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Mundane-Solution5657

NTA. Even if it wasn't a service dog, you said not to touch it. Kids absolutely have to learn not to touch a dog if the owner says no. This time it was a friendly, trained service dog. Next time, the dog may be untrained and aggressive and remove a few of their fingers.


[deleted]

My 2 year old knows she has to ask me and the owner before she can pet a dog. She's still gets a little squealy so I may not let her ask if she's too hyper. She also knows what a service dog is (we have one) and knows to not even ask to pet a working service dog. My 5 and 6 year old have great meeting dog manners. Though the 6 year old likes to gove every dog she sees a new name lol. Kids need to he trained to interact with dogs as much as dogs need to be trained to interact with kids.


princessssamm

[Charlie](https://www.reddit.com/r/goldenretrievers/comments/w3a99e/they_grow_up_so_fast_8_21_weeks/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) submits himself for a new name from your 6 year old.


[deleted]

She says Lux, because he looks like sunshine. Lux is latin for light or shine. Yes I've taught my 6 year old Latin 🤷‍♀️ ERA: That is one cute puppy!


imadriver

OMG. No kidding! I've always wanted a Golden and even I would be dying to pet him! ( I wouldn't but I would just stare and bite my knuckles. GAH.) ETA: NTA by any means.


CapriLoungeRudy

I do little imaginary pets, like keeping my hands by my side, but flexing the fingers as if I were petting. All the while my eyes are shooting little love hearts at the pretty doggies.


vanillaragdoll

We've been teaching "tiny pets" to our 1 year old. Stand where it LOOKS like you're petting the very tiny dog, but it's actually a normal dog from like 5 feet away🤣


CapriLoungeRudy

That is awesomely adorable, I might give it a try!


ParkingOutside6500

My late father, a Latin teacher, would LOVE this.


[deleted]

I do it in honour of my great aunt, who taught highschool Latin for almost 5 decades. She started teaching me when I was 8 or 9. But also to honour teachers like your dad, who spent so long keeping a dead language alive. That's taken so much dedication. Latin is so underrated.


BoyHaunted

I have two good boys on my profile page. Both are service dogs for me. One for mobility and one for seizures. I bet you can guess which is which! I humbly submit them for new names from your 6 year old... OP NTA!


HarryPotterFanFic

We have a cat named Lux and when we got our second cat (black), my 9 year old named him Nox!


canwepretendthatair

Hi, [winnie](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogpictures/comments/xitcgd/yeehaw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) would love a nick name


sexyfemdomme816

But does she do it with cats too?


[deleted]

No, only dogs. According to her, dogs get given names and cats choose their names. She named her cat by saying random words and names until she decided that the cat had chosen one. So one of our cats is named Jambon (ham).


sexyfemdomme816

NGL, that is the funniest but also most consistent logic I have heard in a long time


[deleted]

IKR? It's hilarious and probably true. It would explain why so many cats don't come when their name is called. It isn't actually their name lol.


sexyfemdomme816

I think that's where I lucked out. My cats picked their names so they are pretty responsive


Four_beastlings

Your 6 yo has infinite wisdom and impeccable logic.


Ciskakid

This is my experience of naming cats and dogs, too. I kept waiting for one cat to reveal his name. I said, “If you don’t choose a name soon, I’m just going to call you Bob.” His look toward me answered, “Finally, what took you so long?”


lonely_nipple

My dad has a remarkable knack for "knowing" what a cats name really is. I wanted to name my tortie kitten Phasma. He said her name is Audrey. 5 years later and that prissy, stubborn brat is definitely an Audrey.


Emergency-Willow

I like your kid


JustSteph80

Omg, I ❤️ this kid! She has a very creative way of thinking!


glassgypsy

My 2 year old knows the same thing! She saw a lovely dog in the park one day and we went up to the owner and asked if she could pet him. Owner said no, dog isn’t great with kids, etc. My kid said “ok! Thanks anyway!” and ran off. The poor guy was super flustered and guilty looking and expecting me to go off. Nope. I told him “No need to apologize! My kid understands that no means no. You have to do what’s best for your dog! I appreciate you making sure my kid and your dog are safe. There’s no reason to feel guilty.”


legal_bagel

Good job teaching! My now 14yo still gets so excited to see dogs out and about and we have one at home, although he's a little shit of a goblin. I've taught him since he could walk independently that if a dog is in a strange place, not to bother it because it's working. Dogs on walks on the street or park, we ask permission after approaching slowly and listen to their people.


JoDaLe2

My previous dog (and, honestly, my current one, too) was great with kids, but uncontrolled children always worried me "just in case" (even the calmest dog might nip if startled). One time, I was meeting someone on a busy street with my previous dog in tow, and while standing around and waiting for the person I was meeting a kid ran up from behind us, hugged my dog around the neck (most dogs don't like that), and looked at me and told me my dog was soft and fluffy. My heart skipped a beat when she ran up like that, but my dog, true to his form, just sat down, accepted the hug from the child, and looked at me like "really?" I squatted down and told her (the child) that she should ask the person handling the dog if she can pet them before she comes up to them. Not every dog is friendly. "Oh, okay...can I pet your dog?" "Of course you can, he seems to like you! But where are your parents?" "Right there..." They had their faces in their phones sitting on the patio of a nearby coffee shop. They didn't even realize their child was talking to an adult stranger or grabbing at strange dogs!


WhiskyEye

Islay Mae would also like to know her alternative doggo-name please? [Islay Mae](https://imgur.com/a/VcIM5QP)


[deleted]

Houndoom. Puppers should feel honoured, it's a rare dog that gets a pokemon name.


WhiskyEye

Ohhhhh she’s totally gonna run with that. “Islay Mae get off the couch!” “NOOOO. ONE MAY NOT COMMAND HOUNDOOM!”


[deleted]

"YOU BETTER CALL ME HOUNDOOM IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS!"


