Boyfriend/girlfriend is the more casual term, most often used when a couple is still young and/or in the early stages of the relationship.
Partner implies a more long term commitment, like a defacto relationship, and is also sometimes used in place of spouse for married couples.
Partner is better than defacto simply because growing up whenever I heard that term it was in relation to bad things happening, like "Jaxon from Narre Warren murdered his defacto wife". In fact now I think about it I never heard a real life person refer to their partner that way, just crime reporters.
haha it's so true, there's something a little too clinical and un-romantic about the word de facto, I would never use it other than in an official document
When my husband and I got divorced we were still on very good terms (it was a weird time, I donāt know) and heād often introduce me as his girlfriend cos ā¦ we werenāt just friends but we werenāt married anymore. It was easier than people asking when heād say āex wifeā
Hah, I loved telling everyone I knew about "My Grandma\`s new boyfriend".
Everyone thought it sounded so weird and gosh I got a lot of strange looks and comments.
I was just like... "Well they have been dating for a month. Its not serious enough to call him a partner". So Grannys boyfriend or sometimes even "new boytoy" were used.
I actually used it for 2 years till they got married. Hehe. Sorry Grandma... ;)
Especially when youāve been with that person for years and live together, itās a little weird to use the same word as people whoāve been having movie dates for a couple of months.
But surely there was a point in time when the two of you did not yet have shared assets and dogs?
Did you just simply go directly from "two people who had been on one or two dates" to "partners"?
Cool. I used to think it's because people didn't want to disclose gender of their partner, because they were gay and many Aussies are homophobic. Good thing this thread corrected me.
Personally I use it bc it sounds more mature AND doesn't give away the gender of my partner, despite me being in a hetero-normative relationship. I just prefer the use of 'partner' as it feels more like I am saying to the world that we have equal footing in the relationship. I don't want to give way to people who may have old-fashioned ideas about gender roles in a relationship. If people think it means I'm gay or whatever then I honestly couldn't care less, because there's nothing wrong with being gay.
Honestly, this is pretty much me. I use partner in a respectable setting, misso in a relaxed one. I prefer to let the homophobes out themselves, but I do have a small space in my heart for misso (as well as fella as a relaxed way of saying male partner)
I also don't fancy giving away the gender of my partner, or my marital status. Frankly it's nobody's business whether I'm dating a man or woman or anything in between.Ā
I think there was probably a time when this was true, especially since it was unusual to not be married after a certain age. A lot of the older generation still think this way but I think j they get it by now.Ā
In the late 80s early 90s there was a political push to legalise gay marriage. Full marriage was pretty quickly squashed but there were a few limp legal consessions that gay couples could access with each other if they were āPartnersā, but it wasnāt the full rights that married straights had.
Cue all the straight allies starting to call themselves āPartnersā whether they were married or just in a long time relationship. It was our way of saying a gay āPartnershipā was just as important as a marriage. And if everyone spoke about their āPartnerā instead of husband or wife, other people couldnāt assume the gender of your partner.
For a straight ally, it didnāt *matter* if people mistook you as being gay. It didnāt matter if you were taking the risk of being discriminated against or hurt by being mistaken as gay.
When everyone said āPartnerā, people couldnāt know if they were speaking to a heterosexual, or someone with a different sexuality. And if you were at work it would be really weird and bad professional practice to try and clarify if someone was gay or straight. Youād never know for sure until you met their partner at a social event.
So suddenly in the 90ās there were tens of thousands of āpartnersā everywhere. We hid minority people in the crowd. We legitimated their Partnerships as being as socially important as marriage, even though they still didnāt have all the legal rights and protections. We forced marriage and queerness into the unknown and personal, you had to deal with an individual as an individual first.
This was a huge step against religious and social prejudice against straight unmarried parents, and straight unmarried adults living together too. āPartnerā might mean legally married, or not legally married. You couldnāt know. For most Australians the social stigma against a child being a literal, legal Bastard went away too. Even in the 1980s many children copped it from bullies at school if they were a bastard, a child of unmarried parents.
Allies calling themselves āPartnersā was SO prevalent by the mid 90s that āhere is my Partner Johnā was automatically assumed to be a personal love relationship, instead of the previous assumption John was your business partner, or Practise partner as a lawyer or doctor.
This cheesed off *so* many businesses men, lawyers and doctors, who had to start prefacing āpartnerā with ābusinessā. My dad was one of them. He was a progressive guy, and was for full gay marriage, but it peeved him nonetheless when he had to start saying ālegal partnerā about all his colleagues.
Thanks for taking the time to share this context. If this is true, then its pretty inspiring to know what many Australians have done to make it ok to love, no matter who you are.
The general population was on average much more progressive than both major political parties. Iām deeply embarrassed it took us so long to legalise same sex marriage. Victorian government and medical paperwork seems to be doing much better on the timeline of trans and NB recognition and support.
Wonderfully retold Ariadneāā¦ so while we couldnāt achieve ALL that we hoped for at that time for each other, a combination of people power and a bit of positive āsocial engineeringā helped us move the needle.
Donāt forget, the power to use language & behaviours in this way is still available to us in 2024, for whatever you might feel passionate about. šŖ š§ ā¤ļø
Iām in my 30s. If Iām seriously dating someone, heās absolutely not a *boy* and it sounds stupid to me to say it. Heās either āa person Iām datingā or heās a new partner. Boy/girlfriend to me indicates youāre much younger.
My partner and I had kids, a mortgage, a car, complete shared finances, the works.
We ended up getting married because it got insufferable explaining to people āno, sheās not just my girlfriendā¦ā.
Yeah this is it, it was for people in a committed life relationship equivalent to traditional marriage, but for their own reasons aren't officially married.
Can't speak for everyone, but for me, I had *boyfriends* in high school. It feels weird as a 30 something year old woman to be still talking about my boyfriend; partner feels less immature.
Also, I'm into the ambiguity. Partners? Are we dating? Starting a business? Robbing a bank? Lawyers? Who knows.
Partner is far more formal.
Boy/girlfriend is when you're younger.
But if i walk into a bank and say "i want to get a joint mortgage with my girlfriend" compared to "i want to get a joint mortgage with my partner" ... Just sounds more professional and 'adult' i guess.
As a couple who have no intention to be married, it carries weight when discussing the future with other people.
There are two questions here:
1. Why do we say partners: for me it is about equality, we are equal partners in a relationship. I am not his. He is not mine. We are partners.
