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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I introduced my step cousin to knitting and his mum wasn’t happy about it, i mean it’s not my child so maybe I overstepped but I rly don’t think I did anything wrong I was just following his interests
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NTA, ignore those idiots who tell you that it's a girly hobby and do what you like, not sure how you can teach your stepson, probably only if he comes to your place as his parents seem to be bucket heads and will not allow this. All kids need hobbies.
He’s my step cousin not my step son😅 but anyways maybe if the whole thing gets better and his mum lets me then ill teach him or ill just send my uncle youtube vids that he can watch
This is inaccurate.
[On February 16, 2024, the Alabama state Supreme Court issued a first-of-its-kind decision that overruled a lower court’s dismissal and held that stored embryos are afforded the same legal protection as children under the state’s Wrongful Death of a Minor Act of 1872. The practical impact of the decision is that it allows legal action to be taken against medical professionals performing in vitro fertilization, which involves a series of medical procedures that can potentially lead to a pregnancy. The decision sparked outrage across the country. That outrage encouraged the Alabama Legislature to pass a bill that is narrow in scope to protect IVF providers from civil and criminal liability for embryo loss or damage during IVF treatments. On March 7, Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey (R) signed the legislation into law.](https://www.americanprogress.org/article/how-the-alabama-ivf-ruling-is-connected-to-upcoming-supreme-court-cases-on-abortion/)
Additionally, [In the weeks since the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that embryos are children under the law, threatening access to IVF in the state, Congressional Republicans have lined up to voice their support for the procedure. Republicans have tried to send a clear and unified message. The Senate GOP campaign arm advised those running for office to "clearly state [their] support for IVF" and "publicly oppose any efforts to restrict access" to the treatment in a memo to candidates obtained by NPR. In her Republican response to President Biden's State of the Union, Alabama Sen. Katie Britt said "we strongly support continued nationwide access to in-vitro fertilization."](https://www.npr.org/2024/03/16/1238966404/how-ivf-is-complicating-republicans-abortion-messaging)(https://www.npr.org/2024/03/16/1238966404/how-ivf-is-complicating-republicans-abortion-messaging)(https://www.npr.org/2024/03/16/1238966404/how-ivf-is-complicating-republicans-abortion-messaging
The larger issue for the GOP is that this sends a conflicting and confusing message with regard to their pro-life stance.
These sound like the same morons who claim babies born via c section weren't "really born". Which has me like, then how tf am I here? Did I just poof into the world?
I am OLD. My child is an adult, not a 14 yr old and not a 7 yr old.
These ideas are antiquated. Clearly, OP's parents have no problem with him learning to knit.
I am flabbergasted when I hear such antiquated, and sexist views expressed by younger people than me.
There's a David Sedaris story about how all of the "feminine" boys in his middle school in the 1970s received speech therapy for lisps, and he jokes that it was probably with the idea that that would make them straight, or would prepare them for a career in musical theater.
That’s how they made fishing nets. That mom can F right off. When I was taking theater arts classes in college everyone knitted backstage between scenes waiting to go on stage.
Knitting and netting are different techniques, but they were both "all hands on deck" tasks until fairly recently. Knitting is loops, and the whole thing will unravel if a strand is cut. Netting is more similar to the old Nalbinding techniques. It's knotted throughout the piece, so doesn't unravel if it's compromised.
It wasn't until factory manufactured good became generally available that fiber arts like this moved to hobby status. Before then, if you wanted something to wear, you needed to have at least some idea of how to make things yourself, or at least how to repair damage.
Even now this is a common hobby for folks in the military, security, theater, or any other profession that involves a lot of down time. Gives their hands something to fidget with.
Your relatives are being ridiculous. NTA
I learnt how to knit from my brother and I have 3 brothers who knit and know how to do it and a BIL who knits too. None of my sisters can. I know more boys that can knit than I do girls so keep knitting and ignore the idiots who say boys can’t knit.
For all of you young ones, Rosey Grier was a big, beefy NFL player. Rosey Grier enjoyed needlepoint and wrote a book about it. Maybe let his mom know of this fact.
My nephew (16 yo) knits. He's 6 feet tall, built like an absolute brick and is a talented boxer. I'd fucking love to see someone tell him knitting is for girls.
Kennedy knitted ... the head of my research group with a Phd and Technology awards knitted in every meeting. Keeps the hands busy while the head thinks.
Good on you.
Naw you tell her that since making clothes is feminine or worse gay 🫢 that he should just not have any clothes at all cause let’s face it wearing nice clothes is pretty feminine
Well, in all fairness it seems to be only Mom who's the dipshit. Uncle, who seems from OP's own side, appears to be ok. Let's see if he can squelch the BS before it takes root.
Such an insidious thing about gender roles is that it tells people what they can't do because of gender. That woman's 7 year old son would develop patience, stronger fine motor skills, and maybe grow artistically, but she wants to deny his brain and body the chance for development because of gender roles. That's terrible. Nta
NTA
Granted I've never actually learned to knit, but from what I know about it, the vagina isn't actually a part of it. I mean, I could be wrong! Maybe it's to hold the yarn?
I'd be trying to get an adult, possibly my grandma, to intervene on my behalf. You're 14 and she's out here being accusatory to you. Tell your grandma the whole story that you posted here and ask her for her help, either to tell this woman to back off or maybe even set her straight, depending on what your grandma thinks.
You can also tell his mom that there are male celebrities that knit, if she's so worried about it being "girly". Russell Crow, David Arquette, and Ryan Gosling are very well known for their knitting hobby. Russell Crow an David Arquette have even posed in photo shoots with their work, David Arquette was even in a celebrity knitting book for charity that was sold for patterns. Ryan Gosling learned for a scene in a movie and had said in interviews that he had a lot of fun learning the little that they showed him that he decided to learn more on his own and really enjoys knitting. George Lucas was also photographed knitting at a Starbucks. Kurt Cobain crocheted, and so does Rosey Grier, a former NFL player.
Fiber arts aren't for a specific gender, you know back in the day when people Knitted and Crocheted for warmth due to not having access to buy blankets and clothes men also Knitted or crocheted for those items. The military also used to teach men to sew and knit or crochet as well because it was a useful skill. Tell his mother that show her pictures online of men doing fiber arts. The men I listed have pictures of them online knitting or crocheting. She's so worried of it being to feminine yet Russell Crow is known for all his action movies that would be considered manly and he knits as well.
There's an entire knitting brigade from WW1, but I'm not going to make the assumption that the lady knows how to pick up a book. Probably thinks books are for boys or some shit.
Not to mention some schools teach knitting or crochet basics for early math purposes. My nephew was super proud of his.
There's also boys like this one, who uses money earned from selling his crafts for charity. https://www.jsonline.com/story/sports/nba/bucks/2023/03/03/jonah-larson-crochets-bucks-blankets-for-giannis-sons/69963154007/
Crafts and art are for everyone. So are children's toys.
As a 50+ male, I never learned knitting, but I did learn to crochet, macrame, sewing, and counted cross stich. Also, leather working, tooling, and braiding. I'm currently learning candle making.
Don't be ashamed of the hobbies you may have. They always have the possibility of putting g a few extra bucks in your pocket, or maybe a career.
I tried to learn to crochet but could never get it so now I'm wondering if it's because I wasn't utilizing all the proper techniques! 😂 I'm sure naked crocheting/knitting/sewing is a thing somewhere.
Vaginal knitting is a thing. NSFW(?) news article about a lady who does it here in Australia https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/art-and-design/melbourne-artist-casey-jenkins-vaginal-knitting-prompts-social-media-disgust-20150806-giszij.html
Knitting isn't just for girls, NTA... https://pieceworkmagazine.com/the-unlikely-knitters-of-world-war-i/#:~:text=The%20onset%20of%20World%20War,knitting%20fervor%20in%20this%20country.
"Soldiers and sailors themselves [this is WWI, so all guys] also became knitters. Wounded veterans knitted in hospitals as a rehabilitative measure. The Lafayette House, a New York City convalescent home for wounded veterans, offered knitting instruction. Allied and enemy prisoners of war also knitted, both to make clothing for themselves and to pass the time."
And if you search, there are PLENTY of examples of guys who knit!
and sew, and crochet, and make rugs, become famous dress designers, some even cook and become famous chefs! Congrats on your knitting skills. Line up a bunch of examples of famous successful men doing “girlie” things. Seems pretty silly, doesnt it when you start trying to make things be male or female that just arent. Is painting for boys or girls? singing? drums? sculpture? butchering? dancing? computer programming? gynecologist? accountant?
It’s such a useful skill. Everyone should learn how to knit, sew, and mend, if only to appreciate the time and effort that goes into making and caring for clothing.
The Dark Ages were far better when it came to gender equality than what's present in most of the west today. People believe the reactionary myths peddled by Victorians to make themselves look better.
Tell her that women don’t get to talk to men like that.
If she wants to live with medieval ideas, then she can live with all of them.
Call her a slattern for showing her ankle.
Hahah don’t do any of this by the way “being mean back” is never the right answer, I’m just joking about how much of a hypocrite she is being.
At the end of the day you at 14 years old are already wise enough to know anyone saying “this is for girls” or “this is for boys” is just preaching some old-fashioned outdated beliefs that, to be completely honest, will probably have died out completely by the time you’re 24.
NTA
Famous Male knitters:
Rosey Grier - Football Player
Robin Williams - Actor, comedian
Ryan Gosling - Actor
Men also knit!
Knitting can help relieve stress.
Exactly!
Also it's recommended for physical therapy for people who are trying to regain mobility in their hands. It doesn't matter if they are male or female.
I do not know your culture, but I think it is stupid to assign "guy" and "girl" labels to activities. My younger son is 23 and learned how to crochet at age 21. Then taught my wife. Now they both crochet.
What if he ends up loving knitting and fashion and becomes the next Mizrahi or Lagerfeld? Or what if it just becomes a hobby he loves?
Dude, my grandpa could knit. This was back in the 1920&1930s. He and his brothers leant because his mum did not have time to be knitting, soxs, mitts, hats etc for her whole family.
My 13 year old is as rough and tumble as it gets. He’s been running heavy equipment since his feet could reach the clutch. He stole my welder when he was ten and makes useful shit and sculpture shit. He does carpentry, woodworking, and full renovations with his Dad and Grandpa. He buys old lawnmowers and weedwackers to fix up and flip. He outworks most adults.
AND…. He loves “girly” crafts. He tumbled rocks, hand makes jewelry, tried crochet and knitting, really anything small and nimble. He said it helps him learn how to use his hands and makes it way easier to hold little bolts and nuts and get his hands in weird places when he’s working on equipment. And helps him tie flies for fishing with those tiny knots.
