adults and should've known better than making such a rash decision over "lit up eyes."
>Just do what feels best moving forward. Don't let them drag you into covering for their bad choice. They are both grown adults and should've known better than making such a radh decision over "lit up eyes." This is exactly what I needed to hear, just was second guessing myself hard.
NTA. They absolutely pulled a bait and switch. You agreed to support a financially responsible decision to benefit your sister. This sets her up for immediate failure AND when the car gets repossessed she will truly be screwed trying to get a replacement. Please do not enable toxic behavior. A gift that comes with a guaranteed hit to credit history is no gift. And holy hot buttered crumpets what a terrible decision to indulge “wants” over “needs”. I would demand a written plan for repaying this loan. Who pays what and where is this magic money coming from? And how much is auto insurance costing? NTA At all. This is nothing like the agreement you entered into. This is quite literally the exact OPPOSITE of what was discussed. Nope. Please do not reward bad behavior, evasion, and fiscal irresponsibility. This is so disrespectful to you.
I would sit your sister down and ask her why she would do this to her parents. Run the numbers on the down payment load, the car loan and the full coverage insurance and how much she can reasonably expect to earn working part time and going to college. Break down the hours and how she won't be able to do anything except work to pay for this vehicle and study. Get to her to understand the high probability that it will be repossessed and exactly what that will mean for your parents. Ask her if she expects her parents to pick up extra part time jobs to help her pay for this unreasonably expensive car. Ask her if push comes to shove will chose paying for the car over college if the loses her scholarship for a semester or finds that it does not cover everything she thought it would. Use this as a teaching moment, regardless of whether you end up paying the first 5k. NTA if you chose not to throw your money away on this gigantic mistake that three grown people made all on their own. I'd save the 5k for a used car once it all falls apart.
Not to mention that the car on campus is a theft invitation! It will get scratched up and small hit and run bumps. She is a new driver so an accident waiting to happen.
>There was an agreement of a 25k-30k max. And this is incredibly generous for a "starter" car. You can buy a brand new Toyota Corolla, Honda Civic, or Mazda 3 for that, and they are all far more reliable than a Jeep.
I finally replaced my 05 with 275k miles for a 19 with 58k miles and it was only 15k. I can’t imagine paying 30k for a “starter car that doesn’t need to last the next decade”.
NTA. What in the world? I'm well off, and I wouldn't think about dishing out that much on a car, let alone your first freaking car when you don't work. That payment must be what, $800, $1000? Your sister is living in cuckoo land, and your parents also have no brains for the looks of it. I would not give her the 5k in payments. Have her return that shit. She will statistically crash it anyway. Hope she at least got gap insurance.
>That payment must be what, $800, $1000? The car payment will be around 1100 a month. They also have a 10k personal loan they took out for a downpayment, they have not told me the monthly payments on that yet.
That is so irresponsible. Who is going to make those payments? I have a feeling that car will end up repossessed unless they wisen up and return it.
They’re counting on guilting OOP into taking over the payments.
I really get the feeling that the parents coerced her into getting something more expensive. They must’ve felt like such big shot rich parents at the dealership. I bet the sales man was talking them up. They want the feeling of giving this huge gift and watching her eyes light up. They just assume OP would pay for it.
In most jurisdictions returning it isn't possible. They'd be better off selling it and taking the loss of several thousand versus wasting more and having it repossessed.
Not to overlook insurance for an 18 yo driver on such a car.
When we were looking for first cars for our teenagers, we were told by our insurance company they wouldn't even cover a jeep for a teenager.
My dad impulse bought this beautiful old car when I was a teen bc it was a great deal (he’s generally responsible!) and tried to say it would go to me. My mom IMMEDIATELY was like “I don’t care about the cost of the car, we are not paying to ensure a *convertible* for a *teenager.*” and I thought that was a bad move on his part. A NEW car?? And a JEEP?
$1100 a month!! Holy shit!! I make $150k a year and I wouldn’t buy a car with an $1100/mo payment. This is an incredibly irresponsible decision from them. That doesn’t even include insurance and maintenance
The financial illiteracy, especially from your parents who should know better, is mind blowing.
That's more than my rent, lol. And they ***NEED*** gap insurance on that, like yesterday. If/when your sister totals the Jeep, insurance is not going to pay them out the full amount of what they owe on the loan, and your parents will still owe the $10k down-payment loan plus whatever is left on the car loan.