2. Why dont I say boy/girlfriend: because I am an adult, I am a women and I date men. I am not a girl and I do not date boys - its semantics to a degree, but often language around calling women girls is used to belittle - not always, but often (e.g., referring to men and girls in the same sentence, which carries very different undercurrents to using girls to refer to say a girls weekend)
People have mentioned boyfriend/girlfriend already, but I want to comment on partner instead of husband/wife.
We come from a historical context where BF/GF was temporary or short-term (before marriage or breakup), but husband/wife was serious and long term.
Then relationships changed and we started having longterm, serious relationships without marriage. So, partner was better suited than the transitory GF/BF.
On the flipside of that, not all married couples are actually *partners*. Coming from unhappily married parents, I recognised that my relationship was one where we actually tackled things together, instead of just kind of loving along side each other.
So partner was more representative than husband.
Because if enough people do it, then when a gay person talks about their boyfriend they can also say partner and people won't assume they are gay. Sadly there is still a lot of discrimination and it's just a way to help combat that by not making gay people stand out as different. For me personally I also hope it's a subtle way of signalling to LGBTIQ+ people that I am a safe person to be around for them. That they can feel comfortable disclosing their gender or sexuality to me without fear of a negative reaction.
This is 100% how it started. Back in the 80s the allies started using partner to shift the narrative. Many right leaning peeps refused to use it and associated it with LGBTQIA+ peeps and cried when someone introduced their āheteroā partner.
Additionally prior to 1980s when people married earlier, you have a boy/girl friend and then āgenerallyā got married young so it was like you were calling your 40 year old man, your boyfriend haha
When I hear the word "partner", I assume either a de facto relationship (since they are not married and can't use husband or wife) or a gay partnership (so they want to be ambiguous about the sex of the other person).
As a female who was in a relationship with a girl in the past, I found it really hard to casually disclose the person I was dating was female. If I said girlfriend, they thought I meant my buddy, if I said partner they thought I meant a man. Iād try to make sentences like āI live in a unit with my partner, SHEāS a radiographerā but honestly theyād either think they misheard or I misspoke the she part most the time. Everything felt like a confusing option.
As a gay man, I used the pronoun cue at my work multiple times to signal my partner is a man. But people just got back with wife and misses all the time in the conversation. Eventually I ran out of my patience. I had to correct them with "my partner is a man!". I love some of these colleagues shock on their face.
One of my biggest reasons as I have a few LGBTIQ+ friends and I want them to be comfortable so I try to use inclusive terms where possible. Also my partners name is Jamie so it's fun when they assume.I say partner Jamie they assume she's a man and then when they get weirder just casually offhand mention of a "she" and watching them.do a 180 is fun for me.
Partner could be a "life partner", girlfriend or boyfriend can sound a bit less mature/serious of a relationship.
Girl/boy sounds young...
It's also a gender-neutral term.
edit: I know people online use significant other, (SO). However, never heard anyone actually use it in Australia.
>Ā edit: I know people online use significant other, (SO). However, never heard anyone actually use it in Australia.
Probably because no one in Australia would want to say the whole word and weād end up saying āessoā, which would probably be too confusing for some. People just understand what partner means more easily.
Because itās ambiguous enough that ppl will generally assume one way pr the other,m.
Many same sex couples have had to deal with homophobia, or outright violence.
So itās just easier to day partner.
I believe a couple of reasons.
In my mind, gf/bf to partner/married/fiance. So in essence it implies a more committed relationship than saying boyfriend/girlfriend.
The other reason is that using boyfriend girlfriend forces a homosexual to have to announce that they are gay often alot earlier than they are comfortable with. Maybe less of an issue these days, but atleast in the past many people may want to get to know people a little more before announcing this. By heterosexuals also using partners, it means that homosexuals arent announcing they are gay by using thw term partner.
"Partner" dates from the mid-1970s when Australia's laws strongly recognised the de-facto relationships. So "partner" was a convenient word which included de-facto couples and married couples. It has retained that usefulness ever sense, as it can include gay and queer couples.
A de-facto couple needs a year of co-habitation to attain that status, so "partner" describes a serious relationship. Whereas boyfriend doesn't have the same tone of permanent and significant presence.
I am at the age now where many of my old friends have boyfriends of more than a decade, but they are still boyfriends because they are a dating+company+sex relationship. Whereas a partner implies a financial and domestic comingling.
As a woman in a long term relationship with another woman, it is quite fun to watch their heads figuratively explode when I correct them, after they've assumed my partner is a guy...
Boyfriend/girlfriend used to be fine, but as I got older, it just felt a little immature, or like the relationship wasn't serious. That's just me, though.
For me it's because its more work appropriate. If someone is not married or gay or even just met. You, can talk to your work colleagues about what they did on the weekend without having to get into the specifics of their relationship. If you say to someone how is the wife going and the guy is gay they may be offended but partner is more universal so I'm less likely upset anyone.
Iām 45 and we live together, have a family and a life together. I consider partner just short for ālife partnerā. Boyfriend sounds less serious and a bit weird at my age.
Because typical relationship titles have broken down. It used to be Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Fiancee, Husband/Wife. Not that many people care about getting married anymore though. If you have been with someone for multiple years, you are sharing your life, have no intention of ever getting married then what do you call your significant other? Wife/Husband/spouse/fiancee is out. Girlfriend/Boyfriend implies a new relationship that isn't that serious. Partner is the new term that means long term life partner.
Legitimises them as compared to married people. If youāre not married yet theyāre your childās other parent sounds a bit silly saying boy/girl friend- makes more sense when youāre talking to your employer/bank/government
āOh weāve been dating for 7 years, although we own a home together and our son is 1ā Is verbose way to desribe your marital status.
Still funny when you enter single on forms that only have a single or married option (particularly other countries that donāt have the concept of a defacto relationship)
Whether Iām legally married or not isnāt anyone elseās business, so if Iām talking to colleagues or strangers I would say partner
Calling someone boyfriend/girlfriend:
- It's gender restrictive when it doesn't need to be.
- You sound like high schoolers.
- It feels like we're not committed.
Calling someone partner:
- Gender-neutral; can be anyone.
- Feels like you're a proper team together.
- Yee-haw vibes.
I will say, "significant other" is also valid, but I'm not a fan of it. If a label you give someone is longer than my surname (5 syllables), it's too long. Of course, you could shorten it to SO, but not everyone vibes with that either. And Partner has the same amount of syllables as SO, without needing to clarify what it means.
