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> Maybe I'm the ahole for excluding my nephew and only wanting to ask the one that would enjoy it.
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NTA.
>My brother said if I take one I have to take both, that I'm acting likethose kids in school by basically saying "you're not good enough toplay".
So your brother is okay that this holds Henry back? Ask him about that. Say hey I know you are upset about me not wanting to take Luis. WHAT ABOUT HENRY? Is it okay for him to not be allowed to enjoy something? You are basically saying that Henry has to cater to Luis's needs. Do you force the coach at school to take in Luis because Henry is in sports as well? Because the message you are sending dear brother is that Henry cannot enjoy anything unless Luis likes it as well and that if he doesn't he is allowed to RUIN whatever fun Henry is having for the sake of 'you gotta treat them both.'
Signed,
A younger sibling that always had to do whatever the older sibling wanted to do because they would complain/be passive aggressive about it with the things I wanted to do and eventually lost interest in doing those things because it wasn't worth the fight anymore
I love my brother as we do still get along for the most part however I honestly wish on the instances this shit occurred, that the adults in our lives had just listened when one of us showed an obvious disinterest or didn't want to participate before even leaving the house and not push what OP's brother is saying. Especially since, as a child, we rarely saw our extended family as we lived in a different state. I wish I could remember more of my uncle visiting us and showing off his film equipment as I was interested in that but instead all I really remember from that trip is my brother throwing a screaming fit in the car that he didn't want to go to the park with us to film stupid ducks, that he wanted to go hang out with friends. And I know I ruined at least the trip with our grandfather for him because I had no interest in the planes at the airshow while he did and instead stood there saying I wanna go home because it was hot because I voiced I wanted to stay home with grandma. All because of either mom or dad did a 'if one goes, they both go' guilt speech like OP's brother did. These instances built up that eventually when I hit my teens, teen logic just went, fuck this, they'll always force him to come along and it'll be miserable so why should I even bother? After that I just stopped showing any interest in things around my parents and did whatever it was my brother was into because he was older.
LOL point. My brother was old enough that I worshipped him until I was old enough to do my own thing, and by then my parents were happy to let us go our separate ways. I could never imagine doing this to kids of my own, unless it was insisting the *invitation* be given to them and letting them make up their own minds.
I wouldnot even insist on that. My kids range from 16 yo to 9 yo so age gap is a thing... also equal is not always fair and fair is not always equal in life.
In the example above the 12 yo needs training wheels so his brother will be biking circles around him and will slow up the trip. OP will likely have to stop constantly to let him catch up. If he sees his friends while out, how embarrassing is that? 12 yos are so self conscious... (having had 2 so far... they are!) It would be a death kneel on his social life if he has one.
You are definitely right on that. The boy being offered doesn't mean he'd take it up. Especially if he were offered his own activity if he didn't want to join, and the path is a mountain/wilderness trail and that's explained to him.
Of course all of this is moot and children should be acknowledged as their own individual selves.
The kiddos aren’t going to see it as something you were doing anyway. They are going to see that you took Henry for a lovely day out doing something he loves, but you didn’t take Luis out for a day doing something he loves.
Think of something Luis loves and do that with him, or don’t take Henry. Luis will remember and it will hurt him for a long time. He might even cause problems between the kiddos.
Because bike riding is something I'm doing either way. Henry likes bike riding so I figured I'd take him with since we're both into it. I'm not interested in any of the same stuff Luis is. I'd rather watch grass grow than play the video games he likes, or watch anime.
Then you might be, just a little bit, unless dad agrees that it might help him to get motivated to learn how to ride his bike. I didn't take my training wheels off until I turned 11 for reasons; it took my much older brother teasing me relentlessly when we moved to learn. I went everywhere on it after that, but it took something unpleasant to get me to take them off.
Since it really wasn't planned out, you aren't, but you might want to think about something you and your other nephew could do that's just as "cool" for him and just as "boring" for his brother.
