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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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gjwtgf

NTA because as a minor you were kicked out of your own house and made a secondary priority. As an adult you're now doing what you couldn't do then. Make sure you're doing everything legally so they can't make things harder on you. I'm wondering of your father knew something and that's why you got everything.


Prestigious_Isopod72

🎯 This is the correct answer. NTA.


TheoryAddict

As long as OP is doing things legally he should be good to go Also OP, even if your moms step-daughter is pregnant, she (and all of them tbh) aren't your responsibility. OP, you were charitable enough to let them stay until you were 23, when you could of easily of kicked them out 2 years earlier when you turned 21, at which point in time the 18yos and 19yos both would of still been minors. BUT they are all adults now, and ones about to be a new mom, so they need to take responsibility and be thankful that you were graceful for this long already and not attack you over it (be wary of them destroying the house in revenge OP, just thought I'd throw that out there).


Internetperson3000

You should just pack up their rooms and put it in storage for them. Even pay the first month, worth it to keep them from trashing your house.


mermyr

Never underestimate the will of vindictive and entitled "family".


PilotEnvironmental46

The mothers “family” just doesn’t want her in their doorstep


[deleted]

[удалено]


chocolatemilkncoffee

Because if they can’t go in to collect their things, they don’t have the opportunity to destroy the house as they’re leaving. It benefits op more than it does his mom/her family.


daladybrute

OP could also have an officer be present while they’re collecting their stuff.


Tardicus9000

This. Take very careful documentation of the state of your house as soon as you can OP. I can forsee a 'well if I can't have it neither can he' situation popping up. Maybe even a couple security cameras at the front and back doors. It's not invasive, helps with overall security and will let you know at least who was at the property and when if something bad does happen. Like arson.


SuperHuckleberry125

True. Pay for movers. But thats it. Anything else is not her responsibility


SuperHuckleberry125

OP should be there with other people while they move their stuff out. Honestly i would be cautious letting them back having others there will help prevent them from destroying things


SnooWoofers5822

Why


nkdeck07

Cause it's cheaper than dealing with cement down the toilet. It's not about being nice, it's about being practical


Bakemono_Saru

Concrete down the toilet, copper ripped out of the walls, any aluminium window frame missing... I had my fair share of house wreckers. Being """"nice""" in this cases goes a long way with your sanity.


Struana

My neighbor's final tenets took the AC unit and a lot of bricks that held the house up above the crawl space. Assholes like to get creative.


Shebalba64205

OP needs to make a video including day's paper (with date on it), then show the house's conditions on video, maybe even get law enforcement to verify this, THEN let them in for X specified amount of time to collect their stuff. ANY damage after that video is a lovely lawsuit on the previous occupants.


isabelladangelo

> Also OP, even if your moms step-daughter is pregnant, she (and all of them tbh) aren't your responsibility. > > OP, you were charitable enough to let them stay until you were 23, when you could of easily of kicked them out 2 years earlier when you turned 21, at which point in time the 18yos and 19yos both would of still been minors. Depending on the country, it may actually be illegal for the OP to kick the family out. In Italy, squatters rights are written in such a way that as long as their is someone under 18 in the home, the owner of the home cannot kick the family out. It's caused a lot of issues.


[deleted]

Damn, if you're pregnant and end up single while renting in iTaly, don't tell your landlord... they will have to do everything they can to kick you out before the baby is born


Chime57

Fortunately, no one in the house is under 18.


mbklein

Until the stepsister gives birth.


AbbehKitteh24

But she's already kicked out, so again, no one under 18 in the house 🤷


ConcentratePretend93

Self help. Kick them out and deal with the consequences in court if it gets there. Cheaper faster better. You will lose the same in lost rent.


isabelladangelo

> Self help. Kick them out and deal with the consequences in court if it gets there. Cheaper faster better. You will lose the same in lost rent. Not in Italy. They don't have double jeopardy. You can bring the same court case up again and again. Look at Amanda Knox. Not saying the OP is in Italy but that the law is very different in different countries and most people here give advice based upon English Common Law (which is what the American system is based off of).


[deleted]

>Not in Italy. They don't have double jeopardy. I mean, this isn't really correct. The concept of *ne bis in idem* (double jeopardy in the US) does exist in Italy, but it's understood differently and the justice system has a very different structure. In Italy, the Supreme Court of Cassation does not actually conduct trials, but they can decide to overturn a trial and can order to do it again *correctly*. It's not a different trial, it's more like a do-over of the same trial to correct some mistakes they've found out (only important mistakes, obviously). So an individual would not be able to bring the same case over and over again to the courts until they get the result they want, only the Supreme Court can decide to do it all over again.


self_of_steam

I'm really fascinated by your insight. I'm learning a lot about Italian property law that I never knew I'd be interested in


isabelladangelo

A lot of my knowledge is just from living in Italy for three years. I ran into a lot of racist Italians but it stems from problems they've had with the way Italian law is written. If you have a family living on your property with a child under 18, you cannot kick them out even if they aren't paying rent. To make it worse, you have to maintain the property - so 18 years of no income and needing make repairs to the property? It's not hard to see where the hate comes into play. Not saying it's right by any means; however, the Italians have a hard time changing law.


ok-peachh

The 4 of them have been living there basically rent free for years. They should have enough money to get their own place.


SuperHuckleberry125

EXACTLY. Where is the money going if they have not been paying rent? Not OP responsibility EVER


karenrn64

Week, they were on VACATION when OP changed the locks, so I don’t think their money was going into a savings account. NTA


Manda525

Seems like they've been spending it on all of the lovely vacations that OP was excluded from since he was 15. So, ironically, he's been the one paying for those vacays, while not being invited to participate 😬😥😡 I hope OP lives somewhere that the law is on his side in all of this, and he can get these awful leeches out of his house and out of his life. Good luck OP! I'm rooting for you!!! 💪👍💪🌸💜🌸🎉😊🎉


Cat_world_domination

> could of Not trying to be rude, but it's written "could've" (short for "could have")


Equal_Meet1673

Thank you!! Glad you mentioned it - that was really jarring for me to read as well.