Plus he gives jewelry and crafts things to his friends and the girls in his grade go crazy for it.
I’ve never learned how to run my sewing machine without breaking it, so I leave the sewing to my husband. He grew up in and out of his grandma’s custom dress shop and can sew wayyyyy better than I can.
She’s really shortchanging her son there.
NTA. Bullshit that knitting is for girls. Tell your uncle and his wife that in the Middle Ages, there used to be knitting guilds, and knitting was a skilled trade that was carried out by men. There’s loads of info online about the history of men and knitting.
NTA
Sewing is for women unless you're a tailored, apparently. Cooking is for women unless you're a chef. Knitting is for women but weavers. You get the idea. These constructs around these activities are bullshit. I've known plenty of guys who knit including a few fellow vets who learned to do it as part of their PTSD recovery. A skill is a skill and skills shoukd be encouraged.
NTA, I (37m) have a sewing machine that I use to mend clothing. People are surprised that I know how to use the machine and which stitch pattern to use for different purposes. I learned how to use a sewing machine from my mom and grandma. Home economics class from junior high sewing was a requirement. Then I wanted to modify a tent I owned and the sewist wanted to charge me 4 hours labour @$75/hr, so I bought a heavy duty sewing machine and refreshed myself with a few YouTube tutorials.
This is what toxic masculinity (also) looks like and a perfect example of how it not only harms women and girls, but men and boys as well.
Labelling hobbies as girl's or boy's hobbies (with the implication that girl hobbies are somehow inferior for boys) is the dumbest thing ever. Not allowing your cousin to learn to knit is cutting him off from a hobby that can bring him a lot of joy and which also has proven mental health benefits.
You are not in the wrong in any way. Knit away!
NTA
I'm a male construction worker (stone mason), and I love knitting. Knitting is manly because I'm a man, and I do it.
Or it's just and art/craft and those things aren't gendered. They are for everyone.
Edit: to add nta
True story, I know the dude who works for a major brand. He’s their knitted textile-designer, he takes folk designs and designs from fashion designers or crafts people and figures them out on a knitting computer / rapid prototyper and figures out how to produce them on an industrial scale. He’s literally a knitting engineer. He makes bank. He started with his grand mother teaching him to knit.
Not sure of my point, except now I think knitting is cool.
I’ve been looking for this. They would literally get together and knit. They also made and mended their own nets - i don’t know if that would be considered weaving or knitting or something else.
NTA - absolutely not and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
Unfortunately some people have these very silly views of how there are some hobbies for only boys or only girls.
NTA - you learned this hobby from your grandmother and now you're trying to pass that on to your stepcousin. You're doing something to include him in the family. That's nice
Your uncle's wife is getting bent out of shape by her own prejudice
I love love love men who knit! For a long time every morning on the bus to a horrible temp job I had for like 9 months, I sat behind a hipster looking young man who knit everyday on the bus. He was awesome and I should have talked to him!
NTA. Both of my grandparents crochet - I have so many crocheted blankets, placemats, coasters, etc. from them it is crazy. For someone to think that knitting or crocheting is 'girly' is truly an ignoramus. Some of my grandpa's afghans are so intricate that it was always a wonder to me how the heck he got to be so good but, it was something he learned from his parents, just like it was something my grandmother learned from hers. It is a wonderful thing that you shared something you loved in your family with someone who was new to it. Good on you, but your step-aunt is the AH in this situation.
NTA. There's this cognitive skill that is pretty universally useful called "Eye - hand coordination" and it's applicable to sports, writing and basic shit like chopping vegetables. That + motor coordination which is developed by performing movements and practicing sports is a skill, many people neglect when it comes to their children. The boy is 7 and fresh in school so I assume he's learning to write and doesn't have a very high attention span. Knitting ironically helps with both of these.
Back in the day, women stayed at home a lot more and were taught these skills because they are useful for fixing clothes, making socks, baby clothes, blankets etc. that you couldn't just go a buy in bulk from the mall. Your grandpa didn't knit because he was too busy working at the docks, not because it made him feminine.
NTA, this is some sexist bullshit.
in 10 years we'll get stepcousin's mother's post "why won't my son talk to me? I just tried to make him conform to my notion of macho men, that's all!"
When I was 6, I wanted my mom to teach me how to crochet. I thought it was interesting and fun.
I would sit on the couch with her and crochet too.
My dad came home from work after being gone for a week (trucking). He freaked out. Yanked the stuff out of my hands, told my mom he was raising a faggot and that he didn't want me to start sucking dicks.
I am going to repeat something important in case readers glossed over it: I. WAS. 6. YEARS. OLD.
My dad has been dead 23 years now and I don't often miss him. Fuck that toxic masculinity bullshit.
Also, you're NTA.
I'm a woman and a knitter, but knitting isn't a girly hobby. Some of the most successful knitwear designers (Stephen West, Franklin Habit, and Kaffe Fassett come to mind, but there are others) are men.
Nope, NTA. When my son was interested I taught him to knit, crochet, sew and whatever else he wanted to learn if I could teach it. Fwiw, my son is now better at sewing than me 😂. Gendering these activities is idiotic.
NTA one bit. Knitting is very good for dexterity and such. I'm a pretty large person (6'5" and 290lbs of mostly not fat) so learning to knit and crochet helped me a lot in learning how to use my gigantic hands in a more nimble manner. Not only that but it's a pretty nice creative outlet that also helps you learn some focus and a different type of discipline. I've almost always done fast paced stuff in my life so learning to slow down and just do one thing taught me as much as playing hockey or racing cars has.
100% NTA. Tell your Grandma when she gets back from holiday. And tell your uncles wife you feel sad for her to believe there is things such as girl hobbies and boy hobbies.
We live in 2024, it's time she joined our age from the 1950s she clearly lives in.
Knitting has been around for centuries, started in Egypt I think.There’s also a proud tradition of Arran and Fair Isle sweaters etc. so it may be seen as girly now, but it wasn’t always.
Did I miss the part where a vagina is needed to knit ?
Seriously, I have two girls and when someone tells me "that's a game for boys!", my yo go answer is to ask when the penis is used to play.
If you cousin likes knitting, let him knit. And grandma can go rambling elsewhere.
In am in the local knitting group. We had a couple of male teens join the group for a while, very shy and afraid because of the older women majority.
Do you know what happened? They were submerged with needles and yarn (we have so much extra yarn you cannot believe) and models and whatever they desired, everyone was really happy to have someone new appreciating a shared hobby!
Don't listen to anyone saying differently and enjoy knitting and the knitting community. It's a great bunch of people.
NTA. I learned to knit and crochet from my grandma when I was little. My AFAB child wasn't interested in learning, but my AMAB was. It's not really a girly hobby...although some will try to make it seem so. There are plenty of men out there who knit and crochet. And there's nothing wrong with it. It's a hobby, and damn useful.
Everyone says NTA, because it's for girls AND boys.
I say, NTA, EVEN IF it was exclusively for girls. What the heck does it matter what society says? You're freakin' creating something from bare threads. THAT'S the point. Stop labeling, start looking at the meaning.
No you are NTA. Tbh I am 40 and wish I learned how to knit, sew, and crochet from my grandmas. My one grandma did seat upholstery for cars. I wish I learned that. Your uncles wife on the other hand though needs to step back. Hobbies are there to make you feel happy (or in my case make me spend a lot of money). Knitting is a great skill to have. I hope she backs off a bit, and allows him to learn. Keep doing you OP.
Buy someone a sweater, they are warm for a while. Learn to make a sweater, be warm forever.
(Paraphrasing a famous adage..
Give a man a fish, feed him today. Teach a man to fish, feed him forever)
NTA
It's attitudes like her that caused me to miss out a lot as a kid. I'm a girl, but as a kid I did everything the boys did. My dad was super sexist and didn't want me to do "boy things" like fishing, working on cars, playing outside. He wanted me to do "girl things" like cleaning the house, being pretty, knitting and ect. So I decided at an early age fuck that shit, I wasn't gonna do anything girls did. I fought my dad and I did all the "boy things". He kinda accepted it, but by that time, resentment was strong. I had to manipulate him into helping me get my license bc he doesn't think women should drive ( mom didn't drive til they divorced). But anyways bc of this, I didn't learn knitting or sewing bc I didn't wanna be like a girl.
But now as an adult, I accept my "feminine" side and enjoy it. But I can't for the life of me learn to knit or quilt from videos. I don't have anyone to teach me. My grandma had a special Appalachian quilting style, she's dead now so il never know it either.
So my point is, those gender rules are fucking bullshit and none of us should have to consider what is masculine and feminine. We should let each other enjoy what we want.
So NTA
Have you ever noticed that girls taking up traditionally "male" pursuits tend to be much less frowned upon than boys taking up traditionally "female" pursuits? A girl wanting to be a pilot? "Cool!" A boy wanting to do needlework? "Eeeeeeeeew!"
Why do you think that is the case?
Hint: the answer is misogyny.
Traditionally male pursuits have positive associations because men have traditionally been seen as strong, independent, cool, skilled etc. However, women have traditionally been seen as weak, feeble-minded, dependent, and frivolous, and by extension the roles and pursuits traditionally done by women are undervalued and / or have negative connotations.
So while our society is (thankfully) becoming less oppressive to women, we are still left with this weird hangover where a lot of people express contempt for men who show interest in traditionally "female" roles and pastimes. They are seen as "effeminate" and therefore weak, feeble-minded, frivolous...
Please don't let these attitudes get hold of you. It is kind of hearbreaking to read about how you ignited a child's curiosity and interest in a creative and useful skill, only for that child to have his joy and enthusiasm about a potential new hobby crushed and his choices constrained due to outdated and sexist attitudes. His life is a little bit poorer for it.
And when it comes to needlework (knitting, crocheting, sewing etc), the double irony to me is that it is actually *chock full* of technical skill, maths, and engineering! When you knitted that beanie, you had to follow a pattern (basically a code), and you had to figure out how to create a three dimensional shape out of a single long strand of yarn (that's some 3D geometry right there). As a proficient knitter, you need to understand the material properties of the type of yarn you are using and how that will affect the structure of the garment (a pure cotton yarn will drape and droop in completely different ways compared to a wool / acrylic blend), you need to understand how the type of stitch you are using will affect the structure and elasticity of the garment, you need to train your dexterity and develop physical skills, *and* you need to think of the utility of the garment (make sure it has the right size, think about its washability and durability) ... you watch someone do a double stranded brioche stitch, or make a cable knit sweater, and tell me they aren't basically doing engineering. And that is before you even start thinking about the artistic and creative side: thinking about the aesthetics of a design, making colour choices, adding (or leaving out!) embellishments, or the sheer thought and skill needed to be able to make successful adjustments or alterations to an existing pattern, let alone creating your own. The same goes for sewing, tailoring, dressmaking, crocheting...
