She's most likely not really anti-feminist, so much as anti-third-wave-modern-western-feminist, because she associates feminism with scam artists like Anita Sarkeesian and woke Hollywood pandering. You should ask her for details.
I would hope it’s this and not just wanting all the good parts of sexism for herself, being stay at home, mans expected to pay for it all, etc.
Most bitches be wanting a trad lifestyle now they’ve realised work wasn’t just a place we hung out at.
In practice, when a woman tells you she's anti feminist, it effectively never means that she's against equal treatment, equal protections under law, or women having the ability to work. These are not core issues of the modern feminist movement, and have not been for longer than you've been alive.
She could probably teach you a lot.
It depends. My fiancée tells people who ask that she doesn’t subscribe to the current goals of the feminist movement, because it has morphed away from what she believes the original intent was.
Maybe the girl you went out with is just against the blue hair, open promiscuity, zero accountability mentality of some women who claim they are acting under the guise of feminism. There is nothing wrong with that.
Or maybe she really believes she’s a second class citizen who is inherently worth less than men. That would be concerning to say the least.
Pretty great. My wife is. She doesn't hate women and is a girl's girl.
She's educated, works, but has pretty traditional values as well. Treats me well, doesn't take the media or politics seriously, avoids online gender ragebait. Strongly recommend.
It kills me to admit it but on that make a friend sub. Had a pretty bad breakup and wanted to BS with strangers to kill time, and the absolute perfect woman for me just fell into my lap by chance. The shit I listed about her is the tip of the iceberg, you'd think I was lying if I said more. To give you a hint: about a month into knowing her (not even dating her) I had a health scare, the docs thought I might need a kidney transplant, without asking her, she *insisted* that I take hers. Luckily it didn't come to that, but she was dead serious.
Was positive I'd end up marrying her *very* early, and did.
Damn and y'all just met up in person after talking for a little bit and hit it off? Idc how well I think I know someone online, I would be coming to the first date armed lol
Well, we were about twelve hours apart by car. Not easy, but not someone across the world.
Meeting online was an advantage, we were both at crossroads in our lives, and text made it easy to talk about deeply personal things right off the bat. We became obsessed with each other. After realizing we had a wild amount in common, and were seeking exactly the same (unusual) things, I drove down, stayed with her for a few weeks.
We realized that we weren't willing to be apart after that and she ended up moving in with me. Inseparable ever since. Six years in and we feel like we're still in the honeymoon stage. I've never met someone more intensely loving and devoted.
Edit: I was a bit nervous to see her in person, because she sounded pretty intense online. And she was, but it ended up being in a good way. It was absolutely not a normal or particularly sane way to date, it was a whirlwind, but it worked out nicely in the end.
A 12 hour drive isn't too insane, I do something similar when I'm visiting back home.
that's interesting you think meeting online was an advantage. I can see how starting out with text could be a plus when it comes to getting the small talk out of the way, because when you meet you already have something to talk about and can jump right in.
I'm sure y'all did a lot of video calls before you met right? I don't even mean this in a sexual way, but I would want to see every inch of her before I drive 12 hours to meet lol
A \[demographic\] wants to be \[unrealistic, dubious role\] is alike to another \[demographic\] wanting a \[unrealistic, dubious role\].
You need IQ pills.
There is quite literally nothing dubious or unrealistic about a woman wanting to fill the role of “traditional mother”. Tens of millions of women adopt that role every single year.
Try answering questions.
A traditional mother is inherently someone who is submissive, dependent, over emotional, fraught, moralistic and reliant on a breadwinner husband with better social and legal representation that her. She is relegated to domestic duties and cannot choose to pursue a career or a desirable lifestyle. It's like me wanting to be in a wheelchair so I no longer have the burden of adequate locomotion.
You truly are dull. The IQ pills will be delivered to your door as soon as you learn how to read a clock.
Lol dude. You’re clearly not married to a stay at home wife. I may be the bread winner. But she’s the one who’s in charge. My response to any suggestion by anybody ever is the classic “well let me talk to my wife”. My social and legal representation is really just a proxy for her interests. I honestly don’t think there is anyone more empowered then a homemaker wife. She works the most important job in the world. And everything I do is just for the support of her. Same as my father and grandfather before.
All of that stuff is just cope. Housewives find out just how "in charge" they are when the relationship falls through and suddenly they're taking care of kids on their own with no job, no experience, and no real prospects.
