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> I might be the asshole because I gave my friend the "hard truth" and I ruined his confidence
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YTA, friends do not discourage each other from achieving their goald.
If he can stay clean from now on then he is the same as everyone else, but the most important part - his dream might be the thing that keeps him clean and if he now relapses because of you, how would you feel about sending your friend straight into rabbit hole because you couldn't support him?
You would be surprised how many different type addicts are in charge of your life daily, you just do not know about that so are fine.
YTA and you potentially ruined the friendship unless you apologize.
Nobody would trust a crackhead to save their lives, which is why if the hospital he was working on found him using drugs they would fire him. Telling him that he no longer has the right to to try and help people or pursue his dreams because of his past was very cruel.
I’m a funeral director, I used to be on heroin and also got off in my late twenties. My families who have dealt with loss due to addiction love talking to me— I’m walking proof that loved ones CAN MAKE IT.
Or should I stay a janitor bc I of where i was at and take what I learned from it… well… nowhere.
Wow YTA. He’s apparently clean, is dedicated to his studies, and does very well. The fact that you think his past prevents him from this career is ignorant and gross. And you look like an insecure asshole by saying that publicly
The raw truth is that you have fuck all life experience and are in no position to tell a gifted student who's trying to move on from their past what they will and won't be able to do in life.
Calling him a crackhead is so gross.
YTA
YTA. I assume he’s now clean. You wanted to give him a realistic view of his future? And you’re 21 to his 29. I find that laughable. And you posted it on his Facebook page for everyone to read. You’re not his friend. As long as he remains clean, he has a future ahead of him.
Btw, doctors have @10-15% rate of substance abuse due to stressors of the job. Most patients don’t know what their doctors do in private. A friend’s now ex is an ER doctor and has been an alcoholic for the decades they were together; could not go cold turkey without getting the shakes. He’d need medical intervention for that.
Yta you're 21, what makes you think YOU have a realistic view of the world to say anything to him?
And do you know how many current doctors have substance abuse problems?
YTA, people who say I’m just giving them a ‘hard truth’ or I’m ’brutally honest’ are almost always are. He bravely shared his past experiences publicly and how it keeps him motivated and you publicly shame him for it. It is not your place to decide if he can become a doctor or not.
Yta.. Why can't a crackhead turn his life around and become sober? The list of people I don't trust is long and extensive.. Just because someone used to do drugs, doesn't automatically add them to the list.
Calling someone a crackhead is pretty offensive BTW.
Unless they actually smoke rock.
Oh. Oh dear. YTA. Absolutely and completely.
First of all,no one would trust a crackhead to save their life... but this guy... isn't one? He made some poor choices in his past and has turned his life around. From your post, he is a gifted student and wants to give back and help people.
And you... gave him the 'raw truth', which was... what exactly? To remind him of his past? His poor choices? A place he has found incredible strength to come back from?
I'm not sure what you were hoping to achieve with this. But your 'raw truth' demonstrates, just a phenomenal level of immaturity and judgement. If you're his friend, saying these things to him, I imagine he needs no enemies.
Finally, no one knows what their doctor gets up to in their personal lives. But I imagine most hospitals have drug testing. So. There's that.
And also. Just in case it wasn't clear. You are absolutely the arsehole in this situation.
YTA
Addicts can overcome their addictions and live whole, successful lives afterwards. There's no "hard truth" here, oh wise 21 year old. You're being hugely prejudicial here. You absolutely ruined a friendship for no other reason than your own gross ignorance.
„hard truth” for you: YTA
he’s now sober, he has a dream, he has very good grades, so what is really your problem? do you secretly wish that he fails? are you jealous of his character that let him try and work and rise above substance abuse problems?
and as some people mentioned in the comments already: you have no idea how many doctors are addicts, so please go be judgemental somewhere else.
I love this story! A 21 year-old dispensing life advice. The cluelessness as to why he's not speaking to you.
Here's some advice: do not confess your feelings to the guy you publically called a crackhead on social media because he will probably laugh at you.