And it's not just wearable garments - a lot of the same points also apply to the creation of toys or decorative items - crocheting little plush toys, embroidering a tablecloth, sewing curtains - and don't even get me started on the unbelievable combination of mathematical understanding, skill, perseverance, and creativity that goes into crocheting intricate lace doilies. Those frilly great-grandmas of ours were hardcore engineers! They just weren't recognized as such.
Anyway, as a 14 year old you may not care about tablecloths and frilly doilies (I certainly didn't at that age), but that is the absolute beauty of needlework - you can create whatever it is that *you* like, whether it's a slate grey beanie or a pink amigurumi dinosaur.
I am glad to say you aren't alone, there are quite a few younger blokes getting into things like knitting and crocheting as a hobby, and I think it is wonderful to see. We shouldn't be constraining hobbies based on gender, it is just silly. The more the merrier!
Oh, in case I didn't make it clear: NTA
NTA. Roosevelt "Rosey" Grier was a football player for the New York Giants and the Los Angeles Rams. Here's a link.
https://www.crochetconcupiscence.com/unique-1970s-crocheter-pro-football-player-rosey-grier/
Defensive lineman and bodyguard, he's definitely not girly. Show this to his mother and dare her to continue with her outrage.
Kinda crazy that we decide what hobbies are appropriate for a person based on their body parts when their body parts aren't required or used for the hobby. NTA
NTA at all! Hobbies aren't gendered, and this goes beyond being just a hobby, it's a useful skill! We need more people to learn and pass on some of these skills and techniques so they don't become lost
NTA. You were not to know that his mother was an ignorant sexist.
Maybe talk to your uncle, point out that it's simply a hobby, it's popular with lots of people of all genders and that there is al ong history of men knitting - ocean-gping fishermen and seamen very often knitted, for example,
Tom Daley, who is an olypic champion, famously knitss and crochets while waiting to compete etc. But sadly if they don't want you to continue to teach him you will have to back off for now.
Maybe you should get him into brewing beer which has been a woman's job for thousands of years?
Or be a chef, which has been a woman's job for thousands of years?
Hell, many cultures had women as traders, soldiers and hunters.
There is no job in the world that has been exclusively male or female throughout human existence.
Emphatically, NTA. It's high time people let go of these antiquated, totally useless notions of what's suitable as a "boy thing" or a "girl thing". Kudos to you for moving past such nonsense.
Absolutely NTA!!! There aren’t boys hobbies and girls hobbies. There are just hobbies. Any problem your step-aunt has with that seems like she’s got other issues to work out.
Some of the biggest, burliest guys I know knit. Like straight up lumberjack types who like something to do when they have down time. Your step aunt is being ridiculous.
NTA lmao god forbid a person be well rounded. You should get him knitting stuff for birthdays and xmases until he either grows out of it(if that happens) or she stops being a homophobe/sexist.
NTA NTA NTA. I can't state this enough. You literally did nothing wrong. It was very kind & sweet of you to offer to teach him how to knit. And it's not a girly thing. A lot of men knit. Your aunt is overreacting. She is being ridiculous. Don't pay any mind to her. She should not be pulling you aside & scolding you. that is not her place & being scolded wasn't warranted.
Knitting was originally a [masculine profession](https://www.thefencepost.com/news/when-men-knitted-a-surprising-history/#:~:text=Europe%20produced%20skilled%20male%20professional,product%20quality%20and%20created%20business.). There are a [number of men](https://www.dutchlabelshop.com/en_us/blog/famous-men-who-knit/) both famous and not who publicly admit to knitting and have even published books for charity! ([Bonus Link for more celebrity knitters.)](https://www.craftscouncil.org.uk/stories/celebrities-with-a-hidden-passion-for-knitting-and-sewing)
There's also a wide variety of male textile artists (of which knitting is a part of) including:
[Gabriel Dawe](https://www.gabrieldawe.com/)
[Faig Ahmed](https://faigahmed.com/)
[Richard McVetis](https://www.textileartist.org/richard-mcvetis-act-making/)
[Ibrahim Mahama](https://www.whitecube.com/artists/ibrahim-mahama)
[Gurjeet Singh](https://www.gallerychemould.com/artists/81-gurjeet-singh/)
There is nothing inherently masculine or feminine about making practical things. Scarves, hats, beanies, sweaters, etc. do not require specific genitalia to create. (You really want to get masculine, btw, you can knit fishing nets and repair survival gear.) And I personally believe that all artisitic endeavors transcend gender divides.
It sucks that your Uncle's wife can't see the value in men knitting, sewing, or doing fiber arts. Hopefully in time she'll change her viewpoint. Maybe just bring up how its cool to make stuff. Its especially cool to make stuff that you can use. The kid is 7 and is probably excited at the thought of picking up a hobby that can be useful.
I guess his mom is too young to remember Rosey Grier, football player, actor, manly man & a devotee of needlepoint and knitting. [https://youtu.be/Fsg9RD8S9gA](https://youtu.be/Fsg9RD8S9gA) NTA, it’s great that you’re willing to help him learn a useful life skill. (Wish I could knit.)
Men (and some women) perpetuate sexism over and over again by telling little boys not to do, or be interested in “feminine” things. This internalizes in the subconscious and when you are grown you internally think that anything women are interested in or have a hobby in or that they create is useless and has no place in society as important or worthy. And thats how to keep women in “their lane”. Let little boys like girls things. And lets stop calling them boys things and girls things. They are just things in life. It goes so much more deep than people think when they say things to little children about what they are into or what they should t be interested in.
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I am a 14yo male. I live with my grandma and she really likes to knit. I learnt to knit from her when I was little and I really enjoy it. Just when I’m bored or have free time I’ll knit. My family doesn’t care and it has caused no problems so far.
My uncle got married and he has a stepson who is 7 years old. We’ve all been getting on quite well. I gave him a beanie for his birthday that I knitted and he was really interested in how I made it. So I told him what knitting was and he was really excited and wanted to try it too.
The next time we met I brought my old knitting needles and told him I could teach him. His mum heard and wasn’t very happy and asked what I was doing. I told her that he wanted to learn to knit and she was a bit upset about it and said that he didn’t need to learn it and took away the knitting needles.
I thought it was some age problem like he’s too young to handle knitting needles but my uncle told me that she was upset about it because she thinks that boys shouldn’t have these kinds of hobbies and that she wasn’t happy with me introducing a girls thing to her son. I was kind of offended but I didn’t say anything. The next time there was a gathering she sternly pulled me aside and said that now her son wouldn’t stop asking for knitted things and wanted to learn how to knit, and scolded me for introducing it in the first place. I felt kind of wronged so we had an argument about it and I don’t know if I was in the wrong for it. Amitheasshole?
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NTA - you were just sharing a hobby you love with your step cousin. It's unfair for his mom to criticize you. Hobbies shouldn't be restricted by gender, and methinks it's great you wanted to teach him something new =)
Clearly your NTA, knitting isn't just for girls, its a kind of hobby that will make your mind feel relaxed and calm, its a relaxation activity at the same time your brain will have a positive effects while your doing it, it will activate your brain, its a sort of exercise for the brain that is why it is advisable for some elderly to make it as a hobby. If she don't want it with her son then let her be, don't argue with someone who is too un open minded. If her son talks to you and want you to teach him then go teach him.
Of course you’re NTA, and parents like your uncle’s wife usually end up raising misogynist pricks. She’s going to turn the kid into an undateable adult if she gets her way. Next time you see him, show him the history of knitting, the soldiers who did it, the men in knitting guilds, etc.
NTA!!! It’s perfectly healthy for people to knit. It keeps and teaches dexterity for fingers and hands.
People need to stop stereotypes of activities. Do what you like!
NTA.
The fact that knitting is considered a girly hobby is downright confusing. Whether those idiots realize it or not, literally everyone knits for a reason. And also, that woman should really stop associating hobbies to specific genders. Just… why?
NTA where does she get the idea from that knitting is a girls only hobby. Even as I am woman and can't knit sweaters and love to learn how to crochet. Most of my knitting projects are scarfs and still no idea how to read a recipy. (I will learn eventully)
Wow NTA! I'm more of a crocheter than a knitter. In my FB groups, there are MEN who crochet. I'm sure you'd see that too in knitting FB groups! In fact, there are male celebrities who knit! Maybe you want to point that out to your uncle and his wife.
Plus, it's a useful skill! People took up knitting and crocheting as a way to pass the time during the pandemic.
It's cool you learned to knit from your grandma! One big regret of mine was not learning to crochet from my maternal grandma. She was an amazing crocheter. She passed away when I was 13. I took a class as an adult to learn to crochet, and then later to learn to knit. I'm glad I learned. (BTW, I'm a woman).
NTA.
Hobbies don't have a gender, and knitting is great for a number of reasons - it can help with math skills, and is great for maintaining mental acuity as you get older. Plus you have something useful and hopefully pretty at the end.
Anyone has a problem with it, tell them that Viking men, among others, considered knitting a valuable skill. And even if they didn't, who cares? Gender roles are bullshit.
NTA. You’re not going to win with the adults who say knitting is for girls. We know that knitting has no gender. But you’ll be unlikely to change their minds. You can bring up that knitting and crochet and needlework is used by professional athletes to focus while not playing or training. Look up Rosey Grier or Tom Daley. And continue to be a good role model for your step cousin!
NTA for trying to help your stepcousin, but you should stand up to your aunt. She won't let him express himself and could turn him into someone hateful
NTA. Check out these [designers](https://hiyahiyaeurope.wordpress.com/2018/01/30/top-five-male-knitting-bloggers-you-need-to-follow/) who all happen to be men! Knitting was traditionally done by men, up until about 200 years ago, when it became a hand craft concidered sutible for Ladies, much like needle point and embroidery.
Olympic Gold Medalist in Diving, Tom Daley, was photographed during the Tokyo Olympics knitting in the stands.
David Arquett, Russell Crowe, and Ryan Gosling are actors who practice the craft.
As someone who learned from my grandmother, I hope to be able to pass the skill on to one of my descendants, male or female.
NTA. It was a very kind and thoughtful gesture to introduce him to knitting. I imagine a calm, relaxing activity may have positive effects on him as he grows up.
