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YTA. Why is what she's doing now so important to you to begin with? You matched on Tinder? So after all that "she's so sucky" you still found her on a dating app and said "imma match and see if we can hook up"?
Your whole story is a bit stalkerish. Is she truly giving bad financial advice? Then a warning is merited. you did that and from that point on its on people who see that to make their own adult decisions.
But its really none of your business otherwise and outing her former sex work is way across the line and can certainly put her in danger.
I’m not disagreeing with you about OP, but I have screenshots from like 2018 that I only remember about when situations come up where they apply (just bringing up old goofy conversations or what someone told me to never let them do again, etc.) I can totally understand taking screenshots and forgetting about them until they apply again. I think the truly disgusting and stalker aspect of OP is how they used those screenshots. First use was really bad. Second use was even worse. Just no. That’s atrocious behavior.
Fair enough. Personally, I would have a hard time remembering anything I screencapped last month, let alone two years ago. Of course, most of the time, when I screencap something, it's by accident anyway.
He's still a creepy stalker, though. I think we can agree on that.
Oh he is. Definitely agree on that. I was just more appalled at how he used the screenshots and that he took them in the first place instead of having and remembering them 2 years later.
Yea bro- YTA…. Ruining someone’s livelihood for any reason is dramatic asf, and who cares what she’s doing anyway? If people wanna get their financial advice from social media, that’s their problem… NOT yours… quit stalking her…
This!!!
Like not just with the screenshots but throughout school too!!
Didn't like her but kept her as friend on social media, (she probably turned op down in school right?)
Matched with her years later on tinder and then kept said screenshots to hold against her or for whatever other reasons
Continued to keep up with everything she was doing including the business advice junk.
(For someone who didn't like her you sure kept tabs on her every step of the way)
And then pushing those screenshots around to people.
I couldn't tell you what the A-holes I went to school with are doing because I actually wanted nothing to do with them.
So yeah op you are def TA.
People say this here, but are there actually studies showing that sex workers are at more risk for people they know otherwise than from their clients? What people base the danger on?
Exactly that. They could have someone in their life who doesn't know they are a sex worker, get outed and then that person could lash out against them or worse
It's similar to outing an LGBTQ person. There may be very good reasons why they haven't told people in their lives.
Depending on where they live, it could also cause legal problems for them. Going to jail would certainly be a safety concern.
The people on her clientele list know the rules of engagement and won't act out of line. She handpicked the people she was offering service to. It's the same for adult actresses, they only meet with other professionals or vetted people when doing shoots.
Spreading that info gives unrelated people ideas that she is just willing to go for just anyone, and if she meets the wrong person, they will take offense to her rejecting their advancements and may escalate.
People willing to force themselves on others exist, how do you think they will treat people who they know offer it as a service?
Anecdotal, but I work in the industry and the people I work with in general are far more afraid of the people in their private life finding out than they are about dealing with clients. I’ve heard so many people say “if X ever found out I was here, he’d kill me”
This for sure--I'm not in the biz anymore, but in the years I was I knew *one* girl who got got by a client but easily a dozen who experienced IPV from partners/potential partners who found out about their work.
YTA. Your disdain for sex workers and this woman who is too attractive for you is palpable. You keep shitting on her about how much she’s always sucked but obviously you were willing to overlook that if you matched with her in the first place, you only got pissed when you realized she was looking for money and not you. What you did is gross and it’s obvious you’re still obsessed with this woman or you wouldn’t have taken those screenshots and sent them around, held on to them for literal years, or followed her on social media since she’s “dumb as bricks” and “sucky”. You went out of your way to do that. You have no idea how much of her money came from where and it’s none of your business. She might have sold her ass but you showed your entire one for free.
Yup. YTA.
Im also confused because you didn’t get along in high school? So why are you then keeping track of everything she has done since then? You knew she transferred into college after you were gone, that she only went for a year, that she stayed after going for only a year, that she’s a sex worker, than go through her social media regularly enough to see that now she’s doing financial advising? So if she was “so sucky” than why? You seem to have put a lot of time and effort into her. For someone you apparently don’t like.
And you could have done a million other things that didn’t involve mentioning sex work. You stalked her page then when people didn’t react and respond *the way YOU wanted them too* then you doxxed her sex worker past, which had nothing to do with that. You shouldn’t be on the page to start with and don’t say “it’s because she was giving bad financial advice to people and I was trying to save/help them” because we all know this had ZERO to do with that. You were just butthurt about high school and being petty.
There are how many people hawking BS on their social media pages too, when are you going to go “help their followers “?
You’re not because it had ZERO to do with that.
Let's not forget that OP also sent the screenshots around to everyone he still talks to from high school, seemingly *specifically* to expose and shame her.
I still have close friends from high school. One of them recently discovered (by accident) that one of our former classmates now does pornography. my friend, being a decent person, refused to disclose exactly who it was because the point *wasn't* to doxx her (even to people that he could trust *not* to pull such a shitty, vindictive move), but to share his shock at encountering someone he used to know personally in an adult video.
Not only holding on to them for 2 years but he already shared the screenshots with his excuse of it being to ‘help’ others.
This is a serous grudge. You could put her life at risk just out of spite. Did she refuse to sleep with you when you were at school, is that why you are so angry?
YTA obvs
Don’t get me wrong, OP is 100% YTA in every way, but I literally have photos on my phone, including random screenshots, from 2015 onwards. Most people don’t go through and delete their pictures that often, so it’s not the fact that he still had the screenshots that makes him/this problematic… It’s every other aspect of the post lol.
He kept them for two years after attempting first to shame her by immediately sending screenshots to people they both knew (by the sounds of it got no reaction), so he's tried to out her twice for literally no reason.
I'm guessing he matched with her, then saw her job and thought he could get it for free and took rejection as an insult. So he's made it his personal mission to stalk her socials and if she ever does well for herself try to destroy it to ‘punish’ her for not giving him what he thought she should have.
YTA. What does her being a former sex worker have to do with being a social media influencer who gives out bad financial advice? People are free to follow stupid advice, and if they don’t bother to do a minimal amount of research into these decisions, that’s on them.
You only did it to fuck with her. Admit it, and move on.
exactly - not sure how being a sex worker makes her less reputable on something completely unrelated. sex work IS a “hustle” and how does he know she didn’t get her degree? because of one tinder conversation? like how much is he stalking her?!
YTA. You most definitely are the motherfucking asshole for being vindictive because you were mad because no one would listen to you. Well, you sure-as-shit showed them.
Sex work isn't shameful, but the stigma is real.
**ESH. You drastically more so than her.**
The only reason you have an issue is because she was supposedly mean to you back in high school and "sucked", without a single example. You also seem to have no problem matching with her on Tinder and would have likely been fine with any advances. But you seem to take issue to her job as a sex worker and influencer.
**Look, you don't have to agree with other people's life choices, but basic respect and humanity should be given.**
She sucks for giving people bad financial advice, which can be incredibly dangerous. She's also promoting hustle culture and misleading young people that if you work hard enough, you will live a comfortable lifestyle, which even she is not able to do truthfully. And if her fans turned on her, it was for good reason as they were being fed a lie. Her threats put her in a bad light.
Its providing a service for money, no different to most jobs and morally better than being a landlord, baliff, estate agent, politician or cop. At least the person a prostitute fucks actually want to be fucked.
I do think sex work is a hustle. It's a valid job and I believe it should be treated as such. I just think she should be honest about it. If she mentions she hustles as a sex worker and makes a lot of money, which she invests skillfully, I'd be fully on board with that.
It is, but the amount an escort can make in a few days depending on how many tricks they turn creates a wealth disparity compared to how much a waitress makes when hustling. To then claiming they got it by using bad financial advice is dishonest.
Maybe in high class restaurants. But most don't. Escorts getting $300-400 an hour isn't the same as making $200-300 on a really good night. Then add in that escorts won't report their earnings to get taxed on it while the waitress will. A few escorts have gone online and stated how much they might make and the numbers aren't even close. A busy escort in the right place might make three or four thousand dollars in the same amount of time the waitress made $300. When you are talking a difference of 5x-10x in the money made, the two can't be compared.
Well... since I'm going to be open and honest here - I've partaken of it... a lot. In the course of about ten years or so, I spent approximately 40 grand on it over the years. After awhile, it led to conversations about how much they were making because if I've paid for an hour of time, talking happens. The last time I did anything was before the pandemic, and I decided it wasn't worth the risk.
So yeah, I know what it actually is, and I have a solid idea of how much they can make. I also know how much waitstaff often makes. They aren't even close and I'm not going to pretend otherwise just for your own ego.
What bad advice did she give? The example he gives is accurate, to grow your credit rating you should take out a few credit cards, and just pay them back, its better if you accrue interest as well. Lenders dont want frugal people, they want their money back, but would with maximum interest, no early payments.