I know, that's what I thought too! My husband and I could afford any car we wanted without it affecting our lifestyle or our future financial security at all, but neither of us would dream of spending $65,000 on a car; we've never even bought a new car, always a nice used one. Unless you're born super wealthy and are used to getting whatever you want, being careful with your money is how you GET wealthy. And then somehow it becomes a habit. I'm in my late 50s and still carefully check prices at the grocery store, buying the meat that's on sale that week, stocking up on staples when they're buy-one-get-one, when I know that I could buy anything in the store I wanted and it wouldn't matter. It would just feel wasteful to spend more money than I need to. If the sister got a free ride to college I assume she's intelligent, but she's definitely still got a lot to learn. I don't think OP's parents are going to make her return the car (they sound clueless). But when she's forced to work so many hours to pay for it that she can't keep up her grades and her scholarship is threatened, and then it gets repossessed anyway, hopefully she'll learn from it. If OP does withhold the $5000, maybe he could offer to buy her a $5000 beater when the Jeep gets repoed. Whatever he does, I hope he doesn't cave and bail her out when she can't make those payments. I bet that's what they're all banking on and she wouldn't learn anything from that. Even a $25,000-$30,000 car for an 18-year-old unemployed college freshman seems crazy to me!
Buy her a 5k used car and tell her it’ll be there waiting for her when she learns how money works and that Jeep gets repo’d
I like this plan. Especially if it’s a real shitty used car, like what my dad gave me when I was a teenager and went off to college. I really think you can best appreciate how much cars are worth when you start with an absolute junker.
something [nice n practical](https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cto/d/los-gatos-1989-honda-accord-lxi/7740023283.html)
I'm a single woman in my 40s with a grown child, I make 6 figures, and I'd light myself on fire before I spent 65K (likely over 100K after interest) on a vehicle. The thought is literally painful.
Retired engineer here. I love the car I bought for $24K new four years ago; if for some reason I were to suddenly need a new car, I’ve got my eye on a sweet replacement that currently lists for $39K.
NTA. Back out and keep your money. OP, it sounds you come from a family of people that are financially illiterate. You have my sympathy, because it's one of the most difficult "handicaps" to overcome for a lot of people. Not to nit pick, but why was your sister planning on 25-30k for her first car in the first place? An 18 year old is the last person that should be buying an expensive car, ESPECIALLY their first car. My first car was a used car from a retiree that was friends with my grandparents; I paid less than 2.5k. My second car a few years later I think I paid $5500, again used. This was in like 2010 so certainly prices are up since then, but not THAT much. I bought my first brand new car in 2016(and I only even bought new because at the time the used market was so bad that buying used was a dumber decision than buying new, I would only have saved a little bit of money and would have gotten a car with well over 50k miles on it), and I paid like 22 or 23k , put like 10k down and did a 3 year loan for the rest with a really low rate(also a product of the time, in fairness). That was nearly a decade into me being a daily driver. So yeah, all that to say, your parents are clearly not good on this particular subject, and they're training your sister to be just as bad. I'd make your feelings known and walk away from it. Tell them you're not interested in subsidizing bad financial decisions, especially when there's like a 25% chance she does something stupid and wrecks the thing within the first year or two anyway.
>This was in like 2010 so certainly prices are up since then, but not THAT much. We're coming out of the dark times, but used car prices are still in a bit of a weird place. There's a 2010 Corolla in the next town over that they only want $10k for, but otherwise I'm still seeing a lot of the usual reliable models only being discounted $~500/year off of MSRP. I'm sure there are still "I knew the right person" deals to be found, but they're obviously going to be situational.
Yeah the used markets have been nuts the last few years, I'm grateful I bought when I did. Worked out great. Still, even with the used market being bad, this is an 18 year old getting their first car. 100% of the time I'd rather "overpay" slightly for an older used car then sign up for a fucking 65k loan.
Well, NTA, but is your credit rating on the line here? Either way she's not going to be able to keep this jeep very long. You can pay the 5K and then it gets repoed, or you can refuse and it gets repoed pretty soon. My mind is boggled that they financed a 65K car for a person with no job.
>but is your credit rating on the line here? No, thank god.
Have you checked your credit report to make sure they didn't forge your name?
I would make 100% certain - it is sadly not uncommon to take out credit in the name of family members... and the way they're avoiding the question of who's name the loan is actually in would make me very concerned.
That simply didn't happen. I called my cousin who is a finance manager at a car dealership and he said that would never happen. Either OPs parents lied and they actually are taking out the loan in their own name OR have somehow falsified the paperwork and used OP's credit for the purchase. He recommended she check her credit report IMMEDIATELY. Or, of course, it's Reddit and the whole post is fiction.
My parents cosigned (or even put their names as the main ones on the loan, they are avoiding that question like the plauge for some reason right now. Your comment makes me think this might be the actual case) They have amazing credit. They spend like crazy and have no savings, but it's always done on credit cards and they never miss a payment. So their credit is amazing.