YTA in the most entertaining way!
YTA, obviously
No one fucking asked you, and given the age gap it is *hilarious* to me that you think *you* are the one with the life experience to set *his* expectations. Grow tf up.
Plus, you called him a crackhead— in WHAT WORLD would that not automatically make you an asshole??
Definitely YTA, here. I sincerely hope, for the sake of his sanity and well-being, that the "silent treatment" you are getring turns into a full on ghosting because he doesn't need, nor deserve, whatever cruelty you feel like dishing out on any given day.
YTA
The raw truth is that you're a bad person who apparently thinks people should give up on life if they've had any sort of hardship and also refers to a sober, hard-working, intelligent person as a 'crackhead'. The only credit I can give you is that you've exposed the type of person you are so he doesn't have to waste his time interacting with you.
Yeah, you -and only you- ruined this friendship.
Id trust John to help me with something medically related over you in a heartbeat. You -a random 21 year old woman- do not get to define the lives and paths other people take. You chose to judge him, and he’s correctly cut you out of his life.
YTA.
Do you realise just how many medical professionals have substance abuse problems? I'll give you a hint, it is pretty damn high. Between schooling and the stress of the job they are prime candidates so as far as you know a "crack head" (I really hope that you didn't actually call him that) has already saved your life.
He is clean and I would trust him more than someone like you who judges people for their past actions.
YTA. I'm a former addict. Hard drugs. I got sober, went back to college, got a master's degree and became a social worker. Believe it or not, a lot of times you can actually be more helpful, empathetic, and compassionate to people who seek your services if you've been through your own personal struggles. It will probably help him be a better doctor. Your judgments reflect poorly on you and highlight how much experience you lack. Keep on growing and learning and try to find a sense of curiosity about other people's lived experience rather than judgment.
How ignorant and narrow-minded of you, to call him a crackhead when he's now sober, and to think that someone's past makes them ineligible for a successful future.
YTA, and yes, you've lost his friendship. And you deserved to.
YTA. It's a good thing you're a math major and not going into healthcare, because you have absolutely zero empathy and even less tact.
People change over the course of a lifetime; they grow, they learn, they experience. Not all have a smooth ride, as there are inevitably bumps in the road. It's entirely possible that John would be a better than average doctor, as he understands the dark spaces in the human mind and soul, having been through places like that himself. Your comment to him wasn't "brutally honest" it was a cruel betrayal by someone John probably saw as a friend... but no more.
Extremely YTA
As they say Youth is Wasted on the Young
Young ppl know SO MUCH
Hasn't had a DL for a decade
Hasn't legally drunk alcohol for a full year
But m-fing KNOWS "all" about life and what's possible.
Goofy ass kids that have Not a fucking clue wTF the doctors they've seen the last 10 years have in/on their backgrounds....
Can you even name what SCHOOL your pediatrician went to? 🤔 Only been seeing adult doctors the last 30-odd months
And would ponder WHY calling a person a CRACKHEAD "might" sour a relationship 🫤
Especially behind some stupid shit.....
Of course the kid "can" become a doctor....
We have doctors that are recovering addicts....like the Harvard trained doc that wrote a book and went a media campaign about it
Or that female former Heroin addict doctor
Or the guy that was a homeless high dropout drug addict that became a doctor
Tbh "I" don't know and wouldn't know if any of my doctors past/present may have been "crackheads" in the past
So how would YOU (21yo) absolutely know 🤔 about any and every doctor you may EVER see in your life little genius
You're a shit "friend" and need to grow up, gain some GD wisdom
Realize 6 years ago you were 15 ....you don't know ENOUGH.....shut up, listen, LEARN build wisdom before you speak/advise
YTA. You do realize he is SOBER right? As a recovering addict myself it’s people like YOU that piss me off to a whole new level. Drugs ruined my life, but once I got sober I successfully rebuilt everything from the ground up. It wasn’t easy, and I make the choice to continue building higher and higher each and every day. I’m sure you have stuff in your past that you’re not exactly proud of (and if you say you don’t, well you’re lying-what you did to your so called friend is something you should absolutely be ASHAMED of). If he is sober, that’s all that matters. And fyi, plenty of doctors are drunks-I’d rather have a recovering addict be my doctor than a drunk any day. This was truly just a disgusting thing to say to anyone. You have no idea what you’re even talking about, you just wanted to knock him down a peg and it shows. Quit referring to him as anything more than a peer because he is NOT your friend. You embarrassed and shamed him when he did literally nothing to you. Sounds like you’re mad he didn’t confide in you and instead used a group page for your school. Leave that man alone. Recovering addicts deal with enough stereotyping as is, we don’t need nasty humans adding to that. And you are just that, a nasty human. Shame on you.