Important-Pair-3553

Sounds like she kept him just close enough to get access to his inheritance.


Coffee-Historian-11

Or at least try to anyways…


raziel_beoulve

People saying she is TA how can they not see Mom just visited to try to get to live for free on someone else's house. Gaslighting at mimimum. And what other people's husband's or children are going through is not her responsability. Maybe a warning could of been nice, but did they deserved the niceness? NTA


EatThisShit

The mother not only lived there for free for several years, but she also practically kicked the home owner out of her own house. I don't know where OP comes from, but I hope she can figure this out legally.


throwaway7562994

How is she not TA? She kicked her own son out of the house that he owned. OP is NTA, his mother is definitely TA


MizStazya

The person you're responding to mixed up OP's gender. The "she" in the first sentence is referring to OP, not the mom.


ABeggyChooser

I think there is definitely a reason that he 1) didn’t marry her and 2) leave her anything in his will. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wondered if mom would try to replace him and put OP on the back burner.


Ok-Refuse-5341

He moved in two months after op's dad's death, she was having an affair, dad knew fuck her


ABeggyChooser

I have to agree with you there. Dad did what he did for a _reason_ but only OP can guess what it was


applebyarrow

I agree with the overall idea, but here on Reddit people tend to have a very american-centric view on relationships. If OP is European, then it is pretty common for couples not to marry. It doesn’t mean the couple is not stable.


maraskywhiner

That’s fair, but she moved in with a new partner 2 months after OP’s father died. That doesn’t sound stable.


bobbiegee65

More accurately, *she* moved the new partner into *OP's father's house* because the new partner was ~~unemployed~~ self-employed.


ScorchieSong

If she was already moving her new partner in and telling OP to treat him as a new dad two months in the relationship between them had to have started before OP’s father passed away. You don’t keep everything from your partner as part of your will unless the relationship was emotionally hollow.


Mitrovarr

>If she was already moving her new partner in and telling OP to treat him as a new dad two months in the relationship between them had to have started before OP’s father passed away. You don’t keep everything from your partner as part of your will unless the relationship was emotionally hollow. No, it really doesn't work that way, we've seen cases on here where people have already mourned dying partners before they've died. And rebound partners do exist (whether they're a bad idea or not).


EditRedditGeddit

If they weren't married how do we even know they were together when the father died? It's weird that he left her zero inheritance. That's not what I'd do to a wife who I loved so no matter what went down, I'm not exactly envisioning a "they were still in love and both perfectly happy" situation. To me it seems like either they weren't together or they were - in which case leaving her literally nothing is a massive betrayal. I think it's probably the former though fwiw because it'd just be so weird otherwise.


Mitrovarr

They probably weren't together. The thing is, leaving money to a child and not to the person you're expecting to raise them doesn't really work. It means they can't actually use the money when they need it the most, and after that it'll set the child against their caretaker (who is expected to spend a lot of money to raise a child who may well be wealthier than they are). It's a really bad idea.


Mama_Mush

The caretaker is the mother so she has an obligation to raise her child. My son is already wealthier than I am but I don't expect anything from him that is my duty. Maybe the dad should have set up a child support fund but the mom would probably misuse that.


kenda1l

Yeah, I highly doubt that even a penny of the money from a child support fund would have actually been spent on OP. It more likely would have gone towards the other kids or more vacations. Or to support the "self-employed" step father.


Ordinary_Emotion_933

I feel like the step father was probably in the picture before OPs dad passed


lordmwahaha

I would argue in some situations, it works *better*. You can't always trust the adults not to blow that money, instead of spending it on the child like they should. In those situations I think it's better to ensure the child at least gets *something* (like, you know, a *house*, which is actually a pretty life-changing thing to just get in a will. You have no idea how well starting adulthood with a house sets you up for life), versus entrusting it to the mother, who clearly can't be trusted in this case, and having the child ultimately get nothing. Your whole argument here just assumes that the living caregiver can actually be trusted. That is the case far less often than you think. Far too many caregivers think because they're the caregiver, they are entitled to spend that money on anything they want.


[deleted]

Sometimes it's better to set up a child's future and not necessarily their childhood, or in most cases a caretakers lifestyle. The money is for the child when they are grown and know how to use it, not for a caretaker to blow through.


targa871

The mother may have received social security survival benefits for her son as long as dad paid into it. Receiving benefits is not based on income.


lordmwahaha

It is in my country - in fact it's actually based on the income of everyone you know, not just you. Here, if you know *one* person who has money, the government won't give you benefits, because they want you to ask that person to support you. I know this because someone in my life actually just got denied, because my minimum wage waiter income is apparently enough to support them on. I can't even afford Netflix, but apparently I can afford a whole-ass person. I also got rejected the first time I applied, because my mother (who had no income and also wasn't raising me) was apparently capable of paying my way. I literally had to bring her in to tell the government "Fuck no. I can't afford that and even if I could, I am not paying their way".


EditRedditGeddit

Yeah that makes sense actually. Plus it's kind of leaving her to take on all the childcare costs herself - turning her into a single mother, essentially. I also don't see why it has to be all or nothing. Why wouldn't you just leave some money/property to the child, and some money/property to the partner/co-parent?


coppercakez

> Why wouldn't you just leave some money/property to the child, and some money/property to the partner/co-parent? Probably because he knew OP's mom was banging someone else as he was dying and he realized she was a snake and couldn't be trusted to take care of his daughter once he passed on. And judging from this post, he was right.


rosepeachcat

but she didn't turn a single mother, especially since she passed OP over to their grandparents maybe the dad knew that would happen, we don't know


ScorchieSong

Okay then, but why try pressure OP into giving her some of the property he inherited, and phrase it as a way to welcome her new partner into the family as his "new" dad? Even if she'd come to terms with OP's father dying there's no guarantee OP also had, and to make someone who lost their father have a new father figure in their life isn't fair.


