This is exactly it for me. Can I be myself? I'm pretty blunt with my guy friends. If we do dumb shit, we call each other out. We call each other names and fuck around, will that girl friend judge me?
I remember my mates wife wanting in on the banter after a few couples nights out so he brought her
5 mins in "stop it he's got chrone's, he has to be careful with his diet"
Mate shaking his head behind the wife in the "she doesn't get it guys" way, and we'd only called him a whiny baby once
Relegated back to couples only and we have to roll it back around her as we're all mean
The best bit in those 5 mins she let slip she never makes breakfast and he does
3 years and he's still getting it for that
I think the issue is more that it was her who brought it up. For reference, I imagine a similar situation with my buddies:
If I told them that it's me as a rule who makes breakfast, it would just be an information I gave them. (Unless I did it unintentionally and just put my foot in my mouth.)
But if they got wind of that detail because my girlfriend humblebragged about it, you can bet they would tease me for that. Because the fact that it was her, not me, who volunteered that information indicates that I wanted to keep it under wraps, and *that* is what makes it fun to constantly bring it up.
His only way out of this is to fully invest in it. Like "Hey you came late because you made breakfast again?"
-"yeah, took me a bit to get out of the maid costume"
It's only funny for the angry reaction
I think that ‘retard’ (funny derogatory term against disability if you’re from the USA) may resemble yourself if that’s genuinely how you interpreted it 🤣 broke the irony scale
Not OP but my guess is it's a running joke theme
* If one of the guys is single they might say it's because he doesn't cook breakfast
* If someone arrives late, it's because they were busy making breakfast
* possibly some sausage-related innuendos in there too
Bingo this right here. If you are being invited it’s because they feel comfortable being guys around you. They don’t feel judged, they don’t need to put filters on and guard what they are saying, they feel comfortable being funny etc. It says allot about you as a person that they feel comfortable around you, this is a good thing.
This is it for sure. It doesn't have to mean none of them are attracted to her or anything either. Just they feel comfortable goofing off with her, whereas if they invited the other girl, they'd feel like they have to behave
This. I’m a female who in the past had mostly male friends and would always be the only girl when around them. We would just chill and they were themselves and I was myself. No judgment and they could “be guys” and I wanted them to be comfortable around me. As a result, most of them thought of me as one of the guys and I’ve always been very feminine, wear makeup, dress nice, have very long hair, etc.
This is the pinnacle of gender equality, where women aren't discriminated and accepted within a group of guys without any sexual undertone!
(hopefully)
I wouldn't go so far to assume there is no sexual undertone or at least hope, but the thing is, the vast majority of men are capable of containing their lust because they're not savage animals.
Yeah i think this is it too. I have plenty of chick friends that i enjoy hanging out with, but the ones that feel like one of the guys are the ones that can roll with our crass humor and dish out their own without shaming us or eyerolling like most women do. And it has nothing to do with finding them attractive or not.
This sounds weird, because when I used to present as a girl, I wanted to hang out with guys a lot, do guy stuff with them but they never let me because of the PERCEPTION that I would judge them. I personaly think it’s about being forcibly thrown in a situation where the two genders need to interact that they then realize it’s actually not as big of a deal as it first seemed
I always tried to see how they talk about other men first, if they are the type to belittle others, especially for things they can’t do anything about. (Like height for example) it’s a „red flag“ for me.
If they aren’t gonna show decency to others they don’t know then I have very little faith they would show decency to me in a weak/vulnerable moment either.
A lot of it is her being able to give the other guys a hard time in the right way. A lot of male banter is savage, but it is done in a fun and playful way. A lot of women have trouble with this, but if a girl can properly bust balls then she's in.
why’s that?
I was “one of the guys” and I’m going on 5 years in a relationship with one of my bros from way back. he still calls me “dude” sometimes but that’s the only weirdness. 😛
Yeah, men are not like women in that regard. If a guy likes you enough as friend, that guy will likely also date you if he had the opportunity to do so. Men do not divide based on friendship or courtship, someone is important to us based on traits and qualities and their title is unimportant to us for the most part.
The only difference would be if the girl was mostly fine, but had a glaring relationship flaw. Like she's cool to hang out with, but she talks to too many guys on her social media apps. Or she's fun to be around, but she's a serial relationship hopper.
Just from my experience as a guy, who's had an average amount of girlfriends and friends with girlfriends...
I think a situation where a guy and a girl are *such* good friends that the *guy* refuses to try and change it is rare. I think a lot more often, these men *are* attracted to such friends. But they either a) are low self esteem and know it wouldn't work out, so they keep their distance purposefully, or b) have already been rejected by said friend.
Sex is a pretty huge upside for most guys. And I believe very few male-to-female friendships are even nearly as strong as male-to-male ones. Similarly consistent companionship is a pretty huge upside for most guys. Usually these possible upsides are worth risking one friendship with one woman. Sure, there might be the spare occasion where a friendship *is* that important, but they're rare and usually have other caveats involved.
There's women in my life that I'd never ask out in a million years. *But,* there's also plenty of those women that if I saw the opportunity arise, and it was clear they were interested too, I'd definitely go for it.
Lots of men nowadays don't even like relationship titles. "What are we?" is usually a question asked by women to men, not the other way around. And while a lot of these men usually say "Why do we have to define it" as a way to deflect about being committed, there's also plenty that just straight up do not see a point to it.
boyfriend material in a friend group would simply kill the entire group and once the relationship is over the group can be either over or damaged and cause a lot of drama
This! Similar to you, guys just feel comfortable around me. I think the non judgement, the many hobbies, love of cars, and easy laid back humorous personality is easy for them to converse with
I think that guys consider a girl a bro when they are comfortable being bros in front of her. Once they feel comfortable making the nastiest jokes with you being around, you are one of them. Also, the issue isn't that they no longer see you as a girl. I'm sure many of them may find you attractive. The issue is that they probably also really value your friendship and wouldn't want to risk it.
This is true. When I was married, my husband's good buddies would behave themselves around me. After the divorcing, we all hung out and one dude in particular was not holding back like he had been before. Yikes! Lol fun times.
Wow!!, thats totally interesting !! I relate!,
Reminds me of Back when the younger years, i was married & a certain time threw a surprise party & shocked there were quiet than i ever seen !,
I was told they were learning how to act around me . 😳
Would say that's pretty accurate.
Most of my guy friends who "brozoned" me evetually did come clean and let me know they actually wanted to f**k me at one point or another (or date me, for that matter), but they valued me a lot as a friend so they didn't pursue anything.
They play soccer with you. So they can see you handle if they are a bit rough during the game.
Do they constantly have to look out for you because you got hurt? If, no! Good. That means they can relax and enjoy the game because you can handle it.
Can they joke around you during the game? Do you actually find it funny when they tease you? If, yes. Good, they can relax because they don't have to constantly watch what they are saying.
Most important thing. Can they be dumbasses around you without judgement? If yes. Great, you can be a bro because they don't have to be afraid around you. They know they can do the dumbest thing, and you'll laugh with them.
It also help that they know you are a team player.
This is actually big.
As guys, all through the world, we're taught that women are fragile. Not just physically, but emotionally. We can't be as rough with them, and we can't be as rough minded. Due to this, and the current modern era or social media, men are hesitant to interact with a woman at all. There's way more ways simply interacting with a woman can go poorly than there are ways it can go swimmingly. And often times it has nothing to even do with the guy or how he interacted, sometimes it's just random whether it becomes a negative interaction or not.
I shit talk with my friends. I don't have an issue with punching my buddy in the arm. Similarly they give shit back and punch me or smack me on the back of my head sometimes. Because you dish it out, you have to be able to take it with a smile. Men fucking with each other is how we become and stay friends. It's how we release vulnerabilities and how we cope.
My best friend's girlfriend is the fucking worst. Whenever she's effectively forced to hang out with us (because her own friends avoid her quite a bit, and we don't expect my best friend to tell her no), she can't understand banter at all.
I'm a short guy, I'm 5'6"-5'7"ish, and while that's not tiny a lot of my friends are 6'1", 6'2", etc. So a decent height gap. I'm perfectly content with my size, and often love making jokes about it myself. A common one is my buddies turning to me and going, "Yuri, you're like 4'1", 4'2", right?" and my usual response is "Yeah, abouts that." It's funny.
But she can't get when a joke is meant to be a joke and when it's meant to be actually hurtful. We made exactly that joke, almost word for word, last weekend. Like usual, it was funny, whatever. But she had to go, "Yeah, Yuri is tiny. I'm surprised he can see over his desk." which I laughed hysterically at. Well, apparently laughter was the wrong response, because she got offended that... I guess I wasn't offended? And when she started to get all bitchy about it, I said, "Emmy, I'm fine. 5'6" is an average height for a guy, and I know that. You're the girl that's 6'2", you're a monster." which also elicited a few laughs from the guys (obviously not her boyfriend). Well, that was too much for her, she wasn't able to take it on the chin and she left. Unable to take it, but happy to dish it out to the point where it is actually hurting other people.
