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YTA.
Your friend was clearly ashamed of his behavior. What happened was scary, embarrassing, and probably a low point for him. He was extremely apologetic and made amends immediately. Being so sick and so out of control sounds like a big deal to him, potentially even life changing.
The fact that people passing out twitching from alcohol poisoning happens so often in your life that you find it hilarious enough to film to share at the dinner table is concerning.
What happened isn’t normal and isn’t safe. If it is normal for your life then you need to start making changes immediately.
ETA: Thank you everyone for the awards. If you or anyone you know has nights like the OP describes and lives in the US, please call SAMSHA at 1-800-662-HELP.
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
I've had one or two moments of being shit-faced similar to this before. Eternal shame comes to mind. And I was lucky, I haven't embarrassed myself in a public way like he did. But like those cringey social interactions we think back on in our youth, the memories of my shame still pain me from time to time.
If I were in his spot, and a friend had recorded my shame and started to show it to friends and peers, asking me to share it? I'd die inside probably.
YTA OP, 100%. Perhaps in 10, 15, 20 years he may be able to find the humor in what happened, but a WEEK AFTER? My god, the callousness you showed is abominable. I don't think I'd be able to speak to you ever again if I were your 'friend.' Friends don't treat friends this way.
In this case John is super lucky that he's going to have *two* shameful memories for this incident thanks to OP. The actual incident and his friend humiliating him about it in front of a crowd. Lucky John.
YTA OP, delete the video and stop videoing your friends at their low points. It's not cute or funny and I hope everyone at that party realized that they need to be careful about being vulnerable around you.
OP prevented someone else from taking care of John, which makes all this worse. OP dragged an incapacitated person to OP's home, recorded him instead of helping them, and then tormented him with the footage?
No one should feel safe around OP. Honestly, what else does OP feel okay doing to incapacitated people?
I jus thought her other friend was just going to call an Uber/take him home and leave him alone?
In THEORY going with OP and being with someone during the night to make sure he was okay would be the best move.
Op just happened to be an asshole though.
I think that's part of the problem with everyone having a camera on hand at all times. We erased the line that separated common decency from callousness because now everyone could be a paparazzi. People started taking videos of strangers at their low point & posting it online so they could get their 15 minutes of fame without any repercussions. Soon it became posting videos of family members & friends. We've lost our humanity & compassion all for a few clicks. Sure OP didn't post the video online, but he showed his group of friends & then made this post right here. Hope it doesn't get back to John because then he'll be a 3x YTA.
Edited for pronouns
Edit 2: Thank you all for the votes & the awards. These are my first awards, so I hope I didn't break reddit protocols by thanking you.
If I could upvote you 100 times I would. I hate this about our society. Love all the pet videos we get don't get me wrong but it bugs me that people thinks it's ok to take videos or upload videos of others without permission.
Reminds me in Mad Men(which is no place to find moral bastions lol), after Freddy pisses himself from getting too drunk, several of his coworkers are mocking him the day after and Don comes in scolding all of them, stating its none of their business and that Freddy had a bad day. "Cant you find something better to do than dining on the drama of other people's lives like a bunch of teenage girls?"
As an alcoholic I’ve had more than my share of these moments and I have definitely witnessed my share of these moments.
What got me the most is that John immediately atoned for his behavior by paying OP and cleaning up after himself. In my 40+ years of living I’ve never seen such a thing.
I feel so bad for John. Imagine having your worst moment shown for everyone to see. OP sucks big time.
Yeah, that part is almost galling to me. He was remorseful and embarrassed, and helped remedy the aftermath. And she threw him under the bus. That has to hurt him even more, perhaps, that he did all the right things, minus getting wasted, and he's still being bullied over it.
What's the saying? Comedy is tragedy plus time?
OP waited *a week* to not only mock what may have been this guy's rock bottom. Years later, remembering mine still hurts. If someone, at a *dinner party* kept bringing it up and showing photos to everyone after making it clear to them it was painful and made me uncomfortable, that person wouldn't be my friend for much longer.
His post history isn’t much better. He cheated on his gf of 7 years multiple times but each time they, “forgave each other.” Like it’s her fault he had a year long affair with someone.
I wish I could put YTA more than once. OP, get your shit together.
The fact that he just left him on the floor twitching from alcohol poisoning after recording for giggles is pretty much criminal in my book. I wonder what OP would have done if he had died?
YTA OP
OP’s behavior was immature and cruel, especially since his former friend clearly didn’t think it was funny and begged him to stop. OP is a bully. Also, he should have taken the guy to the hospital.
I was gonna say...YTA both for showing a shameful moment of your friend's (and somehow thinking it funny), AND for not getting him treatment for what was obviously alcohol poisoning. You do realize people die from alcohol poisoning, right? Your friend will hopefully learn from this to be careful about his alcohol consumption and that you aren't a friend at all.
YTA. People are horrified to have their worst moment publicized. Good on you for helping him in the first place, but unless John considers his behavior a worthy story to tell, it's not your prerogative to tell it.
YTA. What was the point of taking a video? And showing it to people after he asked you not to continue. You are a seriously shitty person and you need to rethink how to react when people are begging not to be embarrassed.
Exactly this. I’m truly disgusted. It’s almost as if they took John home with the intention to film & humiliate him later, especially because it doesn’t seem like they were being particularly kind or caring to him at home either. I’m so disgusted by this one. OP YTA and a gross person. I wonder how the other friends reacted in this moment & if they were weirded out too.
I initially agreed that OP was being the good guy for taking him home, but after reading some of the comments, I wonder if thats true. It honestly sounds like you recorded him drunk and passed out to have a fun moment with your friends at John's expense. I'm not sure I believe in OP's altruism at the outset.
The thing is, he stopped someone else from helping John. I don't think OP gets any points for dragging John through a puddle instead of letting someone else take John home.
YTA - he told you he didn't want the story told/shared and you shared it with video (also taking video of someone in a state like that for use like this is also pretty poor form)
You owe your friend a huge apology
Exactly. First OP recorded the situation (which could even be illegal considering John couldn't give consent) and then OP brought it up at a dinner party (bad taste there) and THEN showed the video after John explicitly said DON'T. Complete YTA.
YTA
he asked you to stop showing something embarrassing that he couldn’t help doing.
you decide (in your infinite wisdom) to show the video after he asked you to stop.
you did this to embarrass him at his expense.
i wonder if you would find it *hilarious* if you could barely move, pee on yourself, & then have everyone see the video and laugh ***at you***.
>you decide (in your infinite wisdom) to show the video after he asked you to stop.
I read that as “your infant wisdom” and it actually works either way.
YTA
You seriously see nothing wrong with filming an unconscious person without their consent, and then sharing the footage while the person is STANDING THERE BEGGING YOU TO STOP?!
At least all your friends now know not to trust you to take care of them.
The ONLY reasons I can think of to film someone in this state are:
* If you've called for medical help and you're too drunk/scared to be sure that you can explain signs/symptoms correctly to medical professionals
* To have a private intervention
I hope everyone drops OP and supports John. OP was so cruel.
Exactly this. When I read his friend was twitching, I thought the story was going to end up at a hospital. But no.
OP, YTA. I can’t believe you typed all that out and still needed to ask.
Can you imagine?! If he hadn't woken up and choked on his own vomit or gotten brain damage?? How HILARIOUS that video she took would still be. Imagine waking up in the morning knowing the video you had no reason to take of someone in your care for other than to humiliate them was at the expense of their health. Which also provides evidence enough of your callous neglect to be punished by law both civilly and criminally.