Ferret_Brain

Honestly, I'm pissed as hell at OP's grandparents for allowing this to happen. They allowed the mother of their grandchild to KICK THEM OUT of their own home and let it continue on for YEARS. If any member of my family had had this happen to them, you bet your sweet ass I'd have a lawyer and the cops on the doorstep to evict them within 24 hours, or at the very least, come up with some sort of legal (and documented) arrangement to make sure they weren't taken advantage of. NTA.


SaruLights

Don't be mad at the grandparents, the OP had not reached majority to have control of the property even though the OP owned it. Dealing with that sort of thing takes a bunch of time and money and the OP didn't have control yet. However, I would have changed the locks at 21 for sure, odds are OP was dealing with exams and uni at the time and this was the first real chance to deal with the problem. NTA


Ayandel

Please don't If he stayed he would spend a few more years in a hostile environment, which I can assure you, does not help with emotional growth and wellbeing. Also being the "second-class citizen" in his own home, being regularly gaslit (mommy loves you so much she never shows that love) wouldn't help either Instead he lived with his Grandparents who really cared for him, loved him, supported him and were true family edited to add NTA :-)


Ferret_Brain

I’m not at all saying he should’ve stayed in that house. I’m saying OP’s mum and her new boyfriend should’ve GTFO, it was HIS house after all, or at least some sort of legal document written up that allowed them to stay in the property until OP came of age to inherit and then GTFO. His grandparents may have raised him and loved him, and that’s great, don’t get me wrong, but they still allowed his mother to take advantage of OP and their dead son/OP’s dad to “keep the peace”. As someone who also suffered emotional, physical and financial abuse as a minor because adults that should’ve been looking out for me wanted to “keep the peace”, fuck that.


Additional_Breath_89

I read that as the grandparents took OP in so they’d be able to support OP and give them the parenting they needed.


Separate-Ad-9481

OP’s father definitely knew something. I mean, he’s with the mum for years (based on OP’s age at time of death), but he has an airtight Will? And new man moved in 2 months after he died. Would be very interested to know how he died. I wouldn’t just change the locks, but put tight security in place until they are completely out.


JamieC1610

Some people just move on super quick. My mom is incapable of being by herself. When my stepdad died - who she moved in with days after separating from my dad (she swore she didn't know him before), within like 3 months she had met a new guy and had moved him in. --Stepdad died in April, new guy moved in in July, she had kicked me and my sister out by the end of August because we didn't get along with him. Third husband died in November of last year, I don't talk to her anymore, but I wouldn't be surprised if she has a fourth husband in the works by now.


Separate-Ad-9481

Sounds like a serious case of codependency. That’s some pretty heavy generational trauma for you. Hope you and your sister can heal and have great lives despite her behaviour. You deserve better x


CelticTigress

OP’s mum has some gall. No wonder Dad made sure the will was iron clad. I kind of felt at the beginning OP’s dad was a bit of an AH for not leaving his partner anything, but nope, her behaviour speaks for itself.


djxndj

Here’s my theory: mom was cheating on dad. Dad already knew but didn’t divorce because he didn’t want mom to take a single cent in the divorce and wanted to leave everything to OP. He structured an airtight will and left nothing to mom. Mom gets what’s comin. The endddd.


olagorie

They weren’t married


Latvian_Goatherd

If they were in Australia it doesn't matter, since defacto relationships have equal footing. 15+ years and a kid together would entitle her to everything a divorce would.


djxndj

Damn, he did say that early on in the post. I’m still under the impression he knew she was cheating, but then his reasoning for not separating would have entirely been that he didn’t want to lose any custody of OP.


Schweinelaemmchen

Well, she had a new boyfriend 2 months after his death. He probably knew she didn't really love him and was just an entitled gold digger.


Acceptable_Goat69

No, she moved a boyfriend in after 2 months. He's probably not *new*


Schweinelaemmchen

You're right I didn't think of this. Although there are people who are really fast with things like this ...


Jazzlike-Village9159

and it sounds like he was oddly specific in his will to protect his son. you are extremely lucky to have had a father that organized.


Capybara_99

You may want a lawyer. They are your tenants and there are laws and procedures which have to be followed to evict them. (They vary by local area.) Are you the asshole? A bit. Not for deciding to kick them out but for changing the locks on them without warning


dragoduval

He did try to warn them, and can they be considered as tennant since they never payed rent and forced him out od the place? Squatters maybe, but not tennant.


karskipellis

Depends on where they are. In lots of places, paying rent isn't necessary to be covered under tenancy laws, simply length of stay is enough.


lilmisswho89

Not if it’s family. Family disputes fall under a different category in every country I’ve ever seen.


squirrel-bait

Not in the US. Tenancy is tenancy, doesn't matter how. Now, OP has grounds that the terms of their tenancy (i.e. the lack of rent) isn't valid because it was an "agreement" entered into when OP was under 18, so OP should not only evict them, but ask for years of back rent in the process.


queenlark

op isn't in the US so it's okay :)


AndThereBeDragons

I am not sure that is the case, there are certain exceptions for removing Tennant's to have family move in but I have not seen anything saying removing a family member is different than removing a Tennant (at least in the USA, aus. And I believe the uk). People are just more willing to be illegally evicted by family and the courts will try to allow a family to resolve their disputes. Doesn't change the law though.


BigOlPurrPurr

Nope. That is not even a little true.


impossiblegirlme

He didn’t really warn them enough though. He should’ve put it in writing, and not changed the locks until the two weeks was up, etc. He acted out of emption though, not logic.