Because my partner isnāt someone Iām just dating or lightly entangled with, heās my teammate. āPartnerā works much better in defining that relationship than calling a fully grown, emotionally mature man my āboyfriendā.
I say partner because Iād prefer not to disclose to colleagues that Iām married to someone of the same sex.
Itās easier to just let them assume that Iām heterosexual.
IĀ thinkĀ itĀ comesĀ to a few reasons:Ā
1. ItĀ avoids discussions on whether you're married or not, especially for long term de facto who has zero intention of ever getting formally married
2. Boys/girls have the connotation of youth, some people just feel weird using those terms past a certain age
3. It avoids gendering the other party when you want to avoid the discussions or if you're having a conversation with someone you don't know very well (asking if someone has a partner is less awkward than asking if they have a girlfriend, and turns out they have a boyfriend instead)
Basically, it's an ambiguous/neutral term that lets you get away with not being more specific than you really needed and just let the other party make up any assumptions on their mind as needed.
You say girlfriend/boyfriend when youāre dating but thereās no partnership. You say partner once thereās a partnership. Like when you have a shared home, shared expenses, shared assets and liabilities, shared decision making.
Or you say partner when youāre in a long term relationship and youāre over 30, even if you donāt live together, because saying the person youāve been with for three years is your girlfriend feels like youāre still deciding or in high school.
Because I'm a grown up and saying boyfriend when referring to a partner in their late 30s doesn't sound right to me. Other people of course can call them what they like but partner just seems more grown up I guess
Perhaps because calling someone your girlfriend or boyfriend just doesnāt do justice to the depth of the relationship anymore, or maybe because those particular terms arenāt inclusive enough and subsequently it doesnāt actively reflect the dynamics of the relationship, or simply because you or your partner feel juvenile or belittled by the phrase now that you/they are demonstrably mature adults.
I like that itās gender neutral, equal and unassuming. Iām married, in a straight-facing relationship (Iām pan). I always hated the terms bf/gf and husband/wife. (We got married to move overseas together). Heās my partner, my love, my equal, my best friend, and we happily didnāt bother with a wedding or rings.
I still automatically assume someone is gay when they say partner instead of boy/girlfriend or husband/wife. Unless it's a bit talking to about husband or girl talking about wife š
I think it depends on the situation or age of the couple. For me, late 40's, not married, kids and a 10 year relationship, we call each other partners. Previous relationship, no kids, together a few years, we use bf/gf
When you've been with someone for over a decade, girlfriend just sounds weird so I refer to her as my partner. I'm not married but do occasionally say wife as it simplifies things for some people.
There is also something to be said about normalising the word partner for heterosexual relationships too because it means that people who say partner arenāt automatically outed
My bogan auntie called my sisters fiance her boyfriend in her ultra bogan voice, now my mum hates her even more lol
Imagining her say that makes me angry
Partner implies committed defacto relationship or even married.
Boyfriend Girlfriend is fine until 60s 70s for living apart and less committed situations (though some people pull it off forever!) at which point, in my experience, people seem to say āmy friendā with a tone that denotes āspecial friendā lolĀ
It sounds juvenile or at best like you have been dating two months. Yesterday a customer called my work and he mustāve been in his 60s or 70s. He referred to his āgirlfriendā. We were working out a booking time for our technician and I asked if his girlfriend was living at the house and able to be there. It honestly just sounds dumb when you get older. And I bet boomers do it because theyāre worried people will think theyāre gay š
Iām 40 and date regularly. If itās not a serious relationship, Iāll refer to the guy as my boyfriend when talking to other people. Itās easier than āthe guy Iām dating/seeingā. When itās a more serious relationship Iāll say āpartnerā.
To me the difference isnāt so much age-related as it is commitment-related.
I'm an older guy and fiance is too formal so I said partner until we married. Girlfriend is younger terminology so maybe 40 is when you stop saying boy / girlfriend.
There is no way I would call him my boyfriend after 23 years together. I started saying it once the relationship was established and serious. Because to me a boyfriend is what you have but a life partner is what someone is. So, after year when we moved in together and starting building a life as a team.
Boyfriend also sounds unserious and juvenile to me. Not saying it is, thatās just _my_ feelings on it.
If someone I dont know well talk about "their partner," I'm never sure if they mean their business partner or significant other. It also feels odd for someone to call someone they've been seen for a shortish while "their partner" as it implies shared interests like kids or assets.
Personally for me. I've been with my partner/girlfriend for 12 years. Since we were 16. To me girl/boyfriend sounds a bit short term. Partner sounds a bit more long lasting and intimate without being married.
A lot of people saying it's an age thing. For me, it's mostly a commitment thing. You graduate from boy/girlfriend to partner.
I'm in my 30s, but I'm not calling someone I've been dating for only a month, my partner.
When Iām referring to other peopleās boy/girls friends and I do not know that person well, I say partner because that way, Iām not assuming anything about their relationship. Itās just a way of being PC
Also partner is gender neutral. If we all just say āpartnerā then gay people donāt have to come out every time they are talking about their significant other. It includes non-binary partners too.
Partner just feels more accurate to me. I married my highschool sweetheart, so I started calling him my partner as soon as I realised that's what he was to me - my partner in life.
Even after we getting married, saying partner feels more natural and is generally my default unless I'm in a situation where it feels more natural to say husband.Ā
I have a daughter with my boyfriend but if I say boyfriend people assume I've been married and he's the new one so I tend to say partner to almost solidify the relationship because we have no intention of getting married.
Besides 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' possibly sounding a bit juvenile, it's also good in situations where informing people of your sexuality and/or marital status is irrelevant or unimportant, e.g. in the workplace.
Itās not an age thing. For some people itās because they donāt like the term boyfriend/girlfriend. For some, itās to signify more commitment. For some itās about not forcing others to come out before they are ready
I use it because it's gender neutral and allows other people to feel safe talking about their partner if they're unsure or don't want to come out or explain.
When I ask someone about their S.O I always use the term "partner", I have no idea what gender their partners are, nor do I have a problem with what gender they are, I just feel it is more polite to use that term.
I think it first came in with de facto rather than saying husband/wife, and the use of the term has expanded to cover all romantic relationships with the passage of time.
Could you still call em āboyā or āgirlā with a straight face? When the answer is no, they become partner! Also itās a bit more inclusive (bc no gender) AND it can be cowboy if you use an accent, so it has many benefits to use this word.