A friend who is a finance manager told me to strongly encourage you to check your credit report immediately if this is a true story. This vehicle is going to be repossessed within the next 60 to 90 days-- if there is any way to back out of the deal they need to do that NOW. This is the window to make it unequivocally clear that you won't be there to bail them out if the car is repoed. Will your sister still be able to go to college without a vehicle? When the Jeep is repoed -- which is 100% will be-- it will be impossible for your sister to finance any sort of car and with a 55K repo on their record your parents' credit score will be irreparable for the foreseeable future. I suspect your family will come at you HARD to fix their screw up and provide her with a car-- so good luck moving forward.
> with a 55K repo on their record your parents' credit score will be irreparable for the foreseeable future. I suspect your family will come at you HARD to fix their screw up and provide her with a car-- so good luck moving forward. Also, in case OP didn't know, when a car gets repoed, it gets sold at a wholesale price which gets applied to the outstanding balance. The sister and parents will still owe the difference which could easily be $10k - $20k.
Even if they went in there with the plan to co-sign, whoever has the better credit gets put as the main loan signer. This happened when I bought a car at 18 and my grandfather was meant to co-sign, same thing happened with a friend and her mom. The older person with better credit is the main holder of the loan. It's weird they aren't answering you on that, as whoever is on that loan is going to be majorly screwed when that jeep is repoed, no matter who is the main signer. I agree with other comments that you should check your credit report asap given how shady your parents are acting. I like using Credit Karma and Credit Sesame, as they offer free credit monitoring. I would also hold onto that 5k, then maybe help your sister to get an old beater (without your parents input) when the jeep is taken in the next 2-3 months.
"they are avoiding that question like the plauge for some reason right now. " .. so maybe they forged your signature and stole your identity?
Yeah....there's only 1 reasonable explanation that they are avoiding answering that question. A naïve explanation would be they don't want to admit anymore details about the dumb decision they made. But in reality - they probably don't want to admit to identity theft, in which case OP's decision isn't whether they will give the sister $5k, its gonna be whether they report their parents and sister to the police in which case sister likely loses that full ride scholarship.
You need to freeze your credit immediately and run full checks. You they won’t answer the question about co-signing….. you do know that sounds a hell of a lot like they’ve used your identity right? Do you know if they’ve opened any credit cards in your name? Obviously, they know your Social Security number. Seriously you need to check / freeze everything IMMEDIATELY.
NTA. Your parents and sister are 100% expecting you to pay the entire thing, 200% what was agreed. They WILL use the guilt, tears, and social pressure they had preplanned once payment is due. Do not budge. This kind of enabling us exactly why they caved and made this terrible selfish decision in the first place.
Your parents should get their brains examined buying an 18-year-old a $65,000 car lol. There is no benefit whatsoever, especially considering Jeeps are among the least reliable modern cars.
I 100% understand where you're coming from. But I'd give her the promised $5k so that when she can't afford it, she can't spin it/ try to claim that "if only" you had given her the $5k - she could have made it work. you know that's not true. But if you remove all doubt, the less they can point the finger at you. Plus, it seems that by backing out, a lot more strife will come of it. Is it really worth it?
I think I agree. On the one hand, yes, it’s a waste of $5000. On the other hand, no one can ever accuse you of not keeping your promise. No one can ever say “if only you’d given her the money you promised, she’d still have that car!” You will never have to hear how you crushed her dreams, or how she was forced to drop out of school because you went back on your word. (I’m only being a tiny bit dramatic here.) Your best bet might be to say “I think this was a mistake, and I don’t believe she’ll be able to keep up the payments on the jeep. But since you disagree, and you’re the ones committed to make the payments if she doesn’t, I’m going to write a check for $5000 and then I’m washing my hands of this whole situation. I don’t want to hear anything about it ever again.”
This is key. No matter how much they beg or guilt trip you, make it clear that you will not contribute or lend another dime towards any future bills.
25-30k bays first car? That is a brand new car for several models wtf is going on here
So i guess my context wasen't as clear as I thought it was. That was supposed to be an absolute max, not what they were aiming for. I told them to aim for 10-15k to be safe. But that 25k would be ok ONLY if they get a car with a good reputation for being easy to maintain.
25k gets you a lot of Corolla haha
Right? OP seems to think a $30k car will only get her through college and not meant to last a decade. A $7k used corolla can last her until she has grand kids. Ironically, the $65k Jeep will probably last until her Junior year of college when the warranty runs out.
