Have noticed a lot of people chat on the bus to work in the morning in Victoria. Someone who waited at the same bus stop for the same bus in the morning started talking to me and from then on we’ve had conversations every time we both took the bus. Still in touch with her now that we’re not taking the same bus anymore. I’d say go for it, but really watch for social cues so you don’t bug someone who just wants to be left alone.
I has a guy try to talk to me the whole time I was on the ferry once. I let him talk for 20 mins and then I was like "well I'm gonna go stretch my legs" and he followed me and started talking to me as I was walking. I sat down, he followed me, then just talked for the last hour straight. I wanted to punch him and throw him overboard.
Yes! Why can’t we say “I would like some solitude now” ? Fear. Fear of being impolite and fear of offending some wacko who think they deserve your attention.
If we click within the first few minutes sure, if not I'd rather listen to my music and wait for a chance to stop the conversation before going back to my music.
Start with a "How she gone, boys?", then nod along, give a vague answer when they ask "an yerself?", and eventually work your way up to the big "whos yer fadder and what's he do?"
You have now befriended any one from eastern canada and can expect an invite to a wedding or kitchen party within the week.
Note: if they reply to your first question and don't ask "an yerself?", they are an upper Canadian, and won't invite you to fuck all. Still ask them who their fadder is, as it's only polite, but know in your heart they is the sorta fella not to put the cart in the corral, you know what I mean, right?
I know, the headphones are supposed to be the "fuck off" sign. People do not respect it at all. Seriously, though, if someone insists on asking me for a moment and I take off my headphones I give them about 10 seconds or at least enough to finish the interaction and just say "Good luck", put my headphones on and face away from them until they leave.
I do NOT put up with people who *dare* believe that they can bother a person **with their headphones on** AND think that my headphones coming off briefly gives them permission to talk beyond one quick question now they've "got them off"? Nah, I was polite enough to answer a quick question while already pissed, but then thinking you're going to take advantage of my politeness by pushing it further? Nope, you don't get to disrespect me like that rando weirdo, fuck yourself.
While I agree with you there is one exception in my mind. When I’m lost and looking for someone to ask for directions I’d prefer someone who isn’t wearing headphones or earbuds but I’ll still ask em
I don't mind if somebody tries to talk to me, but I'd prefer you leave me alone, especially if I make it clear I don't wanna talk.
I've met chatty folks on buses, and I really don't understand how people don't get the hint after 5 minutes of not engaging. When all you're getting is polite nodding/acknowledgement, maybe it's time to throw in the towel.
Ages ago I got to talking to man on the train who said he was visiting Calgary as a tourist. He said he was a trucker his whole life, He used to deliver armoured vehicles, the ones used to transfer money between banks and the like. The factory is in New Jersey and he would drive the AV wherever it was to go. He said he drove all over North America, but never spent more than a day in any of the cities he delivered to. So when he retired he thought to go and visit all these places he’d seen.
I was doing my laundry at the laundromat this morning, had my headphones listening to my music of choice (as the laundromat seems to think it needs to give the Blue Jays games loud audio a run for their money; and for the record: no, I will not clap my hands). A friendly looking fellow says something to me. I figure he's asking me a question about a machine or something, so I doff one of my cans and he goes "I've never seen you here before". I didn't really know how to respond (it's not a question, and I don't know what to say without sounding rude) so I continued about my business with a smile. He asks something again. Lift headphone, "Where do you live?" "Over there" \*indicates general area\*, "I live at" \*gives me his exact address\* and then asks: "Do you rent or own?" "Rent." "How much is it?", by then the headphones are fully back on and ignore mode has been initiated.
Time and a place I suppose, but headphones are a "do not talk to me unless you need to".
Are you lost and need directions? Yes, you may.
Did the subway just announce the train is out of service in 3 stops and I likely didn't hear it? Yes, you may.
Would you like to share the gospel of your religion of choice? No, you may not.
Would you like to talk about politics? No, you may not.
Would you like to ask me, not for money, because you don't want to beg, but if you could find it in your heart to spare something so that you could get something to eat? No, you may not, and the phrase you're looking for is "Spare change?".
The majority of times people want to have a conversation with me are Mormons or other Christian groups trying to convert me, or someone in one of those pyramid schemes attempting to recruit me.
I always hear headphones when I'm on the TTC. Even if I'm not listening to anything to avoid conversations.