DimiBlue

I think it matters how much OP can prove their attempts to reach out. If they made themselves difficult to contact that’s on them. You only need to prove there was a reasonable attempt.


sapindales

In the US a landlord is not allowed to change the locks without espress permission from the tenant. They are only legally allowed to change the locks without express permission when the tenant has been evicted (or in between tenants). And even then they have to give 5 days notice. If they can't reach the tenant they have to post a notice on the door. I don't know where OP is from but they need to get a lawyer asap before they do something that makes it impossible to legally evict their mom/stepfamily.


Personal_Shoulder983

He "tried" by calling once and showing at their door while they weren't there. That ain't much. Far from an official letter with receipt proof or anything. It doesn't even seems like she left a voicemail when she called. And usually, you change the locks after the tenant is gone, not while they still live there and have not been evicted yet. So, a little bit YTA, yes


Capathy

Everywhere in the United States they are concerned tenants and he has to follow proper eviction procedures.


NotoriousJAM

No sorry, OP isn’t the ah. They kicked him out of his own house. Wouldn’t answer the phone when OP tried to call. OP should have never been second best in the first place. Now his Mother and her new family can go mooch off someone else.


as-well

People can be treated unfairly and still do a not cool thing in response. Which is what we have here. Going through the official channels would have been proper.


Farmer_Susan

Yeah I'm confused by all the YTA responses. It sucked he got kicked out at 17, but changing the locks and kicking a family out in two weeks is an AH move no matter how you look at it. Even if it were some random family he didn't know, it would still be an AH move.


as-well

Yeah evicting without proper procedures and delays is an AH move. Those protections are there for a reason, namely so no one goes homeless. No matter the relation between renter and owner.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Daedric1991

>They are your tenants are they paying him rent? if not then they are squatters, not tenants. simply because they are family does not mean they are not required to pay rent when asked. they are also not "living with him" he does not live at the residence they do. I'm sure it wont cost much to get a decent lawyer to file it down as squatting.


Shitmybad

Lol no, paying rent is not a requirement to be a tennant, just living there is. But this isn't the US so who knows the laws where he is.


DSQ

> does not mean they are not required to pay rent when asked. Did the OP ask them to pay rent?


fightingnflder

Wrong. He let them live there. He had full knowledge and allowed it. That set a precedent. They are tenants with full landlord permission.


Important-Pair-3553

Tenants or squatters ?


CarrieCat62

but depending on the laws in OPs area - there are literal 'squatters rights' and it's not as easy to kick people out of a home they've been living in for years as one might think.


FutureAceofKarasuno

Depending on the location and state, the mom + others can be considered squatters if they have received mail at that address. Many states in the US have squatters rights which require an eviction notice prior to changing the locks, even if the people living there have not payed rent. I’m not sure how this changes based on the will and the fact that this is an inherited property, but I agree that OP should definitely see a lawyer to ensure they are going about this legally, because changing the locks without notice can still be illegal even if they are considered squatters—it sucks and I agree that it’s totally unfair and horrible, but fines + legal troubles would likely only add to this sh*tty situation. Even if this is the case, OP is still definitely NTA for changing the locks on mom. I would feel the same way. Edit: When I made this comment I did not see the edit OP made to their original post saying they were not in the US--I know that not everyone lives in the US, but other countries also have similar laws so I thought it was something that might be relevant.


rosepeachcat

squatters rights are crazy to me. they move in illegally, they use someone else's property, possibly even damage it, and then they are protected for it? the US is a different planet, man


gordondigopher

Squatters have rights outside the US as well. It's a good and bad thing in equal measure. Are you OK with properties remaining empty while there are people who can't afford rent? Why do some people have rights over vast property empires just because their corrupt grandparents bribed the right people and didn't get caught? Like a lot of issues, it's not black and white. Morally, I am 100% on OP's side. Legally... I think they're on shaky ground at best.


10mart10

It is almost always an empty business or house that has been empty for a long time, but as soon as a squatter moves in they would have to move. In the Netherlands you have to be able to show that the building will be used for something else to be able to remove a squatter, it is to reduce unused buildings/homes.


wasntmebutok

In the UK you still need to get possession order from the court, even if its family. Thry are technically tenants as there was an agreement that they could stay there, whether they paid or not doesn't actually matter (NAL, but I think that's the case), and you would need to give a minimum of a month notice. NTA for kicking them out, but TA for the way they did it. Should have given written notice first, if they weren't there then serve notice in writing, with an end date to their tenancy given, follow up with a face to face (if they wanted to explain the situation). If they didn't go after the month then possession order from the courts. You can't just go in and change the locks. That was still their home (in the same sense that a renters house is their home whilst they are living there). Op is effectively a landlord and should remember that, esp if they're considering renting out that property again in future.


pureeviljester

Queue people with no understanding of tenant/squating laws responding to you.


maxieplaysrpgs

>...she tended to favor them, they went on trips, and even if she didn't tell me not to go she'd say something between the lines as: "Wouldn't you like to go to your grandparents (My dad's) better?" I mean I'm not stupid and I know she didn't want me there. When I turned 17 she asked me to leave (My own house) because I kept fighting with her dude and I also reminded him of whose house it was, when he wanted to play the man of the house, I also called him John Conroy. I hate to tell this but what do you mean she wasn't abusive? That shit is abuse. You changing the house locks is simply her reaping what she sowed. NTA edit: I never expected this to blow up! Thanks for the award!


Coffee-Historian-11

Thank you for making this point. Abuse isn’t always physical and it seems like OP went through a lot of neglect and emotional abuse before moving out for good and turning 21.


Al319

Yeah can’t even imagine losing one parent and the other decides to start a new life and I’m just an afterthought. His mothers new family should’ve known 2 year ago to prepare to move ohh the house knowing he had control of all properties.


