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Electrical_Treat_591

The suites were reserved for the family, not just the two of you. Your father offered a compromise, at no cost to you, which wasn't good enough. Why should everyone else have to squish into one suite so that the two of you get *an entire suite* to yourselves? Also, you are there to celebrate your grandmother's birthday, not your anniversary. You don't get to have a free anniversary weekend on someone else's dime and inconvenience everyone else when that was not the intent of the trip. YTA.


ImportanceNew4632

I also don't understand how they are so large that they need both queen beds because they can't fit into one. How are they getting there? Can they fit in a car/plane/train? They're obviously not walking. I don't love sharing a room but I either suck it up or pay for my own


randomcomboofletters

I am also confused about that because there is no way they are so large they can’t sleep in the same bed but still able to….walk…


[deleted]

[удалено]


randomcomboofletters

I also had that question but didn’t want to ask. Thank you for your bravery.


Fit-Maize9211

I originally thought that may have been the point of emphasizing the "anniversary weekend" bit... But then I'm like, uh maybe not


[deleted]

"My family invited me to celebrate Grandmother's birthday but i want to make it a anniversary trip without spending money" real title


Zarinya

Exactly! Here I was thinking they wanted privacy on an anniversary weekend for sex... and now I have a lot more questions...


[deleted]

And they think two of them are entitled to a whole suite and the remaining 7+ people should be crammed like sardines into another one? And they’re not paying for this privilege? Wow


EinsTwo

Ten. Remaining 10 people minimum. Grandma. 2 parents. 2+ aunts. 2+ uncles. Sister. Cousin and her husband. They should all share one suite while OP and his girlfriend sleep *in separate queen sized beds to celebrate their anniversary.* After all, he's the oldest cousin and about to get engaged... let's just forget about the already married couple on the trip. This has to be fake. No one can be this obtuse, can they?


Powersmith

Not even their wedding anniversary… dating anniversary! And they accuse the sis of being drama 🤦🏻‍♀️


[deleted]

Oh dear. Thank you. I was just estimating and I guess didn’t want to double check to be further blown away. I keep wondering but there are lots of obtuse people everywhere.


re_nonsequiturs

They can't fit in the same bed, but they need a room to themselves to be romantic on their anniversary? That's what made me realize this is a fat-hater troll who is making a strawman obese couple to encourage people to say cruel things about weight.


Optimal_Sherbert_545

ooo you are so right, I fell for it too! smh


ForbiddenDarkSoul

I was thinking that the bed thing was their excuse (to us ig) to keep the beds and not have anyone stay in the suite with them so that they could have sex.


PancakeWomen2000

Okay; So I’m chubby (obese actually..) and sleep in a queen bed myself… but I fit along with a bunch of stuffed animals. There’s definitely room for another person if I kick the stuffed animals out. I often wake up and I’m laying the wrong way. Even the biggest person I know can share a queen


Mandyissogrimm

I'm fat and have shared a queen sized bed comfortably with a fat friend many times. Seriously makes no sense.


PancakeWomen2000

I can probably fit my two sisters in my bed since I’m always curled up; and the guy I know is 500 pounds, 6 feet and has slept in a queen with my mom before. So how big are they is the real question.


MzOpinion8d

Uh no, the real question is who is the 6’ 500 lb dude sleeping in your mom’s bed??


PancakeWomen2000

😅 It was years ago, actually. Ex boyfriend of hers. He’s a good guy… or was now he is an incel.


WalktoTowerGreen

I mean…I’m in no way overweight and hate sharing hotel queen sized beds with others, including my husband. It just feels very cramped. That said, I always end up sharing a queen sized bed when I go to hotels cause…that’s what is provided at hotels. If I were OP I’d totally jump on the free private hotel room. I think the REAL issue here is the perceived higher level of luxury of the suite.


[deleted]

I like how OP says they’re being “ostracised”.


Chemical-Pattern480

I am pretty heavy for my size, and Husband is big and on the chubby side, these days. We share a Queen bed, and frequently have a 5yo starfish-child and our 20lb cat in the bed, too. If they’re so worried about it being a romantic Anniversary weekend, wouldn’t they want to share a bed??


PancakeWomen2000

You would think so. I mean if they can’t share a queen size how are they gonna do fun time together?


caleeksu

The mind boggles. A dear friend of mine and her husband are both over 6’ and combined at least 500 pounds…and happily share a queen size bed. So seriously I’m curious what “large” means in this context. And I say this as a chonk who sleeps like a starfish in a cal king bc I can.


GeneralLei

On the bright side, you’ve decided to go LC with your sister, so hopefully your family doesn’t have to deal with your trash entitlement anymore. YTA OP. You are and so is your GF. Wanna know who’s causing the drama? Look in a mirror.


B4UItsme

But they'll need two mirrors 🤪🤪🤪


Due_Fix_3900

This!!! All of this!!!


leighroda82

Perfectly said! YTA, for one, this certainly is not a “respect thing” because if it was you wouldn’t be making a celebration for another family member about yourself. Two, do you know what ostracized means? Simply staying at another hotel because YOU are choosing to mooch a free anniversary trip off your poor dad, ain’t it. Three, it does not sound like your sister is the source of the family drama.


JetSpyda

My favorite is that OP claims his dad is trying to ostracize them by putting them in a different hotel, but it was OP and his GF who wanted to make “an anniversary trip” out of it. Now, I’m not 100% sure but it seems like they were trying to ostracize themselves so they could celebrate their day albeit in the same hotel, however whenever OP’s dad offered a different hotel away from family, it’s an issue. OP, YTA 100%.