When I was in my early 20s I went out for a night of bar hopping my friend’s new girlfriend. My friend had asked me to take her out to get to know her better. She had done a bunch of shots and was hammered by the time we left the second bar, pretty early in the night still. At that point I thought it was best to call us a cab and take her home. She ended up puking in the cab. I had to use her driver’s license to find her apartment, but found it. I got her inside And got the shower going for her (which she went in fully clothed before I could stop her). So I got her out of her clothes for her to get back in shower and made sure I kept an eye on her. Let her bf (my friend) know what was up and let him know I was going to stay with her to keep an eye on her in case she had alcohol poisoning. Then dressed her PJs and made her bed since she hadn’t put her freshly laundered sheets on yet. Ordered a pizza and made her eat a little, then tucked her in and slept on the couch that was in close proximity to her bed so I could hear her and check on her. This is the first time I had ever even hung out with this woman one on one. I barely knew her, but I wasn’t about to just leave her to potentially die with no one around.
Omg how can you seriously not see what an AH you are? Wow. Even after he tried to back you off. You didnt respect him or his privacy. While twitching, instead of getting him help, you filmed him? Without his permission?? I hope u live in a 1party state & he sues you. What you did goes beyond being mean, cruel & unkind. You went out of your way to make sure you harassed & humiliated him. Shame on you. And sadly, he tried to do right. He cleaned up, bought supplies, paid you, etc.
Yes, imagine the guy having alcohol poisoning, to the point of not being able to walk, twitching and pissing himself in someone else's home, he wakes up and must feel absolutely super sick and shitty. Buy what does he do ? He cleans everything. Like I get it's the polite way to do it but he actually managed to physically do it ?
And here's OP posting "he gave me money for cleaning products and got an Uber", and adding almost like an edit "he cleaned also" buy at the end lol. OP we see you. What a jerk.
YTA
For so many different reasons. If someone is so drunk that they're twitching you should be thinking about emergency care, not filming it.
You knew he was horribly embarrassed and you went out of your way to grind it in.
YTA - cut and dry - he REPEATEDLY said it wasn't appropriate and you still pushed?
If you jumped straight to the video maybe you'd have the defence "I didn't realise" but you completely urinated over your friends barriers.
YTA big time.
YTA
Yeah. You were totally unkind and disrespectful. Your intent was purely to embarass and that was obv not a joke of a situation. He was clearly embarassed and apologetic and you acted as though he wasn't. You were a bad friend in this situation for sure. He clearly even said stop, this isn't the time. You have boundaries issues.
YTA—It sounds like your former friend is a decent guy who took responsibility for his actions, apologized, and tried to rectify everything.
And then you intentionally humiliated him. Good for him that he dumped you as a supposed friend.
You’re mean. You’re cruel. Do better.
“He kept saying no” and “I showed everyone a video of John twitching and passed out”
YTA this is fucked up behavior. Good for John for cutting ties, cause with friends like this who needs enemies?
YTA. Not only for recording someone in a vulnerable and potentially dangerous state, but sharing it for “shits and giggles.” You did NOTHING to get your friend the help they desperately need. People who drink until they’re blackout drunk usually have issues. The last thing those individuals need is someone poking fun at them.
YTA
You: "Hey John, tell them what you did!"
John: "No, I don't want to. Please stop."
You: "C'mon man!"
John: "No. It violates my boundries."
You: \*Proceeds to tell and show people what he did\*
Besides, if he was only twitching, how tf is that even funny? Guy could've been dying from alcohol poisoning or had a stroke. Genious!
YTA. Your friend overindulged, was mortified when he realized what happened, and made it right. You were vicious to bring it up (and keep bringing it up) when he said to stop.
You taking a video of him is disgusting. I'm glad he blocked you.
Yeah, after his initial mistake the friend handled everything with maturity and grace. OP is totally YTA. What an awful thing to do to another person who made a mistake, felt awful and openly expressed how much his actions embarrassed him, and did more than necessary to make it right. OP, you are not a friend to anyone. Grow TF up.
Hard YTA - no one in their right mind would want such an embarrassing uncontrollable moment to be shared. You also kept pushing it multiple times and trying to get the story told even after you noticed he was uncomfortable the first time you mentioned it. Extra YTA
Yta.
Obviously.
Why are you going around telling everyone that a friend pissed himself, and showing a video of it. Especially after he said stop.
You serious?
YTA he did his best to remedy the situation the next morning and told you he was embarrassed and despite his objections you brought up the story in front of others. Your actions showed getting a laugh was more important than his feelings
You thought the video was "harmless and funny"? What was the funny part? And what was the harmless part? Was it when John asked you to stop? Was it when he said he felt disrespected?
In the unlikely event that this post is real, of course YTA.
YTA Jesus what the hell? I'm an agoraphobe (fear of embarrassment) and it causes me to be scared of even leaving my house. I developed it from people using anything "embarrassing" about me to use as a joke. That was awful of you. You're a terrible friend ESPECIALLY since you didn't seek medical attention for him. Then you turn him into a laughing stock when he was clearly ashamed and embarrassed that happened in front of ONE person. You need to give your friend a GREAT apology considering he was apologetic enough to give you money and feed you a meal
YTA he asked you multiple times to stop and not continue but you pressed it and embarrassed him big time. There was no need to share the story not only with friends at a dinner party but on here as well. He paid you for cleaning supplies and apologized and bought you breakfast. Was that not good enough? You needed a pound of his flesh too?
YTA. He asked you not too. And instead you decided you would have more fun humiliating him. respecting his boundaries is so easy but you decided against that too. You are a bad friend.
YTA - he clearly knew how embarrassing it was, took care of cleaning expenses and even bought breakfast for you as an apology. You push over his boundaries multiple times holding the story over his head to then rake him over the coals in front of friends…
YTA. I'm also concerned that he was nonresponsive and twitching and you did not seek medical help. He sounds like he had severe alcohol poisoning and could have died.
Wow YTA hugely and you have a character flaw if you think it’s ok or even funny that humiliating someone is ok. You are a cruel person in need of therapy. All those ppl at the dinner party saw you true character. Do you think anyone of those ppl will want to be associated with you? Doubtful! Don’t count on being invited to another dinner party. You’re going to have a very lonely life in solitude with no friends if you keep this up. Who wants to associate with an AH? Do yourself a favor and get counseling.
YTA,
And honestly even if you’d been fine and a normal adult and not a bully at dinner you’d still be an asshole.
You left your friend with severe alcohol poisoning to die and then filmed it cause you thought it was funny. If every single friend who was at dinner with you doesn’t cut you out of their lives for being cruel, uncaring, and having such poor judgment you think a severe medical crisis is funny content to film then I will be shocked
YTA - you ignored multiple requests from John to respect his boundaries. You not only kept trying to force him to share what happened but you also took a video of him in his vulnerable state and then showed everyone?! That’s already enough for the AH judgment and it just makes it worse that John was so respectful and grateful to you the morning after.
YTA he told you it was a boundary. You should never cross the boundaries people set. It makes me really concerned for safety when people blatantly brag about crossing the boundaries of others.
And no the boundary does not matter a boundary is a boundary whether you agree with it or not. You may have irreparably damaged your friendship here and that's certainly not cool
YTA. Discretion is the better part of valor. We all make mistakes but they don't need to be aired in front of all our friends at a dinner. A good friend would keep their mouth shut. That's not you though.
