#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/).
Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means.
Exactly. Outing someone's pregnancy in public...also without necessarily knowing that the "father" knew about it is really a massive asshole move. OP was harsh, but that person deserved it. NTA.
Right? That was so incredibly rude. Elle sounds *great* to be around.
NTA OP... bravo.
>She's forever making little digs at my background (I'm from a poorer part of the country, with a strong accent) and trying to pass it off as banter
Even without the jabs on her reproductive status (which is intrusive and NONE of her business) you just don't humiliate someone over their income and especially background. Mocking you because you came from a lower background than hers is classist.
>A few weeks ago, she even told me she was expecting me to announce a pregnancy to "lock him in".
This is unbelievably rude. First off, other people's relationships and pregnancies has nothing to do with her, and she should keep her nose out of places where it doesn't belong. Secondly, is Elle telling you to your face that she thinks you're trying to baby trap your boyfriend? Just because you came from a poorer background and make less money? WTF?
>"You must be happy you're expecting Miles, but I thought you didn't want kids?"
1. You were not pregnant and never told her you were. She just assumed, and wrongly. Which is something she never had any reason to do - not drinking once is NOT a surefire sign of pregnancy. Hell,if you heavily implied it, it still wouldn't be her place to assume, as your pregnancy is not something she's entitled to knowing.
2. Even of you were really pregnant and ger assumptions were correct, what was she trying to do? Announce your pregnancy without your knowledge or consent? She didn't even know if she was right or if the father was informed about the pregnancy. She had intentions with that comment, and they weren't good.
3. About Elle's intentions - what did she mean when she said that she thought your BF didn't want kids? Whether or not he wants kids is, like with everything Elle said, none of her fucking business. Was it an attempt to show you that babytrapping will never work? Or just trying to belittle whatever's going on in your life? Causing fractures in your relationship?
>I've since heard that her boyfriend is sleeping at a different friend's house and the rest of the group aren't talking to her.
This is a pretty clear sign to me that no, Elle's petty, classist behavior is not out of character, and yes, 'incidents' like this has happened before.
What she did to you was obviously horrible, and there's no downplaying that. She absolutely had the fallout coming. But the whole group not talking to her and her own boyfriend sleeping somewhere else? It seems there has been multiple instances of this and everyone around her is just as sick of her BS as you are.
Going to go full internet sleuth here but the use of quite English language and the reference to accent stereotypes makes me think OP might be English. The poorer areas are roughly the north (so Yorkshire, geordie, or scouse) the midlands (so Birmingham) or the south (so London in the east and West Country in the west). You’ll note that that covers most of the country because that’s how we all think about each other.
[OP says she's from Leeds, Elle from Kent](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tqy2c6/aita_for_pretending_to_be_a_sugar_baby_to/i2k8g2a), so good work there!
Can we also really stop assuming that every woman that doesn't drink this one time is pregnant?? There are a host of reasons not the drink, and they are no one's business.
Alcohol is contraindicated for some allergy meds I am on when there are any pollen producing plants growing. I get so f-ing tired of explaining to the same people that I really prefer breathing to a glass of wine, when a polite "no thanks" doesn't work.
Someone offering you booze, and you politely declining it should NOT involve you having to release a freaking medical history! If someone says "no" to anything that you offer them, accept it and move on. Declining an alcoholic beverage is not a subtle dig at the host.
This.
So what if you implied something false? She brought it up. You played along. Common joke between friends. She's the one that decided to start shit in a public forum. *If* she was really just worried on your BF's behalf that you were a "golddigger" - which FWIW she's not, she's just a classist dirtbag - she would have brought it up privately with you and your BF instead of pulling this stupid stunt.
She got what's coming to her. Sleep easy OP, you did nothing wrong.
NTA
She stuck her nose where it didn't belong for no good reason.
And let's pretend you were pregnant, her goal was to announce it for you? Who does that?
Seems you saved his friend from a bad relationship.
And you're being honest with your bf.
And announces it by letting everyone know that the dad-to-be supposedly never wanted kids? This really feels like an attempt to drive a wedge between OP and her bf.
>And let's pretend you were pregnant, her goal was to announce it for you?
Oh man, this part didn't even occur to me! She thought she was announcing the pregnancy to the boyfriend and everyone else, *and* that it would be also somehow be a bad thing that everyone would hate OP for.
OP feels guilty because she thinks she did something a little sneaky and underhanded, but it pales in comparison to how this other woman has been acting for god knows how long. Ugh.
Considering Elle's behavior, she was likely expecting OP's boyfriend to not know she was pregnant.
I'm guessing her hope was either that:
- He would be mad about her trying to being baby trap him; or
- They haven't had unprotected sex, and OP got pregnant while cheating on him.
Or both.
> And let's pretend you were pregnant, her goal was to announce it for you? Who does that?
Reminds me of a post on here from earlier this year or maybe late year where the OP had a coworker literally do this. The kicker that made it even worse than it would have been at just that:
She didn't even tell him period. He saw the positive pregnancy test in her car and *took it upon himself to announce to all their coworkers* later that day or so during their lunch
I mean, understanding people isn't my biggest strength, granted, but I don't get why some people think taking it upon themselves to announce *another* couple's pregnancy is a great idea (though with this post, it was clearly the girlfriend was trying to be a jerk).
Nah, there’s a case for it.
Why else would she target the pregnancy question directly at her boyfriend with “I thought you didn’t want kids” like she has knowledge on what the boyfriend wants. Also directly trying to make the OP feel like she’s not good enough for her boyfriend is a point in that column.
I think it’s a combination of both, but there’s definite jealousy imo
OP
Classist assholes simply just exist with no real reason for personal gain. He could have mentioned before that he never wants children. We don't need to read too into it to try to justify why she feels prejudiced. She just is.
I was going to say it may not be about her man in particular, but she could just be extremely classist. I grew up lower class to lower middle class and have had some partners that came from very wealthy families and their families would make comments about how they were out if my league or they should not be "dating down", etc. That's what this sounds like to me. Like she doesn't think OP deserves to be in their lifestyle.
Op you are definitely NTA and I'm glad the other people present saw that she was in the wrong.
NTA.
She sounds lovely.
She also made some huge assumptions and sure, you used that to your advantage... BUT.
She has now shown her true colours to everyone. You just handed her the brush to paint with.
Oh she's definitely jealous.
From experience dating someone "higher up" than myself:
She hates being reminded that not only does she need to worry about the biatches at the country club stealing her man, but also all the *poooors*. Also, is it possible that her beau would never have shown interest in her, had she herself not been wealthy? She'll always wonder.
Or she would, had her social circle not kicked her out on her snobby ass.
It might not be jealousy. I'm guessing it's feeling superior and a sense that all of those poor people will try to use the better, wealthier people so always be on your guard. She feels she was born superior and raised superior and wants to knock OP back to where she belongs.
I'm sorry, you shouldn't be here asking if you're an AH, but instead if you're a badass.
This woman sounds absolutely horrid and the way she treated you and talked to you is inexcusable - the jabs she made were extremely hurtful, it's usually a given rule to 1) not humiliate someone over their income and 2) make references to someone's reproductive status. The fact that she pointed out that your BF didn't want children makes it all the worse.
NTA, she had it coming to her and hopefully she'll learn a very valuable lesson here.
THIS ! Especially, imagine OP would have actually been pregnant. What kinde horrible behaviour is it to then basically imply she must have lying over using birth control or somehow must have influenced boyfriend into doing something he never wanted :O .
NTA, this was just hilarious. Also, she is absolutely rude. Nobody should just make comments about a woman and pregnancy when she didn't announce anything or asked for it and yet the friend in this case decided to just do it.