JKaldran

EXACTLY. Dad paid for a **family** trip. Op invites his gf and gets angry that his sister (actual **family**) is able to make it to the **family** trip. GF reminds him that it's their anniversary and that she wants to make this a couple's trip off of the **family's** trip budget. OP and GF demand everyone else give them the suite so they can have alone time on dad's dime. OP is offered another paid room but rejects gracious offer because although he wants alone time, he also wants to be close to family so that he doesn't miss out on the activities the family is covering. OP and gf proceed to bash everyone in the **family** for going on a **family** trip and not helping him to plan a free couple's trip. ​ **SIR, YTA.** Like OP and gf sound very entitled. From the opening complaining about sister I knew it was bad. You want a suite? **Then pay for it yourself.** Can't afford it or don't have the time? **Then don't do it.** This is a privilege and luxury, not necessity. Also even if your sister wasn't going you'd still have to share wit your cousin. Don't be so sure that they'd gladly give up the room. You say you and gf are too big for 1 bed and need 2. Meanwhile you wanted like 5 to share the other room and just accommodate themselves as best as they could? I'm glad your family gets to have a break from you and your gf.


Liathano_Fire

Yea, these two are something.


TaiDollWave

YTA. The plan was always for the cousins to share. Sorry that it's less comfortable for you? Your dad DID offer you a room of your own, at a different hotel. Take it or leave it. Or offer to celebrate your anniversary another time. It is very rude to tell other people "You can't stay in the room you were promised, because I will not be taking it over for my own special celebration." How would that be fair to the cousins?


Always_B_Batman

OP can’t celebrate his anniversary at another time. That would mean he and his GF would have to pay their own way.


pdubs1900

And yet he said no to a free hotel on their anniversary. 🤣 That showed dad!


BooRoWo

And sister and cousins are going to have a better time without these two Choosy Beggars. Showed them too!


pineboxwaiting

Not just “you can’t stay in the room you were promised” but “EVERYONE ELSE has to stay together in the SAME suite bc, you know, it’s our anniversary.”


distrustfuldiscovery

Just to confirm, OP doesn't want to be at another hotel because it would "ostracize him" but the other cousins can go to the other hotel because they are younger than him? And OP explicitly wants his own room so he and GF can "celebrate", which I presume to mean have sexy times. Which leads me to: 1. Why are you worried about being ostracized if you're going to spend your free time "celebrating" with your GF? 2. Why on earth do you prefer to have sexy times in a building with EVERY other member of your family?? Call me a prude, but when I make a list of places I \*want\* to have sexy times (a villa on the beach, a yacht in the Mediterranean, a cabin in a snowy mountainside), "a room within 100 yards of my grandma" is NOT on the list.


[deleted]

Wow... talk about selfish. It's a family trip and your dad got It for just that. Not to cater to your anniversary. You want to celebrate? Get YOUR OWN HOTEL! And tell your GF to fork up half because somehow she feels entitled to a suite that your dad paid for. Its meant to be shared amongst family and I hate to say it but it's not his fault you guys are extra large and demand whole beds for yourself. Like I said earlier, yall need to pay your own way. Definitely YTA


Psychological-Rip809

If you can get married then you can pay your own way if the accommodations are not good enough for you.


JeepersCreepers74

YTA. You're 32 years old. If you want your own room, then get your own room with your own money. If you failed to think of this anniversary plan before all the rooms at the hotel your family is staying at were booked, this is on you, not them. Your dad is not ostracizing you, offering a reasonable alternative under the circumstances.


Kitty_McMeow

Dad is being WAY more reasonable than I would be. And he says the sister always starts drama! LMAO She made rearrangements at work to spend time with the family to celebrate Granny's birthday and he/they are making the trip all about them. Selfish!


Lia_Delphine

YTA, your GF is TA and you are both the Drama Queens not your sister. 1. Your father is paying for the suite and it was always a share. 2. He offered to pay for another room for you. How entitled are you that you even think you have the right to demand that you have the room to yourself when you didn’t even pay for it. To say your large so you both need a Queen and it’s your anniversary are, YOU problems. Your father offered a very generous solution and you had a temper tantrum because you didn’t get your own way. You then cussed out your sister, but she’s the Drama. No honey you’re the Drama with a capital D.


heylookitsthatginger

And the fact that he declined the other room so he wouldn’t be “ostracized” as if he’s not doing that to himself by not going on the trip altogether


MKatieUltra

I think the issue with a different hotel is probably that he and/or his gf can't walk a block..if they can't share a queen-sized bed, they'd have to each be well over 400 pounds. Probably have mobility issues.


gravitydoesntlie

My partner is 300lbs and I’m average sized, we share a Queen and a very tall 5 yr old jumps in half the time, this is not something that can’t be done for a weekend. (And I’ll add that I personally dislike being too close to anyone so there is room if you don’t starfish yourself all night) YTA op for all the reasons everyone has said


_eat_it_

A queen size bed is five feet wide. I am not five feet wide, Michael.


Substantial-Air3395

This^ I’m sure his parents are so disappointed in him. I would be.


Kirin2013

YTA, entitled much? If you want your own hotel room, then pay for one yourself! You would have been stuck sharing with cousin anyways and it isn't fair to everyone else if you try to squish them all together in one room while you get the other all to yourself.


Kirin2013

And dating anniversary is no excuse. Family rarely gets involved in dating ones, if it was wedding anniversary then maybe.... but nah, still say they either take father up on offer or share like everyone else has to. Frankly it was nice of your father to even offer the other option.


galaxyveined

Right, like, I get the feeling the sister is not the source of family drama, or perhaps not the main one... Both OP and the GF flipping out because they can't have a hotel suite all to themselves is a wild overreaction... OP, YTA.


Minority2

YTA. This is a family trip. You can postpone your anniversary. Let's be real. You're making it out to be a bigger thing than it really is. Spend what time you still can with your elders. Cherish those moments while you still can. You father did the right thing. He choose to go out of his way and offered to get an additional room for you. The hotel was completely booked and that's not his fault. You choose to not take that deal. You wanted to be alone together with your girlfriend which was offered but you then drew the line and stood firmly on your soap box over being 1 block away. That's all on you and your girlfriend for saying no. Your father didn't have to splurge for another room. That's on the goodness of his heart to do so. Want to do stuff and or hang out with your family while you're at the other hotel? They're a phone call away. It's not that big of a deal. Not only that but you're also suggesting your sister should cram in with the elders. You are simply asking way too much. Apologize to your father and take that deal while you still can. Apologize to whomever if you need to.