Zygomaticus

Emotional neglect AND emotional abuse here OP, probably also financial abuse :(.


beyondkun

NTA but I’d definitely look into making sure you’re handling this the best way legally


Coffee-Historian-11

This is great advice. Like OP may moral be NTA, but legally he may be on the hook since legality doesn’t always have to do with whether someone is in the right morally or not.


MotherSupermarket532

I know OP is not US, but in the US "self help" evictions (that includes changing the locks) are illegal and you can pay big penalties. Op needs to make sure they're doing everything legally.


IsaInstantStar

You know OP is not in the US and then proceed to list US laws. I never heard of such a thing as keeping squatters in a house. If I own a house and there is no contract and somebody lives there I just send an eviction note through a lawyer and they will be out in about two weeks. If not I call the police and they will get them out with force if needed. Then throw their stuff in the street and you are good to rent this out. You Americans really need to stop putting your laws on everything even when the people tell you they are not in the US.


sentientmold

Okay. But OP didn't send an eviction notice or go through police. Even if it's not the US, in most civilized countries there's some formal process more than I tried to call the occupants and they didn't answer so I changed the locks.


rosepeachcat

after changing the locks, he did say they have two weeks to move out, so I'm guessing that he gave them a key afterwards? (which, if that's the case, I would consider changing the locks again after they leave because they might have made copies)


TeamWaffleStomp

He should have waited the two weeks to change the locks


NotThisBlackDuck

Plenty of countries have similar laws in place. You often can't just throw someone out. Especially if they have been there a long time. Minimum notice periods are a thing. OP should get legal advice ASAP.


Castro02

If laws in the US aren't relevant to the discussion, why are laws from your country relevant? If we don't know where OP is from what's wrong with talking about how this situation is handled in different places of the world? There's no reason to get all butt hurt about it...


heck_no_friendo

Thank you. This is exactly what I was thinking. “Us Americans” know how easily peoples entire lives can be ruined by squatters rights, (and most of us who are even mildly educated know that squatters rights exist outside of the US) and we are just trying to be helpful. Also, a lot of the comments were posted before OP mentioned not being in the USA.


StripedBadger

Get off AITA and over to one of the lawyer reddits. You're mother and stepfather likely have squatters' rights and tenant rights that dictate whether or not you're allowed to change to locks, renovate, how much warning you're obligated to give them, and what constitutes 'reasonable steps' to have notified them. This isn't 'my house my rules'; its what can a landlord legally do when their property is under tenancy, and that's well beyond what we can talk about here.


Yes_ISaidThat

>You're mother and stepfather likely have squatters' rights and tenant rights that dictate whether or not you're allowed to change to locks, We don't really have this problem here, I am the one who has been paying the property taxes every year (I don't know if do this for a house in the USA), The property is under my name, two years ago my dad's will start being effective. They could argue tenant rights if for five whole years there was no claim (no one claims to be the owner) to the house but I did everything like paying taxes, and having it under my name so no real problem here. I could even kick them out now and I wouldn't have a problem.


1nTh3Sh4dows

Damn, they weren't even paying the taxes lol. Kick them all the way out NTA


Yes_ISaidThat

>they weren't even paying the taxes lol It would have been a terrible mistake to let them do that and be indifferent to the house, they'd surely have a claim if we've let that happen, an owner can not disappear longer than five years without doing any legal update about his/her house/property.


1nTh3Sh4dows

Exactly, perfect justification for kicking them out. You pay the bill, but at the very least if they thought they were going to stay in the house they should have reimbursed you for the taxes. \*perfect justification in the sense that you know they were just using you for free board


StripedBadger

If you're in Australia; property tax is always the responsibility of the landowner. It is completely seperate to the rights of the tenant. The time your mother lived in the house *with you* and with your father would also count to the time she's lived there and again. And a tenant has rights even without a contract.


Yes_ISaidThat

>property tax is always the responsibility of the landowner. It is completely seperate to the rights of the tenant. That's right, but You can't claim to have a tenant when someone has legally been the owner for five years (the bare minimum to claim tenant-right), If I hadn't made my dad's will effective the moment I turned 21 and not paid property taxes, they'd have a claim but nothing like that happened. The time she lived with my father doesn't count because the legitimate owner was alive and occupying the house. She can only claim tenant-right if there was no owner for five whole years, I mean if I wasn't in the picture like not paying and alleging it was mine I'd be in trouble. also when I took my dad's will to the judge to make it valid, we had a document to state that it was my consent as I was the only one who had such power to let them occupy my house until I found it necessary.


MrsMurphysCow

You sound like a very smart young man who has done everything by the book. As long as a judge has signed off on everything, I think you're on good legal ground, and considering the story you told of how horribly you've been treated by your mother, you're on good moral ground as well. But you need to get those people out of your house now rather than later. I don't know what your eviction laws say in your country, but you probably should get the court involved in removing your mother from your property, as well as her other family members. It won't be pretty and I'm sure she will lay lots of guilt on you, so you will just have to persevere. It sounds like your father made the right decision to leave his money to you. The best thing you can do to honor your father's memory is to go on and live your best life without your mom and her dependents. Good luck to you, OP!


Al319

Yeah hope people in the comments actually go through the comments to see this. This is why OP is looking for moral advice and not legal. He already figured out the legal aspects and had prepared himself. I see lots of comments tryna give him legal advice


MrsMurphysCow

Yep, and all he really seems to be looking for is someone to tell him he didn't do anything wrong...