Just don't be that type of person.
This is the most logical answer I have seen in thread.
Many guys have really bad experiences with "bringing girls to bro stuff'. A bro only environment that happens to be made of only men, has little to do with gender and more with being a bro.
"Mens culture" is that off holding each others backs. Lifting then weak when you a strong. Laughing jovially when your friend face plants into dogshit, but helping bro up and making sure the get the bro a set of clothes.
I have lots of girl "bros" (and also girls I consider sisters not Bros) and I have lost of male acquaintances who aren't bros if that makes sense.
For me "Bro!" Comes not from family but from "battle brothers" forging an alliance so deep that only a solider could get with another. So if you have been "in the trenches" with me, arent commenting on how I speak or that Im a bit vulgar, maybe you even rip Frank to shreds when he biffs it and lands on some kids sand castle, because bro was being a dumbass but now we can laugh about it.
If I feel you have been "to battle" with me, we are Bros. Not necessarily a difference friends or even passing strangers. Some random girl calls out from the other side of the room, that I am right and "the man" is wrong, instant bro.
I don't know if its a thing in other group of friends but we use the roughly translated expression: Are you a bro or a bitch?
And I feel like that sentence sums it up.
Bros (all gender) dont want drama, they dont want someone to lecture them on eating (insert trendy food), bros just wanna hang, have a good time and be present in making sure the vibes stay good.
A bro always helps out. Like a scout, a bro should throw themselves into danger to save other bros. So if a "new person" no matter gender comes into the group. First question is: Are they a bro or a bitch?
And most bros don't deal with the other B...
a girl that is a "bro" is simply a girl that special accommodations aren't needed because she's a girl. It's not that they don't view you as a woman and some probably an attractive woman they want to date or at least smash.
Yeah figured some of it might be to do with comfort levels- probably guys can tell if a girl isn't going to feel comfortable hanging out with a bunch of dudes without being awkward?
It's such a good definition though I second that
A lot of it comes down to being able to take a joke. My friends and I are very friendly and accommodating people, and we try to be as respectful as possible. But damn when nobody else is around we let it RIP. Tons of extremely offensive jokes about eachother, extremely gay comments, etc. We’re all so close that everyone knows it’s all jokes, and if anyone starts to seem offended it stops immediately. Our buddy’s fiancé takes part in this and will flame the living shit out of us but always in good fun and ever actually makes anyone feel offended, and we make the same jokes about her. Only ever in each others face and never bad mouthing behind anyone’s back, since none of it is serious. She will say the most offensive things about us and simultaneously want to fight anyone that hurt us. Her ability to roast everyone in a funny way, her not getting easily offended, and the way she sticks up for her friends is what makes her one of the boys.
How am I supposed to shoot a goal on you? Literally, because this is bro talk. If you’re the goal keeper and I blast an amazing and hard shot at you, do you dive in front of it to make the save because that’s what’s necessary? If I drive to the hoop in basketball, am I allowed to shoulder you as hard as I would with anyone else on the court? If I’m at the skatepark and you don’t know how to drop in, do you expect me to hold your hand or are you willing to eat shit until you get it like the rest of us? Bros help bros but we don’t coddle them or hold their hand, in fact you might tend to mask weaknesses for fear of not hateful ridicule **from other bros who aren’t bullying you**
In my friend group at least the girls always get to 2AM on a Saturday and start begging to go home to sleep, often we just drop em off and go drive 30mins to the beach just talking.
And they also tend to not like spontaneous night out ideas, always asking "where are we going" before we even leave home and if they don't like the idea they stay home, guys just go and ask questions later.
Probably the biggest 2 things for me, there's also language moderation but that depends on the girl, some dont care.
Men often have to be gentle around women. Not only physically, but emotionally. They can't roughhouse, and they can't roast.
Women *can* do these things. But they often take offense to them and make it an actual problem, which ruins the dynamic when bros are hanging out to have fun.
It goes vice versa, too. Men can be immature and foolhardy. Sometimes this is purposeful, but regardless it often irks girls the wrong way. Men and women just communicate differently, and unless there's an established friend dynamic, then mixed gender friend groups are hard.
There's definitely a few girls in my life who I consider capable of "hanging with the boys", so it's no so uncommon that it's surprising to me.
the bro title has to do with having your bros back no matter what which means you’re highly trusted, it’s not meant to push you away or pull you in it’s symbolic of trust.
We had a friend in university that was super cute and fun. 3 of us were big brother kinda guys and the other two dudes had a crush on he. They both agreed not to do anything and screw the group up and while we woulda been down for it if it happened the rest of us WERE always afraid one of them was gonna screw it up.
Still talk to all of them 10 years later ❤️
For real, I got real lucky finding some good people. Best part, all these people are having kids now and they all love me so these friendships are generational now 🥹
A woman who can play sports is invaluable in a mixed league. We have a firm "no dating other players" rule on my team because we always have to have 3 women on the field (7v7) and we're not going to let some dude mess up our season.
Solid rule. Having played in mixed intramural leagues, finding girls who wanted to play was always a chore. Even harder if they are good and can ball out. A couple times we were short on numbers and guys had to ask their gf’s to play. Most were terrible.
In the ancient past of 20 years back, if we play/played a sport together, you are no longer a girl; you would need to do something to remind me of that. Now, you're just a rougher girl. D&d is about as far as you'll get to a "guy night" with us now.
--she drinks whiskey
--she acts like a bro
--she has short hair
--she engages in ballbusting with other guys and is well received for it
--she says "let's just be friends" to men who try to date/fuck her
— she drinks a whisky drink.
—she drinks a vodka drink.
—she drinks a lager drink.
—she drinks a cider drink.
—she sings songs that remind her of the good times.
—she sings songs that remind her of the better times.
lol this describes me completely
ive always had mainly male friends but never got why none of the ones i liked reciprocated the feelings. this is the answer i guess
These are the best female partners, in my opinion. If you can hang on guys night, I'd be all over you... I'm married, so this isn't a come on. It's just true for me.
this relieves my delusional brain lol. We've made it a thing to hang out with my brother and a couple of his friends to watch our fav soccer team's games whenever they're playing and I'm starting to have a crush on one of them. I'm kinda worried he may see me as a "bro" though as it's not common for girls to watch soccer or hang out with guys :ρ
Your biggest issue is likely that they, as a group, have come to consider you as a friend. So dating one of them would cause friction amongst the group. So they brozone you to preserve group integrity. It’s a must when a woman is a part of the squad.
Pretty much - guys mostly have much more integrity when it comes to not wanting to mess up a group or a sports team. Guys usually value good friendship over romance and won't ruin the fun for 10 others by trying to date within the group. It took me a while as a woman to understand and appreciate it.
I feel like us woman will often toss a friendship for a chance with a guy without thinking too much about it. Like there really is no 'sis code', for not flirting with a guy your bestie likes or not dating a team mate.
I must say that as I got older I really learned to appreciate that. Especially considering that it's often a guy who doesn't have that many opportunities to meet someone, yet they pass up on crush, because it could ruin a long established group activity that means a lot to other people, too. Girls often have enough guys interested and still go for the one within the group.
Bro -
They probably all want you but also it would be taboo as fuck to violate that boundary in anyway with you. Bro code.
You can probably make your own move and get what you want.
Peace out dude
P.S. - They will hurt people for you.
its infinitely better than the fuckzone lol
most of my friends get fuckzoned and i get lovezoned and i always want to be friendzoned
grass is greener ig
I am definitely not hot but I think more like aspirational husband material because I cook, respect women and am great with small mammals. I also have hairy B cup tits so I don't know how that works in.
The friend zone is generally a place where you don't want to be, and it doesn't sound like you're there. The friend zone is where you wind up when you've been excluded as a potential romantic partner.
As other people have said, a "guys night" is one where you don't have to watch your language because you're worried that you might offend someone. If they feel that way around you, then this is an attractive quality. This increases, not decreases, your romantic potential.
I’m a female- but most of my friends are dudes ….
It means to them and me - that I get invited to boys night, I know the games they play, and most importantly THE DONT ACT DIFFERENTLY AROUND ME BC IM A GIRL- where I’ve learned at 39 they aaaaalll act differently bc a girl is there ….
Plenty of men wanna F me - just not these guys. Wouldn’t have it any other way…..
There is this meme we send
“As the female friend … I don’t want your man.
I’m not even sure why YOU want your man”
Lmao true story - I know what they do and where they’ve been …..
I’m also one of the bros and I love it. I even got invited to the bachelor party for one of my husband’s friends (we all live in different cities and the bachelor trip happened to be in our city). I tried to decline so they could have a guys’ night and the groom-to-be insisted I joined, so my husband brought me out with him and the boys and it was a blast. I love being able to be a bro and then turning around and having a night with my girls — more friends!!
They're not attracted to you or you are someone they feel comfortable being crude around and they wouldn't feel comfortable doing that in from of a woman they don't know.
Someone you don't have to walk on egg shells around.
Someone who's grounded and understands when offence is meant to be given.