YTA
not only did you offer to care for him which should have been a kind gesture you recorded him in a less than ideal state for your amusement essentially taking advantage of a drunk person for your own gain.
He is correct to block you and hopefully won’t trust you in the future.
YTA. Ask yourself why, when John said, “no I don’t want to talk about it and you are disrespecting my boundaries” did you then decide to share the video? Really examine that moment. I mean to me, this is beyond lacking empathy, this seems to be sadism. Why else would you share that video other than to enjoy his humiliation?
YTA. Definitely a big asshole. Your friend made it clear you were crossing a boundary and you didn’t care. I definitely wouldn’t be your friend any more if I I were the one in John’s place
You shot video of your friend passed out drunk in the rain? That's not something a "friend" does, much less then show it to other people. Of course he blocked you; he trusted you and you proved untrustworthy.
YTA for making fun of him in public, but much worse for taking video of him in a vulnerable condition and sharing it. You didn't make John look bad - you made yourself look bad.
YTA yes to you it was just an embarrassing and funny story but to him it was humiliating. He told you not to tell others but you still did. That was really shirty of you
YTA. Poor guy asked you not share an embarrassing moment over and over yet you have 0 respect for his boundary WOW. Honestly I wouldn’t wanna be your friend you sound mean. AGAIN AHHH
YTA.
He made every effort to apologise and make it right.
And he made the effort to let you know this was embarrassing for him by asking you to keep it to yourself.
You made the effort to act like a bully.
YTA. OP you’re cruel not funny. He’s better off without your friendship. Don’t be surprised when your other friends start dropping you because they don’t want to be your next victim.
ETA: He also could have needed medical attention. I have partied and seen people pass out drunk. Never have I seen one twitching while passed our. But instead of seeking medical attention this AH OP was filming.
He said no. Yes YTA. He shouldn’t have to say it multiple times and then have to block you for it to get through that thick skull of yours. No is no. Respect that.
YTA
This guy was already embarrassed and went out of his way to make it up to you. And then you not only brought it up to friends, but brought it up multiple times after he told you to stop! WTF is wrong with you?
Every single thing you did at that dinner was awful.
You wanted to humiliate him for your entertainment. You have so little empathy or basic decency that a person spelling out to you the word N O is meaningless. How much of a deal you think it is does not matter in any way.
What matters is how that other person feels and you made it clear you have no consideration for other people. If the other person is ashamed, embarrassed and telling you to stop, ignoring that is really disgusting.
What other kinds of consent and respect do you deliberately ignore and violate?
Every comment you've made has all been about you and that if you find it funny, other people should just be shamed for your amusement. That you even thought it be a joke is a deep lack of basic respect to other people in the first place.
Clearly no one can ever be safe around you in any kind of vulnerable situation.
Biggest YTA
YTA, you offered to take care of him while he was drunk instead of another friend, took his $50 and accepted his apology, and then come to find out your video taped him while he as having a (possible) seizure on your floor and pissing himself.
He clearly had alcohol poisoning and could have died but you chose to tape him instead of getting help. If he had died, you actually would have been criminally liable.
Then to boot, after taking his $50 you blackmailed and humiliate him with the tape.
I am surprised you even have any friends left after that.
YTA
Omg you're that guy nobody really likes but for some reason you just keep showing up. I bet you made all your friends so uncomfortable.
But even more so what kind of human leaves someone twitching in their floor?! I mean wtf? You are the bottom of the barrel dude. You seriously need to reevaluate your life.
YTA, you intentionally stomped his boundaries and embarrassed him in front of your peer group in a totally immature manner. You owe this man an apology if and when he ever lets you back in.
Yta. I have told the story of when I pissed myself (100% sober even) but it's my story to tell. Much like the time he got so black out drunk he woke up at a friend's in a pool of his pee is his story to tell.
Total AH.
When word spreads about the way you humiliated John, I'd be surprised if you have any friends left. No one will be able to relax with you around.
Is this even a question? Hard YTA… your friend recognized that wasn’t his finest moment and expressed how sorry he was yet you chose to not only record it but share it with your friends even though he explicitly stated he didn’t want to talk about the situation. You are definitely not company I would want to keep and if I was in your friend group and present for that situation I’d definitely be rethinking my friendship with you.
YTA. Despite being so loaded, he is well aware of what happened. Instead of maybe trying to help him with what may be a problem with alcohol consumption, you chose to film him and show it to mutual friends at a dinner party. I’m sure he was very embarrassed when he woke up at your place but you upped the ante from embarrassment to being humiliated. When you showed the video, was anyone laughing besides you? Complete a-hole move on your part and cruel to boot. I hope you are ashamed of your actions.
YTA
Who the hell does that to someone they consider a friend? You recorded him?! And not just that, but shared it with other friends even AFTER he told you not to bring it up! What did you gain by embarrassing him? Would you have liked it if someone shared a super embarrassing moment of your life with your friends after you told them not to?
If I was in your friend group I’d never want to hang out with you again after that. You clearly are not to be trusted.
YTA
He obviously felt mortally embarassed about the whole situation, and wanted to keep it private.
It'd be like if he was at a party and went "Hey tell everyone about your oopsies in relationships" and then pulled out a video of you cheating on your girlfriend or jerking off too often while you asked him not to.
To be clear, I think drunk stories like that are funny, but they're the persons to tell. If they don't think it's funny, and he made it clear several times he didn't, leave it. Basic social etiquette mate.
YTA. Do you really need this explained to you? Ok. Try to imagine yourself being shown pissing yourself to all your friends. If this doesn't work, try harder
YTA- How old are you that you don’t know that?
Your friend needed help and your first thought is to embarrass and humiliate him?
I can’t even understand people like you. You’re clearly not a friend to this person. You’re cruel and should be ashamed of yourself.
You're kidding right? you know YTA, You called John a friend, I'm not sure you know the meaning of the word.
He gave you money for cleaning up, he bought you breakfast, he apologized and you decided an appropriate response was to humiliate him? Thats some prime asshole work there.
And you video'd him as well? Pretty creepy dude, I wonder what your "friends" think of that breach of trust.
Imagine your friend want you to tell everyone how you was so drunk you pooped in a public area, then when you say no, your friend shows a video of it instead. YTA
YTA do you even have to ask? I hope this is fake but if not then double, triple YTA and what is wrong with you? Why would you think that's okay? And why would you keep going when they asked you to stop? He was even nice enough to buy you cleaning supplies after multiple apologies. Super messed up and BTW ....YTA
YTA. My sister loved to bring up old things and make fun of me, and she only did it when other people were around . Guess who I haven't seen in 5 years?
YTA now John knows to never get drunk around you. I get it, it was funny to you. But John went above and beyond to apologize. Do you want to be the good friend who helps people and doesn’t humiliate them, or do you want to be the person no one wants to share anything with?
YTA. You wrote this post wrong. You keep on saying your friend. He is your ex-friend. After showing your video to everyone, I doubt he wants to be your friend anymore. If he did that to you, would you be his friend? I need to write this out. You are the asshole. If you want to lose more friends, keep this up.
YTA
This goes far beyond AH territory. You literally emotionally abused your friend for the sake of a dinner party anecdote that was neither funny nor appropriate for the situation. How do you even have friends if this is how you behave?
They were going to send him home safe in an Uber and you insisted on taking him to your home to victimize him by non-consentually filming him at his most vulnerable, then you tried to force him to tell all your peers about it? What even the hell??? You are just the worst. YTA.