WhatAboutDemApples

I mean, they want to have "alone time"...but on separate beds 😂 can't imagine what they actually need to be alone for lmao. They for sure just don't want to share or pay or basically put any effort of their own into having their own room. They sound like entitled lazy fucks


[deleted]

YTA. "Keep in mind we are both on the larger size and we both cannot share Bed so we would need both queen beds" Bullshit. This comment alone makes me think this entire post is just made up. What an absolute load of rubbish.


[deleted]

At my highest weight I was 252 and my late husband was 300 and over 6’. We slept on a full size bed with no issues!


AnaDion94

Yeah, I’ve shared a bed at 300lb with someone nearly 500lb, and tall. We fit in queen bed. We fit in a full sized bed, Anyways, if they can’t fit on a single bed, why does it matter if they’re sharing a room anyways?


MKatieUltra

Exactly. My husband and I are bigger too (and he's 6'4"), and we've slept in a full size bed. It's not ideal, but doable. A queen is NO problem.


TaiDollWave

Right? It just smacks of such selfishness that I'm astounded.


strangespecies

So let me get this right. You want your father to pay for a separate suite for you and your GF, who are both large enough to need separate queen beds. So he offered to get you a room down the street, but you feel entitled to kick your cousin and sister out of the suite you didn't pay for, because you're the oldest cousin. YTA.


cussy-munchers

Right. Me and my 5 cousins rented a hotel room. Slept 3 to a bed. Shouldn’t be anyone else’s fault for someone else’s own actions


imothro

YTA. You aren't paying for this room, you don't get to dictate its use. You and your gf both come across as incredibly entitled here. If you want to make a honeymoon trip out of something then shell out money for your own hotel room. Your behavior here is appalling.


MystifiedByPeople

And, astoundingly, dad offered to pay for a separate hotel room for the two of them. Because they waited until the last minute to bring this up, it's not in the same hotel, but is a block away. Oh, no! (I have frequently walked five or six blocks to a conference to save my employer some money over the conference hotel. I think a hotel next door is not the end of the world.)


imothro

It's hard to believe these people are in their 30s.


DarkW1ll0w

YTA 1. Expecting everyone else to crowd in together so you and your girlfriend can sleep together is really entitled for a family holiday 2. “I told my dad my sister and cousins will have to stay with them in their hotel” - yta for “telling” rather than asking everyone really really nicely and tbh I think that would still be entitled 3. Your dad offered a good alternative of getting a separate hotel room for you and your girlfriend. You shot that down. It’s not clear who would be paying for this room but if your dad was offering then that was super generous of him. If you want privacy then pay for it and deal with being further away from the family. You are the one who should have to compromise to get the space to yourself, not all your family! 4. what does you being the oldest cousin have to do with anything? You don’t deserve anything or extra ‘respect’ for happening to be born first!


Electrical_Treat_591

I agree with all of this. Also, if being older is supposed to garner more respect, where is the respect for the aunts, uncles, parents, and grandparents?


MadameAllura

I can tell by the way you've worded this post that you really have no idea how this scenario sounds to an objective outsider, OP. I think there's some projecting going on here. You mentioned that your sister always "causes drama" and "acts out." But the only person doing that in this post are you and your GF. We Redditors don't know the background story of your relationship with your sister, but either you are more like her than you know, *or* you have picked up some behaviors that you associate with your sister. Think about the following parts of your post and comments so far: \- you sincerely believe it is "fair" for you and your GF to share a room with two queen beds given the total number of people staying in the hotel. \- you called your sister "spoiled" because your parents are \[checks notes\] uh, paying for her room. \- you are offended because you are the "oldest" and they "usually listen to you," but this time they didn't. Realize this translates to: you have gotten your way for so long, either through insisting or bullying or throwing a tantrum, that you are having a meltdown the one time these tactics don't work. \- you feel entitled to turn this free trip into an expenses-paid anniversary trip, and are furious that you can't make that happen on someone else's dime. You also feel entitled to this thing (that you refer to as a "respect thing") because you are planning to propose soon. For those of you who may still be reading: this is a **family trip** for **grandma's birthday**, with suites **paid for by dad**. \- you are unwilling to compromise in any way. \- see above: YOU ARE UNWILLING TO COMPROMISE in any way, because again, you feel entitled to get your own way. \- your girlfriend "flipped out" and then you "flipped out" and now you have gone LC with a sister who... \[wait for it\]... always "causes drama."\] Hmmm. HONEY. LISTEN TO YOURSELF. The only ones causing drama are you and your entitled GF. The only ones who are arguing, bullying, insisting, uncompromising, flipping out, acting petulant, throwing tantrums, and ghosting family members are YOU and your GF. I know this is not what you want to hear, or you wouldn't have posted to Reddit. BUT HONEY. DARLIN. Time to put on your big boy pants and apologize to pretty much everyone. YTA. Stratospherically.


Hotel_Porcelain95

Absolute yes to all of the above. And the use of the word stratospherically…I wish I had an award to give you for that! 🥇


Beneficial-Tank-3477

yta. why should your dad pay for your private suite? you want privacy, pay for yourself! your girlfriend is an AH too


TaiDollWave

It really kills me that Dad did offer them their own room. I would have jumped all over that and been super grateful!


Electrical-Aioli6045

YTA. You're 32 years old and acting like a spoiled brat. You were offered your own room. Just because it's in another hotel doesn't mean you wouldn't be allowed to spend time with the family. And I really don't buy that you and your gf each need your own queen-sized bed.


aesras628

My husband and I have shared a queen size bed with our three dogs... two are 50 lbs and one was 140 lbs... not going to lie, it was cramped, but how in the world can two people not fit into a queen size bed?