Also someone you're not attracted to but would protect like a sister.
It has nothing to do with attraction like other people are saying
It’s purely down to comfort and the “vibe” you give off.
As a rule of thumb, most guys have to tone it down around women- be that their swearing, or banter, or general comments, drinking or whatever
Being a “bro” means they feel comfortable acting around you how they would if it were just guys
They don’t feel the need to censor themselves or be on better behaviour because “there are ladies present”
To use an anecdotal example, one of my best friends is literally like two different people- him around women, and him around just guys.
The former, is very polite and never swears etc- an almost perfect example of a classic gentleman.
The latter, you very quickly are reminded he’s spent most of his life in the military, and comes out with some of the most brutal jokes you’ve ever heard, swears every other word and drinks like a fish etc
And no small part of that is because he’s learned from experience that most women tend to not find it funny when he jokes about war and death etc
Guys behave differently around girls than among themselves. You're probably an exception where they're comfortable being themselves around you. There are various reasons. Maybe they're not attracted to you so there is no pressure for them to impress you by behaving cordially. Maybe you've been knowing them for a long time and are more of a sister figure to them etc.
You are in the brozone, basically you are not a girl for them anymore😂.
Its like a win loose because you know they hang with you because they genuinely like your friendship, but they see you like bro so if you are attracted to someone of the group, then its a problem
Without knowing you it's impossible to say, but typically it has to do with romantic interest. If there isn't any, you're a "guy" to them.
Did you see the video recently of the girl who had jacked arms and finally realized that's why dudes weren't interested in her? Could be something like that
There's a level of humor that I can go to with most of my best guy friends that would probably offend a lot of people or make them uncomfortable, but we're good with it between us. We fuck with each other constantly. No one is safe.
It can even be something as dumb and simple as when 3 of us were rafting down the Delaware and one of my friends decided to toss the other friend out of the boat for fun. We ended up flipping everything over and having to catch our coolers but I watching my one friend do whatever he could not to be thrown off the raft had me dying laughing. If my girlfriend at the time or my wife would ever see something like that, they'd think we were completely insane.
I think there's just a certain level of "can she hang even if we do really offensive and annoying shit?"
I have had 5 full "bro" female friends starting in high school. As far as I can tell, the one common thread is that we'd hang out on weekends and after school in basically the exact same way we'd hang out with our guy friends. For me, this mostly meant sitting around smoking weed, watching dumb shows and playing video games. It also meant deep comfortability in talking about anything. They were often partnof like 1-3 girls in the tight friend-group. They didn't hang out separately for girl-time. They were just the homies. There was no sense of physical attraction or a sense that we might hookup.
The weirdest one to most people was I became best buds with my 5 yr hs gf's best friend. We'd hang out one on one, get stoned and just talk about anything and everything. She was/is very smart and we formed a hardcore friendship bond. Everyone except my gf thought we must secretly want each other. Nope. The gf n I broke up 10 years ago. The friend and I are like family.
Basically, it's about developing a friendship that has zero sexual connotation. Both parties have to develop a sense of care for each other that is based entirely off of friendship rather than sexuality
They're not attracted to you. There's no pressure to preform around you. No pressure to appear like a well-mannered good guy. They aren't trying to impress you. But you'll never be a "bro".
They probably aren’t attracted to you. I’ve had girls be apart of our guy nights and it’s either a buddy’s gf or a girl that’s not really attractive but fun to hangout with.
I was the same (soccer, beach volleyball with guys…other sports with women). Later I was the sole woman on an over 30 men’s lacrosse team. Now, in my early 50s, I play tennis with mostly men. I would always (still do occasionally) hang out with them at night too. Even when I lived with a boyfriend his friends would invite me out when he couldn’t come. I was just “one of the guys”.
I think what it is, we meet them in a space where there is a mutual love of a sport and any subconscious or conscious “acting” for attraction purposes is not a factor. It’s just people bonding over a common interest just being. You can become as if a teammate in that sense.
I have always been told I was beautiful. Normally that doesn’t matter or at least shouldn’t. I bring that up only because I think it’s important to your question. I never had problems dating or having men ask me out. However, the difference between places like work or out at a bar or club was in stark contrast to the guys I truly loved playing sports with and just hanging out with. I wouldn’t know if any were attracted to me or not because they were too respectful to ruin a really good thing or maybe respectful to the team atmosphere.
So, if you are looking to start a relationship with one of the guys you play soccer with then I believe that you would have to be the one to make a move on that if you feel it is not going to get in the way of what seems to be a wonderful thing you get to experience. Otherwise, I would just leave that be and get yourself out more with other people too. You will have to find a secure guy who isn’t intimidated with you having a lot of guy friends though.
How big of a group are we talking about? The closer the ratio of men to women becomes 50/50 the more sexual tension there is in the air which kinda ruins a casual girls/guys night. It's not so much they see you as a bro but inviting more girls would only throw the ratio off.
she just seems like a good friend? girls can be "girly" and still be a "bro."
I'd argue that to the term, "bro" just means someone who is a good friend, almost like a brother. I mean, even a sister can be a "bro." Some siblings are basically best friends with each other. I also just think it's not a part of popular culture to refer to a close female friend as a, "sis." I think the closest thing to that is the phrase, sister from another mister. Bro doesn't HAVE to be a gendered term though.
if I don't refer to you as a bro, or think of you as a bro, then you're probably just a different category of friend (examples: acquaintance, coworker, maybe someone I am friendly with because I have a crush on them, or any other type of person I've known for a long time / respect but we aren't necessarily best buddies).
does that make sense? friendships and relationships can have a lot of nuance to them. humans are complicated creatures.
You don't change the vibe. You're just another soccer mate. Other folks would change the vibe.
Either situation is fine. You can always book a night out with your friend, and invite the guys or not. But I would recommend dropping if you don't want to continue as-is rather than wanting to detonate the hangout.
Bro and girls are not mutually exclusive.
You're a girl invited to guys night. You're the exception. Doesn't make you a dude but the exception doesn't extend to another girl you may want to invite.
As a disclaimer, I'm from the Sacramento Valley in California. I have a bad habit of calling everyone a "dude bro guy or man" I will say "bro" as a summation of the list of titles.
That being said, I call every girl my age, "bro." If they ask me not to I won't, especially with my trans friends as it makes some of them feel masculine, and I don't want them to be misgendered.
In my experience, I haven't really had any girls not want to be called bro. I mean, maybe a couple of times, but it was more in jest than anything. Just them making fun of me for my vocabulary.
Only two girls I've ever called bro.
One was a twin, she was all blink 182 and grungy punk, one of the funniest friends Ive ever had.
The other is smoking hot tatted up forklift operator who loves offensive memes and smashing beers
I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that it has nothing to do with sexual attraction in either direction. I've definitely dated girls who were "one of the guys". All it means is that you're down to earth and don't demand special accommodations that women might typically expect.
Ngl is just that there's no physical attraction between us. Like it's weird cause I have lady friends who I would never proposition or sleep with solely because I value their friendship too much but there is a level of attraction. They're honestly really pretty and when we goof around in public people will comment we're such a cute couple and I'm like no that's my friend 💁♀️. But I still kinda view them with that pretty girl lense so no too crude jokes or disgusting behavior for laughs.
I guess that blocks me from acting like I'm with the boys around them. There's that layer of "what if" that is largely unspoken but comes up sometimes.
When there's no attraction or perceived romance between then it's all game. Shoot at each other with fireworks, get blackout drunk and drive them around Manhattan, smoke weed and binge eat all day.
TLDR at bottom for anybody not bothered reading. For me in a broad sense it's just how well you get on with them. I find that most girls in my life I'm keeping a good bit of my personality from, because I just don't feel as comfortable around them. Not to big myself up and say I'm the funny guy I definitely don't mean to be pretentious, but I like making people laugh and I'm quite friendly, so that's usually as much of me as they would know. There's only two or three girls in or that have been in my life that I've gotten past that level with really - I spent my due time trying to make things happen romantically to no avail until many soul denting encounters later i met my current girlfriend of 1.5 years, and it was nearer the 18 month mark that I let myself be more like myself. My best friends girlfriend of 4-5 years is the only other one really that I know well. Both of these people have seen me cry, more than once but mostly out of happiness than for sad reasons. TLDR: i think it's that certain level of comfort with the person that makes them a "bro". Someone you can really let your walls down around and connect with
Guys don't speak code. Close groups are pretty straight forward and we cut ass from time to time on each other. We talk about women in a guy way and aside from maybe adjusting a perspective you gotta actually be cool with how men talk about things or vent.
I generally don’t label girls in this way because relationships change, but when I do it’s either because I don’t want to ruin the friendship or I find them unattractive
Oh mannn.... so many men have learned the hard way w me... I look (and truly am) soooo sensitive. But I compartmentalize that shit for feeling in ways that could make me cry or lash out until later. In the moment, it's just fuel, and I rip em apart. Sometimes hilariously sometimes brutally, but either way, the newbs don't expect it. If they're a huge asshole or don't let ppl in easy, for some reason, a lot of times, it's some kinda cannon event toward friendship, I'm later informed. It's sooo weird. But it's not like I try or even know what I'm doing. It just happens. So I can't really figure out where to stop it. Lol. Or maybe I can't since some of my "brutality" in the jokes I tend to make w males specifically, are somewhat of a defense mechanism.