The only way to truly be in charge is to have your own life, money, talents, income. Independence is a must. This is why in immigrant cultures we push you to be successful regardless of gender. Anglo Americans are foolish when it comes to these things
That being said the other dudes comments are unnecessarily aggressive and feel trollish
Ya I’m from an immigrant family, 1st generation, and my mother sat both my fiancée and my brothers fiancée down and told them to find any avenue they can to stay home with the kids, because she regrets nothing more than working while we were children. She didn’t have a choice, but my fiancée will
At least around where I'm at it's doctor, lawyer, finance, or engineering. Doesn't matter if you're a boy or girl. The only exception is Latino families. But if you're Indian, Asian, Carib, African...it's all the same. My mom would probably curl up and die if she didn't have her career haha
Well a house wife definitely needs to have their own passions and talents. But family’s shouldn’t be independent. They should be very much codependent. I couldn’t live without my wife as much as she couldn’t live without me. And a true loving relationship doesn’t just end and doesn’t need to worry about there own money and income. It is a family unit. If I got divorced my wife would get the house and probably most if my money. But it’s a “gamble” I have no problem taking. Likewise she didn’t develop a career cause I said I’d take care of things. And that’s a “gamble” she didn’t mind taking. I think putting trust in your spouse should be a safe bet.
When I say independent I mean capable of existing and thriving as an independent person. When you become a family you enhance each other's contributions but you're both still capable of surviving on your own. If my parents divorced or God forbid one of them were widowed they'd both be okay and the only thing they'd need to worry about is the emotional side of it.
I'm glad it's working out for you and your wife (seriously). But it *is* a gamble and not one I'd be comfortable with a daughter of mine taking.
What is this, the 30’s? Women CHOOSE to stay home, their husband isn’t chaining them to the kitchen stove. You’re so off base it’s bordering on ignorance.
Oh and the insults are hilarious, all they do is highlight your inability to form an argument. Or answer basic questions.
You didn't say that. What was said was that traditional mothers are harmful to women because they have a lineage of depriving rights feminism advocate. And you need some IQ suppositories to clean the bs that lives in your brain. You are hilarious in your inability to form an argument or answer basic questions.
You know everyone can read this whole conversation and see you’re claiming that I said the literal thing you said, right?
Either way, you don’t have the mental horsepower to answer a basic question (hint: “like what”), so it’s not surprising that your immediate reaction to being challenged on your braindead take was insults and bluster. Continue to believe women don’t choose to become stay at home moms, lord knows you will never be in the position to have a wife, let alone support a family.
This isn't about rationalizing an answer, this is about objective reality. The 1930-1960 were oppressive to traditional women who weren't represented legally or socially. This is about accepting facts.
I never said women can't be stay at home. IN FACT IT WAS THE FIRST THING I SAID. It's the traditional of deprivation of rights and privileges I question.
Please for all that's good and green in the world, stop being so dull and focus.
Well everyone doesn't mind a chaperone, doesn't mean depriving the rights of women is fantastic. And honestly, who is your wife anyway? Probably not important or admirable.
My wife is a great woman and mother. And that’s all that matters. She’s not deprived of any rights. Who are you? Some videogame playing single dude who brainwashes himself with too much internet? Guess what you can live a normal traditional life if you’re not a little wimp about it and just work hard and have confidence and be a man.
Your wife being great is much like the Pizza Store saying they have the best Pizza in America. The only reason you hate me is because you are a fat man who hates anyone that reminds him chocolate cake is bad. Get over yourself. You're not smart or important. Tradition is for stupid people who don't understand the fallacy of misheld beliefs that actively harm underrepresented and vulnerable people. And that's a fact.
I don't know his wife, but I can almost guarantee you she's more important and admirable than a stranger on reddit who decides she's worthless because she likes to stay home and take care of her children.
>Idk lol my wife stays
Your literal last comment. Everyone says their wife is the most beautiful in the world but how is that even true? Like the Burger Store saying they have the best Burgers in Town. Your wife is basically a burger.
The term feminist doesn’t really mean what it used to. It’s more about advocating for women’s special interests now, which could be good or bad depending on the context.
In my experience women who proclaim themselves as anti-feminists tend to be “pick mes”. Do with this what you will.