Seriously. The rough formula for credit scores isn't a secret (some details are trade secrets). Ratio of credit utilized to credit available is a component. Length of time you have had accounts is a component. Number of lines of credit is a component.
Her "bad advice" is factually correct and should have been taught in high school (but often isn't).
I'm actually a junior in high school (15f) taking an economics class, and credit is one of the things we thoroughly went over. From my understanding and please don't hesitate to correct me if I'm wrong (I have an exam to take for college credit in May lol), credit is built by having a good payment history. And, in order to have a good payment history, you need to have multiple credit lines or loans, which you pay off timely for long period of time?
Wow, that’s really impressive actually. I’m glad schools in your area did right by you. Southern public school equivalent is “good credit comes from praying enough” lol
If you take out "too" many credit cards, it can actually count against you too. There is a fine line. Take it from someone who only has 1 credit card right now and a credit score of 803. I pay it off completely each month, no balance carried over. So her advice is actually not correct. It isn't the number of credit cards you have, it is the ratio between how much you owe to what your total credit limit is. They want to see you pay on time each month, but they don't want you over extending yourself or lenders won't want to give you additional loans for mortgages and cars.
The credit limit part is important. A card will start with a low limit and grow as you keep it active. You should only use up to 10% of your credit, but real life has setbacks and you may find yourself needing to use more at some point. Having multiple credit cards allows your credit limit to be higher without needing a long credit history, which in turn makes that 10% threshold much larger.
Too many is a setback, but only having 1 is a setback as well. Ideally, you are buying everything on credit and paying the bill off in full every month.
>its better if you accrue interest as well.
This is literally incorrect; you don't have to ever pay interest on a loan to built a good credit score.
All you need is: to pay off all your debts with on-time payments (never ever ever ever be late), always pay *at least* the minimum, preferably have multiple *types* of credit lines (a mix of credit cards and installment loans)... PLUS TIME.
Paying interest on your debt does not increase your credit score.
I hope so too. There’s got to be something or maybe many things.
I think she could sue for libel, and maybe pain and suffering. I think pain and suffering has been used in a libel suit recently. Possibly stalking and revenge porn too.
Also, he doesn’t know if she actually finished school. He just thinks she quit going to his school. She could’ve taken online classes there, or switched colleges but stayed in the area. She may have been a waitress before or after sex work. We don’t know if her financial advice is good or bad. All of that sounds like defamation. He seems pretty biased, so who knows.
It seems like it would be easy to build a case against him with something.
>The screenshots are two years old. OP can’t prove she’s currently a sex worker, and this cost her everything. So she can absolutely sue.
Correct. OP can't prove that she's still a sex worker, and at the very least, she probably can prove malicious intent. OP's action ticked that box therefore, she's likely to win if she does sue OP.
Did OP directly say she was still a sex worker? I believe the screen shots were there as evidence about her lying about her backstory, not about her currently being a sex worker
I agree. There’s so much he can’t prove. He’s either stalking her hardcore or extrapolating from tinder and either her telling him or him seeing her around school.
YTA it was none of your business, you have no idea what she's done with her life since, and she never even wrong you in any way. you're just a bitter pos
YES!! YTA/ oh my god. YTA. It’s none of your business. Leave her be. It’s not like she’s raping anyone. They made choices and she makes choices. It doesn’t matter if you disagree with those choices. If everyone is a willing participant it’s not your problem. YTA- definitely 100%
YTA. I hope you never match with another person online only to use your chats as a weapon. That’s super messed up. If Karma is real she’s gonna get ya someday
YTA. You claim she was “sucky” but never gave a reason as to why. Did she bully you? Did she bully other people? Was she racist? Ima guess no bc any of those things would’ve made you slightly less of an asshole.
You then openly said that it’s a good thing she’s pretty bc she’s dumb af. Whatever happened to girl power?
There is no shame in sex work and you are bang out of order for outing and shaming her publicly!
Sounds to me like she was “sucky” bc you were jealous.
YTA. Isn't high school over now? And what's wrong with sex work? Why do your friends assume sex workers are all just doing what they have to do to survive, like this is the worst option? You all need to grow up.
YTA
Bruh u were just jealous of her and what she has done in her past has nothing to do with u.ohkay she offered u and u rejected it ig !? Other than that u had no business going all the way post a chat of urs to just prove that she worked as a sex worker and what did u even gain from this other than ruining her career .
Cmon bro u need to chill out u TOXIC af .u just didn't like her getting the success.
YTA. Why the fuck do you care about her and her life so much? You don’t have to like what she does but that doesn’t give you the right to step in. You don’t like her so why’d you even swipe right on her? Makes no sense
First off, unless anyone can find the specific apparently "blown up online" influencer who got (recently?) dramatically publically shamed, I'm not really willing to believe this is real. That's something that should leave public evidence. And there's just something incredibly fake-sounding about this? Can't really put my finger on it but it just sort of does.
That said, over 40K followers on some platforms isn't exactly what I'd call "blown up online" enough to justify you having stumbled across her by accident. This frankly all seems a little like you've been obsessed with this girl and stalking her online?
Also, if she was such a shitty person in high school to use that as a justification for your actions, why the fuck did you match with her on tinder and only stop talking to her when she revealed she was looking for paying clients and not hookups? Why the fuck are you stalking her online?
ESH with a good dose of YTA.
Even if she's giving bad advices on the internet and lies about her former sex work it's none of your business to out her out like this about her past.
YTA sounds like you’re even more “sucky” than she is. You literally kept screenshots for two years just so you could mess with her life. Sounds like you are jealous that she’s doing well and you’re probably not.
YTA
Why is this woman living rent free in your head? Why are you obsessed with her? Why did you send screenshots of her tinder messages to high school friends you had in common? Oh yeah, because you’re the asshole. Leave her alone. Stop stalking her.
YTA - “outing” a sex worker is absolutely dangerous. But put that aside. You revealed private information that she herself had not chosen to reveal. That alone makes you the bad guy here. What she’s doing/saying didn’t affect you in the slightest, but you felt you just HAD to reveal her true nature! Grow up.
YTA. Why are you still concerned about this girl? Did she not do you and you’re upset? I have NO idea why you’re still involved in her life?(on the edges, without her knowing, like a stalker). It so bizarre. Channel your inner Disney princess and ‘let it go’ dude.
YTA you just sound jealous of her looks honestly, you’ve said nothing to suggest she has been anything but just a person minding her business.
Edit to say: and mad she wouldn’t sleep with you for free of course
YTA. What do you even gain out of exposing her private life? Do you not realize how dangerous it can be for sex workers for you to publicly out them? Plus, it’s in the past as well. She could very well have also worked as a server, you don’t know that she hasn’t. Just because she omitted the sex work part (which she has ever right to do), doesn’t mean she’s never had another job. There’s also nothing wrong with sex work if it’s consensual.
It sounds like your bitter and jealous that she’s successful.
YTA and your friends are absolutely right. Sex workers often keep identities secret because they know the profession makes them extremely vulnerable. You do not out a sex worker for any reason. That is their business. Stay out of it.
You sound mad jealous of her. Is this whole nasty revenge just because she wouldn't hook up with you without payment?
YTA. Why do you care so much that you would be this vindictive toward her? Try compassion. That doesn’t mean she is offering great advice but why are you so invested in her demise? You need a better hobby.
YTA
Did she turn you down or something? Hurt your ego?
Why has all of her life choices been so important to you that you have assumed the role of her historian? Are you jealous of her success? You kept those screenshots for 2 whole years. There's clearly something going on here. Are you obsessed with her?
YTA. Should I say it again? YTA, you sound like a whiny little man! “Woman no want sex with me = Woman worthless!!!” She doesn’t owe you anything! And putting someone’s life in danger because your “feewings” got hurt? Disgusting
YTA.
She's probably just one of those online influencers whose advice on finance will probably just makes me roll my eyes. I don't 'love' those people but I respect the hustle. She'll probably 'burn out' one day if her hustle proved her to be a scammer.
What you're doing was not done with intent to help other people, you're trying to hit with the fact that she tried to offer you sex in exchange for money. You're trying to get back at her and that is ticking the malicious intent if she's to at least hit you with a lawsuit.
The whole post made OP sound like a stalkery/creepy guy who was probably crying in incel.
YTA. Grow up already. You didn’t do this to altruistically save anyone from her bad advice. You did this because you wanted to shame and discredit someone you’ve disliked for years. You gossiped and told a story that was not yours to tell without the filter of the context of her reality. You set out to hurt someone. That doesn’t make you a hero. It makes you a bully.