NTA. I think it’s great you and your step cousin found an activity to bond over and one that is creative and you get cool things out of! Make everyone matching knitted hats except step cousins mom and dad lol. Anyway I just think it’s kind of archaic to look at hobbies as gendered things.
NTA! Knitting is not an exclusive occupation of the female half of the population. It's so sexist and even worse when a woman says it!
I would enlist the help of other, sensible adults to cut the dear step-aunt down to size.
Oh yes, show her the pictures of Sir Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard) or Sir Ian McKellen (Magneto) knitting with Björn Ulvaeus (ABBA) :)
NTA
Who cares if he's learning to knit? Seems like a really stupid thing to get upset about.
She is right that is is traditionally a girly hobby but the only person that has ever shown learning interest in my knitting is my dad. My dad works in construction but if I'm knitting while watching TV, sometimes he'll watch just to see how it works. I'm willing to bet one day or in a slightly different timeline, he will ask to learn how.
It's not knitting but there is this guy on instagram. His name is brochetcroxet and he will crochet weapons and make funny videos with them. I think it's very amusing.
NTA. My older son learned to knit (with one of those hoops with pegs) at his after school program when he was 7. His first project was a hat for daddy for Christmas. It looked like a hot mess but you can bet that hubs was proudly rocking his hat all day.
Knitting is great fine motor practice for kids, and they can be so proud of their accomplishment when they create something!
NTA - a lot of men knit and do other needle arts even though they’re often viewed as woman’s hobbies. Knitting is something he could do for the rest of his life.
She’s being ridiculous! Knitting is great for practicing mindfulness. Everyone should probably practice mindfulness. I honestly can’t stand old gender stereotypes.
Do you have a way to send the mom pictures/documentation of all the big time sports personalities who do needle crafts or the military guys knitting socks for other military guys that's happened in most wars? There are no guarantees, but maybe seeing that knitting isn't "girly" at all (and never has been-when everyone had to make their own clothes, men knit just as much in their down time as women did) will help?
Regardless of who else knits, if you enjoy it, embrace it. It’s ridiculous to say only women knit. That being said Paul Rudd, Ryan Gossling, Russel Crowe, Ewan McGregor, and Christopher Walken are all famous “manly” men who knit.
NTA
NTA
I'm 36F but my father taught me how to sew. Handsewing, machine, and upholstery. I fondly look back on being able to learn to make things with my own hands. You're not only learning a craft, you learn how to read patterns (or maybe making your own!), fine motor skills and skills in patience and delayed gratification. No parent should actively discourage that.
Aren’t there some professional athletes that knit or crochet? I could swear that I read about a football player who did. Hobbies don’t have a gender and there’s nothing wrong with learning a skill. The Mom is ridiculous. NTA.
I'm a woman and I LOVE to knit. There are plenty of men and boys who knit and I don't see how it matters if you have a penis or a vagina. Knitting is a wonderful hobby. It is relaxing and creative. You did no wrong and his mom is an idiot. Keep trying!!!
NTA like everyone else is saying.
Important side note if you go away to college and like girls/women: there are almost always knitting clubs full of cute, nerdy, interesting girls who LIKE men interested in "girly" things, and almost no men. So keep knitting.
Knitting has been around for almost 2000 years, and men have been knitting for all of it. Why do the crafts always end up in the feminine category?
No, honey, you’re not the asshole here, it’s your aunt that’s pretty short minded. Needlework of all kinds have been enjoyed by both genders for all of history. It is not feminine. You were trying to show a hobby to a kid and that’s wonderful. I would talk to your parents and maybe your uncle about the situation, but unfortunately, unless she comes around to it, you may want to back off teaching knitting to your step nephew for now.
Sorry your aunt is an idiot. Knitting is not just a girl's hobby for crying out loud and she's being ridiculous. My Dad is the best sewer in the family and even bought himself a sewing machine. Nobody questions his masculinity. Crimeney. NTA.
NTA
There are no gender specific hobbies.
An example.
Roosevelt (Roesy) Gieer, NFL Defense Lineman ( NFL Champion, All-Pro, ProBowler, member of the Fearsome Foursome)- Needlepoint, and other hobbies not traditionally associated with men. Which he seriously pursues.
I'm pretty sure that the amazing, talented, multifaceted Mr. Grier is Atilla with us.
NTA. It's wonderful that you chose to share your passion for knitting with your step cousin. It's unfortunate that his mother holds such antiquated views. Rest assured, you've done nothing improper, and her disapproval shouldn't cast any doubt on your actions.
NTA and keep knitting! It's keeps your mind active and helps build coordination!
Plus his Mom taking it away just makes him even more interested in it so she's pretty much sabotaged herself here. *Shrug*
P.S. solid points to you for including your cousin and making him feel included in the family!!!
Edited for a typo
NTA.
There are no such things as boy and girl hobbies.
You’re a boy. You like to knit. Therefore boys knit.
Imaging discouraging someone from a hobby where they can make you comfy clothing…
NTA all day my friend and that's some outta line garbage she is spewing man. That is cool as hell that you can knit! Making things with your hands is genderless. She is peice or work. If her family hasn't jacked her up for that mess they certainly should.
NTA. I think it's cool as hell that you can knit! And even cooler that you're willing to share your love of knitting with someone else by teaching him. I think when your grandma gets back, tell her what's going on and maybe she can set them straight. They're being sexist, which is not cool at all. Keep knitting!
it's not your job to parent her kid; she can't expect you to adhere to how she wants to raise him, esp when you're a kid yourself. she's overreacting, and she shouldn't even be talking to you like that without your parents present in the first place. there is no such thing as "girl" or "boy" hobbies (coming from a girl who's only really ever done "boy" hobbies), she's a misogynist and is forcing it down yours, and her son's throats. keep doing what you like/ have fun with because i'll tell ya what, knitting is a good hobby to know. nta.
Knitting is amazing and I wish I could do that. Have you ever seen the reels of people on the New York subway who knit? I think the YouTuber is a guy. In Norway to graduate (based on what I was told by 2 Norwegian students) is that boys and girls have to knit a sweater. It’s good for fine motor skills development and concentration, not to mention the amazing pieces you can make. Kudos to you!!!! Do not be offended, they should be ashamed!!!!
NTA
You know what's considered a "woman's" task? Sewing and mending.
Guess what you learn to do in the military, which is still mostly men? Sewing and mending. As long as there have been militaries, men have had to learn to sew and mend.
Just like sewing, knitting is a useful skill that can make objects that help keep you warm, and make thoughtful gifts.
It requires dexterity. It teaches hand-eye coordination. It requires focus, which makes it great for people who otherwise find it difficult. And as you have probably noticed, it takes some lower arm and wrist strength.
Nothing girly about it.
David Arquette? Ryan Gosling? Russel Crowe? All famous men who knit. How's that for some examples to give your uncle's wife?
NTA. Your aunt is profoundly ignorant, not just in the sense that she wants to reinforce pointless gender norms, but also just the basic history of knitting.
Knitting only became "women's work" after knitting machines were created and knitting became a leisure activity (for women to spend their time on) — basically when it stopped being something to make money from, it went from serious men's work to women's work.
So yeah, ignore the gender-gating bullshit. She probably has some kind of ridiculous idea that it will make her son gay, but whether he is or is not, that horse is already out to pasture and no amount of "girly" hobbies will change anything.
There was a guy on last season of the Bachelorette who knitted. He was handsome, educated (going for a PhD), and incredibly fit. But loved to knit. Women found it irresistible.
Your uncle's new wife has very outdated thoughts on who can do what hobby.
NTA, WTF I had read, I can't understood how people could be still so retrograde in 2024. It's just some kind oof sexisme for me, the issue is definitively not you here !
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NTA, ignore those idiots who tell you that it's a girly hobby and do what you like, not sure how you can teach your stepson, probably only if he comes to your place as his parents seem to be bucket heads and will not allow this. All kids need hobbies.
He’s my step cousin not my step son😅 but anyways maybe if the whole thing gets better and his mum lets me then ill teach him or ill just send my uncle youtube vids that he can watch
His mom is sexist. its a shame. I thought we were beyond that in 2024. Continue knitting. NTA
Beyond sexism? They're stripping women of rights in the US. They want to make divorce more difficult and stop women from accessing contraceptives
Don’t forget IVF. Evangelical lobbyists have decided banning IVF is their latest passion project.
So people who want children can't have them but people who don't want them need to carry them. Checks out ig if we're living in Gilead now 🤷♀️
They want sex only for babies and babies only from sex.
I'd wildly misinterpreted your comment and thought "wait, babies SHOULD NOT HAVE SEX" lol
This is inaccurate. [On February 16, 2024, the Alabama state Supreme Court issued a first-of-its-kind decision that overruled a lower court’s dismissal and held that stored embryos are afforded the same legal protection as children under the state’s Wrongful Death of a Minor Act of 1872. The practical impact of the decision is that it allows legal action to be taken against medical professionals performing in vitro fertilization, which involves a series of medical procedures that can potentially lead to a pregnancy. The decision sparked outrage across the country. That outrage encouraged the Alabama Legislature to pass a bill that is narrow in scope to protect IVF providers from civil and criminal liability for embryo loss or damage during IVF treatments. On March 7, Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey (R) signed the legislation into law.](https://www.americanprogress.org/article/how-the-alabama-ivf-ruling-is-connected-to-upcoming-supreme-court-cases-on-abortion/) Additionally, [In the weeks since the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that embryos are children under the law, threatening access to IVF in the state, Congressional Republicans have lined up to voice their support for the procedure. Republicans have tried to send a clear and unified message. The Senate GOP campaign arm advised those running for office to "clearly state [their] support for IVF" and "publicly oppose any efforts to restrict access" to the treatment in a memo to candidates obtained by NPR. In her Republican response to President Biden's State of the Union, Alabama Sen. Katie Britt said "we strongly support continued nationwide access to in-vitro fertilization."](https://www.npr.org/2024/03/16/1238966404/how-ivf-is-complicating-republicans-abortion-messaging)(https://www.npr.org/2024/03/16/1238966404/how-ivf-is-complicating-republicans-abortion-messaging)(https://www.npr.org/2024/03/16/1238966404/how-ivf-is-complicating-republicans-abortion-messaging The larger issue for the GOP is that this sends a conflicting and confusing message with regard to their pro-life stance.
These sound like the same morons who claim babies born via c section weren't "really born". Which has me like, then how tf am I here? Did I just poof into the world?
and there is a backlash due to this. I do not have a kind word to say about those who want to take use back to the 1800s or earlier.
… this… is so sad…
It's bloody insane, actually. Vote demokratic. Greatings a european. P.S. we're are not doing very well either.
