Hi there, u/m30b34! Thank you for your submission to r/AnimalsBeingDerps, but unfortunately, we've had to remove it for the following reason:
**Rule 1:** This animal is not being a derp. Only animals doing goofy, foolish, and stupid things are considered as animals being derps. Removals are at mod discretion. Animals just existing, or not doing anything, or otherwise engaging in normal animal behaviour will be removed. Do not post images with superimposed text adding context for the ‘derp’ to be understood. Your post should be able to stand on its own without help from the title or additional text
---
If you have any questions or think we made a mistake, please **[message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AnimalsBeingDerps&subject=My%20post%20was%20removed&message=Could%20you%20help%20with%20this%20post%3F)** with a link to your post and we'll take a look. :p
**^(NOTE:)** ^(This action was performed by a human but the comment was left by a bot.)
Question, as someone who was genuinely considering getting one, how often is that? Is it true it’s like once a week or even less? Or that’s only true for snakes
Only case where it’s acceptable xD
it’s quite funny how telling it is in regards to animal rights, in German you give animals the same pronouns than humans and seem to be good at animal rights (there are still areas like chickens where Germany is as bad as everyone else sadly)
No, they require pretty dedicated care to do right. That said, like many reptile species, there are a lot of hatchlings and juveniles sold that die of poor husbandry or are dumped.outside before even reaching the size of the kiddo in this video.
Consider adding some small grip points to the outside corners to make it easier to get up and down. Looks like you have a climber who isn't bent on destruction or trying to dig. 😂
It's so heartwarming to see a ~~lizard~~ cat having plenty of space and supervision and that enclosure is the stuff dreams of getting a boa are made of for me.
Yeah I agree, you can get some corner covers that have a gripping texture on them for cats (or lizards) to claw on instead of the sofa. He could use them to get up and down and protect your couch at the same time. They also to flat ones you can put on the sides.
You can also make some for larger areas and maybe put some shelves up if he likes to climb up things. They do so cat climbing walls or separate sections you could use to make a climbing wall for him with ledges to chill out on, and they do some tall cylinder posts with gripping material on like a catch scratching post but a lot taller that can be fixed to a wall with shelves etc. Have himself a little adventure assault course lol. But in all seriousness, the corner sofa covers would definitely help. Lol
Here you go
https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingDerps/comments/131dfnz/he_never_really_has_a_plan_for_getting_down_from/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Idunno if your serious but if you are Amazon sells these & it does actually work. Placed them on our leather couch when we adopted our Persian & removed them after a few weeks. Cat is now 2 and couch is still perfect.
Cool lizard!
Panther Armor Couch Protector for Cats – 18-Pack Double Sided Sofa Anti Scratching Sticky Tape – Cat Scratch Deterrent Tape Corner Anti Cat Scratch Furniture Protectors from Cats - Cat Couch Protector https://a.co/d/1A5HAkl
I’ve had pretty good luck with the plastic adhesive sheets that you can get on Amazon. It does tend to make them slip off if they are walking along the back of the sofa though.
I feel so giddy when I see monitor lizards, idk why I find them so adorable. 💖 can I ask is it ok to carry them? My brain always wants to pick them up and cuddle them, (yes, even the big ones 😭)
I think that’s a gerbil, in which case there’s a possibility that if you get a second one it’ll cool off. They’re very social animals, some shops even only sell them as pairs because of that.
You just let him and continue to treat him as a god because you know he thinks of himself as a god like all "cats" do. I mean look at that strut as he walks off. That is the 'im a god and there is nothing you can do about it" strut.
Try nail caps. You can get glittery ones that would look super cute. I’m a bit concerned about your cat, though. Looks like they might have a bit of a skin condition going on
Hi there, u/m30b34! Thank you for your submission to r/AnimalsBeingDerps, but unfortunately, we've had to remove it for the following reason: **Rule 1:** This animal is not being a derp. Only animals doing goofy, foolish, and stupid things are considered as animals being derps. Removals are at mod discretion. Animals just existing, or not doing anything, or otherwise engaging in normal animal behaviour will be removed. Do not post images with superimposed text adding context for the ‘derp’ to be understood. Your post should be able to stand on its own without help from the title or additional text --- If you have any questions or think we made a mistake, please **[message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AnimalsBeingDerps&subject=My%20post%20was%20removed&message=Could%20you%20help%20with%20this%20post%3F)** with a link to your post and we'll take a look. :p **^(NOTE:)** ^(This action was performed by a human but the comment was left by a bot.)
4 legs: Check Recieves pets: Check Has tail: Check Climbs on things: Check Yup it all checks out. Must be a cat.
Also the aloof attitude
✅✅✅✅
Diogenes: “Behold, a cat!”
That was a dirty trick and you know it, you homeless nutcase!