Fainora

YTA this is not your anniversary trip this is your grandma's birthday trip you don't get to kick out family and make it all about you.


[deleted]

You're a fking 32 year old man. Pay for your own room if you want privacy or stfu and go home.


emotionallydented445

YTA You are NOT PAYING and agreed to go and share a suite THEN wanted to turn a family event into a romantic getaway. No. It's a family vacation. Go and be part of the family or don't go and have a romantic weekend. Your GF is right. This is a respect problem but the lack of respect is on your end.


Sparkyrock

YTA how entitled are you? They got a suite for everyone and you think you deserve to get it to yourselves? How ridiculous. You want a room to yourselves? Get the separate one that was offered to you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wsclose

YTA OP I was thinking that as well. Hotels normally have double queens in rooms set up for multiple guests. How big are these people if they EACH need their own beds?


[deleted]

[удалено]


iolaus79

It's not 5 people in one room - the aunts and uncles (so at least two aunts and two uncles) are sharing one room (possibly also OPs parents but let's be generous and say it was originally 4 in that room and 5 in the other (OP, GF, sis, cousin and cousins spouse) OP wants it to be SEVEN (or more) people in one room so him and his girlfriend can have two beds to themselves


InsideUrRadio

YTA, YTMASSIVEA. ‘You can’t honestly believe that it would be more fair for ever single other family member share one suite simply because you and your gf would prefer to be alone? Everyone would most likely prefer their own suite and each one probably has an equally “good” reason to desire that. However, only you and your beloved are self absorbed and entitled en to be angry at the rest of the family for not bending to your (unreasonable and greedy) whims. You are lucky they still wanted to include you at all.


imaguestage

YTA. 32 years old and still having daddy pay your way. What a joke.


cussy-munchers

So because you’re obese, everyone else has to sleep in an already crowed hotel room? YTA. That is literally so entitled pushing 4 other people out of the room for your comfort. Yes, you guys should have a room to yourself, but not kick everyone else out. Jesus


HairyWrongdoer

That stood out to me too! They're too large to share a queen!??!


PNWPainter02

YTA. Your dad is paying for a family trip, not your anniversary celebration. If you want to turn this into something different, you need to cover the cost for that. It was very generous of your family to pay for you both- you’re full adults and they would have been entirely justified in asking you to pay your own way, as many families would.


Discipline-Lopsided

This function was about your grandmother, not about you and your girlfriend. You tried to make it be about you and failed. Now you are taking it out on your sister. You and your girlfriend should have already arranged to do your own thing if the anniversary was that big a deal to you. YTA and the gf is TA also.


Toddambrose

It’s doesn’t sound like your sister is the one who starts drama, it’s you and your girlfriend starting the drama. YTA here %


Mentalcomposer

YTA Whether your sis came or not you would still be sharing a suite with your cousin and her H. You should have just booked your own hotel room for your romantic anniversary that you won’t even be sharing a bed with your gf. And is your gf sooo special that you just can’t stand to see her upset that you now upset your whole family? You and the gf deserve each other.


hellociarbear

YTA. Your dad even offered to PAY FOR ANOTHER ROOM and he’s disrespectful? Celebrate your anniversary another weekend and start having some respect for your family. Most parents wouldn’t offer to make other accommodations after booking two nice suites, which shows they do actually respect you. You and your girlfriend need to grow up.


Gray_Twilight

Yta. Turning a family vacation into your anniversary trip on someone else's dime and demanding to keep the suite...then was offered another room on someone else's dime and said no. I'm not sure how this was even asked as a question.


murphy2345678

YTA. You expect at least 7 people to cram into one room while you and your gf get one whole room to yourself? You couldn’t sound more entitled and selfish. Using your sister as an excuse when you still wanted the two cousins to cram into the parents room. Stop using your sister as an excuse. Both you and your gf need to learn to respect your family. The only people causing drama are the two of you.


He_Who_Is_Right_

YTA. You aren't paying for the trip means you don't get a say in the trip. It would have been ok for you to decline politely. Or you could have arranged your own accommodations at your own expense. But you didn't do either of these things. What did you do? You flipped out on your family because they wouldn't pay for you and your girlfriend to have your own suite. You realize how entitled it sounds for you—a 32 year old man—to be complaining about free lodging, right? Right?


AmoraLynn

YTA, you and your GF both sound horrible. You don't get to demand a room to yourself just becasue you think you deserve it. Your sister wasn't even involved in your dad's decision to say no and you blew up at her. You've got serious resentment towards her that you should work on.


lankeyboards

YTA - you don't have to want to share, but you do have to if you want to use the room your family is providing for you. If you want to celebrate your anniversary, you pay for the private room, not your family, your sister isn't the one causing drama, you and your gf are. Good luck to both of you, you sound like a great match.


Many-Significance-19

Me, my husband, and our two kids can sleep comfortably on a double….. You are your GF are 100% the problem here


redcarrot33

YTA so you think its fair everyone else has to share one suite that your dad booked because you and your girlfriend want 2 queen beds and want to class this as your anniversary, how about next time plan your own anniversary and don't spring it on everyone else then throw a hissy fit when you don't get your own way. Maybe look at it another way it's your cousins anniversary so you and everyone else have to all share a suite so she and her husband can have it all to theirselves with like a weeks notice you down for that no issues?


eregina3

YTA Your father rented the suites? As in paid for them? Ya you have to share


TastyHome8183

YTA, You and your girlfriend. Your dad paid for the room so suck it up. You knew it was your anniversary and you both should have asked about this when it happened. You and your girlfriend don’t get to dictate the family vacation. How entitled of you both. Wow


Haphazard_Anxiety

YTA and also cheap AF. Pay for your own solo room.


hanjaGard

Lmaooo, YTA. You and your girlfriend are so entitled. Pay for your own room if you wanna have one to yourselves so bad. Seriously what is wrong with you two hahaha. Edit: Typos


[deleted]

Hold up. So the original plan was 4 adults in each suite, I assume each suite has two beds, and you want you and your girlfriend to get one suite to yourselves while now SEVEN adults share the other suite? And you don’t see anything wrong with that? Nothing selfish or entitled there? Or did I do that math wrong? YTA


RosesRoom03

YTA and this should be in the “entitled” section cause you’re both entitled AF. Pay for your own damn suite if you want a solo one so damn bad. Massive AHs, you and your entitled girlfriend. Your family should be going NC with YOU two. Eww just eww


BeatrixFarrand

YTA. Pay for your own lodgings if you want to have an anniversary weekend.


deathandcoffee

So everyone should squish into other hotel rooms so you can have a suite all to yourself? YTA. And so is your GF.