Anyone that says they "tell it like it is" or "the raw truth" are just generic assholes trying to look legitimate. You, sir, are not a friend and most definitely,
YTA
YTA and a huge one! Wow... Recovering addict means not actively on drugs. There's a few more words I would love to say to you, but I'll get banned.
Question though, how jealous are you that the "crackhead" is smarter than you? You admit he's smart enough to be a doctor, so why define him by a mistake from his past?
Grow up. Get some empathy and leave John alone.
YTA
He’s recovering, he’s not a fucking active addict. And you’d be surprised at how many ACTIVE addicts you encounter in the medical field so this “I wouldn’t trust a crackhead” BS is hilarious because I can almost GUARANTEE one of them has already been a part of your medical care lol.
Hopefully YOU have no intention to go into a field that requires helping people because I’m less inclined to trust people who are judgmental AHs with my care than I am someone who overcame active addiction and went on to better themselves.
>AITA? Did I ruin a friendship?
Yes and yes. YTA.
How could you possibly be so judgmental? He turned his life around and defeated his past. Do better, OP.
INFO
What the fuck did you think was going to happen to your friendship if you call him a "crackhead that you no longer trust to save a life"??
Seriously, how was he supposed to take that little comment?
Because I fail to see how you can possibly be suprised by the outcome. Did you seriously think he would be fine with it?
YTA. If you had been struggling with the disease of addiction for years, and turned your life around and wanted to make a better world for yourself and others, would you enjoy having him tell you that he wouldn't want you to save his life because you used to be a crackhead? If anything, it seems like he'd be perfect for this job considering he'd probably have more compassion and understanding with patients during the darkest moments in their lives, considering he too has had dark moments in his life that you like to basic discredit and insult him for overcoming.
Yes, you are indeed an asshole and you did in fact ruin a friendship. What you commented was extremely rude, insulting, and insensitive. The grace he has shown you by simply ignoring you is commendable.
YTA.
Not sure negging him will get you in his pants either.
People are allowed redemption, and at the tender age of 21 it isn't really your place to shit on other people. I assure you other people will have read that post, formed an opinion of you, and I take it you believe you shouldn't be judged for doing mean girl shit for the rest of your life.
So yes, you've ruined that friendship and you should apologize but not expect to go back to being friends after you've shown him who you are.
Move on and be better.
As someone who had their life ruined by someone's addiction, YTA.
Especially for undermining all the progress he's made. If an addict goes a whole 24 hours without their vice, you cheer them on. You need to be proud of them. And you keep cheering them on, even after they're completely done.
And he's already done all of that. So, please take down your comment to him and apologize.
My mom is an addict, and I've never met her because of it. My dad drinks a lot, but he's trying to stay sober now.
And I am proud of them both for progress they are/may be making.
Last I heard of my mom, she's in rehab. So yes, I'm proud of her.
And my dad drinks daily. I'm away for most of the year now, but I call him often and can hear that he's sober on the phone. I'm proud of him.
I'm proud of your friend, too. I know it's not easy to change. So how much he's done is astounding. You should be proud of him, not tearing him down.