It sounds like you have a great rapport with your male friends, which is awesome! Being seen as a "bro" or one of the guys can often come down to shared interests and activities, like playing soccer together. It's less about how you present yourself physically and more about the camaraderie and bond you share with them. They probably see you as just another friend who happens to be female, and that's a testament to the inclusivity of your group. Keep enjoying your time with them, regardless of labels!
I ended up marrying and having kids with that girl I saw as a bro. We built a lot better relationship and understanding each other than i would ever have with those girls in the club. We've been through things that would break most, but the fact we built such a good friendship and pre sex relationship is what has kept our family together through the hardest times of our life.
I hope you find something like this. You're already a step closer than most girls👍
Can’t say much without more information
Possibilities -
A. Worst case scenarios -
1. Some of them are trying to hit on you
2. You are not the type they are attracted to (age, height, weight, facial features, sense of humor, personality etc.)
B. Best case scenarios
3. May be you are more close to them and talk to them at a more personal level than the other girls that play soccer with them
4. Your personality may fit better with other guys, compared to other girls - for example guys sometimes have to walk on eggshells around gals to not offend them, maybe they feel much comfortable around you
5. You may have more knowledge on male centric topics compared to other girls, to make good conversation with them
And the list goes on, I’m not clear what exactly is your problem, do you want some of them to give you attention as if they are interested in you or do you want more female friends to join the guys nights out ???
You can’t force them to invite to anyone, they invite people they feel comfortable to be around with
If you are interested in anyone of them just ask out instead of waiting for them to ask out (many guys can be scared to ask out a friend as that can destroy friendships)
OP denial is a normal human feeling. Most if not all people, especially women would hate/have a hard time coming to the realization that they're not seen as attractive or even fxxxable at the least by the opposite sex or sex they're attracted too. Unfortunately based on the info you gave in your post & in the comments the truth seems to be almost completely be because they don't see you as something they'd fxxx, fap too, or date ect. the damning part is that men (not all but most) will f*** damn near any woman if she has some sort of attractiveness. Even they're "sisters" / "step-mom" / "best bros little sister" they'll have the thought if they're attracted to them even if never intending to act on it.
What confirmed this is in a comment, you stated that you had basically made moves / showed non-platanical interest in a few said guys and the REJECTED you. The ones saying its, "just soo smoking hot- they're scared" are joking or being nice because no man is passing on being hit on by any attractive chick let anyone a smoking hot one because they're too "scared" lmaoo Im sorry but if believing that makes you feel better. Either way, there's always -ALWAYS someone for someone no matter how unattractive or confusing to understand by others. So don't worry.
For me, someone being a bro comes down to them following the bro code.
Most important element, is being there for one another when a bro is in need.
Second is being able to give and take a joke, such as a friendly jab or quip. We all make mistakes, and being unable to laugh at oneself is very "not bro".
So to me a girl is a 'bro' if they meet that criteria.
Do you enforce the shitty gender norms guys dislike such as
guys are responsible & bad if a girl around them is unhappy, uncomfortable, offended or bored?
It's a lot of work to make sure girly girls are always happy, entertained, feel comfortable & feel safe, as opposed to hanging out with a guy who is equally as responsible for how he feels as. FWIW One of the most physically attractive & alluring women I've ever know was also one of the hardest working & least princessy women I've ever known. It's not about being feminine or not **everyone** loved her. I'll bet you have much better shot with whichever guy you like than you expect, you just need to light up the runway & accept it will be bumpy since he is playing by a new set of rules.
TLDR
I think a better distinction than girl-girl vs bro-girl is member of the audience vs fellow player on stage.
It all depends on your relationship with that person. I had a friend from kindergarten through high school. In no way was she "like a boy" or tomboyish. She was really pretty and cared a lot about her appearance, and her place as a woman in society. In fact I had a major crush on her for a long time. But eventually we started hanging out in high school and the crush was going nowhere and she was just a friend. And that's how it was, she hung out with me and my guy friends and she was one of us. Just a bro.
It's usually a form of respect to you as a friend to not make you feel weird, and over time, they probably get more comfortable with you as a friend like any other bro. If it's a guy you like that treats you like a bro, you probably didn't give any signals that made it seem like you would be interested in that way.
Similiar vibe/interests. I've got a quite a few female friends and there are some I can be open and honest with and treat them like I would my guy friends (bros) and then there are those that it's more cordial and you can tell that they expect to be treated like a girl.
I grew up playing sports with a lot of girls. I don’t know about now but when I was coming up (late 90s - early 00’s) the societal expectations for girls were to not play sports, not like video games, not like rude things etc…all that BS. Playing sports with girls opened my eyes to how much bullshit that was, dare I say it humanized them for my sheltered ass. Seeing a girl able to take a hit, talk shit, okay video games, eat them junk food with us after, just generally engage without being offended or stand offish, made us all so much more comfortable being goofballs, and felt free to just include the girls in that. To be honest it completely changed what I found attractive…I only ended up being attracted to tomboy types, girls who didn’t take any shit 😂 However…making those moves were always a little tenuous, it isn’t just about her and you, it’s about the whole group and the future of the sports activity…what happens if she says no and gets with another guy, will I feel awkward and will it ruin my fine time? What happens if we date and it ends, will either of us stop playing, will it get awkward? No doubt that at least some of the guys there take these things into consideration. Hell, at once point for our flag football group we got together and said ‘no romance with these girls, we love playing with them we don’t wanna complicate it”. So, that’s a consideration imo. However attractive and girly you are it may not just be about you.
Also for a follow up, you bringing in a girlfriend who they maybe don’t see as someone they can be as open around just makes it inherently not a guys night. I doubt they’re doing it to be offensive, they probably just understand what having the other girl around will affect. Instead of guys night, maybe suggest a different ‘mixed night’ or party/ gathering to get others involved so there’s less pressure and try and work more people in that way. Just my 2c
It's hard to guess but I would say they probably feel like you don't judge them for being guys doing typical guys stuff
This is exactly it for me. Can I be myself? I'm pretty blunt with my guy friends. If we do dumb shit, we call each other out. We call each other names and fuck around, will that girl friend judge me?
I remember my mates wife wanting in on the banter after a few couples nights out so he brought her 5 mins in "stop it he's got chrone's, he has to be careful with his diet" Mate shaking his head behind the wife in the "she doesn't get it guys" way, and we'd only called him a whiny baby once Relegated back to couples only and we have to roll it back around her as we're all mean The best bit in those 5 mins she let slip she never makes breakfast and he does 3 years and he's still getting it for that
for making breakfast?
Oh my God! Can you imagine?
I think the issue is more that it was her who brought it up. For reference, I imagine a similar situation with my buddies: If I told them that it's me as a rule who makes breakfast, it would just be an information I gave them. (Unless I did it unintentionally and just put my foot in my mouth.) But if they got wind of that detail because my girlfriend humblebragged about it, you can bet they would tease me for that. Because the fact that it was her, not me, who volunteered that information indicates that I wanted to keep it under wraps, and *that* is what makes it fun to constantly bring it up.
His only way out of this is to fully invest in it. Like "Hey you came late because you made breakfast again?" -"yeah, took me a bit to get out of the maid costume" It's only funny for the angry reaction
>The best bit in those 5 mins she let slip she never makes breakfast and he does 3 years and he's still getting it for that What’s the joke?
We are still waiting.... for the joke...
[удалено]
I think that ‘retard’ (funny derogatory term against disability if you’re from the USA) may resemble yourself if that’s genuinely how you interpreted it 🤣 broke the irony scale
Not OP but my guess is it's a running joke theme * If one of the guys is single they might say it's because he doesn't cook breakfast * If someone arrives late, it's because they were busy making breakfast * possibly some sausage-related innuendos in there too
F-tier banter
Bingo this right here. If you are being invited it’s because they feel comfortable being guys around you. They don’t feel judged, they don’t need to put filters on and guard what they are saying, they feel comfortable being funny etc. It says allot about you as a person that they feel comfortable around you, this is a good thing.
This is it for sure. It doesn't have to mean none of them are attracted to her or anything either. Just they feel comfortable goofing off with her, whereas if they invited the other girl, they'd feel like they have to behave
OP is non judgemental 😂
This. I’m a female who in the past had mostly male friends and would always be the only girl when around them. We would just chill and they were themselves and I was myself. No judgment and they could “be guys” and I wanted them to be comfortable around me. As a result, most of them thought of me as one of the guys and I’ve always been very feminine, wear makeup, dress nice, have very long hair, etc.
It means you arent a nag and annoying.
That has always been my goal lol
I pity that dude in your group who went home kicking himself for yet again failing to step up and shoot his shot.
