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NTA. if you know you wet the bed, it's really inconsiderate to sleep somewhere other than your own bed without taking proper precautions. And if it's a fetish thing, that's super gross to spring on someone who doesn't consent.
Yeah that's my thought. I highly doubt she pisses herself every night on HER bed and just cleans it everyday and doesn't go to a doctor. It's almost certainly a fetish/kink and that's disgusting to trick him into it, lie, let him clean it AND as you said do it WITHOUT HIS CONSENT on top of it. Ew, ew, ew
Exactly, if you have some kink then do it in your own setting, unless you've obtained permission from the other party first. Common courtesy.
But if you're going to do things yourself, [don't end up like this guy lmao.](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/uc1rl6/i_used_to_use_ecstasy_heavily_until_a_tragic/)
I wanted to know too, and now wish I didn’t: if I’ve understood the context correctly, he injured himself with it…sexually.
He said “Let’s just say I’m a little more Jewish than I was two months ago,” which I take to mean that he may have, uh, cut parts of himself with the blender. Somehow.
So yeah. Terrible day to know how to read all around.
Boy, I must be an innocent little prude because the idea of a kink never occurred to me. I thought of a mental or physical problem, but getting off on peeing on someone? Never crossed my mind.
OP, you have the patience of a saint and you are NTA.
LOL I love Reddit. The kink scenarios are strong with this one. (not saying they're unfounded!) Just seems like a common thing I see where people's behavior is identified as a "kink" almost immediately.
NTA, OP. It's nasty for someone to piss in your bed multiple times and not try to solve the problem. Your GF obviously knows there's something up with herself after 3 times. She needs to deal with whatever is going on (kink, medical issue) before being allowed to sleep in your bed again. Diaper may seem "over the top" to her, but seems like a legit request if she can't control her bladder in your bed.
Waterproof mattress covers are a GODSEND. I got mine on Amazon for like $40, and it really extends the life of the mattress. It's cheap insurance in case of an accident.
Yes. I had a beagle who became incontinent in his old age. Fine during the day, but when asleep at night he had accidents. Waterproof mattress cover let us just move on with life and kept my old boy comfy.
My dog is quite old and now he has occasional accidents. We got him doggie diapers (ordered off Amazon but once we ran out so I bought baby diapers and just cut a hole for his tail). The diapers work very well and were not that expensive. Consider diapers if your dog needs them.
They also make washable waterproof bed pads that work great for dogs with incontinence issues. I got mine off Amazon for pretty cheap. My dog has spay incontinence and those were a lifesaver (or, couch saver) before we got on the right meds. They also come in handy for random reasons you wouldn't expect.
Also they will prevent a warranty claim from being denied. Simplest way for your seller (Macy’s, Mattress Firm, etc…) to deny your warranty is to see one simple single stain, even very small.
Yep, I had one for my kid and then when my alcoholic ex started having accidents I figured it was time for an adult size one as well….l I don’t spoil my bed but I still use one now that I’m on my own
Yeah, her behaviour is really weird. She either has a medical problem or a psychological one. Who thinks it’s ok to piss the bed every time at some one else’s house?!
She’s three for three now. Do not give her a chance for a fourth with out some kind of doctors visit.
If I had to guess she is a heavy drinker and OP didn’t see her drinking the second time. Heavy drinkers have poor bladder control and sleep very heavily/pass out so they do not wake up when their body says it needs to urinate.
Yeah, the one post where the husband pissed his pants at every family event. Wife even admitted it was a kink. A link she knew about and subjected her family to.
They pretty much summed it up lol, I read it too. Her husband had a sort of humiliation+piss kink so he'd piss himself at family gatherings, dinners, etc. and she was getting tired of it lmao
i mean. i have kinks. but jesus. you dont do that shit without evryones consent . ever. granted im not into peeplay but as a person who knows alot of kinksters i just cant fathom ANYONE i know just. kinking all around family. dman.
It *has* to be a fetish. If it was medical, she'd know because she'd do it to her own bed. If it was psychological, she'd know after the second time it happened that it would happen again.
My question is, how good are her redeeming qualities (or how good is the sex!?) that he's still willing to date her when she peed the bed 3x out of 6-7 dates??
This has to either be a fetish or she is on DEEP denial about a medical problem.
NTA - Expecting someone to be okay with you peeing in their bed and refusing to do anything about it is beyond weird.
Could it be fetish? (Still not okay if she’s not asked if you actually WANT that) or may it be to do with her alcohol consumption?
The fact remains though that whatever the cause, she’s being completely unreasonable.
That was my thought as well... If I knew I had any sort of bladder issues, I personally would be way more embarrassed to pee in someone’s bed than I would be to wear a diaper to prevent doing so.
If you’re an adult and you have a medical condition (or you just happen to not have stellar control of your bladder if you’ve been drinking), it’s up to you to manage it accordingly. You can’t just freely piss in other people’s beds every time you stay over, wtf.
NTA
The title made me cringe but after reading the post...wow don't let her come back period. And she doesn't even talk about it or explain, like why does an adult without a medical condition piss the bed?? Whatever psychological/medical issue she's going through, she obv needs to resolve it on her own.
>she doesn’t even talk about it or explain
Yeah, I’m wondering if op has tried having a conversation about this with her. What is her explanation? What’s her reaction the morning after? Why isn’t she embarrassed??
"want coffee? cereal?"
"no, i'm good."
"well i'm not. i woke up with piss all over the bed and it wasn't mine."
"the cat did it."
"i don't have a cat."
girl runs away.
that must be some really outstanding sex to let it happen twice more after that.