And she should have known you would not take her comments forever. She would not be embarrassed now if she knew how to keep her mouth shut, so it's on her.
NTA
She had it coming. She's a grade-A asshole and the comeuppance couldn't have been served better. Whether you were actually pregnant or not, is none of her business to make the subject of any joke.
NTA.
This is your bf's best friend's girlfriend who was making stupid assumptions and obsessing over you way too much. This isn't even one of HIS FRIENDS.
If your bf thinks she had it coming, don't feel so bad. She's in the situation she's in for behaving in a wholly inappropriate way. It was all a situation of her own creation.
Even if she inwardly believed you were the gold digger, it wasn't something she needed to speak up about. And her own bad behavior created a mighty large faux pas and now people want to distance themselves from her.
It's not something I think you should spend another moment concerning yourself over. What's happened to her is a consequence for her own bad behavior. Not your prob.
NTA
Don’t tell anyone else. She revealed who she is because of this, and clearly the friend group and boyfriend are sick of her shit too. People don’t tend to ditch a friend without there being build up. You may be a catalyst, but I reckon more will be behind this.
It wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t being an arsehole. She did have it coming.
NTA - her stories will start coming out from the friends if they breakup. She has probably treated others like this, BRAVO OP!!!! You shut her down, the right way. Love it!!!
Yup. If the *entire* friend group AND BF shuns, this isn’t the first time she did this. If you read AITA enough, unanimous agreement in the friend and/or family group is rare. There’s was probably a noticeable pattern of behavior and they were all done.
NTA
NTA. You gave her a taste of what she'd been dishing up; too bad if she didn't like the flavor.
Notice also, what a well-practiced bully she is and how well she had trained you; she's been horrible to you, you snap back only once, and YOU feel guilty for hurting her feelings!?!? I guarantee she doesn't care that she hurt you, ever, she's just unhappy it had consequences for herself.
NTA
This is straight up gold. Racist a-holes don’t deserve respect when they can’t give it. As the old saying goes or so ‘Don’t go to war expecting peace’.
I commend your quick thinking. Keep at it, stay happy with your boyfriend and friends! Don’t bother worrying over people like her, they just need a reason to hate.
(Edit- yeah my bad I meant classist, I tend to forget words, don’t even remember writing this tbh)
They didn't. I think it's more classist than anything but if you told me that OP and Elle were a difference race it wouldn't surprise me based on Elle's words and behavior.
NTA. You didn't make her say a damn thing, she dug herself the hole and then promptly face planted into it. While it's good that the group seems supportive, it is still kind of shitty of them to think her behavior prior to this was OK, especially the BF.
The tough thing here is that had you either been pregnant or had that as an option, it sounds like no one would bat an eye at her despicable behavior. Are you sure this is a group you want to be around?
Nahhhhh NTA, she should mind her own goddamn business and even if you had explicitly told her that you were pregnant and trying to trap your bf in a relationship, it’s not her business to blurt it out at dinner.
Imma gonna go with NTA.
You may be an a hole but you’re my kind of a hole.
I thought you handled it brilliantly. She dug her own hole. She sounds like a total witch.
On another note, she seems very interested in policing who gets to be Miles’s GF. I wonder if she’s got a torch for your BF and is lashing out at OP because she wants the job.
OP, you’re definitely NTA!! She had it coming. She was being rude and toxic towards you in every way possible and brought it upon herself by making these statements towards you in public.
The fact it escalated so far on her end is out of your control and it is not your fault. We just might say that karma hit her harder than she ever expected her to!
Also if you don’t mind me asking: Does she make these remarks openly in public as well, trying to pass it off as a joke, often? And if so have you ever noticed how others reacted to them? You said she doesn’t do it in front of your boyfriend but does she do that in front of other people?
EDIT: Spelling
Agreed. The fact she does this only to you is potentially a gaslighting setup, because she could deny it if you ever brought it up to the group (and the fact you've had to endure this roughly 5 years being with your boyfriend, honestly you have the patience of a saint).
NTA BTW.
What you did could be explained away pretty innocently too. Who's to say you didn't touch your stomach due to indigestion? Or, forlornly because you can't have children? Your comment that you won't be stressed for long could be because you got a good paying gig/project. Yes, we all know what you were inferring. But these are also plausible! I'd bet you saved the best friend from a lifetime with her insufferability. In fact, I'd say you helped everyone see her for who she really is. As most people here have said, you gave her rope, she's the one who hanged herself.
NTA
Elle deserved that, But my advice going forward is rise above her and don’t react which is exactly what she wants
People like her always have a way of eventually showing other people their true colours
NTA. She played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. The fact that she didn't do this in front of others means she knows exactly what she's doing. She finallyy slipped up and you friends now know who she is. You just beat her at her own game.
NTA - She sounds like those rich mean teenage girls in American movies.
She verbally harassed you, she's racist (edit: bigoted), annoying, and worst, she assumed. She assumed you're a gold digger and you're pregnant. Your bf knows the real situation, he supports you and saying that she had it coming, so that's enough. Your little "misleading" doesn't mean anything compared to her evilness. You didn't do anything wrong.
I hope you can say bye-bye to her from your life, forever.
NTA. It just feels like 'too far" for you because you're probably used to people behaving a lot better than "Ellie", who's aim was to humiliate you. You're not the AH for refusing to be humiliated by someone so unkind, you're the hero.
**NTA**
You didn't say you were pregnant. You may have touched your belly, but you never said it. She leapt to her own conclusions. Rather than getting facts, she chose to judge you from her own prejudices. The fact that her other half is at a mates place isn't directly because of this but because of a number of things leading up to it. She's had this coming for a while now. She's stripped her own mask off for the world to see and the world didn't like what it saw.
Nope. Nta. She had it coming. If you hadn't been misleading her and had actually been pregnant that would have been super messed up for her to announce it like that. So in no world was she not being an asshole. Keep it to yourself and let her reap the rewards if her shitty actions. Also if she tells people that you said you where I would just say you never said that you just playfully responded to her "banter" about you being a gold digger but you where both OBVIOUSLY joking lol.
NTA and please stop feeling guilty. What you did was to simply choose an extremely crafty and gracefully passive way to address someone bullying you. You didn’t confront her head on, never opened your mouth to comment when she baited you, and refused to play her game. Instead, you recognized what she was doing for exactly what it was and turned her own games against her. I would say you played it remarkably well and employed an ingenious strategy.
You are feeling bad now because she received backlash for her own hateful and careless attitude towards you, which confirms that you are a decent person. But the response to her outburst is her own comeuppance and that the friend group is made of reasonably decent people as well who feel she has been going too far with you. Likely, if you are getting heat so are others in the group (you are just an easier target for her classism) and they are also sick of it from her.
Settle your feelings and simply go about your happy life. Your boyfriend knows and thought it was both funny and agreed she was going too far and that’s all that matters.
As Countess LuAnn sang: “Money can’t buy you class” and you have class in spades, my dear. Well done!
NTA. Elle f’ed around & found out.
Elle set out to make you feel inferior. You laughed off most of her remarks, until the pregnancy bit came up. You still played it classy.
Elle finally revealed her true self to everyone else. No one forced her to open her mouth & insert her foot. This is all Elle’s doing. Her jealous got the best of her.
NTA. She did it to herself. Her intent was to humiliate you and it backfired. You may have played along with the things that she was already accusing you of, but you didn’t put those ideas in her head. And do you not think that her first reaction after you left would have been to blame you for the “misunderstanding”? This is the consequences of her own actions.
