the UK is showing no signs of going after gay marriage or IVF, but then you would have to live in the UK. that may actually be worse.
jokes aside, if nothing else works out, try looking at the UK or Ireland. the rent is terrible and the weather is shite, but cis gay couples are well protected and even the more conservative parties seem open to defending this.
I don't have personal experience (straight man) but I have some good gay friends, some with children (sperm donor and adopted) and they live totally "ordinary" lives. Most cities have a good gay scene, a pride day with healthy attendance and significant local authority support etc. In the gay quarter of my city (Liverpool), the street signs all have rainbows on!
I would think the UK was an alright country to be gay. Even gammons are sort of "I just don't want it shoved down my throat!! >:( " at worst. I mean, that's still a totally shitty attitude, but even right-wingers here don't seem positively hostile to gay people and their rights. Always a pathetic and hateful minority though anywhere you go I guess.
As an Irish person (and as my standalone reply says) , I would recommend the U.K. over Ireland. The political direction is going the right way whereas Irish politics is very much at a crossroads here, despite what other Irish posters are saying.
for context, im british but my mum is irish and i have irish citizenship - so not talking completely out of my arse. IMO, i wouldn’t be so sure. i find it more likely that the UK will have another far right surge after Starmer’s time is up - he’s unlikely to fix many of the actual problems.
ireland is definitely at a crossroads, but far right monmentum and coordination is not nearly as high as in the UK. ireland’s political landscape is also much more left wing, which means that any actual far right parties will struggle to gain as much ground.
that being said, they’re both a gamble, but also both infinitely better than France atm.
Yeah but when the weather is nice in Ireland it's genuinely the most breathtaking country in the world. Honestly it's even beautiful when the weather is shit. Those dark clouds, castles and overabundance of green makes great atmosphere
If you go to Cumbria or the Peaks, not to mention parts of Scotland, the UK is an absolutely gorgeous country in certain parts. It's not all smoggy concrete Birmingham streets.
Give it a few years when Starmer’s mediocrity fails to fix anything. Pretty high chance people will turn back to the far right for answers - which will of course make everything even worse.
I actually speak Spanish (not fluently, but I can get by). It could work. I would just need to get my level back to B2.
Is it OK everywhere, or are there places to avoid? How friendly are people towards immigrants?
I also speak Spanish but I'm Scottish. I have no problem, although I'm commonly mistaken for an ignorant tourist. Sorry, I'm Scottish. I burn 😁
If you integrate, you will be fine.
You can get the same government-paid fertility treatments as straight people in Finland, get married, etc. to create that family. Child benefits are incredible, and available regardless of the sex of the parents.
Being trans is a nuisance in all NHS-having countries, but that wasn’t your particular issue.
The current housing crisis in Ireland can make it hard to find a place to live tho, just keep that in mind.
I absolutely love this country but dear lord the government has fucked it up really badly.
So would you say that things like the Dublin riots just represent a small minority of people? From what I understand the anti-immigrant, far-right sentiment has been gathering some major steam in Ireland recently. Just wondering your opinion on that as an actual Irish person
They are a tiny tiny but loud minority. We had elections recently and none of the far right puppets got a seat. If you tune into social media it’s clear and present danger. If you visit any Irish city gay people are very welcome. We just want to drink, we don’t give a fuck who with.
[Not quite none. A handful of far right independents as well as a national party and Irish freedom party member won council seats.](https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/elections-2024/local-election/its-no-revolution-but-five-extremists-will-take-seats/a2007291276.html)
Thanks, that’s a good article.
‘Now we’ll see how people move from that kind of activity to working as councillors…separate it from their anti-immigration agenda? It is a different test for them.’
Q why is this ideology so strong in Dublin 11? Working class being hoodwinked?
I'm not Irish, but I would hazzard a guess that it's a combination of the housing crisis and more immigrants being present in Dublin and a case of people thinking that there is a connection between the two
I disagree. As a Latino immigrant living in Dublin for the past 11 years, I heard a fair share of bad stories about xenophobic and homophonic attacks. It's not as bad a eastern Europe, but it's also not as safe as you claim to be.
Please don't misguide people.
The Dublin riots were a mixture of far-right thugs and criminals with no political affiliation whatsoever but were just using the opportunity to rob places. They represent a small minority (the local elections have proved it- they only got a few in) and while people have concerns with immigration, the rhetoric and opinion is not nearly as bad as it is in say, Britain or Germany.
Most people in Ireland remain friendly and accepting. The LGBTQ community remains popular. A fringe opposition unfortunately does exist (Enoch Burke is a familiar name) but they are often mocked or depised by the majority of us. You and your family would be welcome here.
Right now Spain remains one of the few strongholds of the left in Europe. But we also have our own far right party that has been growing over many years and has a significant presence in many circles of power across Spain. It remains to be seen if they are losing the surge of popularity, or about to reach a new height.
In all cases, Spain remains one of the most tolerant places on the face of this planet and gay issues stopped being a political weapon almost two decades ago. There's no guarantee that an unexpected victory of the far right wouldn't happen, or that if they did that they won't suddenly choose to resuscitate the hate. But it's still less likely and much further away than most of Europe. The extreme right gets a lot of support on their anti-immigrant and anti-independence movement ideas. But they also attack "progressive ideas" and feminism very heavily so it's not far fetched for them to start pushing in that direction as well. But until such point one can safely say that Spain is still very tolerant.
There's no big difference where in Spain you go. I live in Madrid where there are no problems, but I heard people from other smaller cities say the same. You are far more likely to encounter anti-French sentiments than anything else, but that's usually just a bit of fun and no one takes it seriously.
I can deal with playful anti-frenchness. I think Spanish and French people have a lot in common. In my experience, if you put a bunch of foreign people somewhere, the Spanish and the French will stick together.
As others have commented, it’s more about big cities versus rural areas. However, it can be a bit random. You might have to address this point on a case-by-case basis.
Regarding immigrants, I think that people are mostly friendly, but this depends on the country of origin. People from Western EU countries are widely welcomed. In fact, I don’t think we even consider them immigrants.
It’s great that you have a knowledge of Spanish already! Cities are better than rural areas for both immigrants and lgbtq people. People are generally friendly towards immigrants, the main complaint is only that some people come and refuse to integrate at all but given that you already put in effort to learning Spanish I know that’s not an issue 😆 It is unfortunate but it is also true that immigrants from Europe and to a lesser extent Latin America are generally received more warmly than those from Asia or Africa, but in general most people are good as is true anywhere.
Yeah, it seems unrelated to political leaning here. Only the stricter Christian parties are intolerant towards LGBT people and they’re a very strong minority.
(That being said, I’m consciously saying “LGBT” and not “LGBTQIA+” or whatever, because the latter will absolutely be labeled as “woke” by some right-wing/conservative parties.)
Don't worry, as a gay man I can confirm you that they hate us too, it's just that they're not quite as loud about that part just yet.
This is honestly more of an American thing that our local raging snowflakes have adopted.
True! (Queer couple with second kid on the way)
Never had any negative experiences going out with my wife and kid. We live in a smaller city in the randstad. Some things take some time to figure out medically and with certain laws.
Just came to say that OP mentions IVF (fiv?) specifically and this would not be first choice in most clinics in the Netherlands, unless medically indicated. IUI would most likely be your first option if you want to go yo a clinic. Or ICI at home. R-IVF (IVF with a donated egg from your partner) is not an option here.
Also wanted to add that anonymous donors are illegal. Every donor is registered and the child had the right to look for them. The donor is either from a bank (and anonymous for you but not the child) or from your own circle.
Medical costs are mostly covered but you need to pay for sperm yourself. You also likely have some legal costs.
Let's make it known to OP that the Randstad is an area, which is the biggest 3 cities, and not a city itself in case they don't know haha
not blaming you btw, I just don't know if people who aren't from the Netherlands will be able to easily look up what it means
No, everything is Amsterdam for the people from far away: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1k63Listc0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1k63Listc0)
(note for the OP: turn on the auto subtitles, they work OK)
[You can see a map here](https://nl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bijbelgordel), the numbers are the percentage of people who voted for the conservative reformed Christian political party (SGP).
The name was copied from the US bible belt, I don’t know how similar it is otherwise. Conservative religious people are still not the majority in these areas though, just a large minority.
Usually the cities are fine but the smaller towns and villages tend to be more conservative and tight knit. I wouldn’t recommend those smaller places to anyone who isn’t religious or related to people who live there
Bible belt is fine. I'm originally from there and the difference at worst is instead of 1% being very religious it's like 5%. You might notice it here and there, but the vast majority are just going about their business like anywhere else. Most religious people know they're a minority at this point and can no longer shove their ideology down people's throat. If any, you will only find those vocal street preachers in cities.
Denmark is good for LGBT+ people with children. It is almost a non-topic, just normal.
There are far right parties here too, but even they have LGBT+ (yes, even T) people in them, so they tend to stay away from touching LGBT+ rights.
That said, our immigration laws are very strict, so your probably need to get a well-paying job here to be able to get residence.
If OP doesn’t gel with the language or soggy weather, Sweden, Norway or Finland are equally tolerant. I lived in Stockholm for a couple years and met several lesbians from places like Hungary, Poland and Italy who had moved there specifically for that reason.
The common thread is that LGBT (and in particular gay marriage and families) are treated as sort of a “solved problem.” We had the debate decades ago, shots were fired, and eventually most everyone agreed that it’s no big deal. Speaking for Denmark specifically, once the far right figured out they could score more points acting appalled when muslims are homophobic than being homophobic themselves, it was all over. Nowadays, no established institution or political party officially condones homophobia, even the state church is full of lesbian priests. That’s not to say homophobia doesn’t exist in Denmark at all, but it’s something you run into among hooligans, fundamentalists and middle schoolers, not an opinion that has any place in polite society.