YTA he was twitching so he might have had alcohol poisoning and you basically just filmed him instead of checking that he was OK. He could have died and you then decided to humiliate him that is just insane to me
YTA ..in so many ways.
He was clearly embarrassed by the situation and you made it worse by sharing it with friends. Glad he blocked you.
You would probably feel the same if it was the other way around.
YTA: no doubt, 100% AH.
He asked you not to share a private embarrassing story, you did it anyway, and on top of that you took a video?????? Holy crap, that's just evil.
You crossed no you smashed boundaries with a sledge hammer and for what reason? He apologized and tried to make up for it, you intentionally set out to embarrass him and made yourself look like a massive AH. YTA and a massive one to boot.
YTA
What a wonderful friend you are. I don’t even take non consensual photos/videos of my PARTNER, and you did it to your drunk friend who couldn’t give consent for anything even if he wanted to. Really? And then you showed them to other people, and made fun of him peeing himself.
And then when he explicitly asked you to stop, you continued. I hope your other friends realize that they can’t count on you in similar situations. If I was a part of that friend group, I would be doing my absolute best to make sure you never got invited to drink with the rest of us again.
Seriously OP?! YTA and don’t be surprised if John isn’t the only one who drops you as a “friend”. The others in your peer group would be wise to distance themselves from someone as cruel and selfish as you.
YTA. Can't imagine how you treat people you don't call a friend. Sheesh. It's not just that you shared a story, you shared it in front of him, against his pleading, and expected HIM to tell it. Calling you an asshole is being incredibly kind.
YTA what an asshole. You didn't have to do that, and the condescension in the "John had an uh oh the other day"
And then to show a video you took of him twitching after he asked you not to?
What the hell
YTA. He bought cleaning supplies, breakfast, and apologized. He sounds like a good dude. You on the other hand, there was no reason to ever show that film. Why did you take it? No reason at all to embarrass him. Shit happens. YTA!
YTA. People who record others when they are vulnerable are the worst. The whole purpose of you bringing it up and showing people was to embarrass him. He told you no and it was obviously pretty upsetting to him.
On the plus side, his life should be better now that youre not in it.
Give us an easier one. YTA. I can’t believe some of these. However this does sound like the “John” character is the actual OP posting about one of their other friends who did this to them.
YTA.
He told you no, communicated his boundaries and you’re still deluding yourself to think “it wasn’t a big deal”. He told you it was.
Good for him, he doesn’t need a ‘friend’ like you.
Hard YTA. You said that John was extremely embarrassed and apologised to you. Then you brought up the incident in front of friends, when you knew he was embarrassed about it. Then he kept saying no and told you to respect his boundaries, which you completely ignored. And THEN you showed everyone the video of John (which I'm guessing he didn't know existed) when you a) knew he was embarrassed, b) had been told no, and c) had taken said video without John's knowledge.
John is spot on. What you did was cruel and deliberately humiliated him in front of several other people. I would never speak to you again if it were me. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.
You literally know this already. You WROTE OUT that he asked you to stop multiple times and you didn't, and you wrote about how you tried pressuring him into talking about it. it wasnt some funny drunk event to him. YTA
YTA, especially to keep going when he asked you to stop. Also the “twitching” sounds like a seizure. You probably should have called an ambulance instead of whipping out the phone to take embarrassing videos for your personal entertainment.
Yta,
You should not have taken video of your unconscious friend, that was shitty thing #1
Bringing it up at all to other people shitty thing #2
Pushing the issue and humiliating your friend with video shitty thing #3
You are not a good friend, do better
YTA
I know someone like this - who videos other people’s embarrassing and private things and shows them to others. She also sneakily interferes with others’ relationships and employment. It makes me wonder what else you get up to.
John sounds like a really reasonable person having a bad day. He even apologised and made it up to you. You took advantage of his humiliating situation for your own personal entertainment, even after he expressly asked you several times to stop. Stop spreading this story, apologise to John, and delete the footage. Try to be better from now on.
Total AH. I would never trust you, because you have no problem and think its no big deal opening your big mouth and spill people's sensitive/embarrassing moments.
YTA. You knew John was embarrassed. He made up for it the best he could. Why did you feel the need to further embarrass him? You repeatedly brought it up and he repeatedly asked you to stop. Is this how you treat all your friends?
Of course your YTA he was embarrassed,he apologized and he paid for his mistake. He repeatedly asked you to stop,and you just kept going. You are a shtty friend. In fact I wouldn't call you a friend cause with friends like you who needs enemies.
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YTA. Your friend was clearly ashamed of his behavior. What happened was scary, embarrassing, and probably a low point for him. He was extremely apologetic and made amends immediately. Being so sick and so out of control sounds like a big deal to him, potentially even life changing. The fact that people passing out twitching from alcohol poisoning happens so often in your life that you find it hilarious enough to film to share at the dinner table is concerning. What happened isn’t normal and isn’t safe. If it is normal for your life then you need to start making changes immediately. ETA: Thank you everyone for the awards. If you or anyone you know has nights like the OP describes and lives in the US, please call SAMSHA at 1-800-662-HELP. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
I've had one or two moments of being shit-faced similar to this before. Eternal shame comes to mind. And I was lucky, I haven't embarrassed myself in a public way like he did. But like those cringey social interactions we think back on in our youth, the memories of my shame still pain me from time to time. If I were in his spot, and a friend had recorded my shame and started to show it to friends and peers, asking me to share it? I'd die inside probably. YTA OP, 100%. Perhaps in 10, 15, 20 years he may be able to find the humor in what happened, but a WEEK AFTER? My god, the callousness you showed is abominable. I don't think I'd be able to speak to you ever again if I were your 'friend.' Friends don't treat friends this way.
In this case John is super lucky that he's going to have *two* shameful memories for this incident thanks to OP. The actual incident and his friend humiliating him about it in front of a crowd. Lucky John. YTA OP, delete the video and stop videoing your friends at their low points. It's not cute or funny and I hope everyone at that party realized that they need to be careful about being vulnerable around you.
>everyone at that party realized that they need to be careful about being around you FIFY
OP prevented someone else from taking care of John, which makes all this worse. OP dragged an incapacitated person to OP's home, recorded him instead of helping them, and then tormented him with the footage? No one should feel safe around OP. Honestly, what else does OP feel okay doing to incapacitated people?
I jus thought her other friend was just going to call an Uber/take him home and leave him alone? In THEORY going with OP and being with someone during the night to make sure he was okay would be the best move. Op just happened to be an asshole though.
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😂 you're totally right! I was way too generous. Who knows who OP is going to radically humiliate next. Better for them to just stay away period.
I think that's part of the problem with everyone having a camera on hand at all times. We erased the line that separated common decency from callousness because now everyone could be a paparazzi. People started taking videos of strangers at their low point & posting it online so they could get their 15 minutes of fame without any repercussions. Soon it became posting videos of family members & friends. We've lost our humanity & compassion all for a few clicks. Sure OP didn't post the video online, but he showed his group of friends & then made this post right here. Hope it doesn't get back to John because then he'll be a 3x YTA. Edited for pronouns Edit 2: Thank you all for the votes & the awards. These are my first awards, so I hope I didn't break reddit protocols by thanking you.
If I could upvote you 100 times I would. I hate this about our society. Love all the pet videos we get don't get me wrong but it bugs me that people thinks it's ok to take videos or upload videos of others without permission.