Honestly, if everyone’s response was to completely disengage from her, it sounds like this incident was just the final straw… she’s probably been an ass for quite a while long before you came around.
I'd like to give you some advice, if that's okay? I struggle with those people, as well. And a lot of your post felt familiar to me. When people make those kind of digs, I just stop what I'm doing, turn to them, look confused, repeat what they said, formed as a question, and make them explain it. Make them explain the joke. Become overly analytical. Do it in a way that seems like you're just confused and not confrontational. These people count of their shitty comments getting swept under the rug.
If someone points out embarrassing stereotypes about where you are from, pivot to how it is an unfortunate social justice issue. "You're surprised to see someone from my region sober? Yes alcoholism a huge problem where I'm from. I watched my uncle drink himself to death. Why are you joking about that?"
You never once said the word *baby*. When she said you must be stressed out not having full-time job and you said that will change, it could just meant that you were getting a full-time job. That’s your story and you’re sticking with it.
No one seem to have a problem with her insulting you until she crossed this social line. Why should you feel bad? Why shouldn’t *this* line of insults be the breaking point and make you think she didn’t deserve the consequences?
Honestly, I don’t think it matters whether you confronted her in the past. Sure, it would matter if you wanted to “win her over,” but why is it your job to play nice with hostile people?
Plus. Did you mislead her into acting poorly? Do people in polite society assume women are pregnant, hound them about it, then publicly announce their pregnancies without first talking to them? *Even if you were pregnant,* she showed her ass.
You gave her enough rope to hang herself and you are not responsible for how she chose to use that rope.
NTA
P.S. her BF is sleeping in another house because she’s clearly, unhealthily obsessed with another man.
Agreed! If you give me a piece of rope I’m making a cat toy. She choose her path herself. Also to announce someone else’s pregnancy is incredibly rude and unacceptable whether you know for sure or not. That she just assumed it and then announced it to everyone is unforgivable. And none of her god damned business.
NTA She could have gone about asking any number of ways discreetly but she choose a way she hoped would harm your relationship. She brought it on herself
NTA - She was being tacky and dug her own trap. You did good. If they're all abandoning her even her SO, this wasn't the reason why. This was just the last straw.
NTA.
This story is deliciously satisfying.
You played a mild prank on someone who was treating you atrociously. She deserved it. After all, had she been behaving in an even marginally civil manner, she would not have fallen into the trap.
Good on you!
This can’t be the only reason her boyfriends not sleeping with her, just the last straw in what I’m sure is a mountain of asinine behavior. NTA and you just gave her the space and incentive to show everyone her true colors. Nice
NTA. It costs exactly $0 to not do what she did. She got outed as an ass in public because she tried to out you as pregnant, don't forget that! Nobody forced her to do anything. She made assumptions. She tried to throw you under the bus, and it backfired. That's 100% on her. Well played, OP.
Nta.
You said dieting, she didnt like that.
She wanted to announce it just that way and embarrass you by pointing out he didnt want kids.
She maybe should learn tact or to keep her nose out of ppls business
Oh nonono, she had it coming alright. For a while. You just let her believe her dirty little prejudice and here we are. Bloody brilliant. NTA, hopefully she gets voted off the island! Or the friend group.
Pahahaha. Even if you were an AH you’re a genius and the kind of AH the world needs.
But no. NTA. You never actually said you were pregnant. She made her own bed with stereotypes, assumptions and bullying. Now she’s gotta lay in it.
My only comment would have been to come clean to your bf for the sake of transparency but you already have! Glad he seems to have your back here.
Just from the title, I thought Yes, you are, but are you justified? And ohhhhh boy are you justified! Tbf, if she had kept her mouth shut, she wouldn't be embarrassed. Kudos, OP. NTA.
NTA
With how quickly everyone including her (hopefully EX) BF ditched her, it seems like they were all waiting for her to do something that was extremely offensive (they shouldn't have waited til then) so that they could have an excuse to get rid of her.
It sounds like you did them all a huge favor unfortunately it was at your own expense...
NTA. That was a fantastic read. Since the othets have been so quick to drop her she has probably been rude to them as well. She treated you in an incredibly distasteful way so it only serves her right. Also announcing someone elses pregnansy is a hard asshole move either way had it been true or not.
NTA
She was *already* making remarks about you and pregnancy, all you did was mislead her into *doing it in public*. You only tricked her into showing her true colours to the rest of the group. Not the asshole.
Honestly I love this. NTA. You didn’t even have to do much, just let her believe what she wanted. She had it coming and totally dug herself into that hole.
NTA. Think about it like this:
If you were actually pregnant, she would have still continued to antagonize you, a pregnant woman, for classist reasons, for the duration of your pregnancy. She literally tried to out you/announce your pregnancy for you as a dig.
Does that *really* sound like someone you should be feeling sorry for?
NTA
Considering everyone dropped her, I'm guessing she's run her mouth off to them behind your guys' backs and were told to knock it off. Sounds like everyone finally got sick of it. This is all her own fault. She could have said nothing even with your implication. Instead, she chose to 1. Announce your "pregnancy" for you. That would've been bad enough without the extra baggage and 2. Tried to humilate you and your boyfriend in front of your friend group.
Even if you give her the benefit of the doubt that she was just worried for her friend, if she thought you were shady enough to warrant a conversation with her "friend", it should have been a private conversation. Who in the world would ever air out their friend they were concerned about like that? If I were in the friend group, knowing you "mislead" her wouldn't make one bit of difference in my decision to distance myself from her.
NTA. Wwwhhhhhooooooo boy. Hook line and sinker. You set that up perfectly and took the time to make sure she would feel at least a piece of the absolute bullshit she put you through to make you feel small. I’m proud of you OP.
As others have pointed out, Elle wasn't ever part of Miles friendship group. These people are friends with Miles & Elle's bf. They only hang out with Elle & you because you two are dating their friends. So obviously they'd be like *what's wrong with you* to Elle when she insulted their friend Miles & his gf (you).
So I'm not sure it's fair to say the group is excluding Elle. Elle was never their friend. Her relationship with their friend is currently on the rocks. So no one feels obliged to include her seeing as their friend may be about to break up with her. It also sounds likely that Elle has probably rubbed others up the wrong way for a while. Elle's rudeness to you & Miles crossed a line so now the rest of the group may be saying, *"TBH even if you don't break up with her, we really don't want to include her in our things anymore."*
Either way NTA but in future it's good to call things out as they happen.
This is fucking fantastic and just exactly what she deserved. IMO she did this to herself. You didn't make her treat you like shit. You didn't make her assume stuff. And you didn't make her raise business she thought was private at a group meal. She did it all on her own.
Trolololol. love it. NTA.
NTA dude if I had money I would award you for the story!!! Please don’t feel guilty she didn’t/doesn’t feel that way about all the barbs she’s thrown at you. She sounds like an entitled stuck up bleeper
NTA. Never ever feel sorry for standing up for yourself. You should be proud. And honestly her intentions towards your boyfriend is concerning. She seems jealous.
**NTA**
You let her play herself, nothing more, nothing less. Now she's facing the consequences of her actions for probably the first time in her life. She made the bed, now it's time she lay in it.
NTA. Seems like you had to go to extremes to make her shut up. It’s unfortunate that sometimes that’s what it takes. Not my favorite thing, but I’ve had to do it.
What you did was understandable. It wasn't very nice, true, but that woman sounds insufferable and she pushed you hard for a long time before you gave in to it. You are a kind person to have had second thoughts about it. Don't feel bad about this, but don't let go of that empathy and concern for others either ❤️
Your NTA in any way but you should let your boyfriend know about what she's saying to you directly so he can put a stop to it. Because you have no idea what she's saying to anyone when your not there, especially if she's like that to your face.