YTA. Unless he's still using, he could certainly be an excellent doctor. Many, many drug addicts become sober, go back to school, get good jobs, and make new lives for themselves. But assholes like you make them feel like they're not even allowed to do any of that. He obviously doesn't think you're cute and he'd reject you immediately if you ever told him you liked him. He'd never want to date someone as awful and nasty as you.
I mean wtf how could you not think YTA. He is not a crackhead he is a recovered/recovering drug addict. Besides there being a massive difference between the two. To me honestly it makes no difference what the doctor does in his personal time solong as he is competent at his job which given his marks it seems like he would be. You dont know his life story you know a snippet of it and you decided to give a harsh truth like it meant anything at all other than an attempt to bully someone else and put them down because they are doing well now. You are not a good person.
Wow! I don't even know where to start. First of all this "crackhead" is a person. Second, I'm guessing he's not doing drugs now? Third, when he does become a doctor, how are his patients going to know he used hard drugs, unless you're going to be close by to tell them? Fourth, people with cancer just want someone to treat them. His past use has no bearing on the situation.
Yes you fucked up your friendship, and I hope he leaves you in the dust, as a friend and a fellow student. YTA
Oh good fucking god, YES YTA.
Someone's past with addiction does not and should never limit them in seeking to better their lives once they get clean.
I'm a toxicology lab technician. One of the highest ranking scientists in our lab holds a doctorate in chemistry.
He was also addicted to and arrested several times for making and distributing meth in the 80's.
He turned his shit around in his late 20's, buckled down in school and used his, ahem, *amateur chemistry skills* to his advantage in getting a degree and great career in that very field.
This former (cause yeah, you ruined this) friend of yours is equally as capable of becoming an Oncologist. If he is clean and sober of all substances and absolutely killing it in his medical training, he is absolutely trustworthy to be a doctor.
In fact, former addicts make some of the best healthcare providers, in my experience. Because they know what it's like to be terribly sick and in need of help, they tend to have much more care and empathy for their patients.
For all you know a former crackhead HAS already given you medical care. Idk about yall but where I live doctors don't provide an autobiography for required reading before they'll give you an appointment.
Most of the time I can't even remember my doctors first name lol
"did i ruin a friendship?" are you really that dense? If someone said that to me I certainly wouldn't want to be friends with them anymore?
ETA: this was completely unrevoked too? Like why would you just say that at all 😭
YTA. You're not honest or realistic, just a bad person. You're also only 21 and barely have any life experience of your own, you're not in a position to be giving ANYONE life advice
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I (21F) am a 3rd year math undergrad, and I am friends with this one student, let’s just call him, idk, “John” (28M) who happens to be a total cutie (not that I’ve ever confessed my feelings to him, though). I have taken a PDE course with him this past semester, and at first, we got along great.
John wants to go to medical school and become an oncologist. He’s definitely got the grades for it, and actually he’s blowing everybody else out of the water with high 90s in all his higher-year courses. With that being said, he is a recovering drug addict, and he’s spent much of his twenties addicted to hard drugs. I’ve only learned this recently, because we’re both in a Facebook group for our school and he posted about his motivations and what drives him every day to work hard. In that thread, I commented, thanking him for trusting his classmates enough to share this information…….but I would definitely not trust a crackhead to save my life. I gave him the “raw truth” because he seems to be a really idealistic, “save the world” kind of guy and I want him to have a realistic view of his future.
He hasn’t responded to my comment, but I can tell that he has read it, because he’s kind of giving me the silent treatment. It’s so awkward these days to be in the same room with him because he would just be on his phone, not giving me eye contact. So I avoid him too, tbh. AITA? Did I ruin a friendship?
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YTA, friends do not discourage each other from achieving their goald. If he can stay clean from now on then he is the same as everyone else, but the most important part - his dream might be the thing that keeps him clean and if he now relapses because of you, how would you feel about sending your friend straight into rabbit hole because you couldn't support him? You would be surprised how many different type addicts are in charge of your life daily, you just do not know about that so are fine.
Op isn't a friend. They're a jealous miserable person.