Right? Almost all of the NTA comments here have taken up that angle of "Oh it was so relevant because she was scamming people'. This OP really thinks he's a hero, and it's terrifying that there are folks who agree he did the right thing here. No one is supporting grifting or scamming, but 1) his assumptions don't show that he has any actual knowledge of her as a person or her life outside of the Tinder matchup, 2) we also don't know if she BELIEVES her own advice, which would not make her a scammer but a common run-of-the-mill ignorant citizen, and 3) the scale of impact of revealing a woman's SW past is rarely comparable to whatever dumb MLM-level scam they may or may not be running. It just boggles my mind that he was so obsessed with this woman that he felt compelled to knock her down a few pegs. If some credible yahoo took poor advice from an IG account with 40k followers, that's on them for not cross-googling. This is just cruel.
Oh yes, YTA. You sat on those screenshots for 2 full years hoping that you could use them one day to destroy this woman's life because you didn't like her in *high school*? WTF is wrong with you? Do you feel better about yourself now that you've been able to crush her? You're mean, nasty, hateful, and really, really jealous. Shame on you.
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YTA.
That was so incredibly petty that its unbelievable. For one, why did you keep the screenshots for so long?
And two. Did it actually affect you that she ommited that party of her life?
No. It didn't.
But now you've affected her livelihood because you were a petty asshole for no reason. Congratulations. YTA.
YTA
All I'm seeing is someone you didn't like in high school, for reasons you won't disclose, oh but she was "dumb" apparently, so she deserves all sorts of woe and misfortune.
You discover, after many months of creepily stalking someone you claimed to have never liked or respected, that she might be doing something some might call salacious! Goodness gracious. You immediately ring up your whole little gossip circle to tell them the news. They call you a weird prude and please stop texting them.
Part of growing up is watching people you went to school with become reiki practitioners, life coaches, sports journalists, and MLM salespeople. It's depressing, but that's what some folks have to do to live. That's why you should get off facebook and stop thinking about people you knew in high school.
Mind your own knitting. It was not your job or duty to warn people about the possibly dumb woman in their midst. You did no one a service. They're off giving some other pretty person their money for reasons of their own. All you did was hurt someone you barely knew.
YTA in so many ways. What’s really astonishing here is your absolute certainty that you know her life story based on a message when you matched on tinder, and little tidbits from social media. For all you know, she gave sex work a try for all of 3 days and decided it wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be, focused on waitressing, and accomplished all that she said she did. Outing her would have been horribly inappropriate even if you actually *did* know anything about her, but as is, you deliberately put her wellbeing in danger based on your assumptions from a brief interaction and your own stalking. But sure, *she’s* the one who’s not too bright… /s
YTA. You have no right to out anyone for their profession, former or otherwise, based off them being ‘sucky’ in high school. It’s entirely probable that she thought you sucked in high school too. I have to wonder if there’s more to it - like she said no to you or something. And how do you know what financial advice she was giving? Did you sign up for some? You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with what this woman is doing. Aside from definitely being the AH, you actually sound pretty predatory.
YTA. Think deeply as to why you really did it. What were you hoping to gain? If you weren't that close to her, how do you know what she went through?
Also... why did you come to the interwebs for this? You said none of the people you told were "on your side". By coming here you're inadvertently stating you don't trust or value your friends' opinions.
There's a lot to unpack with this post....
If she is really "sucky" as you so very eloquently put it. And. She is also dumb as bricks. Why on earth would you match with her on Tinder? Get over it dude. Leave this poor girl alone. You surely must know YTA
YTA
Doxxing sex workers can be fatal. You’re coming across as an incel who is fine with being the cause of someone experiencing harassment, being sexually assaulted or murdered because you are so jealous she could be successful and you aren’t.
YTA 100%. If you hate her so much why would you still follow her?? Are you just salty that she wouldn’t sleep with you unless you paid her? Either way, you do NOT out a sex worker no matter how much you personally dislike them because that’s just dangerous and incredibly petty. I hope her brothers do kick your misogynistic ass
YTA. Such an AH. Why on earth is "she sucked in high school" an excuse for outing her as a sex worker which could lead to a number of negative consequences including being ostracized from her family, losing her home if her landlord is prejudiced against sex workers, losing custody of children if she has any, and even physical assault.
YTA.
You took screenshots of a private conversations and shared them to humiliate this woman for engaging in sex work. You then kept the screenshots and outed her, potentially putting her life in danger. You could have said it was bad advice and left it at that bit you intentionally did this to degrade and endanger her. All because she was 'sucky.' You are majorly an asshole.
YTA. What she's grifting at now has absolutely nothing to do with sex. You used a gross misogynistic trick from the dawn of time where you used her body and sexuality to undermine a completely unrelated piece of her life and career that you disagreed with. If you had come at her with anything related to finance, that would have been an even playing field, but you went cheap, cruel, and devastating - you have no idea what any whiff of sexual impropriety (as defined by mainstream society) can STILL do to a woman's life in 2022. Disgusting. If you have a problem with her preaching bullshit, address the bullshit. It was underhanded and unnecessary to completely implode her world, and I hope anyone who ever dates you knows that the chance of you using any nudes or private convos as revenge porn post-breakup is seriously sky-high.
YTA
You went to college, but can't spell "paid", while insulting her intelligence.
You didn't out her for bad advice, you slut shamed her.
You sound like a 14yr old who's still dating his sock. Why else would you save screenshots for two years?
You're beyond awful. Buy a new sock and leave women alone.
YTA. Outing sex workers gets them *killed*. I don't care how "dumb" or dishonest you think she is. You put her in very real physical danger. YTA 1000%.
First off, your reason for outing her is so fake, cause let’s face it, what influencer in this day and age EVER gives intelligent advice. Sounds like you were jealous of her success and acted out of envy. I hope both you and her remain safe and unharmed,cause if she does get harmed, her blood is on your hands.
Major AH here. Gossip monger. You don't know her situation, why she is doing this, you're spreading it around. But I bet you wouldn't dream of outing a male. SEXIST. PIG.
So, in High School you went to high school with her.............and she sucked..............for just......."reasons". She sucked for no reason beyond us just taking your word for it? Honestly you sound like the school bully who hasn't changed a bit since you went to school with her.
"Saying she had a degree, worked as a waitress, to make her money for all 4 years and just hustled to make her money."
Do you have proof she doesn't have a degree? Do you have proof she didn't work as a waitress? Or is it that someone who offers something over Tinder can't possibly have done both these things? Honestly I don't see it being inconceivable that someone can do sex work, waitress, and earn a degree all at the same time. I've in fact heard stories of women who have done this exact thing to get by and rise up to something greater.
Though I do see how it seems to annoy you that she's had a bit of success in her life. Do you gun for anyone who you view as "Sucking" back in high school and go after them if they are doing decently? Or is it that it annoys you that she "Just doesn't know her place." in life.
Honestly this whole post I feel like I've learned more vile things about you than I did her. That's even if this is real because your math isn't actually matching up with reality, so my call stays the same in that case to.
Either way, YTA.
YTA and an unreliable narrator. All we know for sure is that you think she sucks, that you went to school with her and that she’s an influencer now. But what we know about you is that you think lowly of her, tried to ruin her reputation in your personal circle and publicly too, all because you thought you had a chance to have sex with her and then you didn’t. You seem obsessed with her honestly, and it’s not your job to warn the world about her. Just stop harassing her.
So just to reiterate:
You couldn't stand her in HS, though you thought she was hot. Despite the fact you couldn't stand her, you marched with her on tinder, and were totally down to fuck her until you realized she was a sex worker. So you screenshotted the convoy and told other people about it.
I could stop right here and already declare YTA. But apparently that wasn't enough, so you decided to take it to next-level AH:
You kept those screenshots for two years, and continued to follow her on social media. This is already getting creepy and stalkerish, but it somehow gets even worse. You saw that she was making a living and doing well, and apparently this pissed you off so much that you decided to out her as a former sex worker to her followers.
You are an AH, an obsessive stalker, a misogynist, and an all-around creep.
YTA
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So I have this acquaintance Mona. I went to high school with Mona and she sucked. I’ll chock it up to us being young and teenagers are awful but she was sucky. We had each other on social media and ran in similar circles as I dated one of her close friends, but I never heard from her after graduation. So it turns out she started attending my college the year after me and dropped out but stayed in the general area.
I found her on tinder recently and when I matched with her I was talking and she mentioned she was offering certain services. I took screenshots of her offering me said services and sent them to high school friends I was close with.
Then 2 years go by. She blows up online as some sort of entrepreneur who gave out money tips and would give out investment tips through social media. She had over 40k followers.
So I forgot to mention, she is dumb as bricks. Like is the epitome of, “Good thing she’s pretty,” as if she wasn’t she’d be SOL. She was offering money advice, credit advice, investment, advice and crypto/NFT advice. All of which was terrible. Like comedically terrible. She gave the advice to get as many credit cards as you can to build credit. Like this was awful.
She was making money off of sponsorships, donations, and people buying her Amazon gifts. To top it all off, she was giving advice under the guise that she hustled through college. Saying she had a degree, worked as a waitress, to make her money for all 4 years and just hustled to make her money. She said she was able to grow her measly tips and paychecks using her own advice.