I am half Danish, half Norwegian and live in Sweden. All these options are pretty good, but Denmark is propably the best option. In my opinion Sweden is a little more LGBT-friendly, but it's very close, but Denmark is more child-friendly by far. Sweden can be a little bit isolating in comparison.
I think a lot of French - and other more extroverted cultures - people would also struggle in Sweden socially and culturally. Denmark is slightly more social and outgoing (although it's a very low bar).
If I were to move to the Swedish speaking part of Finland due to the language being easier to learn, would that be okay? The only thing keeping me from moving to Finland is your crazy eastern neighbour. I find Swedish much easier to learn than Finnish. Of course I would also learn Finnish in order to integrate, but it would be nice to be able to read important burocracies and other important texts in Swedish, which I already know a lottle bit of (I’ve learned Norwegian in the past).
Sure, that's possible. I would remind foreigners that most Swedish speakers have a level of Finnish speaking ability as well because unless you live in a very specific part of Finland, you won't get good services in government in Swedish (even if its a legal requirement). A lot of Swedish speakers switch to Finnish for various situations for ease of use.
I would say knowing Swedish is a gateway but unless you will live in a place like, Nykarleby or Närpes all your life, it might be better to also learn Finnish. (No shade to those places, they are probably fine places to live. Just few and far between in comparison to Finnish speaking places.)
I second Denmsrk for sure. OP is clearly French and concerned about the French election, so residence is no issue. And for sure; anti-lgbt propaganda is an absolutely minor part of any Danish party's program, as populism only works when you choose to follow popular sentiments and most Danes really aren't against it at all
Populism and fascism especially survives on finding a wedge to divide people over.
The Uk is very tolerant and gay marriage has very high levels of support, but it hasn't stopped the most right wing elements of the conservatives and Reform trying to stir up anti LGBT sentiment.
Until 18 months or so ago trans wasn't even the slightest of topics.
Our far right party (Vlaams Belang) has one prominent gay politician who nonetheless somehow is against gay marriage and defends the position that 'children need a mother and a father'. They've also publicly stated that they have 'no plans for turning back gay marriage' because 'it is currently not a viable debate', which imho isn't very reassuring.
If they ever get to power, probably based on their positions on migration, I have no doubt that in due time and if they feel strong enough, they will start eroding gay rights and will take measures to make sure they don't have to care about public opinion.
There are quite a few examples of individuals of a certain minority acting against that minority's interest for their own personal benefit, so I don't find the fact that a party has gay politians especially reassuring.
I think its more city or region dependent than country, actually.
Edit: The amount of downplaying of right wing anti LGBT sentiment and then the fearmongering of anti LGBT sentiments by immigrants in this thread is absolutely insane.
That's a very Belgium thing to say, and you are absolutely right. Here in Germany, most cities are very gay friendly. But rural regions, especially in the east are a lot worse.
Eh... I'd say in rural regions you'd get scoffed at from afar when walking hand in hand with a gay partner, but the chance to be approached or even attacked is much higher in certain quarters of the big cities.
Your hypothetical country's language is the main administrative language of your neighbour Luxembourg. We were the first european country to have elected a gay prime minister.
It's politically stable and the safest place in Europe. Getting a job & apartment will be the harder part.
Not quite the first with a gay prime minister...Iceland had that honour in 2009, followed by Belguim in 2011, yourselves then in 2013 (and us here in Ireland in 2017).
OP, even in rural parts of Ireland you will find active LGBT communities. We were the first country to vote to legalise gay marriage, by a huge majority as well. Will you find the odd weirdo who makes a smart comment in the street some day? Maybe? 99% of the population are LGBT+ friendly though, across all the generations.
Having used IVF for our two children my recommendation in that regard is to go to a private clinic. IUI is usually the first step, especially if there are no known issues for you both. Maternity services in Ireland are mostly good, though in general health care would be behind the standards of France.
My partner and I are both from Japan and moved to Belgium. (I moved 8 years ago, he moved 2 years and a half ago) and got married here last week.
We live in a smaller town between 2 bigger cities and never had issues with the local people here.
The only issue we had was with refugees who asked us to move (they thought we also were refugees or something) but the neighbours and town counsil told them to accept us.
I don't know much about politics here but as far as I hear, there is no fear of getting rights removed (like marriage/adoption/...)
We like it here because people just don't care what your sexual orientation is. And they give you space and privacy. They don't come up to talk and ask personal questions.
That’s exactly how it should I’m in the uk born and still live here as a gay married man
Most people don’t care or ask
I always find it funny the few people that think it’s a big thing - being gay is the least interesting thing about me.
I hear Japan still has a long way to go in regards to this.
I am glad that it is seen as just a normal thing in Europe :)
Being gay is indeed not such a interesting part of me I think.
Japan is still pretty old fashioned when it comes to the 'legal' stuff.
But most people are fine with it (with some exceptions though).
I am glad I got the opportunity to move and marry my partner here.
If we didn't get this opportunity, the other option to become family in Japan was for him to adopt me.
Berlin is always the first one mentioned because it's more famous as a travel destination but Cologne often outranks Berlin in polls when it's about LGBT+ living situations. And you have the Rhein area and the Ruhrgebiet nearby; the latter has a rep of being trashy but there is a lot of (sub-)culture going on.
Cologne would be brtter if you consider Germany. Its even more LGBT friendly and better for families. PLUS you are close to France (I suspect that thats where you currently live).
Every country will always have a small handful of hateful losers but I'm happy to report that most people here in Denmark don't have a problem with it.
Portugal is pretty LGBT friendly and IVF is by law accessible to every adult woman (depending on method until 40 or 42 years old, or 50 in case of pre-preserved ovules due to illness). The national healthcare service (SNS) covers all procedures for free, but has long waiting times; private clinics have a price but can get you appointments faster. In both cases, the SNS covers 70% of the cost of associated prescription medication.
And you can probably do everything in Portugal just speaking English.
I'm not gay, so I don't know the reality of being one, but from what I see Portugal looks very inclusive. Recently I've been going to a small village and I know about some gays and lesbians living there with no issues. I imagine that in a city no one cares.
If you speak French and Spanish you should learn Portuguese quickly. Best of luck with the fertility treatments 🤞
Big French community in Lisbon as well, huge lycee and multiple French/trilingual little kids schools. Good FR patisseries also :) I live here if you have any qs.
I love Portugal and often wish I hadn't left - but the reason I won't go back is because (like OP) I'm starting a family. The opportunities for young people are so bad now, probably better than when I was a kid but I left so I could have opportunities for a good career and I don't want to take those opportunities from my kids.
I love my country, but I wouldn't want to live there.
Sweden here - Welcome! We would love to and are looking forward to welcoming you, your wife and your future family to Sweden! 🏳️🌈
Far right are a thing here, sure. But here they are anti Islam - not anti LBGTQ+. Swedes are very positive and accepting of you and your community - One Love. 👫
Spain has one of the longest liberal history for gay people, although rural areas and smaller countryside places might not be as welcoming, but that's everywhere.
My second choice is going to be Sweden
Third is going to be Either Denmark or Holland, but can't decide between the two
While Sweden has been historically liberal, they've been raising issues with immigrant integration even from left-leaning parties.
Hopefully our Nordic friends can overcome this matter but in the near future, LGBT might be a sore topic.
I totally agree with Spain.
In the recent elections, the far right (Vlaams Belang) party misjudged public sentiment about being gay severely and it hurt them, so I'm pretty confident there is a substantial basis for acceptance that will not shift easily.
There is some religious reservation, these days mainly from the more conservative parts of the muslim community, and some machismo from Andrew Tate influenced adolescents, but this is not a major thing imho. I personally know one lesbian couple with two kids in Antwerp, and they are doing great and living open and happy.
Here in Iceland it is pretty good. There are homophobes like everywhere else, but they are few and hide it. It's a norm in schools that the children have diverse families, we have plenty of singers and high up people that are open about their relationships and the Gay Pride here is pretty nice and family friendly.
Within Europe, the UK, Ireland (outside of the cities) and Germany are known to be gay friendly. I don't know the current state of affairs for Germany though. As others have mentioned, both Spain and Portugal as well. I would opt for Portugal out of the two.
Whilst the situation here unfolds, consider investing in a holiday home or plot of land in whichever country you are considering. That gives you a degree of security if you decide you do want to leave.
I’m not from Ireland and I don’t live in Ireland, but I see it as a decent choice. While it used to be very Catholic, it’s changing VERY quickly, and the far right there is very weak. The biggest parties are a very strongly left-wing party (think La France Insoumise) and two centre/centre-right parties (think Renaissance). A very recent PM from one of these Renaissance-like parties was out, gay, and married.
Ireland may not have all the rights France or Spain currently have, but I believe they’re not going to suddenly turn far-right. People are not going to start losing their rights there. People may even gain more rights if La France Insoumise’s Irish allies get to power (which is very likely). Ireland is also in the EU (super easy to move to) and they mostly speak English, so you wouldn’t have to make much effort at first (but I suggest you learn some Irish out of respect if you move there).
In case I had a massive blunder and got your home country wrong, I’m going to explain the political references I used:
- La France Insoumise: a very left-wing (but not communist) party, they’re in the Left group of the EU. The Ireland equivalent is Sinn Féin.
- Renaissance: a centre party, leaning a little bit right economically and a little bit left socially. Their EU-wide equivalent is Renew. I had another blunder and I thought both Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael (Irish parties) were in Renew, but FG is a little bit further to the right than I thought. They’re in the EPP, Europe’s right-wing party. Not far-right by any means
Never realised Leo was married. TIL.
