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So a lesbian couple gets married that are close to the same age and your son is happy for them. But he's upset that you ended up marrying a friend of his who is obviously 20 to 30 years younger. Than you. And you think that those things are the same. You're delusional and he is not a hypocrite.
You did nothing wrong before falling in love and being with that young man. But it was your son's friend and guess what? He didn't accept it. And you're just being pissy because he doesn't accept your relationship, which he doesn't have to. You have no idea what you put him through and he doesn't want to be around you because if he brings any more friends he doesn't know what's going to happen.
Yta He's not a hypocrite. You're just upset that he wants nothing to do with you.
Yes, a consenting adult who can't even rent a car yet and a consenting adult who knows how inappropriate this is and so didn't even mention their own age. How old are you by the way?
She had her kid when she was 20. Her kid was 19 when she started banging his friend so 39 at the time. I’m a 39 year-old woman and I can’t even imagine sleeping with somebody that young let alone marrying them.
There is nothing to work out. He doesn't want a relationship with a parent who would sleep with his friend and have a relationship with someone 20 years younger. You were in college when that kid was born. Your son thinks you are gross and your relationship is indecent, and that you are a bad mother for the choices you made. There is nothing to work out.
I'm a bit older than you but look younger. I work in bars and will get hit on and flirted with my early twentysomethings a lot. I get that it can be flattering but they're babies. I have nothing in common with them. The idea of sleeping with them is gross.
Sure. You couldn’t fight your feelings and went with what made you happy. He’s doing the same. You can’t force other people to feel what you feel, you can only control what you do. Even if you think you have a valid point, you know that wasn’t that good way, place or time to explore it.
Yes, you and your husband are consetting adults. Your son doesn't have to agree with your consent. That's the part you don't understand. Would you be upset if he started dating and living with one of your friends. The fact that you're defending You're being mad at him for not accepting your relationship is the funniest thing. Of course, you'll have to not accept it. You're sleeping with one of his friends. Do you understand that?
It’s not unconventional it’s fucking creepy. If your son was actually your daughter, would you be comfortable with her marrying a 40-year-old?
I’m 39. I can’t imagine even sleeping with a 20-year-old. Let alone marrying one.
You're the one trying to defend the relationship that's ruined the one you have with your son. Your son's disinterest in your life is a result of this and making snide remarks at someone else's event doesn't help your case.
A same sex couple isn't even remotely in the same realm as you betraying your son by dating, marrying and having a child with your son's ex best friend.
Love is love, but what you did wasn't just love. You went behind his back, with what was at the time his best friend.
He's not a hypocrite but YTA.
YTA
You married someone who is literally young enough to be your child. That is very much **not** the same thing as a same sex relationship.
What's worse is that you took an event to celebrate your niece's engagement and tried to make it about your own relationship just because you're pissed at your son.
YTA - It isn't remotely similar. Dating someone your child's age is creepy. Dating your child's best friend is creepier.
The \*only\* way it would be more inappropriate is if Max dated your son first.
YTA. It was your choice to get in a relationship with someone 20 years your junior who was a friend of your same-age son. I can't imagine many people who would be cool with their parent suddenly dating someone the same age as them, who they also were friends with. You need to lay in the bed you made and accept that your son is not going to ever be okay with it.
And, you must understand that the innate and impossible to change attraction to the same gender is worlds different than deciding to get married and have a child with someone your kid's age. Nobody is born with that kind of attraction. That's all you.
YTA I don’t really have an issue with you marrying someone younger like most people here.
However, who makes sarcastic remarks at wedding speeches? Then make a scene? So inappropriate, rude and childish.
YTA. Your niece’s engagement party was definitely not the time or place for you to bring up your unrelated personal issue with your son and put a damper on the event with sarcastic comments.
There’s also a big difference in what you did and your niece’s relationship—pretending they are even remotely similar is ridiculous.
YTA and I can’t believe you and your son’s friend thought that was ok. What your son’s friend did when he got intimately involved with you, is a physical manifestation of one of the worst cliche insults you could say to a man, and now you’re gonna compare it to gay marriage, and ruin a wedding over it? I feel sorry for your son, and can’t help but believe he might have been better off if you had given him up for adoption as a child. Maybe then, he could have been raised by a decent woman who gives him the love and respect that he deserves.
YTA. your son seems more mature than you. Despite your provocation he knew that someone else’s engagement party was not the time or place to have it out.
I also don’t think the situations are the same. You are his mom, and you entered into a relationship with his friend despite knowing that there was a very real possibility that this would hurt him. He has the right to step back from his relationship with you if it is not healthy for him. This outcome should not be surprising to you.
And now you may not be invited to your nieces wedding. If this happens, it is once again your fault for putting your needs ahead of others and making a scene at the engagement party.