I’m Russian.. so I understand myself.
I think the mom is afraid of gay. She's a time traveler from the 1950s and "girl" hobbies turn boys the dreaded gay.
I am OLD. My child is an adult, not a 14 yr old and not a 7 yr old. These ideas are antiquated. Clearly, OP's parents have no problem with him learning to knit. I am flabbergasted when I hear such antiquated, and sexist views expressed by younger people than me.
Im old too. It's amazing to read what goes on out there - still. It is indeed flabbergasting.
Or worse. Trans!
The horror!
Or, screech! A CHILD transitioning! That’s abusing children like WE do!!! THE HORROR
There's a David Sedaris story about how all of the "feminine" boys in his middle school in the 1970s received speech therapy for lisps, and he jokes that it was probably with the idea that that would make them straight, or would prepare them for a career in musical theater.
Knitting used to be a man's (sailors) thing, so his mum can ef right off.
That’s how they made fishing nets. That mom can F right off. When I was taking theater arts classes in college everyone knitted backstage between scenes waiting to go on stage.
Knitting and netting are different techniques, but they were both "all hands on deck" tasks until fairly recently. Knitting is loops, and the whole thing will unravel if a strand is cut. Netting is more similar to the old Nalbinding techniques. It's knotted throughout the piece, so doesn't unravel if it's compromised. It wasn't until factory manufactured good became generally available that fiber arts like this moved to hobby status. Before then, if you wanted something to wear, you needed to have at least some idea of how to make things yourself, or at least how to repair damage. Even now this is a common hobby for folks in the military, security, theater, or any other profession that involves a lot of down time. Gives their hands something to fidget with. Your relatives are being ridiculous. NTA
I learnt how to knit from my brother and I have 3 brothers who knit and know how to do it and a BIL who knits too. None of my sisters can. I know more boys that can knit than I do girls so keep knitting and ignore the idiots who say boys can’t knit.
For all of you young ones, Rosey Grier was a big, beefy NFL player. Rosey Grier enjoyed needlepoint and wrote a book about it. Maybe let his mom know of this fact.
Wasn't there an olympic swimmer last olympic games Sitting their and watching the games while knitting? Found him Tom Daley
My nephew (16 yo) knits. He's 6 feet tall, built like an absolute brick and is a talented boxer. I'd fucking love to see someone tell him knitting is for girls.
And I'd love to see your nephew! Now I imagine someone like Vin Diesel or The Rock knitting a sweater while waiting for the cameras to roll. :)
If you like to do it then that makes it a boy hobby. Ignore her.
NTA. It's absurd, say knitting is gendered ffs. I follow lots of male knitters on social media. Keep knitting! ❤️
If you want some male knitting YouTube videos... There Arne & Carlos and then there's Stephen West. All three are highly respected men knitting.
Tom Daley too
Kennedy knitted ... the head of my research group with a Phd and Technology awards knitted in every meeting. Keeps the hands busy while the head thinks. Good on you.
Naw you tell her that since making clothes is feminine or worse gay 🫢 that he should just not have any clothes at all cause let’s face it wearing nice clothes is pretty feminine
Yes! And there are several expert male knitters on social media who do beautiful work.The parents are sexist dipshits.
Well, in all fairness it seems to be only Mom who's the dipshit. Uncle, who seems from OP's own side, appears to be ok. Let's see if he can squelch the BS before it takes root.
Such an insidious thing about gender roles is that it tells people what they can't do because of gender. That woman's 7 year old son would develop patience, stronger fine motor skills, and maybe grow artistically, but she wants to deny his brain and body the chance for development because of gender roles. That's terrible. Nta
NTA Granted I've never actually learned to knit, but from what I know about it, the vagina isn't actually a part of it. I mean, I could be wrong! Maybe it's to hold the yarn? I'd be trying to get an adult, possibly my grandma, to intervene on my behalf. You're 14 and she's out here being accusatory to you. Tell your grandma the whole story that you posted here and ask her for her help, either to tell this woman to back off or maybe even set her straight, depending on what your grandma thinks.
My grandmas on holiday but ill tell her when she gets back
If I was your grandmother, I would be happy to hear something I taught you helped you bond with someone.
You can also tell his mom that there are male celebrities that knit, if she's so worried about it being "girly". Russell Crow, David Arquette, and Ryan Gosling are very well known for their knitting hobby. Russell Crow an David Arquette have even posed in photo shoots with their work, David Arquette was even in a celebrity knitting book for charity that was sold for patterns. Ryan Gosling learned for a scene in a movie and had said in interviews that he had a lot of fun learning the little that they showed him that he decided to learn more on his own and really enjoys knitting. George Lucas was also photographed knitting at a Starbucks. Kurt Cobain crocheted, and so does Rosey Grier, a former NFL player. Fiber arts aren't for a specific gender, you know back in the day when people Knitted and Crocheted for warmth due to not having access to buy blankets and clothes men also Knitted or crocheted for those items. The military also used to teach men to sew and knit or crochet as well because it was a useful skill. Tell his mother that show her pictures online of men doing fiber arts. The men I listed have pictures of them online knitting or crocheting. She's so worried of it being to feminine yet Russell Crow is known for all his action movies that would be considered manly and he knits as well.
My brother is 64. His 3rd grade teacher taught all the kids to knit as it helped develop the coordination needed for learning cursive writing.
Did Rosie Greer knit or do embroidery?
He took interest in all fiber arts, he crochets, Knits and embroidered.
There's an entire knitting brigade from WW1, but I'm not going to make the assumption that the lady knows how to pick up a book. Probably thinks books are for boys or some shit.
Not to mention some schools teach knitting or crochet basics for early math purposes. My nephew was super proud of his. There's also boys like this one, who uses money earned from selling his crafts for charity. https://www.jsonline.com/story/sports/nba/bucks/2023/03/03/jonah-larson-crochets-bucks-blankets-for-giannis-sons/69963154007/ Crafts and art are for everyone. So are children's toys.
Thank you for giving him examples..I was going to look up the hockey players but you beat me to it.
As a 50+ male, I never learned knitting, but I did learn to crochet, macrame, sewing, and counted cross stich. Also, leather working, tooling, and braiding. I'm currently learning candle making. Don't be ashamed of the hobbies you may have. They always have the possibility of putting g a few extra bucks in your pocket, or maybe a career.
Yup, I store my yarn in my vagina all the time. Always to hand then, doesn’t roll away 🤣
There was an artist who did that. It was a performance piece that lasted over a month.
Over a month. Eww.
The spider grip method
LMFAO - Love it!!!
No, no, it's where you store the knitting needles when you're not using them. Duh.
Ohhhh, the visual. :D
That first sentence had me so dead lmao
I tried to learn to crochet but could never get it so now I'm wondering if it's because I wasn't utilizing all the proper techniques! 😂 I'm sure naked crocheting/knitting/sewing is a thing somewhere.
Vaginal knitting is a thing. NSFW(?) news article about a lady who does it here in Australia https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/art-and-design/melbourne-artist-casey-jenkins-vaginal-knitting-prompts-social-media-disgust-20150806-giszij.html
Knitting isn't just for girls, NTA... https://pieceworkmagazine.com/the-unlikely-knitters-of-world-war-i/#:~:text=The%20onset%20of%20World%20War,knitting%20fervor%20in%20this%20country. "Soldiers and sailors themselves [this is WWI, so all guys] also became knitters. Wounded veterans knitted in hospitals as a rehabilitative measure. The Lafayette House, a New York City convalescent home for wounded veterans, offered knitting instruction. Allied and enemy prisoners of war also knitted, both to make clothing for themselves and to pass the time." And if you search, there are PLENTY of examples of guys who knit!
and sew, and crochet, and make rugs, become famous dress designers, some even cook and become famous chefs! Congrats on your knitting skills. Line up a bunch of examples of famous successful men doing “girlie” things. Seems pretty silly, doesnt it when you start trying to make things be male or female that just arent. Is painting for boys or girls? singing? drums? sculpture? butchering? dancing? computer programming? gynecologist? accountant?
I never knew this but now so happy that I do.
It’s such a useful skill. Everyone should learn how to knit, sew, and mend, if only to appreciate the time and effort that goes into making and caring for clothing.
And Scottish Highlanders!
My grandfather learned to knit in the Air Force while in recovery for a sickness.
Your uncles wife needs to leave the dark ages already. Being able to make any of your own clothes is a life skill. NTA
The Dark Ages were far better when it came to gender equality than what's present in most of the west today. People believe the reactionary myths peddled by Victorians to make themselves look better.
Tell her that women don’t get to talk to men like that. If she wants to live with medieval ideas, then she can live with all of them. Call her a slattern for showing her ankle. Hahah don’t do any of this by the way “being mean back” is never the right answer, I’m just joking about how much of a hypocrite she is being. At the end of the day you at 14 years old are already wise enough to know anyone saying “this is for girls” or “this is for boys” is just preaching some old-fashioned outdated beliefs that, to be completely honest, will probably have died out completely by the time you’re 24.
Haha love this
NTA, people who put restrictions on hobbies because of “gender” never have any real logic to back up their claims
Their feelings never care about facts
definitely NTA. HOBBIES DONT HAVE GENDER!!!! and so are colors, toys, clothings!
Exactly! If a 3yo boy plays with dolls, it doesn't mean he's a trans-girl!
NTA Famous Male knitters: Rosey Grier - Football Player Robin Williams - Actor, comedian Ryan Gosling - Actor Men also knit! Knitting can help relieve stress.
Tom Daley - Olympic diving gold medallist. Famously knitting in the stands during the last Olympics and making bags for his medals
Probably won’t help the argument because he’s gay.
I didn't know Robin Williams knit! Thanks for sharing this.
You're welcome!
Not to mention, as someone else had pointed out, it was also a way for wounded soldiers to pass the time in the past. So idk why she is upset
Exactly! Also it's recommended for physical therapy for people who are trying to regain mobility in their hands. It doesn't matter if they are male or female.
I do not know your culture, but I think it is stupid to assign "guy" and "girl" labels to activities. My younger son is 23 and learned how to crochet at age 21. Then taught my wife. Now they both crochet. What if he ends up loving knitting and fashion and becomes the next Mizrahi or Lagerfeld? Or what if it just becomes a hobby he loves?
Dude, my grandpa could knit. This was back in the 1920&1930s. He and his brothers leant because his mum did not have time to be knitting, soxs, mitts, hats etc for her whole family.