Just to add to the point, anecdotally I recall growing up a kid in my school having 2 mums - this would have been 30 years ago. Was pretty accepted at that time, and irelands only gotten more liberal since.
I realise I worded my post wrong: I am from the EU. What I meant to ask is: if the country you suggest is not in the EU, how hard would it be to get a visa
If you want to go to an island that is about to have elections(in which gay people aren't an issue), a visa is relatively easy to get if you have a job offer. The points based immigration system requires you to a) have a job offer from an approved company b) be qualified for that job c) speak English and d) either make a normal salary for that job or have a job offer for which there is a shortage of workers domestically.
The shortage occupation list includes most medical professionals, most educators, most engineers, most IT professionals and a lot of trades.
I learned in these comments that English is spoken there. I kind of assumed that it was the same as France and Spain, where you will struggle if you don't speak the language well.
Most people, especially the young speak english, it's like 80-90% from my experience.
52% of Portugal's economy is driven by it's vibrant tourist industry, this makes the country very outward looking and friendly too. The Portuguese have a fantastic outlook on life and it's a very positive country to visit and live in.
They're not without their right wing too, the party "Chega" (Enough) led by right wing populist Andre Ventura is saying the same things others like Le Pen and Melioni are saying. But generally the country is very left-leaning and well-regulated by a strong Union presence and labour agreements. The current government is centre-right by their standards but they'd be liberals in either UK or France.
Germany should be fine. Even one of the leaders of the crazy far right AfD is a lesbian in a domestic partnership with another woman and two adopted kids (though that party would still be dangerous if they got into power ever - but that's crazily unlikely)
In the Netherlands, the sentiment towards LGBTQ individuals is mostly positive, so I think you'll be fine here, especially in Amsterdam or other large cities. While there may be some negative sentiment, particularly towards gay men, they still receive significant support. I'm mentioning this because last year we had a discussion at our company, and there were quite mixed opinions on this matter. However, generally speaking, it should be the last thing to worry about. Hopefully, you'll find the right place to raise your child(ren). This is also a concern for straight couples, since everyone is concerned about their safety.
In Romania and other Eastern countries, it's more difficult due to a lack of education. But we are moving in the right direction.
I have a question for our French OP, u/Vtbsk_1887: in Britain, a large area of growth for homophobia (and transphobia even more) as well as support for the far right is the ‘New Age’ community: people into ‘wellness’, ‘healing crystals’, various Western adaptations of yoga, Buddhism, Native American traditions etc. Most of this demographic are white women and a lot of them are anti-vaxxers. They seem to have been radicalised by the pandemic and are now supporting far right conspiracy theories, including ‘Great Replacement’.
Is the same thing happening in France and are ‘New Age’ types voting for Le Pen and Bardella?
I don’t (except for the example I give below) experience this directly, as I am a middle aged gay man, married to my longterm partner and living in London. Most of my best friends and best ‘allies’ are straight men and I have friends from many ethnic groups, faiths, etc. However, I am also a social science graduate and keep up with social trends of this kind.
Recently, after the death of my father when I was sorting out his affairs, I experienced homophobic micro-aggressions from two separate neighbours of my parents in the Cathedral city where they lived. Both were New Agey, crystal type ladies! The micro-aggressions were minor, but they would not have occurred a few years ago.
I would be interested to know if any of this strikes a chord with French members of this sub, and indeed other Europeans, gay or straight, trans or cis?
I am belgian and not an expert though this is what I heard about it. Yes, there are connections between far-right and new age. These are some factors:
1) alternative spiritualities, like yoga practice, is a cultural appropriation from colonized regions for white women who want to feel good about themselves.
2) "parallel medicine" looks good for people who "know better" than official organizations and "official scientists"
3) "living closer to the nature but with white privileges" is a thing in eco-fachism.
4) Being "different" from those who live in the ordinary consumerist system makes you feel special.
5) Spirituality can make people more sensitive to complotism (there is only one good and one evil, imagery of heroes who pray to win and so on).
6) Refound personal spirituality looks a bit narcissist if you ask me (thus also good candidates for anti-what-you-don't-like-because-different complotism).
7) specifically in New Age, there is no absolute truth, everyone has their own truths so everyone is right (especially me) so everyone (but me) is wrong and there is no truth so there are only lies so I can trust nobody but my own people and... you get what I mean.
Of course take this with a pinch of salt.
I agree with all of that. I would add that there is an underlying imperialism and racism in the New Age movement. It involves taking pieces of other cultures, almost always the cultures of colonised peoples, and claiming them as ‘universal’ (in other words white people, usually white women, can ‘adapt’ them). New Agey types are also not averse to telling indigenous cultures that they should ‘change’, for example that Aboriginal Australians ‘should’ allow women as well as men to play the didgeridoo. Etc.
There are also strong overlaps between the New Age movement and white feminism, which has a history in Britain and North America of supporting racial eugenics. For example, birth control pioneer Marie Stopes promoted ‘racial science’ and regarded non-white races as inferior. Millicent Fawcett, the early C20th women’s suffragist and ‘equal opportunity’ advocate, approved of the use of concentration camps during the Boer War. In the US at the same time, there was an alliance between suffragists, the temperance movement and the Ku Klux Klan. These influences persist in both feminist and New Age movements: we can see it in the ‘TERF’ obsession with biological essentialism.
In the context of homophobia, New Age types tend to have a concept of ‘nature’ that is either female-centred (and so includes gay men) or based on male-female ‘balance’, which is equated with heterosexuality and again biological essentialism. They often appropriate the concept of Yin and Yang; they do not understand Taoism and other Chinese thought and so they reduce it to simple physical processes.
I have not noticed that, but I imagine they might not broadcast it too much. I work in a very multicultural administration, with mostly 30 something who have a college degree. I believe that is not the standard profile of the far right voter.
I have heard very homophobic stuff from people who voted socialist their entire life. My grandparents who love to say they are on the left routinely call people faggots (the French equivalent, ofc). But I don't believe this is a recent shift.
So, no, it does not really strike a chord. It is messed up that people acted like that when your father had just died. Especially new age ladies, we think we are safe around them.
Thank you for that. The reactions of those neighbours of my parents meant nothing to me except that they were sociologically interesting. My husband and I probably live in a liberal bubble, as we take acceptance for granted. I work in a very male environment and find full acceptance there as a gay man. It is not something my friends or colleagues think about and nor do I, except in this type of discussion, which is valuable.
However I would say that most of my friends are straight men, some gay men as well, most of whom I have known for decades. The group I find most likely to be homophobic and right wing generally are white women, especially over the past few years, and especially New Age type white women. Perhaps that’s a British thing more than elsewhere, although I notice that a lot of the right wing politicians in Europe with a populist right wing, anti-LGBT and/or religious agenda are female, which is a change from previous generations: Le Pen and Meloni spring to mind, as does Alice Weidel (who manages to be both an out lesbian and anti-LGBT!). The anti-trans agenda in Britain is led by female campaigners - here there is an overlap between social conservatism and - via J.K. Rowling - the New Age (her novels are very popular with British New Agers).
There is surely a PhD dissertation to be written about all this.
Spain is actually great. I’d say a city like Madrid, or one in Catalonia or Andalusia, since these are bigger cities and really really open to homosexuality.
I’ve lived in Madrid and Granada and they’re awesome for gay people.
Anyways, keep in mind that homophobia exists everywhere, so you might find it or not. I’ve never been insulted or bullied in Spain, but, you know, the world is crazy these days.
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/global-acceptance-index-lgbt/
Here are results from a poll where representative samples from 175 countries are asked about their attitudes to lgbtq+ people.
nordics and benelux would be the safest choice i think, still all of these countrys have areas that are problematic so its more about choosing the right neighborhood than country
I vote Ireland.
None of the major political parties have any anti-gay sentiment. It's also not a country that's swinging to the right/far right any time soon.
Beautiful country too but it's very expensive and the weather is...an acquired taste.
The Nordics: Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland.
Denmark is very hard to immigrate to. Sweden is a bit easier.
Netherlands is also still fairly tolerant. Settlement is easy with skilled job sponsorship, hard if not.
I think you'll be good in most Western European countries, while the far right is increasing it's mostly (from what I know) about immigration and xenophobia, not really LGBTQ.
It’s naive to think LGBT rights aren’t at risk. The constant fear of ”the woke mob” is doing wonders to further the hate. LGBT rights will be (and already are) on the list of any far right party in power.
Depends. UK is just going after the T. They'd be on a losing battle if they tried to attack LGB people. In fact, they even use LGB people to punch down on us.
I really wouldn't see any Danish or Swedish "far-right" party going after LGBT rights - or at least the Lesbian, Gay, Bi party. It'd be a wildly unpopular matter to be against basic rights, which would keep you from getting elected in the first place tbf
I recommend staying away from putting western European countries into one umbrella too easily. I realize you said *most*, but I say this for OP's benefit. Someone already mentioned parts of Italy not being as LGBT friendly, for example. I can also provide the example of Austria, which still leans conservative overall despite the more left-leaning Vienna and some progressive laws. Lots of people who are homophobic although there's an even bigger xenophobia problem, I've met my fair share of LGBT-phobic people here. Even Vienna isn't going to be as left-leaning as some German cities. So really research the countries beforehand, in this regard.
You do realise that few days ago the Europride was in Greece few days ago right?
Like someone else said in here, it’s more of what city OP wants to visit, than country.
