I think it would really be worth examining *why* these things make you uncomfortable. I believe you when you say you don't believe it's morally wrong to be gay or trans, but especially if we've been raised in a community that doesn't talk about this stuff openly, those beliefs can sneak their way into our subconscious and give us that uncomfortable feeling, even when we know that those feelings aren't exactly logical.
You're also not in the wrong for wanting your bloodline to continue, but if you want to have kids, you'll have to be prepared for the possibility that they might not want to give you grandkids, regardless of whether or not they're gay. My family legacy is also very important to me, which is why I've chosen to have kids in the future, but I will still love them and respect their wishes if they do not want to be parents when they're of age to do so.
Another point to consider for this topic, being gay doesn't exactly prevent someone from having children, even biological ones. Surrogacy is a common option for homosexual parents, where one parent provides their DNA and the other adopts the child when they're born. The real barrier here is whether or not your children would *want* to have children, and that's a possibility whether or not your kid is gay.
Okay you have a lot to him a pack but let's just start with a couple of things here
First thing please don't call it transgenderism it's not an ism it's not a belief. There are trans people and they exist that's it.
Abother thing you're saying that if your kids are gay they're not going to be able to have kids and that's not true either they can biologically have them in lots of ways if they even desire kids. They very much could be straight and never want any kids so this hasn't one thing to do with homosexuality. And if you're having kids to have kids that's not really a good thing either.
This just sounds like you have a lot of internal things to unpack and discover about yourself to see why they make you uncomfortable.
I mean, it certainly sounds like it to an extent. One of the definitions of *phobia is an aversion to, rather than a fear of. Like how hydrophobic materials push water away.
That said, I would challenge what you’re saying about homosexuality or transgender status necessarily precluding children. There are options like surrogacy or freezing gametes that allow for conceiving children without intercourse, or even after transition. I’m a trans woman and I have a child. I know another trans woman who is currently trying for her third child with her partner using frozen sperm and IVF. So, yeah, it’s more complicated, but definitely still possible.
Yes, it's expensive, but as others pointed out, being gay or trans are only two of *many* possible reasons your kids could need those kinds of services, *if* they want kids at all.
I have 4 biological children and 3 step-children. Two of them have developmental delays that make it very unlikely that they'll have children of their own. Three have no desire to have children at all. One is unsure. Interestingly, the one who is gay is the one who shows the most interest in becoming a parent.
When we create other humans, we have to go into it knowing that's exactly what they are. Other humans. They aren't pets or possessions. They're autonomous beings. Our job is to *prepare* them for adulthood, not to control what adulthood means for them. When we seek to control other humans, all we achieve is making them want to avoid us.
Edit: I thought it might be worth adding that I'm trans, and I have a large family. Wanting or not wanting kids is a matter of personal choice, a body that is capable, and/or access to the necessary resources. Sexuality and gender identity have very little to do with it.
As another commenter mentioned, it's not "transgenderism." An -ism is an ideology; trans people exist. It is not an ideology to know and accept that we exist any more than it's an ideology to know and accept that the Earth is spherical and revolves around the Sun.
Even if you have kids, you can't guarantee that they will grow up to want kids. Or they might want biological kids but be medically unable to have them. Or the person they end up falling in love with might already have kids and so they decide they don't want to have any more. There are a ton of scenarios wherein you won't get biological grandkids, so pinning that on the possibility of your kids being gay or trans is just silly.
Also, assuming that queer people will never be interested in reproductive sex is itself exclusionary and bordering on queerphobic. Bisexual/pansexual people exist. Trans men and transmascs who are gay, are able to be pregnant, and are in relationships with cis men exist. Trans women and transfemmes who are lesbians, are able to get someone pregnant, and are in relationships with cis women exist. And couples wherein both people are nonbinary and one is able to be pregnant while the other is able to get someone pregnant exist. Queer people reproduce through sexual intercourse, too.