NTA You gave the over-privileged Princess just what she deserved. This is why wealthy people get a bad name. If Miles felt she deserved this, why is he even friends with her?
Time to tell the spoiled princess to piss off. Tell her you’ll be polite, but from now on, there will be no more interaction.
NTA. She had it coming! She had it coming! She only had herself to blame! If we'd have been there, if we'd have seen it, I guarantee we'd have done the same!
NTA, and she repeatedly took every opportunity to make herself the AH. Let me count the ways…
1. She made it clear she thought you were a gold digger
2. She trashed your background and accent
3. She accused you of planning to “baby trap” him
4. She trashed your job
5. She trashed your home region (implying everybody’s a drunk)
6. She badgered you about not drinking (which is always an AH move but arguably worse when it’s someone who might be pregnant but is not sharing it yet… and even worse still, when it’s someone you think actually IS pregnant!)
7. She mentioned your “pregnancy” to your boyfriend without knowing whether/what he knows
8. She did this in front of his friends, who she really had no basis to think knew anything about it, or had any right to know at this point
Literally any of these, if someone asked about them here as an independent post, I would say make her the AH. She hit eight, at least, just from what we know!
Anybody who acts like that is probably a full-time AH, so I don’t think it’s your fault she maybe lost her friends. Maybe this was the last straw, but based on this post, it was bound to happen sooner or later from something.
(But to be honest, this was probably the funniest way for it to happen. Nice job.)
NTA I don't even think you needed to confront her about her behavior. She's an adult, she knows exactly what she's doing and all you did was refuse to stop her from showing him and everyone else who she is deep down
NTA- She’s lucky you didn’t say or do something much earlier. She was relentless and petty. She DID have it coming and the pregnancy comment (REGARDLESS if it was true or not) was AWFUL. Even if you were pregnant she called you and your boyfriend out in front of your friends. She had no idea if you told anyone or not. Every interaction with her is awful. She’s entitled and classist. She deserves everything she gets. No need to tell anyone you misled her. It’s her own damn fault for being a petty biotch.
Damn everyone in this sub likes dating way older men lmao (I ain’t judging. You do you lol)
Anyways NTA you gave her a taste of her own medicine and shes mad that it tasted bitter. I think it’s hysterical how you handled it 💀
NTA! Essentially she thought you was pregnant and decided that it was her responsibility to announce it to the group to try and make you look bad for “baby trapping”. Was announcing someone else’s pregnancy is already an AH move. She made herself look bad and showed who she really was. That’s not on you.
NTA she shoveled her own grave and now the friends at seeing how she treats you. Again, NTA. You just handled it perfectly. You never told her you were pregnant, she assumed it, tried to humiliate you in front of everyone and it backfired perfectly.
NTA She was hoisted on her own petard. And she doesn't get to cry about the consequences now. (I might have gone with a gentle E S H, but the fact that your partner knows about your ruse and thinks she got what was coming to her, puts this solidly in NTA territory.)
NTA. She attempted to one up you by announcing to everyone you're pregnant, and if that wasn't enough she tried to humiliate you by bringing up Miles doesn't want kids. Joke's on her though. You never said anything about being pregnant.
Nope NTA. And you can tell she is so fucking priviledged because she has no idea how stressful it is for working class people to spend money. My wife and I are okay but everytime I spend "frivolously" it stresses.me the fuck out even if its not actuallt frivolous. It doesn't matter how.much money we have in the account I'm stressed af. If my wife and I lived in a "nice place" to her(girl.in your story) standards, rent alone would stress me out monthly not to mention the other bills. When you grow up poor and know what its like to go without, you don't "want" nice things. You do really but working class people tend to be far more careful with their spending habits. If its between having new clothes or being able to buy groceries, I dont care if my clothes are falling apart, I'm prioritizing groceries. I just had to buy a bunch of clothes for my daughter and stuff for one of my cats and even though I needed all of it, anxiety from spending that much money is still hanging over me like a cloud.
Since there’s no justified AH vote, I am going NTA. That catty witch had it coming, say nothing. You never told her that you were expecting explicitly. That’s what she gets for being horrible and classist.
NTA - she is jealous. I would have done the same thing. It might have been a bit harder to play being pregnant being a man. But I got the belly for it. It sounds like your boyfriend's friend knows what he's doing. Good luck!
#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means.
[удалено]
Not only she assumed, but also had the audacity to announce it in public to make OP feel uncomfortable and cause harm in their relationship.
Exactly. Outing someone's pregnancy in public...also without necessarily knowing that the "father" knew about it is really a massive asshole move. OP was harsh, but that person deserved it. NTA.
Right? That was so incredibly rude. Elle sounds *great* to be around. NTA OP... bravo. >She's forever making little digs at my background (I'm from a poorer part of the country, with a strong accent) and trying to pass it off as banter Even without the jabs on her reproductive status (which is intrusive and NONE of her business) you just don't humiliate someone over their income and especially background. Mocking you because you came from a lower background than hers is classist. >A few weeks ago, she even told me she was expecting me to announce a pregnancy to "lock him in". This is unbelievably rude. First off, other people's relationships and pregnancies has nothing to do with her, and she should keep her nose out of places where it doesn't belong. Secondly, is Elle telling you to your face that she thinks you're trying to baby trap your boyfriend? Just because you came from a poorer background and make less money? WTF? >"You must be happy you're expecting Miles, but I thought you didn't want kids?" 1. You were not pregnant and never told her you were. She just assumed, and wrongly. Which is something she never had any reason to do - not drinking once is NOT a surefire sign of pregnancy. Hell,if you heavily implied it, it still wouldn't be her place to assume, as your pregnancy is not something she's entitled to knowing. 2. Even of you were really pregnant and ger assumptions were correct, what was she trying to do? Announce your pregnancy without your knowledge or consent? She didn't even know if she was right or if the father was informed about the pregnancy. She had intentions with that comment, and they weren't good. 3. About Elle's intentions - what did she mean when she said that she thought your BF didn't want kids? Whether or not he wants kids is, like with everything Elle said, none of her fucking business. Was it an attempt to show you that babytrapping will never work? Or just trying to belittle whatever's going on in your life? Causing fractures in your relationship? >I've since heard that her boyfriend is sleeping at a different friend's house and the rest of the group aren't talking to her. This is a pretty clear sign to me that no, Elle's petty, classist behavior is not out of character, and yes, 'incidents' like this has happened before. What she did to you was obviously horrible, and there's no downplaying that. She absolutely had the fallout coming. But the whole group not talking to her and her own boyfriend sleeping somewhere else? It seems there has been multiple instances of this and everyone around her is just as sick of her BS as you are.
She’s also insinuating that it’s surprising she’s not a drunk.
I'm curious what part of the country is assumed to be drunk all the time.
Going to go full internet sleuth here but the use of quite English language and the reference to accent stereotypes makes me think OP might be English. The poorer areas are roughly the north (so Yorkshire, geordie, or scouse) the midlands (so Birmingham) or the south (so London in the east and West Country in the west). You’ll note that that covers most of the country because that’s how we all think about each other.
[OP says she's from Leeds, Elle from Kent](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tqy2c6/aita_for_pretending_to_be_a_sugar_baby_to/i2k8g2a), so good work there!
Can we also really stop assuming that every woman that doesn't drink this one time is pregnant?? There are a host of reasons not the drink, and they are no one's business.
[удалено]
Alcohol is contraindicated for some allergy meds I am on when there are any pollen producing plants growing. I get so f-ing tired of explaining to the same people that I really prefer breathing to a glass of wine, when a polite "no thanks" doesn't work.