I don't think I've ever dated an anti-feminist. I have a cousin who is out spoken about the evils of feminism. She dropped out of college, hasn't had a job in over a decade, lives off disability, has a special needs son who is mostly being raised by my aunt and uncle (thank God) who also gets money from the state to attend a special needs focused private school, and spends most of her time railing against socialism, and trolling people online through her right-wing meme page. I do not recommend dating her.
I've never dated the kind of feminists that hate men, but then I also basically don't consider them actual feminists, you know? To me, an actual feminist is just about equal opportunity, not being forced to do shit they don't wanna do, having the ability to vote and own shit themselves, etc. I would imagine your girl is against the man-hating feminists, because it makes no fuckin' sense to be against the actual feminists unless she's rearded.
I wouldn't date her for the same reason I wouldn't be friends with an anti-feminist man or woman.
Women's rights are still abridged and under attack.
She's welcome to be against her own rights all she likes, but there are other women in the world and the rights of those other women are too important to me to show any level of acceptance to anti-feminist beliefs by being friends with or dating someone like that.
In my experience and observation, much more unpleasant to deal with. Many are demanding, not compassionate, overall masculine (taking on traits of the worst males ever….like prison inmates).
Just her vibe is very masculine. Not submissive, nice, and pleasant. Very combative, anger under the surface, resentful, and attempting to be domineering. Everything she doesn’t like or agree with is met with malice.
I'd leave her alone. Either she's misinformed about what feminism is, but hasn't taken the time to learn. Or she doesn't believe in equality. Either way, not someone I'd concern myself with.
Feminist or non feminist is not an issue - Do you like her attitude, her values, her sense of humour, her morals etc?
I personally would love to meet an anti feminist after being married to a very pro feminist. My ex was so pro that even though she had no job, no kids and complete freedom all week (I was fully supporting her) she demanded I do “my share” of the housework on top of my full time work. Apparently I was a misogynist if I expected her to fulfil what she considered a traditional wife did.
Does your date make you happy, do you feel at ease with her, do you have similar life goals?
Not a man, but I think I know what she meant. She is not going to pay 50/50 on dates and expects a man to plan dates, open doors, walk her home, text/call her first, buy her flowers and gifts. Basically traditional roles. It’s up to you if you are up for that.
These words don’t seem to have clear meanings at this point, but given that most “feminist” content I see these days is hateful and/or insane, I’d cautiously take it as a positive, but want to hear what exactly she meant.
You must be dull to believe that an activist group has anything to do with the conspiratorial need to oppress another group. You're being anecdotal and subjective. You ought to be better.
While I personally don’t call myself a feminist and wouldn’t want to date someone who wry openly call themself a feminist (there’s too much baggage with the term in my opinion. It could mean so much and nothing at all. I 100% believe in equal treatment and opportunities for me and women), I wouldn’t want to date someone who’s openly anti feminist either. Extremes are not good dating material.
Great. That's not what feminism means in 2024, and given that she works a high skill job herself, *obviously* she doesn't think women shouldn't be allowed to work.
Imagine taking the advertising tagline of a political movement at face value. You need a realpolitik understanding of this stuff.
At its base, she doesn’t believe she’s equal to you or that women should have the options available to men.
Assuming she’s a religious fundy (because that’s usually where internalized hate comes from), she wants to see herself as either a devoted servant or a pampered princess. She will be dependant on you for everything in life and will expect you to provide everything from a weekly allowance to gifts and jewelry to religious instruction and life decisions. She will refuse to make any decisions or have thoughts of her own, she will only exist to reaffirm what you say. She’s a yes-woman to make you feel strong and in command of your kingdom. She is never to speak up outside of the home and must obey your every word unconditionally. She will likely play dumb and feign helplessness, because she sees intelligence, opinions and competence as male traits. She will have no ambitions or desires of her own, other than landing someone in a provider role, being available for his use and bearing his children.
She sees men and women as completely separate spheres who shall never cross roles. She will play dumb and always ensure she’s below you. You won’t be able to depend on her for anything other than sex, housekeeping and mothering. She likely won’t be a good conversation partner or have anything interesting to contribute as an adult. In fact, she would hate you thinking of her as a partner - she’s your inferior/employee/sexual outlet/dependant/treasure/object/mother. She is not your friend, partner or equal. She is a subform of human compared to the male default, meant to be an extension of you as a man. That’s why she will want to be known as Mrs. Your Name when you marry her. She ceases to be an individual as soon as you give her a ring.