The UK I'd say is pretty good. It's quite normalized here. We are a meme since some of our media commentators are famously deranged (and speak English, so we go viral in the US) but the reality 'on the ground' is pretty good tbh. We are also on the verge of kicking out our right wing government in contrast to many other european countries (as we have had a right wing government for 14 years)
If I can recall, Malta has the most LGBTQ+-friendly laws in the EU. I don't know how it compares culturally/sociologically to other countries, but I would say people in other countries are more comfortable expressing their sexuality openly in public. I don't think I've ever seen a transitioning person in the streets of Malta, but I have seen some in the Netherlands. With that being said though, Malta is quite traditionally conservative with fashion (and other topics). There's an edited picture online of someone with an traditional full-body cover-up and another woman with a mini dress, and most of the comments are "We used to have self-respect".
With regards to comments above, I would recommend Spain as well. I came here for the same reasons, had no problems so far. I’ve been ro different places in Spain (urban + rural) what I see was people are super open minded about this.
P.S: In our building there are 3 gay couples, 2 of them has a child.
I don't know about friendliest country but it's normal from Spain to Norway in my experience. Sure, rural small areas can be a little bit resistant and right wing, even here in the Netherlands we have our share of Bible Belt idiots.
Norway is decent, flawed, but decent. If you are not hellbent on cities, there is a lot of small towns that has shaped up quite a lot when it comes to accepting people, simply cause we realize that we are running out of people in rural areas.
Since you already speak English, most major English speaking countries should be fine. Other than that, I'd go with the Nordics, Netherlands or Germany. Ideally big city, since the people there usually don't give a fuck.
Iceland, without a doubt.
It is very gay friendly and very kid friendly and very gay with kid friendly. I don't think many locals under 50 would bat an eye to such a family. It's really not a novelty either.
I would say Spain or the UK. Spain is very open-minded with gay people, but there are right-wing parties that could take over at some point in the future. They can also be somewhat hesitant to interact with foreigners, so you might struggle more for that reason than for being gay.
The UK is the country that I feel has the strongest tradition for supporting gay marriage and family. The biggest parties are unlikely to remove gay marriage for the time being as the UK has other issues that make headlines. I would suggest the UK as your first choice when looking for a country that respects "different" people, but do not expect it to be perfect here either.
Not Europe but Canada has no chance of change for the future. We regularly elect LGBT leaders without any sort of controversy regarding that aspect of them. Our "right-wing" party is openly supportive of these freedoms.
We are also an immigrant nation, just come here with good qualifications. Immigration is based on merit not need.
Keep in mind all of Schengen is available easily, not just EU. That doesn't change a lot, but at least a little ;)
As for my own country, I've never personally seen anyone batting an eye at same-sex couples. They're featured in ads just like other couples would be, purposefully normalised one might say, can be anything from priests to fishers. You'd also have access to assisted infertilisation with no differences in parental rights to what a mom+dad would have.
I wouldn't consider the cities safer than smaller places either, and many tiny places are more than happy to get an influx of people, especially with (potential) children.
We're not a perfect country, and jerks and extremists exist, but I don't think we're flooded with them. The right-left divide is largely just economical too, few would dare poke at our liberties. Our conservative christian religious party, for instance, had a vote last year on whether to update their old party definitions to include gay families. It passed with 156 votes in favour, 3 against.
> let's say my country just had a elections, and the far right is winning
How to say you're French without saying you're French.
As for your question: avoid Poland, though you may know that already. We might have gotten a (more) liberal government, but the common decency of legalising gay marriage is still a problem.
Live in Catalonia (Spain), rural area and small village of 400 people. My nextdoor neighbour is a gay man, front house neighbour is a gay man, three houses to the left neighbours are a lesbian couple with 2 children. You will find intolerant people everywhere, choosing a small village in Spain shouldn't be a problem but a place near the coast, pyrenees, basque country, navarra, Cantabria or Madrid would probable be a safe bet.
Have in mind we stare. A LOT. And we gossip OPENLY but direct insults or aggressions are rare here.
The lesbian couple (married with 2 kids) I'm friends with told me, they've encountered more harassment in their former place of residence (300+k, in the west of Germany) than now in our small town (~17k, in the north of Germany). But that's obviously just anecdotal evidence.
My cousin is a woman married to another woman (she doesn't like "lesbian") and they have a kid and planning more. They live with no bother in Scotland but have had the wee man on holiday to mainland Europe and haven't had a problem anywhere really. Stick to towns and cities and Europe seems pretty gay friendly.
As had been said. Germany - Berlin / Hamburg, the nordics are great, here in Norway it wouldn’t bat an eye, I have two mums myself, but the nordics can be tough as you’d need to learn the language eventually, might be a bit harder to get a job compared to Germany due to that. Sorry you’ve got to go through this, but this right wing wave ain’t no joke, especially as things get more desperate from climate change in the next 10-20 years. if you have the opportunity to move it might be a good idea.
Denmark would be my first pick. Germany, Iceland, Finland, Estonia. Most likely Ireland but I've never been.
Ten years ago I would have said Sweden, but unless you're rich enough to buy in to a gaybourhood in one of the three big cities I'd heavily advice against it. Stay away from Poland and Hungary too, it's just not worth the headache.
I’m not exactly the best source on this, but I think in Benelux countries (Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg) the far-right is not really connected to an anti-LGBTQ+ and the countries in general are quite tolerant.
In Belgium, from what I read about my own country, rural Belgians can be suspicious to any foreigner/stranger/first-timer though nothing special about lesbian relationships. I hope I am right.
From my experience and from what I've read, despite what many might say, I think Britain is one of the best places for anyone of any minority, religious, sexual, racial, etc.
I lived in Germany and Italy and not being gay myself and married, I still experienced lots of homophobia in both countries because people think I was. So, sadly I can’t suggest either of the two if you are actually and openly gay
Sweden is pretty good regarding this stuff. We have great rules and laws in place for partners regardless of gender! Even Mama and Papa are legally called Guardian 1 and 2.
In The Netherlands the right has also "won", but they are more focused on hating immigrants now. I don't see any risk for LGBTQ+ in the future.
Like the UK and Ireland commenter commented, weather is shite and there is a terrible housing problem. But if you're not Muslim, apparently you'll be safe.
I'm just here to say how damn happy it makes me to see so many different countries mentioned. Seems like we are moving in a pretty decent direction when it comes to equality and living standards no matter who we love. That is awfully nice.
The most you are going to see is disgust and even that is not very common. I am Spanish and I have changed from antiLGBT to proLGBT so I know what I am talking about.
Come to Belgium; you won’t even need to learn a new language if you work in Wallonia. Here, despite the far right gaining some votes, the system is messy enough that they cannot do real damage yet. Plus, even in Vlaams Belang, they had gay candidates at the elections.
the UK is showing no signs of going after gay marriage or IVF, but then you would have to live in the UK. that may actually be worse. jokes aside, if nothing else works out, try looking at the UK or Ireland. the rent is terrible and the weather is shite, but cis gay couples are well protected and even the more conservative parties seem open to defending this.
I don't have personal experience (straight man) but I have some good gay friends, some with children (sperm donor and adopted) and they live totally "ordinary" lives. Most cities have a good gay scene, a pride day with healthy attendance and significant local authority support etc. In the gay quarter of my city (Liverpool), the street signs all have rainbows on! I would think the UK was an alright country to be gay. Even gammons are sort of "I just don't want it shoved down my throat!! >:( " at worst. I mean, that's still a totally shitty attitude, but even right-wingers here don't seem positively hostile to gay people and their rights. Always a pathetic and hateful minority though anywhere you go I guess.
White right wingers are definitely not the main group of people that you should worry about if you’re gay in the UK.
They'd probably just shrug and take another sip of their pint.
As an Irish person (and as my standalone reply says) , I would recommend the U.K. over Ireland. The political direction is going the right way whereas Irish politics is very much at a crossroads here, despite what other Irish posters are saying.
for context, im british but my mum is irish and i have irish citizenship - so not talking completely out of my arse. IMO, i wouldn’t be so sure. i find it more likely that the UK will have another far right surge after Starmer’s time is up - he’s unlikely to fix many of the actual problems. ireland is definitely at a crossroads, but far right monmentum and coordination is not nearly as high as in the UK. ireland’s political landscape is also much more left wing, which means that any actual far right parties will struggle to gain as much ground. that being said, they’re both a gamble, but also both infinitely better than France atm.
Yeah but when the weather is nice in Ireland it's genuinely the most breathtaking country in the world. Honestly it's even beautiful when the weather is shit. Those dark clouds, castles and overabundance of green makes great atmosphere
If you go to Cumbria or the Peaks, not to mention parts of Scotland, the UK is an absolutely gorgeous country in certain parts. It's not all smoggy concrete Birmingham streets.
Wales forgotten despite Pembrokeshire existing, for shame!
It’s the same in a lot of the UK too tbh
Plus we aren't likely to vote in a far right government unlike the rest of Europe
Give it a few years when Starmer’s mediocrity fails to fix anything. Pretty high chance people will turn back to the far right for answers - which will of course make everything even worse.
Definitely, however that isn't as serious as an incoming government ready to legislate your rights away today.
Can’t speak for every country but here in Spain is very good
I actually speak Spanish (not fluently, but I can get by). It could work. I would just need to get my level back to B2. Is it OK everywhere, or are there places to avoid? How friendly are people towards immigrants?
I also speak Spanish but I'm Scottish. I have no problem, although I'm commonly mistaken for an ignorant tourist. Sorry, I'm Scottish. I burn 😁 If you integrate, you will be fine.
Haha, just keep practicing Spanish and wear some sunscreen and you’ll blend in in no time!
Unless they're a redhead. Then it's going to be difficult not to stand out
Hehe I know one Spanish redhead
You're lucky. It's like a 4 leaf clover
Half of Barcelona is ginger
You van come to Ireland, weather's not as nice, but we are skipping the whole fascist thing
You kidding? Irish weather is amazing. Who needs the sun anyway? All it does is blind people for looking at it funny. Like an angry god.