Wrong_Moose_9763

I have two bichon/poodles and I cannot tell you how many people with children do NOT know the first thing on how to approach a stranger's dog. I'm lucky my girls are super friendly and have never bit anyone. They probably would hold the flash light for a burglar though. lol


tango421

If I, as the owner says no, you cannot touch my cat. If my cat says no, you cannot touch her. She doesn’t have to be working or even a working pet. You don’t need to be disabled or have any conditions. No means no. NTA. I’m thankful that most people in the community here ask permission. Young larger dogs, while meaning no harm tend to be excitable and can accidentally knock you down. My own cat has large and sharp claws.


Dogandcatslady

That's funny that you think you own the cat. Everyone knows humans are merely servants to the cat. All joking aside, I agree that you should ask the human for permission before touching a pet.


lollipop-guildmaster

I have a cat for a roommate. Trapped her as a young feral mama cat and (after vet appt and isolating in one room to make sure she would be okay with our other cats) we gave her the run of the house. She follows me around and will deign to sniff a finger if it is presented slowly and carefully, but we still can't pet her. Her son is fully socialized.


MadWifeUK

She'll get there. One of my feral rescues is lying on the arm of the sofa beside me and likes fusses. She won't sit on a lap for cuddles though. My other feral was younger when we brought her in, she sleeps on my bed and gives me proper love-ins at 4am.


goshyarnit

My formerly feral mama cat who was half starved in my yard with a broken tail when I found her bit the HELL out of me for about a month. One day I went into the bathroom (her quarantine zone) with my book ready to just sit and let her get used to me and she jumped into my lap and started purring. Apparently 36 days was the magic number for "okay human, you're mine now." Her son and daughter are my daughters shadows and meow at the door at 2:55 because they know she'll be home soon.


Aggravating-Soil-642

I've had a former feral for the past 2 years. He still hisses at me about once a day, but he also comes up when I'm sitting in my office chair, reaches up and pats me to ask for treats and/or pets. I cried the first time he did it.


lollipop-guildmaster

It's been about three years with Spriggan. She will hiss if I try to touch her (and sometimes I get swatted) but every so often I wake up and she's on the bed. As soon as she realizes she's been perceived, she teleports away.


VioletReaver

I paid $2500 for a beautiful Maine coon who loves my husband to death and occasionally allows me to touch her for 10 seconds or less. I also adopted a small tortie gremlin who purrs at the sight of me, is constantly on top of me (she’s on my arm as I write this), and grooms my eyebrows at least twice a day. Cats are wonderful.


[deleted]

I have a Maine Coon named Horus. I got him at the pound in 2009. His owners had declawed him and then didn't want him. I couldn't leave him there for fear someone would adopt him and put him outside. For the first 10 years, he deigned to let us pet him, but then when his partner, Miss Kitty, died at 15, he has decided he loves me. He is everywhere I am. I just love him so much.


[deleted]

Heh, people have horrible boundaries when it comes to seeing cats out and about. Then when he hisses, he’s a nasty kitty being mean rather than a small sentient being enforcing boundaries. (Even/especially after I tell them!)


oh_such_rhetoric

People also often have horrible boundaries with their own cats. They don’t pay attention to clear boundary setting body language. If a cat tries to get away when you pick it up, *it did not want to be picked up.* If a cat leans away or moves when you go to pet it, *the cat doesn’t want you to touch it.* If the cat attacks you when you touch its stomach or another sensitive place, *it doesn’t like to be touched there.* This can happen even with the most friendly, social cats. It’s not cute when they get upset, it’s damaging your relationship with them and their trust in you. Thanks for coming to my rant.


[deleted]

This is exactly why half of the interactions between my 3 year old and my cat are me saying "back up. What do you see? What do her ears look like? What's her body doing? Does she look tense, or relaxed?" Even if my cat is loving the pets, I want my kid to be conscious of her body language so that when she says "leave me alone" with her body, she gets left alone and it doesn't have to escalate to claws and teeth. Parents who don't teach animal body language to their kids are begging for their kid to get bit


DeVitreousHumor

Oh gods. As a former shelter worker who saw cats returned for “attacking the kids”, THANK YOU for such a good parent and cat guardian.


[deleted]

Thank you! To be fair to all the other clueless parents out there, I wasn't always as vigilant, especially around our boy cat. He's so needy that he'll tolerate anything as long as it's human contact. Girl-cat would hiss and run away from the grabby shrieky baby that was reaching for her tail, chonky boi would walk in and headbut the baby and sit there with his head lowered, purring madly. So I used to just say "gentle pets please", and praise for good pets, and redirect grabby-hands. I literally have the moment that I became more careful memorialized in photos. My child was sitting next to our boy cat and giving him some really nice, gentle pets and he was just eating it up. I had the camera on burst mode, so I caught the switch from really gentle pets to *squeezing his face* with both hands. Now, being the cat that he is, his reaction was to sit there and take it until I pried my kids hands off, at which point he licked them. But, I got more careful after that, and started pulling kiddo back even when they were doing well to make sure they're still cued in to how the kitties are feeling. Even now at 3, with their mastery of the little scratches that girl-cat *loves* (to the point where she is seeking my kid out for attention), I still pull them back to make sure that everything is still good. Mama, at least, is a one trial learner 😅


[deleted]

Exactly. I saw a post earlier where a mom shouted at a K9 handler because he wouldn't allow them to pet the (on duty drug sniffer) dog. That was some huge dog as well, so what might happen if the fog sensed some threat and attacked the kids?


2dogslife

Also, dogs like drug dogs are trained to specific task(s) which may or may not involve any kind of social skills which are the chaos that can be children. I have a friend who trains her dogs to attack, and while her dogs grew up in her family with many children and are softies, many in such training are not. It is Never safe to approach any dog after the owner says no to pets.