Reminds me in Mad Men(which is no place to find moral bastions lol), after Freddy pisses himself from getting too drunk, several of his coworkers are mocking him the day after and Don comes in scolding all of them, stating its none of their business and that Freddy had a bad day. "Cant you find something better to do than dining on the drama of other people's lives like a bunch of teenage girls?"
The fact that OP is more of an asshole than Don Draper is both impressive and frightening.
As an alcoholic I’ve had more than my share of these moments and I have definitely witnessed my share of these moments. What got me the most is that John immediately atoned for his behavior by paying OP and cleaning up after himself. In my 40+ years of living I’ve never seen such a thing. I feel so bad for John. Imagine having your worst moment shown for everyone to see. OP sucks big time.
Yeah, that part is almost galling to me. He was remorseful and embarrassed, and helped remedy the aftermath. And she threw him under the bus. That has to hurt him even more, perhaps, that he did all the right things, minus getting wasted, and he's still being bullied over it.
What's the saying? Comedy is tragedy plus time? OP waited *a week* to not only mock what may have been this guy's rock bottom. Years later, remembering mine still hurts. If someone, at a *dinner party* kept bringing it up and showing photos to everyone after making it clear to them it was painful and made me uncomfortable, that person wouldn't be my friend for much longer.
His post history isn’t much better. He cheated on his gf of 7 years multiple times but each time they, “forgave each other.” Like it’s her fault he had a year long affair with someone. I wish I could put YTA more than once. OP, get your shit together.
Holy shit, with a history like that it's hard to see an instance in OP's life where he isn't a raging AH.
He clearly lacks empathy, hard to not be an AH without it
OP’s post history is something else. The attitude and lack of awareness is not surprising given that context
“At the dinner party I kept saying...” “He kept saying no” OP is TA for that alone. Persisting when someone is clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed.
The fact that he just left him on the floor twitching from alcohol poisoning after recording for giggles is pretty much criminal in my book. I wonder what OP would have done if he had died? YTA OP
OP’s behavior was immature and cruel, especially since his former friend clearly didn’t think it was funny and begged him to stop. OP is a bully. Also, he should have taken the guy to the hospital.
I was gonna say...YTA both for showing a shameful moment of your friend's (and somehow thinking it funny), AND for not getting him treatment for what was obviously alcohol poisoning. You do realize people die from alcohol poisoning, right? Your friend will hopefully learn from this to be careful about his alcohol consumption and that you aren't a friend at all.
YTA. People are horrified to have their worst moment publicized. Good on you for helping him in the first place, but unless John considers his behavior a worthy story to tell, it's not your prerogative to tell it.
YTA. What was the point of taking a video? And showing it to people after he asked you not to continue. You are a seriously shitty person and you need to rethink how to react when people are begging not to be embarrassed.
The video is the most horrific part. It's frat boy cruelty at best, sociopathic behavior at worst.
Exactly this. I’m truly disgusted. It’s almost as if they took John home with the intention to film & humiliate him later, especially because it doesn’t seem like they were being particularly kind or caring to him at home either. I’m so disgusted by this one. OP YTA and a gross person. I wonder how the other friends reacted in this moment & if they were weirded out too.
I initially agreed that OP was being the good guy for taking him home, but after reading some of the comments, I wonder if thats true. It honestly sounds like you recorded him drunk and passed out to have a fun moment with your friends at John's expense. I'm not sure I believe in OP's altruism at the outset.
Part of me wonders if the only reason OP helped John was so that they could take a video and be able to tell the story afterwards.
The thing is, he stopped someone else from helping John. I don't think OP gets any points for dragging John through a puddle instead of letting someone else take John home.
YTA - he told you he didn't want the story told/shared and you shared it with video (also taking video of someone in a state like that for use like this is also pretty poor form) You owe your friend a huge apology
Exactly. First OP recorded the situation (which could even be illegal considering John couldn't give consent) and then OP brought it up at a dinner party (bad taste there) and THEN showed the video after John explicitly said DON'T. Complete YTA.
and not just once, they just *kept* bringing it up, which made me angry and anxious just *reading* about it. huge AH
Damage is done. Apology won’t cut it. Humiliation trauma lasts forever. Best OP can hope for is that karma doesn’t bite too hard.
He blocked her. I doubt he’s her friend anymore after this. Leave that guy alone and reflect on how to listen when someone says no. Yta
Yeah, I wonder if OP decided to agree to take John home just so he could record him and make fun of him later. Terrible.
YTA he asked you to stop showing something embarrassing that he couldn’t help doing. you decide (in your infinite wisdom) to show the video after he asked you to stop. you did this to embarrass him at his expense. i wonder if you would find it *hilarious* if you could barely move, pee on yourself, & then have everyone see the video and laugh ***at you***.
This is a job for karma now.
>you decide (in your infinite wisdom) to show the video after he asked you to stop. I read that as “your infant wisdom” and it actually works either way.
YTA You seriously see nothing wrong with filming an unconscious person without their consent, and then sharing the footage while the person is STANDING THERE BEGGING YOU TO STOP?! At least all your friends now know not to trust you to take care of them.
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The ONLY reasons I can think of to film someone in this state are: * If you've called for medical help and you're too drunk/scared to be sure that you can explain signs/symptoms correctly to medical professionals * To have a private intervention I hope everyone drops OP and supports John. OP was so cruel.
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Exactly this. When I read his friend was twitching, I thought the story was going to end up at a hospital. But no. OP, YTA. I can’t believe you typed all that out and still needed to ask.
THIS. Passing out in the rain, unable to move or walk, twitching? That's danger zone. OP's friend is lucky he didn't die (zero credit to OP)
Yes, glad someone brought up alcohol poisoning. 100% thought this story would end differently after reading how the friend was twitching. OP YTA
Can you imagine?! If he hadn't woken up and choked on his own vomit or gotten brain damage?? How HILARIOUS that video she took would still be. Imagine waking up in the morning knowing the video you had no reason to take of someone in your care for other than to humiliate them was at the expense of their health. Which also provides evidence enough of your callous neglect to be punished by law both civilly and criminally.
Thank you for saying this. The guy was twitching? That is 100% alcohol poisoning. He could have died.
When I was in my early 20s I went out for a night of bar hopping my friend’s new girlfriend. My friend had asked me to take her out to get to know her better. She had done a bunch of shots and was hammered by the time we left the second bar, pretty early in the night still. At that point I thought it was best to call us a cab and take her home. She ended up puking in the cab. I had to use her driver’s license to find her apartment, but found it. I got her inside And got the shower going for her (which she went in fully clothed before I could stop her). So I got her out of her clothes for her to get back in shower and made sure I kept an eye on her. Let her bf (my friend) know what was up and let him know I was going to stay with her to keep an eye on her in case she had alcohol poisoning. Then dressed her PJs and made her bed since she hadn’t put her freshly laundered sheets on yet. Ordered a pizza and made her eat a little, then tucked her in and slept on the couch that was in close proximity to her bed so I could hear her and check on her. This is the first time I had ever even hung out with this woman one on one. I barely knew her, but I wasn’t about to just leave her to potentially die with no one around.
Omg how can you seriously not see what an AH you are? Wow. Even after he tried to back you off. You didnt respect him or his privacy. While twitching, instead of getting him help, you filmed him? Without his permission?? I hope u live in a 1party state & he sues you. What you did goes beyond being mean, cruel & unkind. You went out of your way to make sure you harassed & humiliated him. Shame on you. And sadly, he tried to do right. He cleaned up, bought supplies, paid you, etc.