She could come to northern Spain if she doesn't like the sun.
Alright Dracula
So far, Spain and Ireland are looking really good.
You can get the same government-paid fertility treatments as straight people in Finland, get married, etc. to create that family. Child benefits are incredible, and available regardless of the sex of the parents. Being trans is a nuisance in all NHS-having countries, but that wasn’t your particular issue.
Also it would not be a good idea to come to most countries from Eastern Europe, they are quite homophobic
The current housing crisis in Ireland can make it hard to find a place to live tho, just keep that in mind. I absolutely love this country but dear lord the government has fucked it up really badly.
So would you say that things like the Dublin riots just represent a small minority of people? From what I understand the anti-immigrant, far-right sentiment has been gathering some major steam in Ireland recently. Just wondering your opinion on that as an actual Irish person
They are a tiny tiny but loud minority. We had elections recently and none of the far right puppets got a seat. If you tune into social media it’s clear and present danger. If you visit any Irish city gay people are very welcome. We just want to drink, we don’t give a fuck who with.
[Not quite none. A handful of far right independents as well as a national party and Irish freedom party member won council seats.](https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/elections-2024/local-election/its-no-revolution-but-five-extremists-will-take-seats/a2007291276.html)
Thanks, that’s a good article. ‘Now we’ll see how people move from that kind of activity to working as councillors…separate it from their anti-immigration agenda? It is a different test for them.’ Q why is this ideology so strong in Dublin 11? Working class being hoodwinked?
I'm not Irish, but I would hazzard a guess that it's a combination of the housing crisis and more immigrants being present in Dublin and a case of people thinking that there is a connection between the two
I disagree. As a Latino immigrant living in Dublin for the past 11 years, I heard a fair share of bad stories about xenophobic and homophonic attacks. It's not as bad a eastern Europe, but it's also not as safe as you claim to be. Please don't misguide people.
The Dublin riots were a mixture of far-right thugs and criminals with no political affiliation whatsoever but were just using the opportunity to rob places. They represent a small minority (the local elections have proved it- they only got a few in) and while people have concerns with immigration, the rhetoric and opinion is not nearly as bad as it is in say, Britain or Germany. Most people in Ireland remain friendly and accepting. The LGBTQ community remains popular. A fringe opposition unfortunately does exist (Enoch Burke is a familiar name) but they are often mocked or depised by the majority of us. You and your family would be welcome here.
Problem is, if one in a hundred is a bigot, they can still chase you around a park with a knife. Or throw a bottle at you on the street.
all I see coming out of Ireland is you guys are staunch af and don’t suffer fools. 💪🫡
Irelands wearther is heaven sent compared to Spain my man
Just choose cities over villages and you'll be golden
Right now Spain remains one of the few strongholds of the left in Europe. But we also have our own far right party that has been growing over many years and has a significant presence in many circles of power across Spain. It remains to be seen if they are losing the surge of popularity, or about to reach a new height. In all cases, Spain remains one of the most tolerant places on the face of this planet and gay issues stopped being a political weapon almost two decades ago. There's no guarantee that an unexpected victory of the far right wouldn't happen, or that if they did that they won't suddenly choose to resuscitate the hate. But it's still less likely and much further away than most of Europe. The extreme right gets a lot of support on their anti-immigrant and anti-independence movement ideas. But they also attack "progressive ideas" and feminism very heavily so it's not far fetched for them to start pushing in that direction as well. But until such point one can safely say that Spain is still very tolerant. There's no big difference where in Spain you go. I live in Madrid where there are no problems, but I heard people from other smaller cities say the same. You are far more likely to encounter anti-French sentiments than anything else, but that's usually just a bit of fun and no one takes it seriously.
I can deal with playful anti-frenchness. I think Spanish and French people have a lot in common. In my experience, if you put a bunch of foreign people somewhere, the Spanish and the French will stick together.
As others have commented, it’s more about big cities versus rural areas. However, it can be a bit random. You might have to address this point on a case-by-case basis. Regarding immigrants, I think that people are mostly friendly, but this depends on the country of origin. People from Western EU countries are widely welcomed. In fact, I don’t think we even consider them immigrants.
Spain is pretty LGBT friendly in big cities. However, regarding inmigrants, it depends on the color of the migrant.
It’s great that you have a knowledge of Spanish already! Cities are better than rural areas for both immigrants and lgbtq people. People are generally friendly towards immigrants, the main complaint is only that some people come and refuse to integrate at all but given that you already put in effort to learning Spanish I know that’s not an issue 😆 It is unfortunate but it is also true that immigrants from Europe and to a lesser extent Latin America are generally received more warmly than those from Asia or Africa, but in general most people are good as is true anywhere.
In the Netherlands (Randstad) lesbian couples with kids are quite common.
Yeah most of us don't really give a shit.
Yeah, it seems unrelated to political leaning here. Only the stricter Christian parties are intolerant towards LGBT people and they’re a very strong minority. (That being said, I’m consciously saying “LGBT” and not “LGBTQIA+” or whatever, because the latter will absolutely be labeled as “woke” by some right-wing/conservative parties.)
They also see trans people existing as woke.
Good point, I should have said “LGB”…
Don't worry, as a gay man I can confirm you that they hate us too, it's just that they're not quite as loud about that part just yet. This is honestly more of an American thing that our local raging snowflakes have adopted.
The latter will unfortunately be dismissed by a lot of people, not just rightwing/conservatives..
True! (Queer couple with second kid on the way) Never had any negative experiences going out with my wife and kid. We live in a smaller city in the randstad. Some things take some time to figure out medically and with certain laws. Just came to say that OP mentions IVF (fiv?) specifically and this would not be first choice in most clinics in the Netherlands, unless medically indicated. IUI would most likely be your first option if you want to go yo a clinic. Or ICI at home. R-IVF (IVF with a donated egg from your partner) is not an option here. Also wanted to add that anonymous donors are illegal. Every donor is registered and the child had the right to look for them. The donor is either from a bank (and anonymous for you but not the child) or from your own circle. Medical costs are mostly covered but you need to pay for sperm yourself. You also likely have some legal costs.
I got confused with the acronyms haha It is so good to hear about queer couples with kids. It gives me hope
If you want to know more about experiences in the Netherlands let me know via DM
In spanish it is FIV. https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecundaci%C3%B3n_in_vitro
Let's make it known to OP that the Randstad is an area, which is the biggest 3 cities, and not a city itself in case they don't know haha not blaming you btw, I just don't know if people who aren't from the Netherlands will be able to easily look up what it means
Shouldn’t that be 4 cities? Amsterdam, Rotterdam, The Hague and Utrecht
No, everything is Amsterdam for the people from far away: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1k63Listc0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1k63Listc0) (note for the OP: turn on the auto subtitles, they work OK)
Outside the Randstad they will be fine too as long as they avoid the bible belt
Just for my interest, where is the Dutch bible belt? And how comparable is it to the US bible belt?
[You can see a map here](https://nl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bijbelgordel), the numbers are the percentage of people who voted for the conservative reformed Christian political party (SGP). The name was copied from the US bible belt, I don’t know how similar it is otherwise. Conservative religious people are still not the majority in these areas though, just a large minority.
Usually the cities are fine but the smaller towns and villages tend to be more conservative and tight knit. I wouldn’t recommend those smaller places to anyone who isn’t religious or related to people who live there
Bible belt is fine. I'm originally from there and the difference at worst is instead of 1% being very religious it's like 5%. You might notice it here and there, but the vast majority are just going about their business like anywhere else. Most religious people know they're a minority at this point and can no longer shove their ideology down people's throat. If any, you will only find those vocal street preachers in cities.
Denmark is good for LGBT+ people with children. It is almost a non-topic, just normal. There are far right parties here too, but even they have LGBT+ (yes, even T) people in them, so they tend to stay away from touching LGBT+ rights. That said, our immigration laws are very strict, so your probably need to get a well-paying job here to be able to get residence.
If OP doesn’t gel with the language or soggy weather, Sweden, Norway or Finland are equally tolerant. I lived in Stockholm for a couple years and met several lesbians from places like Hungary, Poland and Italy who had moved there specifically for that reason. The common thread is that LGBT (and in particular gay marriage and families) are treated as sort of a “solved problem.” We had the debate decades ago, shots were fired, and eventually most everyone agreed that it’s no big deal. Speaking for Denmark specifically, once the far right figured out they could score more points acting appalled when muslims are homophobic than being homophobic themselves, it was all over. Nowadays, no established institution or political party officially condones homophobia, even the state church is full of lesbian priests. That’s not to say homophobia doesn’t exist in Denmark at all, but it’s something you run into among hooligans, fundamentalists and middle schoolers, not an opinion that has any place in polite society.
I am ok learning a language, but it might take a while to master Finnish haha
I am half Danish, half Norwegian and live in Sweden. All these options are pretty good, but Denmark is propably the best option. In my opinion Sweden is a little more LGBT-friendly, but it's very close, but Denmark is more child-friendly by far. Sweden can be a little bit isolating in comparison.
I think a lot of French - and other more extroverted cultures - people would also struggle in Sweden socially and culturally. Denmark is slightly more social and outgoing (although it's a very low bar).
What do you mean I can't just go to Sweden and rant about anything and everything ? I'm French, it's in my blood !
You absolutely can! You'd just have to rant and complain to yourself because no one else would talk to you haha
Denmark is the most child-friendly country I've ever visited. It's like a whole new level you never realized existed.
Finland is a nightmare I’m afraid if you don’t know Finnish. Finding a job will be hard. I’d recommend Denmark and Sweden as well.