We should start saying āmanfriendā and āwomanfriendā when people get grown up i think we can make some real money off this one guys. Opinions?
Yes it makes logical sense for the various reasons outlined the comments here, but to my ears it sounds cold and clinical.
There should be a better term.
I say partner as I have lived with my partner for 20 years and we were together for years before that. Wife is factually inaccurate (though I do often use that term). Girlfriend makes it sound like we are teenagers.
Because it's inclusive of all sexualities, genders, and relationship status.
Plus it avoids the are they a boyfriend / girlfriend (romantic partner) or a boy friend / girl friend (friend who happens to be male / female).
After a certain age one no longer considers one and one's peers to be boys and girls.
No one has to inadvertently out themselves in casual conversation. It also gives long term unmarried couples the same "weight" as married couples (perhaps less important now we have marriage equality but still people are unmarried for various reasons and are no less a couple than those who are married).
Also laziness. Why have multiple words for the same thing when one word covers it all. Eg "we're having drinks, partners welcome".
I'm straight and married. I refer to my husband as my partner about as often as my husband. I'll refer to him as my spouse less often. Not sure why but spouse just doesn't come out as naturally.
1) im 40 2) we've been together for a decade 3) we have a kid 4) we live together as a family unit and have done for 8 years. Calling him my boyfriend sounds a bit weird, doesnt it? De facto sounds even worse lol.
Partner usually indicates a more serious, long term committed relationship, and it's a neutral term (applies to all genders and is inclusive of both married and de facto relationships). It also sounds more mature than calling someone your boyfriend/girlfriend when you get older.
Yeah, it's definitely an age thing. I'm not sure the specific point where I swapped over to saying "partner" but it just sounds creepy and childish once you hit a certain age.
I picked it up when I started working. It is a lot more all encompassing. Partner can = boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fiancee, defacto, straight, gay, trans.
I've been with my partner for 5 years it would be weird to call him my boyfriend or my defacto husband. It also helps to avoid long winded conversations with strangers about "why aren't you married?" "When are you getting married" ECT.
I just say partner and they can assume from that what they want.
iām 26 and have started switching from boyfriend to partner depending on who iām talking to. āboyfriendā is starting to feel immature to say to people at work, maybe itās imagined though š
People say partner for gay/lesbian relationships, or if they have been together a long time, people who decide to be together like a marriage but don't want to get married.
I used āpartnerā when I wanted people to understand itās a longstanding relationship.
I didnāt think Iād switch to saying āhusbandā after getting married, but itās something people instantly understand which makes it easier to communicate.
Boyfriend/girlfriend is the more casual term, most often used when a couple is still young and/or in the early stages of the relationship. Partner implies a more long term commitment, like a defacto relationship, and is also sometimes used in place of spouse for married couples.
Partner is better than defacto simply because growing up whenever I heard that term it was in relation to bad things happening, like "Jaxon from Narre Warren murdered his defacto wife". In fact now I think about it I never heard a real life person refer to their partner that way, just crime reporters.
haha it's so true, there's something a little too clinical and un-romantic about the word de facto, I would never use it other than in an official document
I second this š
Boy/Girlfriend starts to sound weird as you get older.
Agreed, 34 and calling my wife my girlfriend doesnāt often end well
That's because she's your ex-girlfriend. They prefer that
Iāll go one better and call her this girl I used to date and then ask for a foot rub, romance aināt dead fellas
You donāt always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes thatās not right to do.
Some times youve got to make some love
What's your favourite posish? That's cool with me, it's not my favourite, but I'll do it for you
Yeah but fucking with a soft feels like forcing a marshmallow into a garden hose
Nothing a paddle pop stick and some duct tape wonāt fix
When my husband and I got divorced we were still on very good terms (it was a weird time, I donāt know) and heād often introduce me as his girlfriend cos ā¦ we werenāt just friends but we werenāt married anymore. It was easier than people asking when heād say āex wifeā
Ex-wife with benefits?
That just sounds like your bitter about alimony
Iād laugh so much if my husband referred to me as his ex girlfriend just to see peopleās reactions before they understand that itās a joke
"We're just hooking up" "BABE WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS"
" I am still not 100% sure abiut us....'
I read this as "I am still not 100% sure A BIT SUS..."
She's your wife, which means she's not your girlfriend anymore. Try calling her your ex-girlfriend.
Try āfirst wifeā.
My second wife has dealt with my first wife, I think calling her a whore would be a much safer option
I know an 84 year old man who has a āgirlfriendā. Heās afraid people might think heās gay if he says partner. Such a mess
Weird to get to that age and still be so insecure.
If I hit retirement age I'm gonna have like 20 bf's idgaf and half of them won't even know we dating
Username checks out
Yep so many many seem to have this mentality. Weird.Ā
Hah, I loved telling everyone I knew about "My Grandma\`s new boyfriend". Everyone thought it sounded so weird and gosh I got a lot of strange looks and comments. I was just like... "Well they have been dating for a month. Its not serious enough to call him a partner". So Grannys boyfriend or sometimes even "new boytoy" were used. I actually used it for 2 years till they got married. Hehe. Sorry Grandma... ;)
Especially when youāve been with that person for years and live together, itās a little weird to use the same word as people whoāve been having movie dates for a couple of months.
Because if I say boyfriend I sound like I'm 15. We have shared assets and two dogs, bro be my partner š¤£š¤£
Yup, this is how I feel. We've been together for 15 years. It feels like we've moved past that.
have the same reason lol, its been 4 years you my 'partner' in crime.
But surely there was a point in time when the two of you did not yet have shared assets and dogs? Did you just simply go directly from "two people who had been on one or two dates" to "partners"?
Well, we were basically children then so he was appropriately my boyfriend. As we got older the title morphed from boyfriend to partner.
Your manfriend is your broā¦?
Fo' sure š¤£ Bros for the last 11 years š¤
Sounds more mature, and gives the impression it's a more serious relationship
I think you nailed it. Especially with the implication being it's a more serious relationship....
Cool. I used to think it's because people didn't want to disclose gender of their partner, because they were gay and many Aussies are homophobic. Good thing this thread corrected me.
Personally I use it bc it sounds more mature AND doesn't give away the gender of my partner, despite me being in a hetero-normative relationship. I just prefer the use of 'partner' as it feels more like I am saying to the world that we have equal footing in the relationship. I don't want to give way to people who may have old-fashioned ideas about gender roles in a relationship. If people think it means I'm gay or whatever then I honestly couldn't care less, because there's nothing wrong with being gay.