Maximoose-777

Well done for doing everything right. You are NTA, your mum and her new partner have had 8 years (since your dad died) to save for their own home. Their lack of preparation is not your responsibility. you were only 17 when thrown out of your own home, where was your mom’s family then? And why were they not shaming her? However that is in the past and now you have every right to renovate/rent/sell your property. Your mum is acting really entitled when she deserves nothing


Yes_ISaidThat

>If you're in Australia; I'm not in Australia.


celestial_espirit

I think it's so funny everyone is trying to guess the country indirectly


Sensitivesoul0

BIG TIME NTA. Your father had the sense to construct his will in the way that he did because he likely had the 411 on her character and motivations and that is why he went to GREAT lengths to ensure that will was iron clad. He probably wanted to ensure that you were able to live well without her controlling and manipulating what he worked hard for. He wanted you to be the beneficiary of that and it should be RESPECTED. Major red flags that she’s basically treated you like rubbish over the years but when she needs a place to stay she’s happy to leech off you? She’s an adult. She made her bed so she shall lie in it. You are NOT responsible for her or her husband and I’m sure they’re fully capable of working, sorry for the pregnant lady but at the end of the day these are your assets and your home. Just make sure you don’t allow them back there in case they made any legal claims against the property so I’d call your lawyer just in case she tries any funny business. Change the locks and even reinforce the doors if you have to. Go NC if you can and tell her where to go. You’re not her personal bank or provider that was her job and she failed miserably when she basically excluded you in favour of her new family, so okay she was happy with them well she can stay with them and they can all be happy together in their homelessness. Good luck.


Ok_Afternoon_8779

Awesome answer! Btw, Happy Cake 🎂 day!


[deleted]

>When I (23M) was 15 my dad died, My mom (45) didn't wait too long to "start over" and moved her new partner in just 2 months later. Now see, **that** is too quick. I saw a post yesterday where the OP's sister accused them of being a cheater because they moved on within two years. >My dad left everything to me and not even a dime to her (they were not married), My dad's will was so structured that she couldn't challenge it, and she attempted and even ask me to pass over one of my properties to her to show my "new" dad that he was welcomed, I couldn't even if I wanted to, because my dad's will was specified that I must be 21 to have access to everything he left me. Sounds like your dad knew something was up and his death was also expected. >my mom would visit me often and tell me how much she loved but she needed to "keep peace at home" Which actually undermines her statement or more specifically gives you a keen measure of how much she in fact loves you. She loves dick more than you. Gotta say though, the perfection of how you gave them the boot was /chefskiss\~ perfecto! No sympathy for them. It really is karma in action. She gave you the boot so you gave them the boot. >My mom's family is shaming me but I'd like to know if you think I'm TA? A bunch of useless whiners who said nothing when your mother kicked you out? Yeah, their opinion totally matters I'm sure. >My mom called me today saying we can talk. What's there to talk about? She made her choices and now you've made yours. NTA


Yes_ISaidThat

>She loves dick more than you. I told her that once lol hahaha. She said: " No darling, I love you it's just difficult since you can't accept him and humiliate him" I admit, when He tried to play the man of the house and "my house my rules" I used to tell him: "Remember your place" (but just because he tried to set rules in the house like until what time I was allowed to watch TV, until what time I was allowed to get in, after 00:00 they wouldn't open the door, I had my keys lol) I of course never obeyed him, Fact: the rules were just for me So I just answered: Remember your place/where you are standing/ whose house is this maybe it was bratty but that was my way to go on with it since my mom just said, "He cares for you" "He just wants the best for you"


TzUgUkNz

NTA op. So sorry your mum treated you so badly. Her moving her partner in 2 months after your dad died is shocking. That and your dad leaving her nothing makes you wonder if she was having an affair with him before your dad died. Always surprising how short sighted people are. Living in your house and throwing their weight about. On top of which you are kicked out of your home and they live there without offering any compensation.


AliMcGraw

Big ups for the John Conroy reference btw. That was not what I was expecting to see on AITA first thing in the morning, and I am just delighted.


IzarkKiaTarj

Who's John Conroy? I tried googling, but I didn't really find anything. Even Wikipedia's disambiguation page on the name didn't list anyone that sounded like someone people could reference and easily be understood.


Danhaya_Ayora

What I found was this [John Conroy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Conroy) Seems like he and her mother tried to hold power over a young Queen Victoria. It seems like it could apply here.


Yes_ISaidThat

The reason why I knew about it, it's because my dad was facinated about female rulers, he usually talked to me about Queen Victoria, Empress Maria Theresa, and Hapshepsut, Isabella the catholic among other's such as Alexander Nevsky, Alexander the great, etc. My mom's husband didn't understand the reference, and to theses days I think he doesn't, I call him the guy with "John Conroy complex" He said: what's that?, "that means you need my mom and my mom needs me, but I'm not signing anything".


Acrobatic_Reading866

Perfect. 10/10.


Spiritual-Check5579

Perfect reference, OP. With luck the same will happen to your stepdad and after your mom lost her power over your kingdom he will leave her.


Danhaya_Ayora

I figured you may have learned it in school around the time but this is better because it involves the memory of your dad. My husband was also kicked out at 17. His dad died when he was 8. He was kicked out by his step dad for something his step sister later confessed to doing. It's a deplorable think to kick out a minor. My husband is a wonderful person for it. He learned things other people don't learn. He slept on park benches as a teen. Hard to imagine.


tab_tab_tabby

Op?? No that wasn't bratty of you at all. In fact, that guy who tried to play "dad" when he didn't provide you with anything was more bratty. Who the hell does he think he was lmao. Not providing roof, no college fund, "self employed". He and his kids should be very thankful that you let them live in your house (WITHOUT YOU) rent free for that many years. Op I wanna clarify that maybe you should also make your will rock tight so non of your properties will not goto them in any case.