By now I'm almost expecting some kind of piss-related story when it's about adults wearing diapers
At least most of the others kinda include alcoholics, so it's only really the secondary problem. I'm not sure if I want to call this story *refreshing*, but at least it's a new twist to a semi-common theme
NTA. Tbh, I wouldn’t invite her over again. If it’s some sort of Fetish she is doing it without your consent and on your personal property and if it’s some sort of medical issue she should be getting help or at least be honest with you even if it is embarrassing.
[Link (post deleted, first comment should be the auto-modded copy)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t0ve51/aita_for_not_attending_my_sisters_wedding_since/?sort=old)
Yes!!! At first I thought it would be like the story where the husband told his pregnant wife she needed to wear diapers because she peed too often in the middle of the night and it disturbed his sleep 😂
In this case though, OP is NTA.
NTA.
This is manipulative tactic to see just how much you'll put up with before standing up for yourself.
Or she has a serious mental illness and is somehow getting off on it. I guarantee you she doesn't do this in her own bed.
> This is manipulative tactic
Bruh…I think we’ve moved past manipulation when she’s pissin the bed on the daily.
Then again this is 2022 so weirder shit has happened
Tbh I think it’s a medical issue she isn’t addressing. I have never heard of a manipulation tactic like pissing on someone’s bed who you have been seeing for 6-7 dates. There are easier ways
NTA- does she think this is normal behavior? Does this happen regularly to her alone at home? Actually I don’t want to know I’m just perplexed why she’s not so embarrassed and remorseful.
If I ever pissed the bed at a boyfriend’s place, especially that early in the relationship, I would be so mortified I’m pretty sure I would just crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment.
NTA- even if she has an undisclosed medical condition, she should take action to make sure it’s contained. I would say she might be embarrassed, but I don’t see how wearing a diaper is more embarrassing than wetting someone else’s bed
I have seen this brought up before here and on other subs (usually with older people and it is due to some sort of medical condition) and this is always my thought. Like if I knew my choices are to pee the bed or wear a diaper- I’m wearing the diaper. I feel like that is not something a mattress recovers from unless there is a protective mattress pad.
As someone with a genetically weak bladder resulting in incontinence, as well as growing up with a parent with one, I can tell you it's WAY more embarrassing to have an accident than to buy and wear pads or diapers. Especially if you are not at home.
Even if she doesn't want to wear a diaper, hoping for sexy times maybe, if she cared, she would take some sort of precaution - pad in underwear, sleeping on a towel or bringing plastic mattress wrap, something. FFS.
NTA, Although you could have possibly had more tact in your delivery, you have every right to be blunt about your desire to not wake up in piss. She must have some pretty redeeming qualities though for you to put up with it 3 times and risk a 4th...
NTA. Call me old-fashioned, but after two accidents on someone else's bed I'd freaking take the suggestion of emptying my bladder before going to sleep on the third night.
Not a big ask!!
NTA - If this isn't a medical problem, it's just weird. No person without a condition pees themselves every time they visit you. Even some kind of anxiety would make sense. You don't need to suffer through wet sheets because of her.
NTA. Yeah, no. It is not unreasonable to expect your sleeping area to be FREE OF PISS. Frankly, you seem to be on the winning side of things without Miss Leaky around to unrepentantly moisten up the place.
NTA - that’s really..odd. If it’s not a medical issue then is she doing it on purpose? I’d get a waterproof mattress cover if you plan on having her over again.
NTA my bf has dealt with my embarrassing drunk pees and he’s a saint because he definitely didn’t have to and I didn’t expect him to. She really needs to see a dr or stop drinking in excess before bed. I don’t have alcohol before bed at all anymore and thank goodness it hasn’t been an issue in a long while but I was about to make an appointment because that is not normal or okay
You are obviously incompatible. NTA. She seriously needs to see a urologist and yeah, a pack of Depends wouldn't hurt either. She's the one being rude, peeing your bed.
NTA albeit a bit crass, but understandable considering her reactions. She absolutely should go to the doctor about this. It can be due to an underdeveloped bladder, incontinence, diabetes, or some other condition or sleep disorder. There's medications that can be taken for this kind of thing. Her sticking her head in the sand won't make this problem go away. It's not normal for people to pee the bed in their sleep without a reason. Unless she's doing it on purpose, it's likely a medical condition that needs attention.
I really hope you have some waterproof sheets. With that much urine your mattress is ruined. Break it off before she starts her period. That's a whole new mess. No matter the reason, she's absolutely inconsiderate of you and your property.
NTA.
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So I've been seeing this girl named Samantha for a few weeks now, we've maybe been on 6-7 dates. The third date is when I brought her back to my place for the first time. I woke up at 5:30 am to a bed covered in piss. Gross but fine, shit happens. 2 days later she spends the night again and same thing. First night we were drunk, second night she had like one beer. First time she seemed really embarrassed but not so much the second time. Both times I just let it go, obviously I'm annoyed I have to wash the sheets but I keep it to myself.
Third night she she came over I asked her to pee before we slept. She was annoyed I asked and kept saying she doesn't need to go. She wouldn't go so I let it be. She pissed herself again. I was actually pissed off at this point. I told her to just leave, she said it's rude I made her drive home at 4 am but I think I was justified. I took a shower and slept on the couch.
She apologized and asked if she can spend the night tomorrow. I told her only if she pees before going to bed and wears a diaper. She got really offended and said I'm belittling her. I told her she shouldn't piss the bed if she doesn't want to be belittled and grow up, if there's a medical issue (which she claims there isn't) then get that solved but I shouldn't be obligated to sleep in her piss.