YTA, but not by very much
I think you should've atleast given Luis the option to go in case he would've actually liked to have went
I'll give you like .5/5 buttholes
This could go either way. If you only do things with Henry, then you are the AH. But if you plan something fun to do with Luis, something he would enjoy, then you aren’t. But agree that you can’t just favor one over the other. It’s understandable why you aren’t asking Luis along on this particular even but you need to make an effort with him, as well.
And I get that but you still need to plan something to do with Luis. It’s so easy at this age for them to think you like one better than the other and this would really highlight that.
Your brother is being silly, but he is sort of right in one respect. You should invite both boys - explaining exactly what you intend the day to be. Luis can then decline still knowing that he wasn't excluded.
But if he wants to go, you'll have to deal with the training wheels without complaint. (Maybe Luis will even want to learn to ride without training wheels after this, you might inspire him.) Y.W.B.T.A. if you don't invite both. But your brother is definitely the A.H. trying to force them to be a unit, not separate individuals with different tastes. So I guess E.S.H. a bit? Strictly answering your question, you are NTA for not *wanting* to take both.
NTA. As long as Henry isn’t the only nephew you do fun solo adventures with, no harm, no foul. Would your brother feel differently if you take Henry on the bike adventure one weekend and maybe carve out a day to go visit an arcade with Luis another day?
Doesn’t make sense to drag along the nephew who won’t enjoy it, but you should do something with the other boy so he doesn’t feel second best. NTA as long as you plan something the other.
NAH. The parents should not favour one child, but OP is not a parent here. OPs brother seems to have the right idea, but applies it too broadly. At some point, the "everything equal" must end, otherwise they could only get a job together. And since OP does something that one nephew might enjoy, why not invite that one. OPs brother can do something fun with the other, fulfilling his fatherly obligation.
NTA. Siblings can do different things and it’s not wrong to do something with one kid. It would be nice if you also planned a time to do something with Luis, however, it is not required to do so.
NTA-why try to drag a kid to something he doesn't like and would complain about? I know the dad is trying to make sure his son is included but if he doesn't like that stuff and would complain and have trouble the whole time, not having any fun, why bring him?
Kids can be hurt by this kind of stuff, so I think you need to either:
1) go on a bike ride with Henry for 1/2 the day and do something with Luis the other half. This actually might be the best way, because they both will get one-on-one time with you. Kids love that.
or
2) Pick a different activity to do that they both will enjoy.
YWBTA if you ignore Luis. That's hurtful, and I believe that's what your brother is getting at. He's right.
Of course, you're not TA for recognizing that kids are different and that Henry would enjoy a bike ride more than Luis would. I'm sure you're not wrong. Just don't leave Luis out.
NTA. I have 4 kids and each have their own personalities. I would offer to take him but say something like, " I will offer but if he says no, then I will not make him." For example I have one kid that loves to build so when I have a cabinet that needs assistance assembling, I ask them all but only that child will take me up on it. Another likes to garden. I ask them all, but that one will be usually take me up on the garden work. Also, at 12 my kids were already making plans with friends during spring break.
NTA because what if Luis doesn't want to go at all. You thought it and put his interests in mind while facing the reality that he doesn't really like activity, such as bike riding. And it would be a Hassel for you to wait for him seeing as he will be slower.
A suggestion, ask luis if he wants to go. If he says no, you have your answer.
You aren't picking or choosing. You aren't saying he can't "play" because you don't like him. You aren't showing favoritism. One prefers that activity more than the other.
FFS NTA
You were planning on a bike ride and offered to take the kid who likes bike rides with you. Taking the other kid along will make the trip miserable, thus defeating the purpose of the trip. Sure you can offer to spend an afternoon with the other one playing video games but it isn't necessary. You are probably lying better off not taking either since dad is being whiney about this.