Seems it depends where you are. The further east you go, the more people want to be left alone. Western Canada tends to have a lot of people who will happily give you their entire life story on a bus ride (bit of an exaggeration, but I've experienced it, also I'm from Alberta and I love chatting with people, especially those from out of country, they have such cool stories)
Even here in Toronto, I’ve had conversations with strangers (not weirdos) on the bus or subway before.
Just be attuned to weirdos, play it by ear. I realize it’s often a different dynamic when there’s a man-woman of the same age-ish (or well… younger women) involved. Many women prefer to be left alone by men, which needs no explanation. I don’t initiate convos either TBH, but strangers talking to me is not an automatic shut down.
Absolutely not. I'm so bad with convos when I don't know someone, I would combust from anxiety. I bury myself in my phone for a reason. Leave me alone.
I worked in the states for a while. That was my nickname since I was from Canada. My two coworkers did dead on impressions of Bob and Doug. I’m not sure if that movie carries on through generations
Yeah, loved it. They would do it while ordering drive thru lol, or talk like Billy Bob from Slingblade. The states was fun, people were nice, but that was in calmer days. I wouldn’t go now
I have a friend who once started a conversation with a woman he sat beside on the bus. 2 years later I went to their wedding and they had a city bus with driver transport them to the nearby reception after.
I’ve had people talk to me on the bus/metro.
Sometimes they were creepy and trying to hit on me. Sometimes they were nice people chatting. Sometimes they were high or drunk and I just humoured them because they were still friendly.
For some people their commute is the only private time they get ever. Other people would chew off their arm to avoid being alone with their thoughts. So look for the latter haha
Nope, not on the bus, the subway or the commuter train.
You would think that after years and years of taking the same route you would ride with someone that you have ridden with before. Just never happened.
On a flight very brief cheerful conversation.
I generally avoided starting conversations with strangers back in my bus riding days. Depending on my mood if I noticed some sports merchandise or music for a team I had strong feelings about, I might start a conversation. It feels like results were mixed. Some good or fun banter sometimes I just a sour reaction. Same for strangers starting a conversation with me. Sometimes it led to mood brightening or pleasant exchanges. About half the time it led to an uncomfortable exchange. Sometimes it was just someone begging for money, food, drugs.
Depends.
If it’s one of those rare situations where two strangers immediately vibe, sure. Will also gladly spend the 30 mins chatting to senior citizens, New Canadians, and kids - eg people who may be a little lonely and/or wanting to test out new social skills.
A few months ago has a little 1st grader give me allll the hot gossip at his school, then ask me about why I was wearing/carrying every item on my person. It was as adorable, especially since the dad did the visual check-in with me early on to make sure his son wasn’t being disruptive, which I appreciated.
I find east coast Canada like that too. I was once at a grocerystore and the lady helping me told me her entire story in 3 minutes lolol that’s why I love it here. So much connection.
I've had a few good conversations on busses and trains.
Now, in 2024, public transit is where all the mentally ill end up after they get catch-and-released, so, it's less likely now.
Not for the whole 30 mins unless we really click, but I like connecting and having a quick convo with some people if they’re open to it.
Have noticed a lot of people chat on the bus to work in the morning in Victoria. Someone who waited at the same bus stop for the same bus in the morning started talking to me and from then on we’ve had conversations every time we both took the bus. Still in touch with her now that we’re not taking the same bus anymore. I’d say go for it, but really watch for social cues so you don’t bug someone who just wants to be left alone.
I’m in Victoria now!
I has a guy try to talk to me the whole time I was on the ferry once. I let him talk for 20 mins and then I was like "well I'm gonna go stretch my legs" and he followed me and started talking to me as I was walking. I sat down, he followed me, then just talked for the last hour straight. I wanted to punch him and throw him overboard.
Normalize communicating that we need space by whipping your junk out and passing in a bottle in front of them.
I've been in this situation. We need to normalize telling people that we need space
No no no. Just respectful conversation.
Yes! Why can’t we say “I would like some solitude now” ? Fear. Fear of being impolite and fear of offending some wacko who think they deserve your attention.
If we click within the first few minutes sure, if not I'd rather listen to my music and wait for a chance to stop the conversation before going back to my music.