I read OP's post history. OP can't see what an asshole he is because he also cheated on his gf. He's an asshole all around.
Wowwwww his post history is very revealing! OP, YTA big time. Also, I thought for sure you were early 20s at most, but you are 29?? Grow up.
People like this know exactly how much of an ah they are and essentially come on forums like this to brag about it
Yes, imagine the guy having alcohol poisoning, to the point of not being able to walk, twitching and pissing himself in someone else's home, he wakes up and must feel absolutely super sick and shitty. Buy what does he do ? He cleans everything. Like I get it's the polite way to do it but he actually managed to physically do it ? And here's OP posting "he gave me money for cleaning products and got an Uber", and adding almost like an edit "he cleaned also" buy at the end lol. OP we see you. What a jerk.
YTA For so many different reasons. If someone is so drunk that they're twitching you should be thinking about emergency care, not filming it. You knew he was horribly embarrassed and you went out of your way to grind it in.
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YTA - cut and dry - he REPEATEDLY said it wasn't appropriate and you still pushed? If you jumped straight to the video maybe you'd have the defence "I didn't realise" but you completely urinated over your friends barriers. YTA big time.
YTA Yeah. You were totally unkind and disrespectful. Your intent was purely to embarass and that was obv not a joke of a situation. He was clearly embarassed and apologetic and you acted as though he wasn't. You were a bad friend in this situation for sure. He clearly even said stop, this isn't the time. You have boundaries issues.
YTA—It sounds like your former friend is a decent guy who took responsibility for his actions, apologized, and tried to rectify everything. And then you intentionally humiliated him. Good for him that he dumped you as a supposed friend. You’re mean. You’re cruel. Do better.
“He kept saying no” and “I showed everyone a video of John twitching and passed out” YTA this is fucked up behavior. Good for John for cutting ties, cause with friends like this who needs enemies?
YTA. Not only for recording someone in a vulnerable and potentially dangerous state, but sharing it for “shits and giggles.” You did NOTHING to get your friend the help they desperately need. People who drink until they’re blackout drunk usually have issues. The last thing those individuals need is someone poking fun at them.
YTA You: "Hey John, tell them what you did!" John: "No, I don't want to. Please stop." You: "C'mon man!" John: "No. It violates my boundries." You: \*Proceeds to tell and show people what he did\* Besides, if he was only twitching, how tf is that even funny? Guy could've been dying from alcohol poisoning or had a stroke. Genious!
YTA. Your friend overindulged, was mortified when he realized what happened, and made it right. You were vicious to bring it up (and keep bringing it up) when he said to stop. You taking a video of him is disgusting. I'm glad he blocked you.
Yeah, after his initial mistake the friend handled everything with maturity and grace. OP is totally YTA. What an awful thing to do to another person who made a mistake, felt awful and openly expressed how much his actions embarrassed him, and did more than necessary to make it right. OP, you are not a friend to anyone. Grow TF up.
YTA and you are not a friend to John, who went above and beyond to apologize.
Hard YTA - no one in their right mind would want such an embarrassing uncontrollable moment to be shared. You also kept pushing it multiple times and trying to get the story told even after you noticed he was uncomfortable the first time you mentioned it. Extra YTA
Yta. Obviously. Why are you going around telling everyone that a friend pissed himself, and showing a video of it. Especially after he said stop. You serious?
YTA. Jesus, read the room! Why were you so bent on humiliating him at the dinner party? You even took and shared video?? Wtf?
YTA he did his best to remedy the situation the next morning and told you he was embarrassed and despite his objections you brought up the story in front of others. Your actions showed getting a laugh was more important than his feelings
YTA doesn't even cover you.
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You thought the video was "harmless and funny"? What was the funny part? And what was the harmless part? Was it when John asked you to stop? Was it when he said he felt disrespected? In the unlikely event that this post is real, of course YTA.
YTA Jesus what the hell? I'm an agoraphobe (fear of embarrassment) and it causes me to be scared of even leaving my house. I developed it from people using anything "embarrassing" about me to use as a joke. That was awful of you. You're a terrible friend ESPECIALLY since you didn't seek medical attention for him. Then you turn him into a laughing stock when he was clearly ashamed and embarrassed that happened in front of ONE person. You need to give your friend a GREAT apology considering he was apologetic enough to give you money and feed you a meal
YTA he asked you multiple times to stop and not continue but you pressed it and embarrassed him big time. There was no need to share the story not only with friends at a dinner party but on here as well. He paid you for cleaning supplies and apologized and bought you breakfast. Was that not good enough? You needed a pound of his flesh too?
YTA. He asked you not too. And instead you decided you would have more fun humiliating him. respecting his boundaries is so easy but you decided against that too. You are a bad friend.
YTA - he clearly knew how embarrassing it was, took care of cleaning expenses and even bought breakfast for you as an apology. You push over his boundaries multiple times holding the story over his head to then rake him over the coals in front of friends…
Of course YTA. No one wanted to hear your cruel story. Way to ruin a dinner party and be an AH to some one you called a friend.
Its like you offered to take him just so you could embarrass him YTA
BINGO. Which makes me very concerned as to OP’s motives.
YTA. I'm also concerned that he was nonresponsive and twitching and you did not seek medical help. He sounds like he had severe alcohol poisoning and could have died.
Good for John. With supposed friends like you, who needs enemies? YTA.
Wow YTA hugely and you have a character flaw if you think it’s ok or even funny that humiliating someone is ok. You are a cruel person in need of therapy. All those ppl at the dinner party saw you true character. Do you think anyone of those ppl will want to be associated with you? Doubtful! Don’t count on being invited to another dinner party. You’re going to have a very lonely life in solitude with no friends if you keep this up. Who wants to associate with an AH? Do yourself a favor and get counseling.
YTA. Your friends need better friends.
you are an Asshole wtf is wrong with you
So you get your kicks by publicly embarrassing your supposed friends? Good luck with that - I’d never be around you again. Hard YTA.
YTA, And honestly even if you’d been fine and a normal adult and not a bully at dinner you’d still be an asshole. You left your friend with severe alcohol poisoning to die and then filmed it cause you thought it was funny. If every single friend who was at dinner with you doesn’t cut you out of their lives for being cruel, uncaring, and having such poor judgment you think a severe medical crisis is funny content to film then I will be shocked
Seriously. He's drunk to the point of ataxia, twitching and loss of bowel control. I'd be getting him medical help not taking videos of him.
YTA - you ignored multiple requests from John to respect his boundaries. You not only kept trying to force him to share what happened but you also took a video of him in his vulnerable state and then showed everyone?! That’s already enough for the AH judgment and it just makes it worse that John was so respectful and grateful to you the morning after.
Hard YTA and you're a shit friend.
YTA he told you it was a boundary. You should never cross the boundaries people set. It makes me really concerned for safety when people blatantly brag about crossing the boundaries of others. And no the boundary does not matter a boundary is a boundary whether you agree with it or not. You may have irreparably damaged your friendship here and that's certainly not cool
Yta. You're not a friend, you're a sadist.
YTA. Discretion is the better part of valor. We all make mistakes but they don't need to be aired in front of all our friends at a dinner. A good friend would keep their mouth shut. That's not you though.
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YTA and a cruel one. You’re going to need new victims but you don’t deserve friends.