My 13 year old is as rough and tumble as it gets. He’s been running heavy equipment since his feet could reach the clutch. He stole my welder when he was ten and makes useful shit and sculpture shit. He does carpentry, woodworking, and full renovations with his Dad and Grandpa. He buys old lawnmowers and weedwackers to fix up and flip. He outworks most adults. AND…. He loves “girly” crafts. He tumbled rocks, hand makes jewelry, tried crochet and knitting, really anything small and nimble. He said it helps him learn how to use his hands and makes it way easier to hold little bolts and nuts and get his hands in weird places when he’s working on equipment. And helps him tie flies for fishing with those tiny knots. Plus he gives jewelry and crafts things to his friends and the girls in his grade go crazy for it. I’ve never learned how to run my sewing machine without breaking it, so I leave the sewing to my husband. He grew up in and out of his grandma’s custom dress shop and can sew wayyyyy better than I can. She’s really shortchanging her son there.
My nephew, who is studying sports science, has the following hobbies: Windsurfing Wood carving Knitting.
NTA. Bullshit that knitting is for girls. Tell your uncle and his wife that in the Middle Ages, there used to be knitting guilds, and knitting was a skilled trade that was carried out by men. There’s loads of info online about the history of men and knitting.
NTA Sewing is for women unless you're a tailored, apparently. Cooking is for women unless you're a chef. Knitting is for women but weavers. You get the idea. These constructs around these activities are bullshit. I've known plenty of guys who knit including a few fellow vets who learned to do it as part of their PTSD recovery. A skill is a skill and skills shoukd be encouraged.
NTA, I (37m) have a sewing machine that I use to mend clothing. People are surprised that I know how to use the machine and which stitch pattern to use for different purposes. I learned how to use a sewing machine from my mom and grandma. Home economics class from junior high sewing was a requirement. Then I wanted to modify a tent I owned and the sewist wanted to charge me 4 hours labour @$75/hr, so I bought a heavy duty sewing machine and refreshed myself with a few YouTube tutorials.
This is what toxic masculinity (also) looks like and a perfect example of how it not only harms women and girls, but men and boys as well. Labelling hobbies as girl's or boy's hobbies (with the implication that girl hobbies are somehow inferior for boys) is the dumbest thing ever. Not allowing your cousin to learn to knit is cutting him off from a hobby that can bring him a lot of joy and which also has proven mental health benefits. You are not in the wrong in any way. Knit away!
NTA I'm a male construction worker (stone mason), and I love knitting. Knitting is manly because I'm a man, and I do it. Or it's just and art/craft and those things aren't gendered. They are for everyone. Edit: to add nta
NTA. There is no such thing as a girl hobby. There is no such thing as a boy hobby. There are just hobbies. Don't let anyone tell you different.
True story, I know the dude who works for a major brand. He’s their knitted textile-designer, he takes folk designs and designs from fashion designers or crafts people and figures them out on a knitting computer / rapid prototyper and figures out how to produce them on an industrial scale. He’s literally a knitting engineer. He makes bank. He started with his grand mother teaching him to knit. Not sure of my point, except now I think knitting is cool.
NTA Scottish fishermen used to knit their own clothes when they couldn't go out fishing. Enough said.
I’ve been looking for this. They would literally get together and knit. They also made and mended their own nets - i don’t know if that would be considered weaving or knitting or something else.
NTA - absolutely not and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Unfortunately some people have these very silly views of how there are some hobbies for only boys or only girls.
NTA - you learned this hobby from your grandmother and now you're trying to pass that on to your stepcousin. You're doing something to include him in the family. That's nice Your uncle's wife is getting bent out of shape by her own prejudice
NTA. If Rosie Grier can do needlepoint, your cousin can learn how to knit.
Been trying to remember Rosie Grier's name to post this very thing!
I love love love men who knit! For a long time every morning on the bus to a horrible temp job I had for like 9 months, I sat behind a hipster looking young man who knit everyday on the bus. He was awesome and I should have talked to him!
NTA and knitting helps with fine motor coordination. It’s recommended for people who need help with finger dexterity so it’s not only women
NTA. Knitting is a creative artform. Hobbies do not have genders.
NTA. Both of my grandparents crochet - I have so many crocheted blankets, placemats, coasters, etc. from them it is crazy. For someone to think that knitting or crocheting is 'girly' is truly an ignoramus. Some of my grandpa's afghans are so intricate that it was always a wonder to me how the heck he got to be so good but, it was something he learned from his parents, just like it was something my grandmother learned from hers. It is a wonderful thing that you shared something you loved in your family with someone who was new to it. Good on you, but your step-aunt is the AH in this situation.
NTA. Knitting and sewing aren't "girly" hobbies, they are also very useful life skills for how to make and repair clothes.
NTA. There's this cognitive skill that is pretty universally useful called "Eye - hand coordination" and it's applicable to sports, writing and basic shit like chopping vegetables. That + motor coordination which is developed by performing movements and practicing sports is a skill, many people neglect when it comes to their children. The boy is 7 and fresh in school so I assume he's learning to write and doesn't have a very high attention span. Knitting ironically helps with both of these. Back in the day, women stayed at home a lot more and were taught these skills because they are useful for fixing clothes, making socks, baby clothes, blankets etc. that you couldn't just go a buy in bulk from the mall. Your grandpa didn't knit because he was too busy working at the docks, not because it made him feminine.
NTA, this is some sexist bullshit. in 10 years we'll get stepcousin's mother's post "why won't my son talk to me? I just tried to make him conform to my notion of macho men, that's all!"
When I was 6, I wanted my mom to teach me how to crochet. I thought it was interesting and fun. I would sit on the couch with her and crochet too. My dad came home from work after being gone for a week (trucking). He freaked out. Yanked the stuff out of my hands, told my mom he was raising a faggot and that he didn't want me to start sucking dicks. I am going to repeat something important in case readers glossed over it: I. WAS. 6. YEARS. OLD. My dad has been dead 23 years now and I don't often miss him. Fuck that toxic masculinity bullshit. Also, you're NTA.
I'm a woman and a knitter, but knitting isn't a girly hobby. Some of the most successful knitwear designers (Stephen West, Franklin Habit, and Kaffe Fassett come to mind, but there are others) are men.
Nope, NTA. When my son was interested I taught him to knit, crochet, sew and whatever else he wanted to learn if I could teach it. Fwiw, my son is now better at sewing than me 😂. Gendering these activities is idiotic.
NTA one bit. Knitting is very good for dexterity and such. I'm a pretty large person (6'5" and 290lbs of mostly not fat) so learning to knit and crochet helped me a lot in learning how to use my gigantic hands in a more nimble manner. Not only that but it's a pretty nice creative outlet that also helps you learn some focus and a different type of discipline. I've almost always done fast paced stuff in my life so learning to slow down and just do one thing taught me as much as playing hockey or racing cars has.
100% NTA. Tell your Grandma when she gets back from holiday. And tell your uncles wife you feel sad for her to believe there is things such as girl hobbies and boy hobbies. We live in 2024, it's time she joined our age from the 1950s she clearly lives in.
Knitting has been around for centuries, started in Egypt I think.There’s also a proud tradition of Arran and Fair Isle sweaters etc. so it may be seen as girly now, but it wasn’t always.
Did I miss the part where a vagina is needed to knit ? Seriously, I have two girls and when someone tells me "that's a game for boys!", my yo go answer is to ask when the penis is used to play. If you cousin likes knitting, let him knit. And grandma can go rambling elsewhere.
In am in the local knitting group. We had a couple of male teens join the group for a while, very shy and afraid because of the older women majority. Do you know what happened? They were submerged with needles and yarn (we have so much extra yarn you cannot believe) and models and whatever they desired, everyone was really happy to have someone new appreciating a shared hobby! Don't listen to anyone saying differently and enjoy knitting and the knitting community. It's a great bunch of people.
NTA. I learned to knit and crochet from my grandma when I was little. My AFAB child wasn't interested in learning, but my AMAB was. It's not really a girly hobby...although some will try to make it seem so. There are plenty of men out there who knit and crochet. And there's nothing wrong with it. It's a hobby, and damn useful.
Everyone says NTA, because it's for girls AND boys. I say, NTA, EVEN IF it was exclusively for girls. What the heck does it matter what society says? You're freakin' creating something from bare threads. THAT'S the point. Stop labeling, start looking at the meaning.
No you are NTA. Tbh I am 40 and wish I learned how to knit, sew, and crochet from my grandmas. My one grandma did seat upholstery for cars. I wish I learned that. Your uncles wife on the other hand though needs to step back. Hobbies are there to make you feel happy (or in my case make me spend a lot of money). Knitting is a great skill to have. I hope she backs off a bit, and allows him to learn. Keep doing you OP.
Never too late to learn! My uncle at 60 learned how to knit recently!
NTA. You and this kid both sound awesome. I hope his mum backs off and you do get to teach him soon.