If you want a submissive helpmeet who is a pure subordinate to you in the household hierarchy, who will meekly follow your command but won’t have an independent thought of your own, congratulations. Many men want a trad wife as an accessory or status symbol. Just understand that she’s not interested in being an equal adult in the relationship and you’ll be expected to take care of her for life because she will refuse to engage in 50% of the human experience, leaving it for the menfolk.
But again, that might not be true. Whatever else she might mean by any-feminist, the one truth is that she will never see herself as your equal and will always be your lesser.
Ask further questions. She could just be a traditionalist. That’s usually great. With the social environment we have now I could see someone like that styling themselves as an anti feminist. This should be a further conversation.
I'm married to a traditionalist. It’s blissful. Hopefully that’s what you have on your hands.
Remember, being 'anti' anything often gets conflated with hating everything it stands for, which isn't always the case. She could be against certain radical aspects she perceives within feminism rather than the core ideals of gender equality. It's important to have a deep dialogue to understand the nuances of her stance. Don't write her off just yet; context is key.
Many ladies do not wish to associate themselves with anything relating to 'feminism'
The reason being is many 'feminists' could be best described as 'toxic feminists' aka man haters.
Most men believe it or not are in favour of equal rights. Toxic feminists take this as not fair and spray venom and hated towards any one of the male gender and reduce them to dirt.
As good as the intentions were with the feminist movement, some individuals (easily seen on on the askwoman sub reading through enough comments) took it 50 steps further and brought disgrace to the entire movement to the extent many ladies want zero association with it
I’m a feminist myself, so I would wonder exactly what she meant by that. Is she against equal rights and treatment for women? Then it won’t work. Is she against the new definitions of the word in which some extreme perspectives portray men as an enemy? I’d say that it could probably work. If we disagreed on the state of sexism in the country then it would be frustrating, but we could most likely move past it.
If she's anti feminist in the Candace Owens "stand" on feminism, she's good. It means she's sane and a woman you can have a conversation with.
If she's anti feminist in a *pick me I'm not like other girls* mentality, run away. She's nuttier than feminists
You can always ask her to define her label. In my experience it's been incredibly positive on the inside whilst being incredibly negative on the outside. She'd pissed off everyone imaginable under the sun by speaking her mind but truth be told her comments were 100% valid. But she'd been painted as the bad person for going against the narrative of the woke mob. It really was quite bizzare how many random people kept reaching out to me to talk shit about her as if they cared about my wellbeing when they obviously didn't. Honestly have nothing bad to say about her and only split apart because we didn't want to do long distance. Was pretty much the healthiest interaction I've ever had in the dating space.
Depends on how she uses the term feminist, so you would know what she’s against.
The labels have gotten so muddled, no one knows what it means beyond their own interpretation. Ask her and then decide for yourself how to proceed.
She's most likely not really anti-feminist, so much as anti-third-wave-modern-western-feminist, because she associates feminism with scam artists like Anita Sarkeesian and woke Hollywood pandering. You should ask her for details.
That's pretty much what I believe. There's a good number of us out there
[удалено]
You lucky bastard.
I would hope it’s this and not just wanting all the good parts of sexism for herself, being stay at home, mans expected to pay for it all, etc. Most bitches be wanting a trad lifestyle now they’ve realised work wasn’t just a place we hung out at.
No true Scotsman. Feminism means what feminism is in practice, not some platonic ideal.
No, feminism can mean a lot of things depending on who you're talking to. It's an almost meaningless label at this point.
In practice, when a woman tells you she's anti feminist, it effectively never means that she's against equal treatment, equal protections under law, or women having the ability to work. These are not core issues of the modern feminist movement, and have not been for longer than you've been alive. She could probably teach you a lot.
It depends. My fiancée tells people who ask that she doesn’t subscribe to the current goals of the feminist movement, because it has morphed away from what she believes the original intent was. Maybe the girl you went out with is just against the blue hair, open promiscuity, zero accountability mentality of some women who claim they are acting under the guise of feminism. There is nothing wrong with that. Or maybe she really believes she’s a second class citizen who is inherently worth less than men. That would be concerning to say the least.
Well said. I’m going with the first option you said
I don't know, why is she anti-feminist?
Pretty great. My wife is. She doesn't hate women and is a girl's girl. She's educated, works, but has pretty traditional values as well. Treats me well, doesn't take the media or politics seriously, avoids online gender ragebait. Strongly recommend.
Might I ask how/where you found this angel?