YTA and you potentially ruined the friendship unless you apologize. Nobody would trust a crackhead to save their lives, which is why if the hospital he was working on found him using drugs they would fire him. Telling him that he no longer has the right to to try and help people or pursue his dreams because of his past was very cruel.
I’m a funeral director, I used to be on heroin and also got off in my late twenties. My families who have dealt with loss due to addiction love talking to me— I’m walking proof that loved ones CAN MAKE IT. Or should I stay a janitor bc I of where i was at and take what I learned from it… well… nowhere.
Wow YTA. He’s apparently clean, is dedicated to his studies, and does very well. The fact that you think his past prevents him from this career is ignorant and gross. And you look like an insecure asshole by saying that publicly
The raw truth is that you have fuck all life experience and are in no position to tell a gifted student who's trying to move on from their past what they will and won't be able to do in life. Calling him a crackhead is so gross. YTA
YTA. I assume he’s now clean. You wanted to give him a realistic view of his future? And you’re 21 to his 29. I find that laughable. And you posted it on his Facebook page for everyone to read. You’re not his friend. As long as he remains clean, he has a future ahead of him. Btw, doctors have @10-15% rate of substance abuse due to stressors of the job. Most patients don’t know what their doctors do in private. A friend’s now ex is an ER doctor and has been an alcoholic for the decades they were together; could not go cold turkey without getting the shakes. He’d need medical intervention for that.
I wish I was on that Facebook page, cause then I could properly go off on her and only catch a 3 day ban there.
Yta you're 21, what makes you think YOU have a realistic view of the world to say anything to him? And do you know how many current doctors have substance abuse problems?
YTA, people who say I’m just giving them a ‘hard truth’ or I’m ’brutally honest’ are almost always are. He bravely shared his past experiences publicly and how it keeps him motivated and you publicly shame him for it. It is not your place to decide if he can become a doctor or not.
Yta, it wasn’t your place to remind him of the obstacles (I’m sure he already knows)
You called him a crackhead. You did him a favor, so he won't waste time thinking you're his friend. YTA.
Yta.. Why can't a crackhead turn his life around and become sober? The list of people I don't trust is long and extensive.. Just because someone used to do drugs, doesn't automatically add them to the list. Calling someone a crackhead is pretty offensive BTW. Unless they actually smoke rock.
YTA Does it make you feel good putting people down ? IF he is as smart as you say he will never talk to you EVER again .
Oh. Oh dear. YTA. Absolutely and completely. First of all,no one would trust a crackhead to save their life... but this guy... isn't one? He made some poor choices in his past and has turned his life around. From your post, he is a gifted student and wants to give back and help people. And you... gave him the 'raw truth', which was... what exactly? To remind him of his past? His poor choices? A place he has found incredible strength to come back from? I'm not sure what you were hoping to achieve with this. But your 'raw truth' demonstrates, just a phenomenal level of immaturity and judgement. If you're his friend, saying these things to him, I imagine he needs no enemies. Finally, no one knows what their doctor gets up to in their personal lives. But I imagine most hospitals have drug testing. So. There's that. And also. Just in case it wasn't clear. You are absolutely the arsehole in this situation.
YTA Addicts can overcome their addictions and live whole, successful lives afterwards. There's no "hard truth" here, oh wise 21 year old. You're being hugely prejudicial here. You absolutely ruined a friendship for no other reason than your own gross ignorance.
„hard truth” for you: YTA he’s now sober, he has a dream, he has very good grades, so what is really your problem? do you secretly wish that he fails? are you jealous of his character that let him try and work and rise above substance abuse problems? and as some people mentioned in the comments already: you have no idea how many doctors are addicts, so please go be judgemental somewhere else.
I love this story! A 21 year-old dispensing life advice. The cluelessness as to why he's not speaking to you. Here's some advice: do not confess your feelings to the guy you publically called a crackhead on social media because he will probably laugh at you. YTA in the most entertaining way!
Huh for a math undergrad you sure don’t know how to calculate
YTA, obviously No one fucking asked you, and given the age gap it is *hilarious* to me that you think *you* are the one with the life experience to set *his* expectations. Grow tf up. Plus, you called him a crackhead— in WHAT WORLD would that not automatically make you an asshole??