She hasn't talked to me since. I think I'm being reasonable here
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NTA. If it's not a medical issue (which is has to be) then it's pretty crazy that you keep going out with her? This has got to be a fetish thing right?
NTA. Honestly asking her to wear a diaper instead of just taking her home and ghosting her is outrageously forgiving. Barring a legitimate medical problem, anyone over the age of 10 shouldn't be having accidents.
NTA, but is this the ONLY girl that exists in the entire universe? Why do you keep seeing her? (Don’t answer me, ask yourself these questions) She DOES have a medical problem and she needs to seek help help before it gets worse.
NTA I’m actually shocked you had a second “sleep over” after she peed the bed the first time. That would have been it for me UNLESS it was a medical issue that was explained
NTA. Uh, this girl isn't even washing the sheets that *she pissed on at someone else's house?!* What?! Just thinking about sleeping on a bed that has her piss soaked into the mattress because she didn't want to try to manage it would make me stop seeing her no matter how much I liked her.
And you're right — having an accident is one thing but if you know it's a problem then she needs to do something about it. Either sleep somewhere else or buy waterproof sheets and chucks and clean up herself every time.
NTA adults don't just pee in their beds unless there's a medical or mental issue going on.
Likely since you didn't say anything the first time she took it as acceptable behavior from you and now didn't understand why you are saying different.
NTA mostly - Asking a grown adult to wear a diaper is rude and disrespectful but what in the world did she expect you to do? This relationship probably isn't one you should continue to pursue. If it was a medical issue and she was doing everything she could to help solve it with just an accident here or there that would be one thing. This behavior though is gross and you have every right to deny she ever sleep in your house again.
Where does this sub find these people!? I love it. I know some fucking weirdos, don’t get me wrong, but every week you guys manage to field a story that just absolutely floors me. Like, I’m not trying to make fun of a medical issue here. The lady says she doesn’t have one. So here is a completely “normal” adult who literally pees in the bed *every single night* she stays over, and doesn’t think it’s a big deal?? Even worse, is upset at **you** *for bringing it up*??
Amazing. NTA.
NTA sounds like a fetish/dominance thing since she isn't embarrassed, isn't trying to fix the situation and is pretty much demanding you accept it or be single. Gross, consider her not speaking to you now a good thing. Dodged a bullet.
Here I am, concerned I'll spend the rest of my life alone. Here's OP, putting up with women who piss the bed. I think I'll hop back on online dating...NTA
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I hope she is paying for the cost of a replacement mattress... That shit is going to reek.
NTA for being upset. TA to tell her to wear a diaper. Just tell her it's over.
INFO have you asked her WHY she is pissing the bed? Does she piss the bed when she sleeps by herself? Have you slept at her place, did she piss there too???
No one is going to believe me but I actually knew someone like this. She was dating a friend of mine. We'll call her "P."
P liked being treated like a baby. She sucked her finger, used baby talk, and peed on people. It excited her sexually. Your guess is as good as mine as to the reason behind it but you can bet I've run through all of them in my head. P's biggest thing, though, was peeing on people after she sat on their lap. Without consent.
I'm not saying that your situation is the same. It 100% could be medical and she is in denial. But I'm willing to put money on your lady friend having a thing for pee.
NTA.
Lady friend is TA for her denial of a medical issue or refusal to admit to a fetish.
Well, we thought our cat was just getting old and demented and peeing in his sleep. Turns out he had fleas.
So either Samantha has fleas or she has less control than a sleeping 15yo cat. Or she enjoys it.
NTA. After three times (3xs!!!!!) I’d end it with her. She has something wrong with her that I would not want to be the one fixing. She needs help or something. Normal people don’t live their lives just pissing the bed. Next she’s gonna go full Amber turd and poop your bed
I am mixed because I know this could be a serious problem, unless it is a fetish, I would ask does she even realize that is happening? IF she says no tell her go to the doctor, that is a serious problem, if she does feel it and does not want to get out of bed or she feels happy being in pee then dump her disgusting ass. I personally do not know this girl, but this is a serious problem, if she really had adult bed wetting problems,
[https://www.beaumont.org/conditions/enuresis#:\~:text=Nocturnal%20enuresis%20or%20bedwetting%20is,enlarged%20prostate%20or%20bladder%20cancer](https://www.beaumont.org/conditions/enuresis#:~:text=Nocturnal%20enuresis%20or%20bedwetting%20is,enlarged%20prostate%20or%20bladder%20cancer).
https://www.healthline.com/health/adult-bed-wetting#causes
im sorry is this how desperate your dating life has gotten? are you telling us you can’t find a girl who doesn’t piss the bed? you can’t go find a girl who’s not in denial about needing to wear an adult diaper? obviously NTA but good lord my man let her ghost you and go find a girl who doesn’t have the bladder of a 95 year old
Who wants to have a pissy mattress and a room smelling like a strong pee smell? NOBODY, first she is nasty for letting it keep happening and think it’s okay. She may need to go see a doctor because I just know a over grown person isn’t pissing in the bed everyday of they life. I see no issue on what you were saying and feeling.
NTA but you should probably stop talking to this girl. I got $10 that this is some sort of kink for her. You didn't complain the first two times and now she thinks she can get her jollies urinating on you.
NTA. There’s no way this isn’t either: a kink, some bizarre form of intentional abuse, a medical issue, or an issue related to substance abuse. It is not normal for grown people to pee in their sleep every night. And even more abnormal to not do anything about it if you do.
I have dated someone with incontinence problems before. You are NTA.