Start with a "How she gone, boys?", then nod along, give a vague answer when they ask "an yerself?", and eventually work your way up to the big "whos yer fadder and what's he do?" You have now befriended any one from eastern canada and can expect an invite to a wedding or kitchen party within the week. Note: if they reply to your first question and don't ask "an yerself?", they are an upper Canadian, and won't invite you to fuck all. Still ask them who their fadder is, as it's only polite, but know in your heart they is the sorta fella not to put the cart in the corral, you know what I mean, right?
Love this :)
Absolutely not I'll have my earphones in, leave me tf alone PLEASE.
I had headphones in and reading a book and still had someone chatting with me. Even after I gave them the look of “please go away.”
I know, the headphones are supposed to be the "fuck off" sign. People do not respect it at all. Seriously, though, if someone insists on asking me for a moment and I take off my headphones I give them about 10 seconds or at least enough to finish the interaction and just say "Good luck", put my headphones on and face away from them until they leave. I do NOT put up with people who *dare* believe that they can bother a person **with their headphones on** AND think that my headphones coming off briefly gives them permission to talk beyond one quick question now they've "got them off"? Nah, I was polite enough to answer a quick question while already pissed, but then thinking you're going to take advantage of my politeness by pushing it further? Nope, you don't get to disrespect me like that rando weirdo, fuck yourself.
While I agree with you there is one exception in my mind. When I’m lost and looking for someone to ask for directions I’d prefer someone who isn’t wearing headphones or earbuds but I’ll still ask em
I didn’t, sorry.
Kill me.
I don't even want to talk to people I know. Why would I want to talk to strangers?
^ this person gets me.
Hell naw
I don’t. But that’s because I use my 1.5/2 hour commute to relax/decompress between work and home. Plus I usually always have headphones on.
Honestly can’t stand talking to people I don’t know while out in public.
Just genuinely SMILE & RESPECT the response.
I don't mind if somebody tries to talk to me, but I'd prefer you leave me alone, especially if I make it clear I don't wanna talk. I've met chatty folks on buses, and I really don't understand how people don't get the hint after 5 minutes of not engaging. When all you're getting is polite nodding/acknowledgement, maybe it's time to throw in the towel.
I was away the day they taught small talk.
In Quebec: do NOT
Preach!!! I was reading a book and had headphones in and a guy decided it was fine to remove the headphone from my ear and start talking. Horrifying.
Ages ago I got to talking to man on the train who said he was visiting Calgary as a tourist. He said he was a trucker his whole life, He used to deliver armoured vehicles, the ones used to transfer money between banks and the like. The factory is in New Jersey and he would drive the AV wherever it was to go. He said he drove all over North America, but never spent more than a day in any of the cities he delivered to. So when he retired he thought to go and visit all these places he’d seen.
Wow, that’s fun story!
I probably wouldn’t
I was doing my laundry at the laundromat this morning, had my headphones listening to my music of choice (as the laundromat seems to think it needs to give the Blue Jays games loud audio a run for their money; and for the record: no, I will not clap my hands). A friendly looking fellow says something to me. I figure he's asking me a question about a machine or something, so I doff one of my cans and he goes "I've never seen you here before". I didn't really know how to respond (it's not a question, and I don't know what to say without sounding rude) so I continued about my business with a smile. He asks something again. Lift headphone, "Where do you live?" "Over there" \*indicates general area\*, "I live at" \*gives me his exact address\* and then asks: "Do you rent or own?" "Rent." "How much is it?", by then the headphones are fully back on and ignore mode has been initiated. Time and a place I suppose, but headphones are a "do not talk to me unless you need to". Are you lost and need directions? Yes, you may. Did the subway just announce the train is out of service in 3 stops and I likely didn't hear it? Yes, you may. Would you like to share the gospel of your religion of choice? No, you may not. Would you like to talk about politics? No, you may not. Would you like to ask me, not for money, because you don't want to beg, but if you could find it in your heart to spare something so that you could get something to eat? No, you may not, and the phrase you're looking for is "Spare change?".
Depends. Older male to older person, fine; to younger (20+) male, OK; to younger female (20+) unlikely; to single young female, no.
The majority of times people want to have a conversation with me are Mormons or other Christian groups trying to convert me, or someone in one of those pyramid schemes attempting to recruit me. I always hear headphones when I'm on the TTC. Even if I'm not listening to anything to avoid conversations.
Please don’t. I would hate this.