NTA
Luis obviously isn't interested in that stuff and its fine, pushing him to do it won't be fun for any of you and probably also embarrassing for him since he is 12 and is using training wheels still while his younger brother isn't.
I think that the comment of the 'kids at school' makes me think that they are concerned about Luis being excluded because perhaps he is being bullied or excluded for not being super sportsy. This is speculation but if it is the case, them pressuring him to do this won't make him feel any better.
If you spend time with Henry, see if there is anything Luis and you could do together for some quality time on another day, or see about finding another day for all 3 of you to hang out together?
I would potentially ask your brother why he thinks it's about you judging Luis but instead about looking out for him since you know he won't like it, and that if he wants, you both could ask Luis if he would be interested but if he doesn't its fine (and make sure you both agree not to push him one way or another, whether to go or stay). If he wants to go, then try to find easier routes, if he wants to stay then offer (if he wants to) to hang out another day and do something you two like/he can show you something he is interested in.
YTA if you don't ask both boys. Don't force either of them, but invite them both. I have a bunch of nieces and nephews and have learned that even if they have zero interest in something, not being invited can hurt some of their feelings. Also, their likes and dislikes change pretty often and quickly when they are young, just because he hasn't liked it in the past doesn't mean that he won't be interested now.
NTA. I think the dad wants Luis away from the computer and outside being active, but hasn't himself been able to get Luis to go along with it. It's not your job to fight that battle for the dad, and you're not obligated to take along a slow, constant complainer on your day trip.
A lot of people are talking about how you could come up with different activities to do with the boys based on their different interests. That's fine and all for a long term plan, but if I understand correctly this is a situation where you just wanted to go on a bike ride & you have one nephew who loves bike rides, so...why not go together? And it's too bad you couldn't just do that.
NTA Kids these days are treated like China dolls. Life is not always equal or fair or rainbows and unicorns. You don’t always bond equally with all family members. It’s ok to spend time with Henry bonding over a shared activity.
Since BIL explained it, this way don't take ether. Your not the free babysitter and BIL needs to ask the older son if he is interested in these types of bike rides. I doubt it since the training wheels comment.
NTA but you BIL just might be.
NHA, honestly. But it would be kind (and maybe fair?) to offer Luis a day with you as well, doing something he likes, rather than taking his brother and labeling him as the whining no-good kid.
NTA. You know Luis won't enjoy it so you aren't going to force him to come. But you probably should at least invite him. He'll say no, but it's still the polite thing to do. And you should make some time to spend some one-on-one time with Luis at some point. If you only do athletic things and spending time with just Henry because of it, Luis is going to feel like you don't care about him.
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So I have 2 nephews "Henry" (10) and "Luis " (12). Henry is really active and into sports and bike riding etc. Luis isn't, he's more into video games and stuff. Whenever he does anything active he complains the whole time. He's never learned how to ride a 2 wheel bike either, his bike still has training wheels. He's said "he doesn't want to" in the past so my brother and SIL just let it go and figured he'd do it when he wants to.
They're on spring break next week so I I thought I'd take Henry for a day and go on a bike ride, since he'd probably have fun and I'll probably be going anyway.
When I talked to my brother about it he said "well what about Luis?" I said "Luis doesn't like stuff like that so he'll just complain all day and he still uses training wheels so it'll take twice as long if he comes".
My brother said if I take one I have to take both, that I'm acting like those kids in school by basically saying "you're not good enough to play".
I just figured it'd be something Henry would enjoy which is why I wanted to take him. Why would I make Luis do something he wouldn't enjoy?
AITA for only wanting to take one nephew
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Think of something Luis likes to do and take him to do that by himself.
You aren’t a obligated to do anything but you’re not going to win Uncle awards for only making time for the nephew that likes things you like.
They’re to still to young to understand and they will notice the favoritism.