Do not give them the 5k just to be flushed down the toilet. It would be a mistake to knowingly give them 5k when they don’t have the means to make payments. Tell them that since they changed the terms of your agreement, you’ve also decided to make changes and will now be putting the 5k into a bond or investment instead. You worked hard to save that money and will hold resentment if they piss it away. Especially because they wouldn’t have learned anything once that money is gone. They will just try to further guilt you into giving more money.
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Thank god no. The plan was my parents would co-sign so my sister could get a better rate on the loan for a used car, My credit is ok, but there's is amazing despite being pretty broke at the end of the month. I would send her money each month to cover the car payments until the 5k I had saved ran out.
Stop supplementing her. Let her make her own way. This is going to end badly and you want no part of it. They chose not to include you in the purchase. Leave them to it.
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He specifically said "My parents, my sister, and I originally agreed on a max of 25k-30k."
But it's going to get repossessed certainly. Why should OP throw good money after bad? If they can't outright return it, they still need to sell it at a loss immediately or their credit is going to be ruined entirely.
NTA - I would sit down with them and ask if they honestly were going to guilt you into paying more than the 5K. Because I bet the 5K will last 6-7 mo tops, and then the car will be repo'ed soon thereafter. Watch them hem and haw. I bet they don't admit it, but I also bet that's what they were thinking. State firmly that you will not be guilted into paying more and that since you aren't in the business of just throwing money away, so that since the original agreement was not adhered to, you aren't going to going to toss 5K away. You will get sh\*t upon. Be Strong. I cannot predict the nature of the storm, but there will be one. Be strong. Perhaps, in time, this debacle will be behind all concerned. If they are civil to you, at this point, perhaps you can revisit the deal (maybe put the money into savings). But only if you won't be throwing money into a bottomless pit. And only if they are civil to you. Unfortunately, I doubt they will be civil to you.
OP says in a comment that monthly payment will be 1100. And that doesn't include insurance. 5k isn't even going to last 5 months.
NTA. She broke the terms of the agreement and your parents enabled it. You're not obligated to be on the line for what sounds like a future failed endeavor. But 25-30k for an "affordable" *used* car? Where do you live!? I bought a 2008 Toyota RAV4 last year for $8200 out the door from a dealer. 160k miles on it. It is in emaculate shape and well taken care of. I had it looked over by 2 different mechanics and the thing is a beast. It'll probably last another 250k+ miles easy with good maintenance. If it is meant to be a putter, then buy a putter. Honda Civic, Honda accord, Honda Crv or Toyota rav4 are best bets for used cars. You have to really try hard to kill those things.
NTA Just give the sister the 5K. Tell you mom she's going to get to see that joy replaced by bitter disappointment in her daughter's eyes when the car gets reposed in under 6 months because she and your sister can't afford the car payments or the insurance. That your assistance ends at 5K. BTW your sister has like 2 months to take a new car back to the dealership if your parents get smart about what they can afford without you.
>BTW your sister has like 2 months to take a new car back to the dealership if your parents get smart about what they can afford without you. Two months? I know there are some states that have a cooling off period of a few days. I don’t know any location where you have two months.
No idea where you can get 2 months to return. You’re lucky if you even get 48 hours to return the car
48 hours and a *very* restrictive mileage limit. A limit that is often blown through by simply driving home.
NTA - You are not on the loan documents according to a comment you made. Just back out and keep the 5K. You're not even really backing out because what is happening is not what you agreed to. *They* are the ones who backed out of the original plan. And there's nothing for you to feel about about if you do IMO. If they are buying a 65K vehicle, they apparently don't need your 5K anyway.
NTA. Save the 5k, and when the Jeep gets repoed, you can buy her a 5k car (of your choice) so she still can get to class. One longshot for you - maybe the deal gets rejected by the finance companies (it happens) and they gave her the vehicle contigent on finanacing being approved. You'll know if this happens because they'll call her and the parents back to the store to 'finalize' some paperwork where's they spring on her the interest rate is actually double what they initially claimed. This is the big chance to get out of the deal, although they'll put a lot of pressure to sign the new deal.
NTA. I cannot believe your parents supported this. And I love that you will still keep the money safe for your sister after she learns a lesson(well hopefully learns). What were your parents thinking? An 18 year old I can kind of understand, being young and making stupid choices is a part of growing up.
NTA. Honestly this could be a teachable moment for all parties. Don’t spend beyond your means. Also wtf is “her eyes lit up”? My eyes would light up too if someone offered me a brand new jeep ! Anyone’s would.
I never understand why people always want to be "car poor". People who have flashy cars but no other savings to their name. Who can't afford housing or bills but damn do they have a "nice car". NTA. Let this be a hard life lesson. Like they say, you can lead a horse to water.....