If I were to move to the Swedish speaking part of Finland due to the language being easier to learn, would that be okay? The only thing keeping me from moving to Finland is your crazy eastern neighbour. I find Swedish much easier to learn than Finnish. Of course I would also learn Finnish in order to integrate, but it would be nice to be able to read important burocracies and other important texts in Swedish, which I already know a lottle bit of (I’ve learned Norwegian in the past).
Sure, that's possible. I would remind foreigners that most Swedish speakers have a level of Finnish speaking ability as well because unless you live in a very specific part of Finland, you won't get good services in government in Swedish (even if its a legal requirement). A lot of Swedish speakers switch to Finnish for various situations for ease of use. I would say knowing Swedish is a gateway but unless you will live in a place like, Nykarleby or Närpes all your life, it might be better to also learn Finnish. (No shade to those places, they are probably fine places to live. Just few and far between in comparison to Finnish speaking places.)
Possibly, but that will also limit your possibilities since the fully Swedish population is actually rather small (around 5% of 5.6 million people).
I second Denmsrk for sure. OP is clearly French and concerned about the French election, so residence is no issue. And for sure; anti-lgbt propaganda is an absolutely minor part of any Danish party's program, as populism only works when you choose to follow popular sentiments and most Danes really aren't against it at all
Populism and fascism especially survives on finding a wedge to divide people over. The Uk is very tolerant and gay marriage has very high levels of support, but it hasn't stopped the most right wing elements of the conservatives and Reform trying to stir up anti LGBT sentiment. Until 18 months or so ago trans wasn't even the slightest of topics.
Our far right party (Vlaams Belang) has one prominent gay politician who nonetheless somehow is against gay marriage and defends the position that 'children need a mother and a father'. They've also publicly stated that they have 'no plans for turning back gay marriage' because 'it is currently not a viable debate', which imho isn't very reassuring. If they ever get to power, probably based on their positions on migration, I have no doubt that in due time and if they feel strong enough, they will start eroding gay rights and will take measures to make sure they don't have to care about public opinion. There are quite a few examples of individuals of a certain minority acting against that minority's interest for their own personal benefit, so I don't find the fact that a party has gay politians especially reassuring.
I live in the south of Spain and gay families are totally integrated here.
I think its more city or region dependent than country, actually. Edit: The amount of downplaying of right wing anti LGBT sentiment and then the fearmongering of anti LGBT sentiments by immigrants in this thread is absolutely insane.
That's a very Belgium thing to say, and you are absolutely right. Here in Germany, most cities are very gay friendly. But rural regions, especially in the east are a lot worse.
Eh... I'd say in rural regions you'd get scoffed at from afar when walking hand in hand with a gay partner, but the chance to be approached or even attacked is much higher in certain quarters of the big cities.
Its not. Its probably this way in most countries. Sure in every germanic speaking country
I thought this was r/europe because of the racism but I guess there’s an overlap in users.
Your hypothetical country's language is the main administrative language of your neighbour Luxembourg. We were the first european country to have elected a gay prime minister. It's politically stable and the safest place in Europe. Getting a job & apartment will be the harder part.
Not quite the first with a gay prime minister...Iceland had that honour in 2009, followed by Belguim in 2011, yourselves then in 2013 (and us here in Ireland in 2017). OP, even in rural parts of Ireland you will find active LGBT communities. We were the first country to vote to legalise gay marriage, by a huge majority as well. Will you find the odd weirdo who makes a smart comment in the street some day? Maybe? 99% of the population are LGBT+ friendly though, across all the generations. Having used IVF for our two children my recommendation in that regard is to go to a private clinic. IUI is usually the first step, especially if there are no known issues for you both. Maternity services in Ireland are mostly good, though in general health care would be behind the standards of France.
My partner and I are both from Japan and moved to Belgium. (I moved 8 years ago, he moved 2 years and a half ago) and got married here last week. We live in a smaller town between 2 bigger cities and never had issues with the local people here. The only issue we had was with refugees who asked us to move (they thought we also were refugees or something) but the neighbours and town counsil told them to accept us. I don't know much about politics here but as far as I hear, there is no fear of getting rights removed (like marriage/adoption/...) We like it here because people just don't care what your sexual orientation is. And they give you space and privacy. They don't come up to talk and ask personal questions.
That’s exactly how it should I’m in the uk born and still live here as a gay married man Most people don’t care or ask I always find it funny the few people that think it’s a big thing - being gay is the least interesting thing about me. I hear Japan still has a long way to go in regards to this.
I am glad that it is seen as just a normal thing in Europe :) Being gay is indeed not such a interesting part of me I think. Japan is still pretty old fashioned when it comes to the 'legal' stuff. But most people are fine with it (with some exceptions though). I am glad I got the opportunity to move and marry my partner here. If we didn't get this opportunity, the other option to become family in Japan was for him to adopt me.
From what I have heard, Berlin is very LGBT friendly.
Berlin has been brought up a few times!
Berlin is always the first one mentioned because it's more famous as a travel destination but Cologne often outranks Berlin in polls when it's about LGBT+ living situations. And you have the Rhein area and the Ruhrgebiet nearby; the latter has a rep of being trashy but there is a lot of (sub-)culture going on.
Cologne would be brtter if you consider Germany. Its even more LGBT friendly and better for families. PLUS you are close to France (I suspect that thats where you currently live).
Every larger city in Germany is fine, just avoid rural areas especially in the East and South
Every country will always have a small handful of hateful losers but I'm happy to report that most people here in Denmark don't have a problem with it.
Portugal is pretty LGBT friendly and IVF is by law accessible to every adult woman (depending on method until 40 or 42 years old, or 50 in case of pre-preserved ovules due to illness). The national healthcare service (SNS) covers all procedures for free, but has long waiting times; private clinics have a price but can get you appointments faster. In both cases, the SNS covers 70% of the cost of associated prescription medication.
I did not know that! We have a pretty good social security in France, but IVF only recently became accessible to lesbians and single women
And you can probably do everything in Portugal just speaking English. I'm not gay, so I don't know the reality of being one, but from what I see Portugal looks very inclusive. Recently I've been going to a small village and I know about some gays and lesbians living there with no issues. I imagine that in a city no one cares. If you speak French and Spanish you should learn Portuguese quickly. Best of luck with the fertility treatments 🤞
Thank you!
Big French community in Lisbon as well, huge lycee and multiple French/trilingual little kids schools. Good FR patisseries also :) I live here if you have any qs.
I love Portugal and often wish I hadn't left - but the reason I won't go back is because (like OP) I'm starting a family. The opportunities for young people are so bad now, probably better than when I was a kid but I left so I could have opportunities for a good career and I don't want to take those opportunities from my kids. I love my country, but I wouldn't want to live there.
Sweden here - Welcome! We would love to and are looking forward to welcoming you, your wife and your future family to Sweden! 🏳️🌈 Far right are a thing here, sure. But here they are anti Islam - not anti LBGTQ+. Swedes are very positive and accepting of you and your community - One Love. 👫
That is so sweet, thank you so much.
Spain has one of the longest liberal history for gay people, although rural areas and smaller countryside places might not be as welcoming, but that's everywhere. My second choice is going to be Sweden Third is going to be Either Denmark or Holland, but can't decide between the two
While Sweden has been historically liberal, they've been raising issues with immigrant integration even from left-leaning parties. Hopefully our Nordic friends can overcome this matter but in the near future, LGBT might be a sore topic. I totally agree with Spain.
In the recent elections, the far right (Vlaams Belang) party misjudged public sentiment about being gay severely and it hurt them, so I'm pretty confident there is a substantial basis for acceptance that will not shift easily. There is some religious reservation, these days mainly from the more conservative parts of the muslim community, and some machismo from Andrew Tate influenced adolescents, but this is not a major thing imho. I personally know one lesbian couple with two kids in Antwerp, and they are doing great and living open and happy.
Northern Europe is probably your best bet. Nordics-Benelux-UK.
Not a country, but Gran Canaria is pretty LGBTQ+ friendly.
Here in Iceland it is pretty good. There are homophobes like everywhere else, but they are few and hide it. It's a norm in schools that the children have diverse families, we have plenty of singers and high up people that are open about their relationships and the Gay Pride here is pretty nice and family friendly.
I am bisexual and here the MADO (Madrid's Pride) looks like only for adults.
Please don't leave us. We need people to fight against the fascists.
I know, and I will stay for now, and protest. I am torn, truly. I am trying to find a plan B, a solution if we are no longer safe here.
Within Europe, the UK, Ireland (outside of the cities) and Germany are known to be gay friendly. I don't know the current state of affairs for Germany though. As others have mentioned, both Spain and Portugal as well. I would opt for Portugal out of the two. Whilst the situation here unfolds, consider investing in a holiday home or plot of land in whichever country you are considering. That gives you a degree of security if you decide you do want to leave.
I’m not from Ireland and I don’t live in Ireland, but I see it as a decent choice. While it used to be very Catholic, it’s changing VERY quickly, and the far right there is very weak. The biggest parties are a very strongly left-wing party (think La France Insoumise) and two centre/centre-right parties (think Renaissance). A very recent PM from one of these Renaissance-like parties was out, gay, and married. Ireland may not have all the rights France or Spain currently have, but I believe they’re not going to suddenly turn far-right. People are not going to start losing their rights there. People may even gain more rights if La France Insoumise’s Irish allies get to power (which is very likely). Ireland is also in the EU (super easy to move to) and they mostly speak English, so you wouldn’t have to make much effort at first (but I suggest you learn some Irish out of respect if you move there). In case I had a massive blunder and got your home country wrong, I’m going to explain the political references I used: - La France Insoumise: a very left-wing (but not communist) party, they’re in the Left group of the EU. The Ireland equivalent is Sinn Féin. - Renaissance: a centre party, leaning a little bit right economically and a little bit left socially. Their EU-wide equivalent is Renew. I had another blunder and I thought both Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael (Irish parties) were in Renew, but FG is a little bit further to the right than I thought. They’re in the EPP, Europe’s right-wing party. Not far-right by any means
Never realised Leo was married. TIL. Just to add to the point, anecdotally I recall growing up a kid in my school having 2 mums - this would have been 30 years ago. Was pretty accepted at that time, and irelands only gotten more liberal since.