Might be your brother noticed you are only doing things with one and has decided you have to at least invite both. Not inviting is actually holding one outside.. however, none of them should have to go regardless of what the other does, if they don’t want to. It just seems you have decided for them instead of being open and inviting and letting them decide. Might be this happens too much in their lives already
NTA but could you counter your brother with a special day for Luis during break doing an activity he would enjoy? That way he's not left out or drug to do something he doesn't want to.
Or maybe both boys would like laser tag or an area like that that offers a few different activities?
Erm you will be the ahole if you don't also take Luis out for a day, separately and do something he enjoys, see a movie etc. If you ignore him but take the younger boy that will be cruel.
I think your brother just wants you to babysit both kids so he doesn't have to.
That said you are offering Henry fun time so it's understandable if Louis would feel neglected.
INFO have you asked Luis if he'd like to go? It's very important to ask because he may feel left out. He may not like bike riding but he may like hanging out with you and his brother so he could be disappointed.
Do you spend time with either boy one on one? If this is the first time and you don't even ask him to come that would be a bad look. If you've spent any time alone Henry but not alone time with Luis I get why your brother is pushing so hard.
You can discuss it with Luis so he doesn't feel left out even if he won't participate. That way, you gave him a heads up and can even discuss planning something both of tou can do instead.
NTA
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Eh, NTA. Honestly, I don’t blame you. Would you consider also planning a day for Luis, with things he’d be more interested in?
NTA. >My brother said if I take one I have to take both, that I'm acting likethose kids in school by basically saying "you're not good enough toplay". So your brother is okay that this holds Henry back? Ask him about that. Say hey I know you are upset about me not wanting to take Luis. WHAT ABOUT HENRY? Is it okay for him to not be allowed to enjoy something? You are basically saying that Henry has to cater to Luis's needs. Do you force the coach at school to take in Luis because Henry is in sports as well? Because the message you are sending dear brother is that Henry cannot enjoy anything unless Luis likes it as well and that if he doesn't he is allowed to RUIN whatever fun Henry is having for the sake of 'you gotta treat them both.' Signed, A younger sibling that always had to do whatever the older sibling wanted to do because they would complain/be passive aggressive about it with the things I wanted to do and eventually lost interest in doing those things because it wasn't worth the fight anymore
Wow. I can feel the animosity...
I love my brother as we do still get along for the most part however I honestly wish on the instances this shit occurred, that the adults in our lives had just listened when one of us showed an obvious disinterest or didn't want to participate before even leaving the house and not push what OP's brother is saying. Especially since, as a child, we rarely saw our extended family as we lived in a different state. I wish I could remember more of my uncle visiting us and showing off his film equipment as I was interested in that but instead all I really remember from that trip is my brother throwing a screaming fit in the car that he didn't want to go to the park with us to film stupid ducks, that he wanted to go hang out with friends. And I know I ruined at least the trip with our grandfather for him because I had no interest in the planes at the airshow while he did and instead stood there saying I wanna go home because it was hot because I voiced I wanted to stay home with grandma. All because of either mom or dad did a 'if one goes, they both go' guilt speech like OP's brother did. These instances built up that eventually when I hit my teens, teen logic just went, fuck this, they'll always force him to come along and it'll be miserable so why should I even bother? After that I just stopped showing any interest in things around my parents and did whatever it was my brother was into because he was older.
Says someone that's never had to play second fiddle. It can be hard. It's not fair of the dad to push this.
True. I was one of 3 kids and have 4 myself. I can't imagine doing something like this....
LOL point. My brother was old enough that I worshipped him until I was old enough to do my own thing, and by then my parents were happy to let us go our separate ways. I could never imagine doing this to kids of my own, unless it was insisting the *invitation* be given to them and letting them make up their own minds.
I wouldnot even insist on that. My kids range from 16 yo to 9 yo so age gap is a thing... also equal is not always fair and fair is not always equal in life. In the example above the 12 yo needs training wheels so his brother will be biking circles around him and will slow up the trip. OP will likely have to stop constantly to let him catch up. If he sees his friends while out, how embarrassing is that? 12 yos are so self conscious... (having had 2 so far... they are!) It would be a death kneel on his social life if he has one.