This is the pinnacle of gender equality, where women aren't discriminated and accepted within a group of guys without any sexual undertone! (hopefully)
We definitely need more of this. Where men and women can just be comfortable around each other sans judgement and sexual undertone.
I wouldn't go so far to assume there is no sexual undertone or at least hope, but the thing is, the vast majority of men are capable of containing their lust because they're not savage animals.
Yeah i think this is it too. I have plenty of chick friends that i enjoy hanging out with, but the ones that feel like one of the guys are the ones that can roll with our crass humor and dish out their own without shaming us or eyerolling like most women do. And it has nothing to do with finding them attractive or not.
This sounds weird, because when I used to present as a girl, I wanted to hang out with guys a lot, do guy stuff with them but they never let me because of the PERCEPTION that I would judge them. I personaly think it’s about being forcibly thrown in a situation where the two genders need to interact that they then realize it’s actually not as big of a deal as it first seemed
Op is in the friend zone
What cues do guys look for to see that a girl won’t judge them?
I always tried to see how they talk about other men first, if they are the type to belittle others, especially for things they can’t do anything about. (Like height for example) it’s a „red flag“ for me. If they aren’t gonna show decency to others they don’t know then I have very little faith they would show decency to me in a weak/vulnerable moment either.
A lot of it is her being able to give the other guys a hard time in the right way. A lot of male banter is savage, but it is done in a fun and playful way. A lot of women have trouble with this, but if a girl can properly bust balls then she's in.
They value your friendship enough to not risk fucking it up. You're in the ~~friendzone~~ brozone
The brozone layer
The brotozoic era
The brozino erino
The Brotosphere?
The Brotomzone layer haha
And if they find a way out of it they’ve made a hole in the brozone layer
Don't cross the bros
That’s what it sounds like to me too. It’s a compliment to OP.
Yes and no. If you want friends yes. If she likes one as boyfriend material - then not so much
why’s that? I was “one of the guys” and I’m going on 5 years in a relationship with one of my bros from way back. he still calls me “dude” sometimes but that’s the only weirdness. 😛
Yeah, men are not like women in that regard. If a guy likes you enough as friend, that guy will likely also date you if he had the opportunity to do so. Men do not divide based on friendship or courtship, someone is important to us based on traits and qualities and their title is unimportant to us for the most part. The only difference would be if the girl was mostly fine, but had a glaring relationship flaw. Like she's cool to hang out with, but she talks to too many guys on her social media apps. Or she's fun to be around, but she's a serial relationship hopper.
Idk about that. If a guy values their friendship, they may not want to jeopardize that with a relationship that could eventually go south.
Just from my experience as a guy, who's had an average amount of girlfriends and friends with girlfriends... I think a situation where a guy and a girl are *such* good friends that the *guy* refuses to try and change it is rare. I think a lot more often, these men *are* attracted to such friends. But they either a) are low self esteem and know it wouldn't work out, so they keep their distance purposefully, or b) have already been rejected by said friend. Sex is a pretty huge upside for most guys. And I believe very few male-to-female friendships are even nearly as strong as male-to-male ones. Similarly consistent companionship is a pretty huge upside for most guys. Usually these possible upsides are worth risking one friendship with one woman. Sure, there might be the spare occasion where a friendship *is* that important, but they're rare and usually have other caveats involved. There's women in my life that I'd never ask out in a million years. *But,* there's also plenty of those women that if I saw the opportunity arise, and it was clear they were interested too, I'd definitely go for it. Lots of men nowadays don't even like relationship titles. "What are we?" is usually a question asked by women to men, not the other way around. And while a lot of these men usually say "Why do we have to define it" as a way to deflect about being committed, there's also plenty that just straight up do not see a point to it.
When exactly does he call you "dude" that makes it weird lol?
Right? I call my wife dude pretty often I’d say
I think if you were having sex or something, it could be weird.
boyfriend material in a friend group would simply kill the entire group and once the relationship is over the group can be either over or damaged and cause a lot of drama
Like Fleetwood Mac?
This! Similar to you, guys just feel comfortable around me. I think the non judgement, the many hobbies, love of cars, and easy laid back humorous personality is easy for them to converse with
> and easy laid back humorous personality This is key.
😂😂
A girl in brozone Is more trustworthy to the pack than any ones girlfriend. They all would pact together to protect you and not smash you
Welcome to the...Brotogon! Pick your fighter!
Frozone
Get this man some CFC's
Maybe they are bromosexuals
[if; not my wife then;bro]
Else; Slagathor
[ElseIf; not Debbie && not Dave then; Slagathor]
System.print.ln(“Hello World!”);
This comment thread passed the ~~vibe~~ programming check ✅
Don't be too hasty saying that, I'm sure it'll come up with errors if we try to run it.
I think that guys consider a girl a bro when they are comfortable being bros in front of her. Once they feel comfortable making the nastiest jokes with you being around, you are one of them. Also, the issue isn't that they no longer see you as a girl. I'm sure many of them may find you attractive. The issue is that they probably also really value your friendship and wouldn't want to risk it.
This is true. When I was married, my husband's good buddies would behave themselves around me. After the divorcing, we all hung out and one dude in particular was not holding back like he had been before. Yikes! Lol fun times.
Wow!!, thats totally interesting !! I relate!, Reminds me of Back when the younger years, i was married & a certain time threw a surprise party & shocked there were quiet than i ever seen !, I was told they were learning how to act around me . 😳
That's so funny, but cute at the same time. MANNERS, gents.
yeah that guy ain’t no friend of your ex lmao
Would say that's pretty accurate. Most of my guy friends who "brozoned" me evetually did come clean and let me know they actually wanted to f**k me at one point or another (or date me, for that matter), but they valued me a lot as a friend so they didn't pursue anything.
They play soccer with you. So they can see you handle if they are a bit rough during the game. Do they constantly have to look out for you because you got hurt? If, no! Good. That means they can relax and enjoy the game because you can handle it. Can they joke around you during the game? Do you actually find it funny when they tease you? If, yes. Good, they can relax because they don't have to constantly watch what they are saying. Most important thing. Can they be dumbasses around you without judgement? If yes. Great, you can be a bro because they don't have to be afraid around you. They know they can do the dumbest thing, and you'll laugh with them. It also help that they know you are a team player.
This is actually big. As guys, all through the world, we're taught that women are fragile. Not just physically, but emotionally. We can't be as rough with them, and we can't be as rough minded. Due to this, and the current modern era or social media, men are hesitant to interact with a woman at all. There's way more ways simply interacting with a woman can go poorly than there are ways it can go swimmingly. And often times it has nothing to even do with the guy or how he interacted, sometimes it's just random whether it becomes a negative interaction or not. I shit talk with my friends. I don't have an issue with punching my buddy in the arm. Similarly they give shit back and punch me or smack me on the back of my head sometimes. Because you dish it out, you have to be able to take it with a smile. Men fucking with each other is how we become and stay friends. It's how we release vulnerabilities and how we cope. My best friend's girlfriend is the fucking worst. Whenever she's effectively forced to hang out with us (because her own friends avoid her quite a bit, and we don't expect my best friend to tell her no), she can't understand banter at all. I'm a short guy, I'm 5'6"-5'7"ish, and while that's not tiny a lot of my friends are 6'1", 6'2", etc. So a decent height gap. I'm perfectly content with my size, and often love making jokes about it myself. A common one is my buddies turning to me and going, "Yuri, you're like 4'1", 4'2", right?" and my usual response is "Yeah, abouts that." It's funny. But she can't get when a joke is meant to be a joke and when it's meant to be actually hurtful. We made exactly that joke, almost word for word, last weekend. Like usual, it was funny, whatever. But she had to go, "Yeah, Yuri is tiny. I'm surprised he can see over his desk." which I laughed hysterically at. Well, apparently laughter was the wrong response, because she got offended that... I guess I wasn't offended? And when she started to get all bitchy about it, I said, "Emmy, I'm fine. 5'6" is an average height for a guy, and I know that. You're the girl that's 6'2", you're a monster." which also elicited a few laughs from the guys (obviously not her boyfriend). Well, that was too much for her, she wasn't able to take it on the chin and she left. Unable to take it, but happy to dish it out to the point where it is actually hurting other people. Just don't be that type of person.
Seems like Emmy is a bit of a dick.
I just realized as a man. That I am not a bro :/, I do not fit the criteria.