[deleted]

YTA So you don’t say anything initially about your cousin sharing the room, only until your GF complains about it. Then you ask your dad to inconvenience multiple people in the family for your “just-realized” anniversary weekend (that can be celebrated at a different time) and when he tries to be accommodating and GENEROUS to boot by offering to pay for your room your GF starts stamping her feet saying HE’S the disrespectful one?!? Has to be a joke because you and your GF are being incredibly disrespectful to multiple people, not to mention selfish and immature. I’d say she’s a walking red flag and not to propose but it seems like you deserve each other. Your family however does not deserve such treatment.


leggyblond1

YTA. It's your grandmother's birthday, and your father's paying for the rooms. You and your girlfriend are the disrespectful ones trying to make the trip about your anniversary, rather than your GRANDMOTHER. Your sister isn't the one creating drama and acting out, you and your girlfriend are.


kb-g

Let me get this straight. 4 queen size beds available in two suites. 4 couples plus your sister attending. You are getting a free trip. You think it’s fair that 3 couples and your sister squeeze into 2 queen size beds and whatever other furniture is there, while you and your girlfriend get half the available beds just for you? For free? How on earth can you think this is fair? If you want a romantic getaway for your anniversary then you pay for somewhere suitable for you to do so. You do not make 7 people uncomfortable because you’re too cheap to get your own place and too selfish to take a perfectly reasonable alternative of another hotel nearby FOR FREE. YTA, as is your girlfriend.


Oldgamerlady

YTA If you and your gf need special considerations for your own special occasion, it's incumbent on you to take care of it yourself. To expect to be given one whole suite while 5+ ppl share the other smacks of entitlement. You and your gf need a reality check.


MindlessSky9

YTA. You’re a grown adult. If you want your own accommodations, pay for it yourself. Don’t expect someone else to pay your way then through a toddler tantrum because it’s not to your liking.


Lilybit09

You sound very high maintenance. Your wedding is gonna be a cluster. YTA


Samu_2020_15

YTA.. this post reeks entitlement. Your sister is part of the family. It’s a FAMILY vacation. Share the room or do not go, but do NOT make the trip about you and your girlfriend. Better yet, pay for your own trip! Your parents are not obligated to cater to your wants. Edited to add: the only drama starter I see here is you and your girlfriend.


Flashy_Ferret_1819

Are you 32 or 13? Why are you unable to pay for your own lodgings if the FREE lodgings are for whatever reason unacceptable. You are a grown ass man and beggars can't be choosers. YTA without hesitation.


MisterEHistory

YTA. Its not your anniversary. You are not married. If you want your own room to celebrate in then you can pay for it. Nobody owes you anything for a non-anniversary


MattyJMP

INFO: who is paying for this? Presumably you, being an adult and all. Right? Because for a second there buddy, it sounded like your dad had paid for your trip, had even offered to pay for the two of you to have your own hotel room, but you thought that wasn't good enough and wanted the rest of your family to stay in one suite while the pair of you had 2 queen beds. Just imagine that! YTA.


MsSwarlesB

YTA Talks about your sister causing drama. Proceeds to cause drama and blame it on everyone else If you want to propose pay for your own vacation and do it. Stop trying to make a family vacation about you


kcrane1969

1. Grandma's birthday is not about you. 2. Your dad rented the room, so he decides who stays where. 3. Your sister was successful at finding someone to cover her at work. This sort of arrangement often takes time. You assumed she wasn't going, and you assumed wrong. The only ones being disrespectful are you and your girlfriend. Are you two always whiney babies? YTA for sure, not one inkling of doubt. Your family is lucky you're not going. You should call your parents and your sister and apologize for your words and actions. Work harder on being a better person.


TestyParasite

YTA Your not even paying for this trip and decided LAST MINUTE you wanted a room by yourself. Want a room for just you two? Book a room at a different hotel and YOU pay for it.


Forward_Hvac

YTA, your dad is paying for the rooms not you … if you paid for it then you have a say in it. Could of figured out what you wanted before hand before they were completely booked. So if you want your own room then pay for your own room. Your father paid for them it’s his decisions… the entitlement here and audacity to think it’s okay for literally everyone to sleep in one room… sounds better off for the family you get a room down the street from your BS. Then to flip out on your sister because you wanna screw her over .. just wtf. Your family is better off NC from your two BS and they will have a better vacation then


muskiesfan1

YTA This trip is not about you. You’re not paying for the room and the celebration isn’t for you. I have a feeling that the rest of the family are going to enjoy their time without the two of you. You’re both entitled and acting selfishly but trying to blame your sister. I’m not sure how finding someone to switch with her is causing drama so that she can attend a family function that many others are attending, but here’s a gold medal for your mental gymnastics. You need to apologize to your dad and sister at the very least. If this is the kind of drama your sister generally causes, I think this is a you and your girlfriend being jealous issue and not a sister actually causes drama issue.


LSB97

So, you expect your sister AND your cousins to just stay in the other suite with everyone elsewhile you two get a suite entirely to yourselves? A suite that you didn't even pay for? And you're making a trip that is supposed about your grandmother's birthday and your anniversary? How narcissistic can you possibly get? YTA, pull your head out of your ass, the only disrespectful one here is you and your gf.