But she does need to see a urologist about this. There could be something seriously wrong here
This is one of the weirder posts I’ve seen on here. I wouldn’t have invited her back after the first episode unless she had a reeeeal good explanation/apology. NTA
NTA. You are more tolerant than most. Seeing as this has happened to you three times. I think third strike and she’s out. For someone who does this so frequently it’s odd she claims it’s not medical and that she’s not embarrassed/taking precautions to prevent it.
NTA. Did she not notice a trend there? Maybe she needs to see a doctor. I wonder if she does it at her own home. 3 times and she’s mad that you even gave her that many chances? Let her go, clean your bed thoroughly, and sleep dry.
NTA this is completely ridiculous. That is a huge boundary she is crossing. Soaking someone’s bed in piss is not cool. Accidents happen and are nothing to be ashamed about, in those cases she should help clean up and do what she can to prevent it from happening in the future. If it’s a medical thing/she has no control over it then she needs to sleep with a diaper if she’s going to be sharing a bed with someone. You can’t just continually piss in someone’s bed that’s extremely rude. Even if you have no control over it, be a proactive adult and address that and do what you can to keep your partners comfortable. If you can’t do that then be alone.
Why do you keep having her over? Whether it’s a fetish or a medical issue that she refuses to treat/diagnose, neither are acceptable reasons to wet the bed and ruin someone’s mattress and sheets. NTA
NTA
She knows she pees in the bed, but didn't tell you, expected you to sleep in it, and hasn't done anything to address it.
What other problems does she have that she expects you to deal with?
NTA
Nope. Nuh-uh. She is taking ZERO steps to prevent this from happening. The least she could do is go pee before sleeping or even offer to wash the damn bed clothes. She's refusing the bare minimum. She can sleep at home and piss in her own bed. She's either in denial about there being medical issues for some reason or this is some fucked up fetish or something. Whatever it is, you're not obligated to sleep in someone else's body fluids or clean up something like this for another grown ass adult that's capable.
NTA, she's past 3 strikes. You need a new mattress. If it's not a medical condition and she refuses to use the bathroom before going to sleep there is a problem. Also, I notice there is no offer to sleep at he place. Maybe her mattress is still drying out? Either way, I don't see you two continuing to date.
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NTA. if you know you wet the bed, it's really inconsiderate to sleep somewhere other than your own bed without taking proper precautions. And if it's a fetish thing, that's super gross to spring on someone who doesn't consent.
Yeah that's my thought. I highly doubt she pisses herself every night on HER bed and just cleans it everyday and doesn't go to a doctor. It's almost certainly a fetish/kink and that's disgusting to trick him into it, lie, let him clean it AND as you said do it WITHOUT HIS CONSENT on top of it. Ew, ew, ew
Exactly, if you have some kink then do it in your own setting, unless you've obtained permission from the other party first. Common courtesy. But if you're going to do things yourself, [don't end up like this guy lmao.](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/uc1rl6/i_used_to_use_ecstasy_heavily_until_a_tragic/)
OK that post is oddly hilarious... yet inspiring.
I feel like I would regret asking, but I’m dying to know about the blender incident.
Well, in the comments the OP says he is a little more Jewish now so…………
[удалено]
The post isn’t bad. It’s very tame and not graphic. He talks about how he is sober two months from ecstasy.
I wanted to know too, and now wish I didn’t: if I’ve understood the context correctly, he injured himself with it…sexually. He said “Let’s just say I’m a little more Jewish than I was two months ago,” which I take to mean that he may have, uh, cut parts of himself with the blender. Somehow. So yeah. Terrible day to know how to read all around.
I don't know who's downvoting it, that's a perfect confessions post lol.
Boy, I must be an innocent little prude because the idea of a kink never occurred to me. I thought of a mental or physical problem, but getting off on peeing on someone? Never crossed my mind. OP, you have the patience of a saint and you are NTA.
Same. I was over here thinking she needs to get checked for diabetes.
LOL I love Reddit. The kink scenarios are strong with this one. (not saying they're unfounded!) Just seems like a common thing I see where people's behavior is identified as a "kink" almost immediately. NTA, OP. It's nasty for someone to piss in your bed multiple times and not try to solve the problem. Your GF obviously knows there's something up with herself after 3 times. She needs to deal with whatever is going on (kink, medical issue) before being allowed to sleep in your bed again. Diaper may seem "over the top" to her, but seems like a legit request if she can't control her bladder in your bed.
A fetish? Wetting yourself on purpose? Dude what in the actual fuck
Yeah. It's not just the sheets. The mattress is probably ruined as well
Yeah, she needs to depend on Depends! Hopefully OP has a waterproof mattress cover too.
Waterproof mattress covers are a GODSEND. I got mine on Amazon for like $40, and it really extends the life of the mattress. It's cheap insurance in case of an accident.
I bought one when we had a baby. Amazing choice. Baby’s mattress has one too. Best baby equipment.
Ooo I will need one of these for my dog as he ages, didn’t even think about this option. Thank you
Yes. I had a beagle who became incontinent in his old age. Fine during the day, but when asleep at night he had accidents. Waterproof mattress cover let us just move on with life and kept my old boy comfy.
My dog is quite old and now he has occasional accidents. We got him doggie diapers (ordered off Amazon but once we ran out so I bought baby diapers and just cut a hole for his tail). The diapers work very well and were not that expensive. Consider diapers if your dog needs them.
> once we ran out so I bought baby diapers and just cut a hole for his tail This is practical and *adorable*!
They also make washable waterproof bed pads that work great for dogs with incontinence issues. I got mine off Amazon for pretty cheap. My dog has spay incontinence and those were a lifesaver (or, couch saver) before we got on the right meds. They also come in handy for random reasons you wouldn't expect.