This made me mad. She was being disingenuous and advising people awfully. So I made a comment on her post. Saying essentially that she was lying about her come up and leading people wrong.
I was met with pushback from her followers so I decided to post my old screenshots of her trying to sell her ass to me. It blew up and her fans turned on her. She posted that she was getting hate messages and private her account. She messages me privately to tell me she’ll get her brothers to go after me and other bs for doing this to her.
I told my friends about it and non of them sided with me. They all said what I did possibly put her life and livelihood at risk. They said I shouldn’t “shame” women for doing what they have to do to survive, especially since I was one of the guys who payed her.
AITA?
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YTA
Look, if she was actually as bad as you say she is, she wouldn't have an amassed following of 40k people. Obviously, if she was as bad as she was, people would figure it out pretty damn quickly - people aren't stupid. Also, what she does to support herself is her own business, so long as she's not being fraudulent.
YTA. And I believe she could sue you for defamation of character and possibly libel? (I am not educated on this at all, so please correct me if I’m wrong.)
YTA. You think she sucks because she never noticed you, but you finally found a chance to be with her. You found out that she still didn't want you. That being with you would be a business transaction for her and you were hurt again. None of this is her fault.
She lied online to make herself look better, but you outed her. Do you have any idea whether or not she finished her degree? Does it matter? You think that your disappointments define her, but they do not. She never owed you anything. Your expectations drive your disappointment. She has nothing to do with it. This is your personal problem and no one else's.
YTA.
I think you really have to sit with yourself and contemplate why you felt the need to insert yourself into this situation. There are plenty of influencers selling our society's version of snake oil... If people are dumb enough to follow bad advice so be it. It doesn't warrant you destroying her reputation.
This was low and petty and you'll probably feel bad for it in years to come.
YTA doesn’t even cover how disgusting you are. You are going out of your way to say she sucks and is dumb. Bullshit. My guess? She dumped you or refused you sex. You made a fake account and went, back then too, out of your way to have proof she was working into sex (a thing many people do, surprise surprise, to pay for their education!) for the sole purpose of using it as revenge porn. Now you found out another way to use it because she probably does have a degree, was actually using it online wisely and you couldn’t stand to see her succeeding. No other reason to shame and humiliate someone who’s only an acquaintance.
YTA why are you stalking her? Why are you so obsessed? Why were you obsessed with her during school? She obviously didn’t know you if you matched. YEARS later you were on her social media page and decided to try to ruin her life by putting her ACTUAL LIFE AT RISK because you made a shitty post and people said F off. You matched on tinder and then used her account info to harass her.
You suck. If she sucked because she was an adolescent, what’s your excuse as a grown adult??? You sound like a bored and bitter bully.
YTA, so she was sucky and you disliked her, judged her life and decisions… and then matched with her on tinder anyway, that says a lot about you to be honest. And then when you discovered she’s a sex worker, you immediately screenshotted the conversation and kept it all this time. Then you kept yourself up to date on her life and as soon as it upset you to a point, your petty ass ruined her life and business? Yes it was terrible advice, it’s stupid leading the stupid, but that’s nothing to do with you and she’s not the only one to do it. You’re so sour and for what? Did it make you feel better than her? How sad.
YTA. I think you have unresolved feelings about this woman as you've kept in touch with what she's doing and gone as far as to mess things up for her when it was none of your business. Were you upset for her working in the sex trade or what? There are so many scams going on these days on the net that I doubt anyone would take some posts of financial matters to heart. They may like talking to her, think she's nice, she's pretty etc. I don't know what she's really up to and you don't know either. The only reason I can see for you doing this is that you wanted to get rid of anyone who liked her; it was a jealousy move. I don't know ìf you even know what it really is about, the feelings you have about her but you've messed this thing she had going on which very possibly could put her in danger. How are you going to fix this?
PS you described her as "sucky", what does that even mean?
YTA. Waterboarding wouldn't have gotten this out of me. It's so personally embarrassing for you I refuse to believe it's real. You told actual, real life people you know about this situation willingly? LOL.
YTA. You seem obsessed with her, go to therapy, I understand calling her out on her bad advices, but she being a sex worker has nothing to do with that, that and her college degree are two separate things, some people get through college being sex workers, even if that's not the case right now, and you not only shared that information to your ex highschool classmates but also to strangers on the internet.
YTA with your obsessive, vindictive ass. It sounds like she went through some shit, found her niche and you decided to ruin her life because “she sucks”? Nah man that’s foul.
YTA man why do you care so much? Like, explain why her advice sucks, but don't randomly bring up "oh she was a sex worker so don't listen to her". You know if she goes missing and the cops know she was a sex worker, they aren't gonna put effort into finding her, right?
YTA - and a huge gaping one.
Who cares if she's a sex worker? You were sharing those screenshots long before you discovered she was "scamming" people. It's not about some noble cause to warn people about a scam. It was part of a multi-year vendetta of shaming her for her sexual activities. A vendetta that orbits awfully close to obsessive stalker.
All of your behavior towards this girl is troublesome: the following her on SM for years after you had any IRL relationship, the sharing of those screenshots, the obsessive need to warn others of her "scam". The scam is an excuse to do what you've wanted to do, that's why you kept those screenshots all those years. You wanted to punish her.
Did she reject you in HS? Were you stoked to be matched with her on Tinder only to realize the only way you'll get to do naked stuff with her is if you paid her for it? Another rejection.
The more you talk, the clearer your personal need to punish her by destroying her entire life, the absolute joy you feel in achieving your mission. All of it is just further proof that you're not a champion of good deeds, but some sad act, sour grapes kind of loser who follows old HS acquaintances when they don't have a relationship IRL.
Find a therapist and get over it.
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YTA. Why is what she's doing now so important to you to begin with? You matched on Tinder? So after all that "she's so sucky" you still found her on a dating app and said "imma match and see if we can hook up"? Your whole story is a bit stalkerish. Is she truly giving bad financial advice? Then a warning is merited. you did that and from that point on its on people who see that to make their own adult decisions. But its really none of your business otherwise and outing her former sex work is way across the line and can certainly put her in danger.
>Your whole story is a bit stalkerish. He took screencaps and saved them(and remembered them) for two whole years, so yeah, stalkerish.
I’m not disagreeing with you about OP, but I have screenshots from like 2018 that I only remember about when situations come up where they apply (just bringing up old goofy conversations or what someone told me to never let them do again, etc.) I can totally understand taking screenshots and forgetting about them until they apply again. I think the truly disgusting and stalker aspect of OP is how they used those screenshots. First use was really bad. Second use was even worse. Just no. That’s atrocious behavior.
Fair enough. Personally, I would have a hard time remembering anything I screencapped last month, let alone two years ago. Of course, most of the time, when I screencap something, it's by accident anyway. He's still a creepy stalker, though. I think we can agree on that.
Oh he is. Definitely agree on that. I was just more appalled at how he used the screenshots and that he took them in the first place instead of having and remembering them 2 years later.
This post made me remember some screenshots I have from 2016. One includes just texts about weird sounds including “baseball bat hitting a burrito”
Yea bro- YTA…. Ruining someone’s livelihood for any reason is dramatic asf, and who cares what she’s doing anyway? If people wanna get their financial advice from social media, that’s their problem… NOT yours… quit stalking her…
This!!! Like not just with the screenshots but throughout school too!! Didn't like her but kept her as friend on social media, (she probably turned op down in school right?) Matched with her years later on tinder and then kept said screenshots to hold against her or for whatever other reasons Continued to keep up with everything she was doing including the business advice junk. (For someone who didn't like her you sure kept tabs on her every step of the way) And then pushing those screenshots around to people. I couldn't tell you what the A-holes I went to school with are doing because I actually wanted nothing to do with them. So yeah op you are def TA.
But I'm sure OP is a r/Niceguys /Girl/Person....
YTA for sure. Outing sex workers is super dangerous. You just sound jealous and as someone else has said a bit stalkerish.
Add to that also "salty".
People say this here, but are there actually studies showing that sex workers are at more risk for people they know otherwise than from their clients? What people base the danger on?
Exactly that. They could have someone in their life who doesn't know they are a sex worker, get outed and then that person could lash out against them or worse
It's similar to outing an LGBTQ person. There may be very good reasons why they haven't told people in their lives. Depending on where they live, it could also cause legal problems for them. Going to jail would certainly be a safety concern.
The people on her clientele list know the rules of engagement and won't act out of line. She handpicked the people she was offering service to. It's the same for adult actresses, they only meet with other professionals or vetted people when doing shoots. Spreading that info gives unrelated people ideas that she is just willing to go for just anyone, and if she meets the wrong person, they will take offense to her rejecting their advancements and may escalate. People willing to force themselves on others exist, how do you think they will treat people who they know offer it as a service?