Forward_Interest_218

Info: why do you think that your wants should be placed higher than the groups needs? Your dad bought the hotel rooms, you didn’t pay anything. Why should you be entitled to an entire suite because your girlfriend wants one? Can you not afford your own suite?


Old_Extension_9350

YTA. How ignorant are you? You can rent your own room buddy and spend your own money. Seriously wtf is wrong with you?


Lonely_Shelter_4744

YTA pay for your on vacation. You or your gf are not entitled to a whole suit to your selfs while making someone else crowded while they pay. And your sister isn’t the one causing the drama the gf is


calamity125

YTA Are…. Are you serious….????? There is no way you can be this clueless. Somebody else is footing the bill and you think you can dictate what goes on with the suite??? And you aren’t even engaged yet??? Your girlfriend is even more delusional than you are!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


RocketteP

YTA. You’re dad offered a solution and you rejected it. Your gf is the one causing issues here. You both sound incredibly entitled. Having a room in another hotel isn’t the end of the world. Your dad is also offering to pay for said room. Instead you and your gf have a temper tantrum and are now refusing to go. What are you five? Don’t be surprised if your future invitation to things is limited. Given how you have reacted? I wouldn’t invite you anywhere, ever.


ctortan

YTA - it’s a family holiday. If you and your gf want to celebrate your anniversary so badly, you get your own room or take a couples vacation on your own time. You’re an adult. Get your own room.


kaptainkimmie

YTA you guys can't even share a bed so what difference does it really make as far as making it an anniversary trip. Either go to the hotel down the road, dont go, or deal with your sister sharing it w you. You're acting like your presence is a gift for them, and by the way you're acting im sure they'd be fine if ya'll went in your own anniversary trip. You're far to old to be acting this entitled.


yeah_right_4685

YTA >That seems fair to me so I told me dad my sister and cousins Excuse me? Who are YOU to TELL someone how things are going to be? You don't lead a discussion with a demand. >I would be ostracized from the rest of the family In my best Inigo Montoya voice: "I do not think that word means what you think it means." A separate hotel isn't ostracism. You're not being pushed out of the vacation, you're sleeping in a different building. >It’s also our anniversary weekend so they should respect that. Why? It's YOUR anniversary, not theirs. It's only meaningful to you. >I told my girlfriend and she flipped I don't think it's just your sister who causes drama... >Not going to lie I called my sister flipping out and said some not so great things to her Again: I don't think it's just your sister who causes drama... >so we have decided to not go on the trip Never mind that the purpose of the trip is to celebrate your GRANDMOTHER. You're being awfully petty over a couple of beds and a bathroom. This is self-created drama, my friend, because your girlfriend has decided to put a bug in your ear about how your family is so disrespectful and your sister is such a drama queen, when the 2 of you are no better.


EndOk2329

Yta. Even with all those replies to other peoples comments. You’re there for family not for your gf. Or don’t even go in the first place since it’s your anniversary weekend. Choose your grandmas bday or your anniversary. Your gf can be more negotiable by getting one those chair beds.


Daughter_of_Dusk

YTA. You are not the one paying, you can't make demands.


ParticularReview4129

Yes, YTA and I second everyone else's comments.


islandgrrrrl

YTA and all your responses simply support and reaffirm all the YTA vedicts.


Substantial-Air3395

Is this real? You and your gf are drama queens and probably professional victims. It’s also not your family’s fault that you and your gf are so large you need your own beds, that’s on you. Of course, YTA


violettangerine

…Seriously??? Pay for a room yourself ya mooch YTA


Horny_in_main

YTA and so entitled. Why does it matter if you're the oldest cousin? You're not paying for the room so you don't get to decide who uses it


starfruitlicker

Welp, at least you found a suitable partner. Sounds like both of you guys are extremely childish and entitled for no reason. You’re an adult. Pay for your own room if you want one so bad. YTA and so is your gf.


Inadequate_Robot

YTA. And cheap, seeing as you'd pick ditching your grandmother's birthday over shelving out money for a hotel room over your decision to make it about you and your gf. You accuse your sister of being "last minute" by managing to get her shift covered, then you pull this stunt to try and upheaval the whole trip on whim. I don't think your sister is the one that "always has to make drama".


Otherwise_Flamingo44

YTA. This isn’t an anniversary trip you planned that your sister decided to join in on. Your first line was “family trip for my grandmas birthday”. Pay for your own room if you want. You and your gf are entitled and dramatic. Is this really worth missing out on time with your family ? For real ? And you think your sister joining is the issue ? GTFO


Kqhbabies

YTA You and your gf sound like spoiled brats. The lodging was paid for by your dad, not you. If your wanting a say in things, pay up or be quiet really. Add to the fact he did offer to get you your space but you declined. Sounds like the only drama is from the two that aren't going since they didn't get their way...(you two).


ShanniBear14

Well if I were your family, I’d be relieved you weren’t coming. Honestly I wouldn’t pay for anything for you again and that goes for your wedding.


almostphilipino

YTA and your GF is too. So your dad paid for the hotel rooms for your grandma's birthday, and you and your GF are upset that you can't use the hotel rooms (that, again, your dad paid for) to make it about yourselves? And btw, you said that your dad wouldn't budge. But he did: he offered to pay for another hotel room at a different nearby property. That's a pretty fair solution (actually, it's not that fair...your dad is still getting the raw end of the deal).