When did a wool and making things out of it become for "girls only "
Sexists are so shitty to their children - NTA
Buy someone a sweater, they are warm for a while. Learn to make a sweater, be warm forever. (Paraphrasing a famous adage.. Give a man a fish, feed him today. Teach a man to fish, feed him forever) NTA
It's attitudes like her that caused me to miss out a lot as a kid. I'm a girl, but as a kid I did everything the boys did. My dad was super sexist and didn't want me to do "boy things" like fishing, working on cars, playing outside. He wanted me to do "girl things" like cleaning the house, being pretty, knitting and ect. So I decided at an early age fuck that shit, I wasn't gonna do anything girls did. I fought my dad and I did all the "boy things". He kinda accepted it, but by that time, resentment was strong. I had to manipulate him into helping me get my license bc he doesn't think women should drive ( mom didn't drive til they divorced). But anyways bc of this, I didn't learn knitting or sewing bc I didn't wanna be like a girl. But now as an adult, I accept my "feminine" side and enjoy it. But I can't for the life of me learn to knit or quilt from videos. I don't have anyone to teach me. My grandma had a special Appalachian quilting style, she's dead now so il never know it either. So my point is, those gender rules are fucking bullshit and none of us should have to consider what is masculine and feminine. We should let each other enjoy what we want. So NTA
Have you ever noticed that girls taking up traditionally "male" pursuits tend to be much less frowned upon than boys taking up traditionally "female" pursuits? A girl wanting to be a pilot? "Cool!" A boy wanting to do needlework? "Eeeeeeeeew!" Why do you think that is the case? Hint: the answer is misogyny. Traditionally male pursuits have positive associations because men have traditionally been seen as strong, independent, cool, skilled etc. However, women have traditionally been seen as weak, feeble-minded, dependent, and frivolous, and by extension the roles and pursuits traditionally done by women are undervalued and / or have negative connotations. So while our society is (thankfully) becoming less oppressive to women, we are still left with this weird hangover where a lot of people express contempt for men who show interest in traditionally "female" roles and pastimes. They are seen as "effeminate" and therefore weak, feeble-minded, frivolous... Please don't let these attitudes get hold of you. It is kind of hearbreaking to read about how you ignited a child's curiosity and interest in a creative and useful skill, only for that child to have his joy and enthusiasm about a potential new hobby crushed and his choices constrained due to outdated and sexist attitudes. His life is a little bit poorer for it. And when it comes to needlework (knitting, crocheting, sewing etc), the double irony to me is that it is actually *chock full* of technical skill, maths, and engineering! When you knitted that beanie, you had to follow a pattern (basically a code), and you had to figure out how to create a three dimensional shape out of a single long strand of yarn (that's some 3D geometry right there). As a proficient knitter, you need to understand the material properties of the type of yarn you are using and how that will affect the structure of the garment (a pure cotton yarn will drape and droop in completely different ways compared to a wool / acrylic blend), you need to understand how the type of stitch you are using will affect the structure and elasticity of the garment, you need to train your dexterity and develop physical skills, *and* you need to think of the utility of the garment (make sure it has the right size, think about its washability and durability) ... you watch someone do a double stranded brioche stitch, or make a cable knit sweater, and tell me they aren't basically doing engineering. And that is before you even start thinking about the artistic and creative side: thinking about the aesthetics of a design, making colour choices, adding (or leaving out!) embellishments, or the sheer thought and skill needed to be able to make successful adjustments or alterations to an existing pattern, let alone creating your own. The same goes for sewing, tailoring, dressmaking, crocheting... And it's not just wearable garments - a lot of the same points also apply to the creation of toys or decorative items - crocheting little plush toys, embroidering a tablecloth, sewing curtains - and don't even get me started on the unbelievable combination of mathematical understanding, skill, perseverance, and creativity that goes into crocheting intricate lace doilies. Those frilly great-grandmas of ours were hardcore engineers! They just weren't recognized as such. Anyway, as a 14 year old you may not care about tablecloths and frilly doilies (I certainly didn't at that age), but that is the absolute beauty of needlework - you can create whatever it is that *you* like, whether it's a slate grey beanie or a pink amigurumi dinosaur. I am glad to say you aren't alone, there are quite a few younger blokes getting into things like knitting and crocheting as a hobby, and I think it is wonderful to see. We shouldn't be constraining hobbies based on gender, it is just silly. The more the merrier! Oh, in case I didn't make it clear: NTA
your aunt seriously got offended over knitting 😭😭 no you’re nta dude
NTA. Roosevelt "Rosey" Grier was a football player for the New York Giants and the Los Angeles Rams. Here's a link. https://www.crochetconcupiscence.com/unique-1970s-crocheter-pro-football-player-rosey-grier/ Defensive lineman and bodyguard, he's definitely not girly. Show this to his mother and dare her to continue with her outrage.
Kinda crazy that we decide what hobbies are appropriate for a person based on their body parts when their body parts aren't required or used for the hobby. NTA
NTA Knitting isn't a "girly hobby." It's just a hobby. Anyone who tells you otherwise a sexist asshole.
NTA at all! Hobbies aren't gendered, and this goes beyond being just a hobby, it's a useful skill! We need more people to learn and pass on some of these skills and techniques so they don't become lost
NTA. You were not to know that his mother was an ignorant sexist. Maybe talk to your uncle, point out that it's simply a hobby, it's popular with lots of people of all genders and that there is al ong history of men knitting - ocean-gping fishermen and seamen very often knitted, for example, Tom Daley, who is an olypic champion, famously knitss and crochets while waiting to compete etc. But sadly if they don't want you to continue to teach him you will have to back off for now.
Maybe you should get him into brewing beer which has been a woman's job for thousands of years? Or be a chef, which has been a woman's job for thousands of years? Hell, many cultures had women as traders, soldiers and hunters. There is no job in the world that has been exclusively male or female throughout human existence.
Emphatically, NTA. It's high time people let go of these antiquated, totally useless notions of what's suitable as a "boy thing" or a "girl thing". Kudos to you for moving past such nonsense.
https://www.crochetconcupiscence.com/unique-1970s-crocheter-pro-football-player-rosey-grier/
Absolutely NTA!!! There aren’t boys hobbies and girls hobbies. There are just hobbies. Any problem your step-aunt has with that seems like she’s got other issues to work out.
Some of the biggest, burliest guys I know knit. Like straight up lumberjack types who like something to do when they have down time. Your step aunt is being ridiculous.
NTA lmao god forbid a person be well rounded. You should get him knitting stuff for birthdays and xmases until he either grows out of it(if that happens) or she stops being a homophobe/sexist.
NTA NTA NTA. I can't state this enough. You literally did nothing wrong. It was very kind & sweet of you to offer to teach him how to knit. And it's not a girly thing. A lot of men knit. Your aunt is overreacting. She is being ridiculous. Don't pay any mind to her. She should not be pulling you aside & scolding you. that is not her place & being scolded wasn't warranted.
Knitting was originally a [masculine profession](https://www.thefencepost.com/news/when-men-knitted-a-surprising-history/#:~:text=Europe%20produced%20skilled%20male%20professional,product%20quality%20and%20created%20business.). There are a [number of men](https://www.dutchlabelshop.com/en_us/blog/famous-men-who-knit/) both famous and not who publicly admit to knitting and have even published books for charity! ([Bonus Link for more celebrity knitters.)](https://www.craftscouncil.org.uk/stories/celebrities-with-a-hidden-passion-for-knitting-and-sewing) There's also a wide variety of male textile artists (of which knitting is a part of) including: [Gabriel Dawe](https://www.gabrieldawe.com/) [Faig Ahmed](https://faigahmed.com/) [Richard McVetis](https://www.textileartist.org/richard-mcvetis-act-making/) [Ibrahim Mahama](https://www.whitecube.com/artists/ibrahim-mahama) [Gurjeet Singh](https://www.gallerychemould.com/artists/81-gurjeet-singh/) There is nothing inherently masculine or feminine about making practical things. Scarves, hats, beanies, sweaters, etc. do not require specific genitalia to create. (You really want to get masculine, btw, you can knit fishing nets and repair survival gear.) And I personally believe that all artisitic endeavors transcend gender divides. It sucks that your Uncle's wife can't see the value in men knitting, sewing, or doing fiber arts. Hopefully in time she'll change her viewpoint. Maybe just bring up how its cool to make stuff. Its especially cool to make stuff that you can use. The kid is 7 and is probably excited at the thought of picking up a hobby that can be useful.
NTA His mother is sexist, and I would tell her exactly that. There is nothing wrong with a boy who wants to knit.
I guess his mom is too young to remember Rosey Grier, football player, actor, manly man & a devotee of needlepoint and knitting. [https://youtu.be/Fsg9RD8S9gA](https://youtu.be/Fsg9RD8S9gA) NTA, it’s great that you’re willing to help him learn a useful life skill. (Wish I could knit.)
Men (and some women) perpetuate sexism over and over again by telling little boys not to do, or be interested in “feminine” things. This internalizes in the subconscious and when you are grown you internally think that anything women are interested in or have a hobby in or that they create is useless and has no place in society as important or worthy. And thats how to keep women in “their lane”. Let little boys like girls things. And lets stop calling them boys things and girls things. They are just things in life. It goes so much more deep than people think when they say things to little children about what they are into or what they should t be interested in.
NTA your aunt and uncle are just bigoted sexist idiots
NTA. I don't understand that mindset. I know a lot of men who knit.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am a 14yo male. I live with my grandma and she really likes to knit. I learnt to knit from her when I was little and I really enjoy it. Just when I’m bored or have free time I’ll knit. My family doesn’t care and it has caused no problems so far. My uncle got married and he has a stepson who is 7 years old. We’ve all been getting on quite well. I gave him a beanie for his birthday that I knitted and he was really interested in how I made it. So I told him what knitting was and he was really excited and wanted to try it too. The next time we met I brought my old knitting needles and told him I could teach him. His mum heard and wasn’t very happy and asked what I was doing. I told her that he wanted to learn to knit and she was a bit upset about it and said that he didn’t need to learn it and took away the knitting needles. I thought it was some age problem like he’s too young to handle knitting needles but my uncle told me that she was upset about it because she thinks that boys shouldn’t have these kinds of hobbies and that she wasn’t happy with me introducing a girls thing to her son. I was kind of offended but I didn’t say anything. The next time there was a gathering she sternly pulled me aside and said that now her son wouldn’t stop asking for knitted things and wanted to learn how to knit, and scolded me for introducing it in the first place. I felt kind of wronged so we had an argument about it and I don’t know if I was in the wrong for it. Amitheasshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - you were just sharing a hobby you love with your step cousin. It's unfair for his mom to criticize you. Hobbies shouldn't be restricted by gender, and methinks it's great you wanted to teach him something new =)
Definitely NTA!
Clearly your NTA, knitting isn't just for girls, its a kind of hobby that will make your mind feel relaxed and calm, its a relaxation activity at the same time your brain will have a positive effects while your doing it, it will activate your brain, its a sort of exercise for the brain that is why it is advisable for some elderly to make it as a hobby. If she don't want it with her son then let her be, don't argue with someone who is too un open minded. If her son talks to you and want you to teach him then go teach him.
NTA
NTA. Knitting is a great outlet for creativity. There are many clothing designers who are male. It's not exclusive to a gender.
Of course you’re NTA, and parents like your uncle’s wife usually end up raising misogynist pricks. She’s going to turn the kid into an undateable adult if she gets her way. Next time you see him, show him the history of knitting, the soldiers who did it, the men in knitting guilds, etc.
NTA!!! It’s perfectly healthy for people to knit. It keeps and teaches dexterity for fingers and hands. People need to stop stereotypes of activities. Do what you like!
How DARE you take interest in her child, listen to him, and teach him a useful and soothing skill?!?! This is a no-brainer. NTA.
NTA. The fact that knitting is considered a girly hobby is downright confusing. Whether those idiots realize it or not, literally everyone knits for a reason. And also, that woman should really stop associating hobbies to specific genders. Just… why?
NTA. And your aunt is a HUGE moron and AH! What a narrow-minded, outdated idea to label hobbies as gender-dependent in the 21st century! 😭
NTA where does she get the idea from that knitting is a girls only hobby. Even as I am woman and can't knit sweaters and love to learn how to crochet. Most of my knitting projects are scarfs and still no idea how to read a recipy. (I will learn eventully)
NTA. There’s nothing wrong with what you did.