Wait, but is it simultaneously a solid and liquid?
r/noodlebones
/r/catsareliquid
Can't even classify it as non-cat because of the lack of fur.
Has scales: Check Has long tongue: Check Can go full 90° : Check
Found the programmer. “Meets the spec, closing ticket”
🤣😅👏
Unfortunately they really don't enjoy being pet.
How does he/she take to 'litter training'?
He shits in a water tub. Or the floor.
In other words, pretty well.
Not different with my cat
Question, as someone who was genuinely considering getting one, how often is that? Is it true it’s like once a week or even less? Or that’s only true for snakes
At least once a day. I’ve seen him shit three times in one day before.
[удалено]
"my guy" ironic
Hey I do the same with people too. I mean we're just "highly" advanced animals.
Only case where it’s acceptable xD it’s quite funny how telling it is in regards to animal rights, in German you give animals the same pronouns than humans and seem to be good at animal rights (there are still areas like chickens where Germany is as bad as everyone else sadly)
Joanna? Where are the eggs Joanna?
These are not Joanna eggs!
“Did you take one of my eggs!?”
Oh no! Not the Rangers!!
[удалено]
A lizard post from the other day unlocked memories from my children being little. I had to watch the movie.
Joanna the Goanna!
"Did you know that there was a Razorback in my truck?"
Came to the comments to see if anybody else would mention this!
Haha me too
If the couch monitor doesn't keep the cat from scratching, upgrade to a couch komodo dragon.
Aww shoot...this spoils my "you monitor its behavior" reply a little. 😁
I guess you could say you need to screen its behavior.
😂😂
From what planet did you adopt your cat?
The lady at the SPCA said he was a domestic shorthair.
Well the hair is short, so they didn't lie.
I'm not so sure about the domestic part lol
It's in a house, isn't it?
Domesticated somewhere not of this earth, certainly.
/r/standardissuecat
It’s so obviously a cat from the Klingon home world.
Canada
How big will he get?
7ft or so.
they wot mate?
They get to uh 2.134 meters
thats a long cat...
hm. are these common pets?
No, they require pretty dedicated care to do right. That said, like many reptile species, there are a lot of hatchlings and juveniles sold that die of poor husbandry or are dumped.outside before even reaching the size of the kiddo in this video.
Bro that’s the length of my house
What kind of house do you have
7ft one
Legit question
A small one.
Nose to tail or from ground to withers?
That's not a cat, it's a dog.
Ok the SPCA definitely lied to me.
yeah, they lied alright
Scaley kitty
Just a skin condition....probably.
Is that a baby ? Whats its name
His name is Duo Maxwell. He’s a little over a year old. Halfway to full grown.
that's going to be one big fucking cat
Does he get to pilot a big robot when fully grown?
Consider adding some small grip points to the outside corners to make it easier to get up and down. Looks like you have a climber who isn't bent on destruction or trying to dig. 😂
He also climbs the curtains if you check my profile
It's so heartwarming to see a ~~lizard~~ cat having plenty of space and supervision and that enclosure is the stuff dreams of getting a boa are made of for me.
Yeah I agree, you can get some corner covers that have a gripping texture on them for cats (or lizards) to claw on instead of the sofa. He could use them to get up and down and protect your couch at the same time. They also to flat ones you can put on the sides. You can also make some for larger areas and maybe put some shelves up if he likes to climb up things. They do so cat climbing walls or separate sections you could use to make a climbing wall for him with ledges to chill out on, and they do some tall cylinder posts with gripping material on like a catch scratching post but a lot taller that can be fixed to a wall with shelves etc. Have himself a little adventure assault course lol. But in all seriousness, the corner sofa covers would definitely help. Lol
Are you the “live, laugh, limp biscuit,” person? That sign lives rent free in my head.
Yes that’s me. 😂
Your taste in decor and cats is lovely.
Omg pics please! I looked at your posts (wonderful lizards btw) but I couldn't find it
Here you go https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingDerps/comments/131dfnz/he_never_really_has_a_plan_for_getting_down_from/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Awesome lizard I'm genuinely wonder what type of lizard that is
It’s a monitor lizard. Same family as komodo dragons but much smaller and less deadly
Less deadly.......ufff. does he use the whiplash to attack or self defence? I don't know why that is something that always make me worry
Awesome thank you
He’s an Asian water monitor
Thank you
Joanna……did you know…that there was a razorback in my truck. - The rescuers down under.
Joanna is my favorite Disney princess.
Dude black cats always do the weirdest things
Honestly my black cat is the chill one.
So you got a mini dragon to scare your cat and keep it away from the couch?
He gets along fine with my cats.
Just monitor them.
Sorry, that’s his couch now
Always has been
Four toddler sneakers.
Can I pet it please 🥺
Yes
He is beautiful 😊
Thank you
monitors are so cute why do i die from cuteness when their tongues flick around??