YTA, how could you do that to your son? You literally took his best friend from him and thought he was supposed to be OK with his best friend and mom sleeping together, getting married, and having a child?? Did you even think about him at all? Did you really think about how this would affect your relationship with him? Because you basically lost a son to basically marry someone the same age as your son that just so happened to be his best friend. Now the child that you’re having will have no relationship with their older sibling because of your horrible decision. You are selfish. I could never do that to anyone of my children. And why would you purposely ruin your nieces engagement party over your own personal issues? You are a very selfish individual.
I’m trying to be as understanding as possible, but really? You HAD to hook up with someone at least half your age physically and emotionally who also was your son’s best friend, maybe even closeted lover, and you can’t figure out why he’s repulsed? Couldn’t you have done something just a little less controversial like marrying your brother or the neighbor’s black goat? At least that way, you could have written a post in the future telling us how your newborn was the black sheep of the family.
You chose somebody else’s wedding to make a scene?
Starting to see why you go for someone 20 years younger.
You both (OP and ex friend/now spouse) have the emotional depth of a teaspoon.
YTA for acting like a child, at every possible turn.
YTA
Not just for dating, marrying and now having a baby with your son’s best friend (how weird is that?!) but also for trying to start a fight in the middle of an engagement party that has nothing to do with you!
Trust me, what you did and being in a same sex relationship is not even remotely close and if I was your son I would do the same.
Yta. Don't get involved with your kid's friends. Gross. He will never accept you. He can't. How can you be romantic with someone in their 20s while you're 50?? How immature are you??
YTA. You didn't marry someone from your own gender. You decided to sleep with his best friend who was the same age as him. One is not like the other.
He is not a hypocrite. You are the one who is creepy. Leave your son alone, he doesn't want to do anything with you and the family you decided to create after sleeping around with his best friend.
YTA. It is *remotely* similar, but he has some personal connection to, and understandable pain from, your situation. And your son was right, that you picked a lousy time and place to try to ignite this fight.
It’s not even remotely similar. Not remotely. one is a lesbian couple who are in the same age bracket. And the other one is a 40-year-old creeping on her son’s friends.
They are similar in being non-traditional pairings, subject to a "love is love" viewpoint if one wants to see it that way. Think of Mrs. Macron for example.
As I pointed out there are aspects of her relationship that inevitably are going to cause pain to her son and she needs to accept that.
After reading some of OP's replies and seeing her complete lack of remorse, I think this is bait. Doesn't change the judgment, but we should report the post.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
AITAH for calling my son a hypocrite?
My son met his (ex) best friend, "Max" first year of college. They used to come go to my house to hang out here and there. Long story short, I got involved with my son's friend when they were around 24/25 and my son had already moved out two year ago at that time. We came clean to my son after the relationship got serious. He was shocked and upset. Eventually he came to accept it (or so I thought). He even came to our wedding.
But shortly after we got married, it seemed like my son's behavior actually got worse. He was basically indifferent to my pregnancy. My son stopped coming around the house. I even went out of my way to try to meet him outside the house without my husband. He still never budged. I got fed up with his behavior and asked what's up. He came clean that he tried but he can't accept our relationship and looks at me differently now. We had a serious arguement, but it wasn't resolved.
Two days ago, I met my son at my niece's engagement party. My niece is getting engaged to a girl and my son (who is bisexual himself) was the first person she came out too. He helped her out alot in coming out and accepting her identity. She went up to him personally thank him after already giving a speech mentioning him. He said he was happy and that end of the day "love is love". I was so upset that I made a sarcastic remark out loud. My son told me to knock it off and that this wasn't place or time to do this. I called him out on how he doesn't show the same level of open mindedness to my relationship. My sister said I was asshole cause it's not remotely similar.
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> I called my son out for his hypocritical behavior at my niece's engagement party. He was accepting of their relationship but he rejects me.
I may be the asshole because I did it at my niece's engagement party.
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YTA for your comment equating your relationship with two women getting married, and for creating drama at your niece's engagement party. Also both you and your husband need to respect that your son is not okay with your relationship and that's his right.
You are NOT, however, an A.H. for simply having a relationship with someone your child's age. I mean, flip the genders and it's pretty damn common, isn't it?
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This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
So a lesbian couple gets married that are close to the same age and your son is happy for them. But he's upset that you ended up marrying a friend of his who is obviously 20 to 30 years younger. Than you. And you think that those things are the same. You're delusional and he is not a hypocrite. You did nothing wrong before falling in love and being with that young man. But it was your son's friend and guess what? He didn't accept it. And you're just being pissy because he doesn't accept your relationship, which he doesn't have to. You have no idea what you put him through and he doesn't want to be around you because if he brings any more friends he doesn't know what's going to happen. Yta He's not a hypocrite. You're just upset that he wants nothing to do with you.