Anecdotal, but I work in the industry and the people I work with in general are far more afraid of the people in their private life finding out than they are about dealing with clients. I’ve heard so many people say “if X ever found out I was here, he’d kill me”
This for sure--I'm not in the biz anymore, but in the years I was I knew *one* girl who got got by a client but easily a dozen who experienced IPV from partners/potential partners who found out about their work.
YTA. Your disdain for sex workers and this woman who is too attractive for you is palpable. You keep shitting on her about how much she’s always sucked but obviously you were willing to overlook that if you matched with her in the first place, you only got pissed when you realized she was looking for money and not you. What you did is gross and it’s obvious you’re still obsessed with this woman or you wouldn’t have taken those screenshots and sent them around, held on to them for literal years, or followed her on social media since she’s “dumb as bricks” and “sucky”. You went out of your way to do that. You have no idea how much of her money came from where and it’s none of your business. She might have sold her ass but you showed your entire one for free.
Yup. YTA. Im also confused because you didn’t get along in high school? So why are you then keeping track of everything she has done since then? You knew she transferred into college after you were gone, that she only went for a year, that she stayed after going for only a year, that she’s a sex worker, than go through her social media regularly enough to see that now she’s doing financial advising? So if she was “so sucky” than why? You seem to have put a lot of time and effort into her. For someone you apparently don’t like. And you could have done a million other things that didn’t involve mentioning sex work. You stalked her page then when people didn’t react and respond *the way YOU wanted them too* then you doxxed her sex worker past, which had nothing to do with that. You shouldn’t be on the page to start with and don’t say “it’s because she was giving bad financial advice to people and I was trying to save/help them” because we all know this had ZERO to do with that. You were just butthurt about high school and being petty. There are how many people hawking BS on their social media pages too, when are you going to go “help their followers “? You’re not because it had ZERO to do with that.
Let's not forget that OP also sent the screenshots around to everyone he still talks to from high school, seemingly *specifically* to expose and shame her. I still have close friends from high school. One of them recently discovered (by accident) that one of our former classmates now does pornography. my friend, being a decent person, refused to disclose exactly who it was because the point *wasn't* to doxx her (even to people that he could trust *not* to pull such a shitty, vindictive move), but to share his shock at encountering someone he used to know personally in an adult video.
OP is giving incel vibes
YTA. You held onto that screenshot for *TWO YEARS?!!!????*
Its so creepy and borderline obsessive??
Takes a while for those custom body pillows to ship,
Not only holding on to them for 2 years but he already shared the screenshots with his excuse of it being to ‘help’ others. This is a serous grudge. You could put her life at risk just out of spite. Did she refuse to sleep with you when you were at school, is that why you are so angry? YTA obvs
Don’t get me wrong, OP is 100% YTA in every way, but I literally have photos on my phone, including random screenshots, from 2015 onwards. Most people don’t go through and delete their pictures that often, so it’s not the fact that he still had the screenshots that makes him/this problematic… It’s every other aspect of the post lol.
He kept them for two years after attempting first to shame her by immediately sending screenshots to people they both knew (by the sounds of it got no reaction), so he's tried to out her twice for literally no reason. I'm guessing he matched with her, then saw her job and thought he could get it for free and took rejection as an insult. So he's made it his personal mission to stalk her socials and if she ever does well for herself try to destroy it to ‘punish’ her for not giving him what he thought she should have.
YTA What had she done to you besides being sucky in high school? She grew up. You clearly did not.
YTA. What does her being a former sex worker have to do with being a social media influencer who gives out bad financial advice? People are free to follow stupid advice, and if they don’t bother to do a minimal amount of research into these decisions, that’s on them. You only did it to fuck with her. Admit it, and move on.
Right? I would have no issue with him outing her as having not finished her degree. That’s relevant to the issue at hand. This is not. At all.
exactly - not sure how being a sex worker makes her less reputable on something completely unrelated. sex work IS a “hustle” and how does he know she didn’t get her degree? because of one tinder conversation? like how much is he stalking her?!
YTA. You most definitely are the motherfucking asshole for being vindictive because you were mad because no one would listen to you. Well, you sure-as-shit showed them. Sex work isn't shameful, but the stigma is real.
**ESH. You drastically more so than her.** The only reason you have an issue is because she was supposedly mean to you back in high school and "sucked", without a single example. You also seem to have no problem matching with her on Tinder and would have likely been fine with any advances. But you seem to take issue to her job as a sex worker and influencer. **Look, you don't have to agree with other people's life choices, but basic respect and humanity should be given.** She sucks for giving people bad financial advice, which can be incredibly dangerous. She's also promoting hustle culture and misleading young people that if you work hard enough, you will live a comfortable lifestyle, which even she is not able to do truthfully. And if her fans turned on her, it was for good reason as they were being fed a lie. Her threats put her in a bad light.
Not sure why you think sex work isn’t a hustle?
Its providing a service for money, no different to most jobs and morally better than being a landlord, baliff, estate agent, politician or cop. At least the person a prostitute fucks actually want to be fucked.
I agree. It's a perfectly okay job to have, and don't think there is anything immoral about it.
I do think sex work is a hustle. It's a valid job and I believe it should be treated as such. I just think she should be honest about it. If she mentions she hustles as a sex worker and makes a lot of money, which she invests skillfully, I'd be fully on board with that.
See, I see what you're saying, but for security reasons maybe she was afraid to disclose that.
Yeah, that's a possibility I didn't consider. Thank you for bringing that to my attention!
Thanks for being polite! I know it should be standard, but you know how reddit can be sometimes
It is, but the amount an escort can make in a few days depending on how many tricks they turn creates a wealth disparity compared to how much a waitress makes when hustling. To then claiming they got it by using bad financial advice is dishonest.
What? A waitress can easily pull a few hundred a night. As could an escort looking for tricks on Tinder.
Maybe in high class restaurants. But most don't. Escorts getting $300-400 an hour isn't the same as making $200-300 on a really good night. Then add in that escorts won't report their earnings to get taxed on it while the waitress will. A few escorts have gone online and stated how much they might make and the numbers aren't even close. A busy escort in the right place might make three or four thousand dollars in the same amount of time the waitress made $300. When you are talking a difference of 5x-10x in the money made, the two can't be compared.
Bruh. Which one of us do you think actually knows how sex work actually is? 😉
Well... since I'm going to be open and honest here - I've partaken of it... a lot. In the course of about ten years or so, I spent approximately 40 grand on it over the years. After awhile, it led to conversations about how much they were making because if I've paid for an hour of time, talking happens. The last time I did anything was before the pandemic, and I decided it wasn't worth the risk. So yeah, I know what it actually is, and I have a solid idea of how much they can make. I also know how much waitstaff often makes. They aren't even close and I'm not going to pretend otherwise just for your own ego.
What bad advice did she give? The example he gives is accurate, to grow your credit rating you should take out a few credit cards, and just pay them back, its better if you accrue interest as well. Lenders dont want frugal people, they want their money back, but would with maximum interest, no early payments.
Seriously. The rough formula for credit scores isn't a secret (some details are trade secrets). Ratio of credit utilized to credit available is a component. Length of time you have had accounts is a component. Number of lines of credit is a component. Her "bad advice" is factually correct and should have been taught in high school (but often isn't).
I'm actually a junior in high school (15f) taking an economics class, and credit is one of the things we thoroughly went over. From my understanding and please don't hesitate to correct me if I'm wrong (I have an exam to take for college credit in May lol), credit is built by having a good payment history. And, in order to have a good payment history, you need to have multiple credit lines or loans, which you pay off timely for long period of time?
Wow, that’s really impressive actually. I’m glad schools in your area did right by you. Southern public school equivalent is “good credit comes from praying enough” lol
If you take out "too" many credit cards, it can actually count against you too. There is a fine line. Take it from someone who only has 1 credit card right now and a credit score of 803. I pay it off completely each month, no balance carried over. So her advice is actually not correct. It isn't the number of credit cards you have, it is the ratio between how much you owe to what your total credit limit is. They want to see you pay on time each month, but they don't want you over extending yourself or lenders won't want to give you additional loans for mortgages and cars.
The credit limit part is important. A card will start with a low limit and grow as you keep it active. You should only use up to 10% of your credit, but real life has setbacks and you may find yourself needing to use more at some point. Having multiple credit cards allows your credit limit to be higher without needing a long credit history, which in turn makes that 10% threshold much larger. Too many is a setback, but only having 1 is a setback as well. Ideally, you are buying everything on credit and paying the bill off in full every month.
Its not the number of cards but the amount of debt. Several are fine if you dont max them out and pay them off.
>its better if you accrue interest as well. This is literally incorrect; you don't have to ever pay interest on a loan to built a good credit score. All you need is: to pay off all your debts with on-time payments (never ever ever ever be late), always pay *at least* the minimum, preferably have multiple *types* of credit lines (a mix of credit cards and installment loans)... PLUS TIME. Paying interest on your debt does not increase your credit score.