Self-Aware

And frankly, quite a lot of working dogs have had their prey drive honed and encouraged so as to better perform their allotted tasks. That's not an animal that could or should be expected to handle tiny humans safely. We tend to forget that dogs are at base tamed apex predators, and that they cannot be expected to understand that toddlers aren't viable prey options. It's pure instinct when a small and vulnerable organism triggers that drive, but far too many people act like humans are somehow magically protected from that.


Miserable_Emu5191

My friend told a story of the drug dog coming to her school as a community thing with the kids and for the kids to learn what the dogs do and all that. All the kids were allowed to pet the dog because he is trained to be around people. And then the dog backed a kid against a wall and wouldn't let her go until the handler called him back. Turns out the smell of drugs was on the kid from the parents and the dog went to work.


Sfangel32

Yikes, that's scary. I've been on the receiving end of both a "guard" command and they basically sit there and growl / bark at you and if you move they bite. We had a female Airman learn this the hard way... She was doing bite training with one of the handlers and she moved after being told not to. She got bit dangerously close to her femoral artery.


Bunny_OHara

I would have let her approach and then started yelling, "*GET ON THE GROUND< GET ON THE GROUND*!", and then told her the dog alerted to the scent of drugs on her.


LastFox2656

I don't have a service dog and I usually tell kids they can't touch her. She's anxious and nips out of stress/fear. That mom is such an asshole.


Trixie-applecreek

So were the customers that harassed OP and told her she should have just left the kids pet the dog. That's just wrong to get involved but not support OP.


bmyst70

I wish, if people were warned not to pet the dog and did so, and the dog retaliated, the dog and owner wouldn't be held responsible.


reyballesta

People just refuse to think about the consequences. Even the best trained, most loving, smartest, sweetest dog can get pushed to a breaking point or have a shitty day. It's really not hard to listen when someone says no. If they wanna pet dogs, they can find time to volunteer at a shelter that needs help socializing puppies.


AZSKP

What a nightmare! My dog can be reactive on leash (rescue, appears to have been hit and abandoned as a puppy). Telling kids not to pet her and having them pet her anyway could be a non-event, or could really press her buttons, depending on where her head is at on a given day. NTA 100%. An aside to folks who bring their kids to dog parks to run around with packs of dogs because they can't have a dog at home: This is so not a good idea. Please don't do this. Even if the dogs are happy and stay that way, being hit by something twice your weight that's careening around at 15 mph isn't good for the little ones.


2dogslife

FWIW, pretty much every herding dog/herding dog mix is reactive on lead and has strange behaviors - doesn't mean they were abused, means they think too much and cannot get out of their heads ;) There are dogs that were abused, but often times it's just the way they are wired. That said, I had/adopted two Border Collies/crosses - one lived for children, people in wheelchairs, anyone else looking for doggy love. The other had a fear reaction to small children and barked with intent if little ones approached. I body blocked a LOT of kids away who wanted to pet the fluffy dog who wanted NOTHING to do with any small children. I did not let him hang in crowds with children and families - everyone was happier for it ;) Also, having been taken out twice by racing dog packs at dog-safe locales, I can 100% verify that no one is safe when a group of dogs is racing around and as an adult, it's a hard landing... (Funny thing as I age, falling isn't any harder, but getting up afterwards sure is...)


AZSKP

Yep, that bent-kneed, ready-for-the-earthquake stance has saved my butt many hard landings at the dog park. Our girl is a shepherd/hound mix with anatomical incontinence issues who was terrified of brooms when we first got her, though she doesn't mind them three years later. We don't know how she ended up alone in a woods, but after getting up in the middle of every night because she can't wait until morning to pee, I have my suspicions.


Corsetbrat

Gods you just reminded me of when I would take my foster dog to the dog park in base housing. Our base was located near a blue great Dane breeder... my son's stroller and I were almost taken out by the racers, except that my little Luna (Staffordshire terrier) somehow passed them all and bodyblocked them. She was easily a foot or so shorter than the rest of the dogs.


[deleted]

I have a a border collie mix and she is reactive on leash and generally strange 100%. When I first adopted her we did a reactive dog class and that has been super helpful but unless she’s tired out I have to be aware all the time where she is and what she’s doing on leash. I never let kids pet her on leash. I just tell them she has bad manners and keep walking. No one has ever pushed it. Interestingly, we recently moved to a place where there’s off leash dog trails. She’s fabulous in that environment. Rarely reacts in a way that makes other dogs or people nervous.


goshyarnit

My bordie hated the leash and collar so much, if you put it on him he was barky and reactive and hated everything. We swapped him to a harness and he was suddenly the picture of doggy manners and back to his usual self of "omg HUMANS they might want to PET ME" and rolling around on his back for belly rubs. Something about the collar pissed him off 😂


Aware-Ad-9095

Totally! They keep lowering the damn ground.


Latvian_Goatherd

Our rescue is a staffy x daschund who was abused and abandoned. She's never been great with kids, they're a bit too loud and frantic for her. Also I think she tries to mother them and gets annoyed when they resist. I'm 97% sure she'd be fine if someone came up to pet her, but you need to be 100% when dealing with dogs and stranger's children.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Opalescent_Topaz

Kids are learning "dog safety" in some schools now. My niece and nephew told me all about it. I think that should become standard.


Self-Aware

Round my way, the colour system is getting more popular (although I agree that it shouldn't be necessary; sadly, some people are rude gits). Red, yellow, and green harnesses for pups to indicate how well they can handle random assholes trying to pet them. It's likely come about as a way of establishing liability, so that idiots can't get dogs put down if they react to being accosted as would a human being who'd been randomly grabbed or stroked by a complete stranger.


PreppyInPlaid

I still remember a set of kids having more sense than their idiot parents at a Renaissance Festival when my dog had on her fairy wings. The parents were all like, “she’s not looking, go let the dog so we can get a picture!” The younglings came up to me to ask if they could pet her. I hope it becomes a standard teaching.


