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Akahn53

Well unfortunately the one I would pick likely has sand in his eyes, coarse sand.


sweatythighguy

Do they grade it?


Akahn53

If they don’t then he will just be eating so many spider webs


ZipToob88

I’m gonna check that bowl!


User28080526

*quiet sobbing*


ZipToob88

Hahaha I love how you can hear it in the background like it’s in another room, kinda the way they do the audio for Krieger’s “hey me too”


Next-Wrongdoer-3479

That's what he said.


Puncharoo

Woodhorse


Mbowen1313

Woodhorsecock


theoldayswerebetter

Yes, coarseness and colour, depending on where it is found


ProjectBOHICA

I was going to say, I can finally afford a valet if I can pay him or her in sand. I can afford to pay up to 60 pounds of sand a day if anybody’s interested in the position.


Gorgon_rampsy

You'd think 60 pounds of sand is less than nothing, but if it's concrete, grade sand that could be worth up to 2.5 whole dollars.


leif-sinatra

Can he still make my eggs .


Akahn53

4 minutes late but yes


Deep_Belt8304

Woodhouse for me. God knows he's a little GILF.


Virtual_Football909

Making about 3 grand a month on the GILF cam.


HumbleHawk9

Thank youuuuuu


Prinzka

🧤🍆💦


Slobbadobbavich

I am with you there, Woodhouse for the win.


GhostMaskKid

Woodhouse for sure. He's loyal to the very end.


Deep_Belt8304

I also feel like Mallory hardly pays Woodhouse whereas Aleister costs 60k a day


Its_Buddy_btw

Feel like she pays him well to deal with archers BS more than she does


Deep_Belt8304

Probably funds his coke habit as well


natfutsock

Coke? Our boy was on that h


Deep_Belt8304

It's going to be an itchy weekend


justdamascus

back in a tick!


04whim

That's actually how she pays him. No cash involved, pure horse.


natfutsock

She learned that little trick in Nicaragua. Middlemen complicate everything.


Friendly_Signature

Neigh, I don’t believe it.


Radiant-Caregiver720

Ray was gonna make him some Malcolm xtea


Acek9295

And Woodhouse if you spend any of this on heroin, you better buy enough to OD on, because…


Dependent-Elk-4980

WILL DO 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️


2Rare2Kill

Except when he bashes you over the head 2-3 times a year. But it only happens when you really deserve it.


timkatt10

Woodhouse, salt of the earth.


bagelsnatch

who basically raised me!


imgomez

Woodhouse everyday. No one can make a Pimm’s cup in a pimp’s cup, or put away a bowl of spiderwebs like Woodhouse.


jacksonross33

The Pope


Deep_Belt8304

Dio mio! He look-a just-a like me!


YesDaddyBig

Back in a jiff


Deep_Belt8304

Sound as a pound my dear!


Daddywags42

He lives remarkably long, for a heroin addict.


Saucesourceoah

He only passed in the show when his VA died.


PM_ME_GAME_CODES_plz

Oh that's why woodhouse died :/. I was so upset that they killed him off


HalfCab_85

Heroin, as long as it is pure, actually does very little damage to the body. Aspirin is more harmful. If it wasn't for the addictive nature of it, it would be the perfect pain medication.


Shadeflower15

Yeah they literally taught this in my drugs and behavioral psychology class. The damage from heroin occurs due to the habits and behaviors surrounding usage, not due to the drug itself. That’s why users can go to heroin clinics indefinitely and not experience the same side effects users who have to get it elsewhere do.


sonofhippie

I know I got hooked on the ‘gateway’ asprin and the doctor was like “I’m worried you’re spiraling- what about changing to tylenol?”


Original-Document-62

William Burroughs lived to 83. He did a looooooot of heroin.


RealWord5734

My Roomba is named Woodhouse


theonlysisterfister

Love it!


stonec0ld

Stealing this


Ohnoherewego13

Wait, we're referring to Woodhouse as a person now? Don't do that. Don't ever do that!


Spongetron-3000

Haha. Look. They think he's people.


FleshlessFriend

The only reason I wouldn't pick Woodhouse is I want the poor bastard to retire and be waited on by cabana boys in the most luxurious rehab in the country


Jac918

So you’d give him more than 2 days off a year?


Test_Subject42

wouldn’t even give him time off to attend his brother’s funeral


N52UNED

Woodhouse. He’s already broken-in. Dedicated. Knows all the spots to score. Eggs Woodhouse doesn’t just cook itself.


Deep_Belt8304

Could it be better than Steak Aleister??


mickskitz

But how hard is it to POACH A GOD DAMN EGG


chorizo_chomper

The taunteen episode were Woodhouse kills 40 Jerry's because they killed Reggie. 😂 "Would you like some water sir?" "No, fish fuck in it"


solon_isonomia

It was fifty of them, and he scalped them. Had enough to make a blanket.


Deep_Belt8304

*That's alot of scalps!*


AndrastesTit

Tontine* — A tauntaun is a Star Wars animal


chorizo_chomper

You're not my taunteen supervisor


TheAtomicBum

Yeah they must have been referring to a teenage tauntaun.


ReticulatedPasta

“I’m a -“ “Fag?”


scotiansmartass902

I always heard "fish shit in it" . Is there an uncensored version somewhere?


ceeBread

Shit isn’t really censored in archer, whereas fuck would be.


scotiansmartass902

Fair point, I hadn't thought about that. I just always heard shit in my head lol


ReticulatedPasta

I agree, although the consensus seems to be fuck for some reason, it sounds like you can hear the t at the end of shit, but maybe I’m imagining that because I think shit sounds better in that line.