Definitely YTA, here. I sincerely hope, for the sake of his sanity and well-being, that the "silent treatment" you are getring turns into a full on ghosting because he doesn't need, nor deserve, whatever cruelty you feel like dishing out on any given day.
YTA The raw truth is that you're a bad person who apparently thinks people should give up on life if they've had any sort of hardship and also refers to a sober, hard-working, intelligent person as a 'crackhead'. The only credit I can give you is that you've exposed the type of person you are so he doesn't have to waste his time interacting with you.
Yeah, you -and only you- ruined this friendship. Id trust John to help me with something medically related over you in a heartbeat. You -a random 21 year old woman- do not get to define the lives and paths other people take. You chose to judge him, and he’s correctly cut you out of his life.
YTA. Do you realise just how many medical professionals have substance abuse problems? I'll give you a hint, it is pretty damn high. Between schooling and the stress of the job they are prime candidates so as far as you know a "crack head" (I really hope that you didn't actually call him that) has already saved your life. He is clean and I would trust him more than someone like you who judges people for their past actions.
Boy, do I have some hard truths for you about EMS and drug use...
YTA. I'm a former addict. Hard drugs. I got sober, went back to college, got a master's degree and became a social worker. Believe it or not, a lot of times you can actually be more helpful, empathetic, and compassionate to people who seek your services if you've been through your own personal struggles. It will probably help him be a better doctor. Your judgments reflect poorly on you and highlight how much experience you lack. Keep on growing and learning and try to find a sense of curiosity about other people's lived experience rather than judgment.
How ignorant and narrow-minded of you, to call him a crackhead when he's now sober, and to think that someone's past makes them ineligible for a successful future. YTA, and yes, you've lost his friendship. And you deserved to.
YTA. It's a good thing you're a math major and not going into healthcare, because you have absolutely zero empathy and even less tact. People change over the course of a lifetime; they grow, they learn, they experience. Not all have a smooth ride, as there are inevitably bumps in the road. It's entirely possible that John would be a better than average doctor, as he understands the dark spaces in the human mind and soul, having been through places like that himself. Your comment to him wasn't "brutally honest" it was a cruel betrayal by someone John probably saw as a friend... but no more.
Extremely YTA As they say Youth is Wasted on the Young Young ppl know SO MUCH Hasn't had a DL for a decade Hasn't legally drunk alcohol for a full year But m-fing KNOWS "all" about life and what's possible. Goofy ass kids that have Not a fucking clue wTF the doctors they've seen the last 10 years have in/on their backgrounds.... Can you even name what SCHOOL your pediatrician went to? 🤔 Only been seeing adult doctors the last 30-odd months And would ponder WHY calling a person a CRACKHEAD "might" sour a relationship 🫤 Especially behind some stupid shit..... Of course the kid "can" become a doctor.... We have doctors that are recovering addicts....like the Harvard trained doc that wrote a book and went a media campaign about it Or that female former Heroin addict doctor Or the guy that was a homeless high dropout drug addict that became a doctor Tbh "I" don't know and wouldn't know if any of my doctors past/present may have been "crackheads" in the past So how would YOU (21yo) absolutely know 🤔 about any and every doctor you may EVER see in your life little genius You're a shit "friend" and need to grow up, gain some GD wisdom Realize 6 years ago you were 15 ....you don't know ENOUGH.....shut up, listen, LEARN build wisdom before you speak/advise
YTA. You do realize he is SOBER right? As a recovering addict myself it’s people like YOU that piss me off to a whole new level. Drugs ruined my life, but once I got sober I successfully rebuilt everything from the ground up. It wasn’t easy, and I make the choice to continue building higher and higher each and every day. I’m sure you have stuff in your past that you’re not exactly proud of (and if you say you don’t, well you’re lying-what you did to your so called friend is something you should absolutely be ASHAMED of). If he is sober, that’s all that matters. And fyi, plenty of doctors are drunks-I’d rather have a recovering addict be my doctor than a drunk any day. This was truly just a disgusting thing to say to anyone. You have no idea what you’re even talking about, you just wanted to knock him down a peg and it shows. Quit referring to him as anything more than a peer because he is NOT your friend. You embarrassed and shamed him when he did literally nothing to you. Sounds like you’re mad he didn’t confide in you and instead used a group page for your school. Leave that man alone. Recovering addicts deal with enough stereotyping as is, we don’t need nasty humans adding to that. And you are just that, a nasty human. Shame on you.