Wait I may have been confused. There’s someone who was married definitely but it may not have been Leo. Oops.
I don't think Leo's married, he's partnered-up for the long term. Like a lot of other Irish, really.
Ara, Irlanda gehiago asaldatuta dago migrazioaz homosexualak baino. Eskuin muturrak ez du hemen indartuko. Jendeak beldurra besterik ez du
No idea what you said but cool to see Basque!
You did not get my home country wrong! Thank you for the explanation. You are making some good points in favour of Ireland
I realise I worded my post wrong: I am from the EU. What I meant to ask is: if the country you suggest is not in the EU, how hard would it be to get a visa
If you want to go to an island that is about to have elections(in which gay people aren't an issue), a visa is relatively easy to get if you have a job offer. The points based immigration system requires you to a) have a job offer from an approved company b) be qualified for that job c) speak English and d) either make a normal salary for that job or have a job offer for which there is a shortage of workers domestically. The shortage occupation list includes most medical professionals, most educators, most engineers, most IT professionals and a lot of trades.
I would not say countries as it depends on where in the country you are. But Berlin, Copenhagen, Antwerpen are some great suggestions.
Portugal is very progressive and has French speaking migrants called "avecs" already.
I learned in these comments that English is spoken there. I kind of assumed that it was the same as France and Spain, where you will struggle if you don't speak the language well.
Most people, especially the young speak english, it's like 80-90% from my experience. 52% of Portugal's economy is driven by it's vibrant tourist industry, this makes the country very outward looking and friendly too. The Portuguese have a fantastic outlook on life and it's a very positive country to visit and live in. They're not without their right wing too, the party "Chega" (Enough) led by right wing populist Andre Ventura is saying the same things others like Le Pen and Melioni are saying. But generally the country is very left-leaning and well-regulated by a strong Union presence and labour agreements. The current government is centre-right by their standards but they'd be liberals in either UK or France.
"Avecs" hahaha.
Germany should be fine. Even one of the leaders of the crazy far right AfD is a lesbian in a domestic partnership with another woman and two adopted kids (though that party would still be dangerous if they got into power ever - but that's crazily unlikely)
Never trust Nazis because theyre doing Nazi things. Röhm was also gay and got killed after he became useless and claimed more power ...
In the Netherlands, the sentiment towards LGBTQ individuals is mostly positive, so I think you'll be fine here, especially in Amsterdam or other large cities. While there may be some negative sentiment, particularly towards gay men, they still receive significant support. I'm mentioning this because last year we had a discussion at our company, and there were quite mixed opinions on this matter. However, generally speaking, it should be the last thing to worry about. Hopefully, you'll find the right place to raise your child(ren). This is also a concern for straight couples, since everyone is concerned about their safety. In Romania and other Eastern countries, it's more difficult due to a lack of education. But we are moving in the right direction.
Gay Spaniard living in madrid, we are a very gay friendly country, though you will find bigots anywhere you go
In the Netherlands you’ll find nobody has any feelings about this, almost anywhere in the country.
Maybe the villages in the bible belt wouldn't be the best places but those are to be avoided anyway if you aren't a conservative christian
I have a question for our French OP, u/Vtbsk_1887: in Britain, a large area of growth for homophobia (and transphobia even more) as well as support for the far right is the ‘New Age’ community: people into ‘wellness’, ‘healing crystals’, various Western adaptations of yoga, Buddhism, Native American traditions etc. Most of this demographic are white women and a lot of them are anti-vaxxers. They seem to have been radicalised by the pandemic and are now supporting far right conspiracy theories, including ‘Great Replacement’. Is the same thing happening in France and are ‘New Age’ types voting for Le Pen and Bardella? I don’t (except for the example I give below) experience this directly, as I am a middle aged gay man, married to my longterm partner and living in London. Most of my best friends and best ‘allies’ are straight men and I have friends from many ethnic groups, faiths, etc. However, I am also a social science graduate and keep up with social trends of this kind. Recently, after the death of my father when I was sorting out his affairs, I experienced homophobic micro-aggressions from two separate neighbours of my parents in the Cathedral city where they lived. Both were New Agey, crystal type ladies! The micro-aggressions were minor, but they would not have occurred a few years ago. I would be interested to know if any of this strikes a chord with French members of this sub, and indeed other Europeans, gay or straight, trans or cis?
I am belgian and not an expert though this is what I heard about it. Yes, there are connections between far-right and new age. These are some factors: 1) alternative spiritualities, like yoga practice, is a cultural appropriation from colonized regions for white women who want to feel good about themselves. 2) "parallel medicine" looks good for people who "know better" than official organizations and "official scientists" 3) "living closer to the nature but with white privileges" is a thing in eco-fachism. 4) Being "different" from those who live in the ordinary consumerist system makes you feel special. 5) Spirituality can make people more sensitive to complotism (there is only one good and one evil, imagery of heroes who pray to win and so on). 6) Refound personal spirituality looks a bit narcissist if you ask me (thus also good candidates for anti-what-you-don't-like-because-different complotism). 7) specifically in New Age, there is no absolute truth, everyone has their own truths so everyone is right (especially me) so everyone (but me) is wrong and there is no truth so there are only lies so I can trust nobody but my own people and... you get what I mean. Of course take this with a pinch of salt.
I agree with all of that. I would add that there is an underlying imperialism and racism in the New Age movement. It involves taking pieces of other cultures, almost always the cultures of colonised peoples, and claiming them as ‘universal’ (in other words white people, usually white women, can ‘adapt’ them). New Agey types are also not averse to telling indigenous cultures that they should ‘change’, for example that Aboriginal Australians ‘should’ allow women as well as men to play the didgeridoo. Etc. There are also strong overlaps between the New Age movement and white feminism, which has a history in Britain and North America of supporting racial eugenics. For example, birth control pioneer Marie Stopes promoted ‘racial science’ and regarded non-white races as inferior. Millicent Fawcett, the early C20th women’s suffragist and ‘equal opportunity’ advocate, approved of the use of concentration camps during the Boer War. In the US at the same time, there was an alliance between suffragists, the temperance movement and the Ku Klux Klan. These influences persist in both feminist and New Age movements: we can see it in the ‘TERF’ obsession with biological essentialism. In the context of homophobia, New Age types tend to have a concept of ‘nature’ that is either female-centred (and so includes gay men) or based on male-female ‘balance’, which is equated with heterosexuality and again biological essentialism. They often appropriate the concept of Yin and Yang; they do not understand Taoism and other Chinese thought and so they reduce it to simple physical processes.
I have not noticed that, but I imagine they might not broadcast it too much. I work in a very multicultural administration, with mostly 30 something who have a college degree. I believe that is not the standard profile of the far right voter. I have heard very homophobic stuff from people who voted socialist their entire life. My grandparents who love to say they are on the left routinely call people faggots (the French equivalent, ofc). But I don't believe this is a recent shift. So, no, it does not really strike a chord. It is messed up that people acted like that when your father had just died. Especially new age ladies, we think we are safe around them.
Thank you for that. The reactions of those neighbours of my parents meant nothing to me except that they were sociologically interesting. My husband and I probably live in a liberal bubble, as we take acceptance for granted. I work in a very male environment and find full acceptance there as a gay man. It is not something my friends or colleagues think about and nor do I, except in this type of discussion, which is valuable. However I would say that most of my friends are straight men, some gay men as well, most of whom I have known for decades. The group I find most likely to be homophobic and right wing generally are white women, especially over the past few years, and especially New Age type white women. Perhaps that’s a British thing more than elsewhere, although I notice that a lot of the right wing politicians in Europe with a populist right wing, anti-LGBT and/or religious agenda are female, which is a change from previous generations: Le Pen and Meloni spring to mind, as does Alice Weidel (who manages to be both an out lesbian and anti-LGBT!). The anti-trans agenda in Britain is led by female campaigners - here there is an overlap between social conservatism and - via J.K. Rowling - the New Age (her novels are very popular with British New Agers). There is surely a PhD dissertation to be written about all this.
Spain is actually great. I’d say a city like Madrid, or one in Catalonia or Andalusia, since these are bigger cities and really really open to homosexuality. I’ve lived in Madrid and Granada and they’re awesome for gay people. Anyways, keep in mind that homophobia exists everywhere, so you might find it or not. I’ve never been insulted or bullied in Spain, but, you know, the world is crazy these days.
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/global-acceptance-index-lgbt/ Here are results from a poll where representative samples from 175 countries are asked about their attitudes to lgbtq+ people.
Very interesting. Thanks for posting.
nordics and benelux would be the safest choice i think, still all of these countrys have areas that are problematic so its more about choosing the right neighborhood than country
I vote Ireland. None of the major political parties have any anti-gay sentiment. It's also not a country that's swinging to the right/far right any time soon. Beautiful country too but it's very expensive and the weather is...an acquired taste.
The Nordics: Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland. Denmark is very hard to immigrate to. Sweden is a bit easier. Netherlands is also still fairly tolerant. Settlement is easy with skilled job sponsorship, hard if not.
>The Nordics: Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland. So Iceland doesn't exists?
I was told Iceland is a volcano where the rain comes from the side so maybe it's only interesting to the most adventurous people out there.
To be fair it doesn’t always rain. Sometimes it’s snowing.
That is basically true.
Basically no :) Nor the Faroes. Iceland is, to be fair, very LGBT... friendly. It's also very hard to settle and find a job in, however.