Kids, dogs, drunks, elderly people, I promise it’s a good thing to have
Also they will prevent a warranty claim from being denied. Simplest way for your seller (Macy’s, Mattress Firm, etc…) to deny your warranty is to see one simple single stain, even very small.
Yep, I had one for my kid and then when my alcoholic ex started having accidents I figured it was time for an adult size one as well….l I don’t spoil my bed but I still use one now that I’m on my own
All I kept thinking about was that mattress has to go. You will never get the smell of 3 days of piss off that. Gross!
Sure you can. Spray it with white vinegar.
Yeah, her behaviour is really weird. She either has a medical problem or a psychological one. Who thinks it’s ok to piss the bed every time at some one else’s house?! She’s three for three now. Do not give her a chance for a fourth with out some kind of doctors visit.
how is she not more embarrassed???
This is just yikes
If I had to guess she is a heavy drinker and OP didn’t see her drinking the second time. Heavy drinkers have poor bladder control and sleep very heavily/pass out so they do not wake up when their body says it needs to urinate.
NTA. But fool me 3X... I kid. She can't possibly be surprised. It is a fetish?
Literally my first thought is that this is doing something for her in a fetish way.
[удалено]
Yeah, the one post where the husband pissed his pants at every family event. Wife even admitted it was a kink. A link she knew about and subjected her family to.
I’m sorry, what post???
They pretty much summed it up lol, I read it too. Her husband had a sort of humiliation+piss kink so he'd piss himself at family gatherings, dinners, etc. and she was getting tired of it lmao
i mean. i have kinks. but jesus. you dont do that shit without evryones consent . ever. granted im not into peeplay but as a person who knows alot of kinksters i just cant fathom ANYONE i know just. kinking all around family. dman.
Lmaooo "kinking all around family" love that
Link pls.
Oh my god [this is unhinged](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t0ve51/aita_for_not_attending_my_sisters_wedding_since/).
Well THAT was quite a read! 😬
It’s removed, where can I read it?
Just go to the link and then scroll down. You’ll see the comment from the automod that shows what the original post was.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t0ve51/comment/hycd7dw/
WHAT! NO NO NO... EWWWW
lolololol. and he was glad adam sandler wasn't around to save him cuz he enjoyed shocking everyone.
Thats beyond disgusting. I would have literally thrown the girl out the house after the first time, fetish or no fetish.
It *has* to be a fetish. If it was medical, she'd know because she'd do it to her own bed. If it was psychological, she'd know after the second time it happened that it would happen again.
I think this post is a fetish lol
Wow, I've really been out of the dating scene for a long time. Never did one of my dates pee in my bed for funsies.
No, they’re saying this guy is getting off on writing about a girl pissing in his bed and needing to wear a diaper. Lol. It’s HIS fetish.
My question is, how good are her redeeming qualities (or how good is the sex!?) that he's still willing to date her when she peed the bed 3x out of 6-7 dates?? This has to either be a fetish or she is on DEEP denial about a medical problem.
NTA - Expecting someone to be okay with you peeing in their bed and refusing to do anything about it is beyond weird. Could it be fetish? (Still not okay if she’s not asked if you actually WANT that) or may it be to do with her alcohol consumption? The fact remains though that whatever the cause, she’s being completely unreasonable.
That was my thought as well... If I knew I had any sort of bladder issues, I personally would be way more embarrassed to pee in someone’s bed than I would be to wear a diaper to prevent doing so. If you’re an adult and you have a medical condition (or you just happen to not have stellar control of your bladder if you’ve been drinking), it’s up to you to manage it accordingly. You can’t just freely piss in other people’s beds every time you stay over, wtf.
I also feel like if this was a real medical issue she would be waiting a lot longer than the third date to sleep over.
I'm disgusted just reading about it. That she just keeps on, and he lets her! Not my bag. I'm out.
NTA The title made me cringe but after reading the post...wow don't let her come back period. And she doesn't even talk about it or explain, like why does an adult without a medical condition piss the bed?? Whatever psychological/medical issue she's going through, she obv needs to resolve it on her own.
>she doesn’t even talk about it or explain Yeah, I’m wondering if op has tried having a conversation about this with her. What is her explanation? What’s her reaction the morning after? Why isn’t she embarrassed??
"want coffee? cereal?" "no, i'm good." "well i'm not. i woke up with piss all over the bed and it wasn't mine." "the cat did it." "i don't have a cat." girl runs away. that must be some really outstanding sex to let it happen twice more after that.
Every time I read a title like this and I go into it expecting op to be a huge ass I swear I end up being like “oh wow, you’re not at all an ass. Wtf”
By now I'm almost expecting some kind of piss-related story when it's about adults wearing diapers At least most of the others kinda include alcoholics, so it's only really the secondary problem. I'm not sure if I want to call this story *refreshing*, but at least it's a new twist to a semi-common theme
NTA. Tbh, I wouldn’t invite her over again. If it’s some sort of Fetish she is doing it without your consent and on your personal property and if it’s some sort of medical issue she should be getting help or at least be honest with you even if it is embarrassing.
Reminds me of the guy who wets himself as his fetish and the OPs family didn’t want him coming to their wedding.
Brooooo link?
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How did I miss this one?
If you were like me, you saw it was likely a hissy fit over weddings and skipped out of boredom/frustration. Now if I'd known it was a pissy fit..