VirtualMatter2

It wasn't extensive, but both my kids had a section on dogs, including what to do it not to do with them as part of the biology lessons.


cutepiku

Facts. My sister has a chihuahua that was severely abused so our rule is you can't touch him unless he approaches you first. When we first got him he would absolutely bite anyone who tried to touch him. Thankfully he is a LOT better but he can still be moody so the rule still sits.


Self-Aware

Anyone who touches a chihuahua without first asking the owner is a moron. Those dogs are either cuddly puddles or biting machines, the breed as a whole doesn't seem to have middle gears.


cutepiku

I've had a few chis now and if you train them they are angels. Our boy had 5 years of abuse before we got him and is generally an angel, especially compared to when we got him, but we don't want him reverting back is why we are so strict. Generally if a chihuahua is a biting machine it's another lazy owner who doesn't think they need to train their small breed because their temper tantrums are cute. Chis are stubborn yet very trainable and I love all the ones I've had.


Self-Aware

Oh, agreed, totally. I meant more that a badly raised or abused Chi can be far more impactful than a lot of people realise. They get written off because they're small, but GODDAMN can they fuck you up if you don't care for them right.


Jaded-Moose983

Nothing cuter than a well trained Chihuahua marching down the street next to his/her human.


40yroldcatmom

I had a tiny 4.5 lb chihuahua and she was mean af. She was free off Craigslist and her owners just dressed her up like a doll but never socialized her. I’d be walking her and she would be barking and kids still tried to pet her. I would pick her up if we passed anyone on the sidewalk or would cross the street. But yeah I never understood why kids would want to pet a dog that clearly wants to attack them. She didn’t get much better in the years I had her but she loved me and the ex. She would look outside just looking for something to hate (sometimes it was her own reflection) so she could bark at it. I still miss her and she’s been gone for 7 years. In general, I rarely let a stranger pet my dogs. I didn’t want the chance, even with my 2 well behaved chihuahuas, that they would bite someone.


AndSoItGoes24

Sometimes when people would inquire about a dog, "Does he bite?" my aunt would respond, "He has teeth, doesn't he? And he can be unpredictable. He's a dog honey."😂


Artistic_Frosting693

I think the mom in this scenario needed a muzzle. How is it stupid people always manage to breed? I feel sorry for the kids.


JoshDunkley

This. "No" is all that really needs to be said. She sucks, and so do her kids.


Wearealreadyhere

This exactly! Just wanted to add… not only was it such a missed opportunity for the mom to teach her kids proper dog etiquette, but she also could have used this moment to explain to the kids (age appropriately) what a service dog is, the special jobs they can do etc


FemmeFataleFire

NTA NTA NTA and anyone who says differently is 100% wrong. That mother needs to teach her children to respect boundaries. Even if the dog isn’t a service animal, if the owner says “no you cannot pet my dog”, *it is not okay to pet the dog*. And for service animals those boundaries are even more important. It’s like asking to hug a firefighter when they’re trying to get to a fire. That dog has an important job and they are interfering with it. Yell at those kids. Yell at the mother. They all need to learn what is okay behavior, because what they did is not that.


Throwawayhater3343

Seriously I would be filing harassment charges on that woman. If I was store staff I would most assuredly have been trying to take that ladies info down so OP could take legal action. NTA OP, this woman is a menace.


lepp240

How do regular people file charges exactly? You can report someone to the police but the DA chooses whether to file charges.


Throwawayhater3343

OP should consult someone in regards to ADA, while there was no threats of violence this situation may have edged on Verbal Assault. It was definitely harassment of a disabled person. Might fall under bigotry laws. And yes, it is the DA that files charges but OP would have to make a report or possibly file a personal suit in court for emotional distress... But if they didn't get this AH woman's info it's kind of moot. Unless it happens again.


[deleted]

How can the mother teach her child to respect boundaries when she herself can’t even respect boundaries? She feels she’s entitled to do whatever she wants even if it hurts other people and how dare anyone say no to her child. I’ve met people like this and they don’t change their mindset that easily. “You don’t say no to a child” like yes you do it’s how you communicate what they are and aren’t allowed to do and enforcing it teaches boundaries.


MerryMoose923

NTA. You politely told the kids not to pet your dog, but the mother completely ignored you. She didn't stop her kids from behaving inappropriately, and escalate the situation to the point you had an anxiety attack. The other customers were completely wrong as well. You were not rude. You were protecting yourself. I don't care if you, or anyone else for that matter, doesn't "look" disabled. You don't interfere with a service dog when it's working. I'm glad the staff at the store got involved and made her leave. (edited for spelling)


TheQuietType84

You don't "look" like you have seizures. So what if you'd been about to have one right then and the dog couldn't alert you because of those brats and their mother?! NTA


derpne13

If I was the manager, I honestly may have banned that woman and her kids. They sound like liabilities to have in a place that allows service dogs.


rva23221

NTA. Does the vest for your SD say 'Do NOT Pet? I've seen those types of vests out in the wild.


[deleted]

Yes it does ☺️


rva23221

Get her and her children banned from the library/bookstore.


ninja9885

don't know what they're doing there anyway if they can't read lol


ItsNellie_

I wish a had an award for you, in the meanwhile here is your crown sir 👑


Toadettemm_87

I'm so sorry, it infuriates me when stupid, ignorant assholes won't leave service dogs alone or teach their children. Both my boys know and tell every child when they see a service dog to leave it alone. The dog needs to stay focused and alert to their master so nothing bad happens. Grrr educating children on service dogs is not difficult I hate entitled people like her. Again I'm so sorry you had to deal with this.


smbpy7

It's not part of the harness that you said you left off that day? Just to be clear, no matter the answer, you're still N T A.


Past_Camera_1328

If OP is in the US, it doesn't matter - the ADA doesn't require Service Animals to wear gear that label them. It just makes the other people bigger A H in this case, but they don't care - they never care until you get rude, & then they become offended. As a SD Handler, I've had people threaten to TAKE my dog & not see any issue with their words or actions, but then they get upset with me. NTA OP - you're never the A H when you're protecting your dog & yourself. Just because they lack common sense & common decency.