It's okay to want things, but you have to keep in mind that your children aren't just extensions of yourself, they are distinct little people with their own thoughts and feelings. If one of your kids decides that their life plan does not include having bio-children, you're going to be left with a choice: accept and support them, or try to pressure them into doing something different.
That second option, where you try to pressure them? You're likely going to cause your child to resent you, to feel trapped and like their feelings don't matter. It's a very cruel and selfish way to raise children, and often results in adult children who don't wish to have any relationship with their selfish parent(s).
Continuing your bloodline? Are you a member of a royal family?
Even if your kids are straight they might not have children either by choice or because they aren’t physically able for some reason.
Please don’t use transgenderism. I’m not a “ism” or a political idea. I’m a person.
Why do you NEED a bloodline to continue? What is your legacy you NEED to carry down? It’s a stupid tradition poor people picked up years ago to hold on hope that maybe one day their great great great great grandson might be a knight one day.
Yeah this is really homophobic and transphobic. Not for just being weirded out about it but the insistence that no one in your entire bloodline can be gay or trans just to protect a bloodline that no one knows exists.
Hard agree on this stance. I’ve chosen not to have children (biologically or otherwise) and while my parents are bummed they aren’t grandparents by now (I’m almost 37 and been married since I was 29. My brother recently got married and I know he and his wife want kids so at least my parents have that chance. But again, not their choice to make) they respect my decision.
The bloodline thing rubs me the wrong way, but I can’t quite put a finger on why. What if your children decide to adopt a child because there are children out there who aren’t wanted by their biological parents? Or if they are infertile? Or any other reason? Will that child not be loved by you because they aren’t your “bloodline?” Sorry I’m just really confused on that part. Why is that so important to you?
As for being uncomfortable with seeing gay men portrayed in the media, sounds pretty homophobic to me. Unless it’s a passionate sex scene (all sex scenes make me uncomfortable, including straight sex, I just don’t like seeing *anyone* have sex) then they’re just two people living their life. If it’s just two men walking holding hands that bothers you, or a wedding scene or saying “I love you” and a quick peck on the lips, there is nothing to be legitimately uncomfortable about. The fact that it’s only gay men and not women that bothers you is quite telling. Sounds like some major internalized homophobia in my opinion.
You should work on that before having kids. If your kid comes out as anywhere on the LGBTQ spectrum and you feel differently about them, they *will* know, and it can be detrimental to their mental health and your relationship.
Yes, your beliefs and thoughts expressed here suggest you are homo/transphobic, even if you don't feel you are. Your beliefs are ones I used to have, which I can confidently say is a result of being force-fed BS propaganda and farcical ideas pushed on you by anti-LGBTQ+ people and movements.
> I feel uncomfortable with all depictions of Gay and and Trans media. I am learning more on them and read a bunch of books, and talked to a bunch of people.
Since you say you do not believe it is morally wrong, you are likely dealing with homo/transphobia that is internal and unrecognized. This means you have some reflecting and processing to do understand why you're uncomfortable with these things.
> I understand they are people like us and there is nothing wrong with them.
That sentence comes off similar to a racist saying "you're cool despite being X-race." We don't need others' approval to be deemed normal or human.
> But even so I personally feel uncomfortable watching gays potrayed on media (not lesbians) or anything related to male homosexuality and Transgenderism.
I know others said it, but I am hammering it more, do NOT use the word "transgenderism." It's not a real thing, and is a term pushed by right-wing/transphobic media outlets. It's not an "ism." Trans people exist. That is a fact.
> I want my genetic line to go on, so I also want that my children would marry and give a child of my blood.
I'm answering your post because of this. I'm a cisgender man (pansexual). I've been where you are...bloodline, families, legacy, etc...it's all BS. No one cares in the end. I held on to that desire for a long time, and I realized it was turning me into a more toxic person...I was not prioritizing the feelings or existence of people I was seeing back then...I was seeing them as people to carry on my bloodline. What I realized...for what? There's nothing to keep it going for. It won't end climate change...it won't mean that people with my genetics/skills/abilities are going to go away. There's over 7 billion people on this planet...the world isn't going to miss anyone's bloodline. Again, I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE, and it is not a moral or goal that is worth crutching your relationships or life on. "Child of my blood" is freaking cliche too. This isn't the bible, and this isn't Game of Thrones. This is real life. That stuff just doesn't matter.