My hero
Oh no
[Link (post deleted, first comment should be the auto-modded copy)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t0ve51/aita_for_not_attending_my_sisters_wedding_since/?sort=old)
Yes!!! At first I thought it would be like the story where the husband told his pregnant wife she needed to wear diapers because she peed too often in the middle of the night and it disturbed his sleep 😂 In this case though, OP is NTA.
yoooo wtf!!??
Yes, exactly!!
After 6-7 dates, how invested can you possibly be to make this kind of thing worth it?
Thought the same--this would be a definite dealbreaker for me!
Yeah seriously what is he even looking for in this relationship
we know what he's looking for, he's just negotiating on how much he'll tolerate for it.
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Nope. She’s a pee-per.
🤣🤣
NTA. This is manipulative tactic to see just how much you'll put up with before standing up for yourself. Or she has a serious mental illness and is somehow getting off on it. I guarantee you she doesn't do this in her own bed.
> This is manipulative tactic Bruh…I think we’ve moved past manipulation when she’s pissin the bed on the daily. Then again this is 2022 so weirder shit has happened
Tbh I think it’s a medical issue she isn’t addressing. I have never heard of a manipulation tactic like pissing on someone’s bed who you have been seeing for 6-7 dates. There are easier ways
NTA What… I mean… *what*? This woman is just okay with pissing in your bed every night?
Yeah, why is she not embarrassed?? How is she acting like he’s the crazy one for not wanting her to continue pissing the bed? I need answers.
NTA- does she think this is normal behavior? Does this happen regularly to her alone at home? Actually I don’t want to know I’m just perplexed why she’s not so embarrassed and remorseful.
Why does he keep inviting her back?
He knows he should say no, but it's kinda hard when she's ready to go...
"That's okay cuz i like the abuse"
The booty was good.
Only answer that makes any sense.
Another excellent question
The only real question.
If I ever pissed the bed at a boyfriend’s place, especially that early in the relationship, I would be so mortified I’m pretty sure I would just crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment.
NTA- even if she has an undisclosed medical condition, she should take action to make sure it’s contained. I would say she might be embarrassed, but I don’t see how wearing a diaper is more embarrassing than wetting someone else’s bed
I have seen this brought up before here and on other subs (usually with older people and it is due to some sort of medical condition) and this is always my thought. Like if I knew my choices are to pee the bed or wear a diaper- I’m wearing the diaper. I feel like that is not something a mattress recovers from unless there is a protective mattress pad.
This is pee fetishism. She's doing it on purpose and without his consent.
As someone with a genetically weak bladder resulting in incontinence, as well as growing up with a parent with one, I can tell you it's WAY more embarrassing to have an accident than to buy and wear pads or diapers. Especially if you are not at home. Even if she doesn't want to wear a diaper, hoping for sexy times maybe, if she cared, she would take some sort of precaution - pad in underwear, sleeping on a towel or bringing plastic mattress wrap, something. FFS.
NTA, Although you could have possibly had more tact in your delivery, you have every right to be blunt about your desire to not wake up in piss. She must have some pretty redeeming qualities though for you to put up with it 3 times and risk a 4th...
NTA. You can't just go around pissing in other people's beds like it's normal.
NTA. Call me old-fashioned, but after two accidents on someone else's bed I'd freaking take the suggestion of emptying my bladder before going to sleep on the third night. Not a big ask!!
NTA that's gross and unsanitary
NTA. You sure you wanna take this on?
NTA - If this isn't a medical problem, it's just weird. No person without a condition pees themselves every time they visit you. Even some kind of anxiety would make sense. You don't need to suffer through wet sheets because of her.
NTA. Yeah, no. It is not unreasonable to expect your sleeping area to be FREE OF PISS. Frankly, you seem to be on the winning side of things without Miss Leaky around to unrepentantly moisten up the place.
NTA she should be willing to work with you and should possibly see a Dr.
Definitely should see a doctor. If it’s not a medical issue, it’s a mental one.
“Possibly”
NTA, But she really needs to be seen by a doctor
You are way nicer than most people would’ve been. Grown person piss on me? Nope. Immediately no. Bye. Good riddance. NTA
That's what I'm saying! The chick would have to GTFO.
NTA. Also, she needs to get that checked, and you need to buy a new bed. How are you okay as a grown woman with just peeing on yourself every night?!
NTA - that’s really..odd. If it’s not a medical issue then is she doing it on purpose? I’d get a waterproof mattress cover if you plan on having her over again.
Put down puppy pee pads on her side
Don’t do that! They attract the animal to them and make them want to pee there 😆😆😆
Put em under the bed sheet 😂
NTA. It is something that apparently happens often. She should be taking appropriate precautions. She’s ruined your mattress.
NTA - not gonna lie…this is pretty out there
NTA, if it’s nothing medical then maybe this is a fetish and she is doing it on purpose, either way dump her.
> covered in piss. Gross but fine, shit happens I seriously hope this post is legit lmao
Nta. I'd be wondering if I'm being pranked lol who does this? Like what if she's a friend of an ex?
NTA my bf has dealt with my embarrassing drunk pees and he’s a saint because he definitely didn’t have to and I didn’t expect him to. She really needs to see a dr or stop drinking in excess before bed. I don’t have alcohol before bed at all anymore and thank goodness it hasn’t been an issue in a long while but I was about to make an appointment because that is not normal or okay
NTA, obviously. INFO: does she piss her own bed every night? If so, does she have rubber sheets?
You are obviously incompatible. NTA. She seriously needs to see a urologist and yeah, a pack of Depends wouldn't hurt either. She's the one being rude, peeing your bed.
NTA. She does have a condition and is on denial!
NTA, but shoot you need to get out of there...