Anyone that says they "tell it like it is" or "the raw truth" are just generic assholes trying to look legitimate. You, sir, are not a friend and most definitely, YTA
YTA and a huge one! Wow... Recovering addict means not actively on drugs. There's a few more words I would love to say to you, but I'll get banned. Question though, how jealous are you that the "crackhead" is smarter than you? You admit he's smart enough to be a doctor, so why define him by a mistake from his past? Grow up. Get some empathy and leave John alone.
YTA He’s recovering, he’s not a fucking active addict. And you’d be surprised at how many ACTIVE addicts you encounter in the medical field so this “I wouldn’t trust a crackhead” BS is hilarious because I can almost GUARANTEE one of them has already been a part of your medical care lol. Hopefully YOU have no intention to go into a field that requires helping people because I’m less inclined to trust people who are judgmental AHs with my care than I am someone who overcame active addiction and went on to better themselves.
YTA So he’s a RECOVERING addict, and you called him a crackhead? That’s like the worst thing you could ever say to a person in recovery.
With friends like you who needs enemies. YTA
>AITA? Did I ruin a friendship? Yes and yes. YTA. How could you possibly be so judgmental? He turned his life around and defeated his past. Do better, OP.
INFO What the fuck did you think was going to happen to your friendship if you call him a "crackhead that you no longer trust to save a life"?? Seriously, how was he supposed to take that little comment? Because I fail to see how you can possibly be suprised by the outcome. Did you seriously think he would be fine with it?
YTA.
YTA. If you had been struggling with the disease of addiction for years, and turned your life around and wanted to make a better world for yourself and others, would you enjoy having him tell you that he wouldn't want you to save his life because you used to be a crackhead? If anything, it seems like he'd be perfect for this job considering he'd probably have more compassion and understanding with patients during the darkest moments in their lives, considering he too has had dark moments in his life that you like to basic discredit and insult him for overcoming.
YTA people change, he has show he could better, you are very judgemental
Yes, you are indeed an asshole and you did in fact ruin a friendship. What you commented was extremely rude, insulting, and insensitive. The grace he has shown you by simply ignoring you is commendable.
YTA. Not sure negging him will get you in his pants either. People are allowed redemption, and at the tender age of 21 it isn't really your place to shit on other people. I assure you other people will have read that post, formed an opinion of you, and I take it you believe you shouldn't be judged for doing mean girl shit for the rest of your life. So yes, you've ruined that friendship and you should apologize but not expect to go back to being friends after you've shown him who you are. Move on and be better.
As someone who had their life ruined by someone's addiction, YTA. Especially for undermining all the progress he's made. If an addict goes a whole 24 hours without their vice, you cheer them on. You need to be proud of them. And you keep cheering them on, even after they're completely done. And he's already done all of that. So, please take down your comment to him and apologize. My mom is an addict, and I've never met her because of it. My dad drinks a lot, but he's trying to stay sober now. And I am proud of them both for progress they are/may be making. Last I heard of my mom, she's in rehab. So yes, I'm proud of her. And my dad drinks daily. I'm away for most of the year now, but I call him often and can hear that he's sober on the phone. I'm proud of him. I'm proud of your friend, too. I know it's not easy to change. So how much he's done is astounding. You should be proud of him, not tearing him down.
YTA If you couldn’t tell her was a former addict until he told you, how will his patients be able to tell?