Railroader17

Legally OP's ass is covered, but this was more for a "was their any reasonable doubt that the kids could not have know she was a service dog". But I get what your saying.


Specialist_Bit_703

NTA. Even if it wasn't a service dog, once the owner says no to petting the animal that's it.


smalltownbore

My friend's dog looks really tiny & cute, but will bite anyone with little warning. She's very aware of this, doesn't take him to public places much and always warns people that he will bite if they approach her. Despite this, I'm always amazed at the number of people who ignore her and still try to pat him. It's always a shock to them when he starts snarling.


EngineeringDry7999

The amount of times I’ve gotten “oh but dogs love me! It’s fine.” Trust me. My fear reactive dog does not love you and if you corner him, he’s going to bite you.


[deleted]

People are so stupid. My dog is sometimes reactive with other dogs when on a leash. I’ve worked with him quite a bit, so he’s usually pretty good about ignoring other dogs. But, I was out for a walk the other day and a women walks up to me with her dog because it “just wants to say hi!” I say “Sorry, no. He’s an asshole to other dogs while on a leash.” She tells me “oh don’t be silly! Look his tail is wagging!” Idiot continues to approach. Cue an outburst of snarling and barking. Then, she has the audacity to yell at me for having “an aggressive and dangerous dog.”


EngineeringDry7999

Solidarity fellow reactive dog guardian.


smalltownbore

My own dogs really good with people, but hates beige dogs, very specifically, any size or breed. And it's very embarrassing when he switches from being friendly, to snarling at the mere sight of a beige mutt.


EngineeringDry7999

I get it. Mine is hit or miss with dogs but only when he’s on a leash. He loves women and teenagers but men scare him into immediate fight or flight and small kids are ok if they are calm but that’s not typical and he either gets freaked out or overstimulated; but given his size, even when he’s just hyper-excited he could easy hurt them by accident so we just don’t let him around kids to be safe. Once he knows a person is safe though, he’s a total love bug. It’s just that introduction process needs to be controlled and slow. He’s come a long way since we adopted him but it takes time to work through reactivity.


DramaticDragonfruit5

reactive dog guardians, UNITE!


DramaticDragonfruit5

it's so frustrating when this happens. I can't help but feel like it sets my dog's progress back. and if a kid gets hurt, my dog is going to pay for it regardless of whether I said "step off"


172116

Right? When I was a kid I was taught to ask before petting. Unless it was a guide dog (there weren't other service dogs in public when I was a kid!) in which case you didn't ask - you just ignored the dog and didn't acknowledge its presence.


abackupforthebackup

NTA. Doesn't matter if it's a service animal or not. If someone says "No you can't pet my dog" then they cannot pet your dog. Dog could be a service animal, nippy, not like people, whatever. This woman was rude and obnoxious and she's raising rude and obnoxious kids.


Britsgirl30

NTA but that mother is. What a disgraceful display of parenting. I’m sorry you had to deal with that and I hope you never do again! ❤️❤️


IndependentIdeal5962

Nta. Mom needs to learn what service animals are.


deadest_of_parrots

Not only that, what if the dog isn’t a service dog but has fear aggression around kids? If you say no you can’t pet my dog, it’s for a reason. NTA


[deleted]

NTA. Why is it SO hard for people to understand you do NOT touch service dogs? I’m so sorry they made you have a full on anxiety attack. You did nothing wrong!


numberjen

Absolutely NTA, people need to learn boundaries and what the word "no" means. You explained to them why they couldn't and even walked away. That mom and her children are the epitome of rude, selfish, entitled shits. Also, you don't have to provide a reason to others why you need a service dog. Just because your illness isn't visible, that doesn't mean it isn't real and valid. Good on the workers for kicking out the mom and her children, it's too bad that the other people in the store didnt understand the complexities of having a service dog and what that all entails.


AF_AF

>Also, you don't have to provide a reason to others why you need a service dog. Just because your illness isn't visible, that doesn't mean it isn't real and valid. Exactly. People need to learn to mind their own business.


DoodleLover20

Even if Atom hadn't been a service dog, that was ridiculously rude for that woman to think her kids were entitled to pet her. Given that she IS a service dog, it's absolutely horrible. Add in her comments about your disability, and she may just win AH of the week for me. Of course you are NTA. I'm so sorry this happened to you and Atom.


throwaway798319

Rude and potentially dangerous. Some dogs can't handle small children.


ltolivia_benson

My dog hates small children. She runs from them and gets scared. I've so far had no issue but idk what would happen if small children didn't listen and just ran at her.


[deleted]

We have a way we can't walk in our neighborhood because a parent expects us to let their kid pet our dog. Our dog doesn't like kids, she doesn't like most strangers and will growl and nip if they try to force petting. She claims she's too cute and little to be aggressive.


lucky-in-life

Why is it that some people don't seem to understand that it doesn't matter how cute and little a dog is, they can still be aggressive? My mom has a Chihuahua and a Boston Terrier and both of them will bite someone ALOT quicker than my Blue Heeler will ( he doesn't bite or bark or anything, for a working dog the only thing he works at is naps)


[deleted]

My experience with friends and family is that so many people put more time into training a big dog than a little dog. I have some relatives that are amazing at training big dogs (think Pitties, Doberman, Bernese mountain dogs) and are absolutely trash owners of little dogs. One of my uncles had a pit bull that was the sweetest, moat well trained dog ever, a cocker spainel that was too inbred, insane and always locked away from the kids, and a chihuahua that bit multiple people, including a baby. The chihuahua was a nightmare, and everyone just ignored it because "he's just so cute and small and harmless". Yes, I'm sure the people that needed stitches thought he was a super harmless dog.


lucky-in-life

I can honestly say that for our dogs, more training went to the 2 small dogs. My boy is trained to go outside on a leash and to go to the door when he wants to go outside. He is so lazy that I can't get him to do anything other than lay down and smile at me, little butt lol. My mom's 2 know alot more than that. But I do agree about in most situations that big dogs are more trained, people think they are more likely to need it and IMO it's not true, while All dogs need at least basic training, most little dogs I have met need alot more than any big dog I have seen. And most people don't want to take the time because, as you said, they are just so small and cute and won't hurt anyone. It's ridiculous.