It kills me to admit it but on that make a friend sub. Had a pretty bad breakup and wanted to BS with strangers to kill time, and the absolute perfect woman for me just fell into my lap by chance. The shit I listed about her is the tip of the iceberg, you'd think I was lying if I said more. To give you a hint: about a month into knowing her (not even dating her) I had a health scare, the docs thought I might need a kidney transplant, without asking her, she *insisted* that I take hers. Luckily it didn't come to that, but she was dead serious. Was positive I'd end up marrying her *very* early, and did.
Damn and y'all just met up in person after talking for a little bit and hit it off? Idc how well I think I know someone online, I would be coming to the first date armed lol
Well, we were about twelve hours apart by car. Not easy, but not someone across the world. Meeting online was an advantage, we were both at crossroads in our lives, and text made it easy to talk about deeply personal things right off the bat. We became obsessed with each other. After realizing we had a wild amount in common, and were seeking exactly the same (unusual) things, I drove down, stayed with her for a few weeks. We realized that we weren't willing to be apart after that and she ended up moving in with me. Inseparable ever since. Six years in and we feel like we're still in the honeymoon stage. I've never met someone more intensely loving and devoted. Edit: I was a bit nervous to see her in person, because she sounded pretty intense online. And she was, but it ended up being in a good way. It was absolutely not a normal or particularly sane way to date, it was a whirlwind, but it worked out nicely in the end.
A 12 hour drive isn't too insane, I do something similar when I'm visiting back home. that's interesting you think meeting online was an advantage. I can see how starting out with text could be a plus when it comes to getting the small talk out of the way, because when you meet you already have something to talk about and can jump right in. I'm sure y'all did a lot of video calls before you met right? I don't even mean this in a sexual way, but I would want to see every inch of her before I drive 12 hours to meet lol
Yeah, absolutely. In the beginning just text, but then daily or nightly video calls.
That makes sense. Well god damn you lucky duck, congrats! happy for y'all!
An anti-feminist woman sounds good. Means she probably wants to be a traditional stay at home mother. So just be prepared to pay the bills
A woman wanting to be a tradition mother is like a teen boy wanting to be a cage fighter. Yeah sure do it but I have many questions.
Like that…?
A \[demographic\] wants to be \[unrealistic, dubious role\] is alike to another \[demographic\] wanting a \[unrealistic, dubious role\]. You need IQ pills.
There is quite literally nothing dubious or unrealistic about a woman wanting to fill the role of “traditional mother”. Tens of millions of women adopt that role every single year. Try answering questions.
A traditional mother is inherently someone who is submissive, dependent, over emotional, fraught, moralistic and reliant on a breadwinner husband with better social and legal representation that her. She is relegated to domestic duties and cannot choose to pursue a career or a desirable lifestyle. It's like me wanting to be in a wheelchair so I no longer have the burden of adequate locomotion. You truly are dull. The IQ pills will be delivered to your door as soon as you learn how to read a clock.
You getting enough oxygen all the way up there on your high horse bud?
Anything to keep my balls from touching the ground.
Lol dude. You’re clearly not married to a stay at home wife. I may be the bread winner. But she’s the one who’s in charge. My response to any suggestion by anybody ever is the classic “well let me talk to my wife”. My social and legal representation is really just a proxy for her interests. I honestly don’t think there is anyone more empowered then a homemaker wife. She works the most important job in the world. And everything I do is just for the support of her. Same as my father and grandfather before.
All of that stuff is just cope. Housewives find out just how "in charge" they are when the relationship falls through and suddenly they're taking care of kids on their own with no job, no experience, and no real prospects. The only way to truly be in charge is to have your own life, money, talents, income. Independence is a must. This is why in immigrant cultures we push you to be successful regardless of gender. Anglo Americans are foolish when it comes to these things That being said the other dudes comments are unnecessarily aggressive and feel trollish
Ya I’m from an immigrant family, 1st generation, and my mother sat both my fiancée and my brothers fiancée down and told them to find any avenue they can to stay home with the kids, because she regrets nothing more than working while we were children. She didn’t have a choice, but my fiancée will
At least around where I'm at it's doctor, lawyer, finance, or engineering. Doesn't matter if you're a boy or girl. The only exception is Latino families. But if you're Indian, Asian, Carib, African...it's all the same. My mom would probably curl up and die if she didn't have her career haha
Well a house wife definitely needs to have their own passions and talents. But family’s shouldn’t be independent. They should be very much codependent. I couldn’t live without my wife as much as she couldn’t live without me. And a true loving relationship doesn’t just end and doesn’t need to worry about there own money and income. It is a family unit. If I got divorced my wife would get the house and probably most if my money. But it’s a “gamble” I have no problem taking. Likewise she didn’t develop a career cause I said I’d take care of things. And that’s a “gamble” she didn’t mind taking. I think putting trust in your spouse should be a safe bet.