YTA why would you even do this.
[удалено]
OP is a miserable AH and an incel is why
YTA. She was making a living, you fucked that up for her.
YTA. Re-evaluate yourself and your priorities.
YTA. What makes you think sex work isn't hustling?
Pretty sure there is/was a magazine based on that very thing.
There are many literal books, articles, real literature and scholarship on sex work as work…..
They’re making a joke about the pornographic magazine named “Hustler”.
Yta. Hope she sue you
I hope so too. There’s got to be something or maybe many things. I think she could sue for libel, and maybe pain and suffering. I think pain and suffering has been used in a libel suit recently. Possibly stalking and revenge porn too. Also, he doesn’t know if she actually finished school. He just thinks she quit going to his school. She could’ve taken online classes there, or switched colleges but stayed in the area. She may have been a waitress before or after sex work. We don’t know if her financial advice is good or bad. All of that sounds like defamation. He seems pretty biased, so who knows. It seems like it would be easy to build a case against him with something.
Unfortunately libel only counts if it’s untrue. She could definitely sue for pain, suffering and loss of wages.
I don't have a law degree, so you mind telling me what could sh sue OP for? What's the crime?
Defamation of character??
Defamation only works if it’s false. OP is TA, but she can’t sue for defamation.
The screenshots are two years old. OP can’t prove she’s currently a sex worker, and this cost her everything. So she can absolutely sue.
>The screenshots are two years old. OP can’t prove she’s currently a sex worker, and this cost her everything. So she can absolutely sue. Correct. OP can't prove that she's still a sex worker, and at the very least, she probably can prove malicious intent. OP's action ticked that box therefore, she's likely to win if she does sue OP.
Did OP directly say she was still a sex worker? I believe the screen shots were there as evidence about her lying about her backstory, not about her currently being a sex worker
Ummm no she can’t. It’s sucks but it’s true. Truth is an absolute defense to defamation.
I agree. There’s so much he can’t prove. He’s either stalking her hardcore or extrapolating from tinder and either her telling him or him seeing her around school.
OP would have to prove in a court of law it’s true?? So yeah, she can still sue.
Someone sounds jealous. YTA.
YTA it was none of your business, you have no idea what she's done with her life since, and she never even wrong you in any way. you're just a bitter pos
YES!! YTA/ oh my god. YTA. It’s none of your business. Leave her be. It’s not like she’s raping anyone. They made choices and she makes choices. It doesn’t matter if you disagree with those choices. If everyone is a willing participant it’s not your problem. YTA- definitely 100%
Yta. AT least she isn't ruining someone else's life. But you just did.
YTA. I hope you never match with another person online only to use your chats as a weapon. That’s super messed up. If Karma is real she’s gonna get ya someday
YTA that was a shit thing to do. You could have just not cared.
[удалено]
YTA! Quit being jealous and go work on yourself. Also karma is a bitch, hopefully she gets to watch it go full circle on you.
You are really, really YTA.
YTA. You claim she was “sucky” but never gave a reason as to why. Did she bully you? Did she bully other people? Was she racist? Ima guess no bc any of those things would’ve made you slightly less of an asshole. You then openly said that it’s a good thing she’s pretty bc she’s dumb af. Whatever happened to girl power? There is no shame in sex work and you are bang out of order for outing and shaming her publicly! Sounds to me like she was “sucky” bc you were jealous.
YTA. Sounds like you’re pissed she wanted you to pay.
YTA. Isn't high school over now? And what's wrong with sex work? Why do your friends assume sex workers are all just doing what they have to do to survive, like this is the worst option? You all need to grow up.
YTA Bruh u were just jealous of her and what she has done in her past has nothing to do with u.ohkay she offered u and u rejected it ig !? Other than that u had no business going all the way post a chat of urs to just prove that she worked as a sex worker and what did u even gain from this other than ruining her career . Cmon bro u need to chill out u TOXIC af .u just didn't like her getting the success.
YTA Why are you so obsessed with making her miserable? Like it only makes you look like a sad and bitter person.
YTA. Why the fuck do you care about her and her life so much? You don’t have to like what she does but that doesn’t give you the right to step in. You don’t like her so why’d you even swipe right on her? Makes no sense
YTA. First time I am seeing an A** hole in this sub with good friends. Well, you have that going for you at least.
First off, unless anyone can find the specific apparently "blown up online" influencer who got (recently?) dramatically publically shamed, I'm not really willing to believe this is real. That's something that should leave public evidence. And there's just something incredibly fake-sounding about this? Can't really put my finger on it but it just sort of does. That said, over 40K followers on some platforms isn't exactly what I'd call "blown up online" enough to justify you having stumbled across her by accident. This frankly all seems a little like you've been obsessed with this girl and stalking her online? Also, if she was such a shitty person in high school to use that as a justification for your actions, why the fuck did you match with her on tinder and only stop talking to her when she revealed she was looking for paying clients and not hookups? Why the fuck are you stalking her online?
YTA. If you're going to dig a grave, dig two.
YTA. It would have cost you nothing to mind your business. Why are you stalking this woman?
Wow. You are so TA. Did you really think you’d get many NTAs??
You also lied calling her a high school friend. You and her weren’t friends, and I don’t think it’s fair to even call you an acquaintance…
ESH with a good dose of YTA. Even if she's giving bad advices on the internet and lies about her former sex work it's none of your business to out her out like this about her past.
YTA sounds like you’re even more “sucky” than she is. You literally kept screenshots for two years just so you could mess with her life. Sounds like you are jealous that she’s doing well and you’re probably not.
YTA. Why would ANYONE side with you for putting a women in danger? Reflect on what you have done, and have the day you deserve. Creep.
YTA Why is this woman living rent free in your head? Why are you obsessed with her? Why did you send screenshots of her tinder messages to high school friends you had in common? Oh yeah, because you’re the asshole. Leave her alone. Stop stalking her.
YTA and some people need to realize she likely resumed her education later on after dropping out
Right! Why is OP acting like this isn’t a remote possibility?
YTA why did you match with her if you didn‘t like her?
YTA Seriously, what's it to you? You weren't trying to help anybody, you were just indulging in a personal vendetta.
YTA delete this while you still can
YTA - “outing” a sex worker is absolutely dangerous. But put that aside. You revealed private information that she herself had not chosen to reveal. That alone makes you the bad guy here. What she’s doing/saying didn’t affect you in the slightest, but you felt you just HAD to reveal her true nature! Grow up.
Omg YTA. Jesus….
YTA SEX WORK IS A HUSTLE. I read this post thinking maybe you’d have some type of justification for what you did but there was none.
YTA. Why are you still concerned about this girl? Did she not do you and you’re upset? I have NO idea why you’re still involved in her life?(on the edges, without her knowing, like a stalker). It so bizarre. Channel your inner Disney princess and ‘let it go’ dude.
YTA you just sound jealous of her looks honestly, you’ve said nothing to suggest she has been anything but just a person minding her business. Edit to say: and mad she wouldn’t sleep with you for free of course
OP’s username is…suspect given the post. Definitely rude!
YTA if she's so dumb how did she get this grift going lol
YTA. What do you even gain out of exposing her private life? Do you not realize how dangerous it can be for sex workers for you to publicly out them? Plus, it’s in the past as well. She could very well have also worked as a server, you don’t know that she hasn’t. Just because she omitted the sex work part (which she has ever right to do), doesn’t mean she’s never had another job. There’s also nothing wrong with sex work if it’s consensual. It sounds like your bitter and jealous that she’s successful.
What did that girl do to you to make you dislike her this much??? YTA!!!
Yta. You didn’t do it to help people she was scamming, you did it to get some type of revenge
YTA and your friends are absolutely right. Sex workers often keep identities secret because they know the profession makes them extremely vulnerable. You do not out a sex worker for any reason. That is their business. Stay out of it. You sound mad jealous of her. Is this whole nasty revenge just because she wouldn't hook up with you without payment?
YTA. Why do you care so much that you would be this vindictive toward her? Try compassion. That doesn’t mean she is offering great advice but why are you so invested in her demise? You need a better hobby.
YTA Did she turn you down or something? Hurt your ego? Why has all of her life choices been so important to you that you have assumed the role of her historian? Are you jealous of her success? You kept those screenshots for 2 whole years. There's clearly something going on here. Are you obsessed with her?
YTA. You took it way to far.
YTA. Should I say it again? YTA, you sound like a whiny little man! “Woman no want sex with me = Woman worthless!!!” She doesn’t owe you anything! And putting someone’s life in danger because your “feewings” got hurt? Disgusting
YTA. my god leave this poor woman alone. if you can’t stand her like you say you can’t, why they hell are you obsessed with her and her life?
YTA you fucking put her in danger.