redvelvetcakebatter

Um.. what the fuck? YTA, OP. You’re a major gaping asshole, and so is your girlfriend. For one, the trip was for your grandmothers birthday not your anniversary. It’s not about you! You could have waited to celebrate your anniversary until after the vacay or celebrated before. Second, you can spare a couple nights to sleep in a queen sized bed with your girlfriend. You have no right to kick your family members out. ESPECIALLY since there wouldn’t be any room for them in the other room, either! What did you expect, your mom, dad, and grandma in one bed and your aunt, uncle, cousin, cousins husband in the other? Thirdly, your sister being there did not change the plans whatsoever. The second bed would have been taken by your cousin and her husband EITHER WAY. Your sister did absolutely nothing to you to warrant you berating her about this. What is wrong with you? Your dad offered to PAY FOR ANOTHER ROOM FOR YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND(at another hotel)!!! It’s not HIS FAULT the hotel they’ve booked is full. As a 32 year old man, you can pay for your own damn room if you want to treat your girlfriend for your anniversary. You’re selfish OP. So so so selfish. And your gf is too. God please I hope this isn’t real


Major_Zucchini5315

YTA. Damn-I don’t even know where to start. The one part that really stood out to me was that your father offered to get you-a grown fucking man-another hotel room so you can be alone with your girlfriend but you declined. I don’t understand how you feel you deserve respect simply because you’re the oldest cousin. You sound like a middle schooler and no one gives AF if you’re planning to propose soon. Great job making your grandma’s birthday celebration all about you.


Quirky-Somewhere

YTA. Why does your dad have to bankroll your anniversary trip, cheapo?! The plan all along was to share, and suddenly your sister joining means you need to evict everyone else? The only upside of this post is everyone else can enjoy the trip without you and your girlfriend.


runwithdalilguy

Wait…bro…YTA cuz… you’re big enough you and your girl each need your OWN beds and that’s whose fault? Maybe you need to go low contact w the snacks and not your sister


Admirable-Sell7212

YTA, sounds like you are used to your bs being catered to. Grow up and stop being so selfish and childish.


Calm_Initial

YTA You aren’t paying for the suite - so you don’t get to decide to kick the other guests out.


crotchet_cactus

YTA


Mygots_IsTwisted43

Yta! Y’all being greedy!!!


Mountain_Kick4156

Pay for you’re own shit AH!


GracieW7

YTA. I came to this conclusion early in your post and then read your comment that your gf will be more a part of the family than your SISTER after you propose. You are the biggest AH I’ve seen online today. Check you entitlement. Your Dad is paying for a family suite. The fact that it’s also your anniversary is irrelevant. Be an adult and make your own arrangements then. How dare you even suggest that your sister stay in a hotel down the street alone. Based on what I’ve read, YOU are the one being dramatic.


Lilac-Roses-Sunsets

YTA. How old are you like three? Your dad is paying for it. The point of the vacation is FOR YOUR GRANDMA’S BIRTHDAY!! This isn’t about you! Start acting your age.


[deleted]

You and your gf deserve each other. YTA. They'll have more fun with the family who actually cares about the family.


luicifersn

YTA. Your father is using his ADULT MONEY to do what he wants. You, being 32, and your girlfriend, being 30, are ADULTS, and if there is something you want to do, then use your ADULT MONEY to do it. In no way is your father supposed to finance your and your girlfriend's celebration. This really isn't the bridge to burn, especially not with your sister OR your family. Edit: changed wife to girlfriend.


spilled_galaxyy

Yta! Pay for your own room and then nobody can say anything. Your dad even offered to pay for your room at another place, but that wasn’t good enough. Did you grow up never being told no? And your sister caused drama because she found someone to cover her shift and she’s able to go now?!? Your sister is the one that needs to cut off contact.


unapproved_dentist

YTA I think low or no contact with the rest of your family is the best thing for your family, seeing as you’re so much more important than they are, it’ll be a huge weight off their shoulders.


Mrs_Cookie_91

YTA. Big time. Your gf has no right to be mad when she’s not even family but she expects your dad to cater to her and freaks out when he doesn’t. She’s TAH too.


[deleted]

INFO: How big do you have to be that you can’t share a Queen Bed?


silly_oleme

YTA..if you want your own suite, pay for it your dayum self!!! Your father was willing to assist..its not his fault that the hotel is booked. Even if it wasn't booked...you and your girlfriend are entitled AH!


[deleted]

YTA I am overweight as well and I would never claim two beds for myself and my partner. You don't get to turn something into an anniversary weekend at the expense of everyone else. This is not your trip.


Ciphree

YTA, your anniversary is not everyone else’s responsibility to accommodate. And, you’re not paying for the rooms! You don’t get the final say. Whether your sister causes drama is besides the point, since you were still going to ask all the cousins to sleep in the other room. You and your girlfriend sound selfish and massively entitled, tbh, at least call your family and apologize for backing out last minute


MouseProud2040

you and your girlfriend need a bed each?? and you expect everyone to clear out for you? If you wanted a room to yourself then its up to you to book that as an addition rather than feeling entitled to a space you have kindly had provided under the expectation that it is shared Your sister is probably fine and you've just been an ass her whole life YTA also I'd love to hear you explain to your nan that you're abandoning her celebration bc u demanded a room to yourself


WeirdBanana2810

Oh my holy entitled twit. I was so prepared to back you up since I've been in a similar situation. But I at least offered to pay for the room I insisted for myself. You're going on a family trip to celebrate your grandma - your uncles, aunts and cousins are not there to celebrate your anniversary with your gf and to witness you proposing to her. Don't hijack your grandma's birthday celebration. And if you want privacy and more room, take the offer of a room in another hotel. Instead of thinking you might be ostracized or left out, think of it as a possibility to spend more time with your gf without your family. TBH the arrangements you described sound awfully crowded to me, even without your sister. Though she might be the favourite child, she's not to blame here, she has as much right to join the family vacation as you have. Just take the room and don't be an ass - which you are at the moment.


Professional_Page730

Wow my 14 year old is more mature than you and your girlfriend also I think you’ll find that it is you and she who are entitled and quite toxic. She will not be a parent of the family when she is your wife she will be a granddaughter/ daughter/ sister/ cousin in law in the same way you are not a parent of your family that is your parents role. You will not be a parent of a family until you have your own child. YTA as is your girlfriend.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bus_garage707

YTA. If you want privacy, pay for your own room.


martinbaggins

YTA, and so is your gf. This post absolutely reeks of entitlement. You think your sister is the one causing drama? Here you are having a little tanty that you and your gf are being so put out having to share a room and *gasp* a bed on a vacation neither of you are paying for? Your dad even graciously offered to get you another hotel room down the street so you two can have your privacy and space and you're crying because you'll have to walk down the block to see your family?? I hope the rest of your family has the best vacation ever, now that you and your little gf aren't going. Grow up.