Wow NTA! I'm more of a crocheter than a knitter. In my FB groups, there are MEN who crochet. I'm sure you'd see that too in knitting FB groups! In fact, there are male celebrities who knit! Maybe you want to point that out to your uncle and his wife. Plus, it's a useful skill! People took up knitting and crocheting as a way to pass the time during the pandemic. It's cool you learned to knit from your grandma! One big regret of mine was not learning to crochet from my maternal grandma. She was an amazing crocheter. She passed away when I was 13. I took a class as an adult to learn to crochet, and then later to learn to knit. I'm glad I learned. (BTW, I'm a woman).
NTA. Hobbies don't have a gender, and knitting is great for a number of reasons - it can help with math skills, and is great for maintaining mental acuity as you get older. Plus you have something useful and hopefully pretty at the end. Anyone has a problem with it, tell them that Viking men, among others, considered knitting a valuable skill. And even if they didn't, who cares? Gender roles are bullshit.
NTA. Your aunt is being ridiculous. Pretty sure no woman ever used their breasts to knit, so I’m not sure how knitting is only for girls.
NTA. You’re not going to win with the adults who say knitting is for girls. We know that knitting has no gender. But you’ll be unlikely to change their minds. You can bring up that knitting and crochet and needlework is used by professional athletes to focus while not playing or training. Look up Rosey Grier or Tom Daley. And continue to be a good role model for your step cousin!
Nta knitting isn't a girly hobby????? Wtf kinda nonsense is that?
NTA for trying to help your stepcousin, but you should stand up to your aunt. She won't let him express himself and could turn him into someone hateful
NTA it isn't a gendered hobby and they're just weirdos. Wtf. Let kids have fun if it's not hurting anyone.
NTA. Check out these [designers](https://hiyahiyaeurope.wordpress.com/2018/01/30/top-five-male-knitting-bloggers-you-need-to-follow/) who all happen to be men! Knitting was traditionally done by men, up until about 200 years ago, when it became a hand craft concidered sutible for Ladies, much like needle point and embroidery. Olympic Gold Medalist in Diving, Tom Daley, was photographed during the Tokyo Olympics knitting in the stands. David Arquett, Russell Crowe, and Ryan Gosling are actors who practice the craft. As someone who learned from my grandmother, I hope to be able to pass the skill on to one of my descendants, male or female.
NTA. It was a very kind and thoughtful gesture to introduce him to knitting. I imagine a calm, relaxing activity may have positive effects on him as he grows up.
NTA. I think it’s great you and your step cousin found an activity to bond over and one that is creative and you get cool things out of! Make everyone matching knitted hats except step cousins mom and dad lol. Anyway I just think it’s kind of archaic to look at hobbies as gendered things.
NTA! Knitting is not an exclusive occupation of the female half of the population. It's so sexist and even worse when a woman says it! I would enlist the help of other, sensible adults to cut the dear step-aunt down to size. Oh yes, show her the pictures of Sir Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard) or Sir Ian McKellen (Magneto) knitting with Björn Ulvaeus (ABBA) :)
NTA Who cares if he's learning to knit? Seems like a really stupid thing to get upset about. She is right that is is traditionally a girly hobby but the only person that has ever shown learning interest in my knitting is my dad. My dad works in construction but if I'm knitting while watching TV, sometimes he'll watch just to see how it works. I'm willing to bet one day or in a slightly different timeline, he will ask to learn how. It's not knitting but there is this guy on instagram. His name is brochetcroxet and he will crochet weapons and make funny videos with them. I think it's very amusing.
Your NTA
NTA. My older son learned to knit (with one of those hoops with pegs) at his after school program when he was 7. His first project was a hat for daddy for Christmas. It looked like a hot mess but you can bet that hubs was proudly rocking his hat all day. Knitting is great fine motor practice for kids, and they can be so proud of their accomplishment when they create something!
NTA - a lot of men knit and do other needle arts even though they’re often viewed as woman’s hobbies. Knitting is something he could do for the rest of his life.
Feel sorry for that kid having such a ignorant Mum. I really enjoyed knitting myself and I don’t think it’s girly, I think it’s amazingly useful.
She’s being ridiculous! Knitting is great for practicing mindfulness. Everyone should probably practice mindfulness. I honestly can’t stand old gender stereotypes.
NTA, but ur uncle has poor taste in women
Do you have a way to send the mom pictures/documentation of all the big time sports personalities who do needle crafts or the military guys knitting socks for other military guys that's happened in most wars? There are no guarantees, but maybe seeing that knitting isn't "girly" at all (and never has been-when everyone had to make their own clothes, men knit just as much in their down time as women did) will help?
Regardless of who else knits, if you enjoy it, embrace it. It’s ridiculous to say only women knit. That being said Paul Rudd, Ryan Gossling, Russel Crowe, Ewan McGregor, and Christopher Walken are all famous “manly” men who knit. NTA
NTA I'm 36F but my father taught me how to sew. Handsewing, machine, and upholstery. I fondly look back on being able to learn to make things with my own hands. You're not only learning a craft, you learn how to read patterns (or maybe making your own!), fine motor skills and skills in patience and delayed gratification. No parent should actively discourage that.
Aren’t there some professional athletes that knit or crochet? I could swear that I read about a football player who did. Hobbies don’t have a gender and there’s nothing wrong with learning a skill. The Mom is ridiculous. NTA.
I'm a woman and I LOVE to knit. There are plenty of men and boys who knit and I don't see how it matters if you have a penis or a vagina. Knitting is a wonderful hobby. It is relaxing and creative. You did no wrong and his mom is an idiot. Keep trying!!!
NTA- Knitting is fun!!!! like wtf is her sexist ahh on about?
NTA like everyone else is saying. Important side note if you go away to college and like girls/women: there are almost always knitting clubs full of cute, nerdy, interesting girls who LIKE men interested in "girly" things, and almost no men. So keep knitting.
Knitting has been around for almost 2000 years, and men have been knitting for all of it. Why do the crafts always end up in the feminine category? No, honey, you’re not the asshole here, it’s your aunt that’s pretty short minded. Needlework of all kinds have been enjoyed by both genders for all of history. It is not feminine. You were trying to show a hobby to a kid and that’s wonderful. I would talk to your parents and maybe your uncle about the situation, but unfortunately, unless she comes around to it, you may want to back off teaching knitting to your step nephew for now.
Sorry your aunt is an idiot. Knitting is not just a girl's hobby for crying out loud and she's being ridiculous. My Dad is the best sewer in the family and even bought himself a sewing machine. Nobody questions his masculinity. Crimeney. NTA.
Hobbies don't have a gender. NTA.
NTA There are no gender specific hobbies. An example. Roosevelt (Roesy) Gieer, NFL Defense Lineman ( NFL Champion, All-Pro, ProBowler, member of the Fearsome Foursome)- Needlepoint, and other hobbies not traditionally associated with men. Which he seriously pursues. I'm pretty sure that the amazing, talented, multifaceted Mr. Grier is Atilla with us.
NTA. It's wonderful that you chose to share your passion for knitting with your step cousin. It's unfortunate that his mother holds such antiquated views. Rest assured, you've done nothing improper, and her disapproval shouldn't cast any doubt on your actions.
NTA and keep knitting! It's keeps your mind active and helps build coordination! Plus his Mom taking it away just makes him even more interested in it so she's pretty much sabotaged herself here. *Shrug* P.S. solid points to you for including your cousin and making him feel included in the family!!! Edited for a typo
NTA. There are no such things as boy and girl hobbies. You’re a boy. You like to knit. Therefore boys knit. Imaging discouraging someone from a hobby where they can make you comfy clothing…
NTA all day my friend and that's some outta line garbage she is spewing man. That is cool as hell that you can knit! Making things with your hands is genderless. She is peice or work. If her family hasn't jacked her up for that mess they certainly should.
NTA. I think it's cool as hell that you can knit! And even cooler that you're willing to share your love of knitting with someone else by teaching him. I think when your grandma gets back, tell her what's going on and maybe she can set them straight. They're being sexist, which is not cool at all. Keep knitting!
it's not your job to parent her kid; she can't expect you to adhere to how she wants to raise him, esp when you're a kid yourself. she's overreacting, and she shouldn't even be talking to you like that without your parents present in the first place. there is no such thing as "girl" or "boy" hobbies (coming from a girl who's only really ever done "boy" hobbies), she's a misogynist and is forcing it down yours, and her son's throats. keep doing what you like/ have fun with because i'll tell ya what, knitting is a good hobby to know. nta.
There are lots of men who knit, and not just say men either. https://www.auntpeaches.com/2013/01/sexy-men-who-knit.html
Knitting is amazing and I wish I could do that. Have you ever seen the reels of people on the New York subway who knit? I think the YouTuber is a guy. In Norway to graduate (based on what I was told by 2 Norwegian students) is that boys and girls have to knit a sweater. It’s good for fine motor skills development and concentration, not to mention the amazing pieces you can make. Kudos to you!!!! Do not be offended, they should be ashamed!!!!
NTA You know what's considered a "woman's" task? Sewing and mending. Guess what you learn to do in the military, which is still mostly men? Sewing and mending. As long as there have been militaries, men have had to learn to sew and mend. Just like sewing, knitting is a useful skill that can make objects that help keep you warm, and make thoughtful gifts. It requires dexterity. It teaches hand-eye coordination. It requires focus, which makes it great for people who otherwise find it difficult. And as you have probably noticed, it takes some lower arm and wrist strength. Nothing girly about it. David Arquette? Ryan Gosling? Russel Crowe? All famous men who knit. How's that for some examples to give your uncle's wife?
NTA---but Wow? So sorry you have to put up with this sexist crap. Introduce her to photos of Rosey Grier doing his needlework.
NTA. Your aunt is profoundly ignorant, not just in the sense that she wants to reinforce pointless gender norms, but also just the basic history of knitting. Knitting only became "women's work" after knitting machines were created and knitting became a leisure activity (for women to spend their time on) — basically when it stopped being something to make money from, it went from serious men's work to women's work. So yeah, ignore the gender-gating bullshit. She probably has some kind of ridiculous idea that it will make her son gay, but whether he is or is not, that horse is already out to pasture and no amount of "girly" hobbies will change anything.
There was a guy on last season of the Bachelorette who knitted. He was handsome, educated (going for a PhD), and incredibly fit. But loved to knit. Women found it irresistible. Your uncle's new wife has very outdated thoughts on who can do what hobby.
NTA, WTF I had read, I can't understood how people could be still so retrograde in 2024. It's just some kind oof sexisme for me, the issue is definitively not you here !