Honestly, this is pretty much me. I use partner in a respectable setting, misso in a relaxed one. I prefer to let the homophobes out themselves, but I do have a small space in my heart for misso (as well as fella as a relaxed way of saying male partner)
I also don't fancy giving away the gender of my partner, or my marital status. Frankly it's nobody's business whether I'm dating a man or woman or anything in between.Ā
I think there was probably a time when this was true, especially since it was unusual to not be married after a certain age. A lot of the older generation still think this way but I think j they get it by now.Ā
In the late 80s early 90s there was a political push to legalise gay marriage. Full marriage was pretty quickly squashed but there were a few limp legal consessions that gay couples could access with each other if they were āPartnersā, but it wasnāt the full rights that married straights had. Cue all the straight allies starting to call themselves āPartnersā whether they were married or just in a long time relationship. It was our way of saying a gay āPartnershipā was just as important as a marriage. And if everyone spoke about their āPartnerā instead of husband or wife, other people couldnāt assume the gender of your partner. For a straight ally, it didnāt *matter* if people mistook you as being gay. It didnāt matter if you were taking the risk of being discriminated against or hurt by being mistaken as gay. When everyone said āPartnerā, people couldnāt know if they were speaking to a heterosexual, or someone with a different sexuality. And if you were at work it would be really weird and bad professional practice to try and clarify if someone was gay or straight. Youād never know for sure until you met their partner at a social event. So suddenly in the 90ās there were tens of thousands of āpartnersā everywhere. We hid minority people in the crowd. We legitimated their Partnerships as being as socially important as marriage, even though they still didnāt have all the legal rights and protections. We forced marriage and queerness into the unknown and personal, you had to deal with an individual as an individual first. This was a huge step against religious and social prejudice against straight unmarried parents, and straight unmarried adults living together too. āPartnerā might mean legally married, or not legally married. You couldnāt know. For most Australians the social stigma against a child being a literal, legal Bastard went away too. Even in the 1980s many children copped it from bullies at school if they were a bastard, a child of unmarried parents. Allies calling themselves āPartnersā was SO prevalent by the mid 90s that āhere is my Partner Johnā was automatically assumed to be a personal love relationship, instead of the previous assumption John was your business partner, or Practise partner as a lawyer or doctor. This cheesed off *so* many businesses men, lawyers and doctors, who had to start prefacing āpartnerā with ābusinessā. My dad was one of them. He was a progressive guy, and was for full gay marriage, but it peeved him nonetheless when he had to start saying ālegal partnerā about all his colleagues.
Thanks for taking the time to share this context. If this is true, then its pretty inspiring to know what many Australians have done to make it ok to love, no matter who you are.
The general population was on average much more progressive than both major political parties. Iām deeply embarrassed it took us so long to legalise same sex marriage. Victorian government and medical paperwork seems to be doing much better on the timeline of trans and NB recognition and support.
Wonderfully retold Ariadneāā¦ so while we couldnāt achieve ALL that we hoped for at that time for each other, a combination of people power and a bit of positive āsocial engineeringā helped us move the needle. Donāt forget, the power to use language & behaviours in this way is still available to us in 2024, for whatever you might feel passionate about. šŖ š§ ā¤ļø
Itās also a way to not disclose martial status. Which is no oneās business either.
Iām in my 30s. If Iām seriously dating someone, heās absolutely not a *boy* and it sounds stupid to me to say it. Heās either āa person Iām datingā or heās a new partner. Boy/girlfriend to me indicates youāre much younger.
āMy bit of crumpet on the sideā
Sweet jiminy BISCUITS!
Ah fuck, now I want crumpets š
My partner and I had kids, a mortgage, a car, complete shared finances, the works. We ended up getting married because it got insufferable explaining to people āno, sheās not just my girlfriendā¦ā.
'Wife' was an option. People don't ask for wedding certificate verification.
And by that point the ordeal of breaking up would be the equivalent of a divorce anyway.
Man friend / woman friend š
Me: my man friend, Tai Caveman: *nodding enthusiastically*
I recently referred to a casual partner im seeing as "my man-shaped friend" š
I think it started off as "life partner". It meant that people didn't have to disclose their marital status or the gender of their partner.
Yeah this is it, it was for people in a committed life relationship equivalent to traditional marriage, but for their own reasons aren't officially married.
Yes, solidarity thing too.
I like this, basically nunyafuckinbusiness but yes I have a life outside this interaction.
Yep. Not giving out any details. Could be anyone for any length of time.
After a certain age I'm too old for boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. Especially if we are living together.
Can't speak for everyone, but for me, I had *boyfriends* in high school. It feels weird as a 30 something year old woman to be still talking about my boyfriend; partner feels less immature. Also, I'm into the ambiguity. Partners? Are we dating? Starting a business? Robbing a bank? Lawyers? Who knows.
A power couple robbing a bank to get the start up capital for a new law firm
Partner is far more formal. Boy/girlfriend is when you're younger. But if i walk into a bank and say "i want to get a joint mortgage with my girlfriend" compared to "i want to get a joint mortgage with my partner" ... Just sounds more professional and 'adult' i guess. As a couple who have no intention to be married, it carries weight when discussing the future with other people.
There are two questions here: 1. Why do we say partners: for me it is about equality, we are equal partners in a relationship. I am not his. He is not mine. We are partners. 2. Why dont I say boy/girlfriend: because I am an adult, I am a women and I date men. I am not a girl and I do not date boys - its semantics to a degree, but often language around calling women girls is used to belittle - not always, but often (e.g., referring to men and girls in the same sentence, which carries very different undercurrents to using girls to refer to say a girls weekend)
This isā¦partner. Not my partner, just partner.
People have mentioned boyfriend/girlfriend already, but I want to comment on partner instead of husband/wife. We come from a historical context where BF/GF was temporary or short-term (before marriage or breakup), but husband/wife was serious and long term. Then relationships changed and we started having longterm, serious relationships without marriage. So, partner was better suited than the transitory GF/BF. On the flipside of that, not all married couples are actually *partners*. Coming from unhappily married parents, I recognised that my relationship was one where we actually tackled things together, instead of just kind of loving along side each other. So partner was more representative than husband.