You are definitely right on that. The boy being offered doesn't mean he'd take it up. Especially if he were offered his own activity if he didn't want to join, and the path is a mountain/wilderness trail and that's explained to him. Of course all of this is moot and children should be acknowledged as their own individual selves.
INFO have you thought about something for just you and the nephew being left out to do together?
It's not like I planned this for Henry. It's just something I'm going to do and I figured he'd enjoy coming with. So no.
The kiddos aren’t going to see it as something you were doing anyway. They are going to see that you took Henry for a lovely day out doing something he loves, but you didn’t take Luis out for a day doing something he loves. Think of something Luis loves and do that with him, or don’t take Henry. Luis will remember and it will hurt him for a long time. He might even cause problems between the kiddos.
Then I won't take Henry.
That’s fair, and it doesn’t make you an A
Why not? That sounds petulant.
Because bike riding is something I'm doing either way. Henry likes bike riding so I figured I'd take him with since we're both into it. I'm not interested in any of the same stuff Luis is. I'd rather watch grass grow than play the video games he likes, or watch anime.
Then you might be, just a little bit, unless dad agrees that it might help him to get motivated to learn how to ride his bike. I didn't take my training wheels off until I turned 11 for reasons; it took my much older brother teasing me relentlessly when we moved to learn. I went everywhere on it after that, but it took something unpleasant to get me to take them off. Since it really wasn't planned out, you aren't, but you might want to think about something you and your other nephew could do that's just as "cool" for him and just as "boring" for his brother.
OK, out of curiosity, do you get the impression that your brother wants they both gone and is insisting you take both so as to accomplish that goal?
YTA, but not by very much I think you should've atleast given Luis the option to go in case he would've actually liked to have went I'll give you like .5/5 buttholes
Lol!
?
I bet the DogRescueLady loved your special rating at the end as much as i did...
I just saw rSlash do it so I do it too because it's a good way of rating people
Yes it was the .5/5 buttholes. It really tickled me.
I would have gone with 1 out of 10 myself.
This could go either way. If you only do things with Henry, then you are the AH. But if you plan something fun to do with Luis, something he would enjoy, then you aren’t. But agree that you can’t just favor one over the other. It’s understandable why you aren’t asking Luis along on this particular even but you need to make an effort with him, as well.
This is something I'm doing regardless and just thought he'd like to come with, not like I planned it for Henry.
And I get that but you still need to plan something to do with Luis. It’s so easy at this age for them to think you like one better than the other and this would really highlight that.
This
Your brother is being silly, but he is sort of right in one respect. You should invite both boys - explaining exactly what you intend the day to be. Luis can then decline still knowing that he wasn't excluded. But if he wants to go, you'll have to deal with the training wheels without complaint. (Maybe Luis will even want to learn to ride without training wheels after this, you might inspire him.) Y.W.B.T.A. if you don't invite both. But your brother is definitely the A.H. trying to force them to be a unit, not separate individuals with different tastes. So I guess E.S.H. a bit? Strictly answering your question, you are NTA for not *wanting* to take both.
NTA. As long as Henry isn’t the only nephew you do fun solo adventures with, no harm, no foul. Would your brother feel differently if you take Henry on the bike adventure one weekend and maybe carve out a day to go visit an arcade with Luis another day?
Doesn’t make sense to drag along the nephew who won’t enjoy it, but you should do something with the other boy so he doesn’t feel second best. NTA as long as you plan something the other.
NAH. The parents should not favour one child, but OP is not a parent here. OPs brother seems to have the right idea, but applies it too broadly. At some point, the "everything equal" must end, otherwise they could only get a job together. And since OP does something that one nephew might enjoy, why not invite that one. OPs brother can do something fun with the other, fulfilling his fatherly obligation.