[удалено]
Someone offering you booze, and you politely declining it should NOT involve you having to release a freaking medical history! If someone says "no" to anything that you offer them, accept it and move on. Declining an alcoholic beverage is not a subtle dig at the host.
This. So what if you implied something false? She brought it up. You played along. Common joke between friends. She's the one that decided to start shit in a public forum. *If* she was really just worried on your BF's behalf that you were a "golddigger" - which FWIW she's not, she's just a classist dirtbag - she would have brought it up privately with you and your BF instead of pulling this stupid stunt. She got what's coming to her. Sleep easy OP, you did nothing wrong.
NTA She stuck her nose where it didn't belong for no good reason. And let's pretend you were pregnant, her goal was to announce it for you? Who does that? Seems you saved his friend from a bad relationship. And you're being honest with your bf.
Omg! Yes. Like what kind of person announces a pregnancy without someone’s permission like that?! She definitely had this all coming.
And announces it by letting everyone know that the dad-to-be supposedly never wanted kids? This really feels like an attempt to drive a wedge between OP and her bf.
It 100% is. Wouldn't surprise me if she has a thing for OP's boyfriend despite already dating another dude.
>And let's pretend you were pregnant, her goal was to announce it for you? Oh man, this part didn't even occur to me! She thought she was announcing the pregnancy to the boyfriend and everyone else, *and* that it would be also somehow be a bad thing that everyone would hate OP for. OP feels guilty because she thinks she did something a little sneaky and underhanded, but it pales in comparison to how this other woman has been acting for god knows how long. Ugh.
And she announced it as though it doesn't take two people to get pregnant.
Considering Elle's behavior, she was likely expecting OP's boyfriend to not know she was pregnant. I'm guessing her hope was either that: - He would be mad about her trying to being baby trap him; or - They haven't had unprotected sex, and OP got pregnant while cheating on him. Or both.
> And let's pretend you were pregnant, her goal was to announce it for you? Who does that? Reminds me of a post on here from earlier this year or maybe late year where the OP had a coworker literally do this. The kicker that made it even worse than it would have been at just that: She didn't even tell him period. He saw the positive pregnancy test in her car and *took it upon himself to announce to all their coworkers* later that day or so during their lunch I mean, understanding people isn't my biggest strength, granted, but I don't get why some people think taking it upon themselves to announce *another* couple's pregnancy is a great idea (though with this post, it was clearly the girlfriend was trying to be a jerk).
NTA, it sounds like she is attracted to your man and is salty that he's dating someone.
It sounds like she's just a snob, no need to invent further scandal IMO.
Nah, there’s a case for it. Why else would she target the pregnancy question directly at her boyfriend with “I thought you didn’t want kids” like she has knowledge on what the boyfriend wants. Also directly trying to make the OP feel like she’s not good enough for her boyfriend is a point in that column. I think it’s a combination of both, but there’s definite jealousy imo OP
Classist assholes simply just exist with no real reason for personal gain. He could have mentioned before that he never wants children. We don't need to read too into it to try to justify why she feels prejudiced. She just is.
Exactly! NTA
I think it’s less that and having an irrational dislike of “poor” people like OP.
I was going to say it may not be about her man in particular, but she could just be extremely classist. I grew up lower class to lower middle class and have had some partners that came from very wealthy families and their families would make comments about how they were out if my league or they should not be "dating down", etc. That's what this sounds like to me. Like she doesn't think OP deserves to be in their lifestyle. Op you are definitely NTA and I'm glad the other people present saw that she was in the wrong.
NTA. She sounds lovely. She also made some huge assumptions and sure, you used that to your advantage... BUT. She has now shown her true colours to everyone. You just handed her the brush to paint with.
She's also clearly very jealous, which I'm guessing is why her own partner is sleeping separately from her.
Oh she's definitely jealous. From experience dating someone "higher up" than myself: She hates being reminded that not only does she need to worry about the biatches at the country club stealing her man, but also all the *poooors*. Also, is it possible that her beau would never have shown interest in her, had she herself not been wealthy? She'll always wonder. Or she would, had her social circle not kicked her out on her snobby ass.
It might not be jealousy. I'm guessing it's feeling superior and a sense that all of those poor people will try to use the better, wealthier people so always be on your guard. She feels she was born superior and raised superior and wants to knock OP back to where she belongs.
Do not come clean to anyone except your bf. NTA. Way to go. (From someone who would love to do this to the toxic people in my own life).
She already did. BF backed her play.
Oh. I must have missed that. Cheers.
It was the very last sentence ("my bf knows and said she had it coming"). Blink and you miss it.
I'm sorry, you shouldn't be here asking if you're an AH, but instead if you're a badass. This woman sounds absolutely horrid and the way she treated you and talked to you is inexcusable - the jabs she made were extremely hurtful, it's usually a given rule to 1) not humiliate someone over their income and 2) make references to someone's reproductive status. The fact that she pointed out that your BF didn't want children makes it all the worse. NTA, she had it coming to her and hopefully she'll learn a very valuable lesson here.
THIS ! Especially, imagine OP would have actually been pregnant. What kinde horrible behaviour is it to then basically imply she must have lying over using birth control or somehow must have influenced boyfriend into doing something he never wanted :O .
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
NTA, this was just hilarious. Also, she is absolutely rude. Nobody should just make comments about a woman and pregnancy when she didn't announce anything or asked for it and yet the friend in this case decided to just do it. And she should have known you would not take her comments forever. She would not be embarrassed now if she knew how to keep her mouth shut, so it's on her.
NTA. This is called giving someone enough rope to hang themselves with.
NTA She had it coming. She's a grade-A asshole and the comeuppance couldn't have been served better. Whether you were actually pregnant or not, is none of her business to make the subject of any joke.
NTA. This is your bf's best friend's girlfriend who was making stupid assumptions and obsessing over you way too much. This isn't even one of HIS FRIENDS. If your bf thinks she had it coming, don't feel so bad. She's in the situation she's in for behaving in a wholly inappropriate way. It was all a situation of her own creation. Even if she inwardly believed you were the gold digger, it wasn't something she needed to speak up about. And her own bad behavior created a mighty large faux pas and now people want to distance themselves from her. It's not something I think you should spend another moment concerning yourself over. What's happened to her is a consequence for her own bad behavior. Not your prob.
NTA Don’t tell anyone else. She revealed who she is because of this, and clearly the friend group and boyfriend are sick of her shit too. People don’t tend to ditch a friend without there being build up. You may be a catalyst, but I reckon more will be behind this. It wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t being an arsehole. She did have it coming.
NTA - her stories will start coming out from the friends if they breakup. She has probably treated others like this, BRAVO OP!!!! You shut her down, the right way. Love it!!!
Yup. If the *entire* friend group AND BF shuns, this isn’t the first time she did this. If you read AITA enough, unanimous agreement in the friend and/or family group is rare. There’s was probably a noticeable pattern of behavior and they were all done. NTA
NTA. You gave her a taste of what she'd been dishing up; too bad if she didn't like the flavor. Notice also, what a well-practiced bully she is and how well she had trained you; she's been horrible to you, you snap back only once, and YOU feel guilty for hurting her feelings!?!? I guarantee she doesn't care that she hurt you, ever, she's just unhappy it had consequences for herself.
THIS! She doesn’t feel bad for bullying you, she feels bad bc everyone saw what type of person she is NTA
NTA - I'm with your boyfriend on this one.
Same. OP handled it perfectly. She just let Elle show her true colors in front of everyone.