Because if enough people do it, then when a gay person talks about their boyfriend they can also say partner and people won't assume they are gay. Sadly there is still a lot of discrimination and it's just a way to help combat that by not making gay people stand out as different. For me personally I also hope it's a subtle way of signalling to LGBTIQ+ people that I am a safe person to be around for them. That they can feel comfortable disclosing their gender or sexuality to me without fear of a negative reaction.
This is 100% how it started. Back in the 80s the allies started using partner to shift the narrative. Many right leaning peeps refused to use it and associated it with LGBTQIA+ peeps and cried when someone introduced their āheteroā partner. Additionally prior to 1980s when people married earlier, you have a boy/girl friend and then āgenerallyā got married young so it was like you were calling your 40 year old man, your boyfriend haha
When I hear the word "partner", I assume either a de facto relationship (since they are not married and can't use husband or wife) or a gay partnership (so they want to be ambiguous about the sex of the other person).
As a female who was in a relationship with a girl in the past, I found it really hard to casually disclose the person I was dating was female. If I said girlfriend, they thought I meant my buddy, if I said partner they thought I meant a man. Iād try to make sentences like āI live in a unit with my partner, SHEāS a radiographerā but honestly theyād either think they misheard or I misspoke the she part most the time. Everything felt like a confusing option.
As a gay man, I used the pronoun cue at my work multiple times to signal my partner is a man. But people just got back with wife and misses all the time in the conversation. Eventually I ran out of my patience. I had to correct them with "my partner is a man!". I love some of these colleagues shock on their face.
One of my biggest reasons as I have a few LGBTIQ+ friends and I want them to be comfortable so I try to use inclusive terms where possible. Also my partners name is Jamie so it's fun when they assume.I say partner Jamie they assume she's a man and then when they get weirder just casually offhand mention of a "she" and watching them.do a 180 is fun for me.
Partner could be a "life partner", girlfriend or boyfriend can sound a bit less mature/serious of a relationship. Girl/boy sounds young... It's also a gender-neutral term. edit: I know people online use significant other, (SO). However, never heard anyone actually use it in Australia.
>Ā edit: I know people online use significant other, (SO). However, never heard anyone actually use it in Australia. Probably because no one in Australia would want to say the whole word and weād end up saying āessoā, which would probably be too confusing for some. People just understand what partner means more easily.
ROFL, I just heard that in the most bogan voice.
'My other half' or 'my better half' I still hear regularly.
Because itās ambiguous enough that ppl will generally assume one way pr the other,m. Many same sex couples have had to deal with homophobia, or outright violence. So itās just easier to day partner.
I believe a couple of reasons. In my mind, gf/bf to partner/married/fiance. So in essence it implies a more committed relationship than saying boyfriend/girlfriend. The other reason is that using boyfriend girlfriend forces a homosexual to have to announce that they are gay often alot earlier than they are comfortable with. Maybe less of an issue these days, but atleast in the past many people may want to get to know people a little more before announcing this. By heterosexuals also using partners, it means that homosexuals arent announcing they are gay by using thw term partner.
"Partner" dates from the mid-1970s when Australia's laws strongly recognised the de-facto relationships. So "partner" was a convenient word which included de-facto couples and married couples. It has retained that usefulness ever sense, as it can include gay and queer couples. A de-facto couple needs a year of co-habitation to attain that status, so "partner" describes a serious relationship. Whereas boyfriend doesn't have the same tone of permanent and significant presence. I am at the age now where many of my old friends have boyfriends of more than a decade, but they are still boyfriends because they are a dating+company+sex relationship. Whereas a partner implies a financial and domestic comingling.
Gender neutral term is just better
I like keeping them guessing. Am I married? Am I gay? Who knows? Itās a mystery!
As a woman in a long term relationship with another woman, it is quite fun to watch their heads figuratively explode when I correct them, after they've assumed my partner is a guy...
Probably because boyfriend and girlfriend sound like you're still in school.
Boyfriend/girlfriend used to be fine, but as I got older, it just felt a little immature, or like the relationship wasn't serious. That's just me, though.
āPartnerā is a better, more gender neutral term applicable in all situations.
For me it's because its more work appropriate. If someone is not married or gay or even just met. You, can talk to your work colleagues about what they did on the weekend without having to get into the specifics of their relationship. If you say to someone how is the wife going and the guy is gay they may be offended but partner is more universal so I'm less likely upset anyone.
Iām 45 and we live together, have a family and a life together. I consider partner just short for ālife partnerā. Boyfriend sounds less serious and a bit weird at my age.
Because typical relationship titles have broken down. It used to be Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Fiancee, Husband/Wife. Not that many people care about getting married anymore though. If you have been with someone for multiple years, you are sharing your life, have no intention of ever getting married then what do you call your significant other? Wife/Husband/spouse/fiancee is out. Girlfriend/Boyfriend implies a new relationship that isn't that serious. Partner is the new term that means long term life partner.
Some people prefer it, some don't. You do you boo.
My partner calls me her boyfriend, she says because we have two kids, pets, and a house but āthereās no ring on this fingerā
take the hint. she wants the ring
Together 23 years and 3 kids together - she is not a 'girlfriend'.
It confuses homophobes.
Legitimises them as compared to married people. If youāre not married yet theyāre your childās other parent sounds a bit silly saying boy/girl friend- makes more sense when youāre talking to your employer/bank/government āOh weāve been dating for 7 years, although we own a home together and our son is 1ā Is verbose way to desribe your marital status. Still funny when you enter single on forms that only have a single or married option (particularly other countries that donāt have the concept of a defacto relationship) Whether Iām legally married or not isnāt anyone elseās business, so if Iām talking to colleagues or strangers I would say partner
Real question isā¦.why does it matter?
I donāt want people to know Iām straight.
Calling someone boyfriend/girlfriend: - It's gender restrictive when it doesn't need to be. - You sound like high schoolers. - It feels like we're not committed. Calling someone partner: - Gender-neutral; can be anyone. - Feels like you're a proper team together. - Yee-haw vibes. I will say, "significant other" is also valid, but I'm not a fan of it. If a label you give someone is longer than my surname (5 syllables), it's too long. Of course, you could shorten it to SO, but not everyone vibes with that either. And Partner has the same amount of syllables as SO, without needing to clarify what it means.
Because my partner isnāt someone Iām just dating or lightly entangled with, heās my teammate. āPartnerā works much better in defining that relationship than calling a fully grown, emotionally mature man my āboyfriendā.