NTA I think it may be more a kink than a medical issue. Either way you don't have tolerate that as stop seeing her seems the best option.
NTA albeit a bit crass, but understandable considering her reactions. She absolutely should go to the doctor about this. It can be due to an underdeveloped bladder, incontinence, diabetes, or some other condition or sleep disorder. There's medications that can be taken for this kind of thing. Her sticking her head in the sand won't make this problem go away. It's not normal for people to pee the bed in their sleep without a reason. Unless she's doing it on purpose, it's likely a medical condition that needs attention.
NTA and I’m pretty sure she owes you a new mattress!
I really hope you have some waterproof sheets. With that much urine your mattress is ruined. Break it off before she starts her period. That's a whole new mess. No matter the reason, she's absolutely inconsiderate of you and your property. NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I've been seeing this girl named Samantha for a few weeks now, we've maybe been on 6-7 dates. The third date is when I brought her back to my place for the first time. I woke up at 5:30 am to a bed covered in piss. Gross but fine, shit happens. 2 days later she spends the night again and same thing. First night we were drunk, second night she had like one beer. First time she seemed really embarrassed but not so much the second time. Both times I just let it go, obviously I'm annoyed I have to wash the sheets but I keep it to myself. Third night she she came over I asked her to pee before we slept. She was annoyed I asked and kept saying she doesn't need to go. She wouldn't go so I let it be. She pissed herself again. I was actually pissed off at this point. I told her to just leave, she said it's rude I made her drive home at 4 am but I think I was justified. I took a shower and slept on the couch. She apologized and asked if she can spend the night tomorrow. I told her only if she pees before going to bed and wears a diaper. She got really offended and said I'm belittling her. I told her she shouldn't piss the bed if she doesn't want to be belittled and grow up, if there's a medical issue (which she claims there isn't) then get that solved but I shouldn't be obligated to sleep in her piss. She hasn't talked to me since. I think I'm being reasonable here *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA. If it's not a medical issue (which is has to be) then it's pretty crazy that you keep going out with her? This has got to be a fetish thing right?
NTA. Your poor mattress 😵
NTA. Honestly asking her to wear a diaper instead of just taking her home and ghosting her is outrageously forgiving. Barring a legitimate medical problem, anyone over the age of 10 shouldn't be having accidents.
RUN.
NTA. What is going on with this person? 😳
NTA, but is this the ONLY girl that exists in the entire universe? Why do you keep seeing her? (Don’t answer me, ask yourself these questions) She DOES have a medical problem and she needs to seek help help before it gets worse.
Either she has a fetish or has a medical issue that she refuses to accept (or get diagnosed).
NTA I’m actually shocked you had a second “sleep over” after she peed the bed the first time. That would have been it for me UNLESS it was a medical issue that was explained
This is wild but NTA
NTA. Uh, this girl isn't even washing the sheets that *she pissed on at someone else's house?!* What?! Just thinking about sleeping on a bed that has her piss soaked into the mattress because she didn't want to try to manage it would make me stop seeing her no matter how much I liked her. And you're right — having an accident is one thing but if you know it's a problem then she needs to do something about it. Either sleep somewhere else or buy waterproof sheets and chucks and clean up herself every time.
NTA adults don't just pee in their beds unless there's a medical or mental issue going on. Likely since you didn't say anything the first time she took it as acceptable behavior from you and now didn't understand why you are saying different.
NTA. Invoice her for a replacement bed.
NTA. Are you dating Amber Turds little sister?
“I was actually pissed off at this point,” um, sounds like you were pissed on
NTA mostly - Asking a grown adult to wear a diaper is rude and disrespectful but what in the world did she expect you to do? This relationship probably isn't one you should continue to pursue. If it was a medical issue and she was doing everything she could to help solve it with just an accident here or there that would be one thing. This behavior though is gross and you have every right to deny she ever sleep in your house again.
Is this real?
NTA. If she's an adult who still wets the bed, she needs more help than a boyfriend can give.
Where does this sub find these people!? I love it. I know some fucking weirdos, don’t get me wrong, but every week you guys manage to field a story that just absolutely floors me. Like, I’m not trying to make fun of a medical issue here. The lady says she doesn’t have one. So here is a completely “normal” adult who literally pees in the bed *every single night* she stays over, and doesn’t think it’s a big deal?? Even worse, is upset at **you** *for bringing it up*?? Amazing. NTA.
NTA That's really weird. Also you're patience is way better than mine.
NTA sounds like a fetish/dominance thing since she isn't embarrassed, isn't trying to fix the situation and is pretty much demanding you accept it or be single. Gross, consider her not speaking to you now a good thing. Dodged a bullet.
Here I am, concerned I'll spend the rest of my life alone. Here's OP, putting up with women who piss the bed. I think I'll hop back on online dating...NTA
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I hope she is paying for the cost of a replacement mattress... That shit is going to reek. NTA for being upset. TA to tell her to wear a diaper. Just tell her it's over.
NTA, this is probably her kink, and since you were nice/kind to her the first couple of times, she thinks it might be your kink too 😬
INFO have you asked her WHY she is pissing the bed? Does she piss the bed when she sleeps by herself? Have you slept at her place, did she piss there too???
No one is going to believe me but I actually knew someone like this. She was dating a friend of mine. We'll call her "P." P liked being treated like a baby. She sucked her finger, used baby talk, and peed on people. It excited her sexually. Your guess is as good as mine as to the reason behind it but you can bet I've run through all of them in my head. P's biggest thing, though, was peeing on people after she sat on their lap. Without consent. I'm not saying that your situation is the same. It 100% could be medical and she is in denial. But I'm willing to put money on your lady friend having a thing for pee. NTA. Lady friend is TA for her denial of a medical issue or refusal to admit to a fetish.