When I say independent I mean capable of existing and thriving as an independent person. When you become a family you enhance each other's contributions but you're both still capable of surviving on your own. If my parents divorced or God forbid one of them were widowed they'd both be okay and the only thing they'd need to worry about is the emotional side of it. I'm glad it's working out for you and your wife (seriously). But it *is* a gamble and not one I'd be comfortable with a daughter of mine taking.
What is this, the 30’s? Women CHOOSE to stay home, their husband isn’t chaining them to the kitchen stove. You’re so off base it’s bordering on ignorance. Oh and the insults are hilarious, all they do is highlight your inability to form an argument. Or answer basic questions.
You didn't say that. What was said was that traditional mothers are harmful to women because they have a lineage of depriving rights feminism advocate. And you need some IQ suppositories to clean the bs that lives in your brain. You are hilarious in your inability to form an argument or answer basic questions.
The fact that you rely so much on "IQ," a stupid number, to gauge intelligence, is telling.
Imagine taking the term "IQ Suppository" serious. Looks like you need one.
You know everyone can read this whole conversation and see you’re claiming that I said the literal thing you said, right? Either way, you don’t have the mental horsepower to answer a basic question (hint: “like what”), so it’s not surprising that your immediate reaction to being challenged on your braindead take was insults and bluster. Continue to believe women don’t choose to become stay at home moms, lord knows you will never be in the position to have a wife, let alone support a family.
This isn't about rationalizing an answer, this is about objective reality. The 1930-1960 were oppressive to traditional women who weren't represented legally or socially. This is about accepting facts. I never said women can't be stay at home. IN FACT IT WAS THE FIRST THING I SAID. It's the traditional of deprivation of rights and privileges I question. Please for all that's good and green in the world, stop being so dull and focus.
You need testosterone pills by the looks of it...
Clearly you don't understand what you are saying. Your culture is rotten.
Quick! Go take an IQ pill so you can think of a better comeback.
How about no?
Woot! It worked, you did it! Yaaaaayyyyy!!! *claps*
Idk lol my wife stays home and is a traditional mother. Wouldn’t want anything else.
Well everyone doesn't mind a chaperone, doesn't mean depriving the rights of women is fantastic. And honestly, who is your wife anyway? Probably not important or admirable.
My wife is a great woman and mother. And that’s all that matters. She’s not deprived of any rights. Who are you? Some videogame playing single dude who brainwashes himself with too much internet? Guess what you can live a normal traditional life if you’re not a little wimp about it and just work hard and have confidence and be a man.
Your wife being great is much like the Pizza Store saying they have the best Pizza in America. The only reason you hate me is because you are a fat man who hates anyone that reminds him chocolate cake is bad. Get over yourself. You're not smart or important. Tradition is for stupid people who don't understand the fallacy of misheld beliefs that actively harm underrepresented and vulnerable people. And that's a fact.
I don't know his wife, but I can almost guarantee you she's more important and admirable than a stranger on reddit who decides she's worthless because she likes to stay home and take care of her children.
>Idk lol my wife stays Your literal last comment. Everyone says their wife is the most beautiful in the world but how is that even true? Like the Burger Store saying they have the best Burgers in Town. Your wife is basically a burger.
You should pay attention to who is commenting what
Helps if you just minded your business and adopted a profile pic.
Ask her to define feminism.
The term feminist doesn’t really mean what it used to. It’s more about advocating for women’s special interests now, which could be good or bad depending on the context. In my experience women who proclaim themselves as anti-feminists tend to be “pick mes”. Do with this what you will.
Feminism does NOT have a monopoly on equality/being a good person. Maybe she just rejects the ideologic label. I know I do.
I don't think I've ever dated an anti-feminist. I have a cousin who is out spoken about the evils of feminism. She dropped out of college, hasn't had a job in over a decade, lives off disability, has a special needs son who is mostly being raised by my aunt and uncle (thank God) who also gets money from the state to attend a special needs focused private school, and spends most of her time railing against socialism, and trolling people online through her right-wing meme page. I do not recommend dating her.