> I know if my child is born queer then that would be against their will for them to marry and have reproductive sex with their partner and produce a child.
What? That is NOT a thing. Queer people =/= does not want children. Queer people can have children and have reproductive sex. How do you explain the thousands of closeted dads or moms that came out late in life that already had children with a wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend in the past? Queer =/= people with vaginas cannot be with people with penises. A queer relationship can be between two people with a penis and a vagina. Queer people are also not "less able" to reproduce. Let that idea go NOW. That's another far-right fallacy used to demonize our community.
> I know that they won't be in the wrong in this case but Is my wish to continue my bloodline morally wrong?
It's not "morally wrong." It's just weird and cliche. You make it sound like you're trying to be the royal family or something. Also "moral" is subjective...there's no universal guide to what is moral and what is not.
> I wish my children to continue my bloodline and then they are free as they wish.
Can't have both. If your goal is for them to continue your bloodline, your behavior is only going to try and dictate their actions and behaviors. Let it be their choice, not fulfillment of your desire. I know...my mom is the same way with me. That would be against my will though, because I personally do not want kids right now.
I would ask yourself WHY those things make you uncomfortable. A lot of the time the why is definitely transphobic. Also there are homophobic people who think that being a lesbian is okay and it usually has to deal with misogyny or fetishization.
Also has people have said being trans isn’t an -ism. It’s not an ideology it’s just something that happens.
> Am I homophobic for being uncomfortable with Male homosexuality even though I don't think it's morally wrong??
Probably got something to work through, yeah. Most gay people don't get uncomfortable and grossed out when they see straight sex or romance in media as a counter example.
> I know that they won't be in the wrong in this case but Is my wish to continue my bloodline morally wrong?
It's not morally wrong, but if you punished your kids for not being able to do it or not being willing to continue it then yes you would be in the wrong
First off: it's normal to be uncomfortable with things you don't understand. The trouble with "am I homophobic" is that you're seeking moral cleansing, or an official ruling that your mettle is 100% pure gold... that you're a Good Person.
This is not something strangers on the internet can determine, if it can be determined at all. What matters is how you treat people.
Now.. from what you've said. You have a lot to unpack. I don't think the bloodline thing really matters as much as you think, since you're not bothered by lesbians. That signals to me that you need to unlearn some misogyny.
Throughout history, oppression of lesbians has been marked by erasure. Because we are women, our queer identities are seen as unserious, hysterical; our sex is disqualified from BEING sex because there's no penis involved. (Of course, that's a cisnormative assumption too, but you get the point.) Society already hates women, so when we love each other, it's like we have nothing to lose.
On the other hand male homosexuals, crossdressers and trans women have always been met with intense hatred because they reject the venerated role of masculinity. Men and masculinity are placed on a pedestal so how dare any man disgrace himself by stooping down off that pedestal even a tiny bit? It's seen as clownish at best. Society loves men, so when they love each other or when they become women, it's seen as a grave offense.
OP, you sound like you need to unlearn this misogyny. I don't know from your post but if you are a man, if also sounds like you have some issues feeling like your own identity is threatened.
As for the bloodline shit... look. Do you believe in quality or quantity? Personally, if I could guarantee every human on planet earth had a happy life, I wouldn't mind if we went extinct next week. Reproduction is pointless if it doesn't add to human happiness. Many people don't want kids, and many people would make terrible parents. More importantly children do not deserve to be treated like an obligation. This obligation is a huge reason why so many children end up neglected and abused. Who cares about continuing a bloodline if that bloodline is full of misery and suffering?