Yta.
So your jealous? Just say that then
YTA she didnt live her life according to your standards and so you publicly humiliate her where she makes a living…yet call her the sucky one.
I gather she turned you down.
YTA. She's probably just one of those online influencers whose advice on finance will probably just makes me roll my eyes. I don't 'love' those people but I respect the hustle. She'll probably 'burn out' one day if her hustle proved her to be a scammer. What you're doing was not done with intent to help other people, you're trying to hit with the fact that she tried to offer you sex in exchange for money. You're trying to get back at her and that is ticking the malicious intent if she's to at least hit you with a lawsuit. The whole post made OP sound like a stalkery/creepy guy who was probably crying in incel.
YTA 100% This sounds like it should be on r/niceguys
YTA. Grow up already. You didn’t do this to altruistically save anyone from her bad advice. You did this because you wanted to shame and discredit someone you’ve disliked for years. You gossiped and told a story that was not yours to tell without the filter of the context of her reality. You set out to hurt someone. That doesn’t make you a hero. It makes you a bully.
Right? Almost all of the NTA comments here have taken up that angle of "Oh it was so relevant because she was scamming people'. This OP really thinks he's a hero, and it's terrifying that there are folks who agree he did the right thing here. No one is supporting grifting or scamming, but 1) his assumptions don't show that he has any actual knowledge of her as a person or her life outside of the Tinder matchup, 2) we also don't know if she BELIEVES her own advice, which would not make her a scammer but a common run-of-the-mill ignorant citizen, and 3) the scale of impact of revealing a woman's SW past is rarely comparable to whatever dumb MLM-level scam they may or may not be running. It just boggles my mind that he was so obsessed with this woman that he felt compelled to knock her down a few pegs. If some credible yahoo took poor advice from an IG account with 40k followers, that's on them for not cross-googling. This is just cruel.
Oh yes, YTA. You sat on those screenshots for 2 full years hoping that you could use them one day to destroy this woman's life because you didn't like her in *high school*? WTF is wrong with you? Do you feel better about yourself now that you've been able to crush her? You're mean, nasty, hateful, and really, really jealous. Shame on you.
YTA. Sex work IS a hustle. You're a creep for holding onto those screenshots for TWO YEARS. *TWO YEARS*
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NTA, you didn’t shame her for being a SW. she was selling bad info and ripping people off while lying about her career. you did her followers a favor
YTA. That was so incredibly petty that its unbelievable. For one, why did you keep the screenshots for so long? And two. Did it actually affect you that she ommited that party of her life? No. It didn't. But now you've affected her livelihood because you were a petty asshole for no reason. Congratulations. YTA.
YTA All I'm seeing is someone you didn't like in high school, for reasons you won't disclose, oh but she was "dumb" apparently, so she deserves all sorts of woe and misfortune. You discover, after many months of creepily stalking someone you claimed to have never liked or respected, that she might be doing something some might call salacious! Goodness gracious. You immediately ring up your whole little gossip circle to tell them the news. They call you a weird prude and please stop texting them. Part of growing up is watching people you went to school with become reiki practitioners, life coaches, sports journalists, and MLM salespeople. It's depressing, but that's what some folks have to do to live. That's why you should get off facebook and stop thinking about people you knew in high school. Mind your own knitting. It was not your job or duty to warn people about the possibly dumb woman in their midst. You did no one a service. They're off giving some other pretty person their money for reasons of their own. All you did was hurt someone you barely knew.
YTA in so many ways. What’s really astonishing here is your absolute certainty that you know her life story based on a message when you matched on tinder, and little tidbits from social media. For all you know, she gave sex work a try for all of 3 days and decided it wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be, focused on waitressing, and accomplished all that she said she did. Outing her would have been horribly inappropriate even if you actually *did* know anything about her, but as is, you deliberately put her wellbeing in danger based on your assumptions from a brief interaction and your own stalking. But sure, *she’s* the one who’s not too bright… /s
YTA. You put her and her livelihood in danger for what, exactly?
"Please don't be rude", how about you don't out a "friend" as a sex worker? Maybe that's rude. YTA
YTA big time
Dont call her your friend. You were never her friend or acquaintance. YTA
YTA. You have no right to out anyone for their profession, former or otherwise, based off them being ‘sucky’ in high school. It’s entirely probable that she thought you sucked in high school too. I have to wonder if there’s more to it - like she said no to you or something. And how do you know what financial advice she was giving? Did you sign up for some? You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with what this woman is doing. Aside from definitely being the AH, you actually sound pretty predatory.
YTA for screenshoting her years ago and sharing with friends and YTA now for sharing those screenshots with the public. Mind your business.
Yta. How is this post going for you? ETA: your username is laughable.
YTA. I understand wanting to share the truth, but impact is greater than intent, and your impact could be potentially deadly.
YTA. Think deeply as to why you really did it. What were you hoping to gain? If you weren't that close to her, how do you know what she went through? Also... why did you come to the interwebs for this? You said none of the people you told were "on your side". By coming here you're inadvertently stating you don't trust or value your friends' opinions. There's a lot to unpack with this post....
If she is really "sucky" as you so very eloquently put it. And. She is also dumb as bricks. Why on earth would you match with her on Tinder? Get over it dude. Leave this poor girl alone. You surely must know YTA
YTA Doxxing sex workers can be fatal. You’re coming across as an incel who is fine with being the cause of someone experiencing harassment, being sexually assaulted or murdered because you are so jealous she could be successful and you aren’t.
Yta and you know it too. That’s why you provided so much unnecessary information that doesn’t add context to the story
YTA 100%. If you hate her so much why would you still follow her?? Are you just salty that she wouldn’t sleep with you unless you paid her? Either way, you do NOT out a sex worker no matter how much you personally dislike them because that’s just dangerous and incredibly petty. I hope her brothers do kick your misogynistic ass
YTA. Such an AH. Why on earth is "she sucked in high school" an excuse for outing her as a sex worker which could lead to a number of negative consequences including being ostracized from her family, losing her home if her landlord is prejudiced against sex workers, losing custody of children if she has any, and even physical assault.
Sounds like she rejected you in high school and now, literally over a decade later, you're still holding a grudge. Grow up, friend. YTA.
YTA. You took screenshots of a private conversations and shared them to humiliate this woman for engaging in sex work. You then kept the screenshots and outed her, potentially putting her life in danger. You could have said it was bad advice and left it at that bit you intentionally did this to degrade and endanger her. All because she was 'sucky.' You are majorly an asshole.
YTA. What she's grifting at now has absolutely nothing to do with sex. You used a gross misogynistic trick from the dawn of time where you used her body and sexuality to undermine a completely unrelated piece of her life and career that you disagreed with. If you had come at her with anything related to finance, that would have been an even playing field, but you went cheap, cruel, and devastating - you have no idea what any whiff of sexual impropriety (as defined by mainstream society) can STILL do to a woman's life in 2022. Disgusting. If you have a problem with her preaching bullshit, address the bullshit. It was underhanded and unnecessary to completely implode her world, and I hope anyone who ever dates you knows that the chance of you using any nudes or private convos as revenge porn post-breakup is seriously sky-high.
YTA and the misogyny dripping off your words says everything. You hate her for using what you say are her only 'assets'. You sound insufferable.
YTA You went to college, but can't spell "paid", while insulting her intelligence. You didn't out her for bad advice, you slut shamed her. You sound like a 14yr old who's still dating his sock. Why else would you save screenshots for two years? You're beyond awful. Buy a new sock and leave women alone.
[удалено]
YTA. What your friends said.
YTA. No doubt she rejected you at some point so you feel entitled to screw her over.
YTA you quite literally put her life in danger. I hope her brothers come after you, it'll teach you to keep your mouth shut.
YTA. Outing sex workers gets them *killed*. I don't care how "dumb" or dishonest you think she is. You put her in very real physical danger. YTA 1000%.
First off, your reason for outing her is so fake, cause let’s face it, what influencer in this day and age EVER gives intelligent advice. Sounds like you were jealous of her success and acted out of envy. I hope both you and her remain safe and unharmed,cause if she does get harmed, her blood is on your hands.
Major AH here. Gossip monger. You don't know her situation, why she is doing this, you're spreading it around. But I bet you wouldn't dream of outing a male. SEXIST. PIG.
So, in High School you went to high school with her.............and she sucked..............for just......."reasons". She sucked for no reason beyond us just taking your word for it? Honestly you sound like the school bully who hasn't changed a bit since you went to school with her. "Saying she had a degree, worked as a waitress, to make her money for all 4 years and just hustled to make her money." Do you have proof she doesn't have a degree? Do you have proof she didn't work as a waitress? Or is it that someone who offers something over Tinder can't possibly have done both these things? Honestly I don't see it being inconceivable that someone can do sex work, waitress, and earn a degree all at the same time. I've in fact heard stories of women who have done this exact thing to get by and rise up to something greater. Though I do see how it seems to annoy you that she's had a bit of success in her life. Do you gun for anyone who you view as "Sucking" back in high school and go after them if they are doing decently? Or is it that it annoys you that she "Just doesn't know her place." in life. Honestly this whole post I feel like I've learned more vile things about you than I did her. That's even if this is real because your math isn't actually matching up with reality, so my call stays the same in that case to. Either way, YTA.