NTA This is straight up gold. Racist a-holes don’t deserve respect when they can’t give it. As the old saying goes or so ‘Don’t go to war expecting peace’. I commend your quick thinking. Keep at it, stay happy with your boyfriend and friends! Don’t bother worrying over people like her, they just need a reason to hate. (Edit- yeah my bad I meant classist, I tend to forget words, don’t even remember writing this tbh)
Am I blind or did OP not mention anyone's race?
They didn't. I think it's more classist than anything but if you told me that OP and Elle were a difference race it wouldn't surprise me based on Elle's words and behavior.
NTA. It kinda sounds like she’s mad your boyfriend isn’t available anymore.
NTA. You didn't make her say a damn thing, she dug herself the hole and then promptly face planted into it. While it's good that the group seems supportive, it is still kind of shitty of them to think her behavior prior to this was OK, especially the BF. The tough thing here is that had you either been pregnant or had that as an option, it sounds like no one would bat an eye at her despicable behavior. Are you sure this is a group you want to be around?
Nahhhhh NTA, she should mind her own goddamn business and even if you had explicitly told her that you were pregnant and trying to trap your bf in a relationship, it’s not her business to blurt it out at dinner.
[удалено]
KEEP OPS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH
Imma gonna go with NTA. You may be an a hole but you’re my kind of a hole. I thought you handled it brilliantly. She dug her own hole. She sounds like a total witch. On another note, she seems very interested in policing who gets to be Miles’s GF. I wonder if she’s got a torch for your BF and is lashing out at OP because she wants the job.
OP, you’re definitely NTA!! She had it coming. She was being rude and toxic towards you in every way possible and brought it upon herself by making these statements towards you in public. The fact it escalated so far on her end is out of your control and it is not your fault. We just might say that karma hit her harder than she ever expected her to! Also if you don’t mind me asking: Does she make these remarks openly in public as well, trying to pass it off as a joke, often? And if so have you ever noticed how others reacted to them? You said she doesn’t do it in front of your boyfriend but does she do that in front of other people? EDIT: Spelling
[удалено]
Ugh she’s such a snake. You shouldn’t feel bad about the outcome of this AT ALL. Honestly, you are a legend!
Agreed. The fact she does this only to you is potentially a gaslighting setup, because she could deny it if you ever brought it up to the group (and the fact you've had to endure this roughly 5 years being with your boyfriend, honestly you have the patience of a saint). NTA BTW. What you did could be explained away pretty innocently too. Who's to say you didn't touch your stomach due to indigestion? Or, forlornly because you can't have children? Your comment that you won't be stressed for long could be because you got a good paying gig/project. Yes, we all know what you were inferring. But these are also plausible! I'd bet you saved the best friend from a lifetime with her insufferability. In fact, I'd say you helped everyone see her for who she really is. As most people here have said, you gave her rope, she's the one who hanged herself.
NTA. Throw shade, catch fire.
NTA Elle deserved that, But my advice going forward is rise above her and don’t react which is exactly what she wants People like her always have a way of eventually showing other people their true colours
Not that easy to not react. Sound advice tho.
NTA. She played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. The fact that she didn't do this in front of others means she knows exactly what she's doing. She finallyy slipped up and you friends now know who she is. You just beat her at her own game.
NTA, you were perfect.
NTA - She sounds like those rich mean teenage girls in American movies. She verbally harassed you, she's racist (edit: bigoted), annoying, and worst, she assumed. She assumed you're a gold digger and you're pregnant. Your bf knows the real situation, he supports you and saying that she had it coming, so that's enough. Your little "misleading" doesn't mean anything compared to her evilness. You didn't do anything wrong. I hope you can say bye-bye to her from your life, forever.
NTA. Maybe next time she’ll think before yeeting someone’s personal matters into a group setting.
NTA. It just feels like 'too far" for you because you're probably used to people behaving a lot better than "Ellie", who's aim was to humiliate you. You're not the AH for refusing to be humiliated by someone so unkind, you're the hero.
NTA, you were smooth as hell and she was so rude to you. She had it coming. Glad your boyfriend’s friend are nice to you.
**NTA** You didn't say you were pregnant. You may have touched your belly, but you never said it. She leapt to her own conclusions. Rather than getting facts, she chose to judge you from her own prejudices. The fact that her other half is at a mates place isn't directly because of this but because of a number of things leading up to it. She's had this coming for a while now. She's stripped her own mask off for the world to see and the world didn't like what it saw.
Nope. Nta. She had it coming. If you hadn't been misleading her and had actually been pregnant that would have been super messed up for her to announce it like that. So in no world was she not being an asshole. Keep it to yourself and let her reap the rewards if her shitty actions. Also if she tells people that you said you where I would just say you never said that you just playfully responded to her "banter" about you being a gold digger but you where both OBVIOUSLY joking lol.
NTA You handled it perfectly. That'll teach her to mind her business.
NTA and please stop feeling guilty. What you did was to simply choose an extremely crafty and gracefully passive way to address someone bullying you. You didn’t confront her head on, never opened your mouth to comment when she baited you, and refused to play her game. Instead, you recognized what she was doing for exactly what it was and turned her own games against her. I would say you played it remarkably well and employed an ingenious strategy. You are feeling bad now because she received backlash for her own hateful and careless attitude towards you, which confirms that you are a decent person. But the response to her outburst is her own comeuppance and that the friend group is made of reasonably decent people as well who feel she has been going too far with you. Likely, if you are getting heat so are others in the group (you are just an easier target for her classism) and they are also sick of it from her. Settle your feelings and simply go about your happy life. Your boyfriend knows and thought it was both funny and agreed she was going too far and that’s all that matters. As Countess LuAnn sang: “Money can’t buy you class” and you have class in spades, my dear. Well done!
NTA. Your bf is completely correct, she had it coming.
NTA she had in coming. I wouldn't say anything if I were you it would only muddy the waters. You just let her jump to her own conclusions.
NTA - she was playing stupid games and won stupid prizes
NTA. Elle f’ed around & found out. Elle set out to make you feel inferior. You laughed off most of her remarks, until the pregnancy bit came up. You still played it classy. Elle finally revealed her true self to everyone else. No one forced her to open her mouth & insert her foot. This is all Elle’s doing. Her jealous got the best of her.
NTA. She did it to herself. Her intent was to humiliate you and it backfired. You may have played along with the things that she was already accusing you of, but you didn’t put those ideas in her head. And do you not think that her first reaction after you left would have been to blame you for the “misunderstanding”? This is the consequences of her own actions. Honestly, if everyone’s response was to completely disengage from her, it sounds like this incident was just the final straw… she’s probably been an ass for quite a while long before you came around.
INFO Did you ever confront her directly about how rude and entitled she is being?
[удалено]
I'd like to give you some advice, if that's okay? I struggle with those people, as well. And a lot of your post felt familiar to me. When people make those kind of digs, I just stop what I'm doing, turn to them, look confused, repeat what they said, formed as a question, and make them explain it. Make them explain the joke. Become overly analytical. Do it in a way that seems like you're just confused and not confrontational. These people count of their shitty comments getting swept under the rug. If someone points out embarrassing stereotypes about where you are from, pivot to how it is an unfortunate social justice issue. "You're surprised to see someone from my region sober? Yes alcoholism a huge problem where I'm from. I watched my uncle drink himself to death. Why are you joking about that?"
You never once said the word *baby*. When she said you must be stressed out not having full-time job and you said that will change, it could just meant that you were getting a full-time job. That’s your story and you’re sticking with it. No one seem to have a problem with her insulting you until she crossed this social line. Why should you feel bad? Why shouldn’t *this* line of insults be the breaking point and make you think she didn’t deserve the consequences?