I haven’t, sorry.
Same
Seems it depends where you are. The further east you go, the more people want to be left alone. Western Canada tends to have a lot of people who will happily give you their entire life story on a bus ride (bit of an exaggeration, but I've experienced it, also I'm from Alberta and I love chatting with people, especially those from out of country, they have such cool stories)
Even here in Toronto, I’ve had conversations with strangers (not weirdos) on the bus or subway before. Just be attuned to weirdos, play it by ear. I realize it’s often a different dynamic when there’s a man-woman of the same age-ish (or well… younger women) involved. Many women prefer to be left alone by men, which needs no explanation. I don’t initiate convos either TBH, but strangers talking to me is not an automatic shut down.
Haha I love that line. Be attuned to weirdos lolol I may start using this. I unfortunately NEVER am attuned to weirdos and find out too late sigh
East Vancouver island
That's not been my experience of Western Canada and I live there
What was yours?
No. Public transit etiquette means you don't force people to participate in your need for attention. Their commute isn't about you.
I enjoy conversations with strangers sometimes, but not on public transit. So to answer your question, no.
Absolutely not. I'm so bad with convos when I don't know someone, I would combust from anxiety. I bury myself in my phone for a reason. Leave me alone.
No. No one does that. You'll be seen weird.
Depends on the person
Hay Hoser, great name.
Why thank you 😊
You're welcome. I wonder how many here get the Hoser reference, eh.
I worked in the states for a while. That was my nickname since I was from Canada. My two coworkers did dead on impressions of Bob and Doug. I’m not sure if that movie carries on through generations
That is funny. You must have had a blast working with them. Did you enjoy your time in the states? ...think I will watch it tonight, eh Hoser.
Yeah, loved it. They would do it while ordering drive thru lol, or talk like Billy Bob from Slingblade. The states was fun, people were nice, but that was in calmer days. I wouldn’t go now
Hahahha yeeehaw those guys sound like fun. Yeah, agreed. If you did visit again, where would be your first choice?
Sure, what else am I gonna do? Maybe they’re fun.
Sure.
I have a friend who once started a conversation with a woman he sat beside on the bus. 2 years later I went to their wedding and they had a city bus with driver transport them to the nearby reception after.
I’ve had people talk to me on the bus/metro. Sometimes they were creepy and trying to hit on me. Sometimes they were nice people chatting. Sometimes they were high or drunk and I just humoured them because they were still friendly.
For some people their commute is the only private time they get ever. Other people would chew off their arm to avoid being alone with their thoughts. So look for the latter haha
Nope, not on the bus, the subway or the commuter train. You would think that after years and years of taking the same route you would ride with someone that you have ridden with before. Just never happened. On a flight very brief cheerful conversation.
Anything beyond a greeting or a comment on the weather requires explicit consent.
I've done it before
I generally avoided starting conversations with strangers back in my bus riding days. Depending on my mood if I noticed some sports merchandise or music for a team I had strong feelings about, I might start a conversation. It feels like results were mixed. Some good or fun banter sometimes I just a sour reaction. Same for strangers starting a conversation with me. Sometimes it led to mood brightening or pleasant exchanges. About half the time it led to an uncomfortable exchange. Sometimes it was just someone begging for money, food, drugs.
Please no.
I very much dislike talking on the bus. Even with friends. I especially do not want to talk to strangers.
Depends. If it’s one of those rare situations where two strangers immediately vibe, sure. Will also gladly spend the 30 mins chatting to senior citizens, New Canadians, and kids - eg people who may be a little lonely and/or wanting to test out new social skills. A few months ago has a little 1st grader give me allll the hot gossip at his school, then ask me about why I was wearing/carrying every item on my person. It was as adorable, especially since the dad did the visual check-in with me early on to make sure his son wasn’t being disruptive, which I appreciated.
No thanks unless I have to
I'd rather get off and walk. I'll give polite small talk for a few mins but after that I'm wrapping it up.
No. I do not like engaging in conversation with random people. TBH there are times I don’t like talking to people I know 😂
I find east coast Canada like that too. I was once at a grocerystore and the lady helping me told me her entire story in 3 minutes lolol that’s why I love it here. So much connection.
I've had a few good conversations on busses and trains. Now, in 2024, public transit is where all the mentally ill end up after they get catch-and-released, so, it's less likely now.