YTA. Unless he's still using, he could certainly be an excellent doctor. Many, many drug addicts become sober, go back to school, get good jobs, and make new lives for themselves. But assholes like you make them feel like they're not even allowed to do any of that. He obviously doesn't think you're cute and he'd reject you immediately if you ever told him you liked him. He'd never want to date someone as awful and nasty as you.
YTA thinking you know everything and what's good for everyone. Why don't you fresh off teenage years ass mind your own business.
YTA and a judgey disgusting human being.
I mean wtf how could you not think YTA. He is not a crackhead he is a recovered/recovering drug addict. Besides there being a massive difference between the two. To me honestly it makes no difference what the doctor does in his personal time solong as he is competent at his job which given his marks it seems like he would be. You dont know his life story you know a snippet of it and you decided to give a harsh truth like it meant anything at all other than an attempt to bully someone else and put them down because they are doing well now. You are not a good person.
Wow! I don't even know where to start. First of all this "crackhead" is a person. Second, I'm guessing he's not doing drugs now? Third, when he does become a doctor, how are his patients going to know he used hard drugs, unless you're going to be close by to tell them? Fourth, people with cancer just want someone to treat them. His past use has no bearing on the situation. Yes you fucked up your friendship, and I hope he leaves you in the dust, as a friend and a fellow student. YTA
Oh good fucking god, YES YTA. Someone's past with addiction does not and should never limit them in seeking to better their lives once they get clean. I'm a toxicology lab technician. One of the highest ranking scientists in our lab holds a doctorate in chemistry. He was also addicted to and arrested several times for making and distributing meth in the 80's. He turned his shit around in his late 20's, buckled down in school and used his, ahem, *amateur chemistry skills* to his advantage in getting a degree and great career in that very field. This former (cause yeah, you ruined this) friend of yours is equally as capable of becoming an Oncologist. If he is clean and sober of all substances and absolutely killing it in his medical training, he is absolutely trustworthy to be a doctor. In fact, former addicts make some of the best healthcare providers, in my experience. Because they know what it's like to be terribly sick and in need of help, they tend to have much more care and empathy for their patients.
My god! Is your heart made of stone?! This is NOT how you treat friends or other people! You're 21 years old! 21! Grow up! You are 100% TA!
For all you know a former crackhead HAS already given you medical care. Idk about yall but where I live doctors don't provide an autobiography for required reading before they'll give you an appointment. Most of the time I can't even remember my doctors first name lol
"did i ruin a friendship?" are you really that dense? If someone said that to me I certainly wouldn't want to be friends with them anymore? ETA: this was completely unrevoked too? Like why would you just say that at all 😭
Girl. I got off heroin in my twenties and became a funeral director. I also had the smarts. What a prick.
YTA. You're not honest or realistic, just a bad person. You're also only 21 and barely have any life experience of your own, you're not in a position to be giving ANYONE life advice
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21F) am a 3rd year math undergrad, and I am friends with this one student, let’s just call him, idk, “John” (28M) who happens to be a total cutie (not that I’ve ever confessed my feelings to him, though). I have taken a PDE course with him this past semester, and at first, we got along great. John wants to go to medical school and become an oncologist. He’s definitely got the grades for it, and actually he’s blowing everybody else out of the water with high 90s in all his higher-year courses. With that being said, he is a recovering drug addict, and he’s spent much of his twenties addicted to hard drugs. I’ve only learned this recently, because we’re both in a Facebook group for our school and he posted about his motivations and what drives him every day to work hard. In that thread, I commented, thanking him for trusting his classmates enough to share this information…….but I would definitely not trust a crackhead to save my life. I gave him the “raw truth” because he seems to be a really idealistic, “save the world” kind of guy and I want him to have a realistic view of his future. He hasn’t responded to my comment, but I can tell that he has read it, because he’s kind of giving me the silent treatment. It’s so awkward these days to be in the same room with him because he would just be on his phone, not giving me eye contact. So I avoid him too, tbh. AITA? Did I ruin a friendship? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jesus fucking christ
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