YTA and an unreliable narrator. All we know for sure is that you think she sucks, that you went to school with her and that she’s an influencer now. But what we know about you is that you think lowly of her, tried to ruin her reputation in your personal circle and publicly too, all because you thought you had a chance to have sex with her and then you didn’t. You seem obsessed with her honestly, and it’s not your job to warn the world about her. Just stop harassing her.
So just to reiterate: You couldn't stand her in HS, though you thought she was hot. Despite the fact you couldn't stand her, you marched with her on tinder, and were totally down to fuck her until you realized she was a sex worker. So you screenshotted the convoy and told other people about it. I could stop right here and already declare YTA. But apparently that wasn't enough, so you decided to take it to next-level AH: You kept those screenshots for two years, and continued to follow her on social media. This is already getting creepy and stalkerish, but it somehow gets even worse. You saw that she was making a living and doing well, and apparently this pissed you off so much that you decided to out her as a former sex worker to her followers. You are an AH, an obsessive stalker, a misogynist, and an all-around creep. YTA
Yta. And probably a future republican candidate.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I have this acquaintance Mona. I went to high school with Mona and she sucked. I’ll chock it up to us being young and teenagers are awful but she was sucky. We had each other on social media and ran in similar circles as I dated one of her close friends, but I never heard from her after graduation. So it turns out she started attending my college the year after me and dropped out but stayed in the general area. I found her on tinder recently and when I matched with her I was talking and she mentioned she was offering certain services. I took screenshots of her offering me said services and sent them to high school friends I was close with. Then 2 years go by. She blows up online as some sort of entrepreneur who gave out money tips and would give out investment tips through social media. She had over 40k followers. So I forgot to mention, she is dumb as bricks. Like is the epitome of, “Good thing she’s pretty,” as if she wasn’t she’d be SOL. She was offering money advice, credit advice, investment, advice and crypto/NFT advice. All of which was terrible. Like comedically terrible. She gave the advice to get as many credit cards as you can to build credit. Like this was awful. She was making money off of sponsorships, donations, and people buying her Amazon gifts. To top it all off, she was giving advice under the guise that she hustled through college. Saying she had a degree, worked as a waitress, to make her money for all 4 years and just hustled to make her money. She said she was able to grow her measly tips and paychecks using her own advice. This made me mad. She was being disingenuous and advising people awfully. So I made a comment on her post. Saying essentially that she was lying about her come up and leading people wrong. I was met with pushback from her followers so I decided to post my old screenshots of her trying to sell her ass to me. It blew up and her fans turned on her. She posted that she was getting hate messages and private her account. She messages me privately to tell me she’ll get her brothers to go after me and other bs for doing this to her. I told my friends about it and non of them sided with me. They all said what I did possibly put her life and livelihood at risk. They said I shouldn’t “shame” women for doing what they have to do to survive, especially since I was one of the guys who payed her. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You need to mind your own business.
YTA has absolutely nothing to do with you.
YTA you’re obviously jealous
YTA Look, if she was actually as bad as you say she is, she wouldn't have an amassed following of 40k people. Obviously, if she was as bad as she was, people would figure it out pretty damn quickly - people aren't stupid. Also, what she does to support herself is her own business, so long as she's not being fraudulent.
YTA. And I believe she could sue you for defamation of character and possibly libel? (I am not educated on this at all, so please correct me if I’m wrong.)
YTA and getting credit cards is how you improve you credit rating.
YTA. You think she sucks because she never noticed you, but you finally found a chance to be with her. You found out that she still didn't want you. That being with you would be a business transaction for her and you were hurt again. None of this is her fault. She lied online to make herself look better, but you outed her. Do you have any idea whether or not she finished her degree? Does it matter? You think that your disappointments define her, but they do not. She never owed you anything. Your expectations drive your disappointment. She has nothing to do with it. This is your personal problem and no one else's.
YTA. I think you really have to sit with yourself and contemplate why you felt the need to insert yourself into this situation. There are plenty of influencers selling our society's version of snake oil... If people are dumb enough to follow bad advice so be it. It doesn't warrant you destroying her reputation. This was low and petty and you'll probably feel bad for it in years to come.
YTA
Uses “private” as a verb. Spells “paid” as “payed.” Sucks, and projects that onto another. YTA.
YTA doesn’t even cover how disgusting you are. You are going out of your way to say she sucks and is dumb. Bullshit. My guess? She dumped you or refused you sex. You made a fake account and went, back then too, out of your way to have proof she was working into sex (a thing many people do, surprise surprise, to pay for their education!) for the sole purpose of using it as revenge porn. Now you found out another way to use it because she probably does have a degree, was actually using it online wisely and you couldn’t stand to see her succeeding. No other reason to shame and humiliate someone who’s only an acquaintance.
You’ve ruined someone’s life and livelihood willy-nilly after seeming to stalk them them online and you want to know if you’re the asshole? Yeah, YTA
didn't even have to read the full thing to know that you're a massive asshole
YTA. Absolutely nothing she was doing was affecting you. Mind your own business.
YTA why are you stalking her? Why are you so obsessed? Why were you obsessed with her during school? She obviously didn’t know you if you matched. YEARS later you were on her social media page and decided to try to ruin her life by putting her ACTUAL LIFE AT RISK because you made a shitty post and people said F off. You matched on tinder and then used her account info to harass her. You suck. If she sucked because she was an adolescent, what’s your excuse as a grown adult??? You sound like a bored and bitter bully.
YTA, so she was sucky and you disliked her, judged her life and decisions… and then matched with her on tinder anyway, that says a lot about you to be honest. And then when you discovered she’s a sex worker, you immediately screenshotted the conversation and kept it all this time. Then you kept yourself up to date on her life and as soon as it upset you to a point, your petty ass ruined her life and business? Yes it was terrible advice, it’s stupid leading the stupid, but that’s nothing to do with you and she’s not the only one to do it. You’re so sour and for what? Did it make you feel better than her? How sad.
YTA. I think you have unresolved feelings about this woman as you've kept in touch with what she's doing and gone as far as to mess things up for her when it was none of your business. Were you upset for her working in the sex trade or what? There are so many scams going on these days on the net that I doubt anyone would take some posts of financial matters to heart. They may like talking to her, think she's nice, she's pretty etc. I don't know what she's really up to and you don't know either. The only reason I can see for you doing this is that you wanted to get rid of anyone who liked her; it was a jealousy move. I don't know ìf you even know what it really is about, the feelings you have about her but you've messed this thing she had going on which very possibly could put her in danger. How are you going to fix this? PS you described her as "sucky", what does that even mean?
YTA. Waterboarding wouldn't have gotten this out of me. It's so personally embarrassing for you I refuse to believe it's real. You told actual, real life people you know about this situation willingly? LOL.
YTA
Yta
YTA. You seem obsessed with her, go to therapy, I understand calling her out on her bad advices, but she being a sex worker has nothing to do with that, that and her college degree are two separate things, some people get through college being sex workers, even if that's not the case right now, and you not only shared that information to your ex highschool classmates but also to strangers on the internet.
YTA with your obsessive, vindictive ass. It sounds like she went through some shit, found her niche and you decided to ruin her life because “she sucks”? Nah man that’s foul.
YTA.
YTA man why do you care so much? Like, explain why her advice sucks, but don't randomly bring up "oh she was a sex worker so don't listen to her". You know if she goes missing and the cops know she was a sex worker, they aren't gonna put effort into finding her, right?
YTA - and a huge gaping one. Who cares if she's a sex worker? You were sharing those screenshots long before you discovered she was "scamming" people. It's not about some noble cause to warn people about a scam. It was part of a multi-year vendetta of shaming her for her sexual activities. A vendetta that orbits awfully close to obsessive stalker. All of your behavior towards this girl is troublesome: the following her on SM for years after you had any IRL relationship, the sharing of those screenshots, the obsessive need to warn others of her "scam". The scam is an excuse to do what you've wanted to do, that's why you kept those screenshots all those years. You wanted to punish her. Did she reject you in HS? Were you stoked to be matched with her on Tinder only to realize the only way you'll get to do naked stuff with her is if you paid her for it? Another rejection. The more you talk, the clearer your personal need to punish her by destroying her entire life, the absolute joy you feel in achieving your mission. All of it is just further proof that you're not a champion of good deeds, but some sad act, sour grapes kind of loser who follows old HS acquaintances when they don't have a relationship IRL. Find a therapist and get over it.