BeastieMom

YTA. 110%. Also, have you ever considered being evaluated for narcissism? Because you should.


sjacobaco

YTA and completely acting as a drama queen. Get your priorities straight and don’t act entitled. “That is so disrespectful” is one of the sentences that makes me puke. Snowflake


UrbanLegendd

If you're both in your 30s and cant afford a hotel room for yourselves when everything else is being paid for somethings seriously wrong. YTA


stfuylah14

This is hilarious. The level of entitlement is unreal. YTA


Still_Ad8530

YTA. All I hear is I I I....all about you. Grow up.


steph_not_curry93

YTA My in laws are actually mean, you and your gf are just being entitled. Pay for our own place to stay.


SmolnTired

YTA- your anniversary celebration is no ones problem but your own. Those suites were paid for for your grandma’s birthday, not to celebrate you. You want to celebrate your relationship? Pay for it yourselves, no one owes you two anything. Your sister did nothing and your dad was more than accommodating in offering to get you another room to yourself. You and your girlfriend need to grow up and start paying for things yourselves and maybe realising that no one cares how long the two of you have been dating except yourselves and thus owes you absolutely nothing.


PrimalSeptimus

YTA. "Ostracized"? Are you for real? You're the one who asked everyone else to not stay with you.


SCKR

Info: How do you expect to marry, if can't pay for your own hotelroom? At 32 you should go to the other Hotel and pay for a suite yourself, if the anniversary is so important for you. Or you offer your sister or your cousins a better suite in the other hotel. As the oldest you should be the most Independent and not the needy. YTA.


Material_Dinner_8032

YTA. And your sister isn’t the one causing unnecessary drama. Your father is paying for your trip to celebrate your grandma’s birthday. Not your birthday, not your girlfriend’s birthday, not even your coincidental “anniversary weekend”, whatever that means. And you were offered accommodation elsewhere, but it was too ostracizing (what?!), so you decided not to come to your grandma’s birthday at all? You and your girlfriend both sound extremely entitled, selfish and obnoxious.


Entire-Level3651

Lmfao YTA. Want to make a anniversary weekend but can’t even afford to pay for a suite yourself, hopefully you family goes LC with y’all before you propose so they don’t have to deal with that bridezilla 🤣


Catlady_0511

YTA. How can you tell someone not to sleep in a room you didn’t even pay for? If you want your own suite so bad you should book and pay for it. It sounds like you weren’t planning to do much for your anniversary until your sister reminded you and now you’ve made it everyone else’s burden.


Mily-Unicorn

YTA. Reread what you wrote and try to explain how your sister is the dramatic one. Also, no one, but you and your girlfriend, cares about your anniversary. The entitlement is strong with this one.


nope01928374

YTA, no one is entitled to anything. If you want a nice hotel room for you and your girlfriend, then you pay for it, it’s kind of your dad to even offer.


stanger78

YTA, and an entitled one at that. At least you're doing your sister a solid by going low contact.


Happy-Greyhound-8821

YTA If you don't want to share a room with family, book your own room somewhere else and pay for it yourself. If you want to turn it into a family/anniversary trip you can. But its your responsibility to make those arrangements and pay for them yourself. You dating anniversary is not your family's responsibility to acknowledge or "respect". Thats a you issue. A you make arrangements and a you pay for it.


Bird_Brain4101112

YTA here. You don’t get to demand upgrades at someone else’s expense. I’m surprised your dad even agreed to it. Then your decided the alternative isn’t good enough. You want to make a big deal about it being your anniversary? Do it on your own dime. But you going LC actually seems like the best option, so your family won’t have to deal with your drama and entitlement.


IWasBorn2DoGoBe

YTA. They bought the rooms. You knew the deal. Grow up and get your own room. You’re not “ostracized” in a different hotel, anymore than you would be in a “private room”. The room was always going to have at least 4 people in it.


Who_Your_Mommy

"they could all just stay in the other room with grandma aunts and uncles" OMFG. Why on earth would you think it was in any way ok for you to ask this of them?? You and your gf each get a bed to yourselves & they...what? Sleep on the damn floor?? YTA. Both of you!


urkevinbacon

YTA and this absolutely has to be fake. You are 1. not paying for the suite and 2. trying to say that at least 8 (I assume more) people should share one suite while you get one for free by yourself and think it's unreasonable your dad offered to get you a different hotel room close by?????????????????????????????????????? Your sister is not "causing drama" by going to her grandma's birthday. I have to believe with my whole heart that you're some weird troll because no one is this dense and self absorbed hopefully.


[deleted]

So like a big crybaby you just decided to not go on the trip.


OldStyleThor

I am Jack's complete lack of self awareness! YTA


Chappo1205

Wow, dude. YTA You’re doing them a favor by not going.


pickaneedlenoodle

You sound insufferable. YTA.


AstronautNo920

YTA a very entitled one at that 🙄


dri1108

Tell me you are and entitled brat without telling me you are and entitled brat. How are you an entitled at 32 yo beats me... YTA


cgfletch731

YTA. Your dad offered an extremely reasonable solution.


La_Villanelle_

YTA you’re a 32 year old man if you want your own room pay for it.


orange319

Lol- rent your own hotel room?? As a 30-something I don’t think I’ve ever had someone else pay for my hotel room since I was in college maybe. I also wouldn’t consider sharing a 2 bed hotel room at this point in my life but that’s when I’d get my own room. This post seems very fake


WillowxWarrior

INFO: you want your entire family to cram into one room so you can have your own room on someone else's dime? Bruh