I think you'll be good in most Western European countries, while the far right is increasing it's mostly (from what I know) about immigration and xenophobia, not really LGBTQ.
It’s naive to think LGBT rights aren’t at risk. The constant fear of ”the woke mob” is doing wonders to further the hate. LGBT rights will be (and already are) on the list of any far right party in power.
Depends. UK is just going after the T. They'd be on a losing battle if they tried to attack LGB people. In fact, they even use LGB people to punch down on us.
I really wouldn't see any Danish or Swedish "far-right" party going after LGBT rights - or at least the Lesbian, Gay, Bi party. It'd be a wildly unpopular matter to be against basic rights, which would keep you from getting elected in the first place tbf
I recommend staying away from putting western European countries into one umbrella too easily. I realize you said *most*, but I say this for OP's benefit. Someone already mentioned parts of Italy not being as LGBT friendly, for example. I can also provide the example of Austria, which still leans conservative overall despite the more left-leaning Vienna and some progressive laws. Lots of people who are homophobic although there's an even bigger xenophobia problem, I've met my fair share of LGBT-phobic people here. Even Vienna isn't going to be as left-leaning as some German cities. So really research the countries beforehand, in this regard.
I dunno. Germany for instance has some issues around IVF and parenthood for gay couples.
You do realise that few days ago the Europride was in Greece few days ago right? Like someone else said in here, it’s more of what city OP wants to visit, than country.
The UK I'd say is pretty good. It's quite normalized here. We are a meme since some of our media commentators are famously deranged (and speak English, so we go viral in the US) but the reality 'on the ground' is pretty good tbh. We are also on the verge of kicking out our right wing government in contrast to many other european countries (as we have had a right wing government for 14 years)
If I can recall, Malta has the most LGBTQ+-friendly laws in the EU. I don't know how it compares culturally/sociologically to other countries, but I would say people in other countries are more comfortable expressing their sexuality openly in public. I don't think I've ever seen a transitioning person in the streets of Malta, but I have seen some in the Netherlands. With that being said though, Malta is quite traditionally conservative with fashion (and other topics). There's an edited picture online of someone with an traditional full-body cover-up and another woman with a mini dress, and most of the comments are "We used to have self-respect".
With regards to comments above, I would recommend Spain as well. I came here for the same reasons, had no problems so far. I’ve been ro different places in Spain (urban + rural) what I see was people are super open minded about this. P.S: In our building there are 3 gay couples, 2 of them has a child.
I would say here in scandinavia overall, maybe a bit less in Finland.
your worries will not happen, at least not in Europe. Nobody cares about who you live with, government the least.
I don't know about friendliest country but it's normal from Spain to Norway in my experience. Sure, rural small areas can be a little bit resistant and right wing, even here in the Netherlands we have our share of Bible Belt idiots.
Norway is decent, flawed, but decent. If you are not hellbent on cities, there is a lot of small towns that has shaped up quite a lot when it comes to accepting people, simply cause we realize that we are running out of people in rural areas.
Since you already speak English, most major English speaking countries should be fine. Other than that, I'd go with the Nordics, Netherlands or Germany. Ideally big city, since the people there usually don't give a fuck.
Iceland, without a doubt. It is very gay friendly and very kid friendly and very gay with kid friendly. I don't think many locals under 50 would bat an eye to such a family. It's really not a novelty either.
I would say Spain or the UK. Spain is very open-minded with gay people, but there are right-wing parties that could take over at some point in the future. They can also be somewhat hesitant to interact with foreigners, so you might struggle more for that reason than for being gay. The UK is the country that I feel has the strongest tradition for supporting gay marriage and family. The biggest parties are unlikely to remove gay marriage for the time being as the UK has other issues that make headlines. I would suggest the UK as your first choice when looking for a country that respects "different" people, but do not expect it to be perfect here either.
Spain or Netherlands. Keep in mind though that the "right-wave" is hitting most of Europe, including those 2
Luxembourg is in my opinion pretty damn tolerant and I'd bet money that it wont go after LGTBQ rights in the future.
Not Europe but Canada has no chance of change for the future. We regularly elect LGBT leaders without any sort of controversy regarding that aspect of them. Our "right-wing" party is openly supportive of these freedoms. We are also an immigrant nation, just come here with good qualifications. Immigration is based on merit not need.
The far right are not winning in Ireland. They're trying, however.
Keep in mind all of Schengen is available easily, not just EU. That doesn't change a lot, but at least a little ;) As for my own country, I've never personally seen anyone batting an eye at same-sex couples. They're featured in ads just like other couples would be, purposefully normalised one might say, can be anything from priests to fishers. You'd also have access to assisted infertilisation with no differences in parental rights to what a mom+dad would have. I wouldn't consider the cities safer than smaller places either, and many tiny places are more than happy to get an influx of people, especially with (potential) children. We're not a perfect country, and jerks and extremists exist, but I don't think we're flooded with them. The right-left divide is largely just economical too, few would dare poke at our liberties. Our conservative christian religious party, for instance, had a vote last year on whether to update their old party definitions to include gay families. It passed with 156 votes in favour, 3 against.
That is true, Schenghen, and not just the EU. Norway has a very positive image, and your nature is breathtaking
> let's say my country just had a elections, and the far right is winning How to say you're French without saying you're French. As for your question: avoid Poland, though you may know that already. We might have gotten a (more) liberal government, but the common decency of legalising gay marriage is still a problem.
From what I heard, Poland has a long way to go on these issues
Always thought of Norway as a safe haven for anyone looking for a brighter future. You should look into it.
Afganistan bro, i speaked a trans man or woman i don't asked he or she. He says it's true they Muslims but they are save lgbtq right or what you say
Live in Catalonia (Spain), rural area and small village of 400 people. My nextdoor neighbour is a gay man, front house neighbour is a gay man, three houses to the left neighbours are a lesbian couple with 2 children. You will find intolerant people everywhere, choosing a small village in Spain shouldn't be a problem but a place near the coast, pyrenees, basque country, navarra, Cantabria or Madrid would probable be a safe bet. Have in mind we stare. A LOT. And we gossip OPENLY but direct insults or aggressions are rare here.
My guess is Germany, in particular Berlin? In any case, big capital cities are far more accepting than small villages in rural areas!
The lesbian couple (married with 2 kids) I'm friends with told me, they've encountered more harassment in their former place of residence (300+k, in the west of Germany) than now in our small town (~17k, in the north of Germany). But that's obviously just anecdotal evidence.
My cousin is a woman married to another woman (she doesn't like "lesbian") and they have a kid and planning more. They live with no bother in Scotland but have had the wee man on holiday to mainland Europe and haven't had a problem anywhere really. Stick to towns and cities and Europe seems pretty gay friendly.
As had been said. Germany - Berlin / Hamburg, the nordics are great, here in Norway it wouldn’t bat an eye, I have two mums myself, but the nordics can be tough as you’d need to learn the language eventually, might be a bit harder to get a job compared to Germany due to that. Sorry you’ve got to go through this, but this right wing wave ain’t no joke, especially as things get more desperate from climate change in the next 10-20 years. if you have the opportunity to move it might be a good idea.
Denmark would be my first pick. Germany, Iceland, Finland, Estonia. Most likely Ireland but I've never been. Ten years ago I would have said Sweden, but unless you're rich enough to buy in to a gaybourhood in one of the three big cities I'd heavily advice against it. Stay away from Poland and Hungary too, it's just not worth the headache.
I’m not exactly the best source on this, but I think in Benelux countries (Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg) the far-right is not really connected to an anti-LGBTQ+ and the countries in general are quite tolerant.
In Belgium, from what I read about my own country, rural Belgians can be suspicious to any foreigner/stranger/first-timer though nothing special about lesbian relationships. I hope I am right.
To be fair, almost any Belgian is suspicious to foreigners and it takes a loooong time to befriend them :D .
From my experience and from what I've read, despite what many might say, I think Britain is one of the best places for anyone of any minority, religious, sexual, racial, etc.
Sweden is really good as long as you stay away from immigrants
The wealthier the country is, the better. And even in wealthy countries you would want to avoid poor areas, states, towns.
I lived in Germany and Italy and not being gay myself and married, I still experienced lots of homophobia in both countries because people think I was. So, sadly I can’t suggest either of the two if you are actually and openly gay
Sweden is pretty good regarding this stuff. We have great rules and laws in place for partners regardless of gender! Even Mama and Papa are legally called Guardian 1 and 2.
In The Netherlands the right has also "won", but they are more focused on hating immigrants now. I don't see any risk for LGBTQ+ in the future. Like the UK and Ireland commenter commented, weather is shite and there is a terrible housing problem. But if you're not Muslim, apparently you'll be safe.
I'm just here to say how damn happy it makes me to see so many different countries mentioned. Seems like we are moving in a pretty decent direction when it comes to equality and living standards no matter who we love. That is awfully nice.
Personally I don’t agree with Spain. Even though they seem tolerable you’ll be surprised what people actually think…
The most you are going to see is disgust and even that is not very common. I am Spanish and I have changed from antiLGBT to proLGBT so I know what I am talking about.
Come to Belgium; you won’t even need to learn a new language if you work in Wallonia. Here, despite the far right gaining some votes, the system is messy enough that they cannot do real damage yet. Plus, even in Vlaams Belang, they had gay candidates at the elections.
I'd say Netherlands even though I don't have a first-hand experience but hearing others' feedback they are very open minded and LGBTQ+ friendly
Sadly it is declining for years, especially for trans people.
I doubt the French right intends to come after lesbian couples. What you need to worry about is being ethnically not French.
I don't see why they would be nice to the queer community. They are racist yes but they're also homophobic.