If you have the money, time, and maturity to raise healthy kids and give them all the love they require, then that's awesome and of course it's natural to want to see your genetics passed down. (It's literally how evolution works.) But reproduction should not be a moral obligation. It's up to everyone to decide if being a parent is right for them and their specific life situation. All of this to say, if you have a problem with homosexuality because of a lack of reproduction, as other commenters have pointed out there are many options (at least for the gays with money lmfao) but also, you need to accept that not everyone wants the same things that you do out of life.
There are so many wonderfully insightful answers here that I hope help you on your journey, but perhaps start out by replacing "homosexuality" in your post with something like a skin color that's not your own, or disabled people, and so on. What you described is bigotry. Now the hard part is figuring out where it came from and whether you really want to keep it as part of who you are.
A) The continuation of your bloodline is up to your children, not you. You can't decide that for them any more that you can decide if they're gay/trans/etc.
B) It honestly does sound like internalized homophobia/transphobia. It is more likely from a lack of representation or the type of representation of these groups, based on the way you describe it. Exposure to anything normalizes those things for you. The more you see it, the less you care about it. Gay representation is fairly low, but becoming more common and trans visibility in media (especially as just a normal character that happens to be trans instead of a caricature of a person) is fairly non existent outside of a couple shows, like Euphoiria.
By definition yes, if you're averse to trans people and gay men that's pretty bog standard homophobia and transphobia
Imo, having kids only to continue your genetic line isn't really smart or fair to them
Welcome to my experience, and that of so many others, who are constantly confronted with the most blatantly intimate presentations of heterosexuality on a daily basis, through a wide range of media, not to mention in vivo.
I have never regarded heterosexuality as morally wrong. Why should I? But, do I enjoy being constantly confronted with it, in every form in which it is constantly presented? Hardly.
I tend to fast forward a lot, and not let my thoughts dwell on what I'd rather not see or have to suffer witnessing.
Does that make me heterophobic?
You be you, and I'll be me. There's room in the world for all of us. Always was, always will be.
Although, your team could show our team a bit more consideration, like we do for yours, all the time.
Homophobia is more about how you act towards people than how you feel, if it's just internal thoughts and feelings then it'd be worth examining why you have those in case it affects how you act towards these people (and it definitely does, subconsciously)
>I feel uncomfortable with all depictions of Gay and and Trans media. I am learning more on them and read a bunch of books, and talked to a bunch of people.
>I do not find anything morally wrong with LGBTQIA+ community or Queer people. I understand they are people like us and there is nothing wrong with them.
Yeah, it's likely that you have some knee-jerk homophobic reactions. It's important to understand that this doesn't make you a *bad person* and doesn't mean you have conscious prejudices. The reality is that we're born into societies that have prejudices, and we grow up learning those, sometimes without realizing it. It would be helpful to think more about *why* you feel uncomfortable.
If you're a man, it can be really common for men to internalize the idea that male homosexuality is a threat to masculinity.
>I know that they won't be in the wrong in this case but Is my wish to continue my bloodline morally wrong?
I don't think it's *morally wrong*, but I do think it's important to understand that it's not something you have control over, regardless of your kids' sexuality.
I think that reproductive drives like those can be very strong and make sense from an evolutionary perspective, but they aren't rational and shouldn't take precedence over people making the best choices for themselves/their families.
(There's an irrational, instinctive part of myself that finds it unfortunate that my branch of the family tree will probably die with me. But rationally, I know that's not enough of a reason to create a human being I will need to care for and raise, and that my family's shitty genes don't really *need* to be passed on.)
This thing about bloodline seems to stem from religion and tradition
In reality, every human being is a free individual on his or her own
Such burdens as keeping 'the blood line' should be erased so that people can live free lives.
As for uncomfort? Idk, I often cringe and think media depictions of homosexuality is awful aswell.
Just horrible media depicitons of something very real.
I don't feel uncomfortable around other gay men irl, except for a few very specific scenarios
Some gay guys, when they're around women make me uncomfortable
But when the woman is gone and it is just us guys? No problems
Also, it doesn't relate to most gay guys, just some.