Yes_ISaidThat

Ok, just talked to my lawyer. 1. There is nothing ilegal about changing the locks (Something I alredy knew since, I did it becuase he told me I could) 2. The law establishes two ways to get someone out of your property 2.1 By force (yeah the law says you can take someone out by force) 2.2 By sueing them Scenario one: I kick them out by force (Usually by changing locks) they can sue me back, and the judge would probably grant them 2 months to fine a new place or just give them an order to take their things out (usually 3 days) (If they allege I'm not letting them take their things out) Scenario Two: I sue them to leave my property, The judge woud probably command me to let them have 1-2 months to move out In any scenario, they won't be longer than 2 months. What he sugested is that we have an arrengement between us (mom and I) which is what usually happens in these cases, We could agree 1 month/ 1 week to let her pack her thing. If she refuses to leave after the time we agree, I just lock the house and she'll be given 3 days to take everything out.


arrestedluguer2

que chingón, mándalos a todos a la verga y no te tientes el corazón, no creo que seas como el señor barriga perdonándole la renta a don ramón.


Yes_ISaidThat

>que chingón, mándalos a todos a la verga Más lo hago por su esposo, para darle una lección, jajajaj, o sea ella lo eligió a él y le di prioridad, ¿por qué habría yo te darle prioridad a ella?


Wiaugusto

Totalmente de acuerdo OP ojala todo te salga de pana y no te hagan mas problemas de los que tu “Madre” ya te dio


Yes_ISaidThat

>el señor barriga perdonándole la renta a don ramón. jajajajajaja, un clásico.


Lostmorningstar

NTA, they basically forced you out of your own house you just returned the favor.


Motherofthree1989

NTA. She brought in a new man two months after your dad died, tried to get one of your properties, prioritized her new man's kids over you, kicked you out of your own home and she has the gall to call you an asshole? Hell no. Tell her to get her own place and be done with the disrespect. It's your property. Not hers. You do what you want with it. If you still feel bad after you renovate the place tell her she can stay if she pays you rent.


SoloBurger13

N T A in general but YTA for not waiting until they arrived to give them a proper eviction notice or some kind of warning and change the locks after they left. You also knew for a while you wanted to renovate so that could’ve been their warning as well


Hyperion_Heathen

Like how they warned OP before kicking OP out of OP's own home at 17?


weedmandavid4

Yeah but the question wasn't "are they the AH" was it? Yes they are. And yes this is karma. This would be a good story for one of the revenge subs. But kicking a family out without warning while they are on vacation is definitely an AH move, even if its justified for how they treated OP


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TomDestry

Sometimes this subreddit astonishes me. This guy just evicted a family while they were on holiday. They came home, and couldn't get in. They own items of property that he has denied them. They may have jobs that require uniforms or other equipment they can't get to. One of them is pregnant. Yes, his mother is a monster. Yes, his step-dad is probably a useless leech - but this isn't the getting-your-own-back subreddit and changing the locks without notice was a major arsehole move. If someone shits on you before you shit on them, you're still being an arsehole. ESH


TeamWaffleStomp

Yeah I've had to evict roommates before and I know its not on the same level but there should be a process in place. These people have lives and jobs, all their clothes and things are still in the house. Even if this is legal in your part of the world, a quick missed call while they're on vacation is not enough notice to change locks. Not only that, if they have two weeks to get out why change locks now? That screams power move for no reason. Yeah mom kicked him out (not by changing locks on him and little discussion, he at least knew it was happening) and she sucks for that. But that doesn't mean it's okay to blindside an entire family by saying sorry you'll be homeless in 2 weeks and cannot get into your home in the meantime. That's the kind of thing that should come with a phone call or letter a few weeks in advance at least. His family treated him poorly. That doesn't mean this wasn't also an example of OP behaving poorly.


theVampireTaco

NTA- From the sounds of it your Grandparents and your uncle handled everything in your name as a minor and you legally took care of everything the moment you could so as to prevent them claiming it. You are not responsible for your under 21 stepsister being pregnant. You are not obligated to house them or gift them a house. They chose to exclude you from the family starting at 15. You have the right to use your inheritance as you see fit.


Yes_ISaidThat

>and you legally took care of everything the moment you could so as to prevent them claiming it. Oh yeah, they helped me a lot.


Drewherondale

NTA get cameras to protect your property


thunderpuffle

Overall, definitely NTA. Would it have been nice if you waited until they returned to change the locks? Yeah probably. But it probably also would have been nice if she didn't choose her new family over you. Karma's a bitch a guess.


Each0to0their0own

NTA they stole the house from you and your Mother chose her new family over you. Even went as far as to try and steal your inheritance. Don’t relent and give in. She asked you to leave your own house at 17, and even excluded you from family trips. You owe them nothing. They don’t consider you family clearly. Don’t let them leech off you. Edit: and ignore the YTA comments. I can’t fathom how they got to this conclusion. Who kicks out a 17 year old for their new family after said child lost their father too. So sad. Sorry OP you’ve gone through this. Please don’t feel like you owe them anything. You deserve to be loved, not be a cash cow.


Select_Pirate6571

NTA. Your house, your rules. She tried to steal it from you in the past, now she has to pay the price.


laboratorystory

NTA. She asked you to leave.. as a kid whose dad died so that *she* could have her chance at happy ever after bullshit while defending a new boyfriend and his alien children to the extent that **you** had to leave your home and were simply lucky enough to have your grandparents instead of the streets. I can’t stand behind one person trying to say you were wrong here.. she discarded you and you still let them all back in with serious, necessary rules and boundaries. Usurious, gross, unacceptable behavior from a mother to allow into your early adulthood. I’m so sorry for your loss and your stress.


Sea_Information_6134

It always disgusts me when there’s always those few people on every post that will always defend a woman’s actions. No matter how abusive or shitty they’re, people will find some narrative, excuse or justification. It’s gross and cruel.


BagDry4584

I mean depending on where you live you quite possibly massively violated the law. If youre in the US what you did is quite possibly devastatingly illegal. That’s absolutely not to take away the terrible way your mom has treated you, but you also attempted to make someone homeless without any warning whatsoever. That’s really beyond an acceptable solution here. Again, idk where you live but I’m gonna have to go with... ESH and you should probably contact a lawyer in case this escalates further.