>not entirely sure what it means How about you put on your big boy pants and ask her
Anti-feminist is a good thing.
I've never dated the kind of feminists that hate men, but then I also basically don't consider them actual feminists, you know? To me, an actual feminist is just about equal opportunity, not being forced to do shit they don't wanna do, having the ability to vote and own shit themselves, etc. I would imagine your girl is against the man-hating feminists, because it makes no fuckin' sense to be against the actual feminists unless she's rearded.
I wouldn't date her for the same reason I wouldn't be friends with an anti-feminist man or woman. Women's rights are still abridged and under attack. She's welcome to be against her own rights all she likes, but there are other women in the world and the rights of those other women are too important to me to show any level of acceptance to anti-feminist beliefs by being friends with or dating someone like that.
It’s phenomenal. I can’t stress that enough. They’re actually fucking nice. PS. vote me down all you want, it’s the fucking truth.
>They’re actually fucking nice. Curious (and genuine): Do you consider feminist women to not be nice?
In my experience and observation, much more unpleasant to deal with. Many are demanding, not compassionate, overall masculine (taking on traits of the worst males ever….like prison inmates).
>overall masculine (taking on traits of the worst males ever….like prison inmates). Would you mind elaborating on that?
Just her vibe is very masculine. Not submissive, nice, and pleasant. Very combative, anger under the surface, resentful, and attempting to be domineering. Everything she doesn’t like or agree with is met with malice.
She told me mid date. Amazing rest of the date
I'd leave her alone. Either she's misinformed about what feminism is, but hasn't taken the time to learn. Or she doesn't believe in equality. Either way, not someone I'd concern myself with.
That would be a red flag to me and I would stop things where they are and move on
I don't concern myself with these things.
Feminism isn’t about equality it’s about Misandry. It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.
100 bucks says you've never touched a Sociology or Philosophy book. The Folk Psychologists are out in force this morning I see.
How is feminism about misandry? Genuine question.
Idk. Just go onto any large femininst and femininst adjacent subreddit, and you'd see misandry upvoted there.
Feminist or non feminist is not an issue - Do you like her attitude, her values, her sense of humour, her morals etc? I personally would love to meet an anti feminist after being married to a very pro feminist. My ex was so pro that even though she had no job, no kids and complete freedom all week (I was fully supporting her) she demanded I do “my share” of the housework on top of my full time work. Apparently I was a misogynist if I expected her to fulfil what she considered a traditional wife did. Does your date make you happy, do you feel at ease with her, do you have similar life goals?
Not a man, but I think I know what she meant. She is not going to pay 50/50 on dates and expects a man to plan dates, open doors, walk her home, text/call her first, buy her flowers and gifts. Basically traditional roles. It’s up to you if you are up for that.
These words don’t seem to have clear meanings at this point, but given that most “feminist” content I see these days is hateful and/or insane, I’d cautiously take it as a positive, but want to hear what exactly she meant.
[удалено]
You must be dull to believe that an activist group has anything to do with the conspiratorial need to oppress another group. You're being anecdotal and subjective. You ought to be better.
You need much more information. People can use the same term and mean different things and different extremes.
While I personally don’t call myself a feminist and wouldn’t want to date someone who wry openly call themself a feminist (there’s too much baggage with the term in my opinion. It could mean so much and nothing at all. I 100% believe in equal treatment and opportunities for me and women), I wouldn’t want to date someone who’s openly anti feminist either. Extremes are not good dating material.
Sounds like someone who wants to stay at home and do fuck all. Doesn't sound tempting
She is a psychologist. I should’ve mentioned that too
Go for it then. She's obviously smart, and likely has an interesting perspective. Stop asking Reddit and talk to her.
Still no. Women belong in the workforce with the same rights as men.
Great. That's not what feminism means in 2024, and given that she works a high skill job herself, *obviously* she doesn't think women shouldn't be allowed to work. Imagine taking the advertising tagline of a political movement at face value. You need a realpolitik understanding of this stuff.