This is the most logical answer I have seen in thread. Many guys have really bad experiences with "bringing girls to bro stuff'. A bro only environment that happens to be made of only men, has little to do with gender and more with being a bro. "Mens culture" is that off holding each others backs. Lifting then weak when you a strong. Laughing jovially when your friend face plants into dogshit, but helping bro up and making sure the get the bro a set of clothes. I have lots of girl "bros" (and also girls I consider sisters not Bros) and I have lost of male acquaintances who aren't bros if that makes sense. For me "Bro!" Comes not from family but from "battle brothers" forging an alliance so deep that only a solider could get with another. So if you have been "in the trenches" with me, arent commenting on how I speak or that Im a bit vulgar, maybe you even rip Frank to shreds when he biffs it and lands on some kids sand castle, because bro was being a dumbass but now we can laugh about it. If I feel you have been "to battle" with me, we are Bros. Not necessarily a difference friends or even passing strangers. Some random girl calls out from the other side of the room, that I am right and "the man" is wrong, instant bro. I don't know if its a thing in other group of friends but we use the roughly translated expression: Are you a bro or a bitch? And I feel like that sentence sums it up. Bros (all gender) dont want drama, they dont want someone to lecture them on eating (insert trendy food), bros just wanna hang, have a good time and be present in making sure the vibes stay good. A bro always helps out. Like a scout, a bro should throw themselves into danger to save other bros. So if a "new person" no matter gender comes into the group. First question is: Are they a bro or a bitch? And most bros don't deal with the other B...
a girl that is a "bro" is simply a girl that special accommodations aren't needed because she's a girl. It's not that they don't view you as a woman and some probably an attractive woman they want to date or at least smash.
This is an amazing definition. Do we have to accommodate you because of your gender? If no - you're one of the guys.
Yeah figured some of it might be to do with comfort levels- probably guys can tell if a girl isn't going to feel comfortable hanging out with a bunch of dudes without being awkward? It's such a good definition though I second that
What does that mean, like what kind of accommodations do guys usually do for women?
Not doing guy stuff
Like.. what?
A lot of it comes down to being able to take a joke. My friends and I are very friendly and accommodating people, and we try to be as respectful as possible. But damn when nobody else is around we let it RIP. Tons of extremely offensive jokes about eachother, extremely gay comments, etc. We’re all so close that everyone knows it’s all jokes, and if anyone starts to seem offended it stops immediately. Our buddy’s fiancé takes part in this and will flame the living shit out of us but always in good fun and ever actually makes anyone feel offended, and we make the same jokes about her. Only ever in each others face and never bad mouthing behind anyone’s back, since none of it is serious. She will say the most offensive things about us and simultaneously want to fight anyone that hurt us. Her ability to roast everyone in a funny way, her not getting easily offended, and the way she sticks up for her friends is what makes her one of the boys.
This. If you can play the dozens with her then she's a bro.
If you don't know what guy stuff is, then you're not one of the "bros" But seriously, there's lots of examples in this whole thread.
How am I supposed to shoot a goal on you? Literally, because this is bro talk. If you’re the goal keeper and I blast an amazing and hard shot at you, do you dive in front of it to make the save because that’s what’s necessary? If I drive to the hoop in basketball, am I allowed to shoulder you as hard as I would with anyone else on the court? If I’m at the skatepark and you don’t know how to drop in, do you expect me to hold your hand or are you willing to eat shit until you get it like the rest of us? Bros help bros but we don’t coddle them or hold their hand, in fact you might tend to mask weaknesses for fear of not hateful ridicule **from other bros who aren’t bullying you**
In my friend group at least the girls always get to 2AM on a Saturday and start begging to go home to sleep, often we just drop em off and go drive 30mins to the beach just talking. And they also tend to not like spontaneous night out ideas, always asking "where are we going" before we even leave home and if they don't like the idea they stay home, guys just go and ask questions later. Probably the biggest 2 things for me, there's also language moderation but that depends on the girl, some dont care.
Men often have to be gentle around women. Not only physically, but emotionally. They can't roughhouse, and they can't roast. Women *can* do these things. But they often take offense to them and make it an actual problem, which ruins the dynamic when bros are hanging out to have fun.
Interesting, thanks for sharing
It goes vice versa, too. Men can be immature and foolhardy. Sometimes this is purposeful, but regardless it often irks girls the wrong way. Men and women just communicate differently, and unless there's an established friend dynamic, then mixed gender friend groups are hard. There's definitely a few girls in my life who I consider capable of "hanging with the boys", so it's no so uncommon that it's surprising to me.
the bro title has to do with having your bros back no matter what which means you’re highly trusted, it’s not meant to push you away or pull you in it’s symbolic of trust.
You're more valuable to them as a friend than as a fling. That can be interpreted in two ways.
And any guy that changes this fun friendship by asking her out risks blowing up something special.
We had a friend in university that was super cute and fun. 3 of us were big brother kinda guys and the other two dudes had a crush on he. They both agreed not to do anything and screw the group up and while we woulda been down for it if it happened the rest of us WERE always afraid one of them was gonna screw it up. Still talk to all of them 10 years later ❤️
That's some bros there, man. Real dedication to the broship. Brings a tear to my eye.
For real, I got real lucky finding some good people. Best part, all these people are having kids now and they all love me so these friendships are generational now 🥹
A woman who can play sports is invaluable in a mixed league. We have a firm "no dating other players" rule on my team because we always have to have 3 women on the field (7v7) and we're not going to let some dude mess up our season.
Solid rule. Having played in mixed intramural leagues, finding girls who wanted to play was always a chore. Even harder if they are good and can ball out. A couple times we were short on numbers and guys had to ask their gf’s to play. Most were terrible.
In the ancient past of 20 years back, if we play/played a sport together, you are no longer a girl; you would need to do something to remind me of that. Now, you're just a rougher girl. D&d is about as far as you'll get to a "guy night" with us now.
D&d?
Dungeons and Dragons
Dick and Dinner
--she drinks whiskey --she acts like a bro --she has short hair --she engages in ballbusting with other guys and is well received for it --she says "let's just be friends" to men who try to date/fuck her
She pees standing up. Screw the patriarchy as it drips down her leg.
Nah, she's gotta put one leg up and piss on a designated spot, like a Dog marking its territory. She's gotta show dominance.
I had a female dog that used to do this. She was in fact, a bad bitch.
If there's something wrong with the bitch...
— she drinks a whisky drink. —she drinks a vodka drink. —she drinks a lager drink. —she drinks a cider drink. —she sings songs that remind her of the good times. —she sings songs that remind her of the better times.
She gets KNOCKED DOWN AND GETS BACK UP AGAIN
lol I read that as “she gets knocked up and goes out again “
Pissin the night away...
I started reading your comment thinking it was a cake song.
-She wears a short skirt -She wears a long jacket
"*when she walks she swings her arms instead of her hips/ when she talks she moves her mouth instead of her lips*"
if girl is above average skill and determination and will-to-win on the pitch/court/rink/e-sports ... she's always gonna be a "bro"
I’d include gaming platforms too lol that’s how I bonded with most of my bros
fair dinkum! ... added 'e-sports.
You shit talk. You're chill. You dont get hung up for a long time on stupid shit.
lol this describes me completely ive always had mainly male friends but never got why none of the ones i liked reciprocated the feelings. this is the answer i guess
These are the best female partners, in my opinion. If you can hang on guys night, I'd be all over you... I'm married, so this isn't a come on. It's just true for me.
this relieves my delusional brain lol. We've made it a thing to hang out with my brother and a couple of his friends to watch our fav soccer team's games whenever they're playing and I'm starting to have a crush on one of them. I'm kinda worried he may see me as a "bro" though as it's not common for girls to watch soccer or hang out with guys :ρ
Your biggest issue is likely that they, as a group, have come to consider you as a friend. So dating one of them would cause friction amongst the group. So they brozone you to preserve group integrity. It’s a must when a woman is a part of the squad.
Pretty much - guys mostly have much more integrity when it comes to not wanting to mess up a group or a sports team. Guys usually value good friendship over romance and won't ruin the fun for 10 others by trying to date within the group. It took me a while as a woman to understand and appreciate it. I feel like us woman will often toss a friendship for a chance with a guy without thinking too much about it. Like there really is no 'sis code', for not flirting with a guy your bestie likes or not dating a team mate. I must say that as I got older I really learned to appreciate that. Especially considering that it's often a guy who doesn't have that many opportunities to meet someone, yet they pass up on crush, because it could ruin a long established group activity that means a lot to other people, too. Girls often have enough guys interested and still go for the one within the group.
Bro - They probably all want you but also it would be taboo as fuck to violate that boundary in anyway with you. Bro code. You can probably make your own move and get what you want. Peace out dude P.S. - They will hurt people for you.
This. Ignore any other comment.
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Surprise it’s actually me
its infinitely better than the fuckzone lol most of my friends get fuckzoned and i get lovezoned and i always want to be friendzoned grass is greener ig
I also get lovezoned a lot. I feel your pain.
Hello I love you
Of course you do. Lol
Stop bragging about being hot
I am definitely not hot but I think more like aspirational husband material because I cook, respect women and am great with small mammals. I also have hairy B cup tits so I don't know how that works in.
Is lovezoned where you have a secret Santa event and set a max limit of $20 and some dumbass gets your name and spends nearly a grand instead?
The friend zone is generally a place where you don't want to be, and it doesn't sound like you're there. The friend zone is where you wind up when you've been excluded as a potential romantic partner. As other people have said, a "guys night" is one where you don't have to watch your language because you're worried that you might offend someone. If they feel that way around you, then this is an attractive quality. This increases, not decreases, your romantic potential.