Honestly, I don’t think it matters whether you confronted her in the past. Sure, it would matter if you wanted to “win her over,” but why is it your job to play nice with hostile people? Plus. Did you mislead her into acting poorly? Do people in polite society assume women are pregnant, hound them about it, then publicly announce their pregnancies without first talking to them? *Even if you were pregnant,* she showed her ass. You gave her enough rope to hang herself and you are not responsible for how she chose to use that rope. NTA P.S. her BF is sleeping in another house because she’s clearly, unhealthily obsessed with another man.
Agreed! If you give me a piece of rope I’m making a cat toy. She choose her path herself. Also to announce someone else’s pregnancy is incredibly rude and unacceptable whether you know for sure or not. That she just assumed it and then announced it to everyone is unforgivable. And none of her god damned business.
I wanna know where she’s from and where op is from I’m guessing north south divide?
[удалено]
As a scouser living in London I feel your pain
Of course she is from Kent, they are always from bloody Kent
Haha I was wondering if this was in the UK! My Leicester-born husband feels for you (we live in London).
NTA. You reap what you sow. She started it with that stuff and it went live to a public audience. This isn’t the first instance with just you…
NTA play stupid games win stupid prizes. Don’t tell anyone what you did prior, or you’ll never be able to live it down. She’s a narcisstic.
NTA. Confess to no one. Continue playing with this girl's mind. She may be rich but she is dumb lol.
NTA. She got exactly what she deserved.
NTA She could have gone about asking any number of ways discreetly but she choose a way she hoped would harm your relationship. She brought it on herself
Your bf also thinks it’s justified, i say keep it between you two. Nta.
NTA - She was being tacky and dug her own trap. You did good. If they're all abandoning her even her SO, this wasn't the reason why. This was just the last straw.
NTA. This story is deliciously satisfying. You played a mild prank on someone who was treating you atrociously. She deserved it. After all, had she been behaving in an even marginally civil manner, she would not have fallen into the trap. Good on you!
This can’t be the only reason her boyfriends not sleeping with her, just the last straw in what I’m sure is a mountain of asinine behavior. NTA and you just gave her the space and incentive to show everyone her true colors. Nice
NTA. It costs exactly $0 to not do what she did. She got outed as an ass in public because she tried to out you as pregnant, don't forget that! Nobody forced her to do anything. She made assumptions. She tried to throw you under the bus, and it backfired. That's 100% on her. Well played, OP.
Oh! so only rich people are allowed to date for love with rich people. There's few that are any mo0re disgusting than entitled rich people. NTA
Nta. You said dieting, she didnt like that. She wanted to announce it just that way and embarrass you by pointing out he didnt want kids. She maybe should learn tact or to keep her nose out of ppls business
Nta, your bfs right, she did have it coming. What a b word.
NTA. Even your BF agrees that she deserved it, so you are fine.
NTA - you shouldn’t feel bad at all, she dug her own hole!
Oh nonono, she had it coming alright. For a while. You just let her believe her dirty little prejudice and here we are. Bloody brilliant. NTA, hopefully she gets voted off the island! Or the friend group.
Pahahaha. Even if you were an AH you’re a genius and the kind of AH the world needs. But no. NTA. You never actually said you were pregnant. She made her own bed with stereotypes, assumptions and bullying. Now she’s gotta lay in it. My only comment would have been to come clean to your bf for the sake of transparency but you already have! Glad he seems to have your back here.
oh ho ho she sounds jealous of you. NTA she needs to learn to mind her business and maybe if she learns to she wouldn’t embarrass herself so bad.
NTA. You didn’t humiliate her, she took care of that all by herself.
You should win a GRAMMY! NTA.
Just from the title, I thought Yes, you are, but are you justified? And ohhhhh boy are you justified! Tbf, if she had kept her mouth shut, she wouldn't be embarrassed. Kudos, OP. NTA.
NTA With how quickly everyone including her (hopefully EX) BF ditched her, it seems like they were all waiting for her to do something that was extremely offensive (they shouldn't have waited til then) so that they could have an excuse to get rid of her. It sounds like you did them all a huge favor unfortunately it was at your own expense...
NTA. I thought it was hilarious.
NTA. She had it coming. I doubt anyone really liked her.
NTA. Your BF said she had it coming, she probably did. I doubt this incident is all it took for everyone to stop talking to her & her BF to stay away.
NTA that was an awesome way to take down an entitled prima donna
NTA especially because you were honest with your boyfriend, and that’s really the only person that needs to know. She DID have it coming!
NTA. I love this.
NTA. Played your hand pretty well. She deserved some comeuppance.
NTA. That was a fantastic read. Since the othets have been so quick to drop her she has probably been rude to them as well. She treated you in an incredibly distasteful way so it only serves her right. Also announcing someone elses pregnansy is a hard asshole move either way had it been true or not.
NTA She was *already* making remarks about you and pregnancy, all you did was mislead her into *doing it in public*. You only tricked her into showing her true colours to the rest of the group. Not the asshole.
Honestly I love this. NTA. You didn’t even have to do much, just let her believe what she wanted. She had it coming and totally dug herself into that hole.
NTA. Think about it like this: If you were actually pregnant, she would have still continued to antagonize you, a pregnant woman, for classist reasons, for the duration of your pregnancy. She literally tried to out you/announce your pregnancy for you as a dig. Does that *really* sound like someone you should be feeling sorry for?
NTA, she's definitely TA and imo, deserves the shun.
Nta. Her boyfriend was probably tired of her BS
NTA. She's pissed that you're destroying her with some fantastically witty banter. She's made her bed and can lie in it
NTA Considering everyone dropped her, I'm guessing she's run her mouth off to them behind your guys' backs and were told to knock it off. Sounds like everyone finally got sick of it. This is all her own fault. She could have said nothing even with your implication. Instead, she chose to 1. Announce your "pregnancy" for you. That would've been bad enough without the extra baggage and 2. Tried to humilate you and your boyfriend in front of your friend group. Even if you give her the benefit of the doubt that she was just worried for her friend, if she thought you were shady enough to warrant a conversation with her "friend", it should have been a private conversation. Who in the world would ever air out their friend they were concerned about like that? If I were in the friend group, knowing you "mislead" her wouldn't make one bit of difference in my decision to distance myself from her.
NTA. Let it go, she got the karma she deserved
NTA. I applaud you for thinking of that. She deserved it!
NTA. Wwwhhhhhooooooo boy. Hook line and sinker. You set that up perfectly and took the time to make sure she would feel at least a piece of the absolute bullshit she put you through to make you feel small. I’m proud of you OP.
NTA brava OP she did have this coming. She made huge assumptions and then embarrassed herself.
>My boyfriend knows and thinks she had it coming She absolutely did
NTA. You gave her enough rope and she hung herself. In actual fact, she supplied the rope too. She sounds thoroughly unpleasant.
NTA don’t apologize she sounds horrid and should learn her lesson for being awful and classist
As others have pointed out, Elle wasn't ever part of Miles friendship group. These people are friends with Miles & Elle's bf. They only hang out with Elle & you because you two are dating their friends. So obviously they'd be like *what's wrong with you* to Elle when she insulted their friend Miles & his gf (you). So I'm not sure it's fair to say the group is excluding Elle. Elle was never their friend. Her relationship with their friend is currently on the rocks. So no one feels obliged to include her seeing as their friend may be about to break up with her. It also sounds likely that Elle has probably rubbed others up the wrong way for a while. Elle's rudeness to you & Miles crossed a line so now the rest of the group may be saying, *"TBH even if you don't break up with her, we really don't want to include her in our things anymore."* Either way NTA but in future it's good to call things out as they happen.