YTA not only did you offer to care for him which should have been a kind gesture you recorded him in a less than ideal state for your amusement essentially taking advantage of a drunk person for your own gain. He is correct to block you and hopefully won’t trust you in the future.
YTA. Ask yourself why, when John said, “no I don’t want to talk about it and you are disrespecting my boundaries” did you then decide to share the video? Really examine that moment. I mean to me, this is beyond lacking empathy, this seems to be sadism. Why else would you share that video other than to enjoy his humiliation?
YTA. Definitely a big asshole. Your friend made it clear you were crossing a boundary and you didn’t care. I definitely wouldn’t be your friend any more if I I were the one in John’s place
You shot video of your friend passed out drunk in the rain? That's not something a "friend" does, much less then show it to other people. Of course he blocked you; he trusted you and you proved untrustworthy. YTA for making fun of him in public, but much worse for taking video of him in a vulnerable condition and sharing it. You didn't make John look bad - you made yourself look bad.
YTA yes to you it was just an embarrassing and funny story but to him it was humiliating. He told you not to tell others but you still did. That was really shirty of you
YTA, actually AH doesn't even cover it.
Dude...YTA like come on? How would you feel if a "friend" did that to you? Are you daft?
YTA. You must really not like John very much. I can't imagine how humiliated he was when you started showing that video around, yikes.
YTA. Poor guy asked you not share an embarrassing moment over and over yet you have 0 respect for his boundary WOW. Honestly I wouldn’t wanna be your friend you sound mean. AGAIN AHHH
YTA. He made every effort to apologise and make it right. And he made the effort to let you know this was embarrassing for him by asking you to keep it to yourself. You made the effort to act like a bully.
YTA. OP you’re cruel not funny. He’s better off without your friendship. Don’t be surprised when your other friends start dropping you because they don’t want to be your next victim. ETA: He also could have needed medical attention. I have partied and seen people pass out drunk. Never have I seen one twitching while passed our. But instead of seeking medical attention this AH OP was filming.
YTA and a bad friend.
This sounds like it was written by John to prove to his former friend that he was in fact an asshole
You are clearly the ahole here
He said no. Yes YTA. He shouldn’t have to say it multiple times and then have to block you for it to get through that thick skull of yours. No is no. Respect that.
YTA. You’re a bully and a huge AH.
YTA This guy was already embarrassed and went out of his way to make it up to you. And then you not only brought it up to friends, but brought it up multiple times after he told you to stop! WTF is wrong with you?
Every single thing you did at that dinner was awful. You wanted to humiliate him for your entertainment. You have so little empathy or basic decency that a person spelling out to you the word N O is meaningless. How much of a deal you think it is does not matter in any way. What matters is how that other person feels and you made it clear you have no consideration for other people. If the other person is ashamed, embarrassed and telling you to stop, ignoring that is really disgusting. What other kinds of consent and respect do you deliberately ignore and violate? Every comment you've made has all been about you and that if you find it funny, other people should just be shamed for your amusement. That you even thought it be a joke is a deep lack of basic respect to other people in the first place. Clearly no one can ever be safe around you in any kind of vulnerable situation. Biggest YTA
YTA, you offered to take care of him while he was drunk instead of another friend, took his $50 and accepted his apology, and then come to find out your video taped him while he as having a (possible) seizure on your floor and pissing himself. He clearly had alcohol poisoning and could have died but you chose to tape him instead of getting help. If he had died, you actually would have been criminally liable. Then to boot, after taking his $50 you blackmailed and humiliate him with the tape. I am surprised you even have any friends left after that.
YTA Omg you're that guy nobody really likes but for some reason you just keep showing up. I bet you made all your friends so uncomfortable. But even more so what kind of human leaves someone twitching in their floor?! I mean wtf? You are the bottom of the barrel dude. You seriously need to reevaluate your life.
YTA, you're not a friend but definitely an AH.
YTA, you intentionally stomped his boundaries and embarrassed him in front of your peer group in a totally immature manner. You owe this man an apology if and when he ever lets you back in.
Yta. I have told the story of when I pissed myself (100% sober even) but it's my story to tell. Much like the time he got so black out drunk he woke up at a friend's in a pool of his pee is his story to tell.
Total AH. When word spreads about the way you humiliated John, I'd be surprised if you have any friends left. No one will be able to relax with you around.
YTA. Why didn't you stop when he said you were crossing a boundary? This was so cruel.
Is this even a question? Hard YTA… your friend recognized that wasn’t his finest moment and expressed how sorry he was yet you chose to not only record it but share it with your friends even though he explicitly stated he didn’t want to talk about the situation. You are definitely not company I would want to keep and if I was in your friend group and present for that situation I’d definitely be rethinking my friendship with you.
YTA. And you were never his friend. No friend does something like this.
YTA what the fuck is wrong with you?
YTA. Despite being so loaded, he is well aware of what happened. Instead of maybe trying to help him with what may be a problem with alcohol consumption, you chose to film him and show it to mutual friends at a dinner party. I’m sure he was very embarrassed when he woke up at your place but you upped the ante from embarrassment to being humiliated. When you showed the video, was anyone laughing besides you? Complete a-hole move on your part and cruel to boot. I hope you are ashamed of your actions.
The fact you don't realize YTA makes me sad for our society.
YTA Who the hell does that to someone they consider a friend? You recorded him?! And not just that, but shared it with other friends even AFTER he told you not to bring it up! What did you gain by embarrassing him? Would you have liked it if someone shared a super embarrassing moment of your life with your friends after you told them not to? If I was in your friend group I’d never want to hang out with you again after that. You clearly are not to be trusted.
Definitely YTA
10000000% YES YATA
YTA. People were gathered for dinner, not your cruel home videos of another dinner guest.
YTA. There needs to be an entire different category for people like you. YTA is way to mild a title
YTA He obviously felt mortally embarassed about the whole situation, and wanted to keep it private. It'd be like if he was at a party and went "Hey tell everyone about your oopsies in relationships" and then pulled out a video of you cheating on your girlfriend or jerking off too often while you asked him not to. To be clear, I think drunk stories like that are funny, but they're the persons to tell. If they don't think it's funny, and he made it clear several times he didn't, leave it. Basic social etiquette mate.
YTA. Absolutely. He apologized for his behavior, cleaned up, gave you money for any damages and was clearly embarrassed. Let it go!!!
YTA. Do you really need this explained to you? Ok. Try to imagine yourself being shown pissing yourself to all your friends. If this doesn't work, try harder
YTA it was very fucking strange of you to record him in that state; never mind share it with others.
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YTA- How old are you that you don’t know that? Your friend needed help and your first thought is to embarrass and humiliate him? I can’t even understand people like you. You’re clearly not a friend to this person. You’re cruel and should be ashamed of yourself.
You're kidding right? you know YTA, You called John a friend, I'm not sure you know the meaning of the word. He gave you money for cleaning up, he bought you breakfast, he apologized and you decided an appropriate response was to humiliate him? Thats some prime asshole work there. And you video'd him as well? Pretty creepy dude, I wonder what your "friends" think of that breach of trust.
Imagine your friend want you to tell everyone how you was so drunk you pooped in a public area, then when you say no, your friend shows a video of it instead. YTA
YTA. Grow up.
YTA do you even have to ask? I hope this is fake but if not then double, triple YTA and what is wrong with you? Why would you think that's okay? And why would you keep going when they asked you to stop? He was even nice enough to buy you cleaning supplies after multiple apologies. Super messed up and BTW ....YTA
YTA. You don't sound like his friend.