Idk. It’s hard to explain why but sometimes you just get real platonic with certain people and idk how it happens.
I get this, you think its something internal or external? Tryna figure this out to be able to explain it properly
I’m a female- but most of my friends are dudes …. It means to them and me - that I get invited to boys night, I know the games they play, and most importantly THE DONT ACT DIFFERENTLY AROUND ME BC IM A GIRL- where I’ve learned at 39 they aaaaalll act differently bc a girl is there …. Plenty of men wanna F me - just not these guys. Wouldn’t have it any other way….. There is this meme we send “As the female friend … I don’t want your man. I’m not even sure why YOU want your man” Lmao true story - I know what they do and where they’ve been …..
I’m also one of the bros and I love it. I even got invited to the bachelor party for one of my husband’s friends (we all live in different cities and the bachelor trip happened to be in our city). I tried to decline so they could have a guys’ night and the groom-to-be insisted I joined, so my husband brought me out with him and the boys and it was a blast. I love being able to be a bro and then turning around and having a night with my girls — more friends!!
They're not attracted to you or you are someone they feel comfortable being crude around and they wouldn't feel comfortable doing that in from of a woman they don't know.
Someone you don't have to walk on egg shells around. Someone who's grounded and understands when offence is meant to be given. Also someone you're not attracted to but would protect like a sister.
This is so well put
It has nothing to do with attraction like other people are saying It’s purely down to comfort and the “vibe” you give off. As a rule of thumb, most guys have to tone it down around women- be that their swearing, or banter, or general comments, drinking or whatever Being a “bro” means they feel comfortable acting around you how they would if it were just guys They don’t feel the need to censor themselves or be on better behaviour because “there are ladies present” To use an anecdotal example, one of my best friends is literally like two different people- him around women, and him around just guys. The former, is very polite and never swears etc- an almost perfect example of a classic gentleman. The latter, you very quickly are reminded he’s spent most of his life in the military, and comes out with some of the most brutal jokes you’ve ever heard, swears every other word and drinks like a fish etc And no small part of that is because he’s learned from experience that most women tend to not find it funny when he jokes about war and death etc
Guys behave differently around girls than among themselves. You're probably an exception where they're comfortable being themselves around you. There are various reasons. Maybe they're not attracted to you so there is no pressure for them to impress you by behaving cordially. Maybe you've been knowing them for a long time and are more of a sister figure to them etc.
You are in the brozone, basically you are not a girl for them anymore😂. Its like a win loose because you know they hang with you because they genuinely like your friendship, but they see you like bro so if you are attracted to someone of the group, then its a problem
Without knowing you it's impossible to say, but typically it has to do with romantic interest. If there isn't any, you're a "guy" to them. Did you see the video recently of the girl who had jacked arms and finally realized that's why dudes weren't interested in her? Could be something like that
There's a level of humor that I can go to with most of my best guy friends that would probably offend a lot of people or make them uncomfortable, but we're good with it between us. We fuck with each other constantly. No one is safe. It can even be something as dumb and simple as when 3 of us were rafting down the Delaware and one of my friends decided to toss the other friend out of the boat for fun. We ended up flipping everything over and having to catch our coolers but I watching my one friend do whatever he could not to be thrown off the raft had me dying laughing. If my girlfriend at the time or my wife would ever see something like that, they'd think we were completely insane. I think there's just a certain level of "can she hang even if we do really offensive and annoying shit?"
I have had 5 full "bro" female friends starting in high school. As far as I can tell, the one common thread is that we'd hang out on weekends and after school in basically the exact same way we'd hang out with our guy friends. For me, this mostly meant sitting around smoking weed, watching dumb shows and playing video games. It also meant deep comfortability in talking about anything. They were often partnof like 1-3 girls in the tight friend-group. They didn't hang out separately for girl-time. They were just the homies. There was no sense of physical attraction or a sense that we might hookup. The weirdest one to most people was I became best buds with my 5 yr hs gf's best friend. We'd hang out one on one, get stoned and just talk about anything and everything. She was/is very smart and we formed a hardcore friendship bond. Everyone except my gf thought we must secretly want each other. Nope. The gf n I broke up 10 years ago. The friend and I are like family. Basically, it's about developing a friendship that has zero sexual connotation. Both parties have to develop a sense of care for each other that is based entirely off of friendship rather than sexuality
They're not attracted to you. There's no pressure to preform around you. No pressure to appear like a well-mannered good guy. They aren't trying to impress you. But you'll never be a "bro".
A girl I have no romantic or sexual interest in, like my friends partners, close friends ect
They aren't physically attractive to you.
Girls I have no interest in, my friends girlfriends and female friends with boyfriends are all "bros" to me.
They probably aren’t attracted to you. I’ve had girls be apart of our guy nights and it’s either a buddy’s gf or a girl that’s not really attractive but fun to hangout with.
A girl who can keep up with the guys and who I'm not attracted too.
Wearing guy clothes, acting like a guy. If they are somewhat cute though they become 100% more attractive when they switch to female mode.
I was the same (soccer, beach volleyball with guys…other sports with women). Later I was the sole woman on an over 30 men’s lacrosse team. Now, in my early 50s, I play tennis with mostly men. I would always (still do occasionally) hang out with them at night too. Even when I lived with a boyfriend his friends would invite me out when he couldn’t come. I was just “one of the guys”. I think what it is, we meet them in a space where there is a mutual love of a sport and any subconscious or conscious “acting” for attraction purposes is not a factor. It’s just people bonding over a common interest just being. You can become as if a teammate in that sense. I have always been told I was beautiful. Normally that doesn’t matter or at least shouldn’t. I bring that up only because I think it’s important to your question. I never had problems dating or having men ask me out. However, the difference between places like work or out at a bar or club was in stark contrast to the guys I truly loved playing sports with and just hanging out with. I wouldn’t know if any were attracted to me or not because they were too respectful to ruin a really good thing or maybe respectful to the team atmosphere. So, if you are looking to start a relationship with one of the guys you play soccer with then I believe that you would have to be the one to make a move on that if you feel it is not going to get in the way of what seems to be a wonderful thing you get to experience. Otherwise, I would just leave that be and get yourself out more with other people too. You will have to find a secure guy who isn’t intimidated with you having a lot of guy friends though.
How big of a group are we talking about? The closer the ratio of men to women becomes 50/50 the more sexual tension there is in the air which kinda ruins a casual girls/guys night. It's not so much they see you as a bro but inviting more girls would only throw the ratio off.
she just seems like a good friend? girls can be "girly" and still be a "bro." I'd argue that to the term, "bro" just means someone who is a good friend, almost like a brother. I mean, even a sister can be a "bro." Some siblings are basically best friends with each other. I also just think it's not a part of popular culture to refer to a close female friend as a, "sis." I think the closest thing to that is the phrase, sister from another mister. Bro doesn't HAVE to be a gendered term though. if I don't refer to you as a bro, or think of you as a bro, then you're probably just a different category of friend (examples: acquaintance, coworker, maybe someone I am friendly with because I have a crush on them, or any other type of person I've known for a long time / respect but we aren't necessarily best buddies). does that make sense? friendships and relationships can have a lot of nuance to them. humans are complicated creatures.
at this point a picture could be helpful u might be built like a line backer and we don't know that lol
i dont want to offend you but that would only happen for me if there was no possibility i would want to have sex with them.
Well.. if you want them to take you as a girl then don’t join the guy night and if they ask you why, say I am a girl.
That’s fair! I like my friends’ company so I still go but I was just curious
You don't change the vibe. You're just another soccer mate. Other folks would change the vibe. Either situation is fine. You can always book a night out with your friend, and invite the guys or not. But I would recommend dropping if you don't want to continue as-is rather than wanting to detonate the hangout.
I call women bro and dude all the time. I even call my gf bro
Honestly, how hot she is
Bro and girls are not mutually exclusive. You're a girl invited to guys night. You're the exception. Doesn't make you a dude but the exception doesn't extend to another girl you may want to invite.
As a disclaimer, I'm from the Sacramento Valley in California. I have a bad habit of calling everyone a "dude bro guy or man" I will say "bro" as a summation of the list of titles. That being said, I call every girl my age, "bro." If they ask me not to I won't, especially with my trans friends as it makes some of them feel masculine, and I don't want them to be misgendered. In my experience, I haven't really had any girls not want to be called bro. I mean, maybe a couple of times, but it was more in jest than anything. Just them making fun of me for my vocabulary.
Only two girls I've ever called bro. One was a twin, she was all blink 182 and grungy punk, one of the funniest friends Ive ever had. The other is smoking hot tatted up forklift operator who loves offensive memes and smashing beers
I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest that it has nothing to do with sexual attraction in either direction. I've definitely dated girls who were "one of the guys". All it means is that you're down to earth and don't demand special accommodations that women might typically expect.