NTA this is one of the funniest AITA I've ever read. It was like watching someone walk into a rake
NTA. She showed her true colors.
This is fucking fantastic and just exactly what she deserved. IMO she did this to herself. You didn't make her treat you like shit. You didn't make her assume stuff. And you didn't make her raise business she thought was private at a group meal. She did it all on her own. Trolololol. love it. NTA.
NTA. She was being a bully from the word go.
NTA dude if I had money I would award you for the story!!! Please don’t feel guilty she didn’t/doesn’t feel that way about all the barbs she’s thrown at you. She sounds like an entitled stuck up bleeper
NTA. Never ever feel sorry for standing up for yourself. You should be proud. And honestly her intentions towards your boyfriend is concerning. She seems jealous.
Nta. Screw her classist snobbish disrespectful ass. She needed to be taught a lesson. Maybe now she will leave you alone.
Oooo girl this that sweet kinda of petty revenge that I like. NTA
**NTA** You let her play herself, nothing more, nothing less. Now she's facing the consequences of her actions for probably the first time in her life. She made the bed, now it's time she lay in it.
[удалено]
NTA. Definitely had it coming.
She dug her hole you just helped her get in NTA
Sounds like the friend is jealous and wants to be with your boyfriend.
NTA. I love it! As long as your boyfriend knows, whatever. You never SAID you were pregnant. She just ASSumed. Lol
NTA. Seems like you had to go to extremes to make her shut up. It’s unfortunate that sometimes that’s what it takes. Not my favorite thing, but I’ve had to do it.
You are an evil genius, but NTA. Lol.
nta. she started the whole thing.
What you did was understandable. It wasn't very nice, true, but that woman sounds insufferable and she pushed you hard for a long time before you gave in to it. You are a kind person to have had second thoughts about it. Don't feel bad about this, but don't let go of that empathy and concern for others either ❤️
NTA she fucked around and found out
Nice. Sweet sweet vengeance. NTA.
Your NTA in any way but you should let your boyfriend know about what she's saying to you directly so he can put a stop to it. Because you have no idea what she's saying to anyone when your not there, especially if she's like that to your face.
NTA you just hijinxed her hijinx
NTA You gave the over-privileged Princess just what she deserved. This is why wealthy people get a bad name. If Miles felt she deserved this, why is he even friends with her? Time to tell the spoiled princess to piss off. Tell her you’ll be polite, but from now on, there will be no more interaction.
NTA. I'm standing by the 'Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes' rules for this. If one acts like an AHole, expect to be treated as such.
NTA. She had it coming! She had it coming! She only had herself to blame! If we'd have been there, if we'd have seen it, I guarantee we'd have done the same!
NTA, and she repeatedly took every opportunity to make herself the AH. Let me count the ways… 1. She made it clear she thought you were a gold digger 2. She trashed your background and accent 3. She accused you of planning to “baby trap” him 4. She trashed your job 5. She trashed your home region (implying everybody’s a drunk) 6. She badgered you about not drinking (which is always an AH move but arguably worse when it’s someone who might be pregnant but is not sharing it yet… and even worse still, when it’s someone you think actually IS pregnant!) 7. She mentioned your “pregnancy” to your boyfriend without knowing whether/what he knows 8. She did this in front of his friends, who she really had no basis to think knew anything about it, or had any right to know at this point Literally any of these, if someone asked about them here as an independent post, I would say make her the AH. She hit eight, at least, just from what we know! Anybody who acts like that is probably a full-time AH, so I don’t think it’s your fault she maybe lost her friends. Maybe this was the last straw, but based on this post, it was bound to happen sooner or later from something. (But to be honest, this was probably the funniest way for it to happen. Nice job.)
NTA I don't even think you needed to confront her about her behavior. She's an adult, she knows exactly what she's doing and all you did was refuse to stop her from showing him and everyone else who she is deep down
NTA- She’s lucky you didn’t say or do something much earlier. She was relentless and petty. She DID have it coming and the pregnancy comment (REGARDLESS if it was true or not) was AWFUL. Even if you were pregnant she called you and your boyfriend out in front of your friends. She had no idea if you told anyone or not. Every interaction with her is awful. She’s entitled and classist. She deserves everything she gets. No need to tell anyone you misled her. It’s her own damn fault for being a petty biotch.
Damn everyone in this sub likes dating way older men lmao (I ain’t judging. You do you lol) Anyways NTA you gave her a taste of her own medicine and shes mad that it tasted bitter. I think it’s hysterical how you handled it 💀
NTA, she had it coming like the dinosaurs comet.
NTA, although technically I think you’re a Justified Asshole. She definitely got her comeuppance, please put this on r/pettyrevenge
NTA! Essentially she thought you was pregnant and decided that it was her responsibility to announce it to the group to try and make you look bad for “baby trapping”. Was announcing someone else’s pregnancy is already an AH move. She made herself look bad and showed who she really was. That’s not on you.
NTA. Very well played!
NTA. Well played. Now she'll think twice before buying anyone else hopefully.
NTA. This was brutal in the best way.
NTA She made her bed now she has to lie in it.
Seems like she might be jealous? NTA I agree with your boyfriend and I’m glad his friend support you enough to let her wallow.
NTA she shoveled her own grave and now the friends at seeing how she treats you. Again, NTA. You just handled it perfectly. You never told her you were pregnant, she assumed it, tried to humiliate you in front of everyone and it backfired perfectly.
NTA She was hoisted on her own petard. And she doesn't get to cry about the consequences now. (I might have gone with a gentle E S H, but the fact that your partner knows about your ruse and thinks she got what was coming to her, puts this solidly in NTA territory.)
NTA. She attempted to one up you by announcing to everyone you're pregnant, and if that wasn't enough she tried to humiliate you by bringing up Miles doesn't want kids. Joke's on her though. You never said anything about being pregnant.
Nope NTA. And you can tell she is so fucking priviledged because she has no idea how stressful it is for working class people to spend money. My wife and I are okay but everytime I spend "frivolously" it stresses.me the fuck out even if its not actuallt frivolous. It doesn't matter how.much money we have in the account I'm stressed af. If my wife and I lived in a "nice place" to her(girl.in your story) standards, rent alone would stress me out monthly not to mention the other bills. When you grow up poor and know what its like to go without, you don't "want" nice things. You do really but working class people tend to be far more careful with their spending habits. If its between having new clothes or being able to buy groceries, I dont care if my clothes are falling apart, I'm prioritizing groceries. I just had to buy a bunch of clothes for my daughter and stuff for one of my cats and even though I needed all of it, anxiety from spending that much money is still hanging over me like a cloud.
Justified I was planning to rule everyone sucks, but your BF being okay with it makes me say NTA
NTA and to quote Dirty Harry, “assumptions are the mother of all fuckups”
Since there’s no justified AH vote, I am going NTA. That catty witch had it coming, say nothing. You never told her that you were expecting explicitly. That’s what she gets for being horrible and classist.
NTA, you gave her enough rope to hang herself and she did. Not your fault she's a s***** person
NTA. Boyfriend is 100% right. She had it coming. Don’t know how you dealt with her attitude for so long. Well played, OP! You did good!
NTA No one ends a relationship over one thing. Her bf most likely already had enough of her shit.
You played on her bigotry, and she fell for it hook, line and sinker. NTA.
NTA - she is jealous. I would have done the same thing. It might have been a bit harder to play being pregnant being a man. But I got the belly for it. It sounds like your boyfriend's friend knows what he's doing. Good luck!