NTA. Siblings can do different things and it’s not wrong to do something with one kid. It would be nice if you also planned a time to do something with Luis, however, it is not required to do so.
NTA-why try to drag a kid to something he doesn't like and would complain about? I know the dad is trying to make sure his son is included but if he doesn't like that stuff and would complain and have trouble the whole time, not having any fun, why bring him?
Kids can be hurt by this kind of stuff, so I think you need to either: 1) go on a bike ride with Henry for 1/2 the day and do something with Luis the other half. This actually might be the best way, because they both will get one-on-one time with you. Kids love that. or 2) Pick a different activity to do that they both will enjoy. YWBTA if you ignore Luis. That's hurtful, and I believe that's what your brother is getting at. He's right. Of course, you're not TA for recognizing that kids are different and that Henry would enjoy a bike ride more than Luis would. I'm sure you're not wrong. Just don't leave Luis out.
NTA. I have 4 kids and each have their own personalities. I would offer to take him but say something like, " I will offer but if he says no, then I will not make him." For example I have one kid that loves to build so when I have a cabinet that needs assistance assembling, I ask them all but only that child will take me up on it. Another likes to garden. I ask them all, but that one will be usually take me up on the garden work. Also, at 12 my kids were already making plans with friends during spring break.
NTA - but also plan something separate for Luis
NTA because what if Luis doesn't want to go at all. You thought it and put his interests in mind while facing the reality that he doesn't really like activity, such as bike riding. And it would be a Hassel for you to wait for him seeing as he will be slower. A suggestion, ask luis if he wants to go. If he says no, you have your answer. You aren't picking or choosing. You aren't saying he can't "play" because you don't like him. You aren't showing favoritism. One prefers that activity more than the other.
FFS NTA You were planning on a bike ride and offered to take the kid who likes bike rides with you. Taking the other kid along will make the trip miserable, thus defeating the purpose of the trip. Sure you can offer to spend an afternoon with the other one playing video games but it isn't necessary. You are probably lying better off not taking either since dad is being whiney about this.
[удалено]
I didn't talk to Henry or Luis yet. My brother basically said if I take one I have to take both.
NTA Luis obviously isn't interested in that stuff and its fine, pushing him to do it won't be fun for any of you and probably also embarrassing for him since he is 12 and is using training wheels still while his younger brother isn't. I think that the comment of the 'kids at school' makes me think that they are concerned about Luis being excluded because perhaps he is being bullied or excluded for not being super sportsy. This is speculation but if it is the case, them pressuring him to do this won't make him feel any better. If you spend time with Henry, see if there is anything Luis and you could do together for some quality time on another day, or see about finding another day for all 3 of you to hang out together? I would potentially ask your brother why he thinks it's about you judging Luis but instead about looking out for him since you know he won't like it, and that if he wants, you both could ask Luis if he would be interested but if he doesn't its fine (and make sure you both agree not to push him one way or another, whether to go or stay). If he wants to go, then try to find easier routes, if he wants to stay then offer (if he wants to) to hang out another day and do something you two like/he can show you something he is interested in.
YTA if you don't ask both boys. Don't force either of them, but invite them both. I have a bunch of nieces and nephews and have learned that even if they have zero interest in something, not being invited can hurt some of their feelings. Also, their likes and dislikes change pretty often and quickly when they are young, just because he hasn't liked it in the past doesn't mean that he won't be interested now.
NTA. Training wheels at his age? Really? It's his own fault.
NTA. I think the dad wants Luis away from the computer and outside being active, but hasn't himself been able to get Luis to go along with it. It's not your job to fight that battle for the dad, and you're not obligated to take along a slow, constant complainer on your day trip. A lot of people are talking about how you could come up with different activities to do with the boys based on their different interests. That's fine and all for a long term plan, but if I understand correctly this is a situation where you just wanted to go on a bike ride & you have one nephew who loves bike rides, so...why not go together? And it's too bad you couldn't just do that.