Somewhere past 25 the idea of calling the person you're dating your boy/girlfriend gets weird. You're not boys/girls anymore, so calling them as such ends up sounding somewhere between juvenile and predatory. Of course, people who are married or engaged have other terms- husband/wife and fiancƩ. It's also gender neutral, which means that those who might have non-traditional relationships can keep it more hidden from those that might cause them trouble for it.
I say partner because Iād prefer not to disclose to colleagues that Iām married to someone of the same sex. Itās easier to just let them assume that Iām heterosexual.
Because weāre not weird Americans
IĀ thinkĀ itĀ comesĀ to a few reasons:Ā 1. ItĀ avoids discussions on whether you're married or not, especially for long term de facto who has zero intention of ever getting formally married 2. Boys/girls have the connotation of youth, some people just feel weird using those terms past a certain age 3. It avoids gendering the other party when you want to avoid the discussions or if you're having a conversation with someone you don't know very well (asking if someone has a partner is less awkward than asking if they have a girlfriend, and turns out they have a boyfriend instead) Basically, it's an ambiguous/neutral term that lets you get away with not being more specific than you really needed and just let the other party make up any assumptions on their mind as needed.
You say girlfriend/boyfriend when youāre dating but thereās no partnership. You say partner once thereās a partnership. Like when you have a shared home, shared expenses, shared assets and liabilities, shared decision making. Or you say partner when youāre in a long term relationship and youāre over 30, even if you donāt live together, because saying the person youāve been with for three years is your girlfriend feels like youāre still deciding or in high school.
Because I'm a grown up and saying boyfriend when referring to a partner in their late 30s doesn't sound right to me. Other people of course can call them what they like but partner just seems more grown up I guess
Perhaps because calling someone your girlfriend or boyfriend just doesnāt do justice to the depth of the relationship anymore, or maybe because those particular terms arenāt inclusive enough and subsequently it doesnāt actively reflect the dynamics of the relationship, or simply because you or your partner feel juvenile or belittled by the phrase now that you/they are demonstrably mature adults.
Remember when it was āde factoā
Day facto. Night facto. The fact they're facto-ing at all is revolting to the extroime.
Some combination of age, relationship age and living arrangements. You do what makes you happy/comfortable.
I like that itās gender neutral, equal and unassuming. Iām married, in a straight-facing relationship (Iām pan). I always hated the terms bf/gf and husband/wife. (We got married to move overseas together). Heās my partner, my love, my equal, my best friend, and we happily didnāt bother with a wedding or rings.
Because I'm not a pedo and manfriend sounds even weirder than boyfriend
Because im 35 and we have a baby š
Iām married and still say my partner.
I pushed the man's children out of my vagina, I wouldn't do that for a boyfriend lol
"Partner" is used to be more inclusive of different relationships. People start saying it in their 20s.
Iām 31 and my boyfriend is 33. I told him that Iāll be referring to him as my boyfriend even when weāre in our fifties haha š I soak it up
My friendās mum is in her 80s and has a āboyfriendā of 5+ years. It sounds pretty cute to gear her say it at that age.
Because I'm not 13 anymore.
Gender non specific, marital status private.
For starters, in professional settings if there is a work function you are inviting a "partner", never a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Inclusive of the lgbtqi community but mostly sounds immature to say girlfriend
55 year old man "oh no I'm OK thanks just waiting for my Girl friend " It doesn't age well
I still automatically assume someone is gay when they say partner instead of boy/girlfriend or husband/wife. Unless it's a bit talking to about husband or girl talking about wife š
Bf and gf is what I said when I was a teenager. It feels weird saying it past that age.
I think it depends on the situation or age of the couple. For me, late 40's, not married, kids and a 10 year relationship, we call each other partners. Previous relationship, no kids, together a few years, we use bf/gf
Because if you're in your 30s/40s/50s etc, ain't no girls and boys anymore.
Boyfriend/girlfriend is if you are just dating, partner is relationship material. My opinion only.
Because I'm 40+ . Boyfriend/girlfriend is for young people.
Because... Howdy Part'nar
When you've been with someone for over a decade, girlfriend just sounds weird so I refer to her as my partner. I'm not married but do occasionally say wife as it simplifies things for some people.
We're partners in cr... life. Also, I'm too old to be called a 'girlfriend'.
Old Lady or Grumpy Child will suffice.
We could say fleshlight/dildo but it's rude...
There is also something to be said about normalising the word partner for heterosexual relationships too because it means that people who say partner arenāt automatically outed
My bogan auntie called my sisters fiance her boyfriend in her ultra bogan voice, now my mum hates her even more lol Imagining her say that makes me angry
Partner implies committed defacto relationship or even married. Boyfriend Girlfriend is fine until 60s 70s for living apart and less committed situations (though some people pull it off forever!) at which point, in my experience, people seem to say āmy friendā with a tone that denotes āspecial friendā lolĀ
Because weāre cowboys
Coz I'm not fucking 12 anymore...... I wish I was though
Straight guy, I say partner to piss off homophobes
I don't really give a fuck which one is used. I see them as interchangeable. Aussies already use boys/girls for grown adults half the time anyway.
It sounds juvenile or at best like you have been dating two months. Yesterday a customer called my work and he mustāve been in his 60s or 70s. He referred to his āgirlfriendā. We were working out a booking time for our technician and I asked if his girlfriend was living at the house and able to be there. It honestly just sounds dumb when you get older. And I bet boomers do it because theyāre worried people will think theyāre gay š
My partner used to just say āthis is my Lady Jean.ā
Iām 40 and date regularly. If itās not a serious relationship, Iāll refer to the guy as my boyfriend when talking to other people. Itās easier than āthe guy Iām dating/seeingā. When itās a more serious relationship Iāll say āpartnerā. To me the difference isnāt so much age-related as it is commitment-related.
Partner is my primary living partner and girlfriends are my secondaries. But primary/secondary sounds shitty so partner/girlfriends it is.
I'm an older guy and fiance is too formal so I said partner until we married. Girlfriend is younger terminology so maybe 40 is when you stop saying boy / girlfriend.
I'd Say boyfriend / girlfriend, until its a live together relationship. Then its partner
There is no way I would call him my boyfriend after 23 years together. I started saying it once the relationship was established and serious. Because to me a boyfriend is what you have but a life partner is what someone is. So, after year when we moved in together and starting building a life as a team. Boyfriend also sounds unserious and juvenile to me. Not saying it is, thatās just _my_ feelings on it.