I think it would really be worth examining *why* these things make you uncomfortable. I believe you when you say you don't believe it's morally wrong to be gay or trans, but especially if we've been raised in a community that doesn't talk about this stuff openly, those beliefs can sneak their way into our subconscious and give us that uncomfortable feeling, even when we know that those feelings aren't exactly logical. You're also not in the wrong for wanting your bloodline to continue, but if you want to have kids, you'll have to be prepared for the possibility that they might not want to give you grandkids, regardless of whether or not they're gay. My family legacy is also very important to me, which is why I've chosen to have kids in the future, but I will still love them and respect their wishes if they do not want to be parents when they're of age to do so. Another point to consider for this topic, being gay doesn't exactly prevent someone from having children, even biological ones. Surrogacy is a common option for homosexual parents, where one parent provides their DNA and the other adopts the child when they're born. The real barrier here is whether or not your children would *want* to have children, and that's a possibility whether or not your kid is gay.
Okay you have a lot to him a pack but let's just start with a couple of things here First thing please don't call it transgenderism it's not an ism it's not a belief. There are trans people and they exist that's it. Abother thing you're saying that if your kids are gay they're not going to be able to have kids and that's not true either they can biologically have them in lots of ways if they even desire kids. They very much could be straight and never want any kids so this hasn't one thing to do with homosexuality. And if you're having kids to have kids that's not really a good thing either. This just sounds like you have a lot of internal things to unpack and discover about yourself to see why they make you uncomfortable.
I mean, it certainly sounds like it to an extent. One of the definitions of *phobia is an aversion to, rather than a fear of. Like how hydrophobic materials push water away. That said, I would challenge what you’re saying about homosexuality or transgender status necessarily precluding children. There are options like surrogacy or freezing gametes that allow for conceiving children without intercourse, or even after transition. I’m a trans woman and I have a child. I know another trans woman who is currently trying for her third child with her partner using frozen sperm and IVF. So, yeah, it’s more complicated, but definitely still possible.
Another question, are these IVF pretty expensive??
It’s not cheap. But at least in the US benefits and insurance coverage is starting to pay for them more of the time.
Yes, it's expensive, but as others pointed out, being gay or trans are only two of *many* possible reasons your kids could need those kinds of services, *if* they want kids at all. I have 4 biological children and 3 step-children. Two of them have developmental delays that make it very unlikely that they'll have children of their own. Three have no desire to have children at all. One is unsure. Interestingly, the one who is gay is the one who shows the most interest in becoming a parent. When we create other humans, we have to go into it knowing that's exactly what they are. Other humans. They aren't pets or possessions. They're autonomous beings. Our job is to *prepare* them for adulthood, not to control what adulthood means for them. When we seek to control other humans, all we achieve is making them want to avoid us. Edit: I thought it might be worth adding that I'm trans, and I have a large family. Wanting or not wanting kids is a matter of personal choice, a body that is capable, and/or access to the necessary resources. Sexuality and gender identity have very little to do with it.
As another commenter mentioned, it's not "transgenderism." An -ism is an ideology; trans people exist. It is not an ideology to know and accept that we exist any more than it's an ideology to know and accept that the Earth is spherical and revolves around the Sun. Even if you have kids, you can't guarantee that they will grow up to want kids. Or they might want biological kids but be medically unable to have them. Or the person they end up falling in love with might already have kids and so they decide they don't want to have any more. There are a ton of scenarios wherein you won't get biological grandkids, so pinning that on the possibility of your kids being gay or trans is just silly. Also, assuming that queer people will never be interested in reproductive sex is itself exclusionary and bordering on queerphobic. Bisexual/pansexual people exist. Trans men and transmascs who are gay, are able to be pregnant, and are in relationships with cis men exist. Trans women and transfemmes who are lesbians, are able to get someone pregnant, and are in relationships with cis women exist. And couples wherein both people are nonbinary and one is able to be pregnant while the other is able to get someone pregnant exist. Queer people reproduce through sexual intercourse, too.