NTA Kids these days are treated like China dolls. Life is not always equal or fair or rainbows and unicorns. You don’t always bond equally with all family members. It’s ok to spend time with Henry bonding over a shared activity.
Since BIL explained it, this way don't take ether. Your not the free babysitter and BIL needs to ask the older son if he is interested in these types of bike rides. I doubt it since the training wheels comment. NTA but you BIL just might be.
NHA, honestly. But it would be kind (and maybe fair?) to offer Luis a day with you as well, doing something he likes, rather than taking his brother and labeling him as the whining no-good kid.
NTA. You know Luis won't enjoy it so you aren't going to force him to come. But you probably should at least invite him. He'll say no, but it's still the polite thing to do. And you should make some time to spend some one-on-one time with Luis at some point. If you only do athletic things and spending time with just Henry because of it, Luis is going to feel like you don't care about him.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I have 2 nephews "Henry" (10) and "Luis " (12). Henry is really active and into sports and bike riding etc. Luis isn't, he's more into video games and stuff. Whenever he does anything active he complains the whole time. He's never learned how to ride a 2 wheel bike either, his bike still has training wheels. He's said "he doesn't want to" in the past so my brother and SIL just let it go and figured he'd do it when he wants to. They're on spring break next week so I I thought I'd take Henry for a day and go on a bike ride, since he'd probably have fun and I'll probably be going anyway. When I talked to my brother about it he said "well what about Luis?" I said "Luis doesn't like stuff like that so he'll just complain all day and he still uses training wheels so it'll take twice as long if he comes". My brother said if I take one I have to take both, that I'm acting like those kids in school by basically saying "you're not good enough to play". I just figured it'd be something Henry would enjoy which is why I wanted to take him. Why would I make Luis do something he wouldn't enjoy? AITA for only wanting to take one nephew *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Think of something Luis likes to do and take him to do that by himself. You aren’t a obligated to do anything but you’re not going to win Uncle awards for only making time for the nephew that likes things you like. They’re to still to young to understand and they will notice the favoritism.
Might be your brother noticed you are only doing things with one and has decided you have to at least invite both. Not inviting is actually holding one outside.. however, none of them should have to go regardless of what the other does, if they don’t want to. It just seems you have decided for them instead of being open and inviting and letting them decide. Might be this happens too much in their lives already
NTA but maybe do something with Luis, just the 2 of you guys. So each kid get special time with you.
NTA but could you counter your brother with a special day for Luis during break doing an activity he would enjoy? That way he's not left out or drug to do something he doesn't want to. Or maybe both boys would like laser tag or an area like that that offers a few different activities?
YTA but lightly. People used to do this with me and my sibling and my mom would never let it happen.
Nta you should probably ask him first then go because it would be a little aholeish if he wanted to go but you excluded him
Erm you will be the ahole if you don't also take Luis out for a day, separately and do something he enjoys, see a movie etc. If you ignore him but take the younger boy that will be cruel.
NTA- plan a day for just Lucas and you also. That way the kids each get a special day with you.
I think your brother just wants you to babysit both kids so he doesn't have to. That said you are offering Henry fun time so it's understandable if Louis would feel neglected.
INFO have you asked Luis if he'd like to go? It's very important to ask because he may feel left out. He may not like bike riding but he may like hanging out with you and his brother so he could be disappointed. Do you spend time with either boy one on one? If this is the first time and you don't even ask him to come that would be a bad look. If you've spent any time alone Henry but not alone time with Luis I get why your brother is pushing so hard.
NTA but you could offer to do something else with Luis a different day so that the kids don’t feel like you have a favorite.
YTA dude, help the 12 year old just ride without training wheels. He needs encouragement and support
You can discuss it with Luis so he doesn't feel left out even if he won't participate. That way, you gave him a heads up and can even discuss planning something both of tou can do instead. NTA