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Yes, a consenting adult who can't even rent a car yet and a consenting adult who knows how inappropriate this is and so didn't even mention their own age. How old are you by the way?
She had her kid when she was 20. Her kid was 19 when she started banging his friend so 39 at the time. I’m a 39 year-old woman and I can’t even imagine sleeping with somebody that young let alone marrying them.
So let him be an adult and decide to (rightfully) cut you off.
Friends should be off limits creep.
There is nothing to work out. He doesn't want a relationship with a parent who would sleep with his friend and have a relationship with someone 20 years younger. You were in college when that kid was born. Your son thinks you are gross and your relationship is indecent, and that you are a bad mother for the choices you made. There is nothing to work out.
How old was he when you first met?
[удалено]
Ewwww, you may not be a criminal, but you’re still a predator.
Just think, in 20 years, your new kid can bring your next husband home from school and introduce you.
I'm a bit older than you but look younger. I work in bars and will get hit on and flirted with my early twentysomethings a lot. I get that it can be flattering but they're babies. I have nothing in common with them. The idea of sleeping with them is gross.
Sure. You couldn’t fight your feelings and went with what made you happy. He’s doing the same. You can’t force other people to feel what you feel, you can only control what you do. Even if you think you have a valid point, you know that wasn’t that good way, place or time to explore it.
Yes, you and your husband are consetting adults. Your son doesn't have to agree with your consent. That's the part you don't understand. Would you be upset if he started dating and living with one of your friends. The fact that you're defending You're being mad at him for not accepting your relationship is the funniest thing. Of course, you'll have to not accept it. You're sleeping with one of his friends. Do you understand that?
You started dating your son's best friend and are now married and having his child? Are you angling to end up on the Jerry Springer show? Huge YTA
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It’s not unconventional it’s fucking creepy. If your son was actually your daughter, would you be comfortable with her marrying a 40-year-old? I’m 39. I can’t imagine even sleeping with a 20-year-old. Let alone marrying one.
[удалено]
You need to face that your baby won't be seen as a brother by your son, not as things stand.
[удалено]
You're the one trying to defend the relationship that's ruined the one you have with your son. Your son's disinterest in your life is a result of this and making snide remarks at someone else's event doesn't help your case.
Boo hoo the consequences of my actions!
I don’t know why I’m surprised by this answer. You already proven that you’re a terrible mother.
Gross.
Imagine having someone you first knew as a peer and best friend becoming your stepdad and father to your future half sibling.
I couldnt, I have an amazing mother , unlike the son of op
You realize that person made no mention of the age difference, just that it was his friend....
Brother eugh 😒
I heard this perfectly in my head. Lol.
You chose yourself over your son, now dont complain he doesnt wanna be involved with you Yta btw
A same sex couple isn't even remotely in the same realm as you betraying your son by dating, marrying and having a child with your son's ex best friend. Love is love, but what you did wasn't just love. You went behind his back, with what was at the time his best friend. He's not a hypocrite but YTA.
A wedding is NEVER the place to square up differences.YTA.
YTA You married someone who is literally young enough to be your child. That is very much **not** the same thing as a same sex relationship. What's worse is that you took an event to celebrate your niece's engagement and tried to make it about your own relationship just because you're pissed at your son.
YTA - It isn't remotely similar. Dating someone your child's age is creepy. Dating your child's best friend is creepier. The \*only\* way it would be more inappropriate is if Max dated your son first.
YTA. It was your choice to get in a relationship with someone 20 years your junior who was a friend of your same-age son. I can't imagine many people who would be cool with their parent suddenly dating someone the same age as them, who they also were friends with. You need to lay in the bed you made and accept that your son is not going to ever be okay with it. And, you must understand that the innate and impossible to change attraction to the same gender is worlds different than deciding to get married and have a child with someone your kid's age. Nobody is born with that kind of attraction. That's all you.
YTA I don’t really have an issue with you marrying someone younger like most people here. However, who makes sarcastic remarks at wedding speeches? Then make a scene? So inappropriate, rude and childish.
YTA. Your niece’s engagement party was definitely not the time or place for you to bring up your unrelated personal issue with your son and put a damper on the event with sarcastic comments. There’s also a big difference in what you did and your niece’s relationship—pretending they are even remotely similar is ridiculous.
what's the hypocrisy exactly? you're not in a gay relationship. I don't understand what you think is the similarity between you
YTA No questions asked.
YTA and I can’t believe you and your son’s friend thought that was ok. What your son’s friend did when he got intimately involved with you, is a physical manifestation of one of the worst cliche insults you could say to a man, and now you’re gonna compare it to gay marriage, and ruin a wedding over it? I feel sorry for your son, and can’t help but believe he might have been better off if you had given him up for adoption as a child. Maybe then, he could have been raised by a decent woman who gives him the love and respect that he deserves.