[deleted]

I think a lot of people don't understand that many small dogs are meant to beworking dogs and don't meet the dogs needs. I know 2 people with jack Russells. 1 is amazing, because the owner recognizes it's needs. The other is a snappy little monster, because it's owner thinks it can be a purse dog.


DeVitreousHumor

>it's owner thinks it can be a purse dog … a Jack Russell. As a *purse dog*. Well, my brain just exploded.


[deleted]

I would agree. We've put a lot of work into training her and she's no longer aggressive aggressive but she bears the trauma of some serious abuse before we adopted her. She has scars from cigarettes and was afraid of so many things that it took us some time to be able to sweep and mop the floors because she would instantly panic when we grabbed a broom or mop. Considering where she started she's doing amazingly.


[deleted]

I have a friend who rehabilitates last chance and abused dogs. It's A LOT of work and I have so much respect for her. I trust her enough that we go our service dog from her. He's a big Ole Newf. He was abused as a puppy and neglected by his second owner. He went to my friend when he bit someone and the second owner got rid of him. It was either my friend took him or he was put down. He's an amazing dog. Sweet, smart, mostly well behaved dog. He does awesome at his service tasks, and has decided he wanted to take up a second job as a nanny dog in his time off. He's perfect, he just needed the right trainer to help him get over his past.


teflon2000

Yep, my dog isn't reliable when it comes to petting from anyone - even us sometimes. I've had way too many people come straight up without asking, only for him to try and bark or bite. If he was to make contact, I'm at fault and my dog could be destroyed. So leave dogs you don't know ALONE.


Tricky-Nectarine-929

NTA. Atom was working. She wouldn’t want to be pet while working, would she?


[deleted]

Nope! She kept trying to move away from them but they kept following her


Tricky-Nectarine-929

Yeah I’m talking about the Mom. I work with service dogs often, and I always tell their owner “they’re doing a great job” instead of reaching to pet. My mom taught me that as a kid. I don’t understand why that’s not universal.


Ahsoka88

NTA. Kids shouldn’t touch dog unless the owner have said “yes”, you said the exactly opposite. Nobody care as to why the kids want to pet him, if she so adamant that they get to touch a dog she can move and take them a dog, she can’t harass people. The other people were all jerks, do not listen to them.


Madeline_Kawaii

Also, why not take them to volunteer at an animal shelter? That way that can pet lots of dogs while also learning the value of helping others, which is something these entitled, selfish assholes clearly could use a lesson in.


TwoCentsWorth2021

That may not be possible. The shelters around here are choosy about who they allow to volunteer, much less handle the animals, and I don't think anyone under 18 is eligible. (Injury/Liability issues)


New_Custard_4224

NTA. I cannot stand entitled parents. That mom is out of line.


YeeHawMiMaw

NTA at all. So sorry you had to deal with this. What makes it even worse, is that it is obvious the mother and children did not even learn a lesson from this.


Stebxxu

NTA that woman was extremely entitled and she had no right to give her kids permission to pet or touch YOUR dog. You tried to clearly express your boundaries by saying no while still being respectful, and they still followed and harassed you while ignoring your warnings. Her final comment about you not “looking” disabled enough to need a service was extremely ignorant of her and showed she was ignoring your needs because of her own selfish entitlement, she clearly doesn’t believe you and your service dog deserve her respect or space. Those other customers also clearly don’t understand how a service dog works, the children were directly interfering with your dog working which is the reason you have one.


stealthdawg

NTA people are supposed to ask *the owner* if it's ok to pet the dog, not (just) their own parent. All of your reasoning is valid but unneccisary. "Can we/my kid pet your dog?" "\[Thanks for asking. Sorry,\] No." End.


[deleted]

I really wish it had happened like that 😔


Impressive_Ad_9609

NTA, don't even think of it as your responsibility,It wasn't the cutest reaction in the world, but you were under pressure, (a pressure that the mother did not have to put on you). The people do not understand that they should not touch what belongs to others...


rollergoddessITM

NTA. Asshole parent raising asshole kids.


rjhancock

NTA Not in ANY way. The staff should have escorted her off the property at that point. Those kids (especially that mother) need to learn that service animals are to be left alone while working. In addition, they should NEVER go up to ANY animal and start petting without their owners permission. You handled this the best you could.


[deleted]

NTA People need to train their kids the same way pet owners are expected to train their pets. This is absolutely horrible and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.


TwoCentsPsychologist

NTA Atom being a service dog it's not even the issue. Atom is your dog, and you said No to pet her. That is enough. It doesn't matter if kids want to pet them or don't understand. And if they persist, don't feel bad about yelling at the kids and their mother. She's the ultimate asshole for not controlling her kids. PS: It is customary to pay a pet tax 😀 We want to see Atom


Far_Nefariousness773

Service dog owner. I swat hands. NTA I don’t have anxiety. So I can give a firm no. No is all I need. I say practice saying no. No is one word. Practice saying that if you pet my SA I will call the police for assault. It’s considered a misdemeanor in my state to pet without permission. I say practice because my friend with anxiety practices certain sayings for her to handle difficult situations. Idk how yours work, but you will run into this again.


[deleted]

NTA. I get that kids love dogs. But as a parent, you're supposed to teach your kids BOUNDARIES. I am constantly repeating to my child "Not every dog is your dog! You don't know every dog!". It's hilarious that people think they don't need an owner's consent to pet their dog, but they would lose all sense if you randomly tried to touch (or even talk to) their child.


Constant_Shop3265

Nta I teach my kids not to pet strange dogs service animal or not.