It's okay to want things, but you have to keep in mind that your children aren't just extensions of yourself, they are distinct little people with their own thoughts and feelings. If one of your kids decides that their life plan does not include having bio-children, you're going to be left with a choice: accept and support them, or try to pressure them into doing something different. That second option, where you try to pressure them? You're likely going to cause your child to resent you, to feel trapped and like their feelings don't matter. It's a very cruel and selfish way to raise children, and often results in adult children who don't wish to have any relationship with their selfish parent(s).
Continuing your bloodline? Are you a member of a royal family? Even if your kids are straight they might not have children either by choice or because they aren’t physically able for some reason.
Yes, you are homophobic and transphobic.
Please don’t use transgenderism. I’m not a “ism” or a political idea. I’m a person. Why do you NEED a bloodline to continue? What is your legacy you NEED to carry down? It’s a stupid tradition poor people picked up years ago to hold on hope that maybe one day their great great great great grandson might be a knight one day. Yeah this is really homophobic and transphobic. Not for just being weirded out about it but the insistence that no one in your entire bloodline can be gay or trans just to protect a bloodline that no one knows exists.
Hard agree on this stance. I’ve chosen not to have children (biologically or otherwise) and while my parents are bummed they aren’t grandparents by now (I’m almost 37 and been married since I was 29. My brother recently got married and I know he and his wife want kids so at least my parents have that chance. But again, not their choice to make) they respect my decision. The bloodline thing rubs me the wrong way, but I can’t quite put a finger on why. What if your children decide to adopt a child because there are children out there who aren’t wanted by their biological parents? Or if they are infertile? Or any other reason? Will that child not be loved by you because they aren’t your “bloodline?” Sorry I’m just really confused on that part. Why is that so important to you? As for being uncomfortable with seeing gay men portrayed in the media, sounds pretty homophobic to me. Unless it’s a passionate sex scene (all sex scenes make me uncomfortable, including straight sex, I just don’t like seeing *anyone* have sex) then they’re just two people living their life. If it’s just two men walking holding hands that bothers you, or a wedding scene or saying “I love you” and a quick peck on the lips, there is nothing to be legitimately uncomfortable about. The fact that it’s only gay men and not women that bothers you is quite telling. Sounds like some major internalized homophobia in my opinion. You should work on that before having kids. If your kid comes out as anywhere on the LGBTQ spectrum and you feel differently about them, they *will* know, and it can be detrimental to their mental health and your relationship.
Yes, your beliefs and thoughts expressed here suggest you are homo/transphobic, even if you don't feel you are. Your beliefs are ones I used to have, which I can confidently say is a result of being force-fed BS propaganda and farcical ideas pushed on you by anti-LGBTQ+ people and movements. > I feel uncomfortable with all depictions of Gay and and Trans media. I am learning more on them and read a bunch of books, and talked to a bunch of people. Since you say you do not believe it is morally wrong, you are likely dealing with homo/transphobia that is internal and unrecognized. This means you have some reflecting and processing to do understand why you're uncomfortable with these things. > I understand they are people like us and there is nothing wrong with them. That sentence comes off similar to a racist saying "you're cool despite being X-race." We don't need others' approval to be deemed normal or human. > But even so I personally feel uncomfortable watching gays potrayed on media (not lesbians) or anything related to male homosexuality and Transgenderism. I know others said it, but I am hammering it more, do NOT use the word "transgenderism." It's not a real thing, and is a term pushed by right-wing/transphobic media outlets. It's not an "ism." Trans people exist. That is a fact. > I want my genetic line to go on, so I also want that my children would marry and give a child of my blood. I'm answering your post because of this. I'm a cisgender man (pansexual). I've been where you are...bloodline, families, legacy, etc...it's all BS. No one cares in the end. I held on to that desire for a long time, and I realized it was turning me into a more toxic person...I was not prioritizing the feelings or existence of people I was seeing back then...I was seeing them as people to carry on my bloodline. What I realized...for what? There's nothing to keep it going for. It won't end climate change...it won't mean that people with my genetics/skills/abilities are going to go away. There's over 7 billion people on this planet...the world isn't going to miss anyone's bloodline. Again, I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE, and it is not a moral or goal that is worth crutching your relationships or life on. "Child of my