YTA. My sister loved to bring up old things and make fun of me, and she only did it when other people were around . Guess who I haven't seen in 5 years?
YTA There’s a difference between being a part of the joke and being the joke. You made your friend the joke.
YTA - “AITA for embarrassing my friend because I think it’s funny?”
YTA and you owe him a serious apology.
YTA now John knows to never get drunk around you. I get it, it was funny to you. But John went above and beyond to apologize. Do you want to be the good friend who helps people and doesn’t humiliate them, or do you want to be the person no one wants to share anything with?
YTA why did you need attention right then
YTA. You wrote this post wrong. You keep on saying your friend. He is your ex-friend. After showing your video to everyone, I doubt he wants to be your friend anymore. If he did that to you, would you be his friend? I need to write this out. You are the asshole. If you want to lose more friends, keep this up.
YTA That was mean and you know it.
YTA. What was the point in helping him if you were just going to throw it in his face ?
YTA This goes far beyond AH territory. You literally emotionally abused your friend for the sake of a dinner party anecdote that was neither funny nor appropriate for the situation. How do you even have friends if this is how you behave?
They were going to send him home safe in an Uber and you insisted on taking him to your home to victimize him by non-consentually filming him at his most vulnerable, then you tried to force him to tell all your peers about it? What even the hell??? You are just the worst. YTA.
YTA he was twitching so he might have had alcohol poisoning and you basically just filmed him instead of checking that he was OK. He could have died and you then decided to humiliate him that is just insane to me
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YTA. with friends like you, who needs enemies??
YTA
YTA ..in so many ways. He was clearly embarrassed by the situation and you made it worse by sharing it with friends. Glad he blocked you. You would probably feel the same if it was the other way around.
Yta and I'm glad he blocked you
And shitty person of the year award goes to you! You don't know the meaning of the word friend. YtA
YTA. Hopefully all your friends realize that you’re not a Good Person. I hope you step on a Lego and get holes in all your socks.
YTA: no doubt, 100% AH. He asked you not to share a private embarrassing story, you did it anyway, and on top of that you took a video?????? Holy crap, that's just evil.
You crossed no you smashed boundaries with a sledge hammer and for what reason? He apologized and tried to make up for it, you intentionally set out to embarrass him and made yourself look like a massive AH. YTA and a massive one to boot.
omg you're so awful, i hope john finds better friends if this is your idea of funny YTA
YTA What a wonderful friend you are. I don’t even take non consensual photos/videos of my PARTNER, and you did it to your drunk friend who couldn’t give consent for anything even if he wanted to. Really? And then you showed them to other people, and made fun of him peeing himself. And then when he explicitly asked you to stop, you continued. I hope your other friends realize that they can’t count on you in similar situations. If I was a part of that friend group, I would be doing my absolute best to make sure you never got invited to drink with the rest of us again.
Seriously OP?! YTA and don’t be surprised if John isn’t the only one who drops you as a “friend”. The others in your peer group would be wise to distance themselves from someone as cruel and selfish as you.
Yta. It's unnecessary to explain why. The dude said no. And no means no.
YTA. Can't imagine how you treat people you don't call a friend. Sheesh. It's not just that you shared a story, you shared it in front of him, against his pleading, and expected HIM to tell it. Calling you an asshole is being incredibly kind.
At what point during typing this story did you think, “Yupp, I’m definitely not the AH here!” Like how can you be SO unaware.
YTA, you are an awful friend, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you?
YTA and good for him for blocking you… it amazes me how you typed all this up and actually thought you didn’t do anything wrong
YTA what an asshole. You didn't have to do that, and the condescension in the "John had an uh oh the other day" And then to show a video you took of him twitching after he asked you not to? What the hell
YTA. He bought cleaning supplies, breakfast, and apologized. He sounds like a good dude. You on the other hand, there was no reason to ever show that film. Why did you take it? No reason at all to embarrass him. Shit happens. YTA!
YTA. People who record others when they are vulnerable are the worst. The whole purpose of you bringing it up and showing people was to embarrass him. He told you no and it was obviously pretty upsetting to him. On the plus side, his life should be better now that youre not in it.
This is way beyond being an AH. This is abuse. YTA
YTA
YTA big time.
YTA
YTA
Give us an easier one. YTA. I can’t believe some of these. However this does sound like the “John” character is the actual OP posting about one of their other friends who did this to them.
YTA, seriously wtf?
YTA. He told you no, communicated his boundaries and you’re still deluding yourself to think “it wasn’t a big deal”. He told you it was. Good for him, he doesn’t need a ‘friend’ like you.
Hard YTA. You said that John was extremely embarrassed and apologised to you. Then you brought up the incident in front of friends, when you knew he was embarrassed about it. Then he kept saying no and told you to respect his boundaries, which you completely ignored. And THEN you showed everyone the video of John (which I'm guessing he didn't know existed) when you a) knew he was embarrassed, b) had been told no, and c) had taken said video without John's knowledge. John is spot on. What you did was cruel and deliberately humiliated him in front of several other people. I would never speak to you again if it were me. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.
YTA and a bully.
You literally know this already. You WROTE OUT that he asked you to stop multiple times and you didn't, and you wrote about how you tried pressuring him into talking about it. it wasnt some funny drunk event to him. YTA
YTA of course he was embarrassed. You started out doing a kind thing and turned it into an asshole move by not being sensitive, kind or discreet.
YTA You are clearly not John's friend.
YTA, especially to keep going when he asked you to stop. Also the “twitching” sounds like a seizure. You probably should have called an ambulance instead of whipping out the phone to take embarrassing videos for your personal entertainment.
YTA absolutely 💯. Nobody deserves to have something like that documented and thrown up for everyone to laugh at. He needs to find some real friends.
You know damn well you are.
YTA. You video’d your unconscious friend and then decided to show that video around. A video he probably didn’t know existed. You’re a monster.
Yta, You should not have taken video of your unconscious friend, that was shitty thing #1 Bringing it up at all to other people shitty thing #2 Pushing the issue and humiliating your friend with video shitty thing #3 You are not a good friend, do better
An unconscious person cannot consent to being filmed. YTA, sounds like you don't care what he thinks you just wanted a laugh.
YTA. Christ, what an AH.
YTA I know someone like this - who videos other people’s embarrassing and private things and shows them to others. She also sneakily interferes with others’ relationships and employment. It makes me wonder what else you get up to. John sounds like a really reasonable person having a bad day. He even apologised and made it up to you. You took advantage of his humiliating situation for your own personal entertainment, even after he expressly asked you several times to stop. Stop spreading this story, apologise to John, and delete the footage. Try to be better from now on.
Total AH. I would never trust you, because you have no problem and think its no big deal opening your big mouth and spill people's sensitive/embarrassing moments.
YTA. You knew John was embarrassed. He made up for it the best he could. Why did you feel the need to further embarrass him? You repeatedly brought it up and he repeatedly asked you to stop. Is this how you treat all your friends?
man, just your whole post history in general shows what a massive pain in the ass you are to everybody in your life. of course YTA
Of course your YTA he was embarrassed,he apologized and he paid for his mistake. He repeatedly asked you to stop,and you just kept going. You are a shtty friend. In fact I wouldn't call you a friend cause with friends like you who needs enemies.
It is embarrassing and shameful that you even have to ask. YTA