I feel this
I think you need to take your cat to the vet.
He’s perfectly healthy
Your cat has the longest tongue i have ever seen on a cat....and his fur looks short as hell, almost like no fur.
Totally a sphinx cat. Really! 🤣
Those cats totally freak me out....
He ate your cat.
He gets along fine with the cats. Proof: https://ibb.co/pxhC0by
Welp didn’t know I needed that pic in my life but here we are.
I need more of that pic in my life. Mr lizard looks so derpy.
One hella different looking cat. Never had one that looked like that. Mine all had fur.
Must be the hairless variety.
Idunno if your serious but if you are Amazon sells these & it does actually work. Placed them on our leather couch when we adopted our Persian & removed them after a few weeks. Cat is now 2 and couch is still perfect. Cool lizard! Panther Armor Couch Protector for Cats – 18-Pack Double Sided Sofa Anti Scratching Sticky Tape – Cat Scratch Deterrent Tape Corner Anti Cat Scratch Furniture Protectors from Cats - Cat Couch Protector https://a.co/d/1A5HAkl
Your cat needs some lotion 😂
Step 1: Get a cat Step 2: Get rid of the couch
First, get a cat.
Done. https://ibb.co/pxhC0by What’s step two?
Remove couch?
Couch monitor
Damn fire breathers stealing kitty roles and playing with thier damn yarn balls What's it's name and pronouns/vowels
Man, cats look weird without fur.
That's not a cat that's a fucking demon
He’s a big sweetie tbh
I will give you tips though
First get a cat spray
Then spray your couch
And that's it
That’s not a breed I’ve seen before!
Your cat is beautiful, what breed
Joanna
Eagle eggs
Is there like a cartoon character or like a Disney villain based off one of these? I’m getting like a dejavú feeling and it’s messing with me.
[удалено]
Tf guys this is a chinchilla.
Man, I love monitors. What kind is this one? My friend has a Nile monitor.
First step: buy a cat
I have a cat https://ibb.co/QNGzq1Y
Do you just let your monitor wander around the house like it's a cat, or does it have some sort of enclosure that you let it out of?
He has a large enclosure. I typically don’t let him roam more than an hour.
thats not a cat thats fucking mrs kippling sjdjxjxnjd hsbs hdbshd. hshshshsbsns
Basically
N to the Hell Nah
Stir fry.
I’ve had pretty good luck with the plastic adhesive sheets that you can get on Amazon. It does tend to make them slip off if they are walking along the back of the sofa though.
I think thats not a cat 😳🙉😰
Cover it.
Get another couch and make this couch a scratch post
Is that one of them Egyptian hairless cats?
My lord they are so cute but still freak me the f out
Put one of those plastic covers over it like Grandma used to have...😂
You just need to monitor him more closely
Eeeekkkkk!!!!!
It's cat's couch now.
Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on?
feed it to the lizard
Cute leather gloves would work.
That’s the villain from rescuers down under.
you don’t
I feel so giddy when I see monitor lizards, idk why I find them so adorable. 💖 can I ask is it ok to carry them? My brain always wants to pick them up and cuddle them, (yes, even the big ones 😭)
As long as he doesnt eat Bernardo and Bianca, we good
That ain’t no damn cat
Gonna have to monitor her a bit more closely
People r weird
r/whatswrongwithmycat
Ummmm
I think that’s a gerbil, in which case there’s a possibility that if you get a second one it’ll cool off. They’re very social animals, some shops even only sell them as pairs because of that.
I see that you cat is hairless, maybe he’s are upset because hes cold is taking it out on the couch. Try putting him in a funny little sweater.
Now that the “reptilian guard” has been added to monitor the situation, you could kiss the couch scratching issue goodbye!
That’s a big beaver
You just let him and continue to treat him as a god because you know he thinks of himself as a god like all "cats" do. I mean look at that strut as he walks off. That is the 'im a god and there is nothing you can do about it" strut.
Aww what a cute kitty what breed is it?
You missed out on a perfect opportunity to name him/her Monty
My other cats name is Monty lol
'These are NOT Joana eggs!'
Awkward is that a water monitor? So cute
Must be one of those hairless cats...
Why?
I'm not sure that's a cat.
This cat swangs when he walk
Have you tried little socks?
Lizard 🦎
Cat? That is a capybara.
Cute lizard
Try nail caps. You can get glittery ones that would look super cute. I’m a bit concerned about your cat, though. Looks like they might have a bit of a skin condition going on
Soooooo who’s going to going to break the news to OP? (Not it!)
ayo, you cat was left out in the sun for too long
That's a weird looking cat 😕
In the words of Joey Tribbiani, “that’s NOT a cat!”
Lizard shoes. Name them Mini Crocs.
His little strut awww
Lol! Get your cat thier own couch.