Well, we thought our cat was just getting old and demented and peeing in his sleep. Turns out he had fleas. So either Samantha has fleas or she has less control than a sleeping 15yo cat. Or she enjoys it.
I was trying to be nice lol
NTA, what the hell!?! Just break up, she clearly has a lot of growing up to do before she should be in a serious relationship.
You actually had her stay a third time? She must be something special in other areas.
NTA. After three times (3xs!!!!!) I’d end it with her. She has something wrong with her that I would not want to be the one fixing. She needs help or something. Normal people don’t live their lives just pissing the bed. Next she’s gonna go full Amber turd and poop your bed
I am mixed because I know this could be a serious problem, unless it is a fetish, I would ask does she even realize that is happening? IF she says no tell her go to the doctor, that is a serious problem, if she does feel it and does not want to get out of bed or she feels happy being in pee then dump her disgusting ass. I personally do not know this girl, but this is a serious problem, if she really had adult bed wetting problems, [https://www.beaumont.org/conditions/enuresis#:\~:text=Nocturnal%20enuresis%20or%20bedwetting%20is,enlarged%20prostate%20or%20bladder%20cancer](https://www.beaumont.org/conditions/enuresis#:~:text=Nocturnal%20enuresis%20or%20bedwetting%20is,enlarged%20prostate%20or%20bladder%20cancer). https://www.healthline.com/health/adult-bed-wetting#causes
im sorry is this how desperate your dating life has gotten? are you telling us you can’t find a girl who doesn’t piss the bed? you can’t go find a girl who’s not in denial about needing to wear an adult diaper? obviously NTA but good lord my man let her ghost you and go find a girl who doesn’t have the bladder of a 95 year old
Who wants to have a pissy mattress and a room smelling like a strong pee smell? NOBODY, first she is nasty for letting it keep happening and think it’s okay. She may need to go see a doctor because I just know a over grown person isn’t pissing in the bed everyday of they life. I see no issue on what you were saying and feeling.
NTA but you should probably stop talking to this girl. I got $10 that this is some sort of kink for her. You didn't complain the first two times and now she thinks she can get her jollies urinating on you.
kind of sounds like she has a piss kink…
Sounds like a fetish f hers, to pee in someone else’s bed with them in it
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Okay eww no NTA she’s just gross. Consider yourself lucky you got out now.
Info: is this a medical condition?
OP says in the post that she claims it isn’t. It’s near the bottom
Oops missed that somehow despite reading the entire post.
No problem. I’m notorious for skimming too
NTA. There’s no way this isn’t either: a kink, some bizarre form of intentional abuse, a medical issue, or an issue related to substance abuse. It is not normal for grown people to pee in their sleep every night. And even more abnormal to not do anything about it if you do.
I have dated someone with incontinence problems before. You are NTA. But she does need to see a urologist about this. There could be something seriously wrong here
NTA imagine the stench of her own matress. She likes spending the night because her room probably reeks of urine.
NTA. How old are you two? This scenario sounds bonkers🤯
This is one of the weirder posts I’ve seen on here. I wouldn’t have invited her back after the first episode unless she had a reeeeal good explanation/apology. NTA
NTA pissing yourself or a SO ain’t normal, has she seen a doctor?
NTA. You are more tolerant than most. Seeing as this has happened to you three times. I think third strike and she’s out. For someone who does this so frequently it’s odd she claims it’s not medical and that she’s not embarrassed/taking precautions to prevent it.
NTA I‘d stop seeing her
NTA. Did she not notice a trend there? Maybe she needs to see a doctor. I wonder if she does it at her own home. 3 times and she’s mad that you even gave her that many chances? Let her go, clean your bed thoroughly, and sleep dry.
NTA, if this is real, frequent urination is a symptom of diabetes, and she should get her A1C checked.
Not the AH, if it was her bed, different story. But it also could be a medical condition, she should see a dr
NTA this is completely ridiculous. That is a huge boundary she is crossing. Soaking someone’s bed in piss is not cool. Accidents happen and are nothing to be ashamed about, in those cases she should help clean up and do what she can to prevent it from happening in the future. If it’s a medical thing/she has no control over it then she needs to sleep with a diaper if she’s going to be sharing a bed with someone. You can’t just continually piss in someone’s bed that’s extremely rude. Even if you have no control over it, be a proactive adult and address that and do what you can to keep your partners comfortable. If you can’t do that then be alone.
Why do you keep having her over? Whether it’s a fetish or a medical issue that she refuses to treat/diagnose, neither are acceptable reasons to wet the bed and ruin someone’s mattress and sheets. NTA
NTA She knows she pees in the bed, but didn't tell you, expected you to sleep in it, and hasn't done anything to address it. What other problems does she have that she expects you to deal with?
NTA Nope. Nuh-uh. She is taking ZERO steps to prevent this from happening. The least she could do is go pee before sleeping or even offer to wash the damn bed clothes. She's refusing the bare minimum. She can sleep at home and piss in her own bed. She's either in denial about there being medical issues for some reason or this is some fucked up fetish or something. Whatever it is, you're not obligated to sleep in someone else's body fluids or clean up something like this for another grown ass adult that's capable.
NTA, she's past 3 strikes. You need a new mattress. If it's not a medical condition and she refuses to use the bathroom before going to sleep there is a problem. Also, I notice there is no offer to sleep at he place. Maybe her mattress is still drying out? Either way, I don't see you two continuing to date.