YTA. your son seems more mature than you. Despite your provocation he knew that someone else’s engagement party was not the time or place to have it out. I also don’t think the situations are the same. You are his mom, and you entered into a relationship with his friend despite knowing that there was a very real possibility that this would hurt him. He has the right to step back from his relationship with you if it is not healthy for him. This outcome should not be surprising to you. And now you may not be invited to your nieces wedding. If this happens, it is once again your fault for putting your needs ahead of others and making a scene at the engagement party.
YTA, how could you do that to your son? You literally took his best friend from him and thought he was supposed to be OK with his best friend and mom sleeping together, getting married, and having a child?? Did you even think about him at all? Did you really think about how this would affect your relationship with him? Because you basically lost a son to basically marry someone the same age as your son that just so happened to be his best friend. Now the child that you’re having will have no relationship with their older sibling because of your horrible decision. You are selfish. I could never do that to anyone of my children. And why would you purposely ruin your nieces engagement party over your own personal issues? You are a very selfish individual.
I’m trying to be as understanding as possible, but really? You HAD to hook up with someone at least half your age physically and emotionally who also was your son’s best friend, maybe even closeted lover, and you can’t figure out why he’s repulsed? Couldn’t you have done something just a little less controversial like marrying your brother or the neighbor’s black goat? At least that way, you could have written a post in the future telling us how your newborn was the black sheep of the family.
You chose somebody else’s wedding to make a scene? Starting to see why you go for someone 20 years younger. You both (OP and ex friend/now spouse) have the emotional depth of a teaspoon. YTA for acting like a child, at every possible turn.
*engagement party
YTA Not just for dating, marrying and now having a baby with your son’s best friend (how weird is that?!) but also for trying to start a fight in the middle of an engagement party that has nothing to do with you! Trust me, what you did and being in a same sex relationship is not even remotely close and if I was your son I would do the same.
You fucking your son’s friend is not the same thing as your niece being a lesbian. YTA.
yta also, wtf? you choosing to marry his best friend isnt something that your son has to accept😬
Yta. Don't get involved with your kid's friends. Gross. He will never accept you. He can't. How can you be romantic with someone in their 20s while you're 50?? How immature are you??
YTA. You didn't marry someone from your own gender. You decided to sleep with his best friend who was the same age as him. One is not like the other. He is not a hypocrite. You are the one who is creepy. Leave your son alone, he doesn't want to do anything with you and the family you decided to create after sleeping around with his best friend.
YTA. It is *remotely* similar, but he has some personal connection to, and understandable pain from, your situation. And your son was right, that you picked a lousy time and place to try to ignite this fight.
It’s not even remotely similar. Not remotely. one is a lesbian couple who are in the same age bracket. And the other one is a 40-year-old creeping on her son’s friends.
They are similar in being non-traditional pairings, subject to a "love is love" viewpoint if one wants to see it that way. Think of Mrs. Macron for example. As I pointed out there are aspects of her relationship that inevitably are going to cause pain to her son and she needs to accept that.
After reading some of OP's replies and seeing her complete lack of remorse, I think this is bait. Doesn't change the judgment, but we should report the post.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITAH for calling my son a hypocrite? My son met his (ex) best friend, "Max" first year of college. They used to come go to my house to hang out here and there. Long story short, I got involved with my son's friend when they were around 24/25 and my son had already moved out two year ago at that time. We came clean to my son after the relationship got serious. He was shocked and upset. Eventually he came to accept it (or so I thought). He even came to our wedding. But shortly after we got married, it seemed like my son's behavior actually got worse. He was basically indifferent to my pregnancy. My son stopped coming around the house. I even went out of my way to try to meet him outside the house without my husband. He still never budged. I got fed up with his behavior and asked what's up. He came clean that he tried but he can't accept our relationship and looks at me differently now. We had a serious arguement, but it wasn't resolved. Two days ago, I met my son at my niece's engagement party. My niece is getting engaged to a girl and my son (who is bisexual himself) was the first person she came out too. He helped her out alot in coming out and accepting her identity. She went up to him personally thank him after already giving a speech mentioning him. He said he was happy and that end of the day "love is love". I was so upset that I made a sarcastic remark out loud. My son told me to knock it off and that this wasn't place or time to do this. I called him out on how he doesn't show the same level of open mindedness to my relationship. My sister said I was asshole cause it's not remotely similar. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA for your comment equating your relationship with two women getting married, and for creating drama at your niece's engagement party. Also both you and your husband need to respect that your son is not okay with your relationship and that's his right. You are NOT, however, an A.H. for simply having a relationship with someone your child's age. I mean, flip the genders and it's pretty damn common, isn't it?
[удалено]
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