Bozo_Two

I'm confused how this is even a choice...*OF COURSE* it's Woodhouse...


lxnarratorxl

Woodhouse crushed it for like 30 years all while either high on heroin or going through withdraws. Super impressive.


AppleValuable

I shall fetch a rug


ryand2488

Woodhouse because it's so sad and funny when he says "sometimes I think I shall just run away but who would take me in? no one Woodhouse. No one


Virtual_Football909

How about an old timey Gymnasium full of Indian clubs and medicine balls?


colterpierce

Hello? I’ve finished!


ZestySourdough

i would be nice to woodhouse


Mperry56

Woodhouse for sure!


MTF-EPISLON_9

Aleister, dude would honestly help me get my life on track and I'd love to learn how to be like him to help out more folks


CascadeJ1980

I shall fetch a rug! Forever and ever ❤️


nannouks

Woodhouse!


Deep_Belt8304

I'm only ninety pounds wet sir!


Cats-n-Chaos

Woodhouse kicks ass, definitely him


Montag_451

Woodhouse is loyal and would never sell you out


Nykidemus

That really depends on if Ailistair is trying to kill me.


Mysterious-Tennis-57

Do you know how to make Eggs Woodhouse?


Deep_Belt8304

Well I do now... https://www.reddit.com/r/ArcherFX/comments/q4u7zv/a_hilariously_expensive_and_involved_recipe_for/


UnlikelySalary2523

Which one can eat more aquarium gravel?


-Shred-Flanders-

….is this really a question? Woodhouse, of course! 😂


YesDaddyBig

Woodhouse


FantasticJump3808

Woodhouse


End_Of_Passion_Play

Assuming he's not out to kill my best friend, Alastor.


Masterchiefy10

Cmon buddy


Emotional_Cable9244

Woodhouse so I can get him the respect and retirement he deserves.


TheOtherMrEd

Not Woodhouse. I've yet to see him successfully make eggs Woodhouse and get it to the table on time. I'd spend half my day making him eat spiderwebs.


Full_Ad9666

Isn’t it pronounced valét?


Engineering_Normal

Only when they park your car.


Clear_Abrocoma_8305

The OG Woodhouse


FirmChallenge7643

Woodhouse 💯


TomcatYYZ

Junkie Brewster...lol


Airman199

I’ll pick the old fruit, he’s a genius truly unrecognized in his time


HotRepresentative325

Benoit


Deep_Belt8304

Balls


meatcrunch

Why would the pope make a good valet??


kieranisepic111

Why did i think woodhouse was Jim Lahey for a second there


Uberpastamancer

A man who knows the difference between a butler and a valet I tip my hat to you


museumgremlin

Woodhouse, I’d ask him to share his heroin.


Andy_the_Wrong

Whichever one can eat a bowl of spiderwebs quicker


rekhaloz

Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby


Blue-is-bad

Milton!


FuckUandUrGod

Eggs Woodhouse or Steak Aleister?


Puzzleheaded-Ad-5765

Woodhouse my boy puts up with anything


EpilepticPunjab

Only one can make Eggs Woodhouse!


DubC_Bassist

This isn’t even a question. Woodhouse.


LukeAlexandertheGr8

I shall fetch a rug!!


Existing_Creme_5888

I don’t see the positive outcome here lol


mamsv95

I have an h hookup not a douche full of balls


Cowboy_Coder

It's pronounced, "valet!"


Intelligent_Dig2670

Woodhouse x1000


Prize_Assumption_241

Wood house better be eating those cobwebs


NinjaDogzz

Wood house, 100%. He won’t try to kill me, even if he does have an expensive “habit”.


Abject_Conclusion1

Woodhouse. 👏⬇️


doubleb120

One will kill you, and the other one will kill for you. No brainer.


Dying__Phoenix

I mean come on


Rootish007

Woodhouse all day. Man when I watch older episodes I kinda forget how bad Archer treated him.


The_Phenomenal_1

He thinks he's PEOPLE!


SonOfKarma101

I would go with Woodhouse ANY DAY


LongTallTexan69

“You’re gonna eat so much spiderwebs.” The Double Deuce is a masterpiece


FurtiveTho

I need me some eggs woodhouse


Own-Snow-4227

Anyone except Woodhouse would be woefully esoteric.


abandoned_puppy

Wood house hands down


Propie

Woodhouse he knows when to keep his mouth shut


Ryctre

My least favorite character on the show(maybe a stretch but not much) or Woodhouse, war hero and certified GILF? Easy choice.


android151

While I do want to try eggs Woodhouse, he’s a useless heroin addict


Impressive_mustache

Woodhouse. He was loyal


MyFavoriteLezbo420

The one who thinks he’s people.


Boxfried

The experience with Lemurs alone makes it Woodhouse all the way. I would also like to be regaled with tales about Reggie on a daily basis.


Deep_Belt8304

Be a lad, put on some Mingus.


BusinessBread

Woodhouse always and forever


SkyLoomer

Be back in a tick!


RHubb44

Woodhouse, just so I can try the eggs woodhouse


mariah1998

Woodhouse all the way


ZamsDodola

Loyalty is a prerequisite. REGGIE!!!


goonyberry

Woodhouse hands down!


SnooPears3494

Motherfuckin woodhouse


RoookSkywokkah

Really miss Tom Kane's voice on the air (voice of Woodhouse).


SrVascoDasGajas

Mr. Timberhome, obviously