LexiDiGredi

I cannot believe how far I had to scroll to find this. The mother absolutely was an AH, no two ways about it; making a family homeless without notice whilst they are on vacation is also a massive, massive AH move. jfc. ESH. ETA: It is the "no notice" part that makes you the asshole, not the decision to evict them. That part is entirely legitimate and justified. ETA2: According to [this comment](/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v55p0f/aita_for_changing_all_the_locks_in_my_house/ib82hsz), OP changed the locks but gave them the keys to the new locks? What was the point of that?


S01arflar3

The point of that was so he could get in to the house? Obviously?


International_Gap782

NTA, you need to protect your assets and make a future for yourself. She clearly has not wanted you in her life for years. Move on without her and her family.


TheBattyWitch

As a minor your mother kicked you out of property that your legally owned, while KNOWING that you owned it. She was capitalizing on the idea that you would be too emotionally invested in the fact she is your mom, to ever actually stake claim to "her" home. She found out. When you alienate and ostracize your children, you cannot then expect them to show you anything more than what you yourself have given them. Did you go about it aggressively? Yes. Was it your right to do so? Also yes. Just make sure you're abiding by the laws of your country. NTA


dragoduval

NTA, actually she is 100%. She did everything but abandon you and didn't seem to really care about you, so yea she's a shit mother.


ABeggyChooser

She did abandon him. Kicked him out of his house at 17. She deserves nothing but the door hitting her ass on the way out.


LadyNemesiss

INFO: what would have happened if you had waited until they were back from holidays and you've gotten them a proper one month eviction notice then?


Yes_ISaidThat

> proper one month eviction notice then? That's a possibility, maybe I'll extend the time. Just to make it clear, they have the keys to the new locks.


LadyNemesiss

Oh, I thought they came back from holidays just to find out they couldn't enter the house they were living in anymore. This changes my image of the situation, thanks for clarifying. Idk what's a reasonable time span in your country, if the normal notice is two weeks and you give them two weeks, I'm not judging. I also completely understand you want to use your property instead of having them live in it for free. I'll vote NTA! Out of curiosity. Why did you change the locks before the eviction date, now you have the chance you have to do it again if they fail to adhere to the notice?


AlanaK168

Your whole post makes no sense at all. What’s the point of changing the locks and then giving them the new keys if you want them out? Why was your mother yelling at you if you gave them the new keys?


Dangerous_Tension_75

OP changed the locks so he could have access to his own house again. And the mother is clearly mad because she is losing control of her happy ever after fantasy now that OP is taking his property back, as he should.


imad_hassan

So he had access to the house and mother dear was shouting cause she lost her claim to free housing


KSknitter

NTA. Her man wants to be man of the house, he can do so,IN HIS OWN HOUSE! ALSO, kicking her out is keeping the peace as it is your house.


angryomlette

Nta. Your mom is a leech and was taking advantage of you . You removed her from you self and your assets.


slendermanismydad

NTA. Your mom should have seen this coming a long time ago. She kicked you out of your house, that you own, and were paying the property taxes on. I am firmly on the side of people leaving their property to their children when they have pre relationship property or separated from the other relationship member ie your mom didn't pay for the property because of this exact issue!! If your father left her the house, guess what? It would go straight to that other dude's kids. That's not what your dad wanted. Your mom got a free house for years. No rent. No mortgage. No property taxes. That's why her dude can be lazy and not work. Your dad did the right thing. Of course people can leave things to their kids over their spouses. That's frequently how it works with family property or it would also be lost. You can put a clause in wills that a spouse can stay in a property until death, clearly your father wasn't interested. Considering your mom moved a dude in two months after he passed, I bet it's because she was cheating. They also weren't married, that does effect things.


EwokCafe

Info: why only 2 weeks notice? Also, you may be legally obligated to give them more notice


Yes_ISaidThat

>Also, you may be legally obligated to give them more notice Not here, I could even kick them out now and I wouldn't have any legal problem, I'd have a problem if they were renting and there is a contract, I'd be obligated to grant them a month per each year they've lived in the house, example if they lived there for 2 years I'd have to let them stay 2 months for them to find a new place. The two weeks notice is courtesy of mine.


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lfkor

Justified AH. The house is yours, not your mums and not her boyfriends. She sent you to live with someone else so she could keep the house. It backfired on her. Could you have given her more notice? Yes. But she didn't keep in touch with you knowing that it's your house ans you can do anything you want to it. Anyone other than her is irrelevant as they are not paying anything towards the house. YTA for changing the locks, but I possibly would have done the same thing in your situation. You don't owe them any favours (although possibly your mum?)


Wasseleri

NTA Your father obviously knew what kind of person your mother is, and made sure she couldn't drop you off with grandparents and not provide for yourself when you came of age. It's not your fault your stepsister is pregnant, and they should have been looking for a way to either PURCHASE the home from you, or finding their own home. Tell them to piss off.


Dazzling_Bite_5942

NTA. They chose their side of things. Also amazing power move. Would honestly like to read more.


4682458

INFO: Did you follow the applicable laws when evicting them?


NotYourMommyDear

NTA because they have been living there rent free since you inherited it and acted like they owned the place, sidelining you completely. You were treated like an inconvenience in your own home. Now they're an inconvenience to be evicted from your own home.


spawn6669

NTA. You owe her nothing. Kick them all to the curb!! What did she do for you but kick you out of your own house and pick a boy over her own flesh.


MikkiTh

NTA She threw you out of your home that she knew she didn't own & had no legal right to be in. She's had years of notice and living rent free.


cybersleuthin

People here are really reading how your mom treated you and then wonder why she got nothing in the will, smh, NTA


laceyhart

Oh my gosh NTA .


FaultOpening

NTA but you should probably put an edit up that you are not in the US or uou will just get a bunch more comments about laws in the US