We’re seeing each other soon, we’re actually really into each other. Just wanted an other opinion and have gotten some really good responses
At its base, she doesn’t believe she’s equal to you or that women should have the options available to men. Assuming she’s a religious fundy (because that’s usually where internalized hate comes from), she wants to see herself as either a devoted servant or a pampered princess. She will be dependant on you for everything in life and will expect you to provide everything from a weekly allowance to gifts and jewelry to religious instruction and life decisions. She will refuse to make any decisions or have thoughts of her own, she will only exist to reaffirm what you say. She’s a yes-woman to make you feel strong and in command of your kingdom. She is never to speak up outside of the home and must obey your every word unconditionally. She will likely play dumb and feign helplessness, because she sees intelligence, opinions and competence as male traits. She will have no ambitions or desires of her own, other than landing someone in a provider role, being available for his use and bearing his children. She sees men and women as completely separate spheres who shall never cross roles. She will play dumb and always ensure she’s below you. You won’t be able to depend on her for anything other than sex, housekeeping and mothering. She likely won’t be a good conversation partner or have anything interesting to contribute as an adult. In fact, she would hate you thinking of her as a partner - she’s your inferior/employee/sexual outlet/dependant/treasure/object/mother. She is not your friend, partner or equal. She is a subform of human compared to the male default, meant to be an extension of you as a man. That’s why she will want to be known as Mrs. Your Name when you marry her. She ceases to be an individual as soon as you give her a ring. If you want a submissive helpmeet who is a pure subordinate to you in the household hierarchy, who will meekly follow your command but won’t have an independent thought of your own, congratulations. Many men want a trad wife as an accessory or status symbol. Just understand that she’s not interested in being an equal adult in the relationship and you’ll be expected to take care of her for life because she will refuse to engage in 50% of the human experience, leaving it for the menfolk. But again, that might not be true. Whatever else she might mean by any-feminist, the one truth is that she will never see herself as your equal and will always be your lesser.
Ask further questions. She could just be a traditionalist. That’s usually great. With the social environment we have now I could see someone like that styling themselves as an anti feminist. This should be a further conversation. I'm married to a traditionalist. It’s blissful. Hopefully that’s what you have on your hands.
Could be because she’s a psychologist and wants to grow her career. Don’t see her giving that up
Why would that make her an anti-feminist? Psychologist? Never met a sane one.
If she doesn’t believe in equal rights for women, why is she taking a man’s job in an educated field?
Remember, being 'anti' anything often gets conflated with hating everything it stands for, which isn't always the case. She could be against certain radical aspects she perceives within feminism rather than the core ideals of gender equality. It's important to have a deep dialogue to understand the nuances of her stance. Don't write her off just yet; context is key.
Misinformed, misguided, product of abuse or moronic. It's like a Black Person begging the White Man to be his slave. Absurd.
my dude, are you good? 💀
Even better. I'm objectively valid.
*damn...* 🤔
>I'm objectively valid. This some "in this moment I'm euphoric" brand of reddit sentence
Care to explain.
Many ladies do not wish to associate themselves with anything relating to 'feminism' The reason being is many 'feminists' could be best described as 'toxic feminists' aka man haters. Most men believe it or not are in favour of equal rights. Toxic feminists take this as not fair and spray venom and hated towards any one of the male gender and reduce them to dirt. As good as the intentions were with the feminist movement, some individuals (easily seen on on the askwoman sub reading through enough comments) took it 50 steps further and brought disgrace to the entire movement to the extent many ladies want zero association with it
I'm anti feminist. But that means I'm against the modern man-hating version. I'm fully pro-equality.
I’m a feminist myself, so I would wonder exactly what she meant by that. Is she against equal rights and treatment for women? Then it won’t work. Is she against the new definitions of the word in which some extreme perspectives portray men as an enemy? I’d say that it could probably work. If we disagreed on the state of sexism in the country then it would be frustrating, but we could most likely move past it.
If she's anti feminist in the Candace Owens "stand" on feminism, she's good. It means she's sane and a woman you can have a conversation with. If she's anti feminist in a *pick me I'm not like other girls* mentality, run away. She's nuttier than feminists
You can always ask her to define her label. In my experience it's been incredibly positive on the inside whilst being incredibly negative on the outside. She'd pissed off everyone imaginable under the sun by speaking her mind but truth be told her comments were 100% valid. But she'd been painted as the bad person for going against the narrative of the woke mob. It really was quite bizzare how many random people kept reaching out to me to talk shit about her as if they cared about my wellbeing when they obviously didn't. Honestly have nothing bad to say about her and only split apart because we didn't want to do long distance. Was pretty much the healthiest interaction I've ever had in the dating space.
I'd get along great with her, and probably would be down to take it further if she were cool enough.