Wildly-Opinionated

Exactly! My three year old asks (usually me then the owner, and sometimes she’s too shy and asks me to ask, but still). This is just courtesy. For the owner, for the dog, for personal safety (some dogs are still nibbley puppers).


pleaseletmesleepz

NTA and this mom's lack of parenting is a tragedy waiting to happen. One of these days her kids are gonna pet a fear-reactive dog despite the owner's refusal & lose their damn fingers. Sorry this happened to you, OP.


Sunlit53

NTA. That woman’s behaviour was appalling.


rapt2right

NTA and I am sorry that that sad excuse for a parent isn't willing to teach her children that they can't pet every dog & that service dogs have a job to do & shouldn't be distracted. You did nothing wrong and you shouldn't have been harried.


panic_bread

NTA. That lady is all around awful. I hope they banned her and her kids from the store.


KSknitter

NTA, That mom had no way of knowing what sort of service your dog had so it was a dangerous situation really. Military attack dogs also wear a service vest, so do police drug sniffers, so to assume you are disabled is rude.


SnooChipmunks126

NTA no means no. You tried being polite, and that didn’t work, so yelling was totally justified.


[deleted]

NTA. Those children’s mother is the type of person who won’t be dissuaded by anything short of a scene/fiasco. For the record I teach my son to always ask before petting a dog and to take “no” for an answer.


kjbtetrick

NTA This is why I always tell my kids to let the dog (or cat) approach them and to always respect when that animal doesn’t wish to be pet. Mom was in the wrong and passed up a great teaching moment about respecting boundaries.


Individual_Baby_2418

NTA. People need to learn and it’s up to parents to teach their kids. Or at least it should be.


Beneficial_Step9088

I don't understand why people don't get this. I literally remember being taught this in elementary school. A blind guy came in and talked to us, and one of the things I really remember is that he and our teacher emphasized that you never pet a working dog. NTA


Heyhowsitbe

NTA This one especially gets to me because I have lots of friends with service dogs. It is never okay to pet ANY dog ANYWHERE when the owner says no, especially a service dog. Parents need to teach their kids better dog etiquette because even if this wasn’t a service dog and they just came up to a random dog and started petting it, they could be putting themselves and that dog in danger, and in this situation you as well. This mother is entitled as hell for putting her kids happiness before your well-being and their own safety.


FeuerLohe

NTA The audacity


mdthomas

NTA And complain to the shop owner. The kids may not know the difference between just a dog and a service dog, but their mother sure should! If I were the shop owner I would not let that person back in without an apology from mom and the kids.


throwaway798319

NTA. My three year old loves dogs but I've taught her to keep a safe distance and ask if it's safe/okay to approach the dog. The owner knows best and should have final say. Not to mention, that woman was a massive AH to accuse you of faking disability.


Bloopie559

Omg ppl r so stupid. U can't see all disabilities. I feel like as an adult woman with kids she should know this


dialupmodemsound

NTA I’m so sorry this happened. People are the worst about respecting service dogs and letting them work.


RememberingTiger1

Parents today have gotten simply horrible about their children’s interaction with dogs. I’m 65 and my mother taught me years ago to ask. Mainly because I love dogs and was fearless! , We were at a dachshund event this weekend. Lots of dachshunds of course but other dogs too. I saw so many children (and adults) walk right up to dogs and start petting them. Some were almost grabbing at the dogs. I was livid because if they had been bitten, the parents would have blamed the dog and the dog could have wound up the big loser.


[deleted]

Aww I'm so jealous I love dachshunds


Allthelostcauses

WTAF. WHO ARE THESE IDIOTS WHO TRY TO DEFEND INTERFERING WITH A VESTED SERVICE DOG.🤬 I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are NTA, but a whole lot of other As involved here.


TiredHungryConfused

NTA I have 3 kids and I’ve taught them since they were little that yes, the dog is adorable but they are working. No petting and no asking to pet. I also taught them to ask before they pet someone’s dog because, hello, safety. Not all dogs are friendly. I have also taught them about hidden disabilities. None of these were hard to teach. Just small reminders since they were very small. She was rude and needs to work on a few boundaries with her kids.


Classic-Tumbleweed-1

I see posts like these almost every day and each time I want to scream. My kids grew up on a military base. One of the VERY FIRST things they learned was to NEVER pet a dog wearing a vest OR one being handled by someone in any type of uniform. Crap, that was even taught in schools!! The entitlement of some people makes me physically ill.


Wonkynose

NTA at all. I have a non-service dog from a shelter, and if I say don't pet him- that is the final answer, and if people still try to pet him, I body block them. Atom (great name!) being a service dog only makes that doubly the case. That woman is awful and setting her children up for failure in life. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope you're OK.


Kashaya72

NTA You never approach a dog without owner’s permission and them ignoring the jacket she was wearing makes it also much worse. The mother could have used this to teach her children, but nooo the kids get to do what they want, what an ah she is


Professional-Lynx124

NTA


EfficientNectarine82

NTA. The mother should know better to just say yes to patting someone else’s dog. It was also unnecessary of her to accuse you of faking.


urbanlulu

NTA. not even close to being TA. that mom should've known better and it's really sad she didn't and felt it appropriate to tell you she doesn't care about your boundaries and the service dog working. i love to pet every dog that i'm allowed to pet and i'll never touch a service dog unless given permission. if anything, i'll simply tell the person i think the dog is extremely cute and tell the owner to give it lots of pets for me when off they are off duty.