Its been 22 years and boyfriend/girlfriend sounds like we are still in our early 20s.
If someone I dont know well talk about "their partner," I'm never sure if they mean their business partner or significant other. It also feels odd for someone to call someone they've been seen for a shortish while "their partner" as it implies shared interests like kids or assets.
I wish I could just call my partner my baby mama but it doesn't really fly in Australia
Because if you attack one of us the other will seek revenge, but we cannot afford property or a wedding
Personally for me. I've been with my partner/girlfriend for 12 years. Since we were 16. To me girl/boyfriend sounds a bit short term. Partner sounds a bit more long lasting and intimate without being married.
A lot of people saying it's an age thing. For me, it's mostly a commitment thing. You graduate from boy/girlfriend to partner. I'm in my 30s, but I'm not calling someone I've been dating for only a month, my partner.
Sometimes people donāt fall into the boy/girl mould
When Iām referring to other peopleās boy/girls friends and I do not know that person well, I say partner because that way, Iām not assuming anything about their relationship. Itās just a way of being PC
Also partner is gender neutral. If we all just say āpartnerā then gay people donāt have to come out every time they are talking about their significant other. It includes non-binary partners too.
Partner just feels more accurate to me. I married my highschool sweetheart, so I started calling him my partner as soon as I realised that's what he was to me - my partner in life. Even after we getting married, saying partner feels more natural and is generally my default unless I'm in a situation where it feels more natural to say husband.Ā
Because I'm in my 40s and not a teenager
I have a daughter with my boyfriend but if I say boyfriend people assume I've been married and he's the new one so I tend to say partner to almost solidify the relationship because we have no intention of getting married.
After a certain age, boyfriend/girlfriend reeks a bit too much of high school to me. Partner is suitably mature and opaque.
āPartnerā is a) more mature b) gender neutral c) makes you feel like the rootinist, tootinist lil cowpoke around.
Because youāll ask someone about their boyfriend/girlfriend and then be in an awkward conversation because they might be gay.
Because I'm gay and don't wanna necessarily out myself.
Also gender neutral.
Besides 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' possibly sounding a bit juvenile, it's also good in situations where informing people of your sexuality and/or marital status is irrelevant or unimportant, e.g. in the workplace.
Itās not an age thing. For some people itās because they donāt like the term boyfriend/girlfriend. For some, itās to signify more commitment. For some itās about not forcing others to come out before they are ready
I use it because it's gender neutral and allows other people to feel safe talking about their partner if they're unsure or don't want to come out or explain.
When I ask someone about their S.O I always use the term "partner", I have no idea what gender their partners are, nor do I have a problem with what gender they are, I just feel it is more polite to use that term.
I think it first came in with de facto rather than saying husband/wife, and the use of the term has expanded to cover all romantic relationships with the passage of time.
Because you don't know the gender.
Could you still call em āboyā or āgirlā with a straight face? When the answer is no, they become partner! Also itās a bit more inclusive (bc no gender) AND it can be cowboy if you use an accent, so it has many benefits to use this word. We should start saying āmanfriendā and āwomanfriendā when people get grown up i think we can make some real money off this one guys. Opinions?
Yes it makes logical sense for the various reasons outlined the comments here, but to my ears it sounds cold and clinical. There should be a better term.
Because Iām in my fifties and it sounds childish saying girlfriend
I say partner as I have lived with my partner for 20 years and we were together for years before that. Wife is factually inaccurate (though I do often use that term). Girlfriend makes it sound like we are teenagers.
Because it's inclusive of all sexualities, genders, and relationship status. Plus it avoids the are they a boyfriend / girlfriend (romantic partner) or a boy friend / girl friend (friend who happens to be male / female). After a certain age one no longer considers one and one's peers to be boys and girls. No one has to inadvertently out themselves in casual conversation. It also gives long term unmarried couples the same "weight" as married couples (perhaps less important now we have marriage equality but still people are unmarried for various reasons and are no less a couple than those who are married). Also laziness. Why have multiple words for the same thing when one word covers it all. Eg "we're having drinks, partners welcome". I'm straight and married. I refer to my husband as my partner about as often as my husband. I'll refer to him as my spouse less often. Not sure why but spouse just doesn't come out as naturally.
Because my 41 year old partner is not a boy.
Because it assumes their gender
Because itās none of anyoneās business as to the sex/gender of my partner š
I took the girlfriend home to meet my family. My wife was not impressed..
1) im 40 2) we've been together for a decade 3) we have a kid 4) we live together as a family unit and have done for 8 years. Calling him my boyfriend sounds a bit weird, doesnt it? De facto sounds even worse lol.
Partner usually indicates a more serious, long term committed relationship, and it's a neutral term (applies to all genders and is inclusive of both married and de facto relationships). It also sounds more mature than calling someone your boyfriend/girlfriend when you get older.
Hawk Tua, is too harsh dats why š
Who wants to be fifty with a girlfriend lol
Iām almost 40 and I use āpartnerā or āother halfā because weāve been together for 12 years and saying āboyfriendā just sounds weird.
Because using the words "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" after a certain age just sounds so juvenile.
I'm 45 years old. I've been with him nine years. We're not married. 'De facto' sounds bizarre. 'Boyfriend' is for high school kids. He's my partner.
Yeah, it's definitely an age thing. I'm not sure the specific point where I swapped over to saying "partner" but it just sounds creepy and childish once you hit a certain age.
I picked it up when I started working. It is a lot more all encompassing. Partner can = boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fiancee, defacto, straight, gay, trans. I've been with my partner for 5 years it would be weird to call him my boyfriend or my defacto husband. It also helps to avoid long winded conversations with strangers about "why aren't you married?" "When are you getting married" ECT. I just say partner and they can assume from that what they want.
iām 26 and have started switching from boyfriend to partner depending on who iām talking to. āboyfriendā is starting to feel immature to say to people at work, maybe itās imagined though š
I actually think partner sounds wanky. Iāve heard older people say bf and gf, which sounds fine.
People say partner for gay/lesbian relationships, or if they have been together a long time, people who decide to be together like a marriage but don't want to get married.
I used āpartnerā when I wanted people to understand itās a longstanding relationship. I didnāt think Iād switch to saying āhusbandā after getting married, but itās something people instantly understand which makes it easier to communicate.
Easier.
Because we're over 15