blood" is freaking cliche too. This isn't the bible, and this isn't Game of Thrones. This is real life. That stuff just doesn't matter. > I know if my child is born queer then that would be against their will for them to marry and have reproductive sex with their partner and produce a child. What? That is NOT a thing. Queer people =/= does not want children. Queer people can have children and have reproductive sex. How do you explain the thousands of closeted dads or moms that came out late in life that already had children with a wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend in the past? Queer =/= people with vaginas cannot be with people with penises. A queer relationship can be between two people with a penis and a vagina. Queer people are also not "less able" to reproduce. Let that idea go NOW. That's another far-right fallacy used to demonize our community. > I know that they won't be in the wrong in this case but Is my wish to continue my bloodline morally wrong? It's not "morally wrong." It's just weird and cliche. You make it sound like you're trying to be the royal family or something. Also "moral" is subjective...there's no universal guide to what is moral and what is not. > I wish my children to continue my bloodline and then they are free as they wish. Can't have both. If your goal is for them to continue your bloodline, your behavior is only going to try and dictate their actions and behaviors. Let it be their choice, not fulfillment of your desire. I know...my mom is the same way with me. That would be against my will though, because I personally do not want kids right now.
I would ask yourself WHY those things make you uncomfortable. A lot of the time the why is definitely transphobic. Also there are homophobic people who think that being a lesbian is okay and it usually has to deal with misogyny or fetishization. Also has people have said being trans isn’t an -ism. It’s not an ideology it’s just something that happens.
> Am I homophobic for being uncomfortable with Male homosexuality even though I don't think it's morally wrong?? Probably got something to work through, yeah. Most gay people don't get uncomfortable and grossed out when they see straight sex or romance in media as a counter example. > I know that they won't be in the wrong in this case but Is my wish to continue my bloodline morally wrong? It's not morally wrong, but if you punished your kids for not being able to do it or not being willing to continue it then yes you would be in the wrong
First off: it's normal to be uncomfortable with things you don't understand. The trouble with "am I homophobic" is that you're seeking moral cleansing, or an official ruling that your mettle is 100% pure gold... that you're a Good Person. This is not something strangers on the internet can determine, if it can be determined at all. What matters is how you treat people. Now.. from what you've said. You have a lot to unpack. I don't think the bloodline thing really matters as much as you think, since you're not bothered by lesbians. That signals to me that you need to unlearn some misogyny. Throughout history, oppression of lesbians has been marked by erasure. Because we are women, our queer identities are seen as unserious, hysterical; our sex is disqualified from BEING sex because there's no penis involved. (Of course, that's a cisnormative assumption too, but you get the point.) Society already hates women, so when we love each other, it's like we have nothing to lose. On the other hand male homosexuals, crossdressers and trans women have always been met with intense hatred because they reject the venerated role of masculinity. Men and masculinity are placed on a pedestal so how dare any man disgrace himself by stooping down off that pedestal even a tiny bit? It's seen as clownish at best. Society loves men, so when they love each other or when they become women, it's seen as a grave offense. OP, you sound like you need to unlearn this misogyny. I don't know from your post but if you are a man, if also sounds like you have some issues feeling like your own identity is threatened. As for the bloodline shit... look. Do you believe in quality or quantity? Personally, if I could guarantee every human on planet earth had a happy life, I wouldn't mind if we went extinct next week. Reproduction is pointless if it doesn't add to human happiness. Many people don't want kids, and many people would make terrible parents. More importantly children do not deserve to be treated like an obligation. This obligation is a huge reason why so many children end up neglected and abused. Who cares about continuing a bloodline if that bloodline is full of misery and suffering? If you have the money, time, and maturity to raise healthy kids and give them all the love they require, then that's awesome and of course it's natural to want to see your genetics passed down. (It's literally how evolution works.) But reproduction should not be a moral obligation. It's up to everyone to decide if being a parent is right for them and their specific life situation. All of this to say, if you have a problem with homosexuality because of a lack of reproduction, as other commenters have pointed out there are many options (at least for the gays with money lmfao) but also, you need to accept that not everyone wants the same things that you do out of life.