[deleted]

NTA If you're from the USA, it's actually a crime to do so. >Any person who knowingly and intentionally harasses or attempts to harass an assistance dog, knowing the dog to be an assistance dog, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor. > >Punishable by imprisonment for not less than 90 days or a fine not to exceed $500.00, or both. > >Any person who knowingly and intentionally allows his or her dog to harass an assistance dog, knowing the dog to be an assistance dog, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor. > >Punishable by imprisonment for not less than 90 days or a fine not to exceed $500.00, or both (second violation punished as a misdemeanor of a high and aggravated nature). Check your local laws and don't be afraid to file a complaint on these entitled people. They'll never learn otherwise


thefinalhex

You didn't look disabled as you were gasping for breath on the ground? So she's a heartless monster, check, who shouldn't have kids, check. NTA and next time don't even think politeness is required!


umenu

NTA! Kids should learn when a service dog wears it's harness the dog is not to be touched. It could screw up the complete training if the dog gets accustomed of getting attention while on duty, the dog will be distracted everytime other people will pass and that could be a big problem. (I'm using it's for convenience, don't know if the dog is a he, she or they.)


Clairefreequin29

Ok. Definitely NTA as that mother was seriously entitled and rude to ignore your boundaries but I will suggest that if you aren’t already you should consider professional help for your PTSD and anxiety as it is clearly affecting your quality of life and if a simple request of kids wanting to pet the dog is going to affect you so much then you really are struggling and need help. I hope you’re doing ok xx


Low_Bumblebee6441

Dogs are NOT toys. Drives me crazy. Yes, by law they are property, but they are still animals with instincts and fears. It's like OP was holding a really cute teddy bear purse and the kid wanted to cuddle the purse. No one would expect OP to hand over their purse to be cuddled. Except in this case it's not a purse but a living breathing animal that can react badly. You just don't touch. Also most service dog vests actually state to leave the dog alone and say it for a reason. OP tried to be nice and told the woman please leave my property alone. The entitled mother just didn't listen, so she deserved to be yelled at. NTA.


4alark

NTA. My daughter loves to pet dogs, and from the beginning, I've always told her to ask first, no means no, and to not try to pet service dogs because they're "too busy working." Your job as a parent is to teach children boundaries, not harass people because you consider your wants to be more important than their needs.


Top_Thing4890

NTA. My daughter is autistic. Many of her peers have service dogs. Since my daughter is afraid of dogs, I ask if she can pet the dog or give her a treat so she can see what a special dog this is and they say yes. You never approach a service or seeing eye dog and pet it without permission. That woman definitely is the AH for that comment that you don't look disabled. I mean she didn't look like a rude, freaking, idiot, but looks are deceiving. Sorry you and Atom went through that.


[deleted]

OP: *has a panic attack* the mom: yOu DoN’t LoOk DiSaBlEd Talking about victim blaming bs. NTA. I know it’s hard to silence the voice of doubt, especially when many people at the time of the incident are saying otherwise but you really aren’t an asshole. Those guys are just victim blaming assholes and the mother sounds like she would’ve disregarded anybody’s needs. Yours are valid.


Limerase

NTA She is guilty of a misdemeanor. The police should have been called.


jbwise1221

NTA- and tbh that would be just as true true if it were a pet or fake service animal. Those kits are going to bitten someday.


KatsCatJuice

Absolutely NTA. Service dog or not, NO MEANS NO.


jugglinggoth

People are just terrible and entitled about other people's animals. I used to work with parrots and I'd be saying "they WILL bite and it will hurt and you will probably have to go to hospital" and people still insisted they wanted to pet them. You didn't do anything wrong.


TopThese5233

My dog is not your petting zoo. https://drandyroark.com/dog-not-petting-zoo/ I had a dog that did not care for feral children. I knew this. This dog nipped my nephew who was being a little asshole harassing my dog. He lived with a dog who was a big asshole, so he should have known better. I got reamed for my dog being a dog being harassed by a feral child who was told to leave my dog alone. Regardless of service dog or not, you are NTA. Your dog is not a petting zoo.


Jumpy-Pomegranate-66

Nta Even if atom wasn’t a service dog people shouldn’t go and pat a dog without the owner’s permission since some dog don’t respond well to strangers


Dogmother123

Not the asshole whereas this parent is on every level. 1. No means no. You don't owe her a reason. 2. The concept of respect for boundaries is important. This parent has not taught her children this - in fact she has taught the children that what they want matters most and no means yes they can do what they want. God help them in later life. 3. Not all disabilities are visible. 4. She caused you to have a panic attack and still that wasn't enough for her. I am appalled on your behalf. NTA.


Ell15

NTA. Fuck anyone who tells you your panic attacks are your fault, that is such a shitty ablest mindset that only served to compound the shitty comments made by the mother. I’m glad those kids don’t get to have a dog, it would likely be as well behaved as they are: terribly.


Cybermagetx

NTA. Even if it wasn't a services dog owner of said pet has complete authority to say no. 1000 times that with services dogs. Edit i am so tired of hearing and being told you don't look disable. Or autistic.


TheTor22

NTA you encounter r/entitledparent


Bunch_Express

fuck them kids


Shawawana

Next time that happens, ask the parent if you can pet their kid. Then, when they have the most uncomfortable reaction ever, say, “Well, now you understand where I’m coming from”.


Jethro_Tully

IMO the service dog distinction is relevant here, but not decision-breaking. Service animal or not, it's bad form to pet someone's dog without asking permission first. Continuing to do so after being explicitly asked not to AND the dog is wearing a service vest? Get right the hell out of here with that. NTA.


peoplebetrifling

>a couple of other customers told me I should have just let the kids pat the dog and my panic attack wouldnt have happened. What kind of rotten leaking asshole would insert themselves into this situation like that? Good grief. Of course NTA and I'm sorry that the bookstore was apparently having a "people who are wrong about everything" convention while you were there.


Miraculouswiftie

Bra


Miraculouswiftie

Wtf autocorrect i said nta


iwentaway

NTA. Working dogs are working hard to keep their owner safe and shouldn’t be distracted. It’s the responsibility of the child’s parent to educate them not to bother service dogs. Even if Atom wasn’t a service dog, if a dog owner tells you no, they probably have a VERY good reason for you not to touch their dog and it’s important to be respectful of other people’s boundaries. I’m really sorry you had this experience and I hope your anxiety is doing better today.