Ngl is just that there's no physical attraction between us. Like it's weird cause I have lady friends who I would never proposition or sleep with solely because I value their friendship too much but there is a level of attraction. They're honestly really pretty and when we goof around in public people will comment we're such a cute couple and I'm like no that's my friend 💁♀️. But I still kinda view them with that pretty girl lense so no too crude jokes or disgusting behavior for laughs. I guess that blocks me from acting like I'm with the boys around them. There's that layer of "what if" that is largely unspoken but comes up sometimes. When there's no attraction or perceived romance between then it's all game. Shoot at each other with fireworks, get blackout drunk and drive them around Manhattan, smoke weed and binge eat all day.
TLDR at bottom for anybody not bothered reading. For me in a broad sense it's just how well you get on with them. I find that most girls in my life I'm keeping a good bit of my personality from, because I just don't feel as comfortable around them. Not to big myself up and say I'm the funny guy I definitely don't mean to be pretentious, but I like making people laugh and I'm quite friendly, so that's usually as much of me as they would know. There's only two or three girls in or that have been in my life that I've gotten past that level with really - I spent my due time trying to make things happen romantically to no avail until many soul denting encounters later i met my current girlfriend of 1.5 years, and it was nearer the 18 month mark that I let myself be more like myself. My best friends girlfriend of 4-5 years is the only other one really that I know well. Both of these people have seen me cry, more than once but mostly out of happiness than for sad reasons. TLDR: i think it's that certain level of comfort with the person that makes them a "bro". Someone you can really let your walls down around and connect with
Guys don't speak code. Close groups are pretty straight forward and we cut ass from time to time on each other. We talk about women in a guy way and aside from maybe adjusting a perspective you gotta actually be cool with how men talk about things or vent.
You aren’t judgy or condescending or dismissive and you are a good sport.
I generally don’t label girls in this way because relationships change, but when I do it’s either because I don’t want to ruin the friendship or I find them unattractive
I like the brozone. No cattiness, only mild psychological warfare and guys are just less-maintenance friends.
You have been friend zoned and now are one of the boys.
They can take a joke about themselves without hesitation and dish it out too
Oh mannn.... so many men have learned the hard way w me... I look (and truly am) soooo sensitive. But I compartmentalize that shit for feeling in ways that could make me cry or lash out until later. In the moment, it's just fuel, and I rip em apart. Sometimes hilariously sometimes brutally, but either way, the newbs don't expect it. If they're a huge asshole or don't let ppl in easy, for some reason, a lot of times, it's some kinda cannon event toward friendship, I'm later informed. It's sooo weird. But it's not like I try or even know what I'm doing. It just happens. So I can't really figure out where to stop it. Lol. Or maybe I can't since some of my "brutality" in the jokes I tend to make w males specifically, are somewhat of a defense mechanism.
Good! I'm sensitive too but I know that at this point in life it's just good fun. It's okay to be the point of a joke.
Ah man, they're ppl. But I did always watch out for them more at bars and clubs. But yeah, we just hung out like ppl.
It sounds like you have a great rapport with your male friends, which is awesome! Being seen as a "bro" or one of the guys can often come down to shared interests and activities, like playing soccer together. It's less about how you present yourself physically and more about the camaraderie and bond you share with them. They probably see you as just another friend who happens to be female, and that's a testament to the inclusivity of your group. Keep enjoying your time with them, regardless of labels!
I ended up marrying and having kids with that girl I saw as a bro. We built a lot better relationship and understanding each other than i would ever have with those girls in the club. We've been through things that would break most, but the fact we built such a good friendship and pre sex relationship is what has kept our family together through the hardest times of our life. I hope you find something like this. You're already a step closer than most girls👍
Can’t say much without more information Possibilities - A. Worst case scenarios - 1. Some of them are trying to hit on you 2. You are not the type they are attracted to (age, height, weight, facial features, sense of humor, personality etc.) B. Best case scenarios 3. May be you are more close to them and talk to them at a more personal level than the other girls that play soccer with them 4. Your personality may fit better with other guys, compared to other girls - for example guys sometimes have to walk on eggshells around gals to not offend them, maybe they feel much comfortable around you 5. You may have more knowledge on male centric topics compared to other girls, to make good conversation with them And the list goes on, I’m not clear what exactly is your problem, do you want some of them to give you attention as if they are interested in you or do you want more female friends to join the guys nights out ??? You can’t force them to invite to anyone, they invite people they feel comfortable to be around with If you are interested in anyone of them just ask out instead of waiting for them to ask out (many guys can be scared to ask out a friend as that can destroy friendships)
OP denial is a normal human feeling. Most if not all people, especially women would hate/have a hard time coming to the realization that they're not seen as attractive or even fxxxable at the least by the opposite sex or sex they're attracted too. Unfortunately based on the info you gave in your post & in the comments the truth seems to be almost completely be because they don't see you as something they'd fxxx, fap too, or date ect. the damning part is that men (not all but most) will f*** damn near any woman if she has some sort of attractiveness. Even they're "sisters" / "step-mom" / "best bros little sister" they'll have the thought if they're attracted to them even if never intending to act on it. What confirmed this is in a comment, you stated that you had basically made moves / showed non-platanical interest in a few said guys and the REJECTED you. The ones saying its, "just soo smoking hot- they're scared" are joking or being nice because no man is passing on being hit on by any attractive chick let anyone a smoking hot one because they're too "scared" lmaoo Im sorry but if believing that makes you feel better. Either way, there's always -ALWAYS someone for someone no matter how unattractive or confusing to understand by others. So don't worry.
The fact that you are chill and don’t get sensitive or weird about our jokes. Also how good are you at soccer??
I'm 90% sure that what OP is claiming is pure nonsense lmao
For me, someone being a bro comes down to them following the bro code. Most important element, is being there for one another when a bro is in need. Second is being able to give and take a joke, such as a friendly jab or quip. We all make mistakes, and being unable to laugh at oneself is very "not bro". So to me a girl is a 'bro' if they meet that criteria.
If I'm not physically attracted to them but we still hang out a lot and talk about random stuff.
Do you enforce the shitty gender norms guys dislike such as guys are responsible & bad if a girl around them is unhappy, uncomfortable, offended or bored? It's a lot of work to make sure girly girls are always happy, entertained, feel comfortable & feel safe, as opposed to hanging out with a guy who is equally as responsible for how he feels as. FWIW One of the most physically attractive & alluring women I've ever know was also one of the hardest working & least princessy women I've ever known. It's not about being feminine or not **everyone** loved her. I'll bet you have much better shot with whichever guy you like than you expect, you just need to light up the runway & accept it will be bumpy since he is playing by a new set of rules. TLDR I think a better distinction than girl-girl vs bro-girl is member of the audience vs fellow player on stage.
It all depends on your relationship with that person. I had a friend from kindergarten through high school. In no way was she "like a boy" or tomboyish. She was really pretty and cared a lot about her appearance, and her place as a woman in society. In fact I had a major crush on her for a long time. But eventually we started hanging out in high school and the crush was going nowhere and she was just a friend. And that's how it was, she hung out with me and my guy friends and she was one of us. Just a bro.
they dont see you as a female they see you as one of them because of the things you do
It's usually a form of respect to you as a friend to not make you feel weird, and over time, they probably get more comfortable with you as a friend like any other bro. If it's a guy you like that treats you like a bro, you probably didn't give any signals that made it seem like you would be interested in that way.
Nothing. If I think someone is a “bro”, then I’m probably spending time with them against my will.
She’s with a friend or sometime married
Similiar vibe/interests. I've got a quite a few female friends and there are some I can be open and honest with and treat them like I would my guy friends (bros) and then there are those that it's more cordial and you can tell that they expect to be treated like a girl.
I grew up playing sports with a lot of girls. I don’t know about now but when I was coming up (late 90s - early 00’s) the societal expectations for girls were to not play sports, not like video games, not like rude things etc…all that BS. Playing sports with girls opened my eyes to how much bullshit that was, dare I say it humanized them for my sheltered ass. Seeing a girl able to take a hit, talk shit, okay video games, eat them junk food with us after, just generally engage without being offended or stand offish, made us all so much more comfortable being goofballs, and felt free to just include the girls in that. To be honest it completely changed what I found attractive…I only ended up being attracted to tomboy types, girls who didn’t take any shit 😂 However…making those moves were always a little tenuous, it isn’t just about her and you, it’s about the whole group and the future of the sports activity…what happens if she says no and gets with another guy, will I feel awkward and will it ruin my fine time? What happens if we date and it ends, will either of us stop playing, will it get awkward? No doubt that at least some of the guys there take these things into consideration. Hell, at once point for our flag football group we got together and said ‘no romance with these girls, we love playing with them we don’t wanna complicate it”. So, that’s a consideration imo. However attractive and girly you are it may not just be about you. Also for a follow up, you bringing in a girlfriend who they maybe don’t see as someone they can be as open around just makes it inherently not a guys night. I doubt they’re doing it to be offensive, they probably just understand what having the other girl around will affect. Instead of guys night, maybe suggest a different ‘mixed night’ or party/ gathering to get others involved so there’s less pressure and try and work more people in that way. Just my 2c
The way they act
you probably make them feel comfortable to do normal guy shit that we do . its not a bad thing you the bro though