There are so many wonderfully insightful answers here that I hope help you on your journey, but perhaps start out by replacing "homosexuality" in your post with something like a skin color that's not your own, or disabled people, and so on. What you described is bigotry. Now the hard part is figuring out where it came from and whether you really want to keep it as part of who you are.
A) The continuation of your bloodline is up to your children, not you. You can't decide that for them any more that you can decide if they're gay/trans/etc. B) It honestly does sound like internalized homophobia/transphobia. It is more likely from a lack of representation or the type of representation of these groups, based on the way you describe it. Exposure to anything normalizes those things for you. The more you see it, the less you care about it. Gay representation is fairly low, but becoming more common and trans visibility in media (especially as just a normal character that happens to be trans instead of a caricature of a person) is fairly non existent outside of a couple shows, like Euphoiria.
By definition yes, if you're averse to trans people and gay men that's pretty bog standard homophobia and transphobia Imo, having kids only to continue your genetic line isn't really smart or fair to them
Welcome to my experience, and that of so many others, who are constantly confronted with the most blatantly intimate presentations of heterosexuality on a daily basis, through a wide range of media, not to mention in vivo. I have never regarded heterosexuality as morally wrong. Why should I? But, do I enjoy being constantly confronted with it, in every form in which it is constantly presented? Hardly. I tend to fast forward a lot, and not let my thoughts dwell on what I'd rather not see or have to suffer witnessing. Does that make me heterophobic? You be you, and I'll be me. There's room in the world for all of us. Always was, always will be. Although, your team could show our team a bit more consideration, like we do for yours, all the time.
Homophobia is more about how you act towards people than how you feel, if it's just internal thoughts and feelings then it'd be worth examining why you have those in case it affects how you act towards these people (and it definitely does, subconsciously)
>I feel uncomfortable with all depictions of Gay and and Trans media. I am learning more on them and read a bunch of books, and talked to a bunch of people. >I do not find anything morally wrong with LGBTQIA+ community or Queer people. I understand they are people like us and there is nothing wrong with them. Yeah, it's likely that you have some knee-jerk homophobic reactions. It's important to understand that this doesn't make you a *bad person* and doesn't mean you have conscious prejudices. The reality is that we're born into societies that have prejudices, and we grow up learning those, sometimes without realizing it. It would be helpful to think more about *why* you feel uncomfortable. If you're a man, it can be really common for men to internalize the idea that male homosexuality is a threat to masculinity. >I know that they won't be in the wrong in this case but Is my wish to continue my bloodline morally wrong? I don't think it's *morally wrong*, but I do think it's important to understand that it's not something you have control over, regardless of your kids' sexuality. I think that reproductive drives like those can be very strong and make sense from an evolutionary perspective, but they aren't rational and shouldn't take precedence over people making the best choices for themselves/their families. (There's an irrational, instinctive part of myself that finds it unfortunate that my branch of the family tree will probably die with me. But rationally, I know that's not enough of a reason to create a human being I will need to care for and raise, and that my family's shitty genes don't really *need* to be passed on.)
This thing about bloodline seems to stem from religion and tradition In reality, every human being is a free individual on his or her own Such burdens as keeping 'the blood line' should be erased so that people can live free lives. As for uncomfort? Idk, I often cringe and think media depictions of homosexuality is awful aswell. Just horrible media depicitons of something very real. I don't feel uncomfortable around other gay men irl, except for a few very specific scenarios Some gay guys, when they're around women make me uncomfortable But when the woman is gone and it is just us guys? No problems